


anytime you want

by shahha



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-01-17 23:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 187,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12376251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shahha/pseuds/shahha
Summary: tap on my window, knock on my door | I want to make you feel beautiful | […] my heart is full and my door's always open | you come anytime you wantAshlyn Harris can’t believe her luck when Ali Krieger shows up at her dorm room needing a place to sleep after she’s been sexiled by her roommate. She gladly offers to share her bed with the beautiful stranger, unknowingly opening her heart as well as her home.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Nothing about Ali Krieger’s first weekend at college goes according to plan. Prior to moving into the dorms a week before school started, she had only communicated with her roommate, Hannah, via facebook to discuss things like decor and who was going to bring the mini-fridge and who was going to bring the microwave. Their conversations, though slightly awkward, were pleasant enough and Ali looked forward to the year ahead of them, certain that she and Hannah were bound to be friends.

 

When move-in day rolls around, however, it becomes painfully obvious that Ali and Hannah are very, very different people. Ali arrives as soon as students are allowed to pick up their keys, hoping to beat as much of the afternoon move-in rush as she possibly can but Hannah is nowhere to be found.

 

Once Ali gets her room assignment and keys at check-in, she and her parents take the first load of her belongings up to her third floor dorm. Hinton James is one of the largest residence halls on campus, boasting a capacity of nearly 1,000 students spread throughout four different wings so Ali and her parents consider it a win when they only get lost twice on the search for Ali’s room. When they finally arrive at room 327, Ali starts unpacking her belongings while her parents move the car to the closer entrance to finish the unloading process.

 

The first box Ali unpacks while waiting for her parents is her box of toiletries which she carries into the bathroom she and Hannah will share with the people in the dorm next door. With a semi-private bathroom shared only between four people, Ali feels confident in simply writing her name on her hair and beauty supplies and claiming the second of four shelves in their bathroom cupboard as her own. Perched on the toilet with the lid closed, Ali uses a black sharpie to write her name on her brand new products, only stopping when someone from the next room over enters from the other bathroom door.

 

Ali jumps a little at the unexpected intrusion but when she looks up to see an attractive girl with short brown hair wearing black joggers and a baggy t-shirt, she relaxes a little.

 

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here,” the other girl says as she makes a move to back out of the room.

 

“No worries, I was just putting my stuff in here,” Ali says. She puts the cap back onto her sharpie and sets it down on the floor next to her yet to be marked bottles. “I’m Ali,” she says, standing to shake the other girl’s hand.

 

“Ashlyn.” She flashes Ali a smile, a dimple appearing in her cheek as she shakes hands with the long haired brunette. She’s about to say something, anything, more to get to know Ali a little when she hears her dad calling her from within her dorm. “I should go help my dad get stuff out of the car but I’ll see you around.”

 

“Yeah, see ya,” Ali replies. When Ashlyn exits, Ali returns her attention to carefully arranging her bathroom products on the small shelf and returns to her own room to start unpacking the rest of her belongings. The dorm is small so she’d been selective about the things she brought with her and it takes less than two hours to get everything situated the way she wants. When everything is finished, she and her parents go out to dinner before they drop her back off and head to their hotel for the night.

 

When Ali arrives back to her dorm, there’s still no sign of Hannah so she decides to see if Ashlyn needs any help unpacking only to be told by Ashlyn’s roommate, Alex (according to the construction paper leaf on their door), that Ashlyn isn’t home.  

 

Ali extends an offer to explore the building a little with Alex but Alex explains that she has plans to meet her boyfriend for dinner so Ali sets off through the halls alone. She quickly locates the common room situated between wings A and B and sets off down the center hallway to find a similar common room bridging wings C and D. Next to the common rooms are large, somewhat outdated kitchens that Ali figures are rarely used beyond the toasters for bagels in the morning. The more she explores the building, the easier it becomes to navigate so after half an hour, she returns to her room feeling much more familiar and comfortable with her new surroundings.

 

When she gets back, the door is unlocked so she’s unsurprised to find Hannah unpacking inside. What she doesn’t expect is the clinking of glass bottles as Hannah searches for the best place to put her alcohol stash. As Ali enters, Hannah moves several bottles from under her desk into the bottom drawer of her dresser.

 

“You think the RA would find it here?” Hannah questions.

 

“Honestly, that’s probably the first place they look.”

 

Ali climbs the ladder to her loft bed and settles with her back against the wall and her legs crossed in front of her. Hannah doesn’t say anything but she moves the full bottles so Ali knows she must agree that her hiding place was fairly obvious. As Ali watches Hannah try different hiding places, she realizes that this is going to be a long semester and that maybe she and Hannah aren’t as compatible as she thought as they communicated over the summer. When Ali first got settled, her primary concern was perfectly organizing her desk, where she’ll spend a lot of her time in the room. Meanwhile, Hannah’s biggest concern is hiding her alcohol stash. In face, Ali hardly sees any actual school supplies on Hannah’s side of the room.

 

Despite their differences and Ali’s uneasiness at the situation, she’s determined to at least give Hannah a chance and makes small talk as Hannah unpacks her few belongings. Hannah is nice, at least, which gives Ali a little hope that it won’t be as bad as she’s anticipating.

 

~

 

Welcome week officially kicks off the next day so Ali takes the opportunity to explore the campus a little and score as many free t-shirts from as many organizations as she can. By the end of the first day, she has three brand new shirts, a laundry bag, more pens than she knows what to do with, and an invite to an off campus party that night. Thinking this might be her chance to make some friends, Ali heads back to her room to get ready for the party.

 

Even without knowing anyone, the party is more fun than Ali anticipated. She doesn’t know anyone well enough to rely on them to take care of her if she gets too drunk so she switches to water when she starts feeling tipsy in order to maintain control. She ends up staying longer than she originally thought she would but eventually the long, busy week catches up to her and she decides to go back to her dorm.

 

She doesn’t even have the door open all the way when she hears the unmistakable sounds of her roommate having sex. She closes the door quickly and shakes her head vigorously, as if she can erase the sounds of Hannah’s moans and some guy’s grunts from her mind like an Etch A Sketch.

 

“Well that was fast,” she mutters as she slumps against the wall just outside the door. She’s been okay so far with not knowing anyone at school but she wishes she had someone to turn to now. She briefly considers crashing on a couch in the common room and starts the trek down the hall when she decides that maybe she can stay on Ashlyn and Alex’s floor. Sure, she doesn’t really know them but they do all share a bathroom so they might be open to having her as a guest for the night. Plus, at least she’ll at least be able to brush her hair and take her makeup off in the bathroom.

 

Confident that this is her best option, Ali turns back around and heads for Ashlyn and Alex’s room. She knocks a few times with no answer and just as she’s decided that they’re probably not home, Ashlyn opens the door looking sleepy and disheveled in her sleep shorts (that look like were pulled on quickly given the fact that they’re crooked on Ashlyn’s hips) and a cutoff tank.

 

“Ali, right?” Ashlyn says, her voice raspier than Ali remembers.

 

Ali nods, biting her lip guiltily in the realization that she woke Ashlyn up. It’s the middle of the night so she’s not sure why she didn’t consider that Ashlyn might be sleeping and she feels a little bad for waking the other woman up.

 

“Your room is next door,” Ashlyn says. “If you’re thinking your key didn’t work, that’s why.” They’ve only met once and Ashlyn can’t think of another reason Ali would be at her door in the middle of the night. But Ali just tilts her head in confusion and Ashlyn realizes that there must be another reason behind the late night visit.

 

“I’m not lost,” Ali says. “I just walked in on my roommate having sex and I need somewhere to sleep. I forgot it’s the middle of the night because I’m a little tipsy so I’m really sorry for being the biggest jackass in the world and waking you up.”

 

Ashlyn’s face softens into a soft smile at Ali’s explanation. Ali is incredibly attractive and here she is knocking on her door in the middle of the night because she needs somewhere to sleep. Even though she knows they’ll only sleep, she feels like she’s already hit the jackpot just 36 hours into her official college experience.

 

“In that case, come on in,” Ashlyn grins. She allows Ali inside and watches as Ali tries to slip out of her ankle booties. She’s a little unsteady so Ashlyn offers her forearm for Ali to hold onto as she removes her shoes.

 

“I also might need to borrow some sleep clothes,” Ali says. “I promise I’ll wash them and give them back.”

 

“Well aren’t we needy tonight,” Ashlyn teases.

 

“Sorry,” Ali shrugs. “Where’s Alex?”

 

“Oh, she’s dating a sophomore we went to highschool with so she’ll be at his place most nights. She wanted to live with him because they’ve been dating for three years but her parents wanted her to wait at least another year. Works for me because I’ll basically have this place to myself,” she explains as she grabs a shirt and shorts from her dresser. She tosses the garments to Ali who completely misses the catch and has to pick the up off of the floor.

 

“I would’ve caught that if I was sober.”

 

“Sure you would’ve,” Ashlyn teases.”Obviously you know where the bathroom is.”

 

Ashlyn waits patiently at her desk as Ali readies herself for bed. When Ali emerges from the bathroom ten minutes later, Ashlyn’s heart flutters at the sight of Ali in her clothes. It’s just a simple t-shirt and athletic shorts and it’s not nearly as sexy as the dress Ali showed up in but it gives Ashlyn butterflies in her stomach nonetheless.

 

“You didn’t have to wait for me--you could have gone back to bed,” Ali says. “I can just sleep on the floor so if you have an extra pillow and blanket that would be great.”

 

“You’re not sleeping on the floor,” Ashlyn says. She would never make someone sleep on the hard floor if she could avoid it but she also doesn’t want Ali to sleep in Alex’s bed either. She knows Alex wouldn’t mind but she can always use a good cuddle session and she feels as if this is the perfect opportunity to cuddle with a beautiful woman (as long as Ali is up for it, of course). She knows they’ll only sleep but at this point, she’ll be just as content to cuddle and get to know Ali a little. “I would offer for you to sleep in Alex’s bed but she’s kind of particular about her stuff so I’m not sure if she’d be too thrilled about that. You can sleep with me.”

 

“Are you sure? These beds are pretty small.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “Better than you sleeping on the floor or me getting in trouble for letting someone touch Alex’s stuff.”

 

“Works for me.”

 

Ashlyn climbs into bed first, allowing Ali to take the space along the railing instead of being squished against the wall. It’s only a twin bed so it requires them to lie on their sides and even then it’s a little tight with two adults. At first, they lie facing each other and Ashlyn feels her pulse quicken at their close proximity. They’re so close that Ashlyn can feel Ali’s breath on her skin and if Ashlyn let herself think about it too much, she’d be pretty turned on. “So you went out tonight?”

 

“Someone invited me to a party earlier and I figured I should go so I can get to know some people. I’m guessing you stayed in considering I woke you up from what seemed to be a dead sleep.”

 

“Kind of lame, right?” Ashlyn laughs. “We’re in season right now so we’re basically on lockdown.” She so used to everyone knowing her as a soccer player that she doesn’t think twice about this simple explanation until Ali gives her a quizzical look. “Alex and I are on the soccer team,” she explains. “We’ve played together since we were kids and both fell in love with this school. It’s really nice having someone like that here.”

 

“Wait, if you’re already in season why were you just moving in yesterday?”

 

“Only some of the dorms are open during the summer so Alex and I were in another building the last few months. I don’t know why they wouldn’t just assign us to those rooms for the whole room but here we are. What about you? Did you know your roommate before?”

 

“I don’t know anyone here. I got a half scholarship so it was kind of hard to turn down even though it scared me that I don’t know anyone here.”

 

Ali initially planned on going to the same school as some of her friends from back home but when she was awarded half an academic scholarship at UNC, she knew there was no way she could turn it down and go anywhere else. Luckily she’s a fairly outgoing person who doesn’t have trouble making friends so she knew it would only be a matter of time before she found her place at school. Lying in bed across from Ashlyn, she thinks that she may have found a place she belongs in the room next door to her own.

 

They don’t really know each other yet but Ashlyn was so kind even though Ali woke her up in the middle of the night. She could’ve turned her away or told her off for waking her up but instead she offered her bed and clothes to a stranger. They still have a lot to learn about each other but Ali knows that tonight is a sign of Ashlyn’s character.

 

“Well you know me,” Ashlyn grins. Ali smiles back at her, her nose crinkling a little and her tongue poking through her teeth and Ashlyn would swear it’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen. Neither says anything for a moment and although Ashlyn thoroughly enjoys studying Ali’s face, it is a little awkward given their close proximity. “So you and the roomie are off to a good start?” she asks, clearing her throat.

 

“Oh god,” Ali laughs, rolling her eyes. “Not at all. She showed up yesterday evening and was mainly concerned with where to stash her alcohol so the RA won’t find it. Not to mention I just walked in on her having sex with some random guy.”

 

“At least she’s having a good time.”

 

“A little warning would’ve been nice.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll get revenge eventually,” Ashlyn teases. Even in the dim light of the moon streaming in through the window, she can see Ali blush. Her cheeks color a deep crimson and her eyes go wide, amusing Ashlyn to no end.

 

Both girls are quiet for a moment but this time, it’s Ali who breaks the silence. “I don’t know,” she says. “I have to get into law school.”

 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun along the way,” Ashlyn reasons.

 

Ali’s cheeks color once more and she self consciously covers them with her hands, as if it’ll make her embarrassment less obvious instead of calling more attention to it. “Then I think I’ll at least be considerate enough to give her a heads up,” she decides.  

 

“So polite.”

 

Ali tilts her head a little and studies Ashlyn for a second. Not counting their brief introduction yesterday morning, they’ve known each other all of thirty minutes and Ashlyn is already comfortable teasing her like they’ve been friends for years. She wonders if Ashlyn is always like this or if Ashlyn just likes giving her shit. “You like to tease, don’t you?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs the shoulder that’s not pressed into the mattress. “I have an older brother. It’s kind of how we operate.”

 

“I have an older brother too,” Ali says. She wants to say more, to let Ashlyn in on Kyle’s current struggles with drug and alcohol abuse but it feels a little soon to open up about her family’s baggage. Instead, she decides to change the subject to something a little less heavy. “Thanks for letting me stay here and borrow your clothes.”

 

“Hey, it’s not every night a pretty girl shows up at my door needing a place to sleep.”

 

“Oh, so you think I’m pretty?” Ali teases. Ashlyn clearly enjoys teasing her already so she might as well tease her back. Instead of being embarrassed, though, Ashlyn just looks amused.

 

“I think any conscious being would recognize that fact, Ali.”  

 

Ashlyn’s response throws Ali off for a second. She fully expected a teasing response but Ashlyn’s words were nothing but genuine. Paired with her dimpled grin, Ali can’t help but be charmed by the short haired brunette. “So you’re an expert in teasing and flattering I see.”

 

“All part of my charm,” Ashlyn grins.

 

“Are you always like this?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know,” Ali begins, trying to put her question into words. “Like you’re comfortable with me even though we don’t really know each other. You’re flirty.”

 

“That’s what people say,” Ashlyn says. “But I don’t really think of it like that. I’m just being myself. I was kind of aggressive as a kid because I didn’t have the most positive environment so now it’s really important for me to be kind to people. If that’s read as being flirty then so be it. Does it make you uncomfortable?”

 

“No, not at all. I’m just not used to it is all.”

 

Ashlyn nods her understanding. The last thing she wants is to make Ali uncomfortable. She’s known her attraction to women for as long as she can remember and while she definitely finds Ali attractive, she doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries and scare her away. “I guess you gotta get used to it if we’re gonna be friends,” she says.

 

“Guess so,” Ali grins.

 

“As much as I would love to talk some more, I really should get some sleep. I have to be sharp tomorrow if I’m going to stop Alex’s shots at practice.”

 

“Sorry to keep you up so late,” Ali says. “Coffee’s on me in the morning.”

 

“It’s a date.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> massive shoutout to Lauren for helping me with this fic. It's been a team effort and I wouldn't have nearly as much completed or planned without her. 
> 
> Hope you guys liked it and I'd love to know what you think! It started with wanting some classic bed sharing and it's become much bigger than I originally intended so get ready ;)


	2. Chapter 2

 

Ashlyn doesn’t sleep very well. 

 

Though it was her idea for Ali to sleep in her bed, she’s very cautious not to get too touchy with the other girl. She certainly doesn’t want to make Ali uncomfortable so she forgoes her own comfort and sleeps on her side with her back pressed against the wall. Ali sleeps facing the railing and if it weren’t for the few inches of space between them, they would be spooning. It’s not too bad at first but throughout the night, Ali moves closer and closer to Ashlyn so Ashlyn presses herself closer to the wall until there’s nowhere else for her to go. Her shoulders and spine dig into the wall uncomfortably and she worries that she’s going to be extra sore for practice in the afternoon. 

 

With no option to give Ali more space without physically pushing her away, Ashlyn finally relaxes close to dawn and manages to fall into a somewhat restful slumber. She’s still careful not to put her hands on Ali and holds them against her own chest instead, using them as a buffer between them. 

 

Despite her disrupted sleep, Ashlyn still wakes before Ali in the morning. Years of early morning training sessions and road trips to away games has her rising with the sun even on days like today when she could and should sleep in. 

 

During the few hours since Ashlyn pushed her anxiety aside and finally fell asleep, Ali managed to move closer and closer to Ashlyn until they were pressed together from head to toe. Ashlyn doesn’t have anywhere to be just yet and even if she did, she would be reluctant to move and wake Ali up so she remains still and daydreams as she looks out the window. The sun has just begun to rise and although Ashlyn doesn’t consider herself to be a morning person, she loves a good sunrise when everything is still and the world is cast in a golden glow. 

 

She wonders if Ali prefers the sunrise or sunset. She wonders if she’s ever had the pleasure of watching them over the ocean. If their friendship continues to grow, Ashlyn decides, they should go on a road trip to the coast one day to watch the sunrise together. 

 

It takes nearly an hour of lying still before Ali finally begins to stir. Ashlyn is briefly relieved that she’ll finally be able to move but instead of waking up, Ali simply rolls over and buries her head against Ashlyn’s chest. 

 

Ashlyn is momentarily taken aback by their new position but decides to make the best of it and begins running a hand through Ali’s hair in an attempt to wake her up gently. She runs her hand through Ali’s long chocolate colored locks over and over again. Ali’s hair is softer and silkier than she anticipated and suddenly all of Ali’s hair supplies in the bathroom make sense. 

 

With the sun streaming in through the blinds and Ashlyn’s gentle hands in her hair, Ali slowly begins to wake. When she realizes what position she’s in, she quickly moves away from Ashlyn, cringing a little and letting out a sigh. She’s usually not a physically affectionate person and has to be super comfortable with someone to cuddle like that so the fact that she woke up with her head buried against Ashlyn’s chest is somewhat mortifying. “Sorry I kind of invaded your space.” 

 

“You’re fine,” Ashlyn assures. “I just didn’t know what to do with my hands. Other than that it was pretty nice, actually.” 

 

Ashlyn’s words are just enough to reassure Ali that she didn’t somehow make things awkward between them. And, truthfully, she slept really well next to Ashlyn. Though they’ve just met, Ali finds Ashlyn’s presence extremely comforting so as long as Ashlyn is okay with their close proximity, so is Ali. “Well next time don’t worry about that. Apparently I was feeling cuddly so you could’ve just went with it. I promise I wouldn’t have minded.” 

 

“Next time?” Ashlyn asks, quirking an eyebrow. 

 

There’s Ali’s blush again. It’s not nearly as deep as last night but it’s unmistakable on Ali’s cheeks. Ashlyn decides to take it easy on her and pretends not to notice. 

 

“Yeah, I mean, I figure this is gonna be a long year with my roommate. At this point I’ve spent as many nights in your bed as I have in my own so I’m sure it’s bound to happen again.”

 

“Well you know where to find me,” Ashlyn grins. “Now how about this coffee I was promised? The best part of being here all summer is that I know of a really good place off campus we can go.” 

 

Both women take turns in the bathroom to get ready. Ashlyn simply brushes her teeth and runs a hand through her hair in an attempt to make it flow the way she likes while Ali brushes her teeth, puts her hair in a high bun, and swipes on a little mascara. She could take the opportunity to change into clothes from her room but she needs her coffee as soon as possible and Ashlyn’s clothes are super comfortable, though not quite her style. 

 

Ali doesn’t yet have a car on campus (she plans on driving hers back after Thanksgiving break) so Ashlyn drives to a quaint little coffee shop about fifteen minutes off campus. It’s close enough that it’s not too far out of the way but far enough that there aren’t too many other students so Ali instantly knows why Ashlyn likes it so much. 

 

As promised, Ali pays for Ashlyn’s drink. She even commits Ashlyn’s order to memory (luckily it’s pretty similar to her own) for future reference, figuring it might come in handy one day. 

 

Ashlyn picks a table next to the window in the back of the café where they’ll have a little privacy to get to know each other better. Despite their long conversation last night, they don’t know too much about one another and a long talk over coffee and muffins is the best way to rectify that. 

 

They talk about where they’re from, the decisions that led them to the University of North Carolina. For Ashlyn, it was the elite soccer program. For Ali, it was a half scholarship and the opportunity to challenge herself by leaving her comfort zone. 

 

Ashlyn learns that Ali is a political science major with plans to go to law school to become a juvenile defense attorney. 

 

Ali learns that Ashlyn hopes to be a professional soccer player but she still needs to come up with a backup plan in case it doesn’t pan out. She’s always been so focused on soccer that she hasn’t had the chance to pursue other interests so she plans on using her first year or two at school to figure out what direction she wants to take. 

 

They both talk about their families a little but if Ali hadn’t mentioned having an older brother last night, Ashlyn would have no idea he existed. She assumes the relationship must be strained for some reason or another but Ali doesn’t volunteer the information and Ashlyn doesn’t pry. 

 

Before they know it, two hours have passed and they have to leave so Ashlyn won’t be late for practice. Just before they go into their separate rooms, Ashlyn stops and pulls her phone out of her pocket, quickly locating and opening her contacts application. 

 

“I know that we live right next to each other but it wouldn’t hurt to exchange numbers. You know, in case you get sexiled again or something. That way you won’t wake up half the hall banging on my door.” 

 

“Good thinking,” Ali grins. She quickly adds herself as a contact in Ashlyn’s phone. “Text me so I have your number,” she says as she hands the phone back. 

 

“I will. Thanks for the coffee.” 

 

“Thanks for the bed.” 

 

“Anytime.” 

 

Ali’s smiling as she unlocks her door and slips into her dorm. She hasn’t even kicked her shoes off yet when she feels her phone vibrate with what must be a text from Ashlyn. 

 

_ Coffee’s on me next time.  _

 

Ali’s smile grows wider as she types out her response 

 

_ Sounds like a plan. _

 

~

 

As the first week of school begins, Ali and Ashlyn are increasingly busy. Ali wants to get into law school so she does her research and starts getting involved with student organizations and even looks into sororities in addition to her classes while Ashlyn has to juggle class and soccer practice. They’ve seen each other in the dining hall once or twice but they haven’t spent more time together other than that so most of their interactions occur via texts.

 

Despite how little they actually know each other, Ali finds herself missing Ashlyn by the end of the week and she certainly doesn’t want their potentially burgeoning friendship to slip away because they’re too busy with their own activities so she comes up with a plan for them to spend some time together. 

 

She lies. 

 

She knows from memorizing the women’s soccer schedule (she added every game to her planner) that the team has a home game on Saturday evening. She’s not sure what Ashlyn’s game day ritual is but she figures she could at least spend the night with her on Friday and leave her to do team stuff on Saturday morning. Ashlyn said that Ali can stay anytime she needs so on Friday night, she fires off a text to Ashlyn. 

 

_ Guess who’s having someone over tonight _

 

_ Holy shit. Again? At least she gave you a warning this time.  _

_ Alex is at Serv’s as usual so you’re more than welcome to stay with me again.  _

 

_ I’ll bring my own pajamas this time ;)  _

 

Ali feels guilty for lying. 

 

She’s never made a habit out of lying and considers herself an honest person so although it was just a little fib, it doesn’t sit right in her stomach. Even as she changes into pajamas and grabs her phone charger, she feels a little guilty for lying and considers backing out. 

 

“Going somewhere?” Hannah asks from where she’s reading a magazine in bed. 

 

“Yeah, I’m gonna stay at Ashlyn’s tonight,” Ali says.  

 

“The one next door to us?” 

 

“Well have fun,” Hannah says. “Good thing you don’t need to pack anything, huh?” 

 

“Yeah, it’s pretty convenient,” Ali grins. “Have a good night.”

 

With that, Ali takes her phone and charger and walks to Ashlyn’s room through their shared bathroom. She has to brush her teeth anyway and she figures it’s easier than going into the hallway when their rooms are connected but when she opens the door to Ashlyn’s room and finds Ashlyn changing, she realizes that maybe it wasn’t the best idea. 

 

Ashlyn’s back is to Ali as she slips out of a black sports bra and tosses it to the floor. Ali knows she shouldn’t watch but she can’t bring herself to look away as she stares at Ashlyn’s muscular back. Even from this angle, Ali can see that Ashlyn has an incredible body and her pulse quickens at the sight. 

 

Ali’s senior year of high school was focused on two things: preparing for college and understanding and accepting her attraction to both men and women. She tried a bunch of different labels before deciding that she feels more comfortable without a label because it makes her feel more free to go with what she feels at any given time. Understanding her attraction to women is still kind of new and while she’s more comfortable with herself than she was a year ago, she’s still a little self conscious sometimes. She wasn’t out in high school at all and now that she’s in college, she hopes to be a little freer with her sexuality. 

 

Ogling an unaware Ashlyn Harris is not the best way to explore her sexuality. 

 

She turns back into the bathroom and when she figures Ashlyn must have a shirt on, she knocks at the door frame to get Ashlyn’s attention. 

 

“You can come in,” Ashlyn says from somewhere within the room. 

 

Ali enters Ashlyn’s room again, this time finding Ashlyn at her desk wearing a Carolina soccer shirt. “Ready for your game tomorrow?” 

 

Ashlyn nods, some of the longer hairs atop her head falling into her eyes. She runs a hand through her hair to put them back in place and Ali can’t help but think about how attractive she is once again. She shakes the thought from her mind and lowers herself into the papasan chair in the corner of the room. 

 

“I’m so ready. It’s still non-conference but South Carolina is a damn good team so it should be good preparation for conference play. You gonna come?” 

 

“Of course,” Ali grins. “I have to see my favorite goalkeeper and the mysterious forward in action, don’t I?” 

 

“Only if you want to.” 

 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I mean, what kind of neighbor would I be if I didn’t go out and support you guys?”

 

“You can meet some of the girls after,” Ashlyn offers. “Stick with me and I’ll have you friends with the entire team in no time.” She’d mentioned the upcoming game via text a few days ago but Ali never mentioned that she plans on attending so this is a pleasant surprise. Between classes resuming and practice, Ashlyn hasn’t had nearly enough time to get to know Ali as she would’ve liked but they should be able to hang out after the game for a while and she’ll have Sunday off for rest and recovery and she wants to make the best of it. The other girls on the team are nice and are some of her closest friends but it’s important or her to nurture other friendships too. 

 

“Think I’ll get to see Alex for more than ten seconds at the game?” Ali asks. 

 

“That’s probably a safe bet because it sure as hell isn’t going to happen here,” Ashlyn laughs. “Like I said, I basically have this place to myself. Better than getting sexiled once a week, huh?”

 

Ali looks at Ashlyn in confusion for a moment before remembering her lie from earlier. She rolls her eyes dramatically and lets out an annoyed sigh. “Tell me about it.” She busies herself by picking at the skin under one of her nails for a moment before looking back up at Ashlyn. “So you get real crazy the night before games?” 

 

“Oh yeah, you thought the night before practice was bad,” Ashlyn says. “The night before games I’m asleep by eleven. I promise I’m more fun when we have days off.” 

 

“Don’t worry, I love a good quiet night in,” Ali says. What she wants to say is that she likes spending time with Ashlyn. She likes getting to know her in these quiet, intimate moments without any pressure. But she’s never that forward with her feelings so she settles for assuring Ashlyn that she doesn’t mind hanging out in her dorm. 

 

Since she’s only recently begun to understand her attraction to women, she’s not exactly sure what her type is or if she even has a type. She does know, however, that she likes spending time with Ashlyn and that she wants to get to know her as a friend. She’s met a lot of new people this week but hasn’t clicked with anyone as well as she’s clicked with Ashlyn and for now, that’s enough. 

 

It’s enough to spend quiet nights in Ashlyn’s dorm. 

 

It’s enough to stay up talking about their lives and their classes until Ashlyn absolutely has to go to bed so she’s well rested for practice or her game.

 

It’s enough to know that they just click, that they have an ease to their budding friendship. 

 

It’s enough to know that Ali already has someone she can turn to so far away from home. 

 

They go to bed early that night and this time, Ashlyn doesn’t fight their closeness. They both know what they’re getting into when they share a twin bed. Instead of sleeping with her back pressed against the wall, Ashlyn sleeps with her front pressed against Ali’s back and an arm draped loosely over Ali’s waist. Ali’s hair smells like apples and a little bit of mint and Ashlyn can’t get enough. 

 

~

 

Ashlyn is in game day mode as soon as she wakes up in the morning. Ali is already awake and scrolling through her phone so when she feels Ashlyn stir behind her, she rolls over to face Ashlyn with a big grin on her face. “Morning,” she says brightly. “I’m so excited to see you play today. Wait, are you going to play?” 

 

“I think so,” Ashlyn says. “We have a pretty regular rotation and I’m next up. Is that what has you so smiley this morning?” 

 

“That and I just got a text from one of the girls in a sorority I want to join that she thinks I should rush this year.” 

 

“A sorority, huh?” 

 

Ali nods, a little unsure of how to read Ashlyn’s reaction. She definitely doesn’t seem like the sorority type and she loves to tease so Ali is a little worried that she’s about to make fun of her. Instead, Ashlyn just tells her that she should go for it. 

 

“You think so? I thought you were gonna make fun of me, not gonna lie.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs and moves to brush some hair out of her eyes. “Just because it’s not my thing doesn’t mean it can’t be yours. I like to give you shit sometimes but I can tell this is important to you. Having so many teammates is enough for me but I can see why you would want to get involved this way and make some friends who aren’t me.”

 

“Hey, even if I’m accepted I still want to be friends with you. You have to get me in good with the rest of the soccer team, remember?” 

 

“Speaking of, I have to go meet them for breakfast,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali nods and climbs down from Ashlyn’s bed, allowing Ashlyn to follow her down. “Thanks for sharing your bed again. I’ll see you tonight.” 

 

“I’ll be the cute one in goal.”

 

“So confident,” Ali teases. 

 

Ashlyn shrugs, a smirk on her face. “Wouldn’t be able to do what I do if I weren’t confident.” 

 

As soon as Ali disappears to her own room through the bathroom, Ashlyn starts her game day ritual. She wears the same shirt every morning before games so she changes out of her blue and white Carolina soccer shirt and into the grey and blue version. 

 

When she’s ready, she meets her teammates at their favorite diner, the one they all eat breakfast at before home games. It’s more crowded than usual now that school has started but the owners always know when to expect the team so there are already two long tables ready for the hungry athletes. Today, Ashlyn ends up sitting with Sydney, Kelley, and Whitney which always makes for a pretty interesting group. 

 

Ashlyn’s teammates know better than anyone else that she’s not really a morning person so when she settles into her chair with a too big smile on her face for eight in the morning, they’re immediately suspicious. Unfortunately, none of them need to look at the menu so they have time to question Ashlyn until their waiter comes around. 

 

“Did you get laid last night or something?” Sydney asks. 

 

“What? No,” Ashlyn says. “What makes you think that?” 

 

“You’re more cheerful than you usually are in the morning. So you either got laid or found a twenty on the ground in the parking lot.” 

 

“Are those really the only two options?” Ashlyn asks, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Pretty much,” Syd laughs. 

 

“Well if you must know I hung out with Ali last night,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Is that the girl you haven’t stopped talking about for the last week?” Whitney asks. She’s one of Ashlyn’s closest friends on the team so she’s definitely heard about Ali and how she spent the night last weekend but Ashlyn doesn’t think she’s talked too much about her new friend. 

 

“I haven’t talked about her that much.” 

 

“Yes you have,” Kelley says. Ashlyn shakes her head in disbelief, prompting Kelley to stand up and get the rest of the team’s attention. “By a show of hands who has heard Ashlyn talk about this Ali girl this week,” she says. 

 

Nearly three quarters of the team raises their hands. 

 

“Anyway,” Ashlyn says as Kelley sits back down. Many teammates are still looking in their direction but soon lose interest and go back to their own discussions. “Her roommate had someone over again last night so Ali stayed with me.” 

 

“And you got laid,” Kelley says. 

 

“We just hung out,” Ashlyn replies. “She’s coming to the game today.” 

 

“I can’t wait to meet your girlfriend,” Syd teases, eliciting an eye roll from Ashlyn. 

 

“Just a friend.” 

 

“Whatever you say, honey,” Kelley says with a wink in Ashlyn’s direction. 

 

~

 

With her homework already completed, Ali doesn’t have too much to do before the game so she decides to try to make some inroads with her preferred sorority, Kappa Delta. She met some of the girls at the activities fair and exchanged numbers with Heather, the chapter president who seemed to take an interest in Ali. 

 

Given Carolina’s history, Ali figures that women’s soccer must be pretty popular on campus so she texts Heather and asks if she’s free to attend the game that night. She figures it’s probably a long shot and that someone like Heather won’t have time to attend a soccer game with a freshman so she’s pleasantly surprised when Heather agrees and mentions that she’ll ask some of the other girls if they want to attend as well. 

 

Ali is more nervous than she’s ever been when she arrives at the Kappa Delta house to meet with Heather, Becky, and Allie but the girls instantly put her at ease with their promise that soccer games are always a fun time. They all pile into Heather’s car and when they arrive, they find seats near the front of the student section. 

 

“Number 5 is in some of my classes,” Heather says, pointing to Kelley on the field. “She’s funny as hell. Do you know anyone on the team or are you just interested in the sport?”

 

“Ashlyn and Alex live in the dorm next to mine,” Ali explains. “My roommate has already sexiled me twice so I’ve crashed with them.” 

 

“Which ones are they?” Heather asks. 

 

Ali knows she’ll find Ashlyn in goal so it takes no time at all to find her wearing a jersey bearing the number 24. Alex is a little harder to spot because Ali has only met her once and she blends in with some of the other players as they warm up across the field but finally Ali spots her wearing number 13. 

 

“Apparently those are two of our biggest recruits this year,” Heather says. “Kelley’s so excited about them.” 

 

Ali smiles proudly as she watches Ashlyn warm up with the other goalkeepers and their coach. They don’t go all out for warmups but Ali can see Ashlyn’s talent. She’s fearless in goal which is the same mentality that drew Ali to her in the first place. She doesn’t hold back on or off of the field and Ali finds it incredibly endearing. 

 

North Carolina wins 3-1 on goals from Julie, Alex, and Kelley. It was almost a clean sheet for the Tar Heels but the visitors managed to put one by Ashlyn in the waning minutes of the second half. Even from her place in the stands, Ali can see the frustration in Ashlyn’s body language when Ashlyn gets off of the ground from her failed attempt to stop the goal. 

 

“It’s okay, Ash,” Ali mutters as she watches her friend throw the ball back towards midfield and put her hands on her hips as everyone gets ready for the restart. 

 

Ashlyn relaxes a little as the team sees the game out without conceding again but she has a long discussion with the goalkeeper coach as she takes the gloves and tape off of her hands. Once the two teams are done shaking hands and chatting with their coaches, some players head for the locker rooms while others go towards the stands to look for family and friends. Ashlyn is part of the latter group and appears to scan the student section as she makes her way over. 

 

Ali calls Ashlyn’s name four times before Ashlyn finally hears and lights up in a massive grin. She jogs over to Ali’s end of the student section as Ali, Becky, Heather, and Allie climb down to the front row of the section. 

 

“You guys were amazing,” Ali gushes as she leans in for a hug. 

 

“The last ten minutes weren’t so great but I’m pretty happy overall. I did have to make a few too many saves so hopefully we’ll work on defending as a team a little this week. That’ll definitely hurt us in conference play if we don’t get it together.”

 

“I liked seeing you make saves,” Ali shrugs. 

 

“Well as long as we’re keeping you happy,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

“Ali was telling us all about you during the game,” Heather chimes in. 

 

Ashlyn quirks an eyebrow and smirks as she looks at Ali. “Yeah?” 

 

“I just told them that you were really nice and let me crash with you. Heather is friends with Kelley so we were just talking about your crazy schedules.” 

 

“Speaking of Kelley, she’s having everyone over tonight for a party and you guys are more than welcome to come. It’s mostly going to be us teammates and a few other people but you should definitely come.” 

 

“I’d love to,” Ali says. 

 

“We’re in too,” Becky says. 

 

“Cool, I’ll text Al the address. See you guys later,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali watches Ashlyn jog off of the field along with some of the other stragglers. Other than their trip to the café, Ali has never spent time with Ashlyn outside of the comfort of Ashlyn’s dorm. She wants to make a good impression on Ashlyn and her team so she has Heather, Becky, and Allie drop her off at the dorms so she can get ready while they return to the sorority house to get ready themselves. 

 

Ali’s not sure what everyone else will be wearing so she settles on a pair of tight jeans paired with vans and a simple grey shoulder cut-out shirt. She applies a little extra makeup and smoothes her shirt as she waits for the Kappa Deltas to come pick her up. The longer she waits, the more she feels some of the nerves from earlier in the evening return and although she knows it’s because she doesn’t know what her and Ashlyn’s friendship looks like outside of this building, these two joined rooms, she manages to convince herself that it’s because she’s nervous to meet Ashlyn’s team. Twenty minutes before the Kappa Deltas are supposed to pick her up, Ali’s phone vibrates with a text from Ashlyn. 

 

_ You in your room? I just realized you could ride with me and Alex to Kel’s. Uber is on its way. _

 

_ Yeah, I’m here. Want me to come over?  _

 

_ Always :)  _

 

Ashlyn’s response puts a smile on Ali’s face and when she walks into Ashlyn’s dorm through the bathroom (she makes sure to announce her presence this time), her nerves finally quell at Ashlyn’s smile. Alex is in there getting ready too and although Ali is excited to see the forward and maybe get to know her a little too, she only has eyes for Ashlyn. 

 

“Ah, so this is what you wear when you’re not in pajamas,” Ashlyn says. “You look great.” 

 

“And this is what you wear when you’re not in soccer t-shirts and shorts,” Ali replies. She looks Ashlyn up and down, taking in her outfit of black cargo pants and a red and black checkered flannel. She’s about to say something more when Alex turns around and smiles at Ali. 

 

“So you’re the one who’s been keeping Ash company while I’m with Serv. I’ve heard great things.”

 

“Likewise,” Ali grins. “Amazing goal today.” 

 

“It was pretty sick, wasn’t it?” Ashlyn says. “And now we have the day off tomorrow so we can have fun tonight.” 

 

Ali has no idea what she’s gotten herself into.  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the wonderful response to this new fic i'm glad you're all as excited about it as i am :) i have a lot of plans for this one so it should be pretty long
> 
> as always, I'd love to know your thoughts, predictions, favorite parts, etc. it helps me learn what you like and dislike so i can make future chapters better


	3. Chapter 3

 

When the Uber arrives, Ali and Alex slide into the back seat while Ashlyn takes the passenger seat. As they buckle their seatbelts, Ali is a little disappointed not to be sitting next to Ashlyn but Alex got into the car first so there wasn’t really another option short of making Alex move.

 

The drive takes no more than ten minutes but somehow Ashlyn and their driver manage to dive right into a discussion about some band Ali has never heard of but both Ashlyn and Connor seem to love. Ali’s not even sure how they discovered this mutual love but she finds it incredibly endearing that Ashlyn can instantly connect with people. She’ll probably never see Connor again yet she bonds with him over this commonality nonetheless. 

 

Like the first night Ali showed up at Ashlyn’d door, this is a sure sign of Ashlyn’s character, of her ability to connect with anyone. In the short time they’ve known each other, Ali has experienced first hand just how freely Ashlyn gives kindness to complete strangers. 

 

In the most unexpected turn of events, Ali begins to feel grateful for her roommate’s hook up that second night at school. 

 

If it weren’t for Hannah, Ali might have only known Ashlyn in passing. She might be an acquaintance at best and although they’ve only known each other for a week, Ali already can’t imagine what her college experience would be like without Ashlyn. 

 

Their destination is an old two story house with plastic lawn chairs and potted plants on the spacious porch. A string of clear lights is wrapped around each of the two wooden posts by the stairs and light the way to the party inside.  

 

“Have a good night,” Ashlyn says to the driver as she gets out of the car. 

 

“You too. Make sure you check out those other bands I told you about.” 

 

As Connor drives away, Ashlyn turns to Ali and grins while Alex makes her way inside. “He was so cool.” 

 

“How do you do that? I’m always so awkward in situations like that.” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs and wraps her arm around Ali’s shoulder for a moment. “Honestly, I just think about how I would feel if it were me, you know? Like, you pick people up in groups and they all know each other so they talk and completely ignore you. I figure there’s always common ground somewhere and it makes it less awkward for everyone involved. Speaking of new people, are you ready to meet the team?” 

 

“Why do I have a feeling I should’ve had a glass of wine first,” Ali mumbles as Ashlyn leads the way inside. 

 

It’s only the second party Ali has been to since arriving on campus but she immediately knows that it’s pretty tame for a college party. To start, she notices that everyone is either drinking beer, wine, or cider and no one (at least as far as she can tell) is drinking hard liquor. She assumes it’s because they’re in season and her suspicions are confirmed when she overhears someone making sure no photos with alcohol end up on social media where their coaches might see. 

 

Ashlyn leads Ali around and introduces her to everyone and although Ali tries to commit every name to memory, it’s a little difficult with so many new people. She commits Whitney’s name to memory because Ashlyn introduces her as one of her best friends on the team and she remembers Julie from the goal she scored earlier in the evening but other than that, many of the girls blur together. 

 

By the time Ashlyn finally introduces her to Kelley and Tobin while they’re chatting with Alex, her brain is on overdrive and she almost misses when Kelley mentions that Ashlyn has been talking about her the last week. 

 

“She has?” Ali asks. 

 

Kelley nods, a sly grin on her freckled face. “She keeps talking about how cool and funny you are. I think the most excited I’ve ever seen her was when she said you were coming tonight.” 

 

Ali sneaks a look at Ashlyn who appears to be mortified so Ali decides to take it easy on her. It’s clear she gets enough teasing from her teammates so the least she can do is make this less awkward for Ashlyn. “Well the feelings are mutual. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her the night I walked in on my roommate.” 

 

“Yeah, I heard about that. You gotta get revenge on this girl.” 

 

“That’s what I said,” Ashlyn exclaims. “Teach her to give a heads up. Besides, would it really be college if you didn’t permanently scar your roommate at least once? Or your teammates,” she says with a pointed look at Kelley. 

 

“It’s not my fault you came looking for me,” Kelley shrugs. She lifts her red plastic cup to her lips and takes a long sip of beer as Ashlyn turns to Ali to explain so she doesn’t feel left out. 

 

“My first party here over the summer was with a few other student athletes. Kelley here hooked up with a softball player and I was the poor soul who was sent looking for her so she could get home with her roommates. In hindsight, I think they knew what she was doing and that’s why they sent the poor innocent freshman.” 

 

“Innocent my ass,” Kelley laughs. “I’ve heard your stories.” 

 

“I know your stories,” Alex adds. 

 

“Oh, there are stories,” Ali teases with an eyebrow raised at Ashlyn. “Do I get to hear these stories?” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs and runs her pointer finger around the mouth of her cup with a guilty look on her face as she holds Ali’s gaze. “Maybe.” 

 

“Just one,” Ali says. She sticks her bottom lip out and bats her eyes a little, her usual way to get what she wants from people. 

 

It works. 

 

“All I’ll give you is that my junior year prom date went all out and rented a limo for just the two of us and we may or may not have had sex with the divider up on the way to prom.” 

 

“Oh my God, I remember that,” Alex laughs. “I had to fix your hair when you finally got to prom.” 

 

“Whoa, I’ve never heard that one,” Tobin says. “That’s probably more difficult than having sex in the freshmen dorms.”

 

“Yeah, have you tried that yet?” Kelley asks. “It’s like a rite of passage.” 

 

“No, I haven’t. But I will,” Ashlyn says with a sly smile as she sips her drink. 

 

Ashlyn sticks by Ali’s side the entire night. She seems to sense that Ali is a little overwhelmed with how loud and close the team is so she doesn’t stray too far from Ali’s side. Even when someone decides to start a game of never have I ever, Ashlyn sits right next to Ali in the circle with their drinks in front of them. Even the Kappa Deltas join the game and by Ali’s count, there are 16 people participating in the game while others just stand around and chat. 

 

The game starts pretty broadly, with the first statements being “never have I ever been pulled over” and “never have I ever cheated on a test” but soon the statements get more personal and more targeted at specific people. 

 

The more sexual the statements get, the more conscious Ali is of every sip Ashlyn takes. It’s certainly not a surprise that Ashlyn drinks to “never have I ever had sex with a girl” and it’s even less of a surprise when she drinks to “never have I ever kissed a girl” (to which at least half of the players in the game drink). 

 

It’s not a surprise so why does Ali’s pulse quicken at this new knowledge about Ashlyn? 

 

As the teammates pester Alex for the story behind her drinking to “never have I ever kissed a girl” (turns out, it was a game of spin the bottle in high school, a story that Ashlyn corroborates), Ali is lost in her own world. 

 

For the second time this evening, she feels grateful to know Ashlyn. By now, she understands (and mostly accepts) her own sexuality but the thought of being open with it still scares her. Ashlyn seems to have no inhibitions and Ali thinks that Ashlyn could be a source of support as she learns to love this part of herself.

 

Ashlyn, meanwhile, is just as focused on Ali’s responses as Ali was on hers. 

 

Ali drinks to some statements, including some sexual ones, but when Julie and Whitney target the gay and bi players by saying they’ve never done sexual things with women, Ali doesn’t drink. Ashlyn didn’t necessarily think that she would but Ashlyn feels dejected nonetheless. She hasn’t even made a move on Ali but she feels like she’s been turned down. 

 

It feels like everything hinges on Ali not drinking to those statements so Ashlyn never considers the fact that Ali likes women, she just hasn’t acted on it yet. 

 

If someone were to state something about being attracted to women, there would be a little more clarity. Ali would drink along with Ashlyn and several of her teammates and that would be that. As it stands, however, Ali’s drink remains untouched on the floor in front of her crossed legs until Tobin takes the game in a different direction. 

 

The game disbands at some point during the second time around the circle. Kelley and Sydney are the first ones out of the game when the finish their drinks. They’re followed closely by Ashlyn and with three of the biggest personalities out early, no one seems too motivated to continue the game. 

 

With Ashlyn out of the game fairly early and her story from junior prom, Ali begins to wonder what kind of reputation she has. It’s not her place to say anything, of course, but she is curious about who Ashlyn is when they aren’t spending quiet nights in her dorm. 

 

When she slips away to refill her glass, Alex is the only other one in the kitchen and Ali’s curiosity gets the best of her. “So Ash and Kelley were out of the game pretty quickly.” 

 

“Yeah, that tends to happen when the straight players start targeting them,” Alex shrugs. “They know they’re easy to beat because they have to drink to generic sexual and romantic statements as well as ones that specify with women. I never do it because I’ll have to drink because I kissed a girl before.” 

 

“I was hoping to hear more of Ashlyn’s stories during the game,” Ali says. “There’s a lot I don’t know about her.” 

 

“She has some good ones but don’t let it fool you, she’s one of the sweetest, most caring people I know. She’d do anything for the people she loves.” 

 

“Yeah, I get that impression,” Ali says, trying to control her grin. “Not many people would offer to share their bed with a stranger. I guess maybe if she thought she was gonna get something out of it but she was super sweet and respectful.” 

 

“I don’t think she ever would’ve tried to take advantage of you like that. If you’d met at a party she might have hit on you but definitely not like that.” 

 

“She’s a pretty good friend, huh?” Ali asks. 

 

“The best.” She looks like she’s about to say something more but just as she opens her mouth to speak, Kelley comes into the kitchen to tell Alex that their song came on shuffle and they need to go dance. Ali follows them back out into the living room and easily finds Ashlyn talking to Whitney on the couch. 

 

Ashlyn grins as Ali approaches “There she is—we were beginning to think Alex was hazing you or something.” 

 

“No, no, she’s really cool,” Ali says. Ashlyn scoots closer to Whitney on the couch, allowing Ali to squeeze in between Ashlyn and the armrest. 

 

“So are you having fun?” Ashlyn asks, leaning close and speaking only loud enough for Ali to hear. 

 

“Yeah, your teammates are really cool and I’m glad the Kappa Deltas are having fun,” Ali replies. She looks over to where Heather, Becky, and Allie are mingling with Ashlyn’s teammates. The fact that they agreed to spend their night at a soccer game and then at this party with Ali gives her hope that she’ll be accepted as a new pledge. “I really hope they pick me.” 

 

“They’d be crazy not to,” Ashlyn says. “You’d be a big catch for any sorority because you’re smart and beautiful and you work hard and care about others. If for some reason they don’t select you, I’m sure any other sorority on campus would absolutely love to have you.” 

 

Truthfully, Ashlyn is not even sure the Kappa Deltas deserve Ali. From what she’s heard, they’re one of the best sororities on campus but Ali is so… Ali. She’s everything these sororities should be looking for and then some. 

 

They stay close together on the couch even when Whitney and Julie vacate the couch. Ashlyn could move down a little to give them both more space but she likes being close to Ali and Ali doesn’t seem to mind so Ashlyn stays put.  

 

Ashlyn’s not sure how much wine Ali drinks but she ends up being the drunker of the two, despite her not drinking as much as Ashlyn during never have I ever. The more Ali drinks, the more affectionate she gets which Ashly realizes might explain why Ali was so cuddly that first night she showed up at her door. She’s not just affectionate with Ashlyn, though. She’s affectionate with everyone. 

 

She takes a liking to Syd and Alex in particular and if Ashlyn didn’t know better, she’t think they were best friends based on how touchy they’re all being. As they dance and chat about who knows what in the middle of the living room, the three of them always seem to be touching each other in some way. 

 

At some point in the night, Ali ends up having a heart to heart with Heather who later confesses privately to Ashlyn that Ali is her favorite potential pledge. She makes Ashlyn promise not to tell Ali because the pledging process is supposed to be secretive and full of surprises but as president of Kappa Delta, she’s made it her mission to ensure that Ali is accepted. 

 

Ashlyn’s heart swells with pride. 

 

She knew Ali didn’t have anything to worry about but to hear the president of Kappa Delta gush so much about Ali is truly wonderful to hear. The best part of it all, however, is when she imagines just how excited Ali is going to be. 

 

She imagines what it’ll be like when Ali tells her. Ashlyn is all but certain that Ali’s eyes will light up and she’ll smile with her tongue poking through her teeth a little in the most adorable (at least in Ashlyn’s opinion) way. 

 

Ashlyn can’t wait for that moment. 

 

She can’t wait to share in on what is sure to be the first of many accomplishments of Ali’s college career, to see the joy on Ali’s face when she gets to join her dream sorority. 

 

Just after 1:00 in the morning, the party is still in full swing but Ali is more than a little drunk and decides that she wants to go home. She certainly had her fill for the night and although she was having an amazing time, she knows her own limits. Ashlyn is never really one to leave a party early and if it weren’t for Ali, she’d probably end up crashing on the floor with Alex. But Ali is pretty adamant about leaving and Ashlyn wants to make sure she gets home safely. 

 

This time, Ashlyn sits in the back seat with Ali. She tries to chat with the driver but Ali is drunk and affectionate and Ashlyn loses her train of thought more times than she can count. Though the back seat is rather spacious for just two people, Ali sits as close to Ashlyn as possible just as they sat on the couch at Kelley’s. Then she puts her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder and Ashlyn wonders if she could pay the driver extra to drive them around campus for a while longer. 

 

It’s a beautiful and clear fall night. The stars and moon shine brightly in the sky and there’s a beautiful woman with her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. 

 

It doesn’t--can’t--get better than this. 

 

Though they haven’t been able to see each other much during the school week, they’ve texted quite a bit and have grown closer. There’s still so, so much they need to learn about each other--about themselves, even--but Ashlyn feels this is the start of beautiful things to come. 

 

When they arrive back at the dorms, she offers her hand to help Ali out of the car. 

 

Ali is particularly chatty as they make their way to their floor. She rambles on and on about how much fun she had and how much she loves Ashlyn’s teammates and the Kappa Delta girls. It’s not even so much of a conversation as it is Ali excitedly talking at Ashlyn without giving her time to respond to anything but Ashlyn doesn’t mind--she likes seeing Ali this happy. 

 

Like the car ride, the walk to their rooms is far too short. They pause outside Ali’s door and Ali searches through her purse for her key. When she finally finds it, she holds it in her hand and looks up at Ashlyn. “Thanks for walking me to my room,” she says. 

 

Ashlyn can’t help it, she lets out a chuckle. “Well my room is right there,” she says, pointing at her door just feet away. “I kinda had to walk by yours anyway.” 

 

Ali giggles and Ashlyn is hit for what must be the fifth time tonight just how adorable Ali is. 

 

“I’m drunk but you know what I mean. You’re just so nice and I’m kinda happy that my roommate is a fucking asshole and I got to meet you.” 

 

“She’s not that bad,” Ashlyn says. “But thank you.” 

 

There’s an awkward pause as they both stand there looking at each other for a moment. Ashlyn bounces up and down on her toes slightly, wishing this didn’t have to end. Finally she digs her own key out of her pocket. “Do you need anything before I go to my room?” 

 

“Will you stay with me?” Ali asks, batting her eyelashes a little in the way she’s already discovered Ashlyn falls for every time. “I don’t like being alone when I’m drunk.”

 

There’s no way Ashlyn can say no. 

 

“Well I don’t want to disturb Hannah if she’s home so how about you stay with me again? Alex won’t be home tonight and there’s really no point in disturbing Hannah.” 

 

Ali grins and slips her key back into her purse. She follows Ashlyn a few steps down the hall and waits patiently as Ashlyn opens the door and allows Ali to enter first. “I’ll get you some clothes,” Ashlyn says as she locks the door again. 

 

Ashlyn easily locates a clean shirt and shorts for Ali in her dresser but Ali just takes the shirt and waves Ashlyn away with the shorts. These shorts are longer and looser than the ones Ali borrowed before and Ali scrunches up her nose in distaste. 

 

“Not my style,” she says. “I’ll just sleep in my underwear.” 

 

“You didn’t seem to mind last time,” Ashlyn notes as she keeps the shorts to sleep in herself and moves to find a shirt. 

 

“Last time I was wearing a thong.” 

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide and she feels her cheeks flush. Luckily, she’s facing away from Ali as she looks through her dresser so she purposefully takes longer than necessary to find a shirt and when she turns around, Ali is clad in just an oversized Carolina shirt and red and black floral boy short panties with lace trim. Ashlyn tries not to look, she really does, but she can’t help but watch as Ali walks into the bathroom to take her makeup off. Ali’s legs are long and toned and Ashlyn is simultaneously attracted to Ali and jealous that Ali has more muscular legs than she does. Ali’s butt peeks out the underside of her panties a little and when Ashlyn notices that, she forces herself to look away. 

 

_ This woman will be the death of me,  _ Ashlyn thinks. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't plan on updating today but it's ashlyn's birthday so it felt right. honestly, it's amazing that i was able to update from the grave after Ali's instagram post. hope you guys are all still breathing after that ;) 
> 
> shoutout to lauren again for basically peer reviewing all these chapters :) 
> 
> as always let me know what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

 

Ali sleeps on the inside of the bed that night so in the morning, Ashlyn decides to slip out while Ali is still sleeping to get coffee and bagels from the dining hall. She figures she can’t go wrong with asiago cheese so she picks up two of those with whipped cream cheese and two cups of coffee. When she returns to her room, Ali is still in bed but starting to stir. She’s closer to the railing now that Ashlyn isn’t occupying that space so Ashlyn stands on her toes and gently brushes some hair from Ali’s eyes. 

 

“I have coffee and bagels,” she says quietly. 

 

“Am I dead?” Ali asks, eliciting a soft laugh from Ashlyn. “I feel like I’m dead.” 

 

“That’s why I brought hangover food.” 

 

“Okay so I’m dead and you’re an angel.” 

 

“Come on now, I thought you knew I’m not an angel by now,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

“You brought me coffee and food, sounds like an angel to me.” 

 

“It’s just dining hall coffee so don’t get too excited,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Okay so maybe not an angel but definitely a saint.” 

 

Ali finally moves from her spot in Ashlyn’s bed and climbs down the ladder to where Ashlyn has their breakfast on her desk. Ashlyn gestures for Ali to take her desk chair and crosses the room to roll Alex’s chair over for herself. She doesn’t expect Ali to wait for her but when she finally sits down, Ali’s food and coffee is still untouched. It’s such a small thing but it makes Ashlyn smile nonetheless. 

 

~

 

As the fall semester really kicks into gear, both are busy with their own activities. They always manage to carve time out of their busy schedules for each other, though, even if it’s just meeting for coffee in the morning. Ali’s favorite times with Ashlyn are when she spends the night so a few nights, she lies about Hannah having someone over. 

 

One morning, Ashlyn is brushing her teeth in the bathroom when Hannah walks in. They haven’t spoken much but Hannah is friendly enough so they greet each other with a smile after Ashlyn rinses her mouth out. 

 

“So Ali spends a lot of time in your room,” Hannah notes. 

 

Ashlyn narrows her eyes in confusion. Of course Ali spends a lot of time in her room. What else would she do when Hannah has someone over? “I guess she doesn’t feel like third-wheeling you and your guests.”

 

“What do you mean?” Hannah asks. 

 

“I’m not judging you or anything but you have guys over kind of a lot. So Ali comes to my room to give you some privacy.” 

 

“I’ve had, like, two people over and one of those times was after Ali already went to your room,” Hannah says. “Is that what she’s been telling you?” 

 

“I don’t know, maybe I misunderstood,” Ashlyn says. She’s pretty certain she didn’t misunderstand because there’s nothing ambiguous about Ali saying that Hannah is having a date over. She makes a mental note to ask Ali when they meet for coffee after Ali’s morning class and before Ashlyn and the team leave for their away game against Florida State. 

 

“Yeah, probably,” Hannah says. 

 

“Have a good day,” Ashlyn says as she leaves the bathroom so Hannah can shower. She still has about thirty minutes before she’s supposed to meet Ali at the Starbucks on campus so she takes the time to get dressed in her travel gear and finish packing everything she’ll need for the away game. 

 

The conversation with Hannah weighs on her mind as she busies herself with packing and when she takes her seat across from Ali at Starbucks, she knows she has to bring it up. 

 

“So I saw Hannah in the bathroom today,” she starts. “She made a comment about how you spend a lot of time in my room.” 

 

Ali instantly knows where this is going. She only lied about Hannah having someone over a few times and she felt more and more guilty for lying every time. She always figured it would come back to bite her eventually but she wanted to hang out with Ashlyn without being too obvious or needy as they built their friendship. 

 

“And of course I said that it’s because she has guys over a lot which she said isn’t true,” Ashlyn explains. She pauses and takes a sip of her coffee in the hope that Ali will explain herself. It takes Ali a moment but finally she sighs and looks down at her coffee instead of meeting Ashlyn’s eyes. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Ali mumbles. “I just wanted to hang out with you but we didn’t know each other that well and I didn’t want to be weird or clingy about it. You were so nice when it happened the first time and I just… didn’t think. Do you forgive me?” She looks up with at Ashlyn with those big doe eyes and even if Ashlyn wanted to, she couldn’t be mad. 

 

“I was never upset,” Ashlyn says. “I like hanging out with you too so you’ve could’ve just been honest about it but I’m not mad. We’re friends so you should never feel awkward about wanting to spend time together, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Ali grins. “I’m so nervous for tomorrow.” 

 

Tomorrow is the final day of rush week when she’ll finally learn if she’s received a Kappa Delta bid or not. She rushed for two different sororities but her heart is set on Kappa Delta and she knows she’ll be heartbroken if she doesn’t receive a bid. She’s attended every possible event and made all the connections within the sorority she could to better her chances. Now it’s completely out of her hands. 

 

Ashlyn, of course, knows that Ali’s chances are very, very good, if not guaranteed. Heather loves Ali and although Ashlyn doesn’t know much about how sororities work, she figures the chapter president probably has a lot of sway over the recruitment process. If Heather wants someone in Kappa Delta as badly as she seemed to want Ali, Ashlyn is certain that Ali has nothing to worry about. 

 

“You’ll call me, right? Our game is early so I’m sure I’ll be waiting for your call.” 

 

“I think you’ll be the first one I call,” Ali grins. “I’ll obviously call my mom at some point but you’ve been so supportive and I think you’re almost as invested as I am.” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “I just want you to be happy.” 

 

“You seem pretty sure I’ll get a bid,” Ali notes. 

 

“I’m positive you will. You’ve earned it and they’re gonna be so lucky to have you.”

 

~

 

Bid day is busy for Ali. She wakes earlier than normal so she has time to curl her hair and perfect her makeup before pulling on a simple black tank top, dark denim jeans, and black canvas slipons. When’s she’s ready, she meets up with a few other girls in her pledge class so they can all make their way to the bid day location together. Not all of them will receive a Kappa Delta bid, Ali is sure, but she’s pretty confident that she and Christen have a good chance. She figures Christen is a lock with her good looks, her intellect, and the way she carries herself and thanks to Ashlyn’s encouragement, she feels good about her own chances as well. 

 

When they arrive at the bid day location, Ali starts to feel nervous again at just how many people rushed this year. There are hundreds of girls looking just as anxious as Ali feels and although she knows that not all of them rushed Kappa Delta, she worries that the competition might be a little stiff. 

 

They quickly learn that each chair as a bid card on it, which are placed alphabetically by last name. They’re instructed not to open the card so when Ali locates her seat, she sits quietly with the card in her hands as the Rho Gammas begin to speak about what an excellent recruiting class this is. They talk about the importance of this decision and how it will shape their college experiences. When they’re finally done speaking, the Rho Gammas take off their neutral sweatshirts to reveal what sororities they belong to (only one, Kathleen, is a Kappa Delta) and finally, it’s time for Ali to learn her own fate. 

 

The Rho Gammas count to three and all the potential new members eagerly open their bid cards. Some are too nervous to look so they ask their neighbor to read their fate aloud. Ali simply takes a deep breath and opens her card. Inside, she finds bold black letters reading Kappa Delta next to the Greek letters of the sorority. 

 

She flips to the front of the card to make sure she has the right one before it finally sinks in that she’s been accepted into her dream sorority. She looks around at the crowd of young women, some of whom are ecstatic and some of whom are disappointed. The new pledge class is given a few minutes to let the news sink in before they’re directed to go stand under the large signs bearing the letters of their new sorority. There are 16 sororities on campus to it takes Ali a moment to scan the perimeter and find the Kappa Delta sign near a large oak tree. When she finally makes her way over, she’s unsurprised to find Christen there. 

 

“Congrats, Ali,” Christen grins as she pulls Ali in for a hug. 

 

“You too,” Ali says. “I can’t believe it.” 

 

Once they have all the new Kappa Deltas gathered, Heather and Kathleen announce that they’ll be walking to the sorority house just off of campus where they have brunch prepared and gifts for all the new bids. 

 

Now that Ali has been accepted as a bid, arriving at the Kappa Delta house is much less intimidating than it has been during the recruitment process. During the recruitment process, she worried if she belonged there and what the sorority sisters thought of her. Now that she’s been given a bid, she walks in with her head held high and an excited pep in her step. 

 

Everything happens in a blur. To start, the new bids are all greeted by current Kappa Deltas and given white and olive green gift bags with their names on them. Inside, Ali finds a grey t-shirt with Kappa Delta bid day 2017 in olive green and the Kappa Delta rose. There’s also a KD pen, a white pin with the Greek letters, and small card welcoming her to the sorority that’s been signed by the board members. 

 

She spends all afternoon mingling with her new sorority sisters and playing games to get to know everyone. She knows that Ashlyn’s game starts at 1:00 that day and while she normally watches whatever stream is available for away games, she knows it wouldn’t be a good look today. Her phone stays in her purse all afternoon and she stays focused on enjoying bid day, a once in a lifetime experience. When she’s certain that the game is over and that the team is back at their hotel, however, Ali takes her purse and heads to the bathroom. 

 

She calls Ashlyn on FaceTime and smiles when Ashlyn answers on the third ring. 

 

“Tell me, tell me,” Ashlyn says, almost as excited to hear Ali’s news as Ali is to tell it. 

 

“I got a bid,” Ali exclaims. “I’m a Kappa Delta. I had a good feeling because you were so confident in me but I still couldn’t believe it when I opened my bid card.” 

 

Ashlyn listens as Ali excitedly rambles about how bid day has been so far, all the while lost in thought about how adorable Ali is. Hundreds of miles away and looking at Ali though a crappy video chat connection, Ashlyn can see the excitement on her friend’s face and can almost feel the excitement radiating off of her. She wants to see Ali this happy every day. 

 

“I told you so, Al,” Ashlyn grins. “You’re incredible; I knew they were gonna see that.” 

 

Ali’s smile somehow grows wider. “Speaking of incredible, how was your game today? I’ve been doing bid stuff so I didn’t get to watch.” 

 

“We won 1-0. I didn’t play but I’m glad we won against a tough conference rival.” 

 

“That’s great, Ash. You’re all crushing it this year. But, hey, I should get back downstairs to do more bid day stuff. I’ll see you when you get home, okay?” 

 

“Yeah, you should come over tomorrow. We’ll be home in the afternoon.” 

 

“Can’t wait,” Ali grins. 

 

~

 

The pair decides to catch up over dinner the next evening so they meet in the dining hall when Ali gets back from another afternoon of Kappa Delta activities. 

 

“There’s my favorite sorority girl,” Ashlyn grins as Ali sets her tray down and takes the seat across from her. “How does it feel?” 

 

“So good,” Ali says. “They’re all so nice and the girls in my pledge class are awesome.” 

 

“I’m sure you fit right in.”

 

“I guess so,” Ali shrugs. “I’m still getting to know people so I feel a little awkward sometimes. Heather is really nice to me so that helps a lot.” 

 

“I talked to her for a bit at the party a few weeks ago,” Ashlyn says. “She’s super cool.” She doesn’t bring up that Heather all but guaranteed that Ali would receive a Kappa Delta bid. She doesn’t want Ali to think that’s the reason she believed in her so much because even without that confirmation from Heather, Ashlyn would’ve been just as certain about Ali’s chances so she decides that it’ll be best for her to keep that tidbit to herself. 

 

They talk about the pledge day activities and Ashlyn asks what’s coming next and listens intently as Ali talks about things like big little week and initiation, when she’ll officially join Kappa Delta. By the time they even start talking about Ashlyn’s game and the weekend with her team, their food is almost cold she they have to rush to finish eating. 

 

As they walk back to their dorms, Ashlyn looks over at Ali. “So should I invite you to hang out in my room or would you rather claim that Hannah has someone over?” 

 

“Stop it,” Ali whines. “I feel guilty enough as it is.” 

 

“Look, I get it,” Ashlyn says. “I’m just so fun and interesting that you couldn’t get enough.” 

 

“Oh and like you don’t enjoy hanging out with me? Don’t forget that I heard from your teammates how much you talk about me.” 

 

“I still can’t believe Kelley sold me out like that,” Ashlyn says, shaking her head.  “For real though are you gonna come over?” 

 

“I can but just a forewarning that I have to get some homework done.” 

 

“Yeah, I should work on mine too. I tried to do it on the way home but I can never concentrate when we travel.” 

 

When they arrive back at their rooms, Ali quickly changes into joggers and a t-shirt and gathers everything she’ll need in her backpack. When she goes to Ashlyn’s room, she finds that she has also changed into comfortable clothes and is sitting in the papasan chair with her math textbook and notebook in her lap and a pencil in her hand. 

 

“You can take my desk,” Ashlyn says. “I figure someone as studious as you prefers to do homework at a desk. I could use Alex’s but I’m not that picky.” 

 

“You know me so well,” Ali grins. 

 

Ali immediately gets to work. She pulls notebooks, folders, textbooks, her laptop, and more highlighter colors than Ashlyn knew existed from inside of her backpack and meticulously arranges it on Ashlyn’s desk. 

 

Ashlyn watches her every move. The more she learns about Ali, the more fascinating she becomes. Outwardly, Ali projects an aura of perfection. She gets good grades, is outgoing and involved with school activities, and she had a good childhood. But Ashlyn knows there’s more to Ali than meets the eye. 

 

She knows that Ali adores her brother but that she doesn’t talk about him much. When she does mention him, it’s in the past tense. Ashlyn wonders what the situation is but if she’s learned anything about Ali these last three weeks, it’s that she’ll open up when she’s ready. 

 

To some, Ali might seem closed off. Sure, she’s outgoing and friendly, but she doesn’t often share personal details about herself. Ashlyn respects that Ali is a private person and when she does learn something new about Ali, she feels lucky that Ali trusts her enough to share these parts of herself with her. She looks forward to the day when Ali trusts her enough to share everything knowing that Ashlyn will protect her secrets without judgement. 

 

As much as Ali is focused on her homework, Ashlyn is focused on Ali. The papasan chair is situated behind Ashlyn’s desk chair on an angle so Ashlyn can see Ali’s profile but she’s just outside of Ali’s peripheral vision. Sometimes when Ali turns her head slightly to check her notes on the right side of the desk, Ashlyn has to quickly look down at her own book and pretend to work until Ali faces forward again. 

 

One thought keeps running through Ashlyn’s mind no matter how hard she tries to shake it, to focus on something else. 

 

Ali is beautiful. 

 

Ashlyn already knew this, of course, but there’s something special about seeing Ali like this. There’s something special about seeing Ali makeup free with glasses on her face, her hair in a messy bun, and clad in sweatpants and the t-shirt she ‘borrowed’ from Ashlyn a few weeks ago. 

 

Not everyone gets to see Ali like this. In fact, this is only the second time Ashlyn has seen Ali’s glasses. 

 

“You should wear those more often,” Ashlyn says. “Your glasses, I mean.” 

 

“What?” Ali asks, swiveling in the desk chair to face Ashlyn. 

 

“You should wear your glasses more often. They look nice on you.” 

 

“Oh, thanks. I kind of hate wearing them but my contacts were bugging me tonight. Glad you like them.” 

 

“You could make anything look good.” 

 

“Please, and like you couldn’t?” Ali teases. 

 

Ashlyn doesn’t know what to say to that so after a beat of silence, she clears her throat and looks down at her textbook. When she’s sure Ali has turned back to her own work, she lifts her head and looks at Ali again. Ali seems less focused than she was before and Ashlyn wonders what she’s thinking about. 

 

Ali catches Ashlyn staring a few times and on the third time, she finally spins her chair back around to look at Ashlyn. 

 

“You’re not getting any work done,” she says. 

 

“I know, I know. I promise I’m trying but this is why I usually can’t work while we’re traveling because I love observing people. People watching is much more interesting than college algebra,” Ashlyn explains, eliciting a laugh from Ali. 

 

“I think it’s time to stop for the night anyway but next time maybe you should sit at Alex’s desk so you can’t see me. The more work we get done the more we can hang out and relax.” 

 

“You really are the smarter one in this friendship,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

“Someone’s gotta keep you in line,” Ali shrugs. She carefully puts her homework and supplies into her backpack. Ashlyn thinks she’s gonna go back to her own room but Ali simply zips her backpack and climbs the ladder to Ashlyn’s bed, making herself comfortable. “You coming?” 

 

Ashlyn grins and closes her textbook with her notebook inside to mark the page, tossing the book onto her chair when she stands. 

 

She settles into bed next to Ali and as has become their tradition, they face one another and talk well into the night. And Ashlyn falls a little more for Ali Krieger. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're all enjoying this slow burn. next chapter has a little more of ali's perspective, some advice from ashlyn's teammates (okay, one teammate in particular), and the start of some angst. Soooo given that, let me hear your predictions ;)


	5. Chapter 5

  
  


It doesn’t take long for Ali and Ashlyn to form an unspoken routine. Ali attends every home game she possibly can and watches available streams for away games. After home games, Ali spends time alone with Ashlyn or together with the team and after away games, Ali FaceTimes Ashlyn to congratulate or console her depending upon how the team played. 

 

Other times are spent studying in Ashlyn’s room or eating dinner in the dining hall or whatever off campus location they choose that day. They’re still both incredibly busy with their own activities but they carve out whatever time they can for each other, even if they only have time to do homework and sleep in Ashlyn’s bed. 

 

The best nights are binge watching nights. Mostly because these nights are rare because they’re usually so busy but also because they get to share their favorite shows with each other. 

 

For Ali, it’s important to share her love for  _ 30 Rock  _ with Ashlyn so one night, she brings her laptop up to Ashlyn’s bed. They sit together with their backs against the long wall surrounding Ashlyn’s bed with their feet out in front of them. They make it through the first four episodes that night and Ali constantly looks over at Ashlyn to make sure she’s enjoying the show. 

 

When they agree to take a break from  _ 30 Rock  _ for the night, Ashlyn decides that she wants to show Ali some shark documentaries. She’s passionate about the animals and wants to share her love with Ali just as Ali wanted to share her love of comedy with Ashlyn. 

 

After that, Netflix nights are an important and beloved part of their weeks. 

 

~

 

Ali’s Kappa Delta initiation happens to be scheduled the same day as one of Ashlyn’s home games. Fortunately, Ashlyn’s game is early in the day which should leave Ali enough time to get ready before she has to be at the Kappa Delta house in the evening. 

 

Ashlyn, of course, has to arrive at the game long before Ali does and when she leaves, Ali sneaks into Ashlyn’s room to steal a Carolina soccer shirt she’s had her eye on for a while. It’s a slightly form fitting v-neck and not necessarily Ashlyn’s style so Ali doesn’t feel too bad when she slips it over her head, pairing it with dark denim shorts, Carolina argyle knee socks, and black sneakers. 

 

Carolina wins by a score of 7-0 but the most exciting part in Ali’s opinion is the smile on Ashlyn’s face when she jogs to her team from the goal after the final whistle blows. She expects the best out of her team and herself everyday and today, everything came together for what is sure to stand as their biggest margin of victory of the year. 

 

When the team is done with cool down and talking to the coaches, Ashlyn jogs right over to where Ali usually sits in the student section. Ali goes against the flow of traffic leaving the game and makes her way down towards the field until she meets Ashlyn at the railing. 

 

“There’s my good luck charm,” Ashlyn grins when she spots Ali. “Oh and she’s wearing my shirt.” 

 

“How do you know I didn’t get this from the bookstore?” 

 

“It’s team issued so they don’t actually sell it you little thief.”

 

“Oh and you just love tight women’s cut v-necks,” Ali teases. 

 

“I love them on you.” 

 

They’ve gotten a little flirtier over recent weeks but Ashlyn doesn’t yet know that Ali is attracted to women (let alone that Ali is attracted to her) so she thinks Ali is just a friendly, flirty person. To Ashlyn, it’s just part of the nature of their friendship so she doesn’t think twice about her comment. 

 

Ali, on the other hand, thinks about it a lot. They don’t get much more time to talk because Ashlyn has to head to the locker room with her team and Ali has to go home to start getting ready for initiation. Ashlyn’s words run through her mind during her walk home and during her shower. 

 

Does Ashlyn like her? Does she want to be more than friends? Or was she simply teasing as she so often does? More importantly, does she want to be more than friends with Ashlyn?

 

Ashlyn is certainly attractive and Ali does like women but is it worth risking the friendship they’re building? If they try to be more than friends and fail then they would likely lose each other as friends which is the last thing Ali wants. Ashlyn makes her a better version of herself and right now, it’s important to have someone like that in her life. Ashlyn’s confidence rubs off on Ali and although they’ve never talked about sexuality, knowing Ashlyn has helped Ali begin to accept and love her sexuality more than she ever has before. 

 

Right now, that’s enough. 

 

Right now, all Ali needs to know is that Ashlyn is very quickly becoming her best friend. 

 

She’s not sure when exactly Ashlyn gets home from the soccer stadium but once she’s done blow drying her hair, she opens the bathroom door leading to Ashlyn’s room to see Ashlyn dancing around her room to Taylor Swift’s new song while eating a granola bar. 

 

“Cool moves,” Ali teases, laughing as she startles an unsuspecting Ashlyn. 

 

“No fair I didn’t know you were creeping on me,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Sorry,” Ali laughs. 

 

Ashlyn walks towards the bathroom and stands in the doorway as Ali starts doing her makeup for the night. “You excited for tonight?” 

 

“Extremely,” Ali says. “I’m a little nervous but Heather is my big so she’s been preparing me really well.” Last week was big little week at Kappa Delta. A week full of anonymous presents from new members’ bigs led to a reveal at the end of the week. Ali was hoping for either Heather or Becky as her big so she was thrilled when she got Heather and Christen got Becky. It’s the perfect combination and Ali is excited to officially become a member tonight. 

 

Ali has to wear a white dress for initiation so she decides to go with a light and natural makeup look and curls her hair into loose waves. When she’s ready to get dressed, she slips into her room which is empty because Hannah went home for the weekend. Ali’s dress is a flared shift silhouette with three-quarter length sleeves and a slight v-neck. She pairs it with a single pearl necklace on a sterling silver chain and small pearl earrings. 

 

“Hey, how does this look?” She asks, walking through the bathroom to Ashlyn’s room. 

 

“Someone cleans up well,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

“Really? You don’t think it’s too short? Online it looked like it would hit my knees but this isn’t even really close.” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs and purses her lips a little as she checks out the length of Ali’s dress. It just grazes her mid thighs, leaving the rest of her legs exposed. If it were an inch or two shorter, it might be a problem but she doesn’t think there should be an issue. “No, I still think it’s super classy. It looks beautiful on you.”

 

“Perfect, the two things I was going for: classy and beautiful.” 

 

“You definitely succeeded there,” Ashlyn says. “You staying at the house tonight?” 

 

Ali nods. “What are you up to tonight?” 

 

“I think I’m gonna hang with Kelley. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

 

“I’m not sure what time I’ll get out of there but I’ll let you know so I can tell you all about it, okay?” 

 

“Sounds perfect, have a good night.” 

 

Ali’s nerves return in full force as she and Christen arrive at the Kappa Delta house but in the end, everything goes perfectly and they become official members of the sorority along with the other girls in their pledge class. 

 

Ashlyn, meanwhile, meets Kelley for dinner at an Italian place just off of campus. Kelley is a sophomore and has helped guide Ashlyn through the transition from high school to college both on and off the field. She’s not sure what she would do without her and now that she’s falling for Ali, she needs Kelley’s advice more than ever. 

 

They start by talking about the team’s incredible performance earlier in the day but it doesn’t take long for Ali to come up. 

 

“So is Ali busy tonight? Gotta admit, I was a little surprised when you asked if I wanted to get dinner. Usually you’re with her.” 

 

“Yeah, she has her Kappa Delta initiation tonight.” She takes her straw wrapper from the table and starts toying with it, wrapping it around her pointer finger over and over again as her nerves start to consume her. 

 

“So what’s the deal there? Are you guys a thing?” 

 

“No, not even close,” Ashlyn says. “I think she’s straight.” 

 

“But you have feelings for her?” Kelley guesses. 

 

Ashlyn takes a deep breath and shrugs. She doesn’t want to admit it out loud yet because that’ll make it all the more real and hard to ignore but she does need advice and Kelley is well versed in dating women. 

 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes,” Kelley says when Ashlyn doesn’t reply. 

 

This finally breaks the dam. “She’s just so—I don’t even know—wonderful, I guess. She’s beautiful and funny and I feel like she gets me and doesn’t try to change who I am at all. She flirts with me a little and we cuddle in my bed sometimes so it’s kind of hard not to have feelings for her, you know?” 

 

“And you’re sure she’s straight?” 

 

“I’m pretty sure. It’s never come up and I feel like it would’ve if she weren’t. I really, really like her and I value her as a friend so I don’t really know what to do.” 

 

“I’m sure it is hard but you can’t let yourself fall for a straight girl. You know that’s not going to end well. So just commit yourself to being her friend and that’s really all you can do. Maybe put yourself out there a little to find someone who is interested.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right.” 

 

~

  
  


The older girls prepare brunch at the house the next morning so although Ali can’t wait to see Ashlyn and tell her about the night, they have to settle for meeting for dinner in the dining hall. 

 

Ali tells Ashlyn everything about the night, including the things she was sworn to secrecy about (she knows Ashlyn will never tell anyone). They once again have to catch up on homework from their busy weekends but by now it’s an unspoken agreement that they’ll both work in Ashlyn’s room. 

 

Ali loves their routines and finds comfort in the familiarity in Sunday nights spent doing homework in Ashlyn’s dorm. So when Ashlyn breaks with tradition the next week, it comes as a big disappointment. 

 

~

 

The following week, Ashlyn has an important group project in her sociology class. She and another girl in her group end up doing most of the work so when they finally finish the project on Sunday afternoon, they decide to ditch their other partners and celebrate in Ashlyn’s room. While Sam heads to the store to pick up beer with her fake ID, Ashlyn tidies her room a little to make it more presentable for a guest that isn’t Ali. 

 

Ashlyn is so focused on her relief that the project is finally over and preparing for Sam to arrive that it completely slips her mind that she and Ali usually get together to study every Sunday. That is, until she finally checks the time on her phone she sees a text from Ali. 

 

_ Are we studying tonight? I haven’t heard from you all day so let me know.  _

 

Ashlyn types her response before she can think better of it. 

 

_ Sorry been a little sick today. Raincheck?  _

 

She feels guilty the moment she hits send. She has absolutely no idea why she lied when she could’ve just told Ali that she’s having someone over. They’re just friends, after all, and Ashlyn has every right to spend time with someone else. Lord knows she and Ali spend nearly every free moment together. 

 

But if she doesn’t owe Ali anything then why did she feel the need to lie? Why did she need to hide the fact that she’s having someone else over? Someone who is cute and charming and has flirted with Ashlyn all week. Ashlyn’s not stupid, she knows where tonight is likely to go so maybe that’s why she didn’t want to tell Ali. 

 

She tries to convince herself that she doesn’t want Ali to judge her but deep down, she knows it’s because it feels a little like she’s cheating on Ali. They’re not dating but for some reason, Ashlyn feels a little wrong for being attracted to someone else. 

 

But then Kelley’s advice runs through her head. She’s already in deep enough with Ali and if she never tries to move on, she’ll continue falling for Ali with no way out short of cutting off ties (which she definitely doesn’t want). 

 

She absolutely loves her time with Ali but when it comes down to it, they’re just friends and since Ashlyn spends most of her free time with Ali, she’s been more than a little sexually frustrated recently. So she pushes Ali out of her mind and puts her phone on do not disturb, deciding she’ll make it up to Ali this week. 

 

Ashlyn doesn’t have to force herself to focus on other things for very long as Sam finally arrives with a six pack of beer and a six pack of hard cider. Sam pops open a Corona while Ashlyn opts for an Angry Orchard. 

 

“To carrying more than our weight,” Sam says, raising her bottle in a toast. 

 

“I’ll drink to that,” Ashlyn laughs. She clinks her bottle against Sam’s and takes a long, slow drink. 

 

Their conversation stays pretty safe early on and they mostly discuss the class and how they think they did on their project. Ashlyn is confident they did well considering the deadweight they had to deal with but Sam worries that they should've been more specific during certain parts of their write-up. The both agree, however, that they definitely helped their grades more than they could’ve hurt them and considering it was such a big project, they both consider it a success. 

 

The more they drink, the flirtier they get. Ashlyn still feels a little guilty but she reminds herself that she needs to move on from her feelings for Ali and this could be a big step even though she’s pretty certain it won’t go anywhere after tonight. Sam certainly isn’t Ali but she’s pretty enough and she’s actually interested in Ashlyn so Ashlyn forces all thoughts of Ali to the back of her mind once again and finally gives in to Sam’s advances. 

 

Kissing Sam is perfectly fine and the more they kiss, the more Ashlyn gets into it. By the time they end up in Ashlyn’s bed, Ashlyn has forgotten all about the brunette next door. 

 

~

 

Ali spends the night wondering about Ashlyn. Ashlyn is pretty tough so for her to be sick enough that she didn’t want Ali over to study is a little worrisome. She texts Ashlyn a few times to ask how she’s feeling but never gets a response so Ali figures she must be sleeping. 

 

She wonders if Ashlyn ate, if she has cold medicine on hand so she can at least feel a little better. 

 

Ali hasn’t been sick on campus yet but she can imagine that it’s more unpleasant than normal without anyone to take care of you like you’d have at home. With this in mind, she decides to be that person for Ashlyn. She quickly dresses herself and orders an Uber to take her to a little shopping complex just off of campus with a drugstore and a Panera. 

 

She’s not exactly sure what Ashlyn’s symptoms are so she selects a couple of different generic medications: cold and flu, sinus, and cough drops. She also gets a thermometer to check Ashlyn’s temperature and a vapor rub. Just before she leaves, she goes to the magazine aisle and picks out a tattoo magazine (Ashlyn always talks about her dream tattoos as soon as she has the money), a men’s fashion one, and a copy of National Geographic with a great white shark on the cover. 

 

When she’s finished at the drugstore, she walks to Panera and gets a bowl of chicken noodle soup and orders another Uber to take her home while she waits. 

 

She normally goes into Ashlyn’s room through the bathroom but since she’s already in the hallway, she decides to try Ashlyn’s front door. The door is locked and she’s about to knock when she hears the sound of someone’s moans from within the room. 

 

Ali jumps back from the door as if she’s been burned. And really, she has been burned. She stays rooted in her spot for a moment, unsure of what to do. Surely Ashlyn hasn’t lied to her, right? Certain she’s hearing things, she presses her ear to the door only to hear some girl moaning Ashlyn’s name. 

 

Hot tears spill from Ali’s eyes at the sound and suddenly, she can’t get into her own room quickly enough. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little cliffhanger never hurt anyone, right? 
> 
> what's gonna happen next? how do you see this being resolved? do you hate me?


	6. Chapter 6

 

Ashlyn lied.

 

After spending all night worrying about her ‘sick’ friend, all Ali wanted to do was take care of Ashlyn in any way she could. As it turns out, she had someone in her room taking care of her in a completely different way. They’ve grown close over the last six weeks so Ali’s not sure why exactly Ashlyn lied but she knows she doesn’t like it.

 

Red hot anger slowly turns into disappointment which turns back into anger until she can’t take it anymore. Luckily, Hannah is away for the weekend so she has the dorm to herself but even without a roommate in the way, the dorm feels too small to contain all the emotions she’s feeling. She paces the small room for nearly half an hour before she finally decides what to do.

 

She’s gonna make Ashlyn feel guilty.

 

It’s more than a little passive aggressive but she decides to leave the drugstore bag on the bathroom counter with a handwritten note for Ashlyn. She pretends not to know anything about what Ashlyn was actually doing, knowing that Ashlyn will feel bad about lying when she sees the medicine, magazines, and the note.

 

If she spent all night worrying about Ashlyn’s made up illness, Ashlyn can spend a little time feeling guilty over the trouble Ali went to in order to take care of her when she wasn’t sick to begin with.

 

Ali carefully sets the bag on the counter and puts the sticky note right where Ashlyn will see the next time she uses the bathroom. Everything is quiet in Ashlyn’s room now which is of little solace to Ali who does her best not to imagine another girl sleeping in Ashlyn’s arms like she usually does.

 

That thought alone makes Ali roll her eyes in disgust.

 

She doesn’t allow herself to think about why that thought disgusts her so much, to think about why, deep down, she knows this isn’t all about Ashlyn’s lie. She’s angry about the lie but her disgust and disappointment stem from somewhere else. Two rivers of emotion merging into one, she feels all three emotions in equal measure as she climbs into bed.

 

She feels only slightly better now that she has a way to get back at Ashlyn a little. The situation still really stings and they’ll certainly need to talk about it but for now, Ali is satisfied in making Ashlyn sweat a little.

 

She’s never been one to let people walk all over her and she’s certainly not going to start now.

 

~

 

The sex is fine.

 

It’s neither the best nor the worst Ashlyn has ever had and even if it was the worst, Ashlyn wouldn’t have minded. She’s been so worked up recently with her crush on Ali (just cuddling is really starting to get to her) but everytime she tries to take care of things herself, her mind goes to Ali and she feels so guilty for thinking of her that way that she can’t finish. Not only is Ali straight (or so Ashlyn thinks), she’s also one of her closest friends and thinking of her during those moments feels far too predatory for Ashlyn’s liking. Sleeping with someone else completely removed Ali from the equation.

 

That is, until they’re done and Ashlyn remembers her lie.

 

Sam is a little awkward after and can’t seem to decide if she wants to ask to stay or if she should leave so Ashlyn makes the decision for her. “That was fun, have a good night,” she says. “Do you want me to order you an Uber or something?”

 

“Oh, no, I live in the building.”

 

“Perfect,” Ashlyn grins. “Sorry, I might offer for you to stay but you know it’s impossible to sleep with two adults in a twin bed.”

 

“You don’t have to do that you know,” Sam says as she pulls her jeans back on. “You don’t have to pretend like this was more than it was. If you don’t want me to stay that’s fine. I had fun and you had fun and that’s all that matters, right?”

 

“Right.”

 

Ashlyn pulls her own clothes back on and awkwardly says goodbye to Sam, feeling like at least that part couldn’t have gone any better. With Sam gone, however, Ashlyn’s guilt returns in full force.

 

For something that was supposed to take her mind off of Ali, she finds herself thinking of Ali more than normal (which is already a lot). She wonders what Ali did that night, if she believed Ashlyn’s lie or if she saw through it. She wonders if she was lonely while they should've been studying together.

 

She knows she won’t be able to fall asleep anytime soon so she decides to strip her bed and take her sheets down to the building’s laundry room. Maybe if she washes her sheets, washes away the night, she won’t feel as guilty for lying to Ali like she did.

 

Just before she goes downstairs, she drops her sheets on the floor and goes into the bathroom. The lights in her room are still dim and the bathroom light isn’t on so she blindly finds the light switch and flicks it on. Four women (three, if you don’t count Alex) share the bathroom so there’s the usual clutter of products, makeup bags, and styling tools littering the too small counter. But there’s something a little unusual: a plastic bag with a sticky note on it.

 

Ashlyn instantly recognizes Ali’s handwriting.

 

_Ash,_

 

_Didn’t want to wake you. Hope this helps you feel better. <3 _

 

_Ali_

 

Her heart sinks. She feels guilty enough as it is but knowing that Ali went out of her way to get cold medicine and magazines for her is almost too much to bear. It’s such a sweet, thoughtful thing to do and if Ashlyn were really sick, it’d make her smile. But after lying the way she did, all it does is make her want to cry.

 

She does what she needs to do in the bathroom and takes the bag into her room where she tosses it into the drawer on her desk where she won’t have to see it. She knows she was a bad friend tonight and she doesn’t need a physical reminder of Ali’s thoughtfulness staring her in the face. Certain there’s no way she’ll be able to sleep now, she gathers her sheets from the floor and stuffs them into a laundry basket to take downstairs.

 

The laundry room is a little eerie at night. Almost all of the machines are quiet and empty so Ashlyn can take her pick even though they’re all the same. She contemplates texting Ali to thank her for the medicine and magazines but she figures Ali must be sleeping by now and she doesn’t want to wake her. Plus, if Ali sees her text, she might decide to come over to check on her and the last thing Ashlyn wants right now is to have to explain why she’s not in bed.

 

So she sits in silence, her thoughts as jumbled as the bedding spinning around in the washing machine.

 

Before she can even attempt to process her guilt, she tries to understand why she lied in the first place. Ali is her friend. They’re close, yes, but they’re not dating and Ashlyn has every right to have someone else over. Whether it was a sexual partner or not makes no difference to the fact that Ashlyn is an adult and can invite over whomever she wants whenever she wants.

 

She’s reluctant to admit to herself that she wishes it was Ali, that she lied because she felt guilty for being with someone other than Ali even though Ali isn’t interested the way Ashlyn is. Not only did Ashlyn blow off Ali on the day they both look forward to spending together every week, she did it by lying and that doesn’t sit right with her.

 

Then Sam acted like she might want to stay. Ashlyn didn’t mean to be rude and she’s fairly certain that Sam knew this wasn’t going anywhere after tonight but either way, she wasn’t about to let Sam stay the night. She needs to move on from her crush on Ali but after six weeks of cuddling together a few nights a week, it would’ve been strange to share a bed with someone else.

 

Someday but not today.

 

She watches the washing machine then the dryer spin around and around, the repetitive motion of the machines lulling her thoughts slightly. When the dryer buzzes, she double checks to make sure it’s all dry before taking everything back upstairs. She struggles to put the fitted sheet on and by the time she’s done, it’s nearly two in the morning and she knows she needs to get some sleep. Sleep doesn’t come easily, though, and when she finally does manage to fall asleep, she has a vivid dream that it was Ali she slept with.

 

With the sensations of Sam’s touch so fresh in her mind, the dream feels more like a memory than anything else. The only thing different is that it’s Ali she sleeps with. She snaps awake just before her dream self comes and she sits up in bed, panting and sweating a little.

 

This is not gonna help her get over Ali.

 

~

 

Ashlyn has practice the next morning and despite her late night, she’s awake before her alarm even goes off. She’s more than a little sluggish as the team warms up but it’s chillier than normal outside so the sting of the cold does a good job at fully waking her up. Unfortunately, not before Kelley notices how tired she is.

 

“Long night?” Kelley asks as they do their warm up jog around the field.

 

“Yeah, I, uh… listened to your advice.”

 

“Ooooh, Ash got some,” Kelley says, a little too loudly for Ashlyn’s liking. “How was she?”

 

“Fine, I guess.”

 

“You don’t sound too thrilled,” Kelley says.

 

“I lied to Ali. I don’t know why I did it but when she asked if we were gonna study like we usually do on Sunday I texted her back that I was sick.”

 

“You lied because you got it bad.”

 

“Don’t need to tell me that,” Ashlyn huffs. “When I went to the bathroom after--”

 

“Excellent hygiene,” Kelley teases.

 

“Jesus,” Ashlyn laughs. “Anyway, when I went to the bathroom after, Ali had left a bag of cold medicine and magazines for me with a note that said she didn’t want to wake me but she hoped it helped me feel better.”

 

“And since you lied, it made you feel worse,” Kelley guesses.

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Well, kid, I’m glad you took my advice but I think you need to talk to Ali. You won’t stop feeling guilty until you do.”

 

“Are you saying that I need to tell her what happened?”

 

Kelley shrugs. “How much you tell her is up to you. If you tell her that you lied but lie about why you lied or somehow try to skirt around it, will it actually make you feel better?”

 

“No,” Ashlyn admits with a glance down at her shoes as they continue to jog.

 

“Then you know what you need to do.”

 

~

 

No matter how many texts Ashlyn sends that day, Ali doesn’t answer. She asks if she can hang out that evening, if she wants to get dinner and still nothing. Ali is usually really good about texting back so the fact that she doesn’t respond is a little worrisome. Finally, Ashlyn decides to visit Ali’s room. She walks through the bathroom and finds Ali working at her desk with headphones on. She comes up behind Ali and taps her on the shoulder, causing Ali to jump a little.

 

“Jesus, Ashlyn, you scared me.”

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn says. “I wanted to talk to you.”

 

Ali doesn’t mean to say it, she really doesn’t, but she’s still annoyed and can’t control her mouth. “Did your friend finally go home?”

 

All the color drains from Ashlyn’s face at Ali’s words. “What do you mean?” she asks quietly, looking down at her shoes.

 

“Well after worrying about you for a few hours, I decided to go to the store to get you cold medicine and Panera to get you soup. When I got back, I heard some girl moaning your name when I went to give you your stuff. Sure as hell didn’t sound like you were sick.”

 

“Ali, I can explain,” Ashlyn tries. She’s not sure how she can explain given that she knows better than anyone that there’s no good explanation she can share with Ali at the moment but it’s worth a shot.

 

“Can you? Can you explain to me why you lied to me for no fucking reason? I don’t like that, Ash. Did you think I was going to judge you or something? Do you think I’m like that?”

 

“No, that’s not it,” Ashlyn says. “I don’t know why I lied, honestly. I wasn’t thinking and it happened before I could stop myself. It was shitty, I know.”

 

“Of course it was shitty,” Ali exclaims. “It was shitty and you had no reason to lie so not only does it hurt that you lied, it hurts that you don’t even know why you did it. We’re supposed to be friends and friends don’t do that.”

 

“I know.”

 

Ali takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She’s still angry, though, and she definitely needs to get the last word (it’s part of why everyone tells her she’ll be a good lawyer). “So how was it? Was she good?” she asks, her tone dripping with sarcasm and resentment.

 

“Why? Are you jealous?” For just a moment, she allows herself to hope that Ali might be interested in her and that she’s jealous that she hooked up with someone else. It’s a longshot, she thinks, but at this point in the argument, she doesn’t have much to lose.

 

Ali narrows her eyes in anger and disgust. “Jesus, Ashlyn, is your head really that big that you think I’m jealous of some random girl you hooked up with and not just fucking pissed that you lied to me, your friend? Honestly, with a head that big it’s amazing you could fit it between some girl’s thighs.”

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide in shock at Ali’s words. She figured Ali wasn’t jealous but Ali seems disgusted at the accusation and it makes Ashlyn feel worse. “Okay, God, sorry I asked. You sure sounded a little jealous.”

 

“Well I’m not, okay?” Ali snaps. Deep down, she knows Ashlyn has struck a nerve. She’s avoided thinking about her jealousy thus far but when asked a direct question about it, she can’t help but let it come to the forefront of her mind. “Can you just go? I’m really mad right now and I don’t want either of us to say something that’s going to ruin our friendship.”

 

“Fine,” Ashlyn says without emotion. She goes back to her own room, leaving a stunned Ali behind her.

 

After the argument they’ve just had, there’s no way for Ali to concentrate on her homework at the moment so she closes her laptop and climbs into bed. Though she tries to stop herself, she immediately starts crying with her head buried in her pillow.

 

Jealous.

 

Through all the other emotions she felt last night and this morning, this was the one she wasn’t quite able to put a finger on.

 

Of course, recognizing her jealousy requires her to finally, finally recognize that her feelings for Ashlyn run deeper than friendship. People don’t get jealous of their friend’s sexual partner without their feelings going deeper than friendship and Ali is without a doubt jealous of this other girl.

 

She has feelings for Ashlyn.

 

They’ve been there for a while, she realizes, but she’s always found a way to excuse them. Ashlyn is funny and charming so of course she wants to be around her. College is a lonely place and there’s no harm in friends sharing a bed to make it a little less lonely.

 

She likes women, she’s known this about herself for a while. She’s always recognized Ashlyn’s attractiveness but she never intended on falling for her, especially as they became close friends in such a short period of time. Ashlyn is her best friend at school and one of her best friends in general and she doesn’t want to mess anything up by starting something that might not work. It doesn’t help that she doesn’t have any experience with women yet and the whole thing is still a little scary, especially when she considers the experience Ashlyn has.

 

That night, Ali dreams about Ashlyn. She dreams that she was the one moaning Ashlyn’s name, not some random girl that Ashlyn doesn’t even care about. She’s so worked up in the morning that when she takes a shower before class, she touches herself and thinks of Ashlyn.

 

She thinks about Ashlyn’s body, toned from years of soccer and only getting more and more defined under direction of the college coaches.

 

She thinks about the way Ashlyn’s hair looks in the morning when it’s adorably messed up from sleeping. She thinks about how Ashlyn’s voice is softer and raspier in the mornings, how the sun streams in the window and makes her eyes look lighter than normal.

 

She’s as quiet as she can be but can’t help that when she comes, Ashlyn’s name tumbles off of her lips in a whisper.

 

She slumps against the wall of the shower to catch her breath and the realization of what she just did catches up to her. She’s not really embarrassed but she does worry about how she’ll face Ashlyn the next time she sees her. Maybe some time apart will do them both some good.

 

~

 

Ashlyn tries to get ahold of Ali all week but Ali doesn’t respond. Ashlyn understands that she fucked up but after she gets home from the away game on Sunday (during which she hadn’t heard from Ali for the first time since they met), she decides enough is enough. As soon as she’s back on campus, she drives to the nearest grocery store and makes her way to the greeting card aisle.

 

She finds a plethora of sympathy cards but only one apology card. It has a dog on the top half of the front and a cheerful yellow on the bottom, white text reading “something went wrong”. On the inside, she finds “and I think it was me. I’m sorry.” It’s not perfect but it’s her only option so she purchases the card and a $15 Starbucks card, figuring that if nothing else, a little bribery couldn't hurt.

 

When she gets home, she fills out the card, stuffs the gift card into the envelope, and slides it under Ali’s front door, hoping that this will finally break the ice that’s built between them in the last week.

 

~

 

Ali’s doing homework when Ashlyn slides the card under the door so she doesn’t notice anything until half an hour later when Hannah returns home from dinner with a friend.

 

“This is for you,” Hannah says, passing the envelope to Ali at her desk.

 

Curious, Ali tears into the card, staring at the image of a golden retriever on the front. It’s a pretty generic apology card but Ashlyn personalized it a little and although she’s still a little mad, Ashlyn’s message makes her laugh.

 

Right after “I think it was me”, Ali finds Ashlyn’s handwriting completing the sentence.

 

_Being a shitty friend and lying to one of the best friends I have._

 

At the bottom of the card is Ashlyn’s writing once again.

 

_You are an amazing friend and person and I’m sorry for being a jerk. Please forgive me I miss you._

 

_Ps. as it turns out, there aren’t that many apology cards so this’ll have to do. At least the dog is cute?_

 

_Ash_

 

Ali lets out a laugh despite herself and holds the card in her hand as she makes her way to Ashlyn’s room.

 

“She’s alive,” Ashlyn teases when she sees Ali for the first time in a week. “I knew a Starbucks card would get you.”

 

“No, it wasn’t that,” Ali says. “I missed you and I’m still a little mad but I said some shitty things too and I’m sorry.”

 

“Yeah, you’re pretty good at arguing. You should be a lawyer or something,” Ashlyn teases.

 

“You know, I never thought of that, I’ll have to look into it.” Ali laughs. “Can you just be honest next time?”

 

“You really think I would try to pull that stunt again after what happened?” Ashlyn laughs. “Of course I’ll be honest from here on out.”

 

Ali smiles and Ashlyn melts over how much she’s missed that smile the last week. If she’s learned one thing this week, it’s that Ali is her best friend and it doesn’t feel right when they’re not talking. She knows there will be more fights, more disagreements, but she’ll do everything in her power to avoid causing Ali pain like this again.

 

“So… Netflix night?” Ali asks.

 

Ashlyn grins and grabs her laptop from her desk. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think of that argument? not gonna lie, it was a lot of fun to write.  
> what do you think is gonna happen now that Ali fully realizes her attraction to ashlyn?  
> do you hate me less now that i resolved this issue quickly? :P


	7. Chapter 7

 

Though they made up, the week that follows is almost as distant as the last week, though this time it’s not by choice. Mid-October means midterms and the end of the regular season so both girls are busier than they’ve ever been.

 

With a mid-week game, Ashlyn has to make use of every possible moment of down time to study. She knows she won’t be able to do it on the road and she won’t get much done over the weekend either with another game on Sunday. There are only three games left in the regular season before the ACC then the NCAA tournaments so they’ve had extra practice sessions here and there which makes it even more difficult to find time to study.

 

Ali, meanwhile, is on a self-imposed lockdown. She’s mastered most of her material but she’s always nervous for big exams and she doesn’t know what to expect as a first semester freshman. On Wednesday evening, the night before her birthday, Ashlyn invites herself over to Ali’s room while she’s in the middle of studying.

 

“I miss you,” Ashlyn says. “It’s not fair that we didn’t talk for a whole week and now we can’t even hang out. Want to come study in my room?”

 

Ali thinks about it for a moment. She misses Ashlyn too and she does love their homework sessions together but this is more serious than just reading from a textbook and answering questions on a worksheet. There are study guides and class notes and re-reading sticky points and if Ali doesn’t do well, she worries that she might not get into law school in a few years.

 

“I would love to but you always distract me,” Ali says.

 

“I’ll be good, I promise.”

 

“You never behave,” Ali laughs. “You’re always making jokes or tapping your pencil or throwing bits of paper at me. We’ll hang out after midterms are over.”

 

“They don’t even start until next week,” Ashlyn protests. “Can you at least take a little break? Don’t forget it’s my birthday tomorrow and I have to leave at like 7am for our game tomorrow night and you won’t be able to see me.”

 

Ali checks the time on her phone and sees that it’s almost time to stop for the night anyway. Finally, she relents. She already has a plan in mind to celebrate Ashlyn’s birthday when she gets home but it can’t hurt to appease her right now. “Give me another hour or so, okay? I’ll come over. But we gotta go to bed early because I have a study group in the morning.”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Ashlyn says as she retreats into the bathroom to follow Ali’s example and study some more herself.

 

By the time Ali finally makes it to Ashlyn’s room an hour and a half later (she lost track of time), they don’t have much time to do anything other than get ready for bed. Ashlyn doesn’t mind, though. No matter what they’re doing she appreciates Ali’s presence so even though they don’t do anything but go to bed, she’s happy just to spend time with her favorite person.

 

They’re both asleep early that night but at midnight, Ali’s phone chimes quietly with an alarm. It wakes both of them but while Ashlyn looks confused and groggy, Ali knows exactly what it’s for.

 

“Happy birthday,” Ali coos.

 

“That’s why your phone is going off?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Yep. I wanted to be the first person to tell you happy birthday. Okay, back to sleep.”

 

Ashlyn’s smiling as she rolls over to fall back asleep.

 

They’re both up with the sun the next morning: Ali to go to her study group and Ashlyn to load onto the bus for a three hour drive to Virginia Tech for their game that evening. She’s a little bummed to be spending her birthday away from Ali but she’s sure they’ll do something special this weekend and if she can’t spend her birthday with Ali, spending it with her team is the next best thing.

 

As soon as she gets on the bus, Alex and Kelley put a birthday hat on her and the team sings a very sleepy rendition of happy birthday that Ashlyn captures on snapchat.

 

When they arrive at Virginia Tech, the team unloads for lunch, during which Ashlyn’s teammates talk excitedly about how they’re going to win for Ashlyn’s birthday.

 

While Ashlyn spends the day traveling to and preparing for her game that evening, Ali spends it studying and attending classes. She didn’t want to tell Ashlyn this last night but the reason she was so adamant about studying last night is that she carved out Friday to celebrate Ashlyn’s birthday when she gets home from Virginia and Sunday to attend the home game. With midterms starting Monday and ending next Thursday (at least for Ali since she doesn’t have a Friday class), she needed to get a lot done early this week to have time to spend with Ashlyn over the weekend.

 

Ali brings carry out to her room that evening and pulls up the game stream on her laptop. She usually texts Ashlyn observations during her away games (especially ones Ashlyn plays in) and tonight is no different. She texts her when she makes good saves and when it seems like Virginia Tech starts getting a little chippy. When the camera zooms in on Ashlyn during a replay, Ali can’t help but take a snapchat of Ashlyn on her screen. She adds a crown emoji atop Ashlyn’s head as well as a bunch of red balloon and confetti emojis to the image. Just as she’s about to send it to Ashlyn, she captions the photo with ‘favorite birthday girl’ in all caps and saves the photo to her phone.

 

Ashlyn can’t check her phone until after the game, of course, so Ali has almost forgotten about her snap until she gets a simple eye roll emoji as a response. Taking this as a sign that Ashlyn is done with official team stuff, Ali calls her on FaceTime.

 

“Hey, turn that down,” Ashlyn says, looking away from her phone as she answers.

 

From somewhere within Ashlyn’s hotel room, Ali can distinctly hear Kelley’s voice.

 

“Why? Is it your girlfriend?”

 

Ashlyn’s cheeks turn a little red and she clears her throat in embarrassment. “Ignore her.”

 

“Glady,” Ali teases. “So how was your birthday?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “We won so that was nice but I did have to wake up at 7 for a bus trip and I didn’t get to hang out with you.”

 

“Jesus," Kelley groans. "I’m going to Syd and Alex’s room. You have, like, ten minutes before we have to leave for dinner. Bye, Ali.”

 

“Late dinner, huh?” Ali asks as she hears Kelley close the door.

 

“We usually eat late after night games. We’re gonna eat and celebrate my birthday a little and then we have to be in bed so we can get home.”

 

“Speaking of, when do you think you’ll get here?” Ali questions. Her plans to celebrate Ashlyn’s birthday require her to know exactly when she’ll be home.

 

“We leave at 9 and it’s a little more than three hours.”

 

“Oh, cool, at least you’ll be home early. I’m sure I’ll be in the library, unfortunately.”

 

“I’m sure you will be,” Ashlyn laughs. “I gotta go but I’ll see you soon, okay?”

 

“See you.”

 

When she hangs up with Ashlyn, Ali decides to ask for some reinforcement for tomorrow. Ashlyn will be home a little earlier than she anticipated so she texts Heather and asks if she wants to help decorate Ashlyn’s room. Heather has met Ashlyn a few times through Ali and agrees that she’ll pick Ali up at the dorms at 8 the next morning.

 

~

 

“So what’s the plan?” Heather asks as Ali gets into her car the next morning.

 

“I’m thinking Target and the dollar store because I need some decorations and balloons,” Ali says. “I also need to get stuff to make mac and cheese and cookies so I’m hoping I can get that at Target.”

 

“Aren’t the dorms a little small for a party?” Heather asks as she pulls away from the curb.

 

“Oh, it’s not a party. It’s just us.”

 

“So you’re dating?” Heather asks. She’s had a feeling about them for a while but Ali has never mentioned that they’re dating so she’s a little confused.

 

“No, no,” Ali says quickly. “I just, I don’t know, want to celebrate with her and she celebrated with the team last night.” She hadn’t really thought about how a private birthday celebration might sound but it is the truth (no matter what she now knows about her feelings for Ashlyn) and Heather doesn’t say anything more about it.

 

When they get back to the dorm with their supplies, they start by wrapping streamers around the railing and ladder of Ashlyn’s bed. With the happy birthday balloons scattered across the ceiling and the steamers, the room already looks much more festive but they still have so much more to do. They debate where to put the happy birthday string sign and hold it up in different locations before they finally decide to secure it to Ashlyn’s bed on one end and Alex’s bed on the other so it’s the first thing Ashlyn sees when she walks in the door. When that is done, it’s time for Ali to start cooking so she brings the mac and cheese and baking supplies down the hall to the kitchen, leaving Heather to finish decorating.

 

Ashlyn often talks about how good her grandma’s mac and cheese is and how much she misses it  and although Ali couldn’t get the Harris family recipe, she does have her own family’s which she figures is a good back up. Either way, it’s not dining hall or boxed mac and cheese so she figures Ashlyn will love it.

 

Ali has hardly ever used the kitchen so it’s a little difficult to find everything she needs and she does have to improvise more than once but in the end, the food and cookies taste pretty damn good so she carries them back to Ashlyn’s room to await her arrival.

 

“Looks good,” she says as she walks through the door. They’d decorated in bright, bold colors so the decorations are a stark contrast to the neutral hues of the room.

 

“I know this might be a little personal but do you like Ashlyn?” Heather asks. “I’m not judging you or anything I’m just curious. I’m your big and I want to make sure you know that you can tell me anything.”

 

Ali takes a deep breath as she sets the food on Ashlyn’s desk. “I think I do, yeah,” she admits. “But I don’t know if I want it to go anywhere because she’s my best friend and it’s more than a little terrifying because I’ve never dated another girl before. So I’m just stuck.”

 

Heather nods as she gathers her things to leave, searching the room for where she put her purse and keys. “Well if you never need advice, you know I’m here for you.”

 

“Thanks, I appreciate that,” Ali smiles. “Thanks for all your help.”

 

“Anything for my favorite little,” Heather says. “Tell me how she likes it.”

 

With Heather gone and Ashlyn not set to arrive for at least another ten minutes, Ali has nothing to do but wait and think about her conversation with Heather. She’s only recently admitted her crush on Ashlyn to herself and this was her first time telling anyone else. It was easier to admit to Heather than Ali thought it would be and maybe if they had more time, Ali would’ve asked for advice. But Ashlyn should be home soon and today is about celebrating her birthday. Ali has no doubt that one day soon, she’ll go to Heather for advice but right now she’s excited to celebrate Ashlyn’s birthday and forget about everything else.

 

When Ashlyn walks through the door, Ali is standing between the two beds with a big smile on her face. “Happy birthday,” she cheers.

 

“Whoa,” Ashlyn says, looking around her newly decorated dorm. “You did all this for me?”

 

“Of course,” Ali grins. She watches as Ashlyn drops her duffle bag to the ground and look around the room. She’s definitely surprised and Ali can’t stop herself from bouncing on her toes a little as she goes to pull Ashlyn into a hug.

 

“Thank you, Al, this is amazing,” Ashlyn says. She hugs Ali tightly until she finally smells the food that’s on her desk. “What’s that smell?”

 

“Lunch,” Ali says. She proudly leads Ashlyn over to the desk where she removes the plastic wrap from the large bowl of mac and cheese they’ll share and the plate of cookies. “I obviously couldn’t get your grandma’s mac and cheese recipe but this is my family’s favorite so it’ll have to do.”

 

“You made this?”

 

Ali nods, watching the way Ashlyn’s eyes light up at the simple gesture.

 

“Do I have to share?” Ashlyn teases.

 

“Yes, I’m starving,” Ali says.

 

They talk a little about their upcoming midterms and the home game on Sunday, which Ali promises she’s attending. She’ll need a break from studying by then anyway and the game will be the perfect way to relax and enjoy herself a little before exams start on Monday.

 

Luckily for Ashlyn, all of her exams are early in the week (she can’t really take Thursday and Friday classes during the fall semester because of the soccer schedule) so her last exam is on Wednesday, the day before Carolina’s final regular season game and final home game of the year.

 

Ali, meanwhile, has her toughest exam on Thursday morning. It’s a gen-ed requirement that has nothing to do with her major or what she wants to do so it’s a little harder for her than her other classes. As soon as she finishes her political science exam on Wednesday afternoon, she’s off to the library with the intent to stay there all night if she has to. She’s about to open her first Red Bull of the night when her phone lights up with a text from Ashlyn.

 

_You should come over tonight. I miss you._

 

_Can’t. In the library studying all night._

 

_You have to go to sleep eventually, right? I’ll leave the door open you can let yourself in._

 

Ali studies until well after 1:00 in the morning and when she gets back to the dorms, Ashlyn’s door is unlocked as promised. She slips in quietly and closes and locks the door behind her before gently setting her backpack down on the floor. Ashlyn is sleeping facing the wall tonight so after Ali readies herself to sleep, she slips into bed behind Ashlyn, molding their bodies together. They’re comfortable enough with each other to cuddle by now but Ali can never figure out what to do with her arm when she’s the big spoon like this.

 

Ashlyn makes the decision for her in her sleep.

 

She never wakes but she can sense Ali’s presence so before Ali can even fall asleep herself, Ashlyn takes Ali’s arm from where it’s awkwardly resting on her shoulder and cuddles it to her chest. Ashlyn is soundly asleep and doesn’t realize what she’s doing but Ali is painfully aware of their new position.

 

Thought she’s exhausted from exams and studying into the night, she can’t fall asleep. Not with Ashlyn cuddling her arm like this. Not with her hand so close to Ashlyn’s t-shirt clad breasts.

 

Eventually, the position starts to feel a little more natural so Ali gives in and finally closes her eyes. She buries her face against Ashlyn’s soft, well worn shirt and breathes in the scent that has become so familiar these last few months.

 

It feels like coming home, like things are meant to be this way. Everything is quiet and still and for once, it feels easy. In her moment of clarity, she can imagine herself with Ashlyn, can imagine that Ashlyn feels this too.

 

~

 

November ushers in tournament season.

 

While Ashlyn is still  painfully aware of her crush on Ali, her competitive nature starts to take over the closer they get to the end of the season so it’s not long before her desire to win a national title eclipses everything else going on in her life.

 

They’re only lost a couple of games all season so the team goes into conference championships feeling confident and ready to win.

 

They win their quarterfinals game with a scoreline of 2-1 and scrape out another one goal victory against their semifinals opponent at the tournament site in Charleston before losing the final later that same weekend.

 

Ashlyn is crushed. The whole team is crushed.

 

The trip back to campus is long and unusually quiet for this loud, outgoing group of players. Ashlyn didn’t play in the final so she doesn’t have her own performance to pick apart like many of her teammates do but she still feels the sting of the loss as strongly as anyone else. These are her teammates, her family, and she hates seeing them upset almost as much as she hates losing herself.  

 

Losing is a part of life, part of this crazy game Ashlyn loves so much. But this was her first college tournament and it leaves a bad taste in her mouth and makes her feel less confident heading into the NCAA tournament. If they couldn’t beat a conference opponent in an important game how are they going to beat the best of the national opponents?

 

Ali tries to be helpful by sending Ashlyn things she think will make her smile: ugly selfies (that Ashlyn thinks are adorable), funny things she finds on the internet, and inside jokes that usually make Ashlyn laugh but at least for the moment, Ashlyn needs to let herself feel defeated. The whole team needs to feel defeated so they go into the NCAA tournament refocused and ready to work hard and fight for each other. They have every right to be confident after the season they’ve had but confidence alone won’t win them the championship.

 

When they get back on campus, Kelley and her housemates decide that a party is in order. No one can get too crazy with the national tournament set to begin in a little less than a week but they all need to unwind so they’re ready to focus on the games ahead of them.

 

Everyone invites some of their other friends so they’re not just surrounded by sulking teammates so Ashlyn invites Ali while Heather gets an invite from both Kelley and Ali. Her feelings for Ashlyn growing stronger everyday but her mind still as conflicted as ever, Ali needs to let loose almost as much as the team does.

 

She likes Ashlyn, that much she’s certain of. She’s not exactly sure if she’s ready to be out, though, because as much as she’s come to accept her sexuality, being out to others requires an entirely new leap of faith. Ashlyn deserves the best and Ali needs to be content with the way things are until she can can give it to her.

 

According to Ashlyn, everyone is getting a little more dressed up for this party than the last one so Ali selects a black ribbed turtleneck dress that hugs her every curve. With the turtleneck and long sleeves, the top is modest but the hemline just barely grazes her mid thighs, leaving her long legs on full display. She pairs it with a denim jacket and her favorite black vans for a casual yet fairly sexy look.

 

Ashlyn is ready first so once she’s finally gotten her hair to lay the way she likes, she slips through the bathroom and into Ali’s room. She doesn’t see her right away so she calls out, “hey, you almost--” she can’t even finish her sentence before Ali comes into view and she completely loses her train of thought.

 

“Yes, I’m ready,” Ali laughs.

 

Ashlyn looks Ali up and down, her eyes lingering on Ali’s legs for a moment too long. She’s gonna need to drink. “Shit, I’ll be right back I forgot something,” she says.

 

She goes back to her room to where she has a flask of whiskey hidden. It’s a team rule not to have hard liquor during the season (they shouldn’t be drinking at all this close to NCAAs but their coaches don’t need to know) so if she needs some whiskey with Ali looking like that, she has to bring her own. She’s wearing a blazer over a simple white button down that’s unbuttoned at the top and untucked which balances out the formality of a blazer. She’s wearing her tight black jeans tucked into her well worn leather boots. She takes a quick drink from the flask before slipping it into the pocket inside her jacket and heads back to Ali’s room.

 

“Okay, let’s do this,” Ashlyn says.

 

~

 

Ashlyn looks _good._

 

Ali isn’t sure how Ashlyn manages to rock suits so well, especially with an untucked and unbuttoned shirt but she knows she likes it. If she tried and outfit like that, she knows she would look more like a frazzled law firm intern at the end of their first day. On Ashlyn, though, the look is cool and casual.

 

Ali can tell early on just how badly the team needs this party tonight. They need to have fun after the crushing ACC loss so they can refocus on the big prize, the national title. As soon as everyone arrives at the house and has a drink in hand, one of the older girls—Carli, Ali thinks—leads a toast.

 

“Remember this feeling and let it fuel us going forward,” Carli says. “Upperclassmen, guide our younger teammates so that when it comes time for the big show we’re all confident again but ready to fight for every goal and every win. We have a great team this year and next time we get back from a tournament I expect to have a trophy in our hands. To the College Cup.”

 

Everyone clinks their beer bottles, cans, and plastic cups with those around them before everyone spreads out a little more to talk and dance and eat the bowls of snacks around the living room and kitchen.

 

Ali and Ashlyn drink quite a bit and before they know it, they’re dancing in the living room with some of Ashlyn’s teammates and the Kappa Delta girls that showed up. Sometimes, they dance as part of a larger group but other times, it feels like it’s just the two of them with Ali’s back pressed against Ashlyn’s front. Ali is more affectionate than she normally is when she’s drunk so Ashlyn has to sneak away to sip from her flask in the bathroom quite a few times to push down all the emotions she feels over a handsy Ali Krieger.

 

The worst (or best, depending on how Ashlyn looks at it) is when Ali spins around to face Ashlyn. She gets so close that their chests are brushing and leans in to whisper in Ashlyn’s ear. “You look so good tonight.” Her breath is hot against Ashlyn’s ears and it sends a shiver down her spine.

 

Ashlyn thanks her and excuses herself for a shot of whiskey in the bathroom. But this time, Ali decides to go with her. Ashlyn drinks from her flask just the same and when Ali gives her a look she explains that she brought a little whiskey with her. She offers a shot to Ali who declines, saying she’s had enough to drink for the night.

 

Ali switches to water when they get back from the bathroom but Ashlyn keeps going. She needs to be good and drunk to deal with Ali. She knows what kind of drunk she is and when she’s just tipsy, she gets a little frisky and she might not be able to control herself. When she’s wasted, however, she turns into one of those girls that gives out compliments like candy on halloween. No one else is drinking hard liquor and when it becomes obvious that Ashlyn is on a whole other level of drunk, Ali decides it’s time to take her back to the dorms.

 

“You’re so great,” Ashlyn says as Ali helps her to her room. When they arrive, Ashlyn fumbles with her key for far too long, unable to unlock the door with all the alcohol in her system.

 

“I got it,” Ali says. She takes the key from Ashlyn and easily unlocks the door.

 

Ashlyn immediately starts to get undressed for bed. But like the pesky lock and key, the buttons on her shirt prove to be too much. “Did someone glue these down?” she groans.

 

“Yeah, it was Jack Daniels,” Ali deadpans. She moves to unbutton Ashlyn’s shirt for her, all the while trying to ignore the feelings that stir in her belly over taking Ashlyn’s clothes off.

 

“That _bastard_ ,” Ashlyn exclaims. After a moment, she narrows her eyes in confusion. “Wait, I don’t know a Jack.”

 

“Oh, I have a feeling you’ll remember him in the morning,” Ali teases. She finally manages to free Ashlyn from her shirt and moves to take her own shoes off before Ashlyn stops her.

 

“Pants,” Ashlyn slurs.

 

Ali knew it was coming but she hoped to avoid it somehow. Taking Ashlyn’s shirt off was already too much for her to handle and now she has to take Ashlyn’s pants off too. She reluctantly reaches down, undoes Ashlyn’s button and zipper, and peels the tight jeans down Ashlyn’s legs.

 

Even in her drunken state, Ashlyn’s breath hitches as Ali works the button of her jeans. Ali notices and meets Ashlyn’s eyes. “You okay? I’d prefer if you don’t barf in my hair.”

 

“Hiccup,” Ashlyn lies.

 

It takes a lot of effort and a lot of convincing on Ali’s part that they can’t go sledding in early November in the south but she finally wrangles Ashlyn into bed and cuddles next to her. She never does manage to get Ashlyn to put clothes on so Ashlyn goes to bed in her sports bra and boxers while Ali helps herself to a shirt and shorts from Ashlyn’s drawer.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Al,” Ashlyn says as they lie next to each other. “How did you get to be so beautiful?”

 

“Shh, go to sleep,” Ali says. “I’ll be here in the morning.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done torturing you with this slow burn ;) but don't worry, the story is far from over
> 
> favorite parts? predictions?
> 
> your comments on the last two chapters were amazing and it always encourages me to update sooner so keep 'em coming :)


	8. Chapter 8

 

Ashlyn wakes with a pounding headache and a promise to herself that she’s never drinking again. When she gets her bearings, the first thing she notices is that Ali is in bed next to her. This isn’t surprising at all but what is surprising is that she has very few clothes covering her body. 

 

Her immediate thought, her fear, is that she and Ali slept together. Really slept together. They were both drunk and from what Ashlyn remembers of the night, they both got a little handsy dancing so it’s not outside of the realm of possibility. 

 

She feels sick and not because of the alcohol still in her veins. 

 

She wants Ali, that much is obvious, but she doesn’t want Ali as a sloppy hookup that she doesn’t even remember nor does she want her as a friend with benefits. She wants all of Ali. She wants lazy Sunday mornings and slow dances in the moonlight. She wants to hold Ali when she cries and make her laugh through her tears. She doesn’t want Ali like  _ this.  _

 

She feels guilty. 

 

Even if they didn’t sleep together, she fears that she may have hit on Ali, preyed on her. 

 

_ You’re not predatory,  _ she reminds herself.  _ You’re allowed to have feelings for her.  _

 

By the time she even tries to move, Ali senses that she’s awake and turns to face her. “Morning,” Ali says, her voice thick with sleep. “That was some night, huh?” 

 

_ Shit.  _

 

“I wouldn't know. You might have to refresh my memory; I don’t remember much.” 

 

“Well, we danced a lot and I found out you had a flask in your pocket. You were pretty drunk and started telling everyone how pretty they are so I decided it was time to go. I switched to water kind of early so I helped you get home.”

 

“And then?” 

 

“Then you couldn’t take your damn clothes off because you forgot how buttons work so I helped you. I tried to get you into pajamas but you refused. You were really, really sad when I told you we couldn’t go sledding because it’s sixty degrees outside.”

 

“Sledding?” Ashlyn asks incredulously. “I’m from Florida I’ve never even been sledding.” 

 

“You were adamant about wanting to go last night,” Ali says. “Then you passed out in bed and I stole some clothes.”

 

“So nothing too out of the usual?” 

 

Ali shakes her head. “Nope, just normal drunk stuff like trying to wrangle you into bed.” 

 

Ashlyn has never felt more relieved in her life. She might have made a bit of a fool of herself but she didn’t do anything that would chase Ali away and for that she’s thankful. “I feel like I’m gonna die,” she groans. 

 

“I feel like shit too and I wasn’t nearly as drunk as you so I can’t even imagine. Want me to go get coffee and donuts from the dining hall?” 

 

“And bagels.” 

 

“And bagels,” Ali promises. “Try to drink some water while I’m gone, okay?” 

 

“Yes, mom.” 

 

~

 

Practice resumes the following day and now that they’ve officially reached preparing for the NCAA tournament, Ashlyn doesn’t get to do much other than practice and go to class. 

 

She’s taping her hands for practice and minding her own business when Kelley comes up with a smug look on her face. 

 

“Did you and Ali finally fuck the other night? I seriously thought you were gonna just go for it while you were dancing.” 

 

“We didn’t do anything,” Ashlyn says. “Or so Ali tells me because I hardly remember a thing. I woke up in just my bra and underwear so I thought we might’ve for a minute but I asked her what happened and she said we just danced and that I refused to put pajamas on so she left me like that.” She doesn’t mention that Ali stayed the night with her (she knows Kelley would give her shit if she knows how often they cuddle) and she certainly doesn’t mention that Ali is the one who undressed her. “And I don’t just want to fuck her, Kel.” 

 

“I know, I know,” Kelley groans. “God, if I have to hear one more time about how much you like her I’m gonna scream. I really think she’s into you too, though. I mean, the way she was dancing it’s a miracle you didn’t need a cold shower before you fell asleep. Plus, the way she looks at you is so not how straight girls look at their friends.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs and considers Kelley’s statement. She has wondered once or twice if Ali maybe isn’t straight but that feels like something to explore once the tournament is over. Right now, she needs to be focused on the team and the upcoming tournament. She needs to be sharp and ready to fight for her team. Ali and her feelings for Ali will be there when the tournament is over and Carolina comes home as champions. 

 

Everything else can wait but the team cannot. 

 

“I don’t know, maybe you’re right but these next few weeks are about the tournament and the tournament only and I really just… need to not be distracted by this.” 

 

“Got it,” Kelley says. “Let’s go win that title.” 

 

Just like that, Ashlyn is focused solely on the team. She’s had to compartmentalize before for the benefit of her team growing up and this is no different. As a kid, she had to leave her parents’ divorce off the pitch, had to leave her own self loathing and worries about her future behind. Now, she has to forget about her crush on Ali for a few weeks. As goalkeeper, her success is the team’s success and her failure is the team’s failure.  

 

~

 

Carolina breezes through the first round of the tournament. Ashlyn has never even heard of their opponent before which is usually a sign that it’s a small school from a small conference. They never had much of a chance against a top national seed. The second and third rounds are a little more difficult but in the end, North Carolina advances and every win is harder and more important than the last. 

 

While Ashlyn prepares for one of the biggest tournaments of her life, Ali prepares to go home for Thanksgiving, which will be her first time going home since she arrived on campus in August. Not only does she get to go home and see her parents and friends from DC, Kyle has been working on getting sober the last few months and promised he would be there for the holiday. 

 

Ali simply cannot wait. 

 

She hasn’t seen Kyle in nearly six months and she hasn’t seen him sober in over eighteen months. Now, she’s gonna get to spend a few days with him and catch him up on all the things he’s missed. 

 

And he’s missed a lot. 

 

He’s missed birthdays and Ali’s high school graduation. He’s missed holidays and more family memories than Ali can count. He’s also missed Ali’s journey to discovering and accepting her sexuality. That’s been the hardest part, Ali thinks, because if she should’ve been able to confide in anyone, it’s Kyle and he hasn’t been around. With Ashlyn now in the picture and taking up more and more of Ali’s mind with each passing day, there’s nothing Ali needs more than advice from her big brother. 

 

The call from her parents comes Tuesday night, just under 24 hours before she’s supposed to fly home. 

 

Kyle isn’t coming, they tell her. He’s using again and called to tell them that he’ll be staying in Miami for Thanksgiving. They told him the door is always open but he’d already made up his mind and cancelled his flight and Ali wonders if there was ever a flight to begin with. 

 

Ali’s dad wanted to wait until Ali got home to tell her the news, so she could at least relax on her flight home instead of worrying about Kyle. Ali’s mom was adamant about telling her first because she knows that the longer they kept this from her, the harder it would be to tell her. Ali doesn’t care about any of this. All she cares about is that after so much excitement and hope that Kyle was on the right track, he’s using again and won’t be there for her. She should be used to it by now and she wonders if she’ll ever stop getting her hopes up only to have them crushed in the end. 

 

Hannah is sleeping when Ali gets the call so she talks to her parents in the bathroom. When she’s done, she collapses on the floor, unable to stop her free flowing tears. She’s too sad to move off of the floor, too distraught to do anything but lie there and cry. 

 

She doesn’t realize how much sound she’s making until Ashlyn comes into the bathroom, her voice full of concern. 

 

“Ali what’s wrong? Did some idiot put his hands on you? I’ll kill him, I swear I will.” Ali just cries harder and now Ashlyn is really concerned. She’s never seen Ali like this before and Ali is generally pretty tough so she knows it must be bad. “Al?” she says softly. “Please talk to me. I’m here for you; I’m always here for you.”

 

It takes another five minutes or so but Ashlyn finally manages to get Ali to lay her head in her lap. She runs her hand through Ali’s hair, doing anything she can to soothe her friend.  

 

When Ali finally speaks, it’s so quiet that Ashlyn almost misses it. “He’s not coming.” 

 

“Who? Santa? I’m sure you were a good girl this year,” Ashlyn jokes, eliciting a small laugh from Ali. Considering the state she found her in, it’s a start. 

 

“No, Kyle. He’s not coming to Thanksgiving.” 

 

“Does he have to work or something?” Ashlyn asks. She hasn’t heard much about Kyle and really only knows that he’s not around much so she figures he must work a lot and sacrifice time with his family to advance his career. 

 

“He has to do drugs with his shitty friends,” Ali says. With that, she starts sobbing again, her shoulders shaking against Ashlyn’s lap. 

 

“Oh, Al,” Ashlyn whispers. She moves her hand from Ali’s hair to her back where she starts rubbing comforting circles. So that’s why Ali never talks about him, why he’s only been mentioned in the past tense. Ashlyn’s family has their own issues with drug and alcohol abuse so she can definitely sympathize. Right now, however, is all about comforting Ali. There will be time, so much time, to share her stories too but this is about Ali. 

 

“He always does this why does he always do this?” Ali sobs. “He was supposed to be getting clean--he promised.”

 

“Addiction is a strange beast, Ali. I don’t think anyone can explain it. Do you want to come to my room so we can talk? This floor is super uncomfortable.” 

 

Ali allows Ashlyn to lead her to her room and up to her bed. They sit cross legged facing one another and Ali gives a soft, sad smile at the realization that at least Ashlyn is there when she needs her. “I don’t know how to help him,” she says as tears roll down her cheeks again. 

 

“Be there to love him when he’s ready to get better,” Ashlyn says. “Remind him every chance you get how important and worthy he is. That’s all any of us can do with people we love.” She leans forward, using her thumbs to wipe tears from Ali’s cheeks. 

 

“Thank you for being here,” Ali says. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” She moves to lie down, curling up with her head in Ashlyn’s lap again. She cries herself to sleep that night, tears rolling down her cheeks until she finally passes out from exhaustion. Ashlyn alternates between playing with Ali’s hair and rubbing her back until she too falls asleep sitting up with her back against the wall. 

 

It’s extremely uncomfortable and when she wakes up for the third time that night at 5:30 in the morning, she devises a plan: they’re gonna go watch the sunrise on the beach. They’re a few hours from the Atlantic so it’s definitely too late to get to a spot on the ocean before the sun rises around 6:50 but there is a big lake just thirty minutes away so they should easily make it there in time. The team had a retreat on Jordan Lake just before the season started so she knows exactly where they should go. 

 

“Al, wake up,” she says, gently shaking Ali’s shoulder. 

 

Ali is slow to wake and when she finally opens her eyes, she looks thoroughly confused. Her eyes are still a little swollen from crying so much and Ashlyn’s heart breaks a little more. 

 

“What?” Ali finally asks. 

 

“Want to go watch the sunrise? Jordan Lake isn’t too far from here and it’s so beautiful.” 

 

“Sure,” Ali says, clearing her throat. 

 

Ashlyn pulls a Carolina hoodie over her t-shirt and changes from her sleep shorts into black joggers while Ali tiptoes into her own room and changes into a similar outfit of a well worn crewneck sweatshirt and black leggings. Neither does much more than brush their teeth so they’re ready fairly quickly and just before they go, Ashlyn pulls the comforter off of her bed in case they get cold. 

 

They stop for coffee (a must at 6:00 in the morning) and muffins on the way, still arriving with plenty of time. 

 

“So what brought this about?” Ali asks as she wraps herself in Ashlyn’s blanket and sits atop their picnic table on the beach. 

 

“Well I couldn’t sleep and I figured you could use a sunrise and a good talk. I wish we could’ve gone to the ocean but this is the best we could do on short notice.” 

 

“I’m sorry I was so upset last night,” Ali says. 

 

“You never need to apologize for your emotions, Ali. You never need to apologize for sharing parts of yourself with me.” 

 

Ali looks out at the calm water and the sunrise just starting to come up on the other side of the lake. “It’s just so hard because I always have to be strong for him and for my parents because they project all their hopes for him onto me.” 

 

“Well you can be strong for them and I’ll be strong for you,” Ashlyn says. “I know how this feels: my mom and older brother both struggled with addiction for a while. I know how hard it is and how frustrating it is to wait for them to want help. Now, are you gonna hog my blanket this whole time?” 

 

“Sorry,” Ali laughs. She clutches the edge of the comforter in her hand and opens her left arm so Ashlyn can get in with her, passing the left side of the comforter to her while holding tight onto the right side. “Better?” 

 

“Much.” 

 

“I didn’t know about your mom and brother,” Ali says quietly. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Are they…” she pauses, searching for the right word for such a sensitive topic. 

 

“They’re both sober now, luckily. But we still have to work to repair our relationships. It’s always a process but I’ve had a lot of games in Florida this year and they’ve been to most of them, which is pretty big considering they missed almost all of my high school games until my senior year.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Ali says. “I didn’t mean to bring all this up for you again.” 

 

“I’m glad you told me. When I was younger, I didn’t talk anyone about it and I took my anger and frustration out on everyone around me. Eventually, I learned that it’s good to talk about it, especially with people who understand you. God, if I’d known about Kyle I would’ve told you about this sooner so you wouldn’t have carried this all alone for so long.”

 

Ali shrugs and looks out at the water again. They’re both quiet for a few minutes before Ali finally speaks again. “He was my best friend growing up. He’s still one of them to an extent, I guess, but like you said, it’s really hard. Did you know that he’s why I want to be a juvenile defense attorney?” 

 

Ashlyn shakes her head no. In all of their conversations about Ali’s dream career, Ali has never mentioned why it’s her chosen path other than she’ll make a good lawyer and she wants to help kids. 

 

“Back in high school, Kyle was caught with some stuff—I don’t even remember what—and his attorney was wonderful. So many people had already written him off but she never did. She saw who he really is and recognized his value and didn’t treat him like a worthless addict or criminal who wouldn’t amount to anything like so many others did. I don’t know, I guess I figured the world needs more people like her in it.”  

 

“I think the world needs more people like both of you in it,” Ashlyn says, trying her best to hide the tears in her eyes. She looks straight ahead at the lake but with Ali looking right at her, she can’t hide the few tears that slide down her cheeks. 

 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you cry,” Ali chuckles. 

 

“I can just tell how much you care about him and I feel like, I don’t know, like I understand you so much better now. Thank you for telling me all of this.” 

 

“God, thank you for listening to my blubbering. I try not to bother too many people with it but it gets to be a lot sometimes.” 

 

“You are the farthest thing from a bother. I love that you trusted me with this.”  _ I love you,  _ she thinks. 

 

They go quiet as the sun finally rises over the trees across the lake. It’s a beautiful, clear morning and neither girl can resist snapping pictures of the scenery on their phones.  

 

“Thank you for dragging me out of bed this morning,” Ali says. “Maybe one day we’ll have to roadtrip so we can watch the sunrise on the ocean like you wanted.” 

 

“It’s a date,” Ashlyn grins. She puts her arm around Ali under the comforter and smiles as Ali rests her head on her shoulder. 

 

As Ali sits there with her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder, she can’t believe how lucky she is to have this woman in her life. Ashlyn encourages her to be the best version of herself and is there for her without judgement. She trusts Ashlyn with these pieces of herself, of her family that she usually keeps hidden by impenetrable walls. When the walls finally crumbled, Ashlyn was right there to help pull her from the rubble. 

 

She loves Ashlyn. 

 

She feels closer to Ashlyn than ever before and she has a feeling that things are going to change between them very, very soon. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoyed this one :) 
> 
> how and when do you think they'll get together? who will make the first move?


	9. Chapter 9

 

They stay at the lake for a little while longer, finally sharing these parts of themselves they’ve held back for so long. By the time they head back towards campus and stop at a diner for breakfast, Ashlyn wonders if there’s anything she doesn’t know about Ali now. This feels like the final hurdle, the final obstacle to knowing each other completely but little does she know, there’s one very big piece of information about Ali she’s yet to learn.

 

As they sit down to breakfast, Ali pulls her phone from the pocket on her leggings and uploads two photos from the morning: a picture of the sunrise with all its golden hues reflecting off of the lake and a selfie of her and Ashlyn taken just before they left. Ashlyn is taking a long, slow sip of her coffee when her phone lights up on the table between them with a notification that she’s been tagged on instagram. 

 

“Oh, I’ve been tagged by akrieger11,” she says. “I wonder what it could be.” 

 

She opens the notification, swiping back and forth between the photos a few times as she reads Ali’s caption. 

 

_ 5:30am wakeup call for a sunrise on the lake with my favorite person. @ashlynharris24 #worthit  _

 

Ashlyn double taps the post, the outline of the heart turning red as she locks her phone and sets it back down on the table. 

 

“You’re kinda my fave too.” 

 

~

 

When they arrive back on campus, they only have a few minutes to say goodbye before Ashlyn has to get ready for practice and Ali has to pack the last of her things for her trip home for Thanksgiving. Christen is also going home for the holiday and her flight is just under an hour earlier than Ali’s so Ali is set to ride with her to the airport. 

 

“I’m so jealous you get to have an actual Thanksgiving,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Well you have a championship to win so you can’t have too much turkey anyway. I’ll be sure to send you lots of pictures of my dinner so you can live through me,” Ali says, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“Don’t torture me like that.” 

 

“Well now I have to do it,” Ali teases. 

 

“When do you come back?” 

 

“Sometime Sunday. I’m driving my car back so I’m not sure what time exactly but probably by early evening.” 

 

“Cool, we’ll be back from quarterfinals that day. Then we’ll have a few days of training here before we go down to Orlando for the semis and finals.”

 

“At some point we’ll have time to hang out again, right? I hate both of us being this busy,” Ali says. 

 

Ashlyn shrugs. Academic finals immediately follow NCAA finals so she knows that by the time she gets back from Orlando, Ali will already be in study lockdown mode until finals end, after which they’ll both head home for the holidays. She already hates the separation. “Hate to break it to ya but it’s gonna be like this until we get back in January.” 

 

“Don’t remind me.”

 

“I’ll try my hardest not to forget you,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

“You’re the worst,” Ali groans. 

 

~

 

Ashlyn suffers merciless teasing at practice. It seems like everyone on the team has seen Ali’s instagram post from that morning and they all have something different to say about it. Carli reminds Ashlyn not to get distracted until the tournament is over while others refer to Ali as her girlfriend and in Syd’s case, her wife. 

 

Kelley enjoys it most of all. 

 

“Ash, I’m not kidding that’s one of the gayest things I’ve ever seen,” she says as they lace up their boots before practice. “Are you sure she’s straight?” 

 

“We’ve been over this, Kel.” 

 

“I know, I’m just saying that I commented with the two girls holding hands emoji and Ali liked it so maybe you’re wrong.” 

 

Ashlyn laughs and rolls her eyes. “I think you’re reading too much into it.” 

 

“And I think you’re not reading into things enough,” Kelley says.  

 

Kelley’s words linger in Ashlyn’s mind all practice. Maybe she hasn’t read into things enough because if she’s honest, she and Ali are closer than she was even with her high school girlfriend. With Kelley’s words in her mind, Ashlyn becomes hyper aware of everything. She’s always been able to read opposing players well but now that Kelley has called her out for being unobservant, Ashlyn feels those innate senses kicking into overdrive even on the pitch. She has one of the best practices of her life, earning praise from coaches and teammates alike. 

 

“Jeez, Ash what did you have for breakfast this morning?” Whitney asks once back in the locker room. 

 

“Ali,” Sydney deadpans, earning herself a glare from Ashlyn and high fives from the rest of the teammates nearby. 

 

If her crush on Ali and everyone’s teasing keeps her playing like this, Ashlyn doesn’t care what they say.

 

~

 

Ali’s first evening back at home is a little bittersweet. Kyle should be there so there’s a weird cloud lingering over everything, despite how excited she is to see her parents and to sleep in a bigger bed that’s not five feet off of the ground. 

 

On Thursday morning, however, she feels refreshed and relaxed and genuinely thankful for all that she has. Kyle isn’t here and that’s still hard but she has a lot of positive things in her life and she’ll keep hoping that one day, Kyle will be sober and this will all be behind them. Ashlyn’s story of her own family repairing the same damage gives her hope that Kyle will eventually make the necessary changes and will come back into their lives. And until that day, she’s going to be thankful for what she has. 

 

A lot of her family is conservative and she hears more than one shitty comment about Kyle (both about his drug use as well as his sexuality) that evening. She tunes a lot of it out and spends most of the evening texting Ashlyn who is at least having dinner with the team at an assistant coach’s house. 

 

She misses Ashlyn a lot but this time apart allows her to really work through her feelings. After realizing that she loves Ashlyn during their sunrise on the lake, she has a lot she needs to think about, to consider. 

 

She doesn’t feel quite ready yet. But will she ever really feel ready? It’s not in her nature to jump without considering every possible angle and she has to remind herself that sometimes, you just need to take a leap of faith.

 

She knows a lot of her extended family would have a problem with it. They’ve had a problem with Kyle’s sexuality for as long as he’s been out and Ali is firm in her belief that if he felt more accepted by the family, he might not have turned to drugs in the first place. Do they know what they did? Would they say the same things to her? 

 

Then there’s the fact that she has no experience with women. She doesn’t think Ashlyn would judge her for her inexperience but what if she messes up? What if she doesn’t know how to give Ashlyn what she wants, what she deserves? She wants to be sure she can be everything Ashlyn deserves and until then, she thinks she’ll be paralyzed in fear. She just hopes it doesn’t take too long. 

 

~

 

On Saturday, Ali watches the quarterfinals in nervous anticipation. If they win this game, they’re off to the College Cup in Orlando as one of four teams left standing. Ashlyn happens to be in goal and as the game progresses and Carolina plays nervously, they give up one too many chances for their opponents. Ashlyn is as stellar as Ali has ever seen her and despite all the chances, she keeps the score level. The game goes into overtime, with a golden goal or possibly PKs to decide the fate of the 0-0 game. 

 

Finally, with just two minutes left of the second overtime period, Alex volleys a beautiful assist from Kelley into the back of the net, far out of reach of the opposing team’s goalkeeper. The game ends instantly and the entire team celebrates Alex as the hero and while Ali is proud of her, she knows that if it weren’t for Ashlyn in goal, they would’ve headed to the locker room with a loss nearly half an hour ago. 

 

The result official, Ali pulls out her phone to text Ashlyn. 

 

_ Amazing game. You’re a star.  _

 

They FaceTime later that night, both girls giddy with excitement that Ashlyn and the team will be heading to Orlando for the College Cup in just a few days. Ali knew they could do it, they’ve had such a great year, but seeing the excitement on Ashlyn’s face makes the payoff that much sweeter. 

 

Ali checks her email when they’re done talking, finding one from the women’s soccer email list (she signed up as soon as she knew Ashlyn was on the team) that there will be a bus taking students, friends, family, and fans down to Orlando for the College Cup final. It’s a little risky to book because they’re not yet in the final but Ali has faith in Ashlyn and the team so she sends out a group text to Heather, Becky, and Christen, all of whom usually attend home games with her to see if they want to go. For just $75, they’ll have a round trip bus ride, a ticket to the final, and the night in a hotel following the final. 

 

Their responses come in sooner than Ali expected. All three are in so they all book their tickets that night (Heather makes sure of that because they usually sell out quickly) and request each other as roommates for the hotel. Now all that’s left is for UNC to win their semifinal make the final. 

 

~

 

Ali sees Ashlyn for a total of twenty minutes when she gets back on campus after Thanksgiving break. Just like Ali goes into lockdown mode for studying, Ashlyn is in lockdown mode for the tournament and doesn’t want any distractions. 

 

When she does meet Ali for coffee one morning, Kelley’s words ring through her mind and she finds herself hyper aware of every move Ali makes. She’s not sure what she’s supposed to be looking for, really, but Ali has been a little more apt to show physical affection since the party after ACCs and the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that Kelley might be right. 

 

Like when Ashlyn hands Ali her coffee and Ali brushes her hand more than would be necessary. Or when Ali gives her a big hug before they part even though she claims to not like hugging. Once or twice, Ashlyn would swear she catches Ali looking at her lips. 

 

She doesn’t have too long to dwell on things because the team flies out to Orlando the next morning and she has to be back in tournament mode once again, forcing these thoughts out of her head. 

 

While Ashlyn heads to Orlando with the team, Ali, Heather, Becky, and Christen plan a watch party at the Kappa Delta house. They get tons of snacks and soda and when the game starts, the four of them watch intently, hoping that their trip to the final won’t be wasted on watching a school that isn’t theirs. None of the other girls are too focused on the game and they’re more interested in socializing and snacking but Ali is thankful to have these three as invested as she is. 

 

Carolina goes down a goal early which definitely doesn’t help Ali’s nerves. They don’t give up too much ground after that and eventually, their offense kicks into another gear. They roar back with two goals in five minutes to take the lead with Whitney, one of the centerbacks, scoring the second goal much to the delight of her teammates. It’s her first goal of the season and it couldn't have come at a better time. 

 

Whitney’s goal stands as the game winner and as the final seconds tick away, Ali gets more and more excited for her upcoming trip to the final. 

 

“Pack your bags, ladies. We’re going to Orlando,” Becky says when the final whistle blows. 

 

~

 

By the time Ashlyn calls Ali after celebrating the win with her team, Ali is already back at her dorm and packing her bag for her trip. She hasn’t yet told Ashlyn her plan to attend, figuring it would be a good surprise for after the semifinal. 

 

“We goin’ to the ‘ship,” Ashlyn exclaims as Ali accepts her FaceTime request. “I’m so fucking nervous but right now I don’t care.” 

 

“I’m so, so proud of you guys,” Ali grins. “And I can’t wait to see you play on Sunday.” 

 

“Better hope your stream is good.” 

 

“Hold on a sec,” Ali says. She sets her phone down on her desk and attempts to zip her duffle bag for the fourth time that night. It’s a little overstuffed, though, and she can’t get it zipped without taking some of her belongings out. When she realizes she’s gonna have to unpack it yet again to eliminate some clothes, she sighs deeply. 

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Ashlyns voice comes from Ali’s phone on the desk. 

 

“Sorry,” Ali mutters. She reaches for her phone, grinning as she sees Ashlyn’s face again. “I’m packing.” 

 

“Why? You going home again or something?” 

 

“Nope. I’m coming to your game, silly.” 

 

“You’re doing what?” Ashlyn exclaims. “Are you serious?” 

 

“No, I’m messing with you to get your hopes up before I crush them,” Ali deadpans. “Of course I’m serious. They have busses leaving from campus for the game so I’m coming and so are Heather, Becky, and Christen. We’ll be in our fan section so hopefully you can find us among all the other people wearing Tar Heel blue.” 

 

“Well now I really have to play well,” Ashlyn grins. “I can’t let my good luck charm down.” 

 

~

 

Ultimately, UNC sends three busses down to Orlando due to such high demand. The busses arrive on campus at 11:45 on Saturday night so almost everyone wears pajamas and tries to fall asleep for the long ride. Ali ends up taking a window seat with Heather next to her and Becky and Christen in the seats across the aisle. While everyone else snores around her, Ali is too anxious to fall asleep. Heather picks up on this and after about an hour (during which Ali was certain Heather was asleep), she finally turns to Ali. 

 

“Something on your mind?” 

 

“I’m nervous,” Ali says. 

 

“About the game?” Heather asks. 

 

It would be easy to say yes, to let Heather think that she just wants the team to do well but she knows that’s not it. “A little, yeah, but mostly I’m nervous about Ashlyn.” 

 

“I’m sure she’ll do fine, Ali.” 

 

“That’s not it either,” Ali replies. “You know how I told you before that I had a little crush on her? Well, it’s more than that now and I don’t know what to do.” 

 

“Tell her how you feel,” Heather says. 

 

“I’m scared. I guess it’s just that, I don’t know, I’ve never acted on my attraction to women before and it’s really, really scary. She’s my best friend and she deserves so much and I don’t know if I’m ready for everything that would come with being out yet.” 

 

“You really need to listen to me here, okay? Just listen and don’t say anything.” 

 

“Okay,” Ali says. 

 

“From what I can tell, you and Ashlyn have what everyone looks for. You have feelings for your best friend and she has feelings for you too. I don’t know from experience, obviously, but I understand you being scared to be out. But do you really think deep down that it’ll be easier to ignore your feeling for Ash or any other woman you may be interested in rather than just dealing with shitty things people might say? People are going to say shitty things no matter what, you know? Like, they’ll see you’re in a sorority and call you a bimbo or a slut or whatever they think we are but you know in your heart that it’s not like that at all, that it’s about the connections and getting involved with the community. People will think what they’re gonna think but at the end of the day, you could have something really special with Ashlyn so is it really worth it to sacrifice that out of fear?” 

 

Ali is quiet for a moment as she processes what Heather has said. Finally, one point sticks out more than the rest. “You said Ashlyn has feelings for me. Did she say something to you?” 

 

“Kelley and I have classes together, remember?” Heather says. “We’ve been comparing notes. But, seriously, don’t act like you didn’t know that girl has it bad for you.” 

 

“No, I thought she might but it’s weird to have confirmation. And I guess you’re right. I can only worry about myself and not what other people think about me.”

 

“Exactly,” Heather grins. “So what are you gonna do about it?” 

 

“I think I’m gonna tell Ash how I feel.” 

 

~

 

They get to the hotel well before normal check-in time but luckily, the room Ali, Becky, Heather, and Christen are assigned to wasn’t used the night before so it’s ready to go for an early check-in. They each take their turn showering to wash the long bus ride from their skin and get dressed in head to toe UNC gear before heading to lunch together. 

 

The day seems longer than normal and by the time they get to the stadium, Ali thinks she’s going to be sick with nerves. When Ashlyn is announced as the starting goalkeeper, Ali is certain that she’s going to pass out. 

 

The game is one of the most evenly matched back and forth games she’s ever seen. Carolina goes up just fifteen minutes in before Stanford equalizes twenty minutes later on a brilliant goal that Ashlyn has no chance against. The teams take the tie into the locker rooms at the half and just as the second half is set to begin, a light rain begins to fall. 

 

Ali started watching the weather forecast as soon as they booked their tickets so she and her friends simply pull their rain jackets on and continue cheering on the team. They’re completely unbothered by the rain but it changes the game entirely. 

 

After an hour of play, Stanford goes up a goal and holds their lead for the next 25 minutes and Ali is filled with dread that Carolina might not win. After all their hard work, Ashlyn and her team might come home empty handed. With just five minutes left of the game, Ali is ready to close her eyes to avoid watching Ashlyn’s body language as her dream slips out of reach. But then Carolina equalizes. 

 

Tobin sends in a cross from the wings and the Stanford keeper loses her footing on the wet grass, allowing Carli to redirect the ball into the net from within the crowded six yard box. It’s not the most beautiful goal but it’s a goal, an equalizer no less, and the Carolina team and fans go crazy. 

 

The game goes to extra time, rain falling more steadily now. Both teams get some good chances that would immediately end the game (including an offsides ‘goal’ from Stanford that had Ali feeling sick to her stomach until the refs waved it off) but in the end, the game is destined for PKs. 

 

Despite the goals she gave up earlier in the game, Ashlyn is as sharp as ever. She’s just a freshman but she stands tall in goal and is completely fearless and Ali has so, so much confidence in her. 

 

Kelley and Alex easily put their penalty kicks into the back of the net but so does the first Stanford striker. On Stanford’s second attempt, however, Ashlyn gets a good read on the kicker and dives to her right into the wet grass and mud surrounding her goal line to push the ball just wide of the post. 

 

The Carolina team breathes a little easier. 

 

Julie puts her PK away, as does the next Stanford player. 

 

Carli’s shot just barely skips by the outreached hand of the Stanford keeper and into the back of the net and all eyes are on Ashlyn and the next Stanford kicker. If Stanford scores here, they’re still alive but just barely. If it’s a miss or a save, UNC wins the title without ever needing to take their fifth penalty. 

 

Ali stops breathing as the Stanford player steps up to the penalty spot and readies herself. 

 

The shot has some pace on it but again, Ashlyn reads the ball the whole way. This time, the ball heads towards the left side of the goal and Ashlyn leaps the correct way and uses her palm to push it away before it crosses the line at about two feet in the air. 

 

The entire team, including the bench players, run to Ashlyn and dogpile on top of the goalkeeper that won the championship for them. 

 

Ali, meanwhile, jumps up and down and hugs her friends and other Carolina fans surrounding them. At some point, someone in the crowd starts a Tar Heel chant so Ali, Heather, Becky, and Christen join in at the top of their lungs. 

 

Once free from the dogpile, Ashlyn removes her gloves and quickly shakes hands with the other team and celebrates with her coaches before turning to the crowd. Nearly every UNC fan wants to congratulate the star keeper but Ali watches as Ashlyn keeps scanning the crowd. Ali pushes her way down to the front, muttering weak apologies when she bumps into people, until she reaches the railing. 

 

“Ashlyn,” she calls. “Ash, over here.” 

 

She finally gets Ashlyn’s attention and Ashlyn turns around to look for Ali. It’s pouring rain now so Ashlyn is dripping from head to toe. Her goalkeeper kit clings to her body in a way that does something to Ali and her wet hair is now washed clean of the products she uses to hold it in place for games. It’s no matter, though, Ashlyn is still the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen. 

 

Ashlyn sprints over to where Ali is standing against the railing and before Ali can think anything better of it, she takes Ashlyn’s face in her hands and kisses her deeply. Ali is in the stands which is higher than the field so she leans down as she captures Ashlyn’s lips in a passionate kiss. 

 

Ashlyn seems shocked at first but eventually, she kisses Ali back just as fiercely. 

 

Eventually, a whistle from someone in the crowd reminds Ali of exactly where they are and she breaks the kiss. Since Ashlyn was the hero of the game, a lot of the attention was on her and when they kissed like that, they only drew more attention to themselves. It seems as if every eye in the stadium is on them. 

 

Ali panics. 

 

“I gotta go,” she says. 

 

Without another word or even another glance at Ashlyn, she starts to make her way up and out of the stadium, leaving a rain soaked and very confused Ashlyn behind.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little something to cap off the weekend. how's that for a cliffhanger? :P 
> 
> What do you think will happen now? Will they finally talk about things or will it be awkward for a while? How much do you love where I ended this chapter? ;) favorite parts or lines? 
> 
> let me hear it and I'll get the next chapter up in a couple of days :)


	10. Chapter 10

  
  


Ashlyn is dreaming. She’s sure that she must be dreaming. 

 

She saves two penalty kicks in the shootout and before she can process what just happened, her team piles on top of her at the goal line. She’s crushed at the bottom of the pile, goalkeeper gloves still on her hands, yet somehow everything feels weightless. 

 

They won. 

 

They’re national champions. 

 

When her teammates finally help her off the ground, she hugs them in turn and moves around the field to congratulate Stanford on a game well played. Penalties are tricky and if the trophy went to the team that most deserved it, they would have to award it to both teams. But in the end, it’s a Carolina victory and Ashlyn is lauded for her performance. 

 

As soon as it’s acceptable to break away from the team, Ashlyn starts searching the dense Carolina blue sections for her favorite face. Her family should be somewhere, too, but for right now, she’s looking for her good luck charm. 

 

As she circles the fan sections, it seems as if everyone wants to take the time to congratulate her on the victory. It’s a good feeling, being hailed as the hero of the night, but everyone else can wait until after she hugs Ali. 

 

She has her back to Ali when she finally hears her voice. She whips around, vaguely aware of how wet she is from the pouring rain, and finally spots that familiar smile. She runs the few feet to where Ali has pushed her way to the front of the crowd and smiles. 

 

Neither woman says a word. 

 

As soon as Ashlyn is within reach, Ali grabs her cheeks and pulls her in for a kiss that lights a fire in Ashlyn’s belly. She’s caught off guard at first, certain she’s dreaming, but when her brain finally catches up, she starts kissing Ali back. Ali is in the stands so for once, she’s the taller of the two and Ashlyn has to stand on her toes a little to fully kiss Ali but she doesn’t mind at all. Truthfully, she feels so light at the moment that she might be able to levitate to the right height if she really wanted to. 

 

She’s just about to take Ali’s bottom lip between her teeth when some asshole nearby whistles at their kiss. It’s enough to break the spell. 

 

Ali jumps away like she’s been burned, mutters something about needing to go, and starts up the stairs before Ashlyn can say a word to stop her. 

 

“What the fuck just happened,” Ashlyn mutters. 

 

From somewhere within the crowd in front of her, Ashlyn hears her brother’s voice. “Nice one, sis,” Chris yells. 

 

Ashlyn looks down at the people still waiting to see some of the players (most have already left to get out of the rain) until she spots her family right in front just three feet away from where Ali kissed her. 

 

“Was that you that whistled?” Ashlyn growls as she moves down to where her family is. 

 

“Maybe,” Chris smirks. 

 

Ashlyn sighs and runs a hand through her hair. Of course it was her brother that ruined that moment. Of course out of all the people still waiting to greet players, her family had a clear view of her moment with Ali. “Do you have any fucking idea how long I’ve had a crush on that girl and you had to ruin the moment with your stupid whistle.” 

 

“Someone had to stop you guys.” 

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes in annoyance and ignores her brother as she greets the rest of the family. They all congratulate her on her performance and on the title but their reunion is short as they want to get out of the rain and Ashlyn has to go to the locker room and find a way to track down Ali. 

 

As she says goodbye to her family and thanks them for coming, for supporting her on this long road, Kelley is right there by her side. 

 

“Holy shit, if I had known Ali could run that fast, I would’ve suggested she try out for a walk on spot or something,” Kelley teases. “Seriously, what was that all about? And why didn’t you tell me that you finally got together?” 

 

“We’re not together,” Ashlyn says as the pair walks to the locker room. “That was our first kiss.”

 

“Hell of a first kiss, my God.” 

 

“I know,” Ashlyn breathes. “And now I have no idea where she went or why she ran out of here like she couldn’t get away from me fast enough. Am I that bad of a kisser?”

 

“I’m sure you’re a great kisser,” Kelley laughs, clapping Ashlyn on the back.

 

When they finally walk into the locker room, everyone goes silent and looks at Ashlyn curiously. Of course they all saw the kiss and of course they’re ready to give her shit about it. She ignores them all and goes to her locker where she takes her phone from her backpack. 

 

There are congratulatory messages and texts from friends and family but not a single word from Ali. Ashlyn sighs as she unlocks her phone and dials Ali’s number. 

 

No answer. 

 

Of course there’s no answer. 

 

More confused than ever, Ashlyn takes her boots off and stuffs her feet into her sport sandals. 

 

“Ash, I got a text from Heather,” Kelley says, coming over to Ashlyn’s locker from her own. “She says she knows you’re probably worried and that Ali took a cab back to their hotel. They’re staying at the Hampton Inn room 431.” 

 

Ashlyn doesn’t move for a moment until Whitney finally comes over and puts everything from Ashlyn’s locker into her bags, handing them to her. “Go get your girl.” 

 

~

 

Ali has never been more embarrassed in her life. 

 

She’s never been one for public displays of affection and she truly has no idea what came over her when she kissed Ashlyn like that in front of everyone. As soon as she hears the whistle from somewhere nearby, she can’t get out of that stadium fast enough. She leaves even her friends, her roommates for the weekend, behind and orders an Uber to pick her up instead of getting on the busses that will soon take the fans from Carolina back to the hotel.

 

She texts Heather that she’s going back to the hotel so she doesn’t worry and puts her phone on do not disturb, fully intent on hiding from the world for the rest of the night (or at least until her friends get back to the room). 

 

She’s been back for just over half an hour, already in pajamas with no makeup when someone knocks on the door. Assuming the other girls forgot their keys, she trudges across the room and opens the door to find Ashlyn on the other side. 

 

Ashlyn is still in her muddy and wet game gear (though she’s taken her gloves off and switched her cleats for sandals). She has a backpack over her shoulders and a duffle bag in her hand. She drops the duffle bag on the floor and surprises Ali by pulling her in for a bear hug without warning. 

 

“Gross, Ash, you’re muddy and wet,” Ali whines, trying to free herself from Ashlyn’s strong embrace. Ashlyn holds her tight for a moment before finally letting go. 

 

“Yeah, and you kissed me and ran away,” Ashlyn says as Ali looks down at her clothes that are now a little wet but, thankfully, still clean. 

 

Ali sighs and lets Ashlyn into the room. Ashlyn drops her bags by the door and waits for Ali to speak. 

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Ali says. 

 

“Kiss me or run away?” 

 

“Both,” Ali replies. Ashlyn’s face falls in disappointment and Ali knows she needs to explain. “Do you have dry clothes in those bags?” 

 

“Yeah, the stuff we traveled to the game in.” 

 

“Why don’t you change and we’ll talk, okay? You shouldn’t stay in your wet clothes for too long.”

 

Ashlyn nods and takes her bags into the hotel bathroom to take a quick shower and put her dry clothes on while Ali makes herself comfortable on the bed she’s sharing with Heather. Ashlyn tries her best to figure out what this all means but she’s still so confused that she can’t come to any sort of conclusion. When Ashlyn emerges from the bathroom, Ali feels her anxiety spike at the conversation they’re about to have. 

 

“So you didn’t want to kiss me?” Ashlyn asks as she settles across from Ali. 

 

“Oh, no, I definitely wanted to kiss you,” Ali says, laughing a little at just how much that statement brighten’s Ashlyn’s mood. “I, uh… this is hard.” 

 

“It’s just me.” 

 

Right, it’s just Ashlyn. Her best friend and someone she trusts implicitly. 

 

“I’ve kind of, um, had feelings for you for a while now. And I told myself that I was gonna tell you how I feel after the final but I didn't think that I would show you how I feel the second the game ended with all those people around. I just… couldn’t help myself I guess.” 

 

Ashlyn sucks in a breath as she tries to process what Ali just said. 

 

Ali has feelings for her. Not a crush but  _ feelings  _ which somehow feels more important, more than simple infatuation or lust. “You—” she pauses, shaking her head in disbelief as she feels tears sting in her eyes. “I thought it was just me.” 

 

“Definitely not just you,” Ali says. She leans forward a little, taking Ashlyn’s hand into her own as they both try to control their emotions. Of all the times she imagined telling Ashlyn how she feels, she never imagined that it would nearly move Ashlyn to tears. It just reinforces why this is worth it, why Ali has to take this leap of faith no matter what others might think. 

 

“Am I being punk’d?” Ashlyn asks, eliciting a laugh from Ali. “Is this a fever dream? I mean, we win the championship and you tell me you have feelings for me? This is either a prank or a dream.” 

 

“It’s real,” Ali laughs. “But to prove it, I’ll give you a little backstory: I’ve known that I’m attracted to men and women for a little over a year now. It was hard at first and I tried a bunch of different labels but none of them seemed to fit me. So I ultimately decided that I’m just not gonna label myself. I wasn’t out with  _ anyone  _ my senior year. If Kyle had been around, I would’ve talked to him about it but you obviously know what’s going on there. So I come to campus far away from everyone else I know and it’s the perfect opportunity to explore my sexuality, right? But I met you and we clicked from the very beginning. I mean, I don’t need to tell you that. When you had that other girl over and asked if I was jealous I was so mad because I knew that deep down, you’d struck a nerve and that made me have to finally think about how I felt about you.” Ashlyn looks stunned so Ali rubs her thumb against the back of her hand a little. “You okay?” 

 

“Just taking it all in,” Ashlyn says. “Keep going, you were just about to talk about how great I am, right?” 

 

Ali rolls her eyes dramatically before continuing, “I just felt a pull towards you and I realized then that it wasn’t just as my friend—best friend—it was more than that. But I still had to work through things because I was and still kind of am scared to be out, you know? Finally, Heather and I talked on the bus ride here and she made me realize that I needed to forget everyone else and give this a shot. That is, as long as you want to.” 

 

“I definitely want to,” Ashlyn says. “God, now I feel like I need to give a speech.” 

 

“It’s always safe if you want to tell me I’m beautiful and smart and funny,” Ali teases. 

 

“All of the above,” Ashlyn grins. “I had feelings from you since the beginning but I thought you were straight so I obviously never acted on them. I actually may or may not have lied that first night to get you to cuddle with me.” 

 

“What do you mean?” Ali asks. 

 

“Alex wouldn't have minded if you slept in her bed. It’s hardly even her bed because she’s never there.” 

 

“You little liar,” Ali exclaims. “You weren’t just trying to get in my pants, were you?” 

 

“No, of course not. If I was just trying to hook up with you it would’ve happened a long time ago.” 

 

“Yeah, sure it would’ve,” Ali laughs, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Really though, I just thought you were pretty and it was the perfect opportunity to get to know you. It obviously worked because you couldn’t stay away. I must be irresistable.” 

 

“You need to stop before I change my mind.” 

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

Ali lies on her back and pulls Ashlyn to lie next to her. They’ve cuddled together so many times but with the conversation they just had, it feels different now. Ali wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and cuddles close. 

 

“I can’t believe I’ve been torturing myself thinking I had a crush on a straight girl and you’ve been into me this entire time,” Ashlyn muses. 

 

“Sorry,” Ali laughs. “So where do we go from here?” 

 

“Well, I think the first step is for me to take you on a date as soon as we’re back on campus. So study on the bus ride home so I can take you out. I also think we should take things slow.” 

 

This surprises Ali. She rolls over a little to study Ashlyn’s face, thankful that their feelings are out in the open and she can stare at her as long as she likes. “Really, why?” 

 

“Because I think it’s important for us to get it right. There’s no rush, you know?” 

 

“Does that mean I can’t do this?” Ali asks, leaning forward to capture Ashlyn’s lips in another kiss. This one is softer and slower than their one after the final but it still leaves both of them breathless. 

 

“Feel free to do that whenever you want,” Ashlyn says. “Kissing is great.” 

 

“It is,” Ali grins. She kisses Ashlyn again, closing her eyes as they move against one another. She’s never kissed a woman before tonight and she’s pleasantly surprised to find that Ashlyn’s lips are much softer than the guys she kissed in high school. She also smells better and even though they’re just kissing, their bodies seem to mold perfectly to one another. 

 

Ashlyn worries that she might pass out. In all of her wildest dreams about tonight, she never, ever imagined ending up kissing Ali. She imagined winning in more ways than she could count and she even imagined what it would be like to lose but she never imagined that she would end the night with a national championship to her name and Ali kissing her like this. 

 

She tangles her hands in Ali’s hair to stop them from wandering too much and concentrates on being the best kiss Ali has ever had. If this is Ali’s first kiss with a woman, she’s going to make it one to remember. She explores Ali’s mouth with her tongue and is more than a little surprised (and turned on) when Ali nips at her lips before kissing them softly once more. She’s just starting to regret her decision to take things slow when her phone rings from within her backpack. 

 

“Shit,” she says, pulling away from Ali. “I was supposed to meet the team for a celebratory dinner. Want to come?” 

 

“Sure, just let me put normal clothes back on,” Ali says. “Are you sure I’m allowed to come? Is it just a team thing?” 

 

“No, it’s totally fine,” Ashlyn replies. She checks her phone to find a bunch of texts and a missed from Kelley. “Kelley texted me and said she invited Heather, Becky, and Christen because they figured they couldn’t come back here.” 

 

Ali nods and digs through her duffle bag for a charcoal grey sweater and her jeans, holding them in her hands for an awkward moment as she tries to decide if she should change in front of Ashlyn or not. They’ve usually always gone into the bathroom to change but considering the events of the evening, she decides to change right there. She has a sports bra and boyshorts on so neither of her undergarments are too revealing but she catches Ashlyn staring nonetheless. 

 

“Control yourself,” Ali laughs. 

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn says, blushing a little. She busies herself by ordering a car to take them to the restaurant, intentionally ignoring the way Ali has to wiggle into her tight jeans. 

 

When Ali is dressed, she grabs her phone and purse and makes sure all the lights are off before going to the door. Ashlyn leads the way out and when they’re in the hallway, she slips her hand into Ali’s, taking the other woman by surprise. 

 

“This okay?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“More than,” Ali grins. She gives Ashlyn’s hand a reassuring squeeze and they make their way to the elevator.

 

They don’t stop holding hands until they get into the car and even then, Ali laces their fingers together as soon as they’re situated. When they finally arrive at the restaurant, Ali grips Ashlyn’s hand tighter and they walk into the building together, easily finding their large group. 

 

There are two seats left by Kelley, Heather, and Alex so Ali and Ashlyn slide in next to each other to amused looks from their friends. 

 

“Can I just say that we fucking knew it,” Kelley says, gesturing between herself and Heather. “Did you finally have sex?” 

 

“They better not have; Ali and I are sharing a bed tonight,” Heather says. 

 

“Don’t worry, we just talked about our feelings,” Ali says. 

 

Kelley snorts with laughter as she tries to take a drink of her beer. “You’re fucking with me.” She looks between Ali and Ashlyn, waiting for any sign that they’re joking before continuing, “that’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard. You really didn’t have sex? Not even a little?” 

 

“Easy, Kel,” Ashlyn says as Ali goes red and nuzzles against her chest in embarrassment. 

 

“Sorry, I can’t help it.”    

 

“I think this makes us in-laws,” Heather jokes as she nudges Kelley in the side. 

 

“Step-sisters,” Alex decides. 

 

“Well you are acting like children,” Ali jokes. 

 

Ashlyn turns to Ali, laughing at their friends’ antics. “So we definitely should’ve hid this from them for what? Two, three years?” 

 

“Until we graduate,” Ali says. 

 

“Too late now,” Kelley grins. “We love our blended family.” 

 

“Lord help us,” Ashlyn mutters. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since you guys asked so nicely (and lauren said you've suffered enough) i decided to give you this update a day early :) 
> 
> What do you think they'll do for their first date? favorite parts or lines? 
> 
> Thanks for all the comments so far. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that we're just getting started. I'm currently working on chapter 21 and there's no end in sight so keep the comments coming! They fuel me as I write future chapters for you all.


	11. Chapter 11

 

Ashlyn’s attention is torn all night, stuck somewhere between celebrating with her team that all their hard work paid off in the form of the national championship and enjoying the recent developments in her and Ali’s relationship. Many times throughout the night she’s tempted to take Ali back to her room so they can kiss some more and has to remind herself that she’ll only get to experience winning a national championship with this group of women once. So she stays present and celebrates with her team while holding Ali’s hand as much as she possibly can. They sneak quick kisses here and there and each time it feels a little more real.

 

When it’s time to go back to their respective hotels, they finally take a moment alone together to say goodbye. In the morning, Ali has to get on the bus back to campus while Ashlyn will have breakfast with her family before flying back with the team. 

 

“I’ll see you when you get home tomorrow evening,” Ashlyn says, wrapping Ali into a hug. “Give me a heads up when you’re about a half an hour away so I can have food for you in my room.” 

 

Ali pulls back from the hug and takes both of Ashlyn’s hands in hers, swinging them back and forth. “Panera?” 

 

“If that’s what you want me to get,” Ashlyn replies. 

 

“I can’t believe I’m gonna be on a bus for the whole day tomorrow and you get to lounge around and have breakfast and still get back before me.”

 

“At least you should be able to get some studying done so we can hang out tomorrow night.” 

 

“Can’t wait,” Ali grins. She loops her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and pulls her in for a kiss goodnight, not lingering too much after her embarrassment at the game. When they part, she squeezes Ashlyn’s hand. “See you tomorrow.” 

 

~

 

Ashlyn’s family grills her about Ali. They haven’t heard much about her so they’re curious about the girl that made out with Ashlyn moments after the final, the first one Ashlyn looked for in the crowd. 

 

Ashlyn can’t help her smile as she talks about Ali. She tells them where Ali is from and what her goals are and how she’s been so supportive of the team this semester. She talks about how she’s had feelings for her for months now and about how she was just as surprised as they were when Ali kissed her. 

 

“Ashy’s got it bad,” Chris teases. 

 

“Yeah, I do,” Ashlyn says. She balls up her discarded straw wrapper and playfully throws it at her older brother. “And if you weren’t such a jackass all the time maybe you could get a girl too. Hey, I could teach you my ways.”

 

“You’d still get more girls than he does,” Corey says. “And hotter ones too.” 

 

“It’s a gift,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

~

 

The flight back to North Carolina is joyful and celebratory. They have new hardware for the trophy case and the entire team wears their national champions t-shirts and hats, prompting lots of questions and curious looks from fellow passengers. Some passengers even request to take photos with the team and congratulate them on their incredible season. 

 

When Ashlyn finally arrives back at the dorms, Ali still has five hours left of her bus trip and Ashlyn can’t resist torturing her a little. She snaps a picture of her study materials spread out in front of her in bed. 

 

_ Back to real life.  _

 

Ali’s response is just as she expected. 

 

_ At least you’re not stuck on a bus for five more hours.  _

 

_ Sorry,  _ Ashlyn writes.  _ Do you want me to distract you?  _

 

_ What do you have in mind? _

 

Ashlyn sends Ali a word hunt request on Game Pigeon. Ali usually wins when they play but Ashlyn loves the challenge. She’s gotten much better at the game since they first started playing each other a month or two ago and she loves when she gets on a roll and pulls off a win. This is one of those times and when Ali sends in her losing score, she’s clearly frustrated. 

 

_ That was a fluke. I call for a rematch.  _

 

Ashlyn isn’t sure how many rounds they play but she knows that she doesn’t get much studying for almost an entire hour. They’re both just as competitive as the other so they trash talk quite a bit and when Ashlyn gets a score almost double Ali’s one game, Ali jokingly threatens to break things off. When they finally do call it quits for the time being, she has few more wins to her name and really needs to focus on studying before Ali gets home.

 

As promised, Ashlyn picks up dinner when Ali texts that they’re almost home so when Ali drops her stuff off in her own room before making her way over to Ashlyn’s, Ashlyn already has the food on her desk. 

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn greets, a smile playing on her lips when she sees Ali. “How was the ride?” 

 

“Long,” Ali groans. “But worth it because I got to be down there to see you kick ass.” 

 

“And what else?” 

 

Ali pretends to think for a moment before standing on her toes and capturing Ashlyn’s lips in a kiss. When they pull apart, Ali grins. “And I get to do that now. All in all, I think this weekend was a success. And now that we’re back, there’s nothing I could want more than a quiet date with you.” 

 

“This isn’t a date,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali raises her eyebrows in surprise. “It isn’t? We’re alone and you bought me dinner. Sounds kind of like a date.” 

 

“It can’t be our first date,” Ashlyn says. “I’m taking you on a real date tomorrow night. This is just normal stuff for us, you know? Like when you had food ready when I got home from a few away games. We just take care of each other.” 

“Well either way this was sweet of you and I really appreciate it.” 

 

Ashlyn pulls Alex’s desk chair over so they can sit and eat together.

 

“So about this date tomorrow,” Ali begins, “what’s it gonna be?” 

 

“I’m thinking frozen yogurt. I could use a treat now that it’s the off-season.” 

 

“Sounds perfect,” Ali grins. “Are you gonna wear that shirt I like?” 

 

Ashlyn raises an eyebrow as she takes another bite of her tortellini alfredo. “What shirt? You have a favorite shirt of mine?” 

 

Ali nods, grinning. She has a lot of favorite shirts Ashlyn wears but one in particular stands out. “That really nice white button down that you wear open at the top. I know it’s really plain and simple but it looks so good on you and every time I saw you in it I had a hard time not making a move.” 

 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Ashlyn says with a wink. 

 

Ali is so hungry after getting off the bus late that they don’t talk much until they’re done eating. Once they get everything cleaned up, the slight awkwardness of their new relationship becomes apparent. Unsure of what to do, Ali busies herself needlessly checking her phone, hoping Ashlyn will take the lead. 

 

“So, uh, this is when we’d usually stay up too late talking,” Ashlyn says. She chews at her bottom lip, a sure sign that she’s more nervous than she’d ever let on. 

 

Ali looks up, immediately reading the nerves in Ashlyn’s body language. Abnormally shy, Ashlyn stands with her hands in her pockets and her gaze slightly downcast. Ali feels a little better knowing she’s not alone in the awkwardness. After months of being just friends, this is a big transition. “We could talk,” Ali half-concedes, though her tone makes it clear that’s not exactly what she wants to do tonight. “Or we could kiss. I mean, we were doing a pretty good job at it in my hotel room yesterday.” 

 

This brings Ashlyn’s usual confidence back and then some. She stands tall again and grins at Ali. “Actually, I was meaning to ask how you liked your first kiss with a woman?” 

 

“I keep coming back for more, don’t I?” 

 

Ashlyn grins as she climbs up the ladder to her bed. When she makes it to the top, she turns around and offers her hand to help Ali up. She licks her lips subconsciously as they get settled sitting across from one another. 

 

Ashlyn is the first one to lean in, pressing her lips against Ali’s. They start slow and sweet, still getting used to the sensations of kissing the other after harboring crushes for so long. Eventually, though, Ali climbs into Ashlyn’s lap and deepens the kiss by sticking her tongue in Ashlyn’s mouth, eliciting a moan from Ashlyn. 

 

Ashlyn tries not to let her hands wander too much but she can’t help gripping Ali’s ass while Ali kisses her like that so as Ali straddles her lap, Ashlyn lets her hands wander Ali’s back and ass. Throughout the last three and a half months, she’s had to stop herself from staring at Ali’s ass longingly more times than she can count and now that she can finally touch, can finally grip it in her hands, she’s going to enjoy every minute of it. 

 

With a fire in her belly, Ashlyn gently tugs at Ali’s lips with her teeth before trailing kisses along her jaw and neck, drawing out moans from Ali that already make her weak. She works Ali’s sensitive skin expertly and when Ali finally pulls away, she’s flushed and breathless. 

 

“God, why did we wait so long?” Ali breathes. “We could’ve been doing this for months.” 

 

“Worth the wait,” Ashlyn grins.

 

“You love my butt,” Ali notes with a knowing smirk. “Good thing I do a lot of squats.”

 

“Al, you have no idea, it’s tortured me for months now. Every time you slept in just your boyshort panties another little part of me died.” 

 

Ali laughs and reaches her hand out, using it to caress Ashlyn’s cheek. 

 

“Poor baby. And I had to deal with your biceps all the time. You and those damn cutoff tanks.” 

 

“Just wait until I have all the tattoos I want then I’ll really give you something to look at.” 

 

Ali grins, imagining all the tattoo designs Ashlyn has detailed to her during their late night talks. She already has enough ideas for her first full sleeve and will likely come up with many more along the way. “And you haven’t seen anything yet either. Just wait until you see what I wear under tight dresses and leggings.” 

 

“Oh, she wants me dead,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

Ali giggles and leans in to kiss Ashlyn again. 

 

Soon, the kissing becomes too much yet not enough at the same time and because she wants to take things slow, Ashlyn finally breaks the kiss. She leans with her back against her headboard and pulls Ali into her arms. “Did I ever tell you how much I appreciate you coming to support me this weekend?” 

 

“No, but I figured you appreciated it,” Ali replies. “I’m your good luck charm there was no way I was gonna stay home when I had the opportunity to go.” 

 

“And what a good luck charm you were.” 

 

“I’m so proud of you, Ash, I knew you could do it.” 

 

Ashlyn grins as she checks her watch. It’s nearly one in the morning now and Ashlyn has to double check to make sure she’s not seeing things. She would’ve sworn it wasn’t much later than ten so she’s floored to realize that they just spent the last five hours making out and talking. “Shit, it’s late and we both have class tomorrow.”

 

Ali gently grabs Ashlyn’s wrist to check the time herself, eyes going wide at how late it is. 

 

She sighs as the awkwardness returns. This time, she’s not sure if Ashlyn feels it too so she sits there quietly, a debate raging in her head about whether she should go back to her own room or stay with Ashlyn. On most nights like tonight, she wouldn’t even have to ask if she should stay. It would simply be an unspoken agreement, part of their normal routine.

 

Now, however, she’s not sure what to do. They agreed to take things slow so even though they’ve done this many times before, does staying the night not count as taking it slow? 

 

“Should I go?” she asks. 

 

“Do you want to leave?” Ashlyn asks. She doesn’t want to push Ali to do anything she’s uncomfortable with and although they’ve slept in this same bed many times before, she knows it’s different now. It’s different for both of them as as much as she’s trying to be calm, she feels just as awkward as Ali. 

 

“No, of course not.”

 

“But it’s different now,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali nods, biting at the inside of her cheek a little. 

 

“Well if it helps you make up your mind, I’m not gonna like… try anything. Just sleeping, you know?” 

 

Ali blushes at Ashlyn’s words and looks down as she balls up her sweatshirt in her hands. She didn’t think Ashlyn would try to take things further than they’re ready for but she knows how these things can happen. As much as she likes Ashlyn and is enjoying the new more intimate parts of their relationship, she knows they’re not ready for the next step so it’s important to take things slow. 

 

_ This is Ashlyn _ , she reminds herself.  _ We’ve done this too many times to count.  _

 

“Why are we being so awkward about this?” she laughs. “It’s not like we haven’t spent the night together before. God, we didn’t even know each other the first time I slept over and we’re acting way more awkward than we did that night.” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs and reaches to take Ali’s hands, pushing Ali’s sleeves up her wrists a little ao she can brush her thumbs against the back of Ali’s hands. “It matters more now. You don’t have to stay if you feel uncomfortable but I love cuddling with you and your face being the first thing I see in the morning.” 

 

Ali grins, meeting Ashlyn’s gaze. She wants to say something witty about how she wishes her own face could be the first thing she sees too but Ashlyn’s eyes are soft and sincere and Ali doesn’t want to ruin the moment by teasing her. Instead of replying, she leans in and softly kisses Ashlyn’s lips. When they break apart, she lies down on her side in their normal position. Ashlyn smiles as she follows her lead, lying on her side facing Ali. 

 

“I know you don’t want to consider this a date but still thank you for a great night,” Ali says. 

 

“Anytime.” She leans forward to give Ali a lingering kiss before pulling back and smiling. “Goodnight, Al.” 

 

“Night, Ash.” 

 

Ashlyn rolls over and as soon as she’s settled, Ali molds her body behind hers with her arm around Ashlyn’s waist. 

 

~

 

By the time the sun starts to peek through the blinds, Ali’s hand has found its way under Ashlyn’s shirt and rests on her skin. She feels embarrassed for a moment and almost pulls her hand away before remembering the events of the last few days. When she remembers, she snuggles even closer to Ashlyn and lightly trails her fingers up and down Ashlyn’s side and stomach. When it seems like Ashlyn is finally starting to wake up, Ali presses a gentle kiss to her shoulder. 

 

“Morning,” Ali says. 

 

Ashlyn just hums in response, not nearly awake enough to say anything. When Ali moves to kiss her cheek, she hides a smile and decides that she’ll pretend to sleep a little longer to see if Ali will do it again. Her plan works and Ali kisses her cheek again as she continues to lazily trace Ashlyn’s skin. Ashlyn loves the feeling of butterflies in her stomach at Ali’s light ministrations and gentle kisses but finally, she can’t pretend anymore so she rolls over to face Ali. “Morning.” 

 

“We really don’t have to go to class, right?” Ali asks. “We could stay in bed all day.”

 

“Like you’re gonna skip the second to last day of classes before exams start.” 

 

“We really should’ve planned this whole thing better,” Ali says. “So we could’ve enjoyed each other more before we’re both stressed about finals and then separated for a few weeks over break.” 

 

“Let’s not think about that right now, okay? Let’s just worry about today and think about how much we look forward to our first date tonight.” 

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ali says. 

 

It takes nearly half an hour before Ali can finally pry herself away from Ashlyn to get ready for her 10:00 class. They’ll both be busy throughout the day so when she says goodbye, she knows they won’t see each other until they leave for their date that night. 

 

She feels giddy all day, even when her most dull professor drones on and on about the coming exam and his expectations for his students. In a way, she’s thankful for her and Ashlyn’s awkward moments the previous night because it forced them to get over it pretty quickly so she doesn’t feel nervous at all for their date. The reason she fell for Ashlyn to begin with is that they clicked easily so there’s no reason why they should make things awkward now that they’ve confessed their feelings. 

 

Bearing in mind that frozen yogurt is a fairly casual date spot, she dresses in her hunter green sweater with embellishments at the neck and a pair of dark wash jeans. Just before Ashlyn is supposed to come over from her own room, Ali touches up her makeup a little after a long day of classes and applies a pale pink lipstick for a more nighttime look than her normal bare lips. 

 

As the clock on her phone ticks slowly towards 8:00, she feels more ready and confident than she’s ever felt before a first date. 

 

~

 

Ashlyn is a bundle of nerves. 

 

She hardly focuses in her classes that day and when evening rolls around, she merely picks at her dinner in the dining hall. She wants everything to be perfect for Ali and once or twice, she second guesses her decision to go somewhere so casual for their first date. Eventually, she decides that although the date spot is fairly casual, it doesn’t mean she can’t go all out and get Ali flowers so she gives up on dinner and heads to the store to pick out a bouquet. 

 

Who knew there were so many flower choices? 

 

Even though she only stopped at the grocery store, Ashlyn is faced with seemingly endless options. She walks back and forth in front of the display of flowers no less than five times as she processes what’s in front of her. She decides early on that she wants something with roses, figuring she can’t go wrong with such a classic, and she remembers hearing that yellow flowers mean friendship which is probably not the best message to send on their first date even though she genuinely does value Ali as a friend. 

 

With these parameters in mind, she ends up selecting a bouquet with red roses, pink carnations, and what she thinks are white lilies though she’s not positive because her knowledge of flowers stops at roses, carnations, and tulips. 

 

She plucks her choses bouquet from the other arrangements surrounding it and holds it over the little bucket for a moment as excess water drips off of the stems. She swivels a little to her right where she uses one hand to pull a clear plastic bouquet bag from the stand next to the flowers and carefully drops the bouquet into the cellophane. 

 

Halfway up to the checkouts, she realizes that Ali probably doesn’t have a vase in her dorm so she scans the signs above head, searching for the glasswares aisle where she picks out a vase that will look nice with the flowers. 

 

The cashier is a woman about Ashlyn’s age (presumably a fellow student) who smiles when she sees the flowers and vase. 

 

“Someone special?” she asks, using her hand scanner to scan the barcode on the flowers so Ashlyn doesn’t have to set them on her register belt. 

 

Ashlyn nods. “I have a first date tonight. Really hoping to impress her.” 

 

“Those are beautiful flowers I’m sure she’ll love them,” the other girl grins. She swipes the bottom of the vase over the glass panel on her register, a little beep confirming that the computer scanned the product code. 

 

The total is a little higher than Ashlyn was expecting but Ali is worth every penny so she gladly puts her card into the card reader and thanks the cashier before heading on her way. 

 

By the time she gets back, she only has half an hour before she said she’d be over so she’s thankful that Ali told her what she should wear so she doesn’t have to think about it. As usual with this particular shirt, she leaves the top three buttons undone and slips into black jeans and black boots. She attaches her gold tone watch to her wrist and slips her long gold chain necklace over her head. She gives herself a once over in the full length mirror just before grabbing the bouquet and the vase and going out in the hallway to knock on Ali’s door. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was gonna post this yesterday but I forgot. whoops. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> next chapter is their first date and some other cute stuff so prepare yourselves for that. In the meantime, tell me your thoughts on this one. 
> 
> Also, is there anything you'd like to see in this fic? I can't promise anything because I have a lot of chapters written already but it could give me ideas as I continue writing their time in college. If you have any specific storylines you'd like to see, let me know :)


	12. Chapter 12

 

Ali suspected that Ashlyn would knock on her door instead of slipping through the bathroom so when Ashlyn knocks, she opens the door almost instantly, grinning at the sight in front of her. Ashlyn shifts nervously but is grinning as she holds a bouquet of red, pink, and white flowers out in front of her, the cellophane crinkling as she moves to hand them to Ali. 

 

“These are for you,” she says. “And I wasn’t sure if you had a vase or not so I got this,” she adds, showing Ali the vase that she’d previously been holding behind her back. 

 

“They’re beautiful and so are you,” Ali says. “Come in for a sec so I can put them in the vase with some water.” She steps backwards into her room, allowing Ashlyn to follow. She takes the vase from Ashlyn’s hand but gives the flowers back to her. “Hold those while I go fill this with water.” 

 

She goes to the bathroom with the vase, using the tub faucet to fill it halfway with water (it was too tall to fill in the sink). When she returns to her room, Ashlyn looks much more relaxed than before. 

 

They take all the wrappings off of the flowers and deposit them into the vase, which Ali holds in her hands for a moment to smell the flowers before setting it on her desk. 

 

“Do you like them?” 

 

“They’re perfect, thank you,” Ali grins. She wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and kisses her quickly. “Okay, let’s go.” 

 

Ashlyn puts her hand on the small of Ali’s back as they walk to the car. She opens the passenger door for Ali and helps her inside before walking around to the other side, taking Ali’s hand in her own as soon as she’s situated. 

 

They chat about their days during the drive and if it weren’t for holding hands, Ali would almost think that it’s a normal evening for them. When she remembers that this is their first date, she feels giddy all over again. 

 

When they arrive, Ashlyn declares that half the fun of getting frozen yogurt is deciding what toppings you want and as Ashlyn fills her bowl, Ali understands why. While Ali selects mixed berries and a little bit of granola, Ashlyn goes for tons of candy and sweets. Ali watches in horror as Ashlyn dumps on spoonfuls of peanut butter cups, marshmallows, gummy bears, cookie dough, Butterfinger, Oreos, and Snickers onto her ice cream before finally moving down the line and drizzling hot caramel and chocolate on top. 

 

“Oh my God, Ash, you’re a child,” Ali laughs. “You have more candy in there than ice cream.” 

 

“That’s how I know it’s gonna be good.” 

 

Ashlyn pays for both of their treats and when they get their bottles of water from the cashier, they turn to find a table.  They both dig in before their frozen yogurt can melt, both enjoying their own very different creations. 

 

“I really can’t believe you’re eating that,” Ali laughs as Ashlyn tries to mix everything a little better. 

 

“It’s really good. Want to try some?” 

 

Ali wants to say no, that she’ll stick to her own but Ashlyn does seem to be enjoying her creation so she decides a little bit won’t hurt her. She sticks her spoon into Ashlyn’s cup and digs out a bite. Even with the gummy bears, she has to admit that Ashlyn's combination is pretty damn good and even though she enjoys her own mix, she can’t help but continue to steal bites from Ashlyn. 

 

“You know,” Ali says after a while, “I was a little surprised that you didn’t want to take me to dinner for our first date. I’m not complaining, obviously, but I was a little surprised.” 

 

“I thought about dinner but I think you can tell a lot about someone based on what frozen yogurt toppings they choose so I figured this would be a good first date idea.” 

 

“And what does my choice say about me?” Ali asks. 

 

“Easy,” Ashlyn begins, “you made a responsible choice, right? You picked the healthiest possible combination but you keep stealing from mine. You like mine but you made the comment about me being a child for choosing it. To me, all of that says that you care about how your choices might seem to outsiders but stealing mine means that you do want to let yourself have a little fun. You’re still working on not caring what others think about you and, you know, you’re just way more responsible than me but we already knew that.” 

 

“What are you? My therapist?” Ali laughs. Ashlyn truly nailed it. “Maybe this is all part of the process I need to go through of learning to not care what other people think of me. Maybe next time I’ll do a combination like yours.”

 

“I’m down,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

When they’re done with their frozen yogurt, Ashlyn drives back to campus. She doesn’t want the night to end so after she parks, she asks if Ali wants to take a walk through campus. Ali gladly accepts so Ashlyn slips her keys into her pocket and takes Ali’s hand as they set off down the sidewalk. 

 

“So you think this was good enough to warrant a second date?” Ali asks as they stroll down the sidewalk together. 

 

“Oh, yeah, maybe even a second and third,” Ashlyn says. “Maybe a fourth if you’re really lucky.” 

 

“I’ll hold you to it,” Ali grins. 

 

They walk in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet of the early December night. Ashlyn can’t help but sneak glances at Ali, thinking about how beautiful she is and how perfect this evening is. They haven’t yet defined their relationship and Ashlyn thinks it’s about time they do. She wants Ali to be her girlfriend, wants the security that comes along with the label. As they approach Old Well at the heart of campus, she stops and faces Ali before she loses her nerve to ask. 

 

“I’ve had such a great time with you tonight and ever since Orlando, really, and I was wondering if you’d, um. If you’d like to be my girlfriend. No pressure or anything but I really, really like you and I want this to be a… thing, you know?” She pauses a takes a deep breath, laughing at herself a little. “Sorry. I would’ve been more eloquent about that but I’m really nervous.” 

 

“You don’t have to be nervous with me,” Ali says. “I’d love to be your girlfriend.” 

 

Ashlyn’s face lights up into a smile. “Yeah?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Cool because I’d love to be your girlfriend too.” Smiling, she puts her hands on Ali’s hips and pulls their bodies flush together. They’re in the middle of campus but they’re too wrapped up in each other to care about anyone who might see. Ashlyn kisses Ali soft and slow, her lips curling into a smile until finally she has to pull back. 

 

They have a bit of a walk back to their dorm on the other side of campus, during which Ashlyn feels like she wants to shout her new relationship status from a rooftop. 

 

Ali is her girlfriend. 

 

Her best friend has feelings for her too and now they’re girlfriends.

 

It all still feels like a dream. She feels like she’ll soon wake up in her dorm and it’ll be before the team left for Orlando, before she and Ali talked about their feelings. Ali gives her hand a little squeeze and Ashlyn smiles over at her. 

 

“This was such a perfect night,” Ali says. “You look so good and you brought me flowers—”

 

“And you ate half my frozen yogurt.”

 

“And I ate half your frozen yogurt,” Ali laughs. “And now you’re my girlfriend. What could be better than that?” 

 

“Nothing.” 

 

All too soon, they arrive back at the dorms and stand right outside Ali’s door.

 

“I think I’m gonna stay in my room tonight,” Ali says. “I know that neither of us really wants this night to end but I have to be up early tomorrow and I always stay up too late with you.” 

 

Ashlyn nods. She gets it, the last few days have been a lot for them and it’ll do them some good to have alone time to process everything and relax going into finals in a few days. “Night,” she says. 

 

“Goodnight,” Ali replies, kissing Ashlyn. 

 

~

 

Ali feels lighter than air as she gets ready for bed. Even before their walk around campus, she couldn’t have imagined the night going any better and to cap it off with Ashlyn asking her to be her girlfriend is almost too perfect to handle. 

 

If you had told her a year ago that she would soon be comfortable enough with her sexuality to have a girlfriend and hold her hand while walking through campus, she wouldn’t have believed you. For so long, she thought that she would never act on her feelings for women so she’d never have to come out if she didn’t want to. It took a lot of self reflection to get to this point and wanting to be the best for Ashlyn was an excellent motivator to get over her lingering fears. 

 

Hannah isn’t home so Ali strips her clothes in the center of the room. She pulls her jeans down her legs and puts them back in her drawer to wear again and drops her sweater into her hamper. Finally, she pulls her bra off and slips a Carolina crewneck sweatshirt over her head. There’s no music playing but she’s in such a good mood that she dances a little as she moves around her room and gets ready for bed. 

 

When she finally checks her phone for the first time in hours, she has a bunch of texts from her Kappa Delta girls asking how the date went. After the night celebrating the team’s success, the four went back to the room where they grilled Ali for details. They knew of the date Ashlyn promised so now that it’s happened, they’re eager to get a full report. 

 

She summarizes the date in the group chat with Becky, Christen, and Heather, smiling as she recounts the night. She tells them about how Ashlyn adorably knocked on her door instead of coming through the bathroom and how nervous she looked standing there with the bouquet of flowers and the thoughtfulness of picking out a vase too. She laughs as she types out Ashlyn’s frozen yogurt combination and tells them that she ended up eating half of hers because it was so much more satisfying than her mixed berries and granola. She tells them about their walk through campus, how quiet and still everything seemed as they stopped in front of Old Well and Ashlyn asked to be girlfriends. 

 

All three women are ecstatic for Ali but Heather can’t help but try to take some of the credit for Ali and Ashlyn finally getting their act together. Ali rolls her eyes at Heather’s text but she allows it because her talk with Heather on the bus ride was a key reason why she finally acted on her feelings. The talk she had with Heather and how proud Ali was after Ashlyn saved two PKs and how  _ good  _ she looked soaking wet from the rain all combined to make the moment completely irresistible. 

 

Just before she climbs up to bed, she smells the bouquet of flowers one more time, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. She climbs into bed and plugs her phone into her ten foot charger and just before she drops it into the basket hanging on the wall by her bed, it lights up with a text from Ashlyn. 

 

_ Goodnight, beautiful. Thanks for a memorable first date.  _

 

Ali smiles as she types out her response. 

 

_ Goodnight, Ash. Hey, did you know that we’re girlfriends now? I kind of can’t believe it.  _

 

Ashlyn’s typing bubble pops up and Ali can imagine her face so clearly. On the other side of the wall from Hannah’s bed, Ali knows that Ashlyn is smiling with her dimple showing. 

 

_ I did know that but I love the reminder. Night.  _

 

~

 

Ali is focused on studying for finals all week, her studious nature rubbing off on Ashlyn a little as they study together in Ashlyn’s room whenever they get a chance. Most of their study breaks in Ashlyn’s room involve making out in Ashlyn’s bed which becomes their favorite study motivator. As long as they hit certain milestones in their studies, they can take breaks to enjoy each other. 

 

“Is it time for a break yet?” Ashlyn asks the afternoon before finals are set to begin. 

 

Ali hums, flipping backwards through her notes and realizing just how far she’s gotten since the last time they took a break. “Yeah, I could use one.” 

 

Ashlyn eagerly climbs up to her bed without another word, eliciting a laugh from Ali who follows her up. 

 

They’ve become much more comfortable with each other over the last few days so Ashlyn lies on her back in bed and Ali climbs on top of her, straddling her hips and leaning down to kiss her. 

 

As they kiss, Ali laces their fingers together and holds Ashlyn’s hands down above her head. Their tongues battle for dominance for a while before Ali starts kissing down Ashlyn’s neck, grinding her hips a little as she works. Ashlyn moans beneath her and finally, it’s not enough for Ali’s hands not to roam so she lets go of Ashlyn’s hands and starts exploring Ashlyn’s body with hers. 

 

Things remain hot and heavy for nearly ten minutes before Ali’s hands start to roam underneath Ashlyn’s shirt. It’s not the first time they’ve gotten this far but they’ve always remained clothed so when she tries to take Ashlyn’s shirt off, Ashlyn stops her. 

 

“Something wrong?” Ali asks. 

 

Ashlyn sighs and runs a hand through her hair and Ali knows that they’re not going to continue. She moves off of Ashlyn, allowing Ashlyn to sit up. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Ashlyn says. “I just—”

 

“You don’t have to explain,” Ali says. 

 

“I want to, though,” Ashlyn replies. “I was really, really enjoying that, don’t get me wrong, but I still want to wait a little while longer. And I know you’re wondering why I would want to wait because I’ve done this before but it’s just different with you.” 

 

“How so?” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “I guess it just matters more with you. With the girls I dated in high school, really the only thing we had in common was liking women and even though I cared about them, I didn’t have the same connection with them as I do with you. I care about you a lot and I think it’s best if we ease into things so by the time it happens we’re fully comfortable with each other and ready for that next step.”

 

“You’re sweet,” Ali says, caressing Ashlyn’s cheek with her hand. As much as her libido was ready to take over, she really does enjoy that they’re taking their time. They’re getting to know each other in the most intimate of ways and she knows that by the time they finally do have sex, they’ll trust one another completely. Besides, they’re both stressed about finals right now and they should get back to studying soon. If nothing else, they owe it to themselves to wait until they’re less stressed and have more time. 

 

~

 

The rest of finals week passes in much the same way. They study together often and spend their breaks in Ashlyn’s bed. When they’re both finally done with finals, they celebrate with a dinner date (Ali’s treat this time) followed by a bottle of wine in Ashlyn’s room. They’re both leaving in the morning for break so they fully plan on spending the night making out in Ashlyn’s bed. 

 

This time, It’s Ashlyn straddling Ali. She works Ali’s neck and the spot behind Ali’s ear that she’s quickly found drives Ali crazy. They’ve just split a bottle of wine so they’re slower than normal and neither is particularly interested in taking things to the next level. 

 

Her hand wanders up Ali’s shirt slightly, gripping Ali’s hip as she kisses her way back to Ali’s mouth, capturing her swollen lips in a long, slow kiss. 

 

When they come up for air, Ali sighs. “Man I wish we weren’t gonna spend the next three weeks apart. I’m gonna miss you.” 

 

“You’re just gonna miss me kissing your neck,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

Ali playfully swats Ashlyn’s arm and rolls her eyes dramatically. “I’m serious, Ash.”

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn says, kissing Ali’s forehead to placate her. “I’ll miss you too but we’ll be okay. We’ll text and Facetime and before you know it, we’ll be right here.”

 

“Right here as in your bed?” Ali asks, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“Oh, I think there’s a good chance we’ll find our way to my bed. We always do, don’t we?” 

 

“It’s a good place to be,” Ali shrugs. She leans in to kiss Ashlyn, the kiss getting deeper and deeper until they’re horizontal once again. She kisses along Ashlyn’s jaw before making her way to her neck, focusing on one spot almost right in the center of Ashlyn’s neck. She nips and sucks this sensitive spot for a few minutes before pulling back and admiring the mark that’s starting to form. 

 

“Please tell me you didn’t just do what I think you did,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali decides to play innocent. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

 

“Did you just leave me a big ass hickey right before I have to go home and see my family.” 

 

“Maybe,” Ali shrugs. 

 

“Jesus, Al,” Ashlyn breathes. She enjoys a good hickey as much as the next person but she doesn’t enjoy them in such an obvious place the night before she goes home for a few weeks, where she’ll have to try to cover it up. 

 

“Just a little something for you to remember me by.” 

 

Ashlyn shakes her head and gently traces her fingers up and down Ali’s forearm. “You just want me to suffer. You want me to see it everyday and remember how much I miss you.” 

 

“Exactly. See, you get it,” Ali grins. 

 

“You’re evil. But I kinda like you anyway.” 

 

“Good because I kinda like you too.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did the date live up to your hopes and expectations? Favorite parts? Any predictions for the rest of the story? We're just getting started ;)


	13. Chapter 13

  


“Miss me yet?” Ashlyn asks when she answers Ali’s call. It’s the morning of first full day at and she has to admit, it feels really good to be home. She misses Ali but it feels good to be back home for the first time in months. The air smells saltier than she remembers, her body unaccustomed to it after her near five month absence.

 

“Maybe a little,” Ali says. “What are you up to?”

 

“Just having coffee on my grandma’s back porch and watching the sunrise.”

 

“That sounds beautiful.”

 

“It is,” Ashlyn agrees. “Here, I’ll switch you to FaceTime.” She moves her phone away from her ear and taps the FaceTime to switch the call over so Ali can see.

 

“Wow, that’s incredible,” Ali says. They’re both quiet as they watch the sunrise and the waves crash to the shore. It reminds Ali of the morning they spent at the lake and she smiles at the memories, feeling thankful that Ashlyn helped turn the sadness and disappointment of Kyle missing Thanksgiving into a beautiful, hopeful memory together. “Reminds me of our day at the lake,” she says. One day we’ll have to take a trip to the coast to watch together in person.”

 

“It’s a date,” Ashlyn says, grinning. “So what has you up so early?”

 

“My mom wants to do some last minute Christmas shopping and I knew you said you’d be up early so I figured I’d call. It’s always kind of lonely here with just me and my parents.”

 

“I’ll keep you company whenever you want,” Ashlyn promises. “How was your drive up?”

 

“Nothing too eventful which was nice. It’s super boring driving that far by yourself but after the stress of finals it was nice to decompress a little. How was your flight?”

 

“I made friends with the lady next to me.”

 

“Of course you did,” Ali laughs.

 

“She was coming down to meet her new nephew. She showed me pics oh my god is he cute. You know I love babies.”

 

“I could’ve sworn you hated children,” Ali teases. Just before she can say anything else, she hears her mom calling her from downstairs to leave for their shopping excursion. They’re braving Tysons Corner Center today and Deb wants to get as early a start as possible. “I gotta go, my mom wants to leave. I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“Bye, Al.”

 

Traffic is as dense as it usually is during the morning rush of people going to work. But with it being a weekday, the mall isn’t too crowded so Ali and Deb agree that the tradeoff was worth it.

 

The early morning chat with Ashlyn puts an extra pep in Ali’s step as they walk through the mall, checking out whatever stores catch their interest. She’s almost always been a morning person but her good mood this morning goes well beyond her usual positive attitude and it doesn’t take Deb long to pick up on it. She lets it slide for a while but when they stop at La Madeleine for lunch, she can’t let it go any longer.

 

“What has you so happy, darling?” Deb asks.

 

“Oh,” Ali says, her face falling as she looks down at her chicken cordon bleu pasta. She debates her options for a moment as she pushes her food around her plate. She could say that she’s just happy to be home and hope that her mom buys it or she could tell her the truth and tell her that she’s met someone and that someone is a woman. The easy lie on her lips, ready to be told when she remembers that her mom was one of few people who gave Kyle unwavering support when he came out so she decides to tell the truth. She’s never kept things from her mom before and now that she’s with Ashlyn, she feels ready to share this part of herself she’s kept hidden for over a year. “I, uh, I’m in a relationship,” she admits.

 

“Oh, Alex, that’s wonderful,” Deb says. “What’s his name? Did you meet him at school?”

 

Ali finally looks up and meets her mom’s excited eyes. “Well the thing is that… it’s, um, she’s a woman. Her name is Ashlyn. You’ve probably heard me talk about her before.” With her big news out there, she relaxes a little that her mom’s smile never falters. In fact, her smile just grows wider.

 

“Oh, I sure do remember that name. I remember you spent half your time on the phone with her over Thanksgiving break. Baby, you didn’t have to keep this from me for that long.”

 

“No, no, it hasn’t been long at all, actually. I mean, I did like her back then but we were just friends. We got together shortly after Thanksgiving break when I went to watch the game in Orlando. She played so well that when she found me in the stands after I was so proud that I couldn’t help but kiss her so we finally talked about our feelings. You have no idea how embarrassed I was that I kissed her in front of so many people,” she says, blushing at the memory. “Then when we got back to school we went on our first date.”  

 

“I’m assuming it went well?”

 

Ali nods, her smile returning. “So well. Okay, so you know how I told you before that she lives right next to me and we share a bathroom so whenever we hang out we usually just go through the bathroom because it’s easier. Well for our date she knocked on my front door and when I opened it, she was standing there with this beautiful bouquet of flowers which was sweet enough as it was but she said she figured I didn’t have a vase in my room so she bought me one when she picked out the flowers. Then we went out for frozen yogurt and when we were done, we went for a walk around campus and she was so nervous and asked me to be her girlfriend.”

 

“She sounds very sweet,” Deb grins. “I’ll have to meet her next time Dad and I come down for a visit.”

 

Ali nods her agreement and looks back down at her pasta.

 

“Something wrong?”

 

“No, I just… thank you for not being weird about me dating another girl. I’ve kind of struggled with my sexuality for a while and part of the reason it took me so long to tell Ash about my feelings for her was because of how I saw some people treat Kyle.”

 

“Baby,” Deb says, taking Ali’s hand across the table. “You know I fully supported Kyle and I fully support you. You’re my babies and as long as the person you’re dating treats you well and makes you happy, I don’t care who they are. Now tell me more about her because you seem very smitten.”

 

Ali blushes yet again but doesn’t deny her mom’s statement. She is smitten with Ashlyn and, if she’s honest, she’s well on her way to in love with Ashlyn. “She’s so great,” she says. “When you and Dad told me that Kyle wasn’t coming for Thanksgiving, she saw that I was really upset and she just held me and played with my hair until I was ready to talk. And then in the morning she woke me up at like 5:30 to go watch the sunrise on the lake and it was just, I don’t know, I realized that she’s someone I wanted to be with.”

 

“I’m glad you met someone like that, honey, and I can’t wait to meet her next time we visit.”

 

~

 

Ashlyn’s brother wakes shortly after she finishes her second cup of coffee. He declares it a perfect day to surf and invites their cousin over for a day in the water. It’s been so long since Ashlyn last surfed that she takes the stairs two at a time to change into her wetsuit. As she changes in front of the mirror, her gaze falls to the massive hickey on her neck. “Jeez, Ali,” she mutters.

 

She presses her fingers to the mark over and over, watching the way it changes colors with slight pressure. On a normal day she might attempt to cover it up with makeup (although she knows it would still be visible) but on a day like today when she’ll be spending hours in the water, there’s not much she can do other than brace herself for merciless teasing.

 

Chris and Corey notice almost immediately. They haven’t even paddled all the way out to catch their first wave yet when Corey points to the spot on her neck. “Studied really hard for your anatomy exam with your girlfriend, huh?”

 

Ashlyn splashes him with water, laughing as he curses at her and slashes her back.

 

“Yeah, Ash, looks like you both got an A on that exam.”

 

“You’re both assholes who are just jealous that Ali is hotter and better than anyone who’d ever be interested in you.”

 

“Oh, she stands up for her girl,” Chris teases.

 

“I hope you get eaten by a shark,” Ashlyn says. She paddles away from the guys, neither of whom can control their laughter, and attempts to catch her first wave of the day. She’s a little rusty after so many months away from the ocean but the muscle memory kicks in soon enough and she ends up catching a lot of good waves during their afternoon in the water.

 

When they return to the house, she showers quickly to rinse the saltwater from her skin and hair before finally checking her phone to see texts from Ali asking if she’s done surfing yet. Ashlyn has just replied that they’re finally back at the house when her phone rings with a FaceTime request. She settles into bed against her headboard and swipes to answer Ali’s call.

 

“Hey, everything okay?”

 

“I told my mom,” Ali says.

 

“Holy shit, really?” Ashlyn exclaims. “Babe, that’s great, I’m so proud of you. What did she say?”

 

“Well we were at the mall and she asked why I was so happy and not gonna lie, I thought about lying for like a hot second and saying something like I’m just happy to be home. But I couldn’t lie to her, not with how important you are to me. So I told her that I’m in a relationship which she of course thought meant that I met a guy. But I told her about you and she was great, Ash. I mean, she was great when Kyle came out but I thought it might be different because I’m her daughter, you know? But she was so happy for me and she said she can’t wait to meet you next time they come visit me at school.”

 

Ashlyn can’t help but smile at Ali’s excitement. It’s a big step not only for Ali personally but for their relationship which Ashlyn feels even more secure in now that she knows Ali thinks she’s worth coming out for. They certainly haven’t hid their relationship so far but Ali telling her parents is so, so much different than holding hands on campus. “Baby, that’s incredible. I know how scary it is and I’m really proud of you for talking to her. So what did you tell her about me? Did you tell her how beautiful and funny and talented I am?”

 

“Something like that, yeah,” Ali says.

 

“Did you tell her about this big ass hickey you left on my neck?” Ashlyn asks. She moves her head to the side and holds her phone so Ali can see her handiwork. “Chris and Corey are never gonna let me live it down.”

 

“Sorry, babe,” Ali laughs. “And, no, believe it or not, I wasn’t compelled to tell her about that little parting gift.”

 

“Did you at least tell her about how I haven’t let you have your way with me yet? Make sure she likes me, ya know?”

 

“I’m not telling my mom about our still non-existent sex life,” Ali laughs. “I mean, if there was actually something to report maybe I’d tell her but…”

 

“Trust me, your mom won’t want to hear about the things I want to do to you any more than you’ll want to tell her.”

 

Ali goes silent and raises her eyebrows in shock. Ashlyn is the one that’s been adamant about waiting, though Ali knows that if Ashlyn did try to take things further that she would put a stop to it herself. They’re not quite ready for that step but that doesn’t mean they can’t talk about sexual things. In fact, Ali thinks it can only help them feel more comfortable with each other.

 

“Yeah, well, your brother won’t see the next place I leave a hickey on you,” Ali says, laughing at Ashlyn’s groan. “You started it.”

 

“You’re not wrong. Seriously, though, I’m so proud of you for telling your mom. Do you think you’ll tell your dad soon? No pressure or anything; I’m just curious.”

 

Ali shrugs. “If it comes up I’ll tell him. I’m kind of hoping that my mom will make a comment or something to prepare him a little so it’s easier when I tell him. He struggled a bit when Kyle came out but he’s much better about everything now because I think he would do anything to have Kyle back to his normal self again, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I can see that. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision but if you do decide to tell him, I’ll be here to talk whether it’s good or bad.”

 

“You’re the best,” Ali grins. “You know, I’m kind of pissed we can’t cuddle these next few weeks. I’m finally back in my full size bed at home and not in a twin bed like at school and I don’t have my girlfriend here to cuddle with. How fair is that?”

 

“Lucky, I just have a twin bed here. I kind of like that you have to sleep close to me at school. It’s nice.”

 

“You just love to cuddle.”

 

“Says the woman who backed all the way up until we were spooning that first night. You can pretend all you want that you hate physical affection but I know you love when we cuddle.”

 

“You don’t have to call me out like that,” Ali laughs.

 

“Sorry, wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation or anything.”

 

~

 

The week leading into Christmas passes in a haze of wrapping presents, baking and decorating cookies, and preparing the house to have the family over on Christmas. Ali misses Ashlyn more every day but they make it a point to talk on the phone in the evening before bed as well as texting and snapchatting throughout the day.

 

On Christmas morning, Ali and her parents are still sitting around the living room after opening presents when Ali’s phone lights up with an incoming FaceTime call from Ashlyn. Ali grabs her phone off of the coffee table and nearly runs out of the room to answer the call in her bedroom, far away from her parents.

 

“Merry Christmas, Al,” Ashlyn grins when Ali’s face appears on her screen.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Ali says.

 

“How was your morning? Get anything good?”

 

“Mostly the usual: some new clothes—”

 

“You definitely needed more clothes,” Ashlyn teases.

 

Ali shrugs. “Gotta look good,” she says, sassily tossing her hair over her shoulder. “A lot of it was Kappa Delta stuff. A new sweatshirt, sweatpants, and then they gave me a Kappa Delta phone case. When I opened it I saw it was for the iPhone 8 and I was like ugh, old people, because I thought they just messed up, you know? So I told them that I loved it but I don’t have the 8 and then guess what?”

 

“They gave you the gift receipt?” Ashlyn says. She knows exactly where this is going but she figures it can’t hurt to play dumb so Ali can finish her story.

 

“No,” Ali laughs. “That would’ve been cruel. Well, at first they acted like we could exchange it and they opened a few of their own presents and then my dad pulled a box from way back behind the tree and was like ‘oh, Alex, I found another one for you’.”

 

“And it was a puppy?” Ashlyn teases. “Wait, Alex?” she asks.

 

Ali nods, blushing a little at hearing Ashlyn use her childhood nickname. Only her parents and Kyle have ever called her Alex so to hear Ashlyn say it is a little odd (though she strangely loves it). “That’s what my family calls me.”

 

“It’s cute. I think it suits you.”

 

“Thanks,” Ali grins. “Anyway, it wasn’t a puppy, it was the new phone. I was hoping they would get it for me because my 6 has been kind of acting up recently so I’m really excited to set it up before everyone gets here. What about you? What was your favorite present this year?”

 

Ashlyn pretends to think for a moment, tapping her chin with her pointer finger. “You,” she finally says, grinning as she watches Ali’s reaction.

 

“I don’t think that counts,” Ali says, smiling widely at Ashlyn’s response. Her girlfriend always seems to know exactly what to say to make her melt.

 

“It counts if I want it to,” Ashlyn shrugs. “Anyway, my grandparents got me a new surfboard so that was definitely my favorite. They tried to wrap it and everything and I pretended like I couldn’t figure out what it was until they got frustrated and said they should’ve known to just give it to me unwrapped.”

 

“You’re such a shit,” Ali laughs.

 

“Maybe just a little.”

 

They chat for a few more minutes before they decide they better rejoin their families. When Ali returns to the living room, both of her parents are still on the couch where she left them. They’re drinking coffee and talking quietly and when Ali drops down onto the other couch, her dad looks over.

 

“Mom told me that must’ve been your someone special,” Ken says.

 

“It was,” Ali says. If it were any other day, she might leave it at that, knowing that her dad won’t press for information but it’s Christmas and she’s in such a good mood from the holiday and talking to Ashlyn that she decides to go for it. “It was my girlfriend,” she says, bracing herself for whatever he might say.

 

“Girlfriend, huh?”

 

Ali nods, still trying to read his reaction.

 

“You seemed pretty happy when she called,” Ken notes.

 

“I was. She makes me happy.”

 

“She’s good to you?”

 

Ali nods again. “She’s my best friend.”

 

“Tell her we said hi.”

 

“I will,” Ali grins.

 

~

 

While Christmas was all about family, New Year’s Eve is all about spending time with friends. One of Ali’s closest friends from high school, Liz, got permission from her parents to host a small New Year’s Eve party while they’re out of town for the holiday. Ali is invited, of course, so she goes to the mall with Liz to find a dress the morning of the party.

 

She and Ashlyn have gotten a little bolder with their texts recently and Ali knows that picking a short, glittery dress for NYE is the best way to tease Ashlyn a little.

 

Even in just the first store they visit, Ali and Liz both end up with a handful of dresses to try on each, many of which they plan on trading in the fitting rooms for the other to try on as well. Almost every dress is bodycon and very, very short so as Ali slips into the first dress, she smiles deviously at how much Ashlyn will love (and hate) getting these pictures. The first dress is completely covered in emerald green sequins. It’s one of the more demure looks with long sleeves and a fairly high neckline but it’s short and tight and if Ali knows anything about Ashlyn, it’s that she loves her legs.

 

She snaps a photo in the mirror, firing it off to Ashlyn before asking Liz if she’s ready to see each other’s first options.

 

“Oh, Ali, that is gorgeous on you,” Liz says as they stand in the hallway just outside of their fitting rooms. “Then again, everything is gorgeous on you.”

 

“I just sent a photo to Ash. I think she’s gonna flip,” Ali laughs. “Do we think it’s a little too Christmassy?”

 

Liz shrugs, looking at the emerald green ensemble. “Yeah, maybe a little,” she decides. “If it were navy or gold or black, I would say get it but I think you’re right.”

 

The second dress Ali tries on has a similar neckline but is short sleeved. It’s mostly gold sequins but shows some of the black stretchy material making a design of stripes going in different directions. She definitely likes it but she knows it was one of Liz’s favorite dresses so she might defer to Liz on this one if she wants it. Even still, she sends a mirror selfie to Ashlyn, making sure to angle herself the right way so her ass is on display in the dress.

 

Ashlyn’s response makes Ali giggle.

 

_You’re killing me._

 

_You haven’t seen anything yet ;)_

 

Ali is reluctant to try the next dress on. With spaghetti straps and a combination of a low neckline and a high hemline, it’s by far the sexiest dress they’d picked. In fact, she didn’t even want to pull it off of the rack but Liz insisted she at least try it on.

 

Ali has to admit, it is a really pretty dress. The champagne colored material feels more luxurious than the $50 price tag would suggest and there is just enough sparkle in the elaborate floral designs made out of sequins. There’s also a satin band around the waist, which Ali thinks really makes the entire look. As beautiful as it is, she worries that it’ll show a little too much skin for her taste.

 

“Liz, are you really gonna make me try this one on? There’s gonna be a lot of skin.”

 

“That’s exactly why you need to try it on,” Liz says from her fitting room next to Ali’s. “There’s no harm in trying it on and besides, just think about how Ash will react when she gets a photo of you in it.”

 

“Okay but only because I want to torture her with this photo,” Ali agrees.

 

She slips the dress on, finding out that there’s almost no back to speak of, and when she has it zipped up, she blushes as she looks at herself in the mirror. It’s even more low cut than she thought and she knows there’s no way she would wear something like this in public.

 

Ashlyn’s response, though, is the best one yet.

 

_Holy shit. Holy SHIT. You’re so hot. Please get that one I’m begging._

 

_Sorry to let you down, babe, but it’s a little too revealing for my taste. I figured you’d enjoy the pic though._

 

_You know me so well._

 

In the end, Ali picks a champagne and gold sheath dress with a jewel neckline. Most of the dress is covered in gold sequins but, like the black and gold dress, the lining shows through to make an almost chevron pattern. It’s short and sparkly and perfect for New Year’s Eve without compromising Ali’s personal style in the way the other dress did.

 

With their dresses purchased, Ali and Liz wander the mall for a while before ending up in Victoria’s Secret to use the giftcard Liz got for Christmas.

 

“You should get something nice to go under your dress,” Liz suggests as they browse the bras and panties.  

 

“Why? It’s not like anyone is going to see it,” Ali says. “The only person who would see it is Ash and she’s in Florida so.”

 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself,” Liz says.

 

Ali shrugs. Liz is right and besides, she can always use new bras and panties. They separate to look around the store and when Ali checks her phone, there’s another text from Ashlyn.

 

_Hey, what happened to the dress pics? I was enjoying that._

 

_Sorry. Already made my choice. We’re in Victoria’s Secret now._

 

_Oooh, can I help with that too? I’m a good helper._

 

Ali blushes as she types her response. Sending Ashlyn pictures of herself in short dresses was one thing but sending photos in lingerie is another thing altogether. She bites her lips as she types her reply.

 

_Nope. I think I can handle this one on my own ;)_

 

After browsing the store, Ali settles on a black lace bra and panty set that’s comfortable enough for everyday wear. When Liz is finally done making her purchases, it’s late in the afternoon and they have to head back to Liz’s house to get ready for the party.

 

With her parents away, Liz agrees to sleep in their room for the night which frees up her room for Ali while their other friends will have to duke it out between the guest room, the couches, and the living room floor.

 

Ali hasn’t seen many of these friends since they all moved away to college so she ends up reconnecting with these old friends and tells most of them about her relationship with Ashlyn, getting mushier and mushier in the way she talks about her with each additional glass of champagne.

 

She’s really enjoying herself and her time with high school friends but when the clock strikes midnight and she doesn’t have Ashlyn there to kiss, she gets a little sad and sneaks away to FaceTime her girlfriend.

 

“I was just about to call you,” Ashlyn says, the sound of muffled music and celebration behind her at her own friend’s party.

 

“This sucks,” Ali says. “I should be kissing you right now.”

 

 _Next year,_ Ashlyn thinks. Next year they’ll spend this holiday together no matter what they have to do. She doesn’t say it out loud, not wanting to get too far ahead of themselves but she promises herself that no matter what, a year from now they’ll be sharing a midnight kiss. “On the bright side, we’re officially one day closer to being back on campus together.”

 

“We’re almost there,” Ali says. “I’ll let you get back to your party, I just wanted to say hi.”

 

“See ya, Al.”

 

“Bye, Ash.”

 

Ali’s already feeling a little buzzed but when she goes back down to the party, Liz has another glass of champagne for her and a sympathetic smile. “Figured you were missing your girl and would need this.”

 

Ali downs the champagne and pushes the sadness out of her mind. One day, Ashlyn will be her New Year’s kiss and all this will be a memory.

 

The party continues for another hour or so before everyone grows tired and decides to either Uber back home or crash where they are. Ali heads up to Liz’s bedroom alone and strips her dress off in the middle of the room to change into her pajamas. When she looks down at her black lace bra and panties, she remembers Ashlyn’s text from earlier asking for Victoria’s Secret photos. Just drunk enough to be more bold than normal, Ali decides to give Ashlyn a little something. She lies on her stomach on the bed and crosses her feet as she bends her knees at a 90 degree angle. She pushes her hips up towards the ceiling just a little so her butt rises into the air, showing it off a little. When she’s settled, she opens snapchat on her phone and aims the camera over her shoulder so the frame catches the back of her bra but more importantly, the top of her black lace thong and her exposed cheeks.

 

_Wish you were here xoxo_

 

After double, triple checking that she’s only sending the photo to Ashlyn, she closes her eyes and hits send. She refreshes her snapchat account over and over again for a few minutes before she finally sees that Ashlyn opened the photo. Another few minutes pass without a response and just as she’s beginning to regret her decision, she receives a photo from Ashlyn.

 

Like her own photo, she can’t see Ashlyn’s face at all but what she does see makes her suck in a deep breath. Ashlyn opened her dress shirt and pulled her suit pants down a little to expose her grey Calvin Klein bra and the waistband of her matching boxers.

 

_Mine aren’t lacy like yours._

 

Ali swipes right to chat.

 

_Baaaabe you’re such a tease._

 

_Me? You snapped me first, remember?_

 

_I know but god your body. I need a cold shower._

 

_Glad you liked it ;)_

 

With the image of Ashlyn’s toned abdomen in her mind, Ali is even more eager to go back to school than ever before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little bit of long distance before they're back at school. 
> 
> favorite parts? things you hope to see?


	14. Chapter 14

****  


Ali idles in her car outside the arrivals terminal at the airport, excitedly searching the crowd for her girlfriend every time it seems another plane has landed.

 

Ali arrived back on campus earlier that day and had just long enough to unpack and relax a little before she had to pick Ashlyn up from the airport. She arrived obnoxiously early, unwilling to be even a second late, and spent nearly an hour in the cell phone lot before Ashlyn texted that they landed. As she waits in front of arrivals, she alternates between checking her rearview mirror for any sign that the police officer is going to come up and tell her she has to move, looking at her phone for an update from Ashlyn, and scanning people milling about inside the airport.

 

Just as she’s about to check her phone again, she catches sight of Ashlyn coming through the rotating doors. Once outside, Ashlyn scans the row of cars until she finally spots Ali waving at her. Though she’s weighed down by a backpack and her checked bag, she runs towards Ali, a massive smile on her face.

 

Ali closes the gap as much as she can without straying too far from her car and when they’re finally close enough, Ashlyn drops the handle of her suitcase and takes Ali into her arms, lifting her up and spinning around.

 

“I missed you so much,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn.

 

After nearly three weeks apart, both women forget where they are for a moment as they kiss deeply in the middle of the sidewalk. There are tons of other people around but no one seems to pay any attention to them--they’re all too busy greeting their own loved ones to care.

 

Ashlyn holds Ali in her arms as they kiss, finally setting her down when they pull apart. “Missed you too,” she says.

 

They end up kissing over Ali’s center console at every stoplight on the way home until they get too caught up in what they’re doing that the car behind them honks when the light turns green and they still haven’t moved. When they finally arrive back on campus, they go right to Ashlyn’s room.

 

Ashlyn drops her bags right inside the door and spins around, grabbing Ali’s waist and pulling her close. They have nearly three weeks worth of kissing to make up for so things get heated quickly. After a few minutes of kissing in the middle of Ashlyn’s room, Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand and leads her up to the bed. With Ali on her back, Ashlyn takes the lead.

 

She kisses Ali’s lips, the lips she missed so much over these last few weeks.

 

She kisses Ali’s neck, remembering how much she loves the way Ali can’t help but let a moan escape.

 

Their hands roam over each other’s bodies until Ali gently nudges Ashlyn’s shirt up.

 

Ashlyn smiles as she pulls her t-shirt and bra over her head, exposing herself to Ali for the first time. For a moment, it looks like Ali’s eyes are going to roll into the back of her head, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. “Like what you see?”

 

“Very much so,” Ali says. She reaches out, pressing her fingertips to Ashlyn’s exposed abdomen. She slowly trails her hands up to Ashlyn until she finally cups Ashlyn’s breasts.

 

Ashlyn closes her eyes, leaning into Ali’s gentle touch.

 

“You’re beautiful,” Ali says. Then, without warning, she sits up and removes her own shirt, before settling back onto the pillow.

 

Ashlyn’s breath catches in her throat and she mimics Ali’s actions from moments ago. She touches Ali’s skin, slowly making her way towards Ali’s breasts. When she finally palms them, she leans down to capture Ali’s lips in a kiss again.

 

The kiss immediately becomes fervid. Ashlyn holds herself above Ali, their bare chests brushing and adding fuel to the fire. Finally, Ashlyn pulls back.

 

“How do you feel?” she asks, sitting back on her heels.

 

“Well I was really enjoying that,” Ali says.

 

“I know that but how do you feel about… all of this?”

 

Ali ponders the question for a moment, realizing that she’s much more nervous than she originally thought. “Nervous. Really, really nervous.”

 

“Why nervous?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I just,” Ali begins, sitting up in bed to face Ashlyn better, “I only had sex a few times with my high school boyfriend and it honestly wasn’t great. And it’s different with a woman, you know? It’s a little more intimidating because I want to be good for you.”

 

Ashlyn takes a while to respond and for a moment, Ali worries that she said the wrong thing. But Ashlyn takes her hand and looks at her sympathetically. “Ali, I love you and I want you to be comfortable. I would never rush you and I know we may have gotten a little carried away just now, I don’t want you to feel pressured if you’re not ready.”

 

_I love you._

 

Ashlyn says it so nonchalantly that Ali wonders if she even meant to say it. She’s so fixated on those three little words that she hardly hears the rest of Ashlyn’s sentence. “You love me?” she asks, voice cracking with emotion.

 

Ashlyn is confused for a second before she realizes that she did say that she loves Ali. It’s something she’s felt for a while and it slipped off of her tongue so easily that she didn’t even notice. “Of course I do,” she finally says. “I loved you before we even started dating.”

 

“I love you too,” Ali grins. She leans in to kiss Ashlyn, painfully aware that they still don’t have shirts on. When they part, she pulls her t-shirt back over her head, prompting Ashlyn to do the same.

 

“We, uh, we don’t have to take the next step tonight because I really do want you to feel fully ready when we do have sex but I want you to know that you don’t have to be nervous,” Ashlyn says. “I mean, it’s not that hard to figure out I’m sure you’ll catch on pretty quickly. You know what feels good for yourself, right? Like, do you masturbate at all?”

 

Ali blushes a deep scarlet, caught off guard by Ashlyn’s question.

 

“If you’re not comfortable talking about this with me then it’s probably good for us to wait a little longer,” Ashlyn says gently when Ali doesn’t answer.

 

“No, no, it’s not that,” Ali says. “I was just caught off guard. Yes, I do. I’ve actually, uh, been doing it a lot more recently.”

 

Now it’s Ashlyn’s turn to blush. “You have?”

 

Ali nods. “I, uh, get a little worked up just making out sometimes so I take care of it myself.”

 

“Is that why you’re, like, always occupying the shower?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Ali shrugs, a smirk on her lips as she looks down to pick at a hangnail. She truly can’t believe they’re having this conversation right now but Ashlyn was right, they need to be able to have these discussions. If they were dating casually, it wouldn’t be as important to have these conversations but both women want this relationship to stand the test of time so it’s imperative that they have open and honest communication. “Partly,” Ali admits. “It’s the only place I can do it when Hannah is around.”

 

“God, it must be awful to have a roommate who actually lives with you,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

“It’s not great but it’s all part of the normal freshman experience, I guess,” Ali says. She takes Ashlyn’s hand, ready to get the conversation back on track. “Thank you for being so great about taking things slow.”

 

“Al, I respect you a lot there was no way I was gonna rush you. Besides, I think it’s good that we’re making this transition as smooth as possible. I spent so long crushing on you that I’m enjoying each additional step we take and savoring everything.”

 

“You’re sweet,” Ali says. She moves to rest her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder, sighing contentedly to be back in her girlfriend’s embrace after the long holiday break.

 

~

 

Classes resume the following day and as they ease into the new semester, Ali and Ashlyn get closer and closer to taking the next step in their relationship. After finally saying ‘I love you’, there’s a palpable shift in their relationship that would be impossible to ignore.

 

All week, Ali feels antsier than normal every time she goes over to Ashlyn’s, wondering if this will be the time. She even starts wearing nice undergarments under her pajamas when she goes to Ashlyn’s in anticipation of the elusive next step. That is, until Ashlyn notices.

 

They’re in the middle of a particularly steamy makeout session when Ashlyn pushes Ali’s shirt up a little, finding that Ali is wearing a lace bra. Ali doesn’t usually wear bras under her sweatshirts at night so it’s surprising enough that Ashlyn breaks the kiss. She runs her thumb along the bottom edge of the bra and meets Ali’s eyes.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“It’s a bra, Ash. I know it might look different from yours because it doesn’t have a Nike logo on it but it’s a bra, babe.”

 

Ashlyn can’t roll her eyes hard enough. “Oh, gee, thanks. I’ve never seen one before.”

 

“Glad I could help,” Ali teases.

 

“I’m serious, though, why are you wearing it? It can’t be comfortable to wear at night.”

 

“It’s not,” Ali says. “But a girl has to be prepared.”

 

“Oh my God,” Ashlyn laughs. “How long have you been doing this?”

 

“All week. Don’t laugh at me.” Ali pulls her shirt back down and crosses her arms over her chest, pouting a little.

 

“Al, no, that’s not what I meant,” Ashlyn says. “I think it’s cute but, babe, you don’t need to try to impress me. I love you and I promise I’m not gonna care what you’re wearing because I’ll be too focused on you.”

 

Ali smiles and uncrosses her arms. “Honestly, thank God you noticed. I really don’t want to have to sleep in this for another night or sneak into the bathroom again to take it off.”

 

“Yeah, get rid of it.”

 

Ali sits up and unclasps her bra from behind her back, sliding it out of her sweatshirt sleeve and tossing it to the floor.

 

“Better?”

 

Ali nods. “Much.”

 

~

 

That weekend, the soccer team finally celebrates the win with a massive party. They didn’t have much time to celebrate after returning from Orlando because it was finals week followed by break so now that everyone is back on campus, they’re ready for a massive bash. Nearly every student athlete on campus is invited (though many don’t show) and Kelley even has Ali and Heather extend an invite to the Kappa Deltas now that the women’s soccer team and the sorority are intertwined.

 

They both decide to get ready in Ashlyn’s room so as Ashlyn buttons up her black and white checkered flannel and rolls the sleeves halfway up, Ali strips out of the leggings she’s been wearing all day. Ali has her back to Ashlyn so Ashlyn has a full view of Ali’s ass in her thong, stirring desire deep in Ashlyn’s belly. She immediately recognizes the lacy thong from Ali’s snapchat on New Year’s Eve and her pulse quickens at the memory.

 

Ali knows exactly what she’s doing and smirks as she continues changing with her back towards Ashlyn, knowing that her girlfriend is likely enjoying the little show. Over the last week, she’s come to the realization that even if they waited ten years to have sex, she’d still be a little nervous during their first time together. She’s as ready as she’ll ever be and she has big plans for the night.

 

Ali dresses in a tight black crop top with short sleeves and a maroon skater skirt, leaving a little strip of skin exposed on her stomach as well as her long legs. When she spins around to face Ashlyn, she would swear that Ashlyn is actually drooling.

 

“Ready, babe?” Ali asks as innocently as possible.

 

Ashlyn clears her throat and nods. “Yep.”

 

The party is in full swing when they arrive. Both women have a keen sense of where they want the night to go so they both opt for mix drinks which they plan on nursing as long as possible so they’re not drunk when they decide to go back to the dorms.

 

For as much as they want to be touching each other—really touching each other—they spend the first hour with their respective circles. Ashlyn socializes with her teammates and other student athletes while Ali chats with Heather, Allie, Becky, and Christen across the room. Every so often, the center of the room clears enough for them to catch a glimpse of one another until it’s too much.

 

When Ali has had enough, she excuses herself from her friends and turns to meet Ashlyn’s eyes across the room. She nods her head towards the stairs, hoping Ashlyn will catch her drift and follow her to the bathroom on the second floor.

 

It works like a charm.

 

Ashlyn excuses herself and follows Ali up the stairs, catching a peek of Ali’s thong under her short skirt and licking her lips subconsciously. When they make it to the bathroom, neither woman even bothers to check if anyone is looking before Ali grabs Ashlyn by the hand and tugs her into the bathroom.

 

Ashlyn kicks the door closed with her shoe, not caring that it slams a little as Ali connects their lips. She grips Ali’s hips right where Ali’s crop top fails to meet the waistband of her skirt while Ali grips Ashlyn’s biceps.

 

“You’ve been staring all night,” Ali says between kisses.

 

“Yeah, well, you made a show out of taking your leggings off earlier,” Ashlyn says.

 

Ali pushes Ashlyn back against the door, their bodies pressed together from head to toe. They kiss each other deeply, tongues battling for dominance as Ashlyn’s hands roam under Ali’s crop top. After a few minutes, Ashlyn uses her knee to part Ali’s thighs and Ali grinds down a little, desperate for friction. Then, suddenly, Ashlyn pulls her phone out of her back pocket and starts tapping around on it as Ali kisses her neck. When Ali realizes what Ashlyn is doing, she pulls away, thoroughly confused.

 

“What the fuck,” Ali groans. “Did you forget you have an assignment due or something?”

 

“Nope,” Ashlyn says, holding her phone in hand. She kisses Ali’s forehead, lips lingering for a moment. “I ordered us an Uber. We’re not doing this in a bathroom at a party.”

 

“Doing what?” Ali asks, batting her eyelashes.

 

“Oh, you know what. Our first time is not gonna be in a bathroom. The car will be here in—” she checks the estimate on her phone, “three minutes.”

 

Ali nods and takes a deep breath as Ashlyn leads the way out of the bathroom so they don’t get carried away again and miss their Uber ride.

 

As much as she wants to slip out unnoticed, Ashlyn knows her teammates might worry if she suddenly disappears. Standing on the bottom step of the stairs, she scans the living room to find Kelley talking to Alex and Heather. She takes Ali’s hand and leads the way over to their friends.

 

“Hey, we’re gonna get going,” Ashlyn says. “I’m a little tired.”

 

“Bullshit,” Kelley laughs. “You’re gonna go have sex. I appreciate you not using my bed, honestly.”

 

“Good thing I didn’t plan on coming to the dorm tonight,” Alex says.

 

“You gonna chime in too?” Ali asks, looking at Heather.

 

“Just be safe and wash your hands first,” Heather replies.

 

“Excellent advice,” Kelley says.

 

“You guys are the worst,” Ashlyn sighs. She takes Ali’s hand again, leading her outside as their friends whistle and cheer behind them. “Can you remind me why we keep those goons around?”

 

“I think we’re kinda stuck with them,” Ali laughs. They’re quiet as they get into the car and Ali jiggles her leg nervously while Ashlyn makes conversation with the driver. They still don’t say much as they walk to Ashlyn’s room but once they’re inside, Ashlyn turns and smiles at Ali.

 

“I love you,” she says.

 

“I love you too,” Ali says, wondering if Ashlyn can hear her how quickly her heart is beating.

 

Ashlyn kisses Ali softly before turning and climbing up the ladder to her bed, prompting Ali to follow. They start soft and slow, starting from the beginning rather than picking up where they left off at the party. Ashlyn savors every moment as they kiss and when she kisses down Ali’s neck, she inhales the scent of Ali’s perfume deeply, burning this night into her memory. When it’s not enough, she helps take Ali’s shirt and bra off before letting Ali help undo the buttons on her own shirt.

 

This satisfies them for a while as they explore each other's chests with their hands and tongues but eventually, it’s not enough either. Ali wordlessly cants her hips, allowing Ashlyn to pull her skirt down her legs and toss it to the floor.

 

“Yours too,” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn wiggles out of her jeans and underwear, tossing them over the edge of the bed. She moves back to Ali, kissing her abdomen and gripping her thighs as she makes her way down to her panty line. Ali cants her hips again and Ashlyn very slowly removes the black lace thong.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Al,” Ashlyn says, taking in the sight of her naked girlfriend.

 

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Ali grins.

 

Ashlyn smiles as she kisses her way back towards Ali’s mouth, taking her into her arms. “How do you feel?”

 

“Really fucking nervous,” Ali laughs. “But I want this.”

 

Ashlyn brushes some hair from Ali’s face and meets her gaze. “It’s just me, baby. It’s just me.”

 

Ali nuzzles into Ashlyn’s neck and nods. It is just Ashlyn, the same woman who invited her in that first night without expecting anything in return. It’s Ashlyn, the woman who quite literally picked her up off of the floor the night she found out that Kyle relapsed and wouldn’t be attending Thanksgiving. It’s Ashlyn, her best friend, someone she’d trust with her life. She presses a kiss to Ashlyn’s freckled shoulder and whispers, “touch me, please.”

 

Ashlyn doesn’t need to be told twice. He left arm still underneath Ali in an embrace, she lightly trails her right hand from Ali’s shoulder down her body. She stops and gives Ali’s nipples one last little pinch before continuing her journey and finally settling her hand between Ali’s legs. After making out for over half an hour, she’s unsurprised to find how wet Ali is as she strokes her with her fingers.

 

Nervous no longer, Ali moans out Ashlyn’s name against her shoulder and resists the urge to bite down in pleasure. Ashlyn expertly works her fingers but the pace isn’t nearly fast enough for Ali’s liking. “Faster, please,” she pleads, tangling her hands in Ashlyn’s hair.

 

Ashlyn shakes her head. She wants this to last and she knows it probably won’t take long for Ali to come if she picks up the pace. “Patience, love,” she says, kissing Ali’s forehead. “Just relax and enjoy yourself.”

 

Ali groans at Ashlyn’s response and Ashlyn can’t help the smirk on her face at her frustrated girlfriend. She continues stroking Ali in what she knows must be an agonizingly slow pace, enjoying the way Ali grinds down to get as much friction she possibly can.

 

“Ash, please,” Ali whines after a few minutes. “You’re killing me.”

 

Ashlyn relents a little, speeding up her movements, much to Ali’s delight.

 

“Oh, God,” Ali moans, still moving her hips in time with Ashlyn’s fingers.

 

Ashlyn can tell Ali is closeby the way she starts moaning and her body heats up so she decides to change things up a little, finally pushing two fingers into Ali and using the palm of her hand to continue stimulating her hip. Ali sucks in a shallow breath at the change and Ashlyn smiles at the effect she’s having on her girlfriend.

 

“I’m so close.”

 

“Let go, I’ve got you.”

 

Ali lets out a breathy moan against Ashlyn’s shoulder as she finally comes undone around her fingers.

 

Ashlyn slows her movements and kisses Ali’s forehead as Ali recovers from her orgasm. When Ali finally comes down from her high, Ashlyn kisses her softly and brings her fingers up to her mouth to clean them. Ali still seems a little dazed for a moment and Ashlyn kisses her again, trying to bring her back down to earth.

 

“You okay?”

 

Ali nods slowly. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

“Was it good?”

 

Ali nods again, a soft smile on her face. “I mean, other than you trying to torture me when I needed you to go faster.”

 

“Made the payoff that much sweeter,” Ashlyn says.

 

“We’ll see if you remember that when I torture you.”

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn deeply, her hand finding its way between Ashlyn’s legs without breaking their kiss. She feels a little clumsy at first but Ashlyn doesn’t seem to mind as she moans into the kiss. This is all the fuel Ali needs to quicken her pace so she breaks the kiss and concentrates on using her fingers to push Ashlyn towards edge.

 

“It’s not gonna take long,” Ashlyn says through her moans, grinding her hips against Ali’s fingers. She knew Ali would catch on quickly but she didn’t think she’d expertly work her fingers like this during their first time together. She even changes up her pace every so often, driving Ashlyn absolutely wild in the best and worst ways. Once or twice, Ali has her within seconds of orgasm only to slow her pace or completely stop moving, causing Ashlyn to groan in frustration.

 

“That’s what you get,” Ali teases.

 

“Please, baby,” Ashlyn whines.

 

Ali starts moving again and uses Ashlyn’s strategy from earlier and slips two fingers into her girlfriend, easily finding her g-spot and applying pressure.

 

“Jesus fuck,” Ashlyn groans.  

 

Ali’s name tumbles off of Ashlyn’s lips as she comes and they’re both out of breath as Ali collapses into Ashlyn’s arms.

 

“You’re amazing,” Ashlyn says, running a hand through Ali’s hair. “I am so lucky that you’re mine.”

 

“You’re just saying that because I made you come, like, thirty seconds ago,” Ali teases.

 

“No, I mean it, Al. Everything about you is incredible and I’m so lucky you’re in my life and that you fell for me as hard as I fell for you.”

 

“Funny, because I think I’m the lucky one.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait I was gonna post the other day and was busier than I expected and the site was down last night so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> as always, I love reading your thoughts, especially on this one for obvious reasons ;)


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

Ali stretches her body as best as she can without disturbing Ashlyn, a contented sigh escaping her lips as she raises her arms above her head and arches her back. She settles back into Ashlyn’s arms and presses a gentle kiss to her girlfriend’s bare shoulder. She studies Ashlyn’s body, taking time to appreciate every little curve and detail. She’s so wrapped up in appreciating Ashlyn’s body that she doesn’t realize she’s awake until Ashlyn laughs, startling her a little.

 

“Like what you see?”

 

Ali blushes and buries her head against Ashlyn’s neck in embarrassment.

 

“It’s okay,” Ashlyn laughs, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Ali’s head. “Trust me, I would’ve been doing the same thing if I woke up first. How did you sleep?”

 

“So well,” Ali says.

 

“Me too,” Ashlyn grins.

 

They cuddle in silence for a few minutes, both of them still reeling from last night. Neither can quite believe that it finally happened but now that it has, they feel more connected than ever.

 

“Did you enjoy yourself last night?” Ashlyn asks quietly as she runs a hand through Ali’s hair.

 

Ali pulls back from Ashlyn’s embrace a little to meet her eyes as she nods. “It was better than I ever could have imagined.”

 

“Better than your high school boyfriend?” Ashlyn teases.

 

“God, there’s no comparison,” Ali laughs. “Honestly, being celibate would’ve been better than him. But you were… amazing. You always are.”

 

“You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

 

“What are your plans for the day?” Ali asks.

 

“I think I’m gonna start applying for jobs.” It’s something Ashlyn has considered ever since the soccer season ended and now that they’re back on campus and settled into the new semester, it’s time to start looking. Her soccer scholarship covers tuition, her dorm, and a meal plan but she definitely needs some income after living off of her savings during the fall semester. “I need money and now that it’s not soccer season, I can have a job.”

 

“Oh, that’s great, Ash. Where are you thinking of applying?”

 

“Probably a lot of on campus places. Coffee shops, the library, the dining hall checkouts. I’ve heard those places are a little more understanding about me not being able to work during the fall semester and I can come back when I’m able. I think the library is ideal because it’s pretty low stress and I can study and do homework while I’m there if I’m at the circulation desk.”  

 

“Becky works at the library; I bet she could put in a good word for you. I’m actually going to the house for brunch today so I can talk to her then.”

 

“That would be awesome,” Ashlyn grins. “What are you guys up to today? Just brunch?”

 

“No, it’s more of a working brunch. We have a lot of activities coming up so I’m going to the meetings to help in any way I can. We have some charity events soon and the formal at the end of the semester so we’re starting to plan for that too.”

 

“Formal?”

 

Ali nods. “It takes place around the same time as prom and everyone gets dressed up. It’s always somewhere really nice and a lot of girls get hotel rooms after so no one has to drive.”

 

“So like you would share a room with Heather or Christen?” Ashlyn asks. If it weren’t for Ali, she wouldn’t know a thing about sororities so this is all new to her.

 

“No, like I would share a room with my date,” Ali says, biting her lip. “Which will obviously be you, so.”

 

Ashlyn nods, a grin on her face at the thought of a night in a hotel with Ali. “So what do you think we’ll do at the hotel?” She asks. “Go swimming? Hit every elevator button?” she asks, eliciting a laugh from Ali.

 

“I think we’ll do a lot of this,” Ali says, leaning in for a kiss.

 

“We should practice.”

 

Ali smiles as she moves to straddle Ashlyn, kissing her again. Ashlyn’s hands immediately find Ali’s ass, pulling her as close as possible. Ali kisses Ashlyn’s neck, almost considering leaving a hickey but then she remembers that Ashlyn will probably have job interviews soon and she doesn’t want to do anything that could negatively impact her chances. The more she gets into it, the more she grinds down onto Ashlyn and when she sits up to catch her breath, Ashlyn pulls her up her torso.

 

“What’re you doing?” Ali asks, still breathless.

 

“I want to taste you.”

 

Ali blushes and looks down at her girlfriend. She tries to move off of Ashlyn’s lap to lie on her back but Ashlyn stops her.

 

“I, uh, I’ve thought about it a lot and these damn beds are so small that I think the only way for it to be comfortable for both of us is for you to sit on my face. That is, if you’re comfortable with it.”

 

Ali raises her eyebrows. “Oh, so you’ve thought about this a lot?”

 

“I mean, it’s hard enough just kissing or sleeping in this damn bed so, yeah, I’ve thought about the logistics a lot.”

 

“So very romantic,” Ali teases.

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes. “Tease all you want but someone had to think about these things. You’ll be thankful when we’re not, like, falling out of bed or all scrunched up while trying to go down on each other. Trust me and get up here.”

 

“I do trust you,” Ali says. She moves to situate herself over Ashlyn, some of her nerves from the previous night returning. When Ashlyn wraps her arms around her thighs and pulls her down, however, her nerves fade away, lost amidst her pleasure. They connect in the most intimate of ways and Ali can’t help but grind down onto Ashlyn’s tongue. “Oh, God, Ash.”

 

Ashlyn smirks at the effect she’s having on her girlfriend as she continues flicking her tongue over Ali’s clit, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. When Ali tries to grind her hips for more friction, Ashlyn holds her still, pausing for a moment. “Let me do the work, baby. I’ve got you.”

 

Ali sighs but relaxes a little, allowing Ashlyn to fully control the pace and pressure. Ashlyn doesn’t tease too much as she relentlessly pushes Ali towards orgasm. Ali comes with a strangled cry and rests her forehead against the wall as she rides out the wave of pleasure, her legs shaking and burning from the position and the strength of her orgasm. When she finally catches her breath, she collapses next to Ashlyn.

 

“Hi,” Ashlyn grins, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I’m guessing you enjoyed that?”

 

Ali nods. “I, uh, wow. That was amazing. Seems like you enjoyed it almost as much as I did,” she notes, almost rolling her eyes at Ashlyn’s blissful smile. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think that Ashlyn was the one that just orgasmed.

 

“Maybe just a little,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

Ali snuggles against Ashlyn for a moment before remembering her brunch commitment. “What time is it?”

 

Ashlyn checks her watch, wincing as she realizes that she might’ve made Ali late. Even if Ali can make the Kappa Delta meeting on time, they definitely won’t have time for Ali to return the favor so she’ll probably have to take care of things herself once Ali leaves. “10:30.”

 

“Fuck, I have to be there at 11:00. I’ve gotta go take a quick shower but I’ll see you later, okay? And I’ll ask Becky to put in a good word for you at the library.”

 

Ali climbs down the ladder and disappears into the bathroom, leaving a still very worked up Ashlyn in her wake.

 

~

 

After the fastest shower of her life and blow drying her hair as much as time would allow, Ali makes it to brunch at the Kappa Delta house only five minutes late. She’s by no means the most tardy (even some of the girls who live in the house come downstairs after she arrived) so she relaxes knowing that she wasn’t the one holding up the start of the meeting.

 

One of their fundraising events, the Shamrock Run, raises money to prevent child abuse, one of Kappa Deltas biggest national missions. This year’s event is scheduled to take place on St. Patrick’s Day so the first order of business it to discuss how to get the word out about the 5k fun run. Kappa Delta also works closely with the Girl Scouts to instill confidence from a young age so the sorority plans a day for local troops to come tour campus and the Kappa Delta house where they will have movies, games, and leadership activities for the young girls. The final order of business is to lay the groundwork for the formal by voting on which of three venues they should choose for the event.

 

When brunch is over, everyone dispurses throughout the house or says their goodbyes but Heather, Becky, and Christen all hang back with Ali until no one else is within earshot.

 

“Spill,” Christen says.

 

“Spill what?”

 

“You and Ash left the party early last night,” Becky says.

 

“I didn’t tell them anything, I promise.” Heather says. “They noticed you and Ash were gone.”

 

Ali blushes a deep red and unscrews the cap on her water bottle, buying herself some time by taking a long sip. “We, uh, we had sex.”

 

“We figured as much,” Christen says, rolling her eyes. “How was it?”

 

Ali’s about to answer when she feels her phone vibrate with a text from where it’s held between her thighs under the table. She takes it in her hand and glances down at the screen, seeing a text from Ashlyn.

 

_I can’t stop thinking about last night._

_And this morning._

 

Ali’s cheeks color even more as she locks her screen, looking back up at her friends.

 

“What was that about?” Becky asks with a knowing smile.

 

“It was Ash,” Ali says.

 

“God, you’re hopeless,” Heather laughs. “Seriously, though, give us details. You can talk to us about this stuff. I mean, you probably know more than you ever wanted to know about me and Dave.”

 

“Way more,” Ali teases. “But last night was good. Amazing, actually. You’ve all seen how sweet and caring Ashlyn is with me—”

 

“Sickeningly so,” Becky says.

 

“Well she was somehow even more caring last night. She was so careful to make sure I was comfortable and was really understanding about me never having been with a woman before. She made me feel comfortable and safe and that’s really all you can ask for, you know?”

 

“And now she’s sending you disgustingly cute texts about it?” Christen guesses.

 

Ali nods.

 

“Do we get to be in the wedding?” Heather asks, eliciting laughs from everyone.

 

“Oh, God,” Ali groans. “We haven’t even been together two months yet that’s not even on the radar.”  

 

“We’ll see,” Heather grins.

 

~

 

Ashlyn showers once Ali leaves for brunch, memories of the last twelve hours running through her mind. Truthfully, she was almost as nervous as Ali. Not because she wasn’t sure what to do but because she wanted, needed, to make sure that Ali was comfortable. She hums happily as she washes her hair and body, reliving the night over and over in her mind.

 

When she returns to her room, she has a bunch of texts from Kelley, each one more and more exasperated that Ashlyn hadn’t yet responded.

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes and swipes the most recent notification to reply, offering to meet Kelley for lunch. Kelley gladly accepts so thirty minutes later, Ashlyn walk into the diner to find Kelley already waiting for her.

 

“I was beginning to think you’d never come up for air,” Kelley teases. “So how was it? Worth the wait?”

 

“I’m not telling you anything.”

 

“Come on,” Kelley groans. “I had to listen when you talked about your crush on her for months and now I don’t get anything? Heather and I talked about it a bit, did you know that? She found out around your birthday that Ali was crushing on you too but obviously it wasn’t my place to tell you so I tried to hard to get you to listen to me that she might not be as straight as you thought and you give me nothing in return?”

 

“Okay, fine,” Ashlyn says. “Just hold on one sec.”

 

She types out her texts to Ali that she can’t stop thinking about last night and this morning, smirking at just how flustered Ali is going to get when she reads them. When she’s done, she looks back up at Kelley. “Yes, it was worth the wait,” she says. “Ali was so nervous at first but I reminded her that it was just me and she finally relaxed.”

 

“My little babies all grown up,” Kelley coos.

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes and looks down at her phone, finding a text from Ali.

 

_I’m getting grilled over here._

 

_Getting the same treatment from Kelley._

 

_Glad I’m not the only one being tortured. Love you._

 

_Love you more._

 

Ashlyn and Kelley’s talk soon turns to Ashlyn's plan to look for a job, which Kelley offers a lot of advice on. Kelley agrees that an on campus job will likely be more understanding that she can’t work during the fall semester. In fact, she knows from experience as she’s worked at a coffee shop on campus for the last two years. By the time they go their separate ways, Ashlyn is actually looking forward to starting her online applications.

 

She works on them all afternoon, applying to every on campus location she can think of until Ali returns from her day at the Kappa Delta house.

 

“Hell of a long brunch,” Ashlyn says, standing to greet Ali with a kiss.

 

“Yeah, well, you know how those things go. We ended up watching a movie. How’s the job hunt going?”

 

“Okay, I guess. I’ve applied a bunch of places now I just have to hope they want to interview me. Did you talk to Becky?”

 

“Yep. She works tonight so she said she’ll tell her boss to watch for your application.”  

 

“Cool. Tell her I said thanks.”

 

Ali nods as she lowers herself into the papasan chair, watching as Ashly refreshes her email at her desk. “So last night was amazing,” she says.

 

Ashlyn swivels in her desk chair to face her girlfriend. “It was,” she agrees. “So was this morning even though, you know, I had to take care of myself because we didn’t have much time.”

 

“I figured that’s what you did when I left,” Ali laughs. “Honestly, I would’ve done the same if it were me. But we have time now. Unless you’d rather continue working on your applications, of course.”

 

Ashlyn is out of her desk chair in an instant. She crosses the small room and offers her hand to help Ali out of the papasan. She grabs Ali’s hips, pulling their bodies flush together as her hands find their way to Ali’s ass.

 

“Someone’s excited,” Ali teases.

 

Ashlyn nods, using one hand to tuck some of Ali’s hair behind her ear.

 

Ali grins at the simple gesture and stands on her toes to kiss Ashlyn. Things quickly become heated and before she knows it, they’re shedding clothes in the middle of the room. When they’re completely bare, Ali kisses Ashlyn one last time and leads the way up the ladder to her bed. She’s just about halfway up when she feels one of Ashlyn’s hands grip her ass from behind. She pauses, turning around to give her girlfriend a playfully annoyed look.

 

“Couldn’t resist,” Ashlyn shrugs. “You know I love your ass and that was, like, the _best_ view.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Ali laughs, continuing her journey up to bed. She lies flat on her back, smiling as Ashlyn joins her and straddles her waist to continue their makeout session.

 

Ashlyn situates herself so her breasts are by Ali’s face, letting out a satisfied moan as Ali captures one of her nipples between her teeth. Ali alternates between Ashlyn’s nipples, nipping, sucking, and licking them until Ashlyn simply can’t wait anymore. She pulls back a little and kisses Ali on the lips one more time.

 

“You sure this is okay?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Ali nods. “Get up here.”

 

Ashlyn doesn’t need to be told twice. She moves so she’s straddling Ali’s face, getting in the same position Ali was in earlier this morning. Instead of gripping the headboard like Ali did, though, Ashlyn reaches down and laces her fingers with Ali’s. Ali seems tentative at first, flicking her tongue cautiously and Ashlyn almost suggests they stop. Just as she’s about to speak, she lets out an involuntary moan which seems to be all the encouragement Ali needed. Ashlyn can feel how Ali relaxes and becomes more confident in what she’s doing.

 

The payoff is instantaneous.

 

After a few minutes of Ali timidly eating her out, her new found confidence goes a long way and Ashlyn closes her eyes, enjoying the new sensations. It’s been so long since she was this intimate with someone (she and Sam stuck to fingering each other) and it feels incredible.

 

Ali feels bad that they had to wait so long to continue their morning so she doesn’t tease at all and works to make Ashlyn feel as good as Ashlyn made her feel this morning. She knows Ashlyn can sense her nerves at first but when a moan escapes Ashlyn’s lips, Ali figures she must be doing something right and relaxes. Ashlyn squeezes her hands tighter and Ali knows she must be getting close.

 

“Ali,” Ashlyn breathes. “So good. Don’t stop.”

 

Ali smirks at the encouragement and ups her pace in response.

 

Ashlyn tries to hold off her orgasm for as long as possible, wanting to make this last. She holds on for a few extra seconds before closing her eyes and letting pleasure take over. “Oh, Ali,” she moans, grinding her hips down as she comes. When she settles, she curls up next to Ali, a content smile on her face.

 

Ali smiles back, brushing some of Ashlyn’s hair off of her forehead. “Love you.”

 

“Love you too. See? It wasn’t so scary, was it? You figured everything out pretty quickly.”

 

“Sorry if I was a little awkward at first,” Ali says. “I like making you feel good.”

 

“Well you did an incredible job at it,” Ashlyn says. She kisses Ali’s forehead, breathing in the scent of her latest shampoo and conditioner set. “You don’t have to go back to your room tonight, do you?”

 

“No, not really. I planned on staying here.”

 

“Good, I like having you here,” Ashlyn grins.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost forgot I was gonna update today. Whoops. I know some of you have asked how long this is gonna be and while it's still TBD, I'm currently writing chapter 30 and I still have a lot more to write. So, yeah, it'll be pretty damn long. Probably around 45-50 chapters of so, though that's a really rough estimate.
> 
> Thoughts? Things you'd like to see more of? Favorite parts? Predictions as freshman year ends soon and they start sophomore year?


	16. Chapter 16

****  
  


Becky’s good word with her boss at the library gets Ashlyn an interview. She gets interviews from a lot of places she applied but since the library is the one she really wants, she’s a little more nervous preparing for that one (plus, she doesn’t want to make Becky look bad for recommending someone they don’t like). 

 

“You’ll be great,” Ali assures, straightening the collar on Ashlyn’s shirt so it lays flat. “Becky wouldn’t have agreed to recommend you in the first place if she didn’t think you’d be a good fit.” 

 

“You think I’ll be okay? I’m sure they’re interviewing a lot of people. I guess pretty much everyone who lives on campus wants to work there.”

 

Ali smiles and presses a gentle kiss to Ashlyn’s lips. “You’ll be amazing. You’re charming and can talk to anyone, remember? Be yourself and don’t worry too much.” 

 

“They’re gonna see I’m on the soccer team and think I’m just a jock and I shouldn’t work at a library.” 

 

“If they think that then that’s their problem. But you know what I think? I think they’ll see your dedication to your sport as a good thing. You’ve always had to balance school and soccer and you work hard so they’ll know you’ll be a good employee.” 

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Ashlyn says. “Another kiss for good luck?” 

 

Ali stands on her toes and kisses Ashlyn again, lingering a little but not taking the kiss any deeper. When they part, she uses her thumb to wipe some of the lip gloss that transferred from her lips to Ashlyn’s. “I’ll be in class but text me when you’re done.”

 

“Oh, perfect student Ali Krieger is gonna text in class. What would potential law schools think if they found that out?”

 

“Shut up,” Ali laughs. “I hate this class anyway and it definitely won’t be a big deal to read your text on my laptop.”  

 

“Don’t blame me if you miss something important for the exam,” Ashlyn says. “Okay, I really gotta go.” 

 

The interview goes well, Ashlyn thinks, and Janice puts her at ease from the very beginning. They mostly talk about her goals and why she wants to work at the library, which Ashlyn says is because she’s heard great things about working there. This, of course, brings them to discuss Becky’s recommendation. Janice explains that Becky is one of her best employees and she trusts her judgement of character and since she’s happy with Ashlyn’s interview, she offers her a job on the spot. 

 

“Really?” Ashlyn asks. “I thought these things usually take a while.” 

 

“Sometimes they do but like I said, I trust Becky’s judgement and you seem like a great kid so I’d be happy to have you aboard here. You’ll mostly be doing two things: the circulation desk and reshelving. Which one you do for the day depends on how much help we have and what time your shift is. And, frankly, a lot of times I let you guys work it out yourselves. If, for example, you and Becky work at the same time and you prefer the circulation desk and she doesn’t mind reshelving, that’s what we’ll have you do.” 

 

“Sounds perfect,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

“So when would you like to start? What would you like your schedule to look like?” 

 

“I have classes on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday so I probably can’t work on Mondays with class all day and again the next morning but I can do Tuesday nights on through the rest of the week. We do have spring practice and games starting soon so I can email you that schedule, if you’d like.” 

 

“That would be really helpful,” Janice says. She pulls a business card out of the folder in front of her and slides one to Ashlyn. “Email me your school and soccer schedule and your preferred work days and times and I’ll get you started soon. I’ll schedule your first day for when I’ll be here so when you arrive, stop at the circulation desk and ask for me.”

 

“Will do. I can’t thank you enough for this opportunity,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Hey, thank you for coming in,” Janice smiles. “I’ll see you soon.” 

 

Ashlyn feels like she’s floating as she shakes hands with Janice and makes her way to her car. All of the other places she interviewed with said that they had to interview other people and that they’d call in a couple of days so for this interview to go so well that she was offered a job on the spot is a pleasant surprise. She settles into the driver’s seat and pulls her phone out of her pocket to text Ali. 

 

_ She offered me a job on the spot. I have to email her my schedule and she’ll tell me when to come in.  _

 

_ That’s amazing! I’m so proud. Meet me at the dining hall for an early dinner around 5:00? _

 

_ Of course :)  _

 

Ali runs a little late so Ashlyn finds them a table and texts Ali where she is. Ali arrives five minutes later, seemingly in a rush. 

 

“Sorry, I had to stay after to talk to my professor for a few minutes. Of course it seems like everyone else needed to talk to her too so I had to wait,” Ali says as she sets her backpack in a chair and slides into the one across from Ashlyn. 

 

“Don’t worry about it, you’re always worth the wait,” Ashlyn cheeses. 

 

They leave their jackets and Ali’s backpack to save their table as they go get their dinner. Ali brings her tray back to the table first and waits for Ashlyn to get back before she starts eating. 

 

“There’s my working girl,” Ali grins. 

 

“Gotta make some money so I can take you somewhere other than the dining hall for dinner sometimes,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“You know, I’m actually really happy that you got a job at the library. Mainly because you wanted to work there but also because I can hang out with you while you work. Instead of studying in your room together, I can just come to the library while you work.” 

 

“That would be great,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

~

 

Ali stays home during Ashlyn’s first few shifts, not wanting to distract her while she’s learning how to do her job. At the end of her first week, she has a Friday night shift so once she leaves for work, Ali packs all of her homework supplies into her backpack and heads to the library too. Ashlyn happens to be at the circulation desk tonight so Ali takes the table closest to the desk and starts doing her homework. 

 

“You really don’t have to spend your Friday night in the library just because I have to,” Ashlyn says when there’s no one else around. She appreciates the company on what is sure to be a slow night but she doesn’t want Ali to feel obligated to spend her Friday night in the library. 

 

Ali shrugs. “I was gonna work on homework anyway and this way I get to hang out with you.” 

 

Ashlyn smiles and looks back down at her own homework. One of the main benefits of working at the library is that she can do her homework if she’s working the circulation desk. Sometimes the library is busier than others so she doesn’t get to it but on a Friday night outside of exam week, there’s hardly anyone around. It almost feels like their nights studying together in Ashlyn’s room but instead of being at the desks in her room, she’s at the circulation desk making money and Ali is at a table just a few feet away. 

 

“I can’t believe I’m making money while I do my homework and hang out with you,” Ashlyn muses. 

 

“Seriously,” Ali laughs. “Pretty sweet gig you’ve got here.” They focus on their homework for a few minutes before Ali remembers something she was supposed to talk about with Ashlyn. “Oh, hey,” she starts, looking Ashlyn’s direction. “Where are you thinking of living next year? I have to live in the sorority house at least one year so I figure I’ll do it next year. Christen and I are thinking of sharing a double room.” 

 

“Uh, Kelley mentioned something about me taking a room at the house. There are three seniors in the house who will be moving out so she asked me, Whitney, and Alex to live with her and Tobin. I’ll have my own room which won’t be too much of a change from now but it’ll be nice.” 

 

“I still have to share but, honestly, I’m just excited to have a bed on the ground, you know? It’s sad that having a bed on the ground is so exciting right now but it is. It’s still a twin, though.” 

 

“Well I’m probably gonna get a full size bed and you know I’m good at sharing. It’ll make it a lot easier for sex,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Shh,” Ali says, looking around to make sure no one heard. She blushes a little, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“Seriously, just think of how great it’s gonna be to have room to move and to not worry about the bed collapsing or one of us falling out and breaking an arm or something. You haven’t seen anything yet.” 

 

Ali blushes even more and although she was the one speaking, so does Ashlyn. 

 

Someone comes up to the desk to check out some books so Ali turns her attention back to her homework while Ashlyn scans the girl’s ID card and the books, her cheeks still a little red after the conversation she and Ali just had. 

 

“Those’ll be due February 23,” Ashlyn says, tearing off the due date receipts from the printer and sticking them into the front page of the top book. “Have a great night.” 

 

As soon as the other girl is gone, Ali gets out of her seat and makes her way to the desk, standing in front of Ashlyn. “Hey so you think you can tell me where I might find books on the Civil War and Reconstruction? I need them for this paper.” 

 

“Please, like you don’t know this place better than I do,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Oh, I know, I just wanted a reason to come up here and talk to you. Don’t want to get you fired or anything.”

 

“You’re cute,” Ashlyn says. 

  
  


~

 

This new routine suits both women perfectly fine. Any time Ali can hang out and do homework while Ashlyn works, she heads to the library and takes the table by the desk, which seems to be a last resort for most people since it’s in a busy area. When no one needs Ashlyn’s help, they do homework and chat, just like they used to do in Ashlyn’s dorm. Not only do they get to spend time together while Ashlyn makes money, this leaves their time together in Ashlyn’s dorm free to relax, watch netflix, and have sex without worrying about homework. 

 

As great as these shifts are, Ashlyn’s favorite shifts are when she does reshelving at night until the library closes at 2 in the morning. Ali comes to the library on these nights too but instead of taking her table by the door, she takes a table upstairs amongst the rows of books. When Ashlyn comes by with the reshelving cart, Ali follows her down the aisle and pretends to look at books in that aisle while Ashlyn makes sure no one is around. Since it’s often in the middle of the night, they usually don’t have to worry about anyone else. 

 

“Find what you’re looking for?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Oh yeah, I’m thinking of changing to an art history major,” Ali says, perusing the books in front of her. “What do you think?” 

 

“I think you better start studying the subject, then,” Ashlyn says. She looks down at her cart, easily locating the books she needs to reshelve in this aisle and taking them into her hands. The first book happens to go in the section in front of her on the top shelf so she sets the other books back on the cart and reaches up to put this particular book where it needs to go. As she reaches, her shirt rides up her torso a little and Ali can’t resist putting her hand over the exposed skin. She shivers a little at the unexpected touch but smiles as she lowers her arms and wraps them around her girlfriend. 

 

“Thanks for keeping me company,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Anytime.” Ali punctuates her reply with a kiss. When they part, she looks around and kisses Ashlyn again, deeper this time. 

 

The rest of the books need to be placed at the far end of the aisle so Ashlyn pushes the cart down while Ali follows behind, unable to resist giving Ashlyn a little love tap on the ass as she walks. Now that they’re away from the center aisle, they’re in one of the most secluded parts of the library so after ensuring that no one else is nearby, Ashlyn feels a little bold and pulls Ali in for a deep kiss, pressing her against the shelving unit so their bodies are flush together. Neither dares to take it beyond kissing but the possibility of being caught is thrilling nonetheless. The kiss leaves both girls breathless and Ashlyn can’t help but smile as she reshelves the last two books from this aisle. 

 

On and on they go, sneaking kisses whenever possible as Ashlyn empties her cart. Sometimes, it’s Ashlyn who pushes Ali against the shelving unit and others it’s Ali pushing Ashlyn back against the column of books. Once, Ali pushes Ashlyn back a little too hard and Ashlyn fears that they might end up knocking the fixtures over if they’re not careful.

 

“Easy, Al,” she whispers. “Can’t destroy the place.” 

 

“Sorry,” Ali says, pulling back and biting her bottom lip. “Got a little too carried away.” 

 

“I love it, don’t get me wrong, but I’d rather not knock all these shelves over and get fired my second week on the job.” 

 

“God, I can’t even imagine how embarrassing that would be,” Ali laughs. “I should get going anyway. Want me to stay with you tonight?” 

 

“I do but I don’t get off until 2:00.” 

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn one more time. “I’ll be passed out in your bed. Love you.” 

 

“Love you too.” 

 

~

 

While most of Ashlyn’s shifts at the library involve studying with Ali or sneaking kisses in the aisles of books, one shift leads to an argument. It’s a Saturday afternoon shift so Ashlyn is at the circulation desk and Ali is at her usual table nearby. 

 

Ali works on a paper for one of her classes, her study materials spread across her table. Normally when people go up to Ashlyn’s desk to check books out, Ali stays focused on her own work. This time, however, there’s something different about the interaction that piques her interest. 

 

Ali watches as a tall brunette casually leans against the tall part of the desk where the book return is. She gives Ashlyn a once over, a smirk on her face. 

 

“Did you find everything you need?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Mmmhmm. You play soccer, huh?” the girl asks, gesturing to Ashlyn’s shirt. 

 

Ali doesn’t like the way the girl is clearly flirting with her girlfriend and she wants Ashlyn to get the conversation back on track. If they weren’t in the library, in Ashlyn’s work place, she might go up to Ashlyn and kiss her but she doesn’t want to potentially get Ashlyn in trouble so she stays seated at her table and watches the interaction. 

 

She takes a highlighter off of her table, taking the cap on and off over and over again as she watches the scene play out in front of her. 

 

“Yeah, I’m a goalkeeper,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Oh my god, that’s amazing,” the girl says. “I’ll have to come to a game sometime.” 

 

Ashlyn nods as she swipes the girl’s school ID and scans her books. “Yeah, you should. We love when people come out and support us.” 

 

Ali rolls her eyes in annoyance. It was annoying enough to watch another woman flirt with Ashlyn but for Ashlyn to seemingly encourage it by telling her to attend a soccer game really gets under her skin. She starts packing her things to go home instead of staying to the end of Ashlyn’s shift. 

 

“Your books are due March 1st. Have a good night,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“I’ll see you at a game.” 

 

If Ali didn’t have her back to the circulation desk as she packs her belongings, she might have shot the girl a dirty look. 

 

“Are you leaving?” Ashlyn asks, watching Ali put everything into her backpack.

 

“Yes,” Ali says. She slings her backpack over her shoulders and makes her way towards the exit. 

 

“Something wrong?” Ashlyn questions, stopping Ali in her tracks. 

 

Ali softens a little as she looks at her girlfriend. Ashlyn didn’t do anything wrong but the whole situation rubbed her the wrong way. “We’ll talk later, okay? Love you.” 

 

“Love you too,” Ashlyn says. She watches Ali go, thoroughly confused about what just happened. One moment, Ali was completely fine and the next, she can’t get out of the library fast enough. She shrugs her shoulders at no one in particular and unlocks her phone, opening her text conversation with Ali. 

 

_ Seriously, Al, are you okay?  _

 

_ I’m fine. I think I just need a nap.  _

 

Ashlyn thinks about the incident the rest of her shift and when she gets off of work, she goes right to Ali’s dorm. Ali is lying in bed, a show playing on her laptop, which she pauses when Ashlyn climbs up into bed. 

 

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

Ali looks down at her comforter, running her fingers along the fabric. “Why didn’t you tell her you have a girlfriend?” 

 

“Tell who what?” 

 

“That girl at the library.” 

 

“Was I supposed to tell her?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“She was flirting with you, Ash, and I was right there. You could’ve said something to stop her from flirting with you.” 

 

Suddenly, Ali’s strange behavior makes so much sense. “Oh my god, are you jealous?” she asks, more than a little amused. 

 

“It’s not funny,” Ali groans. “She was so flirty and you told her to come to a game. How is that supposed to make me feel?” 

 

“Baby,” Ashlyn begins, taking Ali’s hand, “I tell everyone to come to games when the topic comes up, you know that. It’s way more fun to play in front of people than it is to play in front of empty bleachers so I tell everyone to come.” 

 

“But she was so pretty and she was flirting with you.”

 

“I don’t care what she was doing. You think I would even give her a second thought?” 

 

Ali shrugs, her annoyance at her girlfriend slipping away. She’s still not a fan of the leggy brunette but that’s another matter altogether. “I don’t know, maybe you would have. She was a beautiful brunette. In case you haven’t noticed, that’s kind of your type.” 

 

“Al, trust me when I say I only have eyes for you.”

 

“Really?” 

 

“Really. Now do you want to come spend the night with me? I can show you that you’re the only one on my mind.” 

 

~

 

Ali’s alarm goes off early the next morning, causing both women to groan as Ali reaches into the basket hanging on the wall to find her phone. 

 

“Turn it off,” Ashlyn groans. 

 

“I’m trying,” Ali says. Blindly reaching into the basket, she pulls Ashlyn’s phone out first, prolonging the noise until she finally locates her phone. She finally stops the alarm and sits up in bed. “I have to get up.” 

 

“It’s Sunday, no you don’t,” Ashlyn groans. “Stay here and cuddle.”

 

Ali stifles a laugh as Ashlyn dramatically buries her head into her pillow. She runs a hand through Ashlyn’s hair, curling up next to her for a few more minutes. “I have to go run. Our 5k is coming up in five weeks and I want to make sure I’m ready. Oh, actually, I forgot that I was gonna ask if you’d do the run with me? There’s a $40 entrance fee which goes to a national organization to prevent child abuse. You’ll get a shirt, too.” 

 

As much as Ashlyn hates running (it’s part of why she’s a goalkeeper), she knows she can’t refuse. It’s for a good cause and she knows how important philanthropy is to Ali and her sorority. “Yeah, you can sign me up.” 

 

“Thank you,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn’s cheek. “Now get your ass out of bed, we have to make sure we’re in shape.” 

 

“You tricked me,” Ashlyn groans. 

 

Ali laughs and playfully taps Ashlyn on the ass. “Stay here if you want but if you come running with me we’ll get to shower together after. Gotta wash all the sweat away, right?” 

 

“I’m up, I’m up.” 

 

They only end up running a mile and a half that morning before they ease their pace as they head back to the dorms. It all seems easy for Ali while Ashlyn struggles to keep pace and for a moment, Ashlyn has a hard time believing that she’s the student athlete of the two. “This better be a really cool shirt,” Ashlyn says as they slow down and make their way back towards the dorms. 

 

“Funny you mention that,” Ali says. “Since it’s on St. Patrick’s day, they usually do a green shirt but I kind of led the charge on doing black shirts with green writing for this year. They’re so much better than the photos I’ve seen of previous years. You’ll still probably just use it as a sleep shirt but it’s definitely better.” 

 

“Making the important contributions,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Always.”

 

By the time they make it back to their building, there’s only one thought on Ashlyn’s mind: the promise of getting to shower with Ali. She doesn’t want to seem too eager so she lets Ali take the lead. She nonchalantly removes her shoes inside her door while Ali goes into the bathroom, locks the door leading to her own room, and starts a hot shower. 

 

Ashlyn grins and strips her clothes in her room and when she goes into the bathroom, she finds Ali completely naked as well. Her breath catches in her throat at the sight of Ali’s body as she leans into the shower to test the water with her hand. She studies Ali’s profile, her breasts, her abdomen and her hipbones before her gaze finally settles on Ali’s ass and thighs. 

 

“You gonna stare all day or are you gonna join me?” Ali asks, stepping into the shower. 

 

Ashlyn follows Ali into the shower, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend so they can both stand under the showerhead. 

 

“Thanks for running with me,” Ali says. 

 

“Anything for you, babe.” 

 

“You just wanted to shower with me.” 

 

Ashlyn shakes her head and presses a kiss to Ali’s forehead. “I would’ve said yes either way. I know how important charity work is for you and if it’s important to you, it’s important to me.” 

 

Ali smiles as she stands on her toes and kisses Ashlyn. When they part, she reaches to where their different hair products are stored along the edge of the tub. She grabs Ashlyn’s shampoo and puts a little into her hand as Ashlyn takes the hint and moves out from under the water. Ashlyn has to crouch a little for Ali to wash her hair and while it’s not the most comfortable way to stand, she loves the feeling of Ali’s gentle hands lathering soap into her hair. 

 

When Ali is done, they switch places so Ashlyn can rinse her hair. With Ashlyn’s eyes closed, Ali takes the opportunity to unabashedly stare at her girlfriend’s body. Unable to resist, she reaches out and palms Ashlyn’s breasts, smiling as Ashlyn’s nipples harden almost immediately. 

 

“As much as I love that, we better wash your hair before we get carried away,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ashlyn forces herself not to rush as she helps Ali shampoo and condition her hair, enjoying the peaceful intimacy of the moment before they become desperate for more. Once Ali finishes rinsing the conditioner from her hair, however, Ashlyn kisses her deeply, cradling the back of her head as she pushes her against the shower wall. 

 

“I knew you were gonna do that,” Ali laughs. 

 

“Shhh,” Ashlyn says, kissing Ali. “No more talking.” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of an early update this evening. If you're in the US (or if you celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow elsewhere) I hope you have a good time with your loved ones. I'm thankful for all of you and your wonderful comments on all my stories but especially this one. 
> 
> Had to throw in a little jealous Ali in this one, hope you didn't mind ;)


	17. Chapter 17

  


Between school, work, and spending time with Ali, early February flies by and before Ashlyn knows it, she’s enlisting help from her teammates to find Ali the perfect Valentine’s Day present. Everyone has a different opinion so in the end, Ashlyn ends up going to the mall with Whitney in search of the perfect present.

 

“So what are you thinking?” Whitney asks as they wander around the mall.

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “I think asking all you guys made it even harder. I mean, some of you insisted jewelry is the best and some suggested getting something I know she wants and needs. And then I had an idea of putting together a basket of her favorite things.”

 

“You can never go wrong with jewelry,” Whitney says. “Jewelry and chocolate.”

 

“You don’t think that’s too easy?”

 

“I think you’re making this more difficult than it needs to be. Does she wear necklaces?”

 

Ashlyn nods. “She has a few that I’ve seen.”

 

“Then get her a necklace. It’s something she can wear every day and it’ll always make her think of you.”

 

Ashlyn has to admit, Whitney is right. She lets Whitney lead her to the nearest jewelry store and together they browse the cases for the perfect necklace. Ashlyn briefly considers a letter A pendant necklace before remembering that she’s seen Ali wearing a similar one before. She’s just about to suggest going to a different store when she spots a sterling silver heart necklace. She’s seen a lot of heart necklaces in the different cases but the majority of them were gaudy and she couldn’t imagine Ali wearing any of them. The one that catches her eye is a simple sterling silver heart outline pendant on a matching silver box chain.

 

“Hey, Whit, what about this one?” Ashlyn asks, waving her friend over to the case she’s in front of. She points out the necklace in question and waits for a response.

 

“It’s perfect,” Whitney says. “Very Ali. Beautiful and not too over the top.”

 

Ashlyn nods and when a salesperson comes over to where they’re standing, she asks to see the necklace. The chain is longer than she expected and she she makes Whitney try it on to see how it looks, it almost falls between her breasts. “Is it too long?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Not really,” Whitney says. “It’s nice, actually, because she could pair it with a shorter necklace. And if she has, like, a science lab or something she can tuck it into her shirt without worrying about it coming untucked.”

 

Ashlyn smiles as she turns to the sales person. “I’ll take it.”

 

The more Ashlyn thinks about her gift, the more she realizes how perfect it is. She was so worried about not being too cheesy that she didn’t realize that if there’s any time to be cheesy, it’s their first Valentine’s Day together. A heart necklace is the perfect way to go. Just before they leave the mall, they stop at the candy store and pick a bunch of different chocolates, making sure to get a few extras to eat on the way back to campus.

 

“Thanks for helping me today, Whit,” Ashlyn says once they’re in the car.

 

Whitney grins. “Anytime. I know that when I’m dating someone you’ll pass the message along to him that I like jewelry and chocolate.”

 

“I’ll be happy to help,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

Now that she has Ali’s present purchased, all Ashlyn has to do is prepare for their dinner date on Valentine’s Day. The holiday falls on a Wednesday this year and they’d discussed the possibility of celebrating early so they could do it over the weekend but they both liked the idea of making the middle of the week a little more special by celebrating on the actual holiday. When she gets back to her dorm, she makes reservations at a steakhouse for Wednesday night. Based on the website, it’s a far nicer than the places they usually dine at (and, truthfully, anywhere they pay with money instead of a meal plan is a step up from their usual) so Ashlyn is confident that they’ll have a great evening together.

 

Ali has an early morning class on Wednesday so she doesn’t usually stay on Tuesday nights but she makes an exception so they can wake up together on Valentine’s Day. Her alarm goes off at 6:30, waking Ashlyn up as well.

 

“Do I get my present yet?” Ali asks as soon as Ashlyn opens her eyes.

 

“Nope, later,” Ashlyn says. “We’re not officially celebrating until you get out of class.”

 

“Fine, then I won’t give you a Valentine’s Day kiss until later, right?”

 

“Can I at least get a regular kiss before you have to go?”

 

Ali pretends to think about it, though they both know she’s gonna cave. She kisses Ashlyn softly, nuzzling her forehead against Ashlyn’s and wishing they could just stay in bed all day. “Do I have to go?”

 

“You don’t _have_ to but I know you’ll feel bad if you don’t. Besides, if you’re gonna skip any day of class, it should be tomorrow.”

 

“Oh, yeah? Why is that?” Ali asks with a quirked eyebrow.

 

“Well, if all goes according to plan, we’ll be pretty worn out after tonight.”

 

Ali’s jaw goes slack and she blushes. It’s been just about a month since they first had sex so she doesn’t feel awkward or nervous anymore but Ashlyn’s response takes her by surprise. “That’s quite the prediction, babe.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs, a smirk on her lips. “I have a good feeling about it. In fact, I have such a good feeling that I’m gonna rest up so I’m ready for tonight.”

 

“Good idea,” Ali laughs. She kisses Ashlyn goodbye and scoots to the end of the bed to climb down the ladder, making her exit as quietly as possible so she doesn’t disturb Ashlyn in her quest to fall back asleep.

 

The day seems to drag on and at one point, Ali actually wonders if the clock in the lecture hall is working but a check of the time on her phone tells her that not only is the analogue clock working, it’s a few minutes fast.

 

When her last class gets out in mid-afternoon, Ali rushes back to the dorms to get ready for her and Ashlyn’s date. She showers the day of classes away and straightens her hair before changing into her black sweater dress and her maroon heeled booties, knowing how much Ashlyn loves this outfit on her. She applies a soft makeup look and checks herself out in the full length mirror.

 

“Looking good,” Hannah comments from her place in bed.

 

“Thanks,” Ali grins. “Do you have any plans for tonight?”

 

“Uh, this,” Hannah says, gesturing to her position curled up in bed. “The guy I was seeing got super weird and skittish when I mentioned Valentine’s Day so I dumped his ass.”

 

“Good for you,” Ali says. “Who needs idiots like him anyway?”

 

“Not me.”

 

As different as they are, Ali and Hannah have developed a pretty decent relationship. Hannah likes that Ali spends at least half her time in Ashlyn’s room and Ali has learned that Hannah is smarter and more driven than their first weekend on campus would’ve suggested. They’re not necessarily friends but they’re friendly and as far as randomly assigned roommates go, Ali thinks she got pretty lucky.

 

Ali checks her outfit one last time and grabs her gift bag for Ashlyn off of her desk, saying goodnight to Hannah. She makes her way to Ashlyn’s room through the bathroom and smiles when she sees Ashlyn lacing up her dress shoes. She’s wearing one of Ali’s favorite button downs with a tie and her suit jacket so she’s a little more dressed up than usual and it makes Ali’s heart melt.

 

“You look so good, babe,” Ali says, looking her girlfriend up and down. Her maroon dress shirt is more form fitting than normal and the dark grey tie is the perfect compliment to her shirt and black suit jacket. Ali looks down at her own dress and maroon booties and smiles. “Look, we totally crushed this color palette without meaning to.”

 

“Of course we did,” Ashlyn laughs. “Same wavelength.” She adjusts the watch on her wrist and glances down at the giftbag in Ali’s hand. The bag is white with pink and red glittery hearts, screaming Valentine’s Day. “Is that for me?” she teases.

 

“Oh, no, it’s for my other girlfriend,” Ali says.

 

“Hmm well I guess I don’t have to give you your present, then.”

 

Ali eyes the present on Ashlyn’s desk. “Okay, okay, I take it back.”

 

Ashlyn smiles and leads Ali to her desk, where Ali sets her gift down. “Here, you first,” Ashlyn says, handing her gift to Ali.

 

The bag is lighter than Ali expected for the size and on top of the tissue paper is a white envelope with her name on it. She sets the bag back down on the desk and tears open the envelope, pulling out a white card with small red, pink, and purple hearts all facing different directions on the front. The inside is just as simple as the outside with “Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.” printed in black lettering. The card itself is simple and to the point, allowing Ashlyn’s words to stand out.

 

_Ali,_

 

_It feels weird to say that these last two months have been incredible. They’ve been amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it feels like it’s been so much longer than two months. I guess it’s true when they say that time flies when you’re having fun._

 

_The first time I met you, I thought you were beautiful. The first night you showed up at my door, I thought I was the luckiest person alive. Now I’m sure I’m the luckiest person alive._

 

_You are smart, beautiful, funny, and driven. I am so impressed with you everyday and I can’t wait to see the wonderful impact you have on this world. You certainly make my life better._

 

_Here’s to the first of many Valentine’s Days together._

 

_Love you more,_

_Ash_

 

Tears well up in Ali’s eyes as she meets Ashlyn’s gaze. “Baby, this is so nice,” she says.

 

“I meant every word.”

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn, the present temporarily forgotten about. When they part, she carefully puts the card back in the envelope so she can display it in her room later.

 

“Okay, open it,” Ashlyn says.

 

Ali digs through the white tissue paper until her hand lands on two boxes at the bottom of the bag. The first contains chocolates and they look so good that she has to stop herself from eating one right then. The second box is long and thin so it comes as no surprise when she opens it to find a necklace. Like Ashlyn’s card, the heart shaped necklace is simple and classic but the sentiment behind it shines through. She gently lifts the necklace out of the box, the pendant dangling from the silver box chain. “It’s beautiful, Ash,” she says. “Help me put it on.”

 

Ali hands the necklace to Ashlyn and sweeps her hair to the side so Ashlyn can clasp it around her neck. “Here,” Ashlyn says.

 

Ali drops her hair and looks down at the way the necklace stands out against her black sweater dress. “It’s perfect.”

 

“Yeah?” Ashlyn grins. “I was worried you would think it was too, I don’t know, cheesy? But I figured if there’s any time to be cheesy, it’s our first Valentine’s Day.”

 

“I love it,” Ali says, punctuating her words with a kiss. “Open yours now.”

 

Ashlyn quickly locates the card at the top of the back, opening the envelope as quickly as she can. When she sees the card Ali picked, she lets out a deep, surprised laugh. The front of the card is pain white with black text reading “I love you with all my butt” and in smaller print at the bottom, “it’s bigger than my heart.”

 

“I saw it on Etsy and couldn’t resist,” Ali says as Ashlyn laughs.

 

“It’s perfect, babe, and I love your butt with my whole heart.”

 

The inside of the card is blank except for Ali’s careful writing.

 

_Ash,_

 

_I didn’t know what to expect when I decided to come to this school. I didn’t know the campus, the town, or anyone in the area. It could’ve been a lonely experience but when I met you my second night on campus, it became anything but lonely. You very quickly became my best friend and I am so incredibly lucky to have you in my life. You make me feel safe and loved and you encourage my goals and ambitions. Even if I tried, I couldn’t dream up someone better for me than you._

 

_Happy Valentine’s Day, babe._

 

_Love always,_

_Ali_

 

“Al, this is perfect and so are you,” Ashlyn says. She reads over the card one more time and leans down to put it on full display. Atop her desk is an add on unit with shelves on the left side and a magnetic dry erase board right in front of the chair. She has so many of her favorite things displayed on the magnetic board: pictures with family and teammates, a shark magnet, and a dry erase magnet that Ali wrote ‘I love you’ on one day while they were studying together. Ashlyn finds a magnet and hangs the card right next to a photo of her and Ali on their first date.

 

Satisfied with the placement, she stands and digs through the gift bag, blindly finding some kind of fabric. She pulls the garment from the bag, finding that it’s actually two garments: a matching Calvin Klein cotton bra and boxers set. Both are black with a white waistband with Calvin Klein printed all the way around the elastic. “Are these for me?” she asks, somewhat confused.

 

“Of course they are,” Ali says. “I’ve had this idea ever since New Year’s. God, that picture you sent me.”

 

Ashlyn can’t help it, she starts laughing. “You got me a bra and underwear?”

 

Ali nods, not embarrassed in the slightest. “You like them?”

 

“I love them I’m just surprised.”

 

“They’re practical and I can’t get enough of you in these styles and I noticed you didn’t have black yet, so.”

 

“So this present is a little for you too,” Ashlyn says. As much as she finds humor in getting Ali a sentimental gift and receiving a bra and underwear, it actually makes her feel really, really good to learn why Ali picked this gift. She always thought if one of them was to buy the other lingerie for selfish reasons, it would be her so for Ali to talk about her body like this is a big confidence boost.

 

“Exactly,” Ali grins. “Will you model them for me later?”

 

“I think that can be arranged.”

 

~

 

The steakhouse is even nicer that Ashlyn expected. The lighting is dim and romantic and there are tons of other couples (and some families) dining. Ashlyn gives her name and they’re immediately taken to a booth on the far side of the restaurant.

 

They both order a steak—Ali with a house salad and a baked potato and Ashlyn with a house salad and french fries—figuring that they should go all out for their first Valentine’s Day. Ashlyn’s eyes widen a bit at the prices but for Ali, no cost is too much (though she is thankful that she got paid on Monday).

 

“Holy shit,” Ali says as she takes her first bite of steak. “This is incredible. Are you sure you don’t want me to cover part of the bill later?”

 

“Absolutely positive,” Ashlyn says. “I’m treating my girl for Valentine’s Day. You can treat next year.”

 

“Will you remember you said that next year or will you insist on paying again?” Ali asks, knowing that Ashlyn will fight her for the bill a year from now.

 

“The latter,” Ashlyn says, shrugging.

 

“Then I get to treat on Sweetest Day, how about that?”

 

“Okay, deal.”

 

If Ali has to sum up the date in one word it would be perfect. They have good food, good conversation, and they hold hands across the table every now and then. The only thing that could be better is if they were 21 and could drink wine with their dinner but considering everything else, this is a minor inconvenience and certainly not something that takes away from their night.

 

After they finish dinner and split a brownie sundae for dessert, Ashlyn drives back to campus, holding Ali’s hand the entire way. They go right to Ashlyn’s dorm when they’re back on campus, both women feeling giddy and ready to continue their night in the privacy of Ashlyn’s room.

 

“So you wanted me to model your gift?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Mmm, please,” Ali says. She lowers herself onto the papasan and watches in delight as Ashlyn slowly strips out of her suit and changes her light grey Calvin Klein set for the black one Ali purchased.

 

“I don’t know why I’m putting these on when you’re just gonna take them off of me,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Gotta make sure they fit, right?” Ali says, sucking in a shallow breath at her naked girlfriend. She watches as Ashlyn pulls her new bra and underwear on, more pleased with her gift than ever. The elastic on the bra falls just under Ashlyn’s breasts while the waistband of the tight boxer briefs come up to her hips, leaving her toned abdomen on full display for Ali to see and enjoy. “So sexy,” Ali says.

 

“Yeah?” Ashlyn asks. She turns around, wiggling her ass a little for Ali. “How’s that?”

 

“I love it,” Ali says as she stands. “Let me touch.”

 

Ashlyn closes the gap between them, absolutely loving this slight role reversal. It’s no secret that she worships Ali’s body but for Ali to be this dominant, this forward, does something to Ashlyn. Once she’s within reach, Ali reaches out and gently touches the exposed skin of Ashlyn’s abdomen. Ashlyn’s muscles involuntarily clench at the gentle touch, which Ali seems to thoroughly enjoy.

 

“Do I get to find out what you’re wearing under that dress?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Why don’t you take it off of me and find out.”

 

Ashlyn does as she’s told, helping pull the dress over Ali’s head. When she sees Ali’s red lace bra and panties, she feels like she’s been given a second gift.

 

“Holy shit, Al.”

 

“That’s how I feel about you in the ones I got you,” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn kisses Ali deeply, pulling their bodies flush together. She palms Ali’s ass while Ali runs her hands up and down Ashlyn’s back and underneath the elastic on her bra.

 

Neither of their undergarment sets last very long, a heap of red lace and black cotton ending up in a pile on the floor by the time they climb the ladder to Ashlyn’s bed. Ali takes the control, straddling Ashlyn as they make out. She kisses her way down Ashlyn’s neck until she reaches her breasts where she leaves as many hickies as her heart desires until Ashlyn begs for more.

 

“Al, please, I swear I’m gonna come in, like, two seconds once you finally touch me.”

 

Ali sees this as a challenge. She tugs on each of Ashlyn’s nipples with her teeth one more time before rolling off of her girlfriend and settling onto her back. Since the first time they had sex, they’ve tried various positions but the lofted twin bed is extremely limiting and they’ve found that Ashlyn’s theory was right that riding each other’s faces is the most comfortable position for both of them in such a small bed.

 

When Ali lies on her back, Ashlyn doesn’t even need to be told what to do. She settles herself above Ali and tries to mentally prepare herself for Ali to drag this out as long as possible. Instead of soft and gentle, however, Ali gives her fast and firm and Ashlyn almost blacks out in pleasure.

 

“Fuck, Ali,” Ashlyn moans. Her pleasure builds in such a way that it almost teeters to the side of pain as Ali pushes her closer and closer to the edge. In fact, she’s just about to pull away for a bit of a break when she comes suddenly, a strangled moan escaping her lips. She rides out her orgasm, staying on top of Ali as Ali cleans her off before collapsing into bed, exhausted like she’s just finished soccer practice.

 

“Are you okay?” Ali asks, brushing sweaty hair away from Ashlyn’s forehead.

 

“I think I just saw God,” Ashlyn says. “I’m pretty sure I ascended into heaven right at the end there.”

 

“Yeah, you came pretty hard,” Ali smirks.

 

“I can never move again,” Ashlyn says.

 

“As long as you can move your tongue, I don’t really care,” Ali says.

 

“I can assure you it still works. Come up here so I can show you.”

 

Ali complies with Ashlyn’s request and straddled her girlfriend’s face. Ashlyn still seems a little out of it from her own powerful orgasm so she’s a little slow and sloppy at first but once she fully recovers, she picks up the pace, much to Ali’s delight.

 

“So good, baby,” Ali says. She pinches her own nipples, grinding her hips to get as much friction on her clit as possible. After getting Ashlyn off like that, she’s already close to the edge herself so she’s moaning within no time. “Ash, just like that,” she says when Ashlyn finds the perfect pace and pressure. “Ahh, fuck me.”

 

Ali rolls her nipples between her fingers, her hands freezing where they are when she feels the first tingles of her orgasm approaching. Her body goes rigid and she moans Ashlyn’s name as she comes, resting her forehead against the wall as Ashlyn gently brings her back down to earth.

 

“Best Valentine’s Day ever,” Ali says, moving to lie next to Ashlyn who wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Ali leans in for a kiss, tasting herself on Ashlyn’s tongue.

 

“I couldn’t agree more.”

 

“So what does God look like?” Ali asks, lazily running her fingers up and down Ashlyn’s arm.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You said you saw God when you came,” Ali says, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn.

 

“Oh, she was beautiful. Long dark hair and light brown eyes. And the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen.”

 

“You’re so cheesy,” Ali laughs. “But I love you a lot so I’ll allow it.”

 

“Yeah, you love me with all your butt,” Ashlyn says. “Which is, uh, it’s saying something.” She trails her hand down to the curve of Ali’s ass, cupping it a little as Ali continues tickling her arm.

 

“I knew you would love that card. It was honestly too perfect to pass up. I love this necklace.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, bringing her hand up to Ali’s chest and taking the necklace between her fingers. A few months ago, she never would’ve thought that she would end up with Ali at all, let alone by Valentine’s Day, and the heart necklace speaks volumes about how their relationship has changed recently. The little heart pendant rests right above where Ali’s heart is and as Ashlyn runs her thumb over the pendant, she can feel Ali’s heart beat.

 

“Did you ever think we’d end up here? Before we started dating, I mean.”

 

“I hoped we would,” Ali says. “I mean, I didn’t think about today specifically but I hoped that I would muster up the courage to be out so I could be with you. That was all the encouragement I needed, really, and it just took me a while to realize that.”

 

“I’m still so proud of you. You know that, right?”

 

Ali nods and presses a gentle kiss to Ashlyn’s lips. She rests a hand on Ashlyn’s hip, brushing her thumb back and forth across Ashlyn’s skin. “I could stay right here forever.”

 

“We kinda do, don’t we?’ Ashlyn says. “We spend a lot of time in this tiny bed. Not that I’m complaining because I fully agree that I wish we could stay here forever.”

 

“Just think of all the sex we could have.”

 

“Guess we have to make the best of our time,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali in for a deep kiss.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little bit of valentine's day for you tonight ;) 
> 
> two more chapters left in freshman year and then there are some bigger gaps in between chapters to move things along a little more. Sophomore year lasts about six chapters and I'm not yet finished with junior year but length wise it'll be somewhere between freshman and sophomore years. 
> 
> Since I'm so far ahead in writing, if you're really nice I might be convinced to update tomorrow ;)
> 
> also, this chapter officially pushed me over the 500,000 words posted threshold on here. That's 500k words of a team fics so thank you all again for reading my stories so I can continue with this creative outlet.


	18. Chapter 18

 

 

Spring semester flies by. As much as Fall semester seemed to drag on and on with their crushes on one another, Spring semester feels like it lasts just a few days. When Ali goes dress shopping for the formal with her sorority sisters, it feels like she it was just a week ago that she was sending Ashlyn photos from the dressing room on New Year’s Eve.

 

This time, she decides that Ashlyn will have to wait to see what she chooses. It’s a special event, kind of like they’re attending prom together, so Ali wants the full experience of Ashlyn seeing her in her dress for the first time on the day of the formal. She goes shopping with Heather, Becky, and Christen, her most trusted sorority sisters and some of her closest friends.

 

“So what kind of dresses are we thinking?” Christen asks when they arrive at the mall and head towards the nearest department store to start their search.

 

“I’m thinking simple and elegant. Probably navy because I’ve never done that for a formal before.” Becky says.

 

“Probably something black,” Heather says. “Can’t go wrong there because it’s flattering and timeless. Plus, it’ll make it super easy for Dave. I always have to pick his tie for him because he can never properly match stuff to my dress. Couldn’t be more straightforward than black. How about you, Ali?”

 

Ali thinks for a moment. She loves black and Heather is right, it’s super flattering and elegant but she wouldn’t mind a color. “I’m not sure, really, I know Ash loves when I wear red so I might try some red dresses but I’m open to almost anything.”

 

“Well I’m looking for something black,” Christen says. “Chic and elegant with some cutouts maybe.”

 

They look through the department store, mostly striking out. Only Becky and Christen try something on but neither are willing to commit to the dresses so all four leave the store empty handed. The next store they visit is a formal wear specific store with a wider array of options.

 

Ali ends up trying two different dresses and while they’re pretty and she feels confident in then, they’re not what she’s looking for. Heather and Christen end up picking their dresses, though, so as they ring up at the register, Ali and Becky browse the racks once more. On this second pass through, Ali finds a style of dress she hadn’t seen before. It’s on the back of one of the racks and it appears to be the only one left in the style.

 

“Look at this one, Beck,” Ali says, waving Becky over. The burgundy dress has a v-neck and thin straps that crisscross in the back. The dress is flowy and with a hi-low hemline and a slit up the left side, which Ali knows Ashlyn will love because it’ll show off her legs.

 

Becky comes over, stopping at Ali’s side and studying the dress. “Holy shit, Ali, that’s beautiful.”

 

“It’s the last one and it’s my size. I think I have to try it on.”

 

They tell Christen and Heather where they’re going and head back to the fitting rooms together. Ali strips her clothes in the fitting room and when she goes to put the dress on, she realizes that it’s actually a wrap dress, which is usually a flattering style on her. She pulls the dress on, ensuring to pull the thin ties tight enough and tying them behind her back.

 

It’s perfect.

 

The color is perfect with her complexion and the v-neck is sexy and classy at the same time. The side slit comes almost all of her left leg exposed which she knows will drive Ashlyn crazy throughout the night. Plus, when the end of the night comes, the wrap style will make it easy to take off without a zipper to fumble with.

 

She exits the fitting room, showing off the dress to Becky.

 

“You look hot,” Becky says. “I can’t believe it’s the only one and it’s your size.”

 

“You think Ash will like it?”

 

“Ali, I’m straight and even I would sleep with you looking like that. If you didn’t have a girlfriend, obviously.”

 

“Good to know,” Ali laughs. Just as she’s about to go back into the fitting room, Heather and Christen come back with their dress bags in hand.

 

“Wow, Ali,” Christen says. “I love that.”

 

“Yeah, Al, you need to get that one,” Heather says. “Ash is gonna be drooling all night with that slit all the way up your leg.”

 

“Oh, for sure,” Ali says. She goes back into the fitting room, carefully removing the dress and putting it back on the hanger. When she’s dressed in her own clothes again, she carries the dress out, spotting her friends waiting for her outside of the shop in the main part of the mall.

 

On her way up to the register from the fitting rooms, she passes by the menswear section. Curious, she decides to peruse the ties and bowties, hoping that there will be one that matches her dress. Since it’s a formal, she decides that she’d like to see Ashlyn in a bowtie so she spins the little rack around, eyes landing on a burgundy one with what appears to be white polka dots. Upon further inspection, however, Ali finds that they’re actually tiny skull and crossbones. She takes one off of the rack and holds it up to her dress. The shades of burgundy are slightly different but the tie is very Ashlyn and the colors are close enough that Ali knows she has to purchase it.

 

She can already imagine how they’ll look next weekend, Ashlyn in her black suit, a white shirt, and this skull and crossbones bowtie next to her in the burgundy wrap dress. She simply cannot wait.

 

She takes both items to the register, watching as the cashier rings her items and puts her dress in a long dress bag and the bowtie into a small shopping bag.

 

“Here you go,” the cashier says, handing Ali her bags once the payment has gone through. “Enjoy.”

 

~

 

The next weekend, Ali and Ashlyn get to check into the hotel early, thanks to Ali’s parents’ reward card with the hotel chain. Ali still hasn’t shown Ashlyn her dress or the matching bowtie, only telling her to bring a black suit, white shirt, and her dress shoes.

 

After so many months in dorms, the hotel room seems massive and swanky. Best of all is the queen sized bed in the center of the room.

 

As soon as they’re in the door, Ashlyn drops her bag on the floor, tosses her garment bag across the desk, and flops down onto the bed with her arms spread wide.

 

“A bed on the ground, can you believe it?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Scoot over, you have to share,” Ali says, playfully pushing Ashlyn over to her usual side of the bed.

 

Ashlyn glares at Ali and very reluctantly moves over to share the bed, allowing Ali to settle in beside her. “Look, we can both lie on our backs or our stomachs. We don’t have to sleep on our sides to fit in bed together.”

 

“It’s the little things,” Ali grins. “You feel so far away. Can you even imagine if we’d picked the room with the king bed?”

 

“I think a king bed is bigger than our dorms.”

 

“Probably,” Ali laughs. She rolls on her side to look at her, amazed at how a simple thing like a hotel room has both of them feeling this excited. It’s just a hotel room thirty minutes away from campus but to them, it feels like a wonderful getaway and it has Ali almost wishing that they didn’t have to go to the formal later.

 

Ali is just about to suggest a nap when Ashlyn jumps out of bed suddenly and goes to the thermostat, turning it down. Ashlyn usually likes rooms a little warmer than she prefers so to watch Ashlyn turn the thermostat down instead of up is a little surprising.

 

“Hotel room protocol so we can snuggle under the heavy blankets,” Ashlyn explains, reading Ali’s confused expression.

 

Ashlyn crosses the room back to the bed, dropping down excitedly and wiggling under the covers, smiling the whole time.

 

“You’re adorable,” Ali says. She too gets under the covers, snuggling against Ashlyn’s side. “I’m sleepy.”

 

“Good thing we have the most comfortable bed in the world to take a nap in.”

 

~

 

By the time they wake up, it’s late afternoon and they have to start getting ready for the evening. They each take turns showering and when Ashlyn is done, Ali takes over the bathroom to do her hair and makeup and get dressed, leaving the main part of the room for Ashlyn to use. Ashlyn plays music on her bluetooth speaker so Ali leaves the bathroom door cracked open to listen to the tunes.

 

Ali keeps her hair and makeup relatively simple, sticking to loose waves in her hair and a fairly natural makeup look, though she does her eyes and lips a little darker than normal.

 

“Hey, Al,” Ashlyn calls, coming to the bathroom door but not daring to look inside and get in trouble for trying to sneak a peek. “You said you have a tie for me, right? I brought a black one just in case you forgot.”

 

“Yeah, I have one,” Ali says. “Let me put my dress on and I’ll get it for you.” As she unzips the garment bag hanging on the back of the bathroom door, she can’t help but smile at her girlfriend’s thoughtfulness. Although Ali assured her over and over that she she had a tie for her to wear, Ashlyn still packed one in case Ali forgot the one she bought.

 

In front of the dress hanger in the garment bag, Ali has a second hanger with a small lingerie bag looped around the top. She takes the lingerie bag off of the hanger, pulling a burgundy lace bra and panty set from within and putting the bag back on the hanger.

 

It’s a new set for tonight, purchased with this dress in mind and as Ali slips out of her lounge bra and panties and into the lacy set, she checks herself out in the mirror. The lace overlay bra adds a little bit of cleavage while the panties leave little to the imagination. She poses in the mirror, imaging just how much Ashlyn is going to love taking these garments off of her at the end of the night.

 

“You almost done in there?” Ashlyn asks through the door. “I gotta pee.”

 

“Yeah, just a sec.”

 

Ali tears her gaze away from the reflection and moves to pull her dress on. She pulls it around herself, ensuring that she pulls it tight enough so the bodice won’t come loose while she dances. Satisfied that it’s tight enough, she ties the thin strings around her back and studies herself once again.

 

Smiling, she saunters back out into the hotel room, finding Ashlyn sitting on the edge of the bed with some old movie playing on TV.

 

Ashlyn doesn’t care about the movie at all, having only turned the TV on to pass the time while she waited for Ali. When she hears Ali come out of the bathroom, she looks that direction, taking in the sight of her girlfriend.

 

Ali looks incredible. Ashlyn always thinks she looks beautiful but the dress accentuates her best features and Ashlyn already knows she’s gonna have a hard time keeping her hands out from under the slit all night.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Ashlyn says. She stands and closes the gap between them, kissing Ali on the cheek.

 

“I should’ve waited to put my lipstick on so you could give me a real kiss.”

 

“I’m sure I’ll cash in on it later,” Ashlyn says. She takes both of Ali’s hands, playfully spinning her around to see how the dress moves. “You know I’m gonna try to sneak my hands under this all night,” she says, demonstrating her point by sliding her right hand under the slit and around to Ali’s ass.

 

“Why do you think I got this dress?”

 

“You love to torture me.”

 

“Yep,” Ali grins. “Okay, I’ll get your tie now. I wasn’t really planning on getting you one because I figured you had a black tie you could wear but it was so cool and totally your style so I couldn’t pass it up,” she explains as she goes to her bag and reaches into the front pocket for the tie. When she secures it in her hand, she holds it behind her back and closes the gap between her and Ashlyn. “Ta-da,” she says, presenting Ashlyn with the tie.

 

Ashlyn takes the tie into her hands and looks at the design closely. “Are those skull and crossbones?”

 

Ali nods, a nose crinkling grin on her face. “Do you love it?”

 

“I do love it. Not as much as I love you, though.”

 

Ali can’t help it. She knows she’ll have to fix her lipstick but she doesn’t care. She kisses Ashlyn softly, pressing her body flush against her girlfriend’s. “Little preview of what’s gonna happen later,” she says when they pull apart.

 

Ashlyn smiles and takes the tie to the mirror, expertly tying it into a perfect bow. Ali watches her girlfriend work, imagining a younger version of Ashlyn first learning to tie a tie. “How’d you learn how to do that?”

 

“My grandpa taught me before prom. He said if I’m gonna wear ties I’m gonna wear them right and he doesn’t ever want to see me in a clip on tie. He taught me and Chris how to do regular and bowties.”

 

Ali smiles and slips her arms around Ashlyn’s waist from behind, standing on her toes so she can rest her chin on Ashlyn’s shoulder and see herself in the mirror. “My grandma taught me and my cousin how to french braid.”

 

“Well that’s a skill you need and this is one I need,” Ashlyn grins. She turns to kiss Ali’s cheek before looking back at their reflection in the mirror. “Damn, we look good together, don’t you think?”

 

“We’ll be the envy of everyone there,” Ali replies. Ashlyn turns in her arms and they face each other for a moment, sporting matching grins. “I am kind of nervous, though. Like, I haven’t hid our relationship from anyone, obviously, but there are some girls I talk to more than others so I think some still don’t know about us yet.”

 

“You know I’m so proud of you. It’s a big step and I’m so lucky to be the one who gets to experience this with you.”

 

“And I’m lucky that I have you by by side,” Ali says. She kisses Ashlyn again, her lips curling into a smile as they kiss. “Okay, okay, we have to take some selfies then we should get downstairs.”

 

Ali grabs her selfie stick out of her bag and attaches her phone to it. When it’s ready, she passes it off to Ashlyn who swivels around, looking for the best angle. “The light is better right here,” Ashlyn says, directing Ali where to stand and what direction to face. They smile for the photo and Ashlyn snaps a couple of frames just in case one doesn’t turn out. When they’re done with that pose, Ali presses a kiss to Ashlyn’s cheek, lingering so Ashlyn can get the shot.

 

“Let’s do one sitting on the bed too,” Ali suggests.

 

They sit side by side on the bed and Ashlyn collapses the selfie stick down a little to get a close up. When they’re satisfied with the photos they got, Ashlyn pockets her phone and room key while Ali grabs her lipstick from the bathroom and scrolls through the photos on her phone. “This one is so cute,” Ali says, showing Ashlyn a photo of her kissing Ashlyn on the cheek.

 

“Text that one to me. Actually, send them all to me.” Just as they’re about to leave the room, she remembers she has a full flask in her bag. Ali told her when she packed it that she has to leave it in the room because these events are generally strict about underage drinking so if they want to do a shot, they have to do it now or come back up to the room.

 

Ashlyn does a shot first, shaking her head as she swallows and passes the flask to Ali who mimics her actions. “Okay, now we can go,” Ashlyn says.

 

They’re hardly out of the door when they spot some of Ali’s sorority sisters making their way to the elevator in the best formal wear.

 

“Looking good, ladies,” says a girl Ashlyn knows she’s met before but cannot for the life of her remember her name at the moment. She wracks her brain, trying to remember but can only come up with Mckenzie, which she knows isn’t right. Luckily, Ali fills in the blank for her as they and another girl walk to the elevator together.

 

“Thanks, Madison. You look great too. So do you, Gabby. Are you two sharing a room?”

 

“Oh, yeah, neither of us has a date and it’s cheaper this way,” Madison says.

 

When they arrive at the elevator, Madison presses the down button, the dim light turning on. When the elevator arrives, they’re met with even more Kappa Deltas, many of whom Ashlyn doesn’t recognize at all. She stays relatively quiet, mainly to let Ali chat with her friends but partially because she keeps getting distracted by how amazing Ali looks in her dress.

 

The main floor of the hotel has almost completely been taken over by Kappa Delta. There are bundles of olive green and white balloons lining the hallway leading to the ballroom, outside of which is a big check-in table with a black tablecloth and the greek letters in olive green. Ashlyn isn’t sure how many people she expected to be here but she certainly didn’t expect this many. It’s at least as big as her junior and senior proms, if not bigger.

 

Ali leads the way to the check-in table which, as Ashlyn has learned from other Kappa Delta events, is staffed by four alumni volunteers. Ali gets in the line for people with last names starting with G-L, holding Ashlyn’s hand while they wait.

 

“Did I tell you how good you look tonight?” Ali asks.

 

“I think I was too busy telling you how good you look for you to get a word in.”

 

“Well you look beautiful and I love this tie on you,” Ali says. She drops Ashlyn’s hand for a moment, straightening Ashlyn’s bowtie and smoothing her collar and lapels. “Your grandparents are gonna love seeing the pictures from tonight on facebook.”

 

“Sorry in advance for the amount of comments grandma is gonna leave on them,” Ashlyn says.

 

“She loves you too much she can’t help it,” Ali says. “I know the feeling.”

 

Ashlyn is still smiling when they make it to the front of the line.

 

“Alexandra Krieger,” Ali says. “And this is my plus one.”

 

The volunteer, who doesn’t seem too much older than they are, looks Ashlyn up and down, a poorly hidden look of disgust on her face. Ashlyn is used to these types of reactions from strangers but she knows this whole thing is new to Ali and she’s not sure of how she’ll react.

 

Ali doesn’t miss a beat. “She’s my girlfriend. Doesn’t she look beautiful?”

 

The woman gives them a tight lipped smile. “Mmhmm.” She looks for Ali’s name on the list and crosses it out before handing over two olive green wristbands with “formal 2018” in white writing. She doesn’t say another word and when Ali and Ashlyn walk away from the table, Ali is fuming.

 

“I swear to god I want to rip those plastic ass extensions out of that girl’s head. To think that we represent the same sorority is disgusting.”

 

Ashlyn puts a gentle hand on Ali’s shoulder, calming her a little. It’s certainly not her worst ever encounter with someone who doesn’t like the way she dresses or her being with another women but Ali has never experienced it before and she doesn’t seem to know what to do.

 

“Ignore her, Al, she doesn’t matter. We can’t let it ruin our night.”

 

“But did you see the way she looked at you? I don’t like that. You are beautiful inside and out and she looked at you like you’re gum on her shoe or something.”

 

“Baby,” Ashlyn says gently, “I love you and as much as I don’t like that you’re upset, I do love that you care about this. But, really, I’m fine. We’re gonna have so much fun tonight, okay? And, look, there’s Heather and Becky.” She points inside of the ballroom to where she sees Heather and Becky by the punch table.

 

Ashlyn puts the wristband on Ali and pulls up her sleeve a little so Ali can do the same for her. When their bands are secure, Ashlyn takes Ali’s hand and leads her into the ballroom, both of them flashing their wristbands for the person at the door. They go right to the punch table and greet their friends.

 

“Wow, you two clean up well,” Ashlyn compliments.

 

“Hey, we got nothin’ on you two,” Heather says. “You both look incredible.”

 

“Where’s Dave?” Ali asks. “Didn’t he come?”

 

“Oh, yeah, he just went to the bathroom,” Heather says. “He said I hogged the bathroom in our room and didn’t give him enough time to go before we had to come down here.”

 

“Sounds like what Ali did to me,” Ashlyn laughs. “What about Christen?”

 

“Over there talking to Dominique,” Becky says, pointing towards one of the tables. Ali and Ashlyn look towards where she’s pointing and sure enough, there’s Christen talking to one of the girls in her and Ali’s pledge class.

 

“Hey, will one of you take a few pictures of me and Ash in front of those floral arrangements?” Ali asks, pointing to the green and white arrangements on pedestals nearby. Both girls agree and say that they want some photos too so they wander over there as a group. Ali and Ashlyn pose first, Ashlyn with her hand in her pocket and Ali holding onto her bicep.

 

“Super cute you guys,” Heather says as she snaps photos on Ali’s phone.

 

“I’ll go get Chris,” Becky says. “We should do some big little pictures.”

 

As she leaves the group to go get Christen, Ali and Ashlyn pose for a few more pictures before Ashlyn trades places with Heather. Ali and Heather do a few different poses, including one with their hands that Ashlyn recognizes from other photos she’s taken of them at Kappa Delta events. Becky and Christen soon join them, doing a matching hand symbol as all four girls smile.

 

“You’re all models,” Ashlyn says, grinning. Just as soon as they’re almost done taking pictures, Dave finds them so Ashlyn pockets Ali’s phone again and takes Heather’s to get some pictures of her and Dave.

 

By the time they’re done, there are a few people who have caught onto their location idea so they hurry out of the way and let others use the backdrop.

 

It seems to Ashlyn as if half the point of the formal is to take as many posed photos as possible. She’s not in many of them—just the ones with only her and Ali and any other ones with dates included—which is fine by her. They’ve been there nearly an hour before anyone starts dancing but once people get out on the dancefloor, Ali is eager to drag Ashlyn out there.

 

Ali has already ditched her heels by their table so when they get out there, she’s ready to dance. Ali isn’t sure if it was the shot in their hotel room or if she’s just in a good mood but she feels borderline giddy as she and Ashlyn dance. They’re both kind of silly in their dancing at first, jumping around and doing stupid moves to make each other laugh but when the next song starts, Ashlyn pulls Ali close and they start moving together.

 

“You look so hot tonight,” Ashlyn says.

 

“So do you,” Ali says, swaying her hips a little more than necessary when Ashlyn’s hands find their way to her lower back. “This bowtie is absolutely perfect for you.”

 

“I think it’s gonna be my go-to now,” Ashlyn says.

 

Neither woman says much more as they lose themselves in the beat of the music. Sometimes they dance just the two of them and other times Ali’s friends make their way over and they dance in a group but the one thing that never changes is just how attracted Ashlyn is to Ali in that dress. In fact, it only gets more pronounced throughout the evening.

 

When the DJ changes things up and plays a slower song, Versace on the Floor, Ashlyn pulls Ali close by the waist, her hands immediately going to Ali’s back but stopping just short of grabbing her ass. Ali loops her arms around Ashlyn’s neck and smiles as she meets Ashlyn’s gaze.

 

“I love you,” Ali says. She kisses Ashlyn quickly and smiles as she nuzzles against Ashlyn’s shoulder. Ashlyn leads their movements, her hands wandering along Ali’s lower back and sneaking a couple of feels of her ass while Ali rests her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. Halfway through the song, Ali lifts her head to meet Ashlyn’s gaze again.

 

She’s not sure what it is, the song, Ashlyn’s wandering hands, or how happy she is tonight but suddenly, she can’t wait until the end of the night to be alone with Ashlyn again.

 

“What are you thinking?” Ashlyn asks, noticing the change in Ali’s expression.

 

“Will you take me upstairs?”

 

“Al, this thing isn’t over for another couple of hours,” Ashlyn says.

 

“I know, I know,” Ali says. “We’ll come back down I just want to be alone with you right now. I want your hands on me and we can’t exactly do that in the middle of the dance floor.”

 

Ashlyn grins and takes Ali’s hand, leading her off of the dance floor and away from the event. They’re quiet in the elevator but they’re alone for the first time in hours and Ashlyn can’t resist slipping a hand under the slit on Ali’s dress. She squeezes Ali’s thigh, smirking at Ali’s sharp intake of breath.

 

“You’re really worked up, huh?”

 

Ali nods, biting her bottom lip. “I have no idea why but I couldn’t wait until the end of the night to go back to our room.”  

 

The elevator arrives at their floor so Ashlyn takes Ali’s hand again and leads her down the hall to their room. She pulls their key from her back pocket and swipes it through the lock. She’s a little too impatient, though, and tries to open the door before the little lights turn green so it remains locked and she has to try again. When she finally gets the door open, Ali gently pushes her inside, nearly slamming the door closed behind them.

 

Ashlyn doesn’t waste any time. She pushes Ali up against the wall just inside the door, only pausing to make sure Ali is okay when her head thuds against the wall.

 

“I’m fine,” Ali says. “You’re hot like this.”

 

Ashlyn smirks and kisses Ali deeply, her hand immediately going to her thighs. They kiss hungrily, soft moans escaping both of their lips. Ashlyn kisses her way down to Ali’s neck, nipping and sucking at her collarbone. She doesn’t stay in one spot for too long, knowing that Ali will be pretty pissed if she has to walk back into the formal with a brand new hickey. She’s just as content paying attention to every bit of skin she can.

 

Ali digs her head back against the wall, giving Ashlyn all the space she needs to kiss her neck. She grips Ashlyn’s arms, not wanting to mess up Ashlyn’s hair so they can get back downstairs sooner.

 

Ashlyn is more aggressive than normal, which drives Ali crazy. Ashlyn keeps her pressed against the wall and when Ali tries to move Ashlyn’s hand between her legs, Ashlyn pins Ali’s arms against her side. “Not yet,” Ashlyn nearly growls.

 

Ashlyn kisses down to Ali’s chest, becoming frustrated when her lips meet the fabric of Ali’s dress. She knows they don’t have time for that—or, rather, they’ll never make it back downstairs if they shed their clothes—so she kisses back up to Ali’s lips instead.

 

She snakes a hand under Ali’s dress, her fingertips meeting the lace of Ali’s thong. Ali’s panties are completely soaked which turns Ashlyn on even more. She pushes the material aside and starts stroking Ali with her fingers, drawing a loud moan from her girlfriend.

 

This fuels Ashlyn even more. She starts moving her fingers in a fast pace, stroking Ali a few times before pressing two fingers into her. She curls her fingers against Ali’s g-spot, keeping up her vigorous pace.

 

“I’m so clo—” Ali starts, the end of her sentence lost in a moan. “Fuck.”

 

With Ashlyn’s pace and how worked up Ali was, it takes no time at all for Ali to come undone. When she comes, her legs shake so bad that Ashlyn has to support her. “You okay?” Ashlyn asks quietly.

 

Ali nods, her eyes closed as Ashlyn pulls her fingers out of her and licks them clean. “Okay, I think I can move now,” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn steps back, finally allowing Ali to move from her place against the wall. “You sure you’re okay? I didn’t hurt you or anything?”

 

“I’m great,” Ali promises. “That was amazing.” She kisses Ashlyn, lingering just a little. When they part, she taps Ashlyn on the butt and smiles. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom and get a fresh pair of underwear since these are kinda done for the night.”

 

“Probably a good idea,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

“You’ll be okay waiting until we get back later for me to make you come?” Ali asks as she goes to her bag and finds a new pair of panties.

 

“I mean, I’ll be so worked up that a feather could put me over the edge but I’ll be okay. Just not too much teasing, please.”

 

“We’ll see,” Ali says.

 

When they get back down to the event, Christen greets the immediately. “Hey, we were looking for you, Ali. We’re gonna take a group photo of all of us sorority sisters.” Ali’s cheeks flush red and Christen gives her a soft smile. “It’s okay, Heather stalled by taking the mic from the DJ and doing her thing. Thanking everyone for coming and a great school year, classic Heather stuff when she realized you weren’t here. I don’t think many people knew the difference.”

 

Christen leads both Ali and Ashlyn to where Heather is dancing with Dave. “Hey, sorry,” Ali greets, cheeks going red once again.

 

“No worries,” Heather says. “We just forgot to get a group photo before we started so I’ll tell the DJ to pause the music after this song and we’ll get everyone.”

 

When the picture is out of the way, the DJ gets the music going again so Ali and Ashlyn join their friends on the dance floor. As much as Ashlyn got worked up when they snuck away, she kind of forgets about it as they have fun with their friends. Though she only knows the Kappa Deltas through Ali, they’ve come to be some of her friends just as Ashlyn’s teammates have become Ali’s friends. If it weren’t for Ali, she never would’ve met these women and she smiles as she realizes how much bigger Ali makes her world.

 

They hardly take a break from dancing all night and after the last song plays, they all go back to their table and chug water while they gather their things.

 

“I already can’t wait for next year,” Ali says.

 

“I think I’m gonna need until next year to recover,” Christen says.

 

They all walk to the elevator together, waiting as the two elevators take up groups of people. When they make it to Christen and Becky’s floor, they say their goodnights and then finally two floors later, it’s Ali and Ashlyn’s turn to exit. “Have a good night, guys,” Ashlyn says to Heather and Dave.

 

“You too,” Heather grins.

 

Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand as they walk through the hallway, her heels in Ashlyn’s other hand. “Tonight was so fun,” Ali says.

 

“Oh, it’s not over yet.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next up: summer break


	19. Chapter 19

  
  


For the first time in Ashlyn’s life, the end of the school year comes far too early for her liking. The end of the school year used to mean summer vacation and more time to spend on the water but now, all Ashlyn can think is that it means months away from Ali. When Ali heads back to DC for the summer, Ashlyn will go down to Florida for two weeks at home before coming back to campus for preseason training and work. They plan on visiting each other once or twice but both know it won’t be the same. 

 

Instead of moving all of her belongings home for a few months, Ali moves whatever won’t fit in her car into Heather’s room at the sorority house. Heather has a single room and will be going home for most of the summer anyway so she assures Ali she doesn’t mind. 

 

Ashlyn, meanwhile, moves her stuff into the house she’ll share with Kelley, Tobin, Alex, and Whitney. Ashlyn’s room was previously occupied by a senior player who was drafted into the NWSL but who elected to finish her time at school before joining her professional team. She moves out as soon as she’s done with exams which allows Ashlyn to move right in even though she won’t be on campus for a few weeks. By the time they finish moving her stuff from the dorms, the only thing that’s missing is a bed. 

 

“Looks good,” Ali says. She’s wearing one of Ashlyn’s cutoff tanks, her hair in a messy bun after spending all day moving herself and Ashlyn out of their dorms. Ashlyn still thinks she looks sexy. 

 

“I wish I had a bed in here. We’d definitely have to stay here tonight.” 

 

“Not gonna lie, I think I’m gonna like one last night in your dorm. We have some good memories there.” 

 

“The best memories,” Ashlyn says. 

 

They go back to the dorm together, spending the night in the loft bed one more time. Neither is going to miss sleeping in a twin bed nearly six feet off of the ground but they will miss all the good times they spent in this room together. It’s where they fell for each other so the whole thing feels far too bittersweet for Ashlyn’s liking. 

 

The sleep curled together that night (not that they have a choice in such a small bed) but Ashlyn dreads the morning so much that she doesn’t sleep very well at all. They have to turn in their keys at 11:00 in the morning and just before they leave Ashlyn’s room, Ali insists they take a selfie together with the room in the background so they can look back on this moment someday. 

 

Ashlyn’s flight back home isn’t until the evening and since Ali is dropping her off at the airport before leaving for DC, she has some time to kill as well. 

 

“Want to go bed shopping with me?” Ashlyn asks. “I want to have one before I come back in a couple of weeks. Tobin is staying so she said I can have it delivered to the house and she’ll show them where my room is.” 

 

“Of course,” Ali grins. “I’m sure I’ll be spending a lot of time in this bed so I have to make sure you get a good one. Are you gonna get a new one or do you want to look at resale places?” 

 

“Uh, I think new,” Ashlyn says. “I know it’ll be more money but I’ve been saving and it’s something I’ll have for a long time.” 

 

Ashlyn finds a nearby mattress store on google and sets her phone to navigate while Ali drives. It’s their last few hours together for the foreseeable future and she makes the most of it by holding Ashlyn’s hand in her lap. 

 

The day passes far too quickly for their liking and before they know it, they’re saying goodbye outside the departures terminal at the airport. Ashlyn hasn’t even unbuckled yet when Ali breaks down crying. 

 

“Baby, don’t cry,” Ashlyn says, turning to face Ali. She cradles Ali’s face in her hands and gently wipes away her tears with her thumbs. “You’re gonna make me cry too.” 

 

“I’m sorry I just hate saying goodbye,” Ali says. She leans across the center console, nuzzling against Ashlyn’s chest as her tears continue to fall. “I’m gonna miss you.” 

 

“I’m gonna miss you too. So, so much. But you can come visit me once I’m back up here and I’ll try to come visit you, okay? We can start planning something soon so we’ll have it to look forward to.”

 

Ali nods against Ashlyn’s chest. She takes a shaky breath and lifts her head so she can look into Ashlyn’s eyes. “I love you.” 

 

“I love you more,” Ashlyn says. “How many shirts of mine did you steal for when you miss me over the summer?” 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ali says, crossing her arms over her chest. 

 

“Sure you don’t,” Ashlyn laughs. “For the record, I stole two of your sweatshirts and a t-shirt.” 

 

“Okay, fine, I stole a couple of shirts and your black team sweatpants with your number on them.”

 

“Mmm, make sure you wear those when we FaceTime one time—I think I’ll like seeing you wearing my number.” 

 

“And here I was planning on wearing nothing when we FaceTime,” Ali teases. 

 

Ashlyn laughs as she checks her watch, her face falling when she realizes she has only a couple of minutes left to say goodbye before she’s in danger of missing her flight. “Let’s get out of the car so I can give you a real hug goodbye, okay?” 

 

They both get out of the car and stand on the sidewalk outside the airport together. Ashlyn takes both of Ali’s hands in hers, lacing their fingers together. She holds Ali’s gaze for a moment, willing herself not to cry as tears well up in Ali’s eyes again. “We’ll be okay,” Ashlyn promises. “And I’m serious about you visiting soon. I’ll need some help breaking in my new bed.” 

 

Ali rolls her eyes and pulls Ashlyn in for a kiss, squeezing both of her hands. “Okay, so when do you get back from Florida? I think this’ll be easier if we have a plan before you leave. Otherwise, I don’t think I’m gonna make it out of the parking lot without pulling over to cry.” 

 

“Uh, just over two weeks,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“I could come visit in three weeks,” Ali offers. “It’s less than four hours to drive here from my house so it’s doable for a weekend, right?” 

 

“Right. Honestly, that works for me. And you wouldn’t have to leave after just the weekend we could make it a long weekend, if you want.”

 

“I’ll be working at Liz’s mom’s store but I should be able to get three or four days off to come visit.”

 

“Okay so three weeks isn’t so bad. We can do three weeks,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali nods, pulling Ashlyn in for a hug. She feels much better now that they have a plan to see each other in a few weeks, though she’s still going to miss Ashlyn during their time apart. As long as they can see each other once a month over break, it’ll be much more manageable. 

 

“I really have to go catch my flight. I love you a lot and I’ll see you in three weeks.” 

 

“Love you more,” Ali says. She kisses Ashlyn again and then watches as Ashlyn pulls her bag out of the backseat. “Text me when you land.” 

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn grins, kissing Ali one last time.

 

~

 

The next three weeks pass just like their holiday break back in December and January with FaceTime calls and more texts and snapchats than Ali can count. The main difference, however, is that they’re much bolder in their communication, even sexting and having sex over their video chats some nights. The first night it happens, Ali feels more than a little awkward. There’s no awkwardness when they’re really together anymore but this is completely different. When they’re together, they can kiss to get themselves worked up and now they have to rely on what they’re saying and do things like strip in front of their cameras. 

 

Through some trial and error, they figure out what works and what doesn’t and the awkwardness disappears. It does the trick and it’s as close as they can get to the real thing until Ali visits so they both start looking forward to these types of calls.

 

Just before Ali leaves for her visit, Ashlyn texts a photo of herself in bed. She’s wearing the Calvin Klein set Ali bought her for Valentine’s Day and she’s sprawled across her new bed. 

 

_ Hurry up and get here. I miss you.  _

 

Just under four hours later, Ali pulls up to the house Ashlyn now shares with her teammates to find Ashlyn waiting for her on the front porch. Ashlyn nearly sprints to the car as Ali gets out of the driver’s seat. 

 

“You’re here,” Ashlyn says. She wraps Ali in a hug, lifting her from the ground and spinning a little. 

 

“I was hoping you’d still be half naked waiting for me,” Ali says. 

 

“I don’t think my neighbors would want to see that,” Ashlyn laughs. She sets Ali down and goes to her trunk to help Ali bring her bag inside. None of Ashlyn’s housemates are home at the moment which after three weeks apart, is ideal for everyone involved. Ali and Ashlyn have one thing on their minds and it’s for the best that no one is around to interrupt. 

 

“Oh, yeah, I can get used to this,” Ali says as she drops down onto Ashlyn’s bed. 

 

“You sure you don’t want me to return this and get a twin loft again?” 

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” Ali laughs. Ashlyn lies next to her so Ali rolls onto her side, facing her girlfriend. 

 

Ashlyn scoots closer to Ali, pulling her against her chest and breathing in Ali’s scent. She runs a hand through Ali’s hair, simply enjoying being back in her presence again. They cuddle in silence for a few minutes before Ali finally pulls back and kisses Ashlyn, three weeks of sexual frustration finally catching up to them. 

 

There will be time for slow and gentle later but right now, both women are far too impatient for that. Ali straddles Ashlyn’s waist, leaning down to kiss her. They kiss hungrily, hands roaming each other’s bodies. Ashlyn’s hands, as always, find their way underneath the waistband of Ali’s leggings, grabbing her ass and using her leverage to pull Ali closer. Ali’s hands roam Ashlyn’s chest, finally settling when she grabs a fistful of Ashlyn’s t-shirt near the neckline. 

 

“This is in the way,” Ali says, tugging on the soft fabric. 

 

“Take it off, then.” Ali moves off of Ashlyn so they can take off their clothes, both women taking everything off at once so there’s nothing left in their way. When they're both bare, Ali looks Ashlyn up and down, drinking in her girlfriend’s body. 

 

“Stop staring and kiss me,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali back down. 

 

They pick up right where they left off with Ashlyn’s hands on Ali’s ass and Ali’s hands cupping Ashlyn’s breasts. Ashlyn’s back arches off of the bed, sucking in a shallow breath as her nipples harden at Ali’s touch. “Fuck I missed this,” she groans. 

 

Ali smiles into their kiss which makes Ashlyn smile into their kiss until they’re forced to stop for a second. Ali rests her forehead against Ashlyn’s both of them grinning. “You’re cute,” Ali says. 

 

Ashlyn hums, lightly running her hands over Ali’s skin. “You’re cute.” 

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn again, trailing kisses down Ashlyn’s neck and chest. She doesn’t leave hickeys where they’ll be visible for people to see but she does pay special attention to Ashlyn’s chest, nipping and sucking all over Ashlyn’s breasts while Ashlyn writhes beneath her. When she finally takes one of Ashlyn’s nipples into her mouth, Ashlyn’s back arches off of the bed once again. 

 

“Al please,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali continues teasing Ashlyn, seemingly intent on torturing her for as long as possible. When she pulls back for a moment, Ashlyn uses it as an opportunity to flip their positions, pinning Ali to the bed. 

 

Ali is surprised by the sudden move but if she’s honest, it turns her on even more. She knew Ashlyn was getting frustrated but she didn’t think she was frustrated enough to take control of the situation. Ali studies Ashlyn’s face, finding the fire and passion she’s used to but this time, it’s mixed with a frantic energy. 

 

Ali’s eyes go wide at Ashlyn’s actions and for a second, Ashlyn worries that she’s scared her somehow but Ali’s eyes soon fill with excitement and she lets out a little whimper, eliciting a smirk from Ashlyn. 

 

Unlike Ali, Ashlyn wastes no time at all. She kisses her way down Ali’s body and doesn’t stop until she’s settled between Ali’s legs. Ali bends her legs at the knees, trying to give Ashlyn all the room she needs. 

 

Ashlyn wraps her arms around Ali’s thighs, tasting her girlfriend after three weeks apart. She works at a furious pace, not wanting to waste a second before she makes Ali come. It’s been three weeks of video chat sex and although she knows she helped Ali come and vice versa, it was difficult not being able to touch her. 

 

“Ash,” Ali moans. Her hands go to Ashlyn’s head, holding her in place. 

 

Ashlyn continues her quest, using her tongue to push Ali closer and closer to the edge. When Ali gets close, she squeezes her thighs against Ashlyn’s head. Ashlyn doesn’t relent, even upping her pace until Ali comes, moaning Ashlyn’s name. 

 

Ashlyn still doesn’t stop. She strokes Ali gently through her orgasm and when she stills, she ups the pace once again, taking Ali by surprise. This time, Ashlyn changes the pace every so often, drawing it out as long as possible. 

 

“Hurry,” Ali whines when Ashlyn slows down again. “So sensitive.” 

 

Ashlyn wants to make sure Ali comes again before she’s too sensitive for more so she quickens her pace again, reaching her hands up to pinch Ali’s nipples to help things along. Ali comes with a strangled cry, her legs shaking against Ashlyn’s head. 

 

“So good, babe,” Ali says as Ashlyn crawls back up to the top of the bed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I’m not sure if I can move right now.” 

 

Ashlyn groans in frustration, dropping her head against the pillow. 

 

“I knew that would get to you,” Ali laughs. She swings a leg over Ashlyn’s waist, straddling her again. 

 

“I was about to say I’ll just masturbate because if I don’t come in the next few minutes I might die.”

 

“I’ve got you,” Ali says. She snakes her way down Ashlyn’s body, lying on her stomach in between Ashlyn’s thighs. She starts slow, working Ashlyn up even more until she knows she can’t tease her anymore. She quickens her pace, the simple change working wonders on Ashlyn who starts moaning Ali’s name over and over. 

 

Ashlyn comes with a gasp, her entire body going slack as Ali gently cleans her up before moving back up to her pillow. “So did you miss me?” Ali says. 

 

“More than you know.” 

 

~

 

Ali’s four day visit passes in a haze of lots of sex and cuddling. Before Ali leaves, they plan for her to visit in a month. They consider having Ashlyn come visit in DC but they’ll have more privacy here without Ali’s parents around which they know they’ll both want after a month apart. 

 

The goodbye is more difficult than ever but with a plan in place to see each other in a little over a month, they’re already counting down the hours until Ali’s next visit. 

 

Back at home, Ali throws herself into her summer job and spending time with friends from high school. She has a countdown app to her next visit with Ashlyn on her phone which she often sends Ashlyn updates about although she knows Ashlyn has one as well. 

 

When she misses Ashlyn the most, she pulls on one of her sweatshirts that she’s taken as her own and lies in bed imagining that Ashlyn is next to her. Sometimes, they FaceTime at night with the sole purpose of falling asleep together. 

 

After Ali’s second, week long visit, they don’t know when they’ll see each other again. Ali wants Ashlyn to come visit her in DC but Ashlyn has preseason training starting soon in addition to working in the library through the summer semester so she says it’ll be difficult to plan a trip to DC. 

 

What she doesn’t tell Ali is that she’s already planning a trip to DC for Ali’s birthday. She knows it would be easier to tell Ali that she plans on coming up for her birthday (she’d certainly get less attitude if she doesn’t brush off the idea of a birthday visit when Ali brings it up) but she likes the idea of surprising her. So she deals with Ali’s slight annoyance all while coordinating with Deb for her surprise visit. 

 

Deb, of course, loves the idea of Ashlyn surprising Ali on her birthday. Their schedules never did work out to come down to Carolina for a visit during spring semester so not only will Ali be happy about the surprise visit, she and Ken will get the chance to meet Ashlyn for the first time. 

 

It’s a Krieger family tradition that the birthday person gets to choose a restaurant for their birthday dinner so Deb suggests that Ashlyn arrive ahead of them and wait at their table for their arrival. Ali won’t suspect anything until the moment she sees Ashlyn.  

 

A few days before Ali’s birthday, which happens to fall on a Saturday this year, Ashlyn gets a text from Deb in the morning that Ali has picked Founding Farmers for her birthday dinner. Figuring the two girls would want as much time together as possible, Deb books an early dinner time, claiming to Ali that all the later times were already booked. 

 

Ashlyn has to be back on campus for training on Wednesday morning so she packs everything she’ll need for a three night stay, including the gift bag with Ali’s present: a set of gold stack rings. One of the rings has five small round black onyx stones while the other has nine even smaller round pyrite stones. They’re simple and will match anything and Ashlyn knows Ali will love to wear them both individually and as a set. 

 

Ashlyn texts Ali first thing in the morning. 

 

_ Happy birthday, baby. I love and miss you more than words can express. I hope you have the best day. Call me around 2:00 if you get the chance. I should have some time to talk in between training and work. Love you _

 

_ Thanks, babe. Wish you could be here :/ Can’t wait to talk to you!  _

 

Ali calls at exactly 2:00 and Ashlyn stifles a laugh at her always prompt girlfriend as she accepts the call and puts it on speakerphone. 

 

“How’s my birthday girl?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Good,” Ali says. “I miss you a lot though. Remind me again why you have to play soccer and can’t be with me?” 

 

“Well it’s kind of paying for my education and it’s what I want to do with my life. So as much as I hate being away from you today, I don’t really have a choice. I miss you so so much and I wish I could see you.” 

 

“Ugh, me too. Hey, what’s that noise?” 

 

“I’m just driving home from practice,” Ashlyn says. She planned on talking to Ali for as long as possible but she didn’t think about the fact that Ali would be able to tell she’s in the car. Driving home from practice is a good cover story but it only buys her about ten minutes of talk time before Ali will question why it’s taking her so long to get home. 

 

“How’s the team look this year?” 

 

“Really good. Some of our freshmen are incredible. Us older ones are really gonna have to fight to keep our starting spots which should make everyone better in the end.” 

 

“That’s great,” Ali says. “I can’t wait to cheer you guys on to another title.” 

 

“So are you doing anything special for your birthday?” 

 

“Not much but my parents and I are going to Founding Farmers for dinner tonight. I got to pick so of course that was my choice. You really need to come to visit so I can take you there.” 

 

“Hopefully we’ll be able to figure something out soon,” Ashlyn says. “Listen, I hate to do this but I have to let you go. I need a nap before work tonight but I’ll call you as soon as I’m home for the night, okay?” 

 

Ali doesn’t answer right away and when she does, Ashlyn can hear the disappointment in her voice. “Yeah, okay. I love you.” 

 

“I love you too. Happy birthday, baby.” 

 

~

 

Ali is in a weird mood all day. She’s happy it’s her birthday, of course, but she misses Ashlyn and wishes they could celebrate together. She tries to make the best of it and when it’s time to get ready for dinner, she picks her favorite tank dress and sandals. She toys with the necklace Ashlyn gave her for Valentine’s Day, as she usually finds herself doing when she misses her. 

 

They fight the traffic on their way into the city and when they arrive, the restaurant is packed. Deb walks up to the stand to say they have a reservation while Ken stays back with Ali, chatting with her so she won’t hear what Deb says. 

 

“Hi, we have a reservation,” Deb says as quietly as possible. “Under Krieger. We should have someone waiting for us at our table already. It’s a surprise.” 

 

The host nods his understanding and plays along. “Krieger for three, right this way,” he says. He takes three menus from the stand and leads them towards the back of the restaurant. 

 

Deb slyly allows Ali to walk in front of her so that when their table comes into view, Ali will be able to see Ashlyn sitting there. 

 

When it becomes clear what table they’re being led to, Ali’s eyes land on a familiar form. Ashlyn is sitting on an angle with her back to the walkway but Ali would recognize her anywhere. Although she recognizes her, it takes Ali a moment to realize what’s happening, to find her voice. By the time she can say anything, they’re almost to the table. 

 

“Ash?” Ali calls, causing Ashlyn to turn around, a big, bright smile on her face.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so do you want the rest of this visit in a few days? 
> 
> next chapter covers ashlyn's visit and the chapter after that brings the start of some angst so get ready ;)


	20. Chapter 20

  


Ali nearly runs to close the gap between them as Ashlyn stands. When she’s within reach, she nearly tackles Ashlyn with the force of her hug.

 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Ali says. She nuzzles against Ashlyn’s neck, holding her close. Ashlyn is wearing a short sleeve button down that Ali has never seen before paired with black jeans, hi-top sneakers, and her gold watch. She looks so good and after more than a month apart, Ali knows she’s gonna have a hard time not getting too affectionate while her parents are around.

 

“Surprise,” Ashlyn says. She kisses Ali, painfully aware that they’re in public and that she hasn’t yet met Ali’s parents. She keeps it chaste for everyone’s sake, banking her real kisses for later when they’re alone.

 

They all take their seats Ali the table, Ali and Ashlyn across from Ali’s parents. Ali sits close by Ashlyn’s side, holding her hand.

 

“How are you here?” Ali asks. “Are you skipping practice tomorrow or something?”

 

“No, I may have fibbed a little. I don’t have practice until Wednesday so I’m here for a few days. Your mom helped me plan all this.”

 

“Wait, so this whole time you made me believe that there was no way you could come for my birthday but you were planning to be here the entire time? Wouldn’t it have just been easier to tell me you would be here?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “Of course it would’ve but I wanted to surprise you. Your face when I turned around was so worth it.”

 

Everyone looks at their menus for a moment before Ali realizes that she hasn’t introduced Ashlyn to her parents. She was so excited to see her that it completely slipped her mind. “Oh, sorry, Mom and Dad, this is Ashlyn.”

 

“We know,” Deb laughs. “And it’s nice to finally meet you,” she says, looking Ashlyn’s way.

 

“I really can’t believe you two have been working behind my back.”

 

“All for a good cause, my dear,” Deb says.

 

Ali’s parents stay relatively quiet as Ali excitedly chats with Ashlyn about what an amazing surprise this was but once their food arrives, they take the opportunity to get to know Ashlyn. Ashlyn has been communicating with Deb about this surprise for a few weeks now she she’s not as nervous as she expected she would be when she finally met Ali’s parents. The food is as good as Ali has always made it out to be but in Ashlyn’s opinion, they could eat at McDonald’s and she’d be happy just to be with Ali.

 

Ali’s parents pay for the bill and they all walk outside together where they stand on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant.

 

“Do you have your car here?” Ali asks. “Can I show you around a little?”

 

“We can do whatever you want, birthday girl.”

 

“Dad and I are gonna head back home,” Ded says. “You girls have fun but try not to be home too late so we can have your cupcakes.”

 

Ali nods her understanding. Now that she’s an adult and lives away from home most of the time, she doesn’t really have a curfew but she does run things by her parents when she’s at home. She knows they normally wouldn’t care if she was out late but they do still have to finish celebrating her birthday so she promises not to be too long.

 

While Ali’s parents set off towards the parking garage, Ali and Ashlyn head the other way, hand in hand as they walk down the sidewalk.

 

“So where are we going?” Ashlyn asks as Ali leads the way.

 

“The White House,” Ali says. “I know we hate this asshole but it’s still a cool thing to see and it’s only a couple of blocks from here.”

 

“Can I give him a wedgie?”

 

“I wish,” Ali laughs. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

 

“Good surprise, huh?”

 

They pause at the crosswalk and wait for the cross traffic to stop. In the meantime, Ali turns to Ashlyn, looping her arms around her neck and pulling her in for a kiss. “Best birthday ever.”

 

“Not over yet, baby. I still haven’t given you my present.”

 

“I thought you being here was my present,” Ali says, grinning as they start walking again.

 

“Oh, so I can return your actual present and get my money back?” Ashlyn teases.

 

“You better not.”

 

They soon arrive at the fence surrounding the White House. It’s a beautiful summer evening so there are hundreds of tourists milling about and taking photos in front of the house. Some of the tourists seem more happy than others about its current occupant so Ali and Ashlyn drift towards a group of younger people taking photos of themselves giving the house the middle finger.

 

Ali never lets go of Ashlyn’s hand as they walk, the significance of which is not lost on Ashlyn. Just over seven months ago, after their first kiss, Ali explained that she had struggled with the idea of being out for over a year, well before they even met. Not yet eight months later, Ali doesn’t give holding hands a second thought as they walk through crowds of potentially hostile people who support the current president. They drift towards the group of people around their age, only dropping hands when Ali suggests a selfie.

 

“Say Hillary won the popular vote,” Ali says, holding her phone out in front of them. Ashlyn laughs out loud at Ali’s words, which Ali captures in the photo. “Insta worthy.”

 

“Where to now?”

 

Ali thinks for a moment, looking around as she tries to decide the best place to take Ashlyn. “The Lincoln Memorial isn’t too far from here—maybe about a mile—do you want to go there?”

 

“Sure, I’m down for anything.”

 

Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand again and they start walking at a somewhat leisurely pace as they enjoy the beautiful evening together. They chat along the way, catching each other up on things that they haven’t mentioned over the phone or text. They make it to the Washington Monument first, stopping for a moment, but Ali assures Ashlyn that the view is much better from across the reflecting pool so they continue on their journey. When they reach the other side of the reflecting pool, they look across the water at the Washington Monument.

 

“Hmm, not as beautiful as you,” Ashlyn cheeses.

 

Ali rolls her eyes and pulls Ashlyn in for a hug, holding her tight. “Hey, did I tell you how happy I am that you’re here?”

 

“Several times, yes,” Ashlyn grins. She kisses Ali gently before pulling apart so they can look at the monuments in front of them.

 

“Here, let’s get another selfie,” Ali says, They get into position with the reflecting pool and the Washington Monument behind them. Ali has already snapped one selfie when another young couple comes up to them.

 

“If you want I can take a picture for you,” the girl says. “Then you could take a picture of me and my boyfriend.”

 

“Oh, that would be great, thank you,” Ali says. She switches her phone to the other camera and passes it to the girl. She and Ashlyn pose, Ashlyn facing straight ahead and Ali on an angle with her hand on Ashlyn’s chest.

 

“Super cute,” the girl says, snapping a few photos in quick succession before passing Ali’s phone back to her. Meanwhile, her boyfriend gets his phone ready and passes it to Ashlyn. The other couple poses and Ashlyn takes a few pictures of them.

 

“Thanks, guys,” Ashlyn says, passing the phone back.

 

“Yeah, thank you,” the other girl says.

 

Ali and Ashlyn wander away, Ali with her phone out as she selects her favorite photos from the evening for instagram. She selects on her mom took of her and Ashlyn at dinner, the one of Ashlyn laughing during their selfie in front of the White House, and one the other couple just took of them.

 

_Surprise birthday visit from @ashlynharris24 can’t wait to spend the next few days showing her around DC. #bestgirlfriendever #bestbirthdayever_

 

They walk up the steps to the Lincoln Memorial together, Ashlyn marveling about how much bigger it is in person. When they’re done, they decide to Uber back to the garage Ashlyn parked her car in so they can get back to the house quicker.

 

Ali texts her parents when they’re on the way, telling them they can get the cupcakes ready. There’s a small birthday gift bag by Ali’s feet in the passenger seat, which she figures must be the present Ashlyn mentioned.

 

“Can I open it?” Ali asks, picking the bag up off of the floor.

 

“Nope, not until we get to your place,” Ashlyn says. She follows the GPS on her phone all the way back to Ali’s house, pulling up to a beautiful two story brick home. The house isn’t massive by any means but from what Ashlyn can tell, it’s the perfect size for a family of four.

 

“So this is home,” Ali says.

 

“It’s beautiful.”

 

Ali gets out of the car, taking the gift bag with her while Ashlyn gets her suitcase out of the trunk. Ashlyn wheels her suitcase up to the house, collapsing the handle to carry it up the front porch steps.

 

The inside of the house is just as warm and welcoming as the outside. There are medium tone hardwood floors, soft rugs, and comfortable looking furniture. There are family photos all over one wall in the living room but other than that, the decorations are minimal.

 

“You can put your stuff by the stairs,” Ali says. “We can take it up to my room later. I’m sure Debbers is dying for a cupcake by now.”

 

Ashlyn does as she’s been told, putting her suitcase right by the stairs as they walk through the house and into the kitchen where Ali’s parents are waiting for them. They have a tray of cupcakes set out on the kitchen island alongside another gift bag. Ali sets Ashlyn’s gift next to the one from her parents and settles onto a stool at the island as her parents light the few candles in the cupcakes.

 

Ashlyn sings happy birthday in unison with Ali’s parents, even saying Alex with them instead of Ali. She snaps photos of her smiling girlfriend the entire time, smiling herself at how cute and happy Ali looks. When they finish singing, Ali closes her eyes and blows out her candles, leaving Ashlyn to wonder what she wished for.

 

Ashlyn ends up selecting a red velvet cupcake on Ali’s recommendation and devours the whole thing in just a few bites.

 

While she waits for everyone else to finish, she unlocks her phone and opens instagram. She double taps Ali’s photo from earlier and comments with a bunch of different emojis: the two girls holding hands, the red balloon, the sparkling heart, and the party popper. When she’s done, she starts a new post with a photo she just took when they sang to Ali. In the photo, Ali’s smile is as wide as Ashlyn has ever seen and she’s looking right at Ashlyn behind the camera, her eyes sparkling.

 

_Happy birthday to this beautiful princess. My life is so much better with you in it. Love you more @alikrieger_

 

When everyone is done with their cupcakes, Ali turns her attention to the presents in front of her. She starts with the one from her parents, digging through the tissue to find the new purse she asked for and a matching wallet, which she opens to find $50 inside.

 

“Bad luck to give someone a wallet without money,” Deb explains. “I’m sure you can use that money to take Ash out to dinner tomorrow night.”

 

“I love the way you think,” Ashlyn says.

 

Ali thanks her parents and puts the wallet inside of the purse before turning to grab the gift from Ashlyn. This gift bag is much smaller than the one from her parents so it comes as no surprise when she reaches in and grabs a small box. She pops the box open, finding the gold stack rings with black stones Ashlyn purchased (with a little help from Deb for Ali’s ring size).

 

“Ohhh, these are beautiful,” Ali coos. She takes the rings out of the box, slipping both of them onto her middle finger. “They’ll match everything.”

 

“That was the plan,” Ashlyn grins.

 

“I love it,” Ali replies. She kisses Ashlyn quickly as a thank you, smiling as they pull apart.

 

“I think we’re gonna go to bed,” Deb says. She walks around the kitchen island, kissing Ali on the top of the head. “Night, baby, and happy birthday.”

 

“Thanks, Mom.”

 

Deb turns to Ashlyn, pulling her in for a hug while Ken hugs Ali and wishes her happy birthday again. “Night, Ashlyn, so nice to finally meet you,” Deb says.

 

“Nice to meet you too. Thanks for all your help.”

 

Ali’s parents disappear upstairs, leaving Ali and Ashlyn alone in the kitchen. Ali stands, melting into Ashlyn’s embrace.

 

“Happy birthday, baby. Was it a good one?”

 

“The best,” Ali grins. “Do I get birthday sex now?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs, not even a little surprised by how forward Ali is now. “I guess that depends on how quiet you can be.”

 

Ali smirks as she takes Ashlyn’s hand, leading her to the staircase. Ashlyn grabs her suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and carries it up to Ali’s room, setting it just inside the door, which she closes and locks behind them.

 

The room, like the rest of the house, is pretty minimalist and perfectly Ali’s style. There are a few super girly elements here and there and a few old stuffed animals in one corner which Ashlyn finds adorable.

 

“What do you think?” Ali asks as she lowers herself onto her bed, watching Ashlyn look around the room.

 

“It’s very you,” Ashlyn says. “I like it.” She joins Ali on the bed, their legs dangling over the side as they kiss each other deeply. Ashlyn cradles the back of Ali’s head with her hand, her fingers tangling in Ali’s hair as they kiss.

 

Soon enough, their clothes end up in a pile on the floor and Ashlyn kisses Ali as Ali scoots back, lowering herself down onto her pillow. They make out in that position for quite some time, Ashlyn’s body pressed on top of Ali’s before she finally starts making her way down to Ali’s chest. She takes one of Ali’s nipples into her mouth and rolls the other one between her fingers, drawing quiet, almost imperceptible moans from Ali.

 

At the sound, Ashlyn pulls away from Ali and rolls over to reach her phone on Ali’s nightstand, where she selects a playlist. It’s not their sex playlist but it’ll work so she sets her phone back down and goes back to what she was doing. She takes Ali’s other nipple into her mouth this time, running her tongue over it a few times before continuing down Ali’s body, kissing both of her thighs before settling between her legs.

 

“So beautiful,” Ashlyn says.

 

Ali is a little loud at first, prompting Ashlyn to pause and shush her. “Sorry,” Ali whispers, making the motion of zipping her lips.

 

Ashlyn doesn’t tease Ali too much, knowing that the longer she teases, the more chance there is for Ali to be too loud and alert her parents to what they’re doing. She changes up her pace every so often, though, enjoying the way Ali tries to grind against her tongue.

 

“Please,” Ali whispers. “It’s my birthday.”

 

Ashlyn stifles a laugh at Ali’s reasoning. She can’t really argue with it so she increases her pace, flicking her tongue over Ali’s clit over and over again. The closer Ali gets to the edge, the louder her whimpers become and instead of trying to quiet her down again, Ashlyn simply reaches up and covers Ali’s hand with her mouth as she continues eating her out.

 

Ali moans against Ashlyn’s hand, the simple act of Ashlyn covering her mouth pushing her closer to the edge. When she comes, she moans Ashlyn’s name, her voice muffled by Ashlyn’s hand.

 

Ashlyn gently cleans her through her orgasm and when she finally stills, Ashlyn comes back up to the head of the bed, kissing Ali deeply and allowing her to taste herself. Ali moans into the kiss, her hands moving to cup Ashlyn’s breasts. The continue to make out while Ali trails her fingers down Ashlyn’s body, parting her thighs.

 

Ali strokes her girlfriend with her fingers for a few minutes before slipping them inside of her, stifling Ashlyn’s moan with their kiss. Ali works her fingers expertly, bringing Ashlyn to a quick orgasm after so long spent apart.

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says, her eyes closed as she comes down from her high.

 

“Love you more.”

 

~

 

In the morning, Ali wakes tangled in her girlfriend’s embrace for the first time in a month. They put clothes back on before falling asleep the previous night just in case Deb decided to enter the room without knocking (the chances were slim but you can never be too careful) but Ashlyn’s racerback tank leaves her shoulder exposed which Ali kisses. Ashlyn was already starting to wake up so when she feels Ali kiss her shoulder, she rolls over to face her.

 

“Morning, beautiful,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Morning, gorgeous,” Ali replies, grinning. “Want to go downtown again today? There’s so much stuff we can do.”

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

“I think we should start at the Smithsonian gardens before it gets too hot out and then check out some museums. You’ll probably like air and space, natural history, and the American history one. They’re all in the same area so we won’t have to spend too much time out in the heat. Then I’m gonna take you out to dinner.”

 

“Sounds like the perfect day.”

 

They get as early of a start as possible to have time to enjoy the gardens before it gets too hot. They wander the gardens for just over an hour, each sneaking candid photos of the other as they walk and smell the flowers.

 

After the gardens, they explore the air and space museum before getting tacos for lunch from a food truck, which Ashlyn thoroughly enjoys.   

 

They spend the entire day exploring different museums before settling on a place for dinner. It’s nowhere near as nice as their dinner the previous night but the burgers are incredible and Ashlyn gets the feeling that it’s a staple for people from the area.

 

Like their other visits, the days pass by too quickly but at least when they say goodbye on Tuesday evening, they know it’ll only be about two weeks before Ali moves back down to Chapel Hill.  

 

“See you in a couple of weeks,” Ashlyn says, kissing Ali one more time as they stand in her driveway.

 

“I’m already counting down the days,” Ali grins

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> favorite part of the visit? predictions about what the drama will be?


	21. Chapter 21

 

“You think sophomore year is ready for us?” Ali asks as she and Ashlyn unload her car at the sorority house. Ali arrived in Chapel Hill earlier in the day and met Ashlyn for lunch before they drove over to the sorority house to officially move into her new room.

 

“Nope, not a chance,” Ashlyn says.

 

Ali is on the second floor and when they’re done getting everything from her car, they move her other belongings down from from Heather’s room on the third floor, where they’ve been stored all summer. Ali is reusing almost everything from last year except for her comforter and bed sheets because she and Christen decided to get matching sets so their room would look more cohesive (which Ashlyn resisted the urge to make fun of them for).

 

“How’s it look, roomie?” Ali asks Christen once they’ve set everything up the way they like. Both of their beds have a duvet cover and pillow cases that are mostly white with grey and black flowers and solid black sheets. They both also have a wooden block initial above their beds, the natural wood colors contrasting the streamlined bedding.

 

“I love it,” Christen grins. “I’m so glad we have such similar taste.”

 

“God, did you see some of the stuff people moved in here? No judgement but I wouldn’t be able to handle if you wanted do your side of the room in neon polka dots or something.”

 

“Match made in roomie heaven,” Christen says.

 

~

 

Living more than three feet from one another is an adjustment. While they used to be able to visit each other whenever they wanted, now they have to plan things a little more. Last year, if Ali wanted to cuddle with Ashlyn, she could simply walk through the bathroom and climb into bed with her but this year, she has to text or call in advance to make sure the door will be open for her.

 

They rectify this just a week into the semester when Ashlyn makes Ali a key to the house. She runs the idea by her housemates first, of course, and none of them care if Ali has a key. Though they miss the convenience of living right next to each other, they both agree the trade offs (namely the full sized non-lofted bed) are worth it.

 

While Ashlyn loves living with her teammates, her closest friends on the team no less, Ali quickly finds just how difficult it is to live with 40 girls. The bathrooms feature both toilet and shower stalls and it doesn’t take long at all for the novelty of living with her sorority sisters to wear off and for Ali to become frustrated that she has to wear flip flops in her own bathroom, like she’s at a never ending summer camp. Within just a few weeks, she gets to the point that she showers at Ashlyn’s (where Ashlyn shares a bathroom with just Whitney while Kelley, Alex, and Tobin share the other one) whenever possible.

 

~

 

The soccer team gets off to a fast start, winning their first five games. By the time they prepare for their sixth game of the year, they’re on an eleven game win streak, dating back to the first round of the NCAA tournament the year before. The streak is somewhat broken with a tie the following week but they’re still unbeaten in their last twelve games which the team still regards as an accomplishment.

 

Ashlyn starts the seventh game, a mid season test against Florida State at home on a Thursday night. Ali attends the game, of course, as does Christen. The two of them sit in the student section clad in Carolina blue and watch what is sure to be a good conference match. It’s Ashlyn’s fourth start of the year and although she got a lot of time in net last year, including the championship game, she’s been getting even more this year now that a fellow starting calibre goalkeeper graduated at the end of last season.

 

The game is evenly matched throughout, a potential matchup in the ACC tournament final this year. Florida State goes up a goal just before halftime and Carolina heads to their locker room with a rare deficit at home.

 

Both teams are fired up at the end of halftime, Florida State to keep their lead, and Carolina to erase it. Not even ten minutes into the half, Ashlyn takes a back pass from one of her defenders with her feet when a Florida State forward comes crashing into her, swiping her legs out from under her.

 

Ali watches the whole thing as if it’s happening in slow motion.

 

By the time Ashlyn has the ball at her feet, the forward can’t stop her momentum and she crashes into Ashlyn at full force. Ashlyn’s planted leg twists an awkward way and she crumbles on top of the other girl on the ground.

 

“I can’t watch,” Ali says, though she does nothing to look away. She watches helplessly as Ashlyn clutches her knee, writhing in pain. The athletic trainers are out on the field almost immediately, running to Ashlyn’s side as the opposing player gets up and pats Ashlyn on the shoulder before jogging to join her team on the sidelines. The trainers check Ashlyn out for a few minutes, bending her knee for her before making her try herself.

 

“At least she can move it,” Christen says, wrapping an arm around her friend’s shoulder.

 

“Come on, Ash,” Ali says, holding her hands together against her chin like she’s praying. “Come on, baby.”

 

Ashlyn is unsteady on her feet as she stands, which only adds to Ali’s worries. She can walk, at least, but she’s a little unstable walking on her own power so the athletic trainers wrap their arms around her side and help her off the field and right into the tunnel. The crowd gives a weak applause in support of the injured keeper but Ali doesn’t join in, she’s too worried about her girlfriend.

 

When Ashlyn and the trainers are out of sight, Ali pulls out her phone to text Ashlyn.

 

_I love you so much, baby. It’ll be okay._

_Text me when you can._

 

Ali and Christen stay at the game but neither really watches after Ashlyn’s injury, they’re both too wrapped up in their thoughts. Fifteen minutes after Ali texted her, Ashlyn texts back.

 

_They can’t say for sure until I get checked out on monday but they think it’s a torn acl. I’m in the locker room now. They have everything wrapped so I can walk but I do have crutches because it’s pretty unstable :/  I’m gonna finish watching the game from the bench but will you hang around after and drive me home? I rode here with the girls but I just want to be with you right now_

 

The last line line of Ashlyn’s text breaks Ali’s heart almost as much as the first line. She tries to slyly wipe away the tears that form in her eyes but Christen catches her and hugs her again. When Ali shows her Ashlyn’s text, Christen sighs and hugs Ali even tighter.

 

“She’s tough. She’ll be okay.”

 

Ali keeps her eyes trained on the team tunnel for any sign of Ashlyn. Finally, with just ten minutes left in the game, she emerges. She’s only using one crutch, leaning on it to support her left side, but an athletic trainer follows carrying the other crutch in case she needs both. When Ashlyn finally makes it to the team bench, she stays standing for a moment, scanning the student section until she spots Ali.

 

“I love you,” Ali mouths, blowing Ashlyn a kiss. She can see how sad Ashlyn looks and she knows that she’s been crying but the blown kiss makes the corners of her mouth tug into a small smile which makes Ali feel a little better.

 

Ali watches as Ashlyn takes a seat on the bench, her teammates taking turns hugging her before turning their attention back to the game in front of them. When the game ends and the rest of the team shakes hands with the other team (Ali has been so focused on Ashlyn that she doesn’t even know who won) while Ashlyn stays seated on the bench with her leg propped up on a water cooler. Some of the opposing players make their way over to chat with Ashlyn but Ali can tell from her girlfriend’s body language that she’s not interested in any of it.

 

After the team huddle, Ashlyn waves Ali down to the field.

 

“I probably won’t be home tonight, Chris,” Ali says.

 

“I figured. Tell her I hope she gets better soon.”

 

Ali goes down the stands towards the field. When she reaches the railing, she climbs over it, prompting curious looks from those around her. She doesn’t care, though, she can only think of getting to Ashlyn’s side. Ashlyn is leaning on her crutch, deep in discussion with her head coach as Ali approaches.

 

Ali doesn’t want to interrupt the conversation so she hangs back for a moment until Ashlyn’s coach gestures to her.

 

“We’ll get you checked out on Monday. I think someone is here for you,” he says, pointing to Ali.

 

Ashlyn turns around and when she spots Ali, she can feel the tears well in her eyes once again. She managed to stop crying before coming out of the tunnel to finish watching the game but seeing Ali sets her off again and she has to work to control her emotions.

 

“Hi, baby,” Ali says gently, as if louder tones could break Ashlyn even more.

 

“Can you, um, get my stuff?” Ashlyn asks, pointing to the bench where a trainer brought out her backpack and duffle bag from the locker room. “I’ll get my other crutch.”

 

Ali nods and pulls Ashlyn’s backpack over her shoulders, taking the duffle bag into her hand. Ashlyn can’t move very fast so they slowly make their way to the car, neither really knowing what to say. When they get to the car, Ali puts Ashlyn’s bags into the back and helps her into the passenger seat before carefully putting her crutches across the backseat. She rounds the car to the driver’s side, taking a deep breath before getting in the car.

 

“This isn’t fair,” Ashlyn says, tears streaming down her face as she looks at Ali.

 

“It’ll be okay,” Ali says. She pulls Ashlyn into her arms, both of them leaning awkwardly over the center console but neither cares about the awkward position at the moment. Safe in her girlfriend’s arms, Ashlyn finally allows herself to fully break down, sobbing against Ali’s chest. “Oh, honey,” Ali says.

 

Ali runs her hand through Ashlyn’s hair over and over, clutching her to her chest. She lets Ashlyn cry as long as she needs to and when she checks the time on her radio, nearly half an hour has passed before Ashlyn pulls away, wiping tears from her eyes. Ashlyn drops her head into her hands and Ali gently rubs her back.

 

After another few minutes, Ashlyn finally lifts her head and meets Ali’s eyes.

 

“I am so, so sorry,” Ali says. “Whatever you need, I’ll be right there. You know that, right?”

 

“Will you take me home? I’m tired.”

 

Ali is a little disappointed that Ashlyn won’t talk about it right now but she does her best not to show it on her face. She knows Ashlyn will talk when she’s ready so she nods and starts her car. It’s only been a month but the drive from the field to Ashlyn’s house is already so familiar that Ali doesn’t even have to think about it. She does, however, take a bit of a detour to go to the nearest drug store.

 

“What do you have to get?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“I think you can use some ice cream right about now so I’m gonna get some Ben and Jerry’s. Do you need anything else?”

 

“An ACL that’s in one piece,” Ashlyn says, not a hint of humor in her voice.

 

“I’m sorry, baby, I’d give you mine if I could.”

 

“I know,” Ashlyn says. “Can you get shampoo? I’m almost out. I think that’s it.”

 

“Of course, I’ll be right back.”

 

Ali moves quickly through the small store, picking up shampoo she knows Ashlyn likes and two different pints of Ben and Jerry’s. On a whim at the register, she picks up a fidget spinner from the small box of ones leftover from the craze last year, figuring Ashlyn will have a lot of time to fidget if her season is over the way it appears to be.

 

She hands the bags to Ashlyn in the car and navigates the short distance to the house Ashlyn shares with some of her teammates.

 

Everyone is awaiting their arrival in the living room, taking their turns hugging her while Ali goes into the kitchen and gets two spoons for their ice cream. Ashlyn doesn’t feel like chatting long, which her housemates understand, so when Ashlyn says she wants to go to bed, they simply say their goodnights with their injured teammate.

 

It takes Ashlyn a while to get up the stairs on her crutches. Ali follows close behind, wishing there was something she could do to help. When they make it to Ashlyn’s bedroom, Ashlyn gets into bed and drops her crutches to the floor. Ali settles next to her, pulling the pints of ice cream from the plastic bag.

 

“Tonight Dough or coffee?” Ali asks.

 

“Tonight Dough,” Ashlyn says. She takes the pint from Ali, both of them ripping the plastic wrap off the top of their pints. “Sorry I cried all over your shirt.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Ali says. “I stole this shirt from you, anyway. How are you feeling?”

 

“Uh, my knee doesn’t feel too bad but it definitely doesn’t feel normal.”

 

“How about emotionally?” Ali asks.

 

“Not great. This is always, like, your worst fear when you play at this level. Are you gonna take care of me?”

 

Ali nods, her spoonful of ice cream hanging from her mouth. She licks the spoon clean and sticks it back into the ice cream. “You know I’ll take care of you. I’ll do whatever you need, whenever you need it.”

 

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

 

~

 

Purgatory.

 

The next few days are purgatory.

 

While the trainers were fairly sure in their assessment that Ashlyn’s ACL is torn, they couldn’t say for sure until her doctor’s appointment on Monday morning. Without this confirmation, they can’t come up with any sort of treatment plan so Ashlyn spends the weekend bumming around the house while her teammates prepare for an away game on Sunday. When they leave on Saturday evening, the house feels eerily quiet, even with Ali around. They make great use of the alone time, of course, but Ashlyn can’t shake the feeling that she should be with her team right now.

 

A small part of her has hope that maybe the trainers were wrong. Maybe it’s just a sprain, something she can come back from by the end of the season. Something minor that will allow her to help her team defend their national championship.

 

Ali skips class to take her to her appointment on Monday. Ashlyn tells her not to and that one of her teammates could probably take her but Ali doesn’t listen. She drives Ashlyn to her appointment, holding her hand the entire way.

 

Ali stays in the waiting room while Ashlyn goes back for the examination. She scrolls through her phone for over half an hour before Ashlyn finally emerges from the hallway leading to the examination rooms.

 

Ali can read her face instantly.

 

She jumps up from her seat, stuffing her phone into her purse as she makes her way to Ashlyn, who is just barely holding it together.

 

“I have surgery on Friday,” Ashlyn says. Her voice cracks with emotion and it takes everything in Ali not to cry as well.  

 

“I’ll drive you to and from,” Ali says. “Anything else you need today?”

 

“Home,” Ashlyn says.

 

Once they’re back at the house and in her bedroom, Ashlyn calls her grandma and her mom, telling them the news. She told them about the injury the first night it happened and promised to update them after her appointment. Now that they know it’s torn and she has to have surgery, both women insist that they’ll fly up, though Ashlyn tries to convince them they don’t have to come. When she finally hangs up with her mom, she sighs and curls up in bed.

 

“I hate that they’re gonna have to spend all that money to come up here.”

 

“I get that but I’m sure they’d hate it even more if they stayed home and weren’t here for you. Do you want them here?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

“Then let them come. They know if they can swing it financially or not and they want to be here for you.”

 

“I know but I feel bad because it’s a lot of money,” Ashlyn says. “And I know they’ll insist that they don’t take my bed from me so they’ll have to get a hotel too.”

 

“Do you think they’d want to stay in the guest room at the sorority house? There’s a queen bed in there and they could stay for free. I could text Heather and make sure no one will be using it this weekend.”

 

“You could do that? No one will be mad because I’m not in the sorority?”

 

Ali shrugs. “I don’t think so. As long as no one else needs it, I don’t really see a problem.”

 

Heather confirms that no one is staying in the guest room that weekend so Ashlyn passes the information along to her mom and grandma, feeling a little better about the situation. She really does want them there but she never wants to be a burden on people. She got her stubbornness from them, though, so she knows that it’s not a battle she’s going to win.

 

“Thank you for helping me through this,” Ashlyn says, curling up against Ali’s chest. Her emotions finally catch up to her as she thinks about the surgery, this season and potentially career ending injury. She knows that a lot of people come back to full strength after injuries like this one but that’s not a guarantee that she’ll be able to come back and that thought scares her to death.

 

She doesn’t know who she is without soccer.

 

Without this sport, she certainly never would’ve ended up at Carolina and she never would’ve met Ali. This school, this soccer program was a lofty goal in and of itself but Ashlyn has her sights set much higher. She wants to play professionally, to carve out a place on the national team and now all of that is in jeopardy.

 

“It’ll be okay,” Ali says, holding Ashlyn tight. “You’ll be okay.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? predictions?


	22. Chapter 22

  
  


Ali hardly leaves Ashlyn’s side all week. They both still go to their respective classes but other than that, Ali spends most of her time with Ashlyn. On Thursday evening when Ali gets out of class, she picks Ashlyn up from her house and they drive to the airport together to pick up Ashlyn’s mom and grandma. 

 

“I wish you weren’t meeting them at the expense of my knee but they’re gonna love you,” Ashlyn says. “My grandma asks about you all the time. She says we need to post on Facebook more often so she can see what we’re doing.”

 

“My mom says the same thing all the time.”

 

They pull up to the arrivals terminal and Ashlyn scans the groups of people through the window in search of her family. Finally, she spots them about halfway down the line. “That’s them,” she says, pointing their direction. “Under the Delta sign.” 

 

Ali pulls up to the curb and puts the car in park to greet the two older women and help them load their suitcases into the trunk. Ashlyn gets out too, though she stays close to the car so she doesn’t walk too far without her crutches which are across the floor in the back. 

 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Ashlyn’s grandma says, hugging her tightly. 

 

“Hi, gram. I missed you.” 

 

“We missed you too.” 

 

Ashlyn’s mom takes her turn next, wrapping her arms around her daughter. She’s a little more gentle than Ashlyn’s grandma but Ashlyn can feel the warmth of the hug just the same, as if they brought the Florida heat with them. When Tammye pulls away, Ashlyn smiles as Ali waits patiently nearby. “Mom, gram, this is Ali.” 

 

“I’ve heard great things,” Tammye says, pulling Ali in for a hug as well.

 

Ali helps Tammye put their carry on suitcases into the trunk while Ashlyn gets into a somewhat heated debate about which one should sit in the front seat. Ashlyn insists her grandma take the passenger seat while her grandma says that Ashlyn should sit up front with Ali, especially because she’ll have more room to stretch her leg up there. Ashlyn eventually caves, knowing that the front seat will be much more comfortable for her knee, allowing her mom and grandma to sit in the back seat. 

 

“So Ash said that you’ve been taking good care of her,” Tammye says. “She said you took her to her appointment on Monday.” 

 

“She’s been great,” Ashlyn grins, holding Ali’s hand in her lap as Ali drives. “I’m not sure what I would do without her.” 

 

“Well, I know you would do the same for me. It’s my duty as your girlfriend.” 

 

“Oh, and thank you so much for letting us stay at your sorority house, Ali. It’s probably less work for you too since you won’t have to pick us up from a hotel tomorrow morning.” 

 

“No problem at all,” Ali says. “The guest room is the nicest in the house so I’m sure you’ll be comfortable. The other girls can get a little loud sometimes but there’s a TV in the guest room so you should be able to drown everyone out if you need.” 

 

“I’m sure we’ll be fine.” 

 

They catch Ashlyn’s mom and grandma up on school and other happenings while the two older women share all the gossip from back home that Ashlyn has missed. Though her injury and upcoming surgery still weigh heavy on Ashlyn’s mind, she feels a little lighter with her family here and she’s glad that she didn’t manage to convince them to stay home. She needs them and their support just as she needs Ali and her support. 

 

They stop and have a late dinner at one of their favorite local places near campus, making the best of the visit by enjoying each other’s company before Ashlyn’s surgery tomorrow morning and their flight home the following afternoon.

 

When they finish dinner, Ali drives around campus so they can show them around a little before navigating to the sorority house. 

 

“You staying here too, Ash?” Tammye asks as they get out of the car. 

 

“Yeah, I figured it would be easier. I’m gonna stay with Ali in her room.” 

 

When she and Ali first discussed the logistics of this visit, they agreed that Ali probably shouldn’t drop Ashlyn’s family off at the sorority house and then go stay at Ashlyn’s place. But Ashlyn is a little nervous about the surgery and wants to cuddle with Ali tonight so this was the only way to go about it, even though they’ll have to sleep in Ali’s twin bed.

 

The guest room is on the first floor of the house so both Ali and Ashlyn walk the older women to the room and show them the bathroom right across the hall. When their guests are settled, Ali and Ashlyn head up to Ali’s room on the second floor. 

 

“No Chris tonight?” Ashlyn asks. She props her crutches against the wall next to Ali’s bed and sits down, stretching her legs out in front of her. 

 

“No, she said she wouldn’t be home but I’m not sure where she is. Maybe at a party or something, I don’t know.” Ali sits across from Ashlyn on the bed. She rests a gentle hand on Ashlyn’s wrapped knee and meets her girlfriend’s gaze. “So how do you feel?” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs, busying herself by snapping and unsnapping a button on Ali’s duvet cover. “Scared but kind of ready to get it over with. It’s strange because I can at least put weight on it but after tomorrow I won’t be able to.”

 

“Good thing you have the best girlfriend in the world to take care of you,” Ali says. 

 

“Yeah, lucky me,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

Ali leans forward and kisses Ashlyn, stroking her cheek with her thumb as they kiss. Neither is in a mood to take things further tonight so they kiss softly for a few minutes before Ali finally pulls away and cuddles next to Ashlyn.  

 

“Need me to be the big spoon tonight?” Ali asks. She knows her girlfriend needs all the emotional support she can get and Ali can think of no better way to ease her mind than to hold her while she sleeps. 

 

Ashlyn doesn’t answer, simply rolling over and allowing Ali curl up behind her. When Ali is settled, Ashlyn pulls Ali’s arm around her, holding her hand as they both drift off to sleep.

 

Neither woman sleeps very well, both worried about what the next day will bring. In the morning, Ali makes coffee for everyone (sans Ashlyn who can’t eat or drink before her surgery) and pours an extra cup in a travel mug to drink at the hospital. 

 

Ali holds Ashlyn’s hand during the short drive to the hospital, brushing her thumb back and forth over her skin while Ashlyn’s mom and grandma talk in the back seat, trying to fill the silence in any way they can. 

 

“I hate this,” Ashlyn says quietly as they wait for the doctor. She jiggles her good leg, too full of nervous energy to lie still. 

 

“I know, honey,” Tammye says. “I hate to see my baby in pain.” 

 

Ali hangs back a little as Ashlyn talks with her mom and grandma, not really knowing where she fits into the equation. She stands awkwardly by the door, debating whether or not she should give Ashlyn and her family some private time. Ashlyn looks over at her, giving her a quizzical look. 

 

“What, I don’t get a kiss first?” Ashlyn asks. “Come here.” 

 

Ali closes the gap between them, standing by Ashlyn’s bed. Ashlyn reaches to take Ali’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze. 

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says. “Thank you for being here.” 

 

Ali smiles as she uses her free hand to brush Ashlyn’s hair back from her face. “Love you more. We’ll be in the waiting room.” 

 

The next hour and a half is the slowest of Ali’s life. She knows the procedure is fairly routine, especially in a hospital that deals with so many student athletes from Carolina, but she can’t help but worry. She passes the time by chatting with Ashlyn’s mom and grandma, learning more about their family and what Ashlyn was like as a child while sharing her own stories as well. She’s imagined meeting Ashlyn’s family in so many different ways but this was certainly not one of them. Though the circumstances are less than ideal, she thinks it’s good for them to see first hand just how much she cares about Ashlyn. She’s serious about Ashlyn and their relationship and they get to see that in the way that she’s been taking care of Ashlyn since her injury. 

 

By the time the doctor comes out to tell them that the surgery is complete and Ashlyn should be waking up soon, Ali has a much better understanding of Ashlyn’s family. It hasn’t always been easy for them so they all appreciate everything they have. 

 

The surgery went well, the doctor says, and he leads them to the recovery room to see Ashlyn as she wakes up. She won’t have to spend the night in the hospital so as soon as the anesthesia wears off, they’ll release her. 

 

They all sit in chairs by Ashlyn’s bed in the recovery room, watching as she wakes slowly. Ashlyn seems a little confused to see her mom and grandma at first, as if she forgot that they made the trip from Florida. 

 

“Mom, Gram, have you met Ali?” she asks. 

 

“Of course,” Tammye says. “You two picked us up at the airport yesterday, remember? We’ve been with her in the waiting room.” 

 

Ashlyn nods, a dopey smile on her face as Ali tries to get her to drink some water from the cup on the tray. Ashlyn takes a few sips before pushing Ali’s hand away. “Isn’t she so pretty? I want to marry her.” 

 

Ali blushes a deep scarlet, looking back and forth between her girlfriend and her family. Finally, she looks at their guests. “This isn’t something we’ve discussed,” she says quietly. “We’re not, like, rushing into things like that.” 

 

Ashlyn’s face falls and Ali can see the hint of tears welling in her eyes. “So you don’t want to marry me?” If Ali weren’t so embarrassed by the situation, she’d laugh at her girlfriend. 

 

Ali touches her cheeks with her hands, trying to calm her blush. “Babe, I love you so, so much. I would love to marry you someday but it’s just not something we need to talk about right now, okay?” 

 

“But later?” 

 

“Later, sure,” Ali says, running her hand through Ashlyn’s hair.  

 

Ashlyn’s mood brightens considerably, going from near tears to a wide grin, her dimple showing in her cheek. “Did you hear that, Gram?” 

 

“I heard, honey.” 

 

“Did you hear, Mom?” 

 

“Yes, I heard,” Tammye laughs. 

 

“She wants to marry me.” 

 

Ali laughs at her girlfriend’s antics, knowing that she won’t remember any of this as soon as the medication wears off. Though it’s not something they need to figure out anytime soon, it’s nice to know that somewhere deep within Ashlyn’s consciousness, she feels this way. This is Ashlyn’s deepest self, uninhibited by anything else and in this state, she chooses to bring up marriage. 

 

The anesthesia wears off slowly, allowing Ashlyn to be released mid-afternoon. Ali drives straight to Ashlyn’s place, where she’ll also be staying tonight to care for her. When they arrive and get Ashlyn settled, Ashlyn’s grandma says that she and Tammye are going to take Ashlyn’s car to the store. She’s going to get stuff for mac and cheese, of course, but she’s also going to get stuff for some of Ashlyn’s other favorite foods that they can microwave over the next few days. 

 

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Ali says. “I mean, I’m sure she’ll love mac and cheese for dinner tonight but I can cook for her until she can be on her feet more.” 

 

“It’s no trouble at all, sweetie. I’m happy to do it. You’ll have your hands full with her, I can assure you of that.” 

 

~

 

Her grandma is right. 

 

While Ashlyn was fairly tough and as self sufficient as possible the week leading up to the surgery, the weeks that follow are rough. She wants to be babied and once her family goes home, only Ali is left to take care of her. 

 

Ali is as patient as ever. She does anything Ashlyn needs, all with a smile and a positive attitude. Now that she’s had surgery, Ashlyn can’t put any weight on her left leg and the full emotional weight of her injury finally sinks in. 

 

She misses soccer, misses being out on the field with her teammates. More than that, though, she worries that she’ll never get back to the same level. She worries that she’ll be passed by, that even if she does come back to full strength, someone else will have taken her spot. If she never gets back to playing for her college team, there’s no way she can turn professional in just a few years. 

 

Ali is far too optimistic about the whole thing. It’s not bad, at first, but after a week, her relentless optimism starts to bother Ashlyn. Ali has just told her that everything will be okay for what must be the hundredth time since the injury two weeks ago when Ashlyn can’t take anymore. 

 

“Stop doing that,” Ashlyn says, a little harsher than she intended. 

 

“Doing what?” Ali asks, thoroughly confused by this sudden outburst. She’s in the middle of looking for Ashlyn’s phone charger, as Ashlyn asked her to do, so Ashlyn’s reaction is a little surprising. 

 

“Coddling me.” 

 

“I’m doing what you asked me to do.” 

 

“No, not that,” Ashlyn says. “Stop acting like everything is great and I’m gonna be back out there in no time—it’s a little annoying.” 

 

“It’s annoying that I believe in you and remind you of that?” Ali questions, becoming annoyed herself. She’s done everything Ashlyn has asked of her and now she’s being called annoying and it doesn’t sit right with her. 

 

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” Ashlyn snaps. “It’s just annoying that you’re so, I don’t know, peppy about this whole thing. I’m not one of your sorority sisters you don’t have to act like everything is fucking perfect all the time.” 

 

“I’m just trying to help.”

 

“Well I feel smothered, okay? It’s a lot.” 

 

“Smothered? I’ve done everything you asked me to do the last few weeks and now you’re mad at me for it? You’re mad at me for trying to encourage you because you seemed a little down?”

 

“Can’t I just be annoyed? In case you haven’t noticed, it’s kind of a shitty situation.”  

 

“Sure, you can be annoyed at the situation or whatever else you might be annoyed about but you can't be annoyed at me. This entire week since your surgery has been all ‘Ali make me food, plug my phone in, can you go to the store for me?’ and I’ve done  _ everything.  _ And now I’m annoying you?”

 

Ashlyn knows how she should respond. She should say no, of course not, I’m just crabby and then proceed to thank Ali for all her help. She really does appreciate Ali and all of her help over the last few weeks and, if she’s honest, some of the things she’s asked Ali to do for her she was fully capable of doing herself but it felt nice to have someone take care of her. She’s not sure why she snapped exactly but she did and there’s no turning back now. “Yes,” she says. “And, wow, sorry I’ve been such a burden on you.” 

 

“That wasn’t my point,” Ali snaps. “You’re the one complaining about me.” 

 

They’re both quiet for a moment, their anger and frustration quietly simmering below the surface. Finally, Ali is the one to break the silence. “Do you need anything else tonight? I’m gonna go home. Or, maybe I shouldn’t ask you that because apparently me taking care of you is annoying.” 

 

Ali gathers her phone and purse and storms out without another word. She goes back to the sorority house, finding Christen doing homework in their room. 

 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Christen teases. When she sees the annoyance on Ali’s face, she cringes a little. “Fight with Ash?” 

 

“Yep,” Ali says, flinging herself onto her bed. “I was getting her phone charger as she asked me to do and she seemed a little down about the whole thing again so I told her it was going to be okay and she said I was annoying and coddling her.” 

 

“Oh boy.” 

 

“I’ve done everything she’s asked me to do and apparently that makes me annoying.” 

 

“She’s probably just frustrated with everything, you know? I’m sure it’s not easy for her.” 

 

“I know it isn’t easy which is why I’ve been trying to help. And I told her that she can be frustrated with the situation or anything else but she can’t be frustrated with me because I’ve been doing my best to help her and it seemed like it wasn’t enough. Which, of course, she took as me saying she’s a burden.” 

 

“So I’m guessing you came home to give yourselves some time to cool off?” 

 

“Exactly,” Ali says. “Night, Chris.” 

 

~

 

Ali goes through her normal morning routine before finally texting Ashlyn. She asks if she should come over or if Ashlyn still needs a little time, to which Ashlyn replies that she wants her to come over. 

 

Ashlyn is on the couch in the living room with her leg propped on pillows, a bag of ice resting on her knee when Ali arrives. The house is so quiet that Ali knows the rest of her housemates must have left for their away game already, which somehow makes her feel better and worse about the situation. Better because they'll have time and privacy for this discussion and worse because Ashlyn should be with her team right now, not on the couch icing her surgically repaired knee. 

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn says quietly, putting her phone down on her lap as Ali enters and takes her shoes off. 

 

Ali sits on the coffee table across from Ashlyn so Ashlyn doesn’t have to move her legs to give her room on the couch. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Ashlyn says. “I was a brat and I shouldn’t have treated you like that.” 

 

“No, you shouldn’t have.” 

 

“I, um, I didn’t want to admit this last night but the reason I got so frustrated that you kept telling me it’s gonna be okay is because I’m really fucking scared about all of this.” 

 

“I know, baby.” 

 

“No, let me explain, please,” Ashlyn says. “I need to get this out. I’m fucking terrified that I’ll never get back to the same level or that even if I do get back, I’ll be passed by. I want my team to do well but it worries me because if they still win without me, they might think they don’t need me when I’m back. I want to play professionally, you know that, but if I never get back to playing in college there’s no way professional coaches will want me in a few years. It’s really, really scary to think that the future that I want for myself might have been taken away because of a single injury. And then on top of all of that, I feel kind of useless. I can’t do anything for myself let alone take care of you. It all just kind of built up and I can’t take out my frustrations on the sport, obviously, so I took them out on you and I’m really sorry.”

 

Ali is quiet as she processes everything Ashlyn has told her. She takes Ashlyn’s hand, meeting her gaze. “First of all, you are not useless. This is how relationships work, you know? Right now, you need me to take care of you but there will be times in our relationship when I need you to take care of me. I understand you’re scared, baby, that’s why I tried to remind you that everything will be okay.” 

 

“I know and I appreciate that more than I can say but sometimes it’s a little overwhelming. It’s okay for me to be sad about it sometimes, you know?. As much as we want everything to work out, it might not and I have to be prepared for that. I love your optimism and I need it but I don’t need it all the time, if that makes sense.” 

 

“So what do you need from me? This is all new to me too.” 

 

“Let me vent sometimes. I love your belief in me and I’ll still need those reminders but if it seems like I really need to vent, just let me do it. Let me say that this fucking sucks without telling me that everything is going to be fine.”

 

“Okay,” Ali says. “But, for the record, I’m not just saying that to try to make you feel better. I really do believe in you, baby. I believe in you and I know your family believes in you too. Your grandma and I texted about you a lot the other day. Did I tell you that?” 

 

Ashlyn shakes her head no. “What did she say?” 

 

“Well she asked how you’ve been doing since they left and I told her that it’s been a little hard but not to worry about you because you’re tough. And then she said she worries about you less now that she’s met me and knows that I’m taking good care of our girl.” 

 

“She really said that? She said ‘our girl’?” 

 

“Yep. She said that if they can’t take care of you being so far away, she’s glad I’m here to take care of you.” 

 

“Sounds like you made quite the impression.” 

 

“Well, you did say you want to marry me in front of her.” 

 

Ashlyn’s eyes go wide and she raises her eyebrows as she looks at Ali. “I did what?” she exclaims, eliciting a laugh from Ali. 

 

“Right after your surgery as you were waking up you asked them if they’d met me yet and then you said ‘isn’t she she so pretty? I want to marry her’. Then I told them that it’s not something we’ve discussed so they wouldn’t think we’re like rushing into that after nine months at nineteen years old, you know? And you almost started crying and were like ‘so you don’t want to marry me?’ You were so cute.” 

 

“And what did you say to that?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“I said that I love you and I’d love to marry you one day but that we didn’t need to talk about it right now. Then you got really happy.” 

 

“God, I’m so sorry I did that in front of them.” 

 

Ali shrugs and leans forward to kiss Ashlyn softly. “It was cute. Obviously it’s not something to discuss anytime soon but it was nice knowing that those thoughts are there.” 

 

“So are we good?” Ashlyn asks. “I don’t like fighting with you and I hate even more that I hurt your feelings.” 

 

“We’re good,” Ali grins. “Now how about I make us lunch? I think I bought chicken the other day. I can make baked chicken and some fettuccine alfredo.” 

 

“Sounds perfect. I’ll be right here watching Netflix and icing my knee.” 

 

They spend the rest of the afternoon watching Netflix in the living room they’re just about to find the stream for the soccer game when Ashlyn turns to Ali, studying her girlfriend for a moment. 

 

“Yes?” Ali says, turning to face Ashlyn. 

 

“I was just thinking that another reason I was so cranky is because I miss you a lot.” 

 

“I thought I was smothering you? How could you have missed me?” 

 

“Not like that,” Ashlyn says, blushing a little. “I miss really being with you.” 

 

“Ash, you can say you miss having sex with me,” Ali laughs. “I miss it too, baby. But I don’t want to hurt you.” 

 

“You won’t hurt me.” 

 

Ali nods and helps Ashlyn put her brace back on. Ashlyn uses her crutches to get up the stairs, depositing them next to her bed. She sits on the bed and strips herself of her loose athletic shorts and boxers before removing her t-shirt. Ali removes her clothes as well, leaving a pile next to her side of the bed. 

 

Ali moves to take Ashlyn’s brace off, getting a curious look from her girlfriend. “Trust me,” Ali says. When Ashlyn’s leg is free of the brace, Ali carefully sets it on the floor and positions herself. She lies next to Ashlyn, pressing a gentle kiss to the scar on her left knee. “I believe in you so much, baby. I know this sucks right now but no matter what happens, I’m gonna be right here to love and support you. And as long as you’ll let me, I’ll take care of you.”

 

“Come up here,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali scoots to the top of the bed, careful to not put any of her weight on Ashlyn’s left leg. They kiss passionately but when Ali reaches a hand between Ashlyn’s legs, she’s gentle and slow, drawing it out as long as possible. Ali’s soft and slow pace is reflected in Ashlyn’s contented sighs rather than her usual moans and when she comes, she murmurs Ali’s name.  

 

“Not so cranky now, huh?” Ali teases as Ashlyn basks in the bliss of her orgasm. 

 

Ashlyn shakes her head, a soft smile on her lips. “And you know the best part? I don’t need my knee for you to sit on my face.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think of the argument? predictions on what will happen next? what do you think they'll do for ashlyn's birthday in the next chapter? 
> 
> I took it relatively easy on you this time but there are bumps in their journey still to come ;)


	23. Chapter 23

  
  


Two weeks after Ashlyn’s surgery, the soccer team is honored during halftime at the football game for their national championship. Ali and her friends attend the game and watch as the soccer team comes out onto the field, the entire crowd cheering for them. Ashlyn is still on her crutches and while it breaks Ali’s heart a little that she can’t jog out onto the field the way her teammates did, she’s so proud of Ashlyn and the accomplishment for which they’re being honored. 

 

Ali uses her phone to record the jumbotron as Ashlyn receives her championship ring and slides it onto her right ring finger. For the first time in weeks, Ashlyn is smiling from ear to ear and Ali captures the whole thing on her phone. Though Ashlyn can’t help them defend their title, she gets to celebrate last year’s win one more time and Ali can see just how much it brightens Ashlyn’s mood. 

 

“Aww, she looks so happy,” Heather says. 

 

Ali smiles as the jumbotron switches to a wide shot of the whole team. She stops the recording on her phone and looks at Heather. “I love seeing her like this. It’s been kind of rough these last few weeks.” 

 

“I can imagine.” 

 

“I think this and what I have planned for her birthday next weekend should keep her spirits high, though.” 

 

“Oooh, what do you have planned?” Heather asks. 

 

“I booked a hotel in Carolina Beach. I paid extra for an ocean view room because I know she’ll love it. I haven’t even told her about the trip yet; I think I’m gonna surprise her the morning of her birthday.” 

 

“That sounds awesome can you take me with you?” 

 

“Nope,” Ali laughs. “Girlfriend time only.” 

 

“Hey, if nothing else, the sex should cheer her up,” Heather says. 

 

“Exactly.” 

 

~

 

Ashlyn’s birthday falls on Friday and since neither woman has Friday classes this semester, Ali plans to get an early start the morning of Ashlyn’s birthday. She packs her overnight bag on Thursday, leaving it in her trunk when she spends the night at Ashlyn’s that night. 

 

It’s been a month since Ashlyn’s injury and earlier in the week, her doctor cleared her to walk without crutches. She’s been working hard in physical therapy and there’s already a noticeable change in her stability while walking. She still can’t do much more than walk but at this point, even that is progress. 

 

The morning of Ashlyn’s birthday, Ali wakes her with gentle, loving kisses. “Morning, my beautiful birthday girl,” she says, peppering Ashlyn’s face with kisses. 

 

“Morning,” Ashlyn grins. “You can keep doing that all day.” 

 

“I could keep doing this or we could get in my car and go check into our hotel. It’s on the ocean so we have a bit of a drive.” 

 

Ashlyn rolls over to look at Ali, surprise evident on her face. “You got us a hotel?” 

 

Ali nods. She trails her hand up and down Ashlyn’s arm, enjoying these quiet moments together. “An ocean view room in Carolina Beach for tonight. We have dinner reservations at an outdoor cafe right by the water and then in the morning, we can get up early to watch the sunrise. It’s your birthday present.” 

 

“Al that’s…” Ashlyn stops, shaking her head a little as she tries to put into words how incredible this gift is. She misses being near the water up at school and recently, she hasn’t been able to clear her head. A getaway to the ocean with Ali sounds like exactly what she needs to reset. “Thank you.” 

 

“You’re welcome,” Ali grins. “Now let’s get ready and pack a bag for you, mine is in the car.” 

 

They quickly go through their morning routines of brushing their teeth and hair and while Ashlyn packs an overnight bag, Ali puts on a little makeup. 

 

“I think I’m gonna bring my crutches just in case,” Ashlyn says. “Sand is obviously a little harder to walk on so I might need them if we walk down to the water.” 

 

“Good thinking,” Ali says. “I’ll carry your bag and you can get the crutches.” 

 

They get drive-thru coffee and once they’re on their way, Ashlyn plugs her phone in and selects one of their favorite playlists. Some of the songs have meaning to them or are ones they’ve listened to during significant moments in their relationship while others they just like to listen to. 

 

She starts the playlist and as Ali pulls onto the freeway, Ashlyn studies her girlfriend and thinks about how lucky she is to love and be loved by someone like her. Ali is her best friend and loving her is the easiest thing she’s ever done. 

 

“Stop, you’re distracting me,” Ali says, glancing over at Ashlyn staring at her. 

 

“Stop what?” Ashlyn grins. 

 

“Staring.” 

 

“I can’t help that you’re so beautiful,” Ashlyn says. She takes Ali’s hand, squeezing it tight. “This is the best birthday gift I could imagine.” 

 

“Hey, we’re not there yet. Let’s make sure our room isn’t roach infested before you say something like that.” 

 

“Hey, I have you and in,” she checks their estimated time of arrival on Ali’s phone, “two and a half hours I’ll have the ocean. There’s not much more I could ask for.” 

 

“You’re cute but please add a clean hotel room to that list of must haves.” 

 

“If I must,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

They sing along to their favorite songs and Ashlyn even tries to serenade Ali once or twice before getting reprimanded for distracting the driver. They make better time than expected, arriving about thirty minutes before check-in time technically begins.

 

Ashlyn sits in the car right out front, watching as Ali goes inside to see if they can check in. When she comes back, she has two room keys in hand and a smile on her face. “Room 1341.”

 

They park near the entrance and get their bags and Ashlyn’s crutches out of the back and make their way into the hotel together. The hotel is much nicer than Ashlyn expected and she worries about the money Ali must have spent on just this one night. When they make it up to their room, complete with a king bed and a balcony overlooking the ocean, Ashlyn pauses. 

 

“Al, this is too much,” she says. 

 

Ali drops her bags, turning to kiss Ashlyn. “You’re worth every penny, love. Besides, I got a really, really good deal on groupon since it’s not really tourist season any more. I planned on something like this for months so I saved money when I worked over the summer.” 

 

“Are you sure? I’m not kidding I would happy at that Motel 6 we saw.” 

 

“I’m positive,” Ali says, kissing Ashlyn again. “Happy birthday, baby.” 

 

Ashlyn smiles and wraps her arms around Ali, touched that she planned something like this. She drags her out to the balcony, breathing in the ocean air. She stands at the railing and looks out at the water, at the largely empty shoreline. Ali stands behind her, her arms circled around her waist. Ali kisses the nape of her neck and Ashlyn turns around to face her, a full dimple grin on her face. 

 

“Thank you for this,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

Ashlyn kisses Ali deeply, both women thankful that the balcony has walls separating them from the balconies on either side of them. They don’t pull apart until they’re flushed and breathless and hungry for more. Ashlyn takes Ali’s hand and leads her to the bed in the center of the room, leaving the sliding door open behind them. 

 

~

 

By the time they make it out of their hotel room to explore, it’s late afternoon. On their way down to the beach, they spot a gift shop right next to their hotel and decide to take a look around. It’s all touristy stuff: t-shirts in a wide array of colors (with a frustrating emphasis on neon), postcards, magnets, and shot glasses. While Ashlyn doesn’t usually buy this kind of stuff, she does find a crew neck sweatshirt she likes. The sweatshirt is solid black with white text reading Carolina Beach. 

 

“I think I might get this,” she says, holding it up to show Ali. She likes the simplicity of the sweatshirt and it has the added bonus of being super soft and cozy. 

 

“Oh, I love that,” Ali says, turning around from where she was looking at mugs. “Look, they have a pink one.” She takes a matching pale pink sweatshirt with navy text off of the rack, holding it up to herself. 

 

“I’ll buy it for you. They’re two for $35.” 

 

“I should pay for your birthday,” Ali says. She tries to take Ashlyn’s shirt from her hands but Ashlyn holds firm. 

 

“Al, you’ve done enough for my birthday. You booked that awesome hotel and you’re taking me out to dinner tonight. That is more than enough.” 

 

“Fine,” Ali says, rolling her eyes as Ashlyn takes her sweatshirt and walks up to the register with it. Ali follows her up, standing next to her as the cashier rings their items. When she goes to put them in a bag, Ashlyn stops her. 

 

“I think I’ll wear mine, actually.” 

 

“Yeah, I’ll take mine too,” Ali says. Once Ashlyn’s payment goes through, both women pop the tags off of their purchases, asking the cashier to throw them away. 

 

They both pull their new sweatshirts over their heads and make their way out of the shop. Once they’re on the sand, Ashlyn uses the single crutch to help support her left leg while walking on the uneven and constantly shifting ground. She has a sand adapter at the bottom so the crutch won’t sink into the sand as she uses it.

 

“How does your knee feel?” Ali asks. 

 

“It’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “It feels better when it’s flat but obviously sand is different so I’m glad I brought this. I might bring both next time we come down here.” 

 

“You want to go get it now? I don’t want you to risk getting hurt again.” 

 

“I’ll be okay. I’m being careful.” 

 

They go all the way down to the edge of the water where they stand and watch waves crash to the shore. Ashlyn wishes they could rent boards so she could teach Ali how to surf but even if she was physically able to surf, the water is fairly calm so it would be kind of a waste. 

 

Ali pulls her selfie stick from her purse and readies it to take a photo with Ashlyn. They stand with the ocean visible in the background, their matching sweatshirts on display in the shots. 

 

At Ashlyn’s request, Ali texts her the pictures. Just about a minute later, Ali opens a notification from instagram that she’s been tagged in a post. 

 

_ Birthday getaway with this beauty. For the record, I picked my shirt out first #copycat @alikrieger _

 

“You’re the worst,” Ali laughs. “And now I can’t even post one of those photos for your birthday because you’ll say I’m copying you.” 

 

“Guess we’ll have to take more before dinner tonight.” 

 

“Speaking of, we should probably go get ready.”

 

They get all dressed up in their hotel room, Ashlyn in a navy suit and white button down and Ali in a long sleeve grey swing dress that grazes her mid thighs. Her only accessories are the heart necklace Ashlyn gave her for Valentine’s Day and the stack rings from her birthday. 

 

Ashlyn looks Ali up and down, licking her lips when her gaze lands on Ali’s legs. She drags her teeth against her bottom lip, biting down a little. 

 

“Are you gonna act like this every time I wear a short dress?” Ali teases. 

 

Ashlyn nops. “Yep.” She closes the small gap between them, taking Ali into her arms. “I can’t help that you drive me crazy, baby.” She grabs onto Ali’s ass, lifting her into her arms as Ali wraps her legs around Ashlyn’s waist. Ali in her arms, Ashlyn walks until Ali’s back is pressed against the full length mirror on the wall. Ashlyn catches a glimpse of herself as she goes in to kiss her girlfriend, fire burning in her eyes. She can’t hold Ali for long, mindful of her still healing knee so she loosens her grip until Ali is standing, her back still pressed against the mirror. 

 

Ashlyn kisses behind Ali’s ear, working a light hickey into the sensitive area. When she’s satisfied with her work, she rests her forehead against Ali’s, both of them closing their eyes. 

 

“We should leave,” Ali mutters. “But we’ll definitely continue this later.”

 

Ashlyn nods and moves away from Ali, who turns to fix her now messed up hair in the mirror. 

 

“Bring your crutches so we can walk down by the beach after,” Ali says. 

 

They’re a few minutes late for their reservation but the restaurant isn’t that busy so they have no problem getting their table, which is by the railing separating the restaurant property from the beach. There’s a candle in a mason jar on their table and clear fairy lights and white paper lanterns on the pergola above their heads. 

 

“How does it feel to not be a teenager anymore?” Ali asks as they wait for their food. 

 

“Makes me feel old.” Ashlyn laughs. “But not old at the same time because I still can’t have a drink with dinner.” 

 

Ali nods her understanding. “It’s gonna be so nice when I turn 21 and we can go out for dinner and drinks together.” 

 

“I would say I’ll drink to that but, you know,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

They continue chatting throughout dinner, the conversation flowing from one topic to another in the same easiness that defines their relationship. They order a slice of chocolate cake for dessert, which Ali asks if they can put a candle in it for Ashlyn’s birthday. When the slice of cake comes out, the staff sings a birthday song, all of them clapping. Ali watches Ashlyn blush at the attention and takes her hand across the table. 

 

“Make a wish, baby.” 

 

Ashlyn closes her eyes and blows out the single candle. When she opens her eyes, she meets Ali’s gaze again, a massive grin on her face. 

 

“What did you wish for?” 

 

“You,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“You already have me, silly.” 

 

“Then it already came true.” 

 

Ali rolls her eyes at the cheesy line but matches Ashlyn’s grin nonetheless. Ashlyn takes the candle out of the slice of cake, licking the icing off of the bottom before putting it on her napkin. Though they’re both stuffed from their dinners, they devour the piece of cake. When they’re done, Ali notices some frosting on Ashlyn’s lip and gets out of her chair, kissing it off of her. 

 

“You could’ve just told me to wipe it off,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“This was way more fun,” Ali says. She sits on Ashlyn’s lap to take a selfie together, mindful to put her weight on Ashlyn’s good leg. When she’s happy with one of the photos, she gets off of Ashlyn’s lap and goes back to her own seat while they wait for the check. 

 

_ Surprised the birthday girl with a getaway to the ocean. I think our smiles say it all. Happy birthday, @ashlynharris24,  I love you! #cheesin #notateenageranymore #oldlady _

 

Ali pays the bill and when they’re done, they go out onto the boardwalk. Ashlyn doesn’t need her crutches like she does on the sand so she carries them instead of using them. They find a bench towards the end of the boardwalk and sit down together. 

 

“Sorry I didn’t get you a present or anything,” Ali says. 

 

“Babe, this trip is so incredible I would never expect a gift on top of it. Spending time with you by the ocean is the best gift I could imagine.” She rests her head on Ali’s shoulder as Ali runs a hand through the short hairs at the nape of her neck. “We should set our alarms so we can wake up for the sunrise tomorrow.” 

 

“Already done,” Ali says. “I have them set early enough for us to make coffee and come down here to watch.” 

 

“It’ll be pretty different from the last time we watched the sunrise together, huh?” 

 

“So different,” Ali says. “I can’t believe that was almost a year ago. Did I ever tell you that I realized I loved you that morning? You were so good to me and you turned something sad into something I look back on and smile because it solidified how I felt about you.” 

 

Ashlyn smiles, responding with a deep kiss that leaves them both breathless. “Let’s go to our room.” 

 

They go back to their hotel room together but instead of stopping at the bed as Ali expects, Ashlyn walks right out to the balcony and sits on the reclining lounge chair, motioning for Ali to sit on her lap. Ashlyn starts playing their sex playlist on a low volume as Ali straddles her waist. They certainly won’t be quiet enough to have sex on the balcony but they make out for quite some time, their hands roaming under each other’s clothes. 

 

Ali rolls her hips as Ashlyn reaches under her dress, fingertips grazing her lace panties. “Touch me, baby,” she whispers. 

 

Ashlyn teasingly runs her fingers over Ali’s panties, briefly providing pressure where Ali wants her before pulling her hand away. She debates for a moment whether or not they should go back into the room when she gets an idea. Just on the other side of the sliding glass door, there’s a pullout couch. It certainly won’t be as comfortable as their king sized bed deeper in the room but it’s closer to the balcony, closer to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and Ashlyn thinks it’ll be worth the tradeoff. “Come with me.” 

 

She leads Ali inside, tossing the couch cushions aside. Ali catches onto what she’s doing so she nudges Ashlyn aside and pulls the bed out, bending at the knees and yanking on the handle until the momentum pulls the bed out. When it’s fully extended, it completely blocks the doorway, barely two inches between the right side of the bed and the open doorwall. 

 

They leave the door wide open and strip their clothes. Ashlyn turns the volume on her phone up a little, Dress by Taylor Swift filling the room as she fittingly watches Ali pull her dress over her head and drop it to the floor. Ashlyn closes the gap between them, pulling Ali close by the waist and running her hands over her panties again. She takes the fabric between her fingers, sliding the panties down Ali’s legs as she kisses down to her bra clad chest. When Ali steps out of her panties, Ashlyn moves to unclasp Ali’s bra, pulling off of her and dropping it onto the floor with the rest of their clothes. 

 

Ashlyn settles on the bed and Ali takes her place stradding her hips again. Their chest brush as they kiss. Ashlyn snakes her hand in between Ali’s legs, stroking her with her fingers as Ali grinds her hips. “You like that, baby?” Ashlyn asks as Ali throws her head back. 

 

“Yes,” Ali breathes. “Don’t stop.” 

 

Ashlyn does as she’s told. The angle isn’t the most comfortable and she knows she’ll need to stretch her wrist when they’re done but Ali is enjoying the position and that’s all that matters at the moment. Ali rides Ashlyn’s fingers, keeping her moans to a minimum with the open door just inches away. When she comes around Ashlyn’s fingers, she collapses down to her girlfriend’s chest, moaning against Ashlyn’s shoulder. 

 

“So good, babe,” Ali says as she stays in Ashlyn’s embrace. “Now let’s take care of the birthday girl.” She flashes Ashlyn a sly smile before kissing her way down her body. It’s been a month since her injury so she’s focused on keeping her upper body in shape while also rehabbing her knee. As a result, her arms and abdomen are more toned than ever which drives Ali wild. 

 

She lies in between Ashlyn’s legs, the right one bent at the knee and the left extended on the bed. She starts slowly but builds the pace until she has Ashlyn close to the edge. When Ashlyn is just about to come, Ali pauses what she’s doing and stifles a laugh at Ashlyn’s frustrated groan. Ashlyn tries to put her hand on the back of Ali’s head and push her back into place but Ali doesn’t budge. When she’s satisfied with how long she has waited, she starts eating Ashlyn out again, building her towards orgasm just to pull away at the last second again. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding,” Ashlyn groans. “Al, you’re gonna kill me.” 

 

Now Ali can’t help but giggle at her girlfriend’s expense. Figuring she’s teased her enough, she starts flicking her tongue again, bringing Ashlyn to a powerful orgasm within seconds. 

 

They lie together on the pull out couch for a few minutes before getting themselves ready for bed and moving into the bigger, more comfortable bed in the center of the room. Ali closes the doorwall but leaves the curtains open and settles into bed, curling up with her naked girlfriend. 

 

~

 

Ali’s alarm goes off at 6:30 the next morning. Ashlyn sleeps right through it, the type of person who needs multiple alarms before they’ll even consider opening their eyes. Ali is the complete opposite and when her alarm first sounds, she rolls over and turns it off, ready to start their day. 

 

Ali rolls over in Ashlyn’s arms, lightly running her hand through Ashlyn’s hair as she kisses her awake. Ali can tell when she wakes up based on the way her eyelids flutter and struggle to stay closed but she continues pretending to sleep, which Ali catches her doing every time she wakes her up like this. 

 

“Ash, come on,” Ali laughs, tickling her girlfriend’s side. 

 

“I was enjoying that,” Ashlyn says. She finally opens her eyes, puckering up for a good morning kiss. 

 

“If we hurry, we’ll have time to get coffee and bagels at the breakfast buffet downstairs before we go watch the sunrise.”

 

“And waffles and bacon,” Ashlyn says. “Oh, and an omelette.” 

 

“Work up an appetite last night?” Ali teases. 

 

“Someone tried to keep me up all night.” 

 

“You poor thing,” Ali says, cupping Ashlyn’s cheek. “Let’s go get food before you wither away.” 

 

They get ready quickly, both women opting for their new matching sweatshirts and joggers, not willing to get dressed up at such an early hour. They make the most of the free hotel breakfast, getting omelettes, bacon, fruit, and splitting a waffle. When they’re done, they walk outside to the boardwalk. The sun is just starting to peek up over the horizon, filling the sky with soft hues of blue, pink, purple, and orange. 

 

“Thank you for such an amazing getaway,” Ashlyn says, holding Ali’s hand. 

 

“You’re welcome. I love you.” 

 

“I love you too.” 

 

“So this is what it’s like waking up by the ocean, huh?” Ali asks. She looks out at the sunrise coming up over the water. The smell of saltwater permeates the air and the sound of waves hitting the shore is soothing, almost lulling Ali back to sleep. 

 

“Pretty great, isn’t it? Other than my family, it’s what I miss most about home. I’d love for you to come down there one time when my knee is better so we can watch the sunrise and get out in the water. I’d even teach you how to surf.” 

 

“One day,” Ali promises. “I definitely need to see where you’re from and meet the rest of your family.”

 

“If they love you even half as much as my mom and grandma, you’ll be in good shape. Grandma never stops talking about you. Every time I talk to her she asks how you’re doing and talks about how nice you are and how you do such a good job taking care of me.” 

 

“She’s the sweetest,” Ali says. “I can see why you adore her as much as you do.” 

 

They’re quiet for a moment as the watch the sun come up. “Can we just stay here forever?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Ugh, I wish,” Ali says. “But for now, we can go make the best of the time we have left in our hotel room.” 

 

Ashlyn takes Ali’s hand, leading the way back up to the hotel. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little birthday surprise for ashlyn. Next chapter covers their first anniversary and the following chapter brings more drama, which I'm sure you're all looking forward to. Keep those comments coming I love and appreciate all of your support on this fic :)


	24. Chapter 24

 

“Happy anniversary, baby,” Ashlyn says as she wakes up on the morning of December 5th. It’s been an entire year since their first date, since she asked Ali to be her girlfriend and she’s hoping to celebrate a little before they have to go to class.

 

The last few days have been rough emotionally. Though the team did well in Ashlyn’s absence, they lost in the semi-finals and Ashlyn won’t admit it but she feels a little guilty, almost like it’s her fault. She wonders how things might have been different if she wasn’t out with injury and she wishes she had been out there to help her team. As a result, she’s been a little down and has snapped at Ali over things she normally wouldn’t and she can’t wait to show her appreciation for her today.

 

“Happy anniversary,” Ali grins. She scoots closer for a kiss, her eyes fluttering closed again as their lips meet in a soft, loving kiss. When they part, a soft smile spreads across her face. “Can you believe it’s been a year? I’ve put up with you for an entire year.”

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes, brushing some of Ali’s hair away from her face. “Oh, you’ve put up with me, huh? How awful it must have been for you.”

 

“The worst,” Ali says. “You’re not sweet or funny or attractive or good in bed.” She kisses Ashlyn again, both smirking into it until they have to pull apart.

 

“I love you.”

 

“Love you more,” Ali grins.

 

They fall into an easy, comfortable silence. One of the many things Ali loves about their relationship is they don’t have to force anything. Even when they first met, very rarely did they have to stumble through an awkward silence and the more they got to know each other, the more comfortable they became in their interactions. A year since they started dating, Ali has never been more comfortable with anyone.

 

It almost feels as if Ashlyn has been in her life forever. It feels as if they’ve known each other their entire lives when in reality, it’s been less than eighteen months. She dated a few guys in highschool but never for very long—her longest relationship to this point lasted eight months—and she never had a connection this strong with them. Ashlyn understands her on the deepest levels and she has never felt anything but loved and safe with her.

 

“I would say we should shower together before class but I think we both know that we’ll never make it to class if we do that,” Ali says, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn.

 

“No, we’d never make it out of the house. We going for dinner tonight?”

 

“Of course,” Ali grins. She finally untangles herself from her girlfriend to start getting ready for class. “And I think we should get frozen yogurt after to recreate our first date a little.”

 

“Want me to act as nervous as I was that day?” Ashlyn asks as she too gets out of bed to get ready.

 

“You were so cute,” Ali says.

 

“I was a mess.”

 

Ali shrugs as she digs through the drawer of clothes she keeps at Ashlyn’s, selecting basic black leggings and a grey sweater to wear to class. “It worked, didn’t it? I didn’t have to think twice when you asked me to be your girlfriend.”

 

“I think it was the dimple,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Yeah, you might be right,” Ali says. She changes into her clothes and crosses the room to where Ashlyn stands looking through her closet. She wraps her arms around Ashlyn from behind, resting her head on her back. Ashlyn’s scent fills her nose as she inhales deeply. Holding her girlfriend in her arms, she allows herself to completely relax for a moment. “I should get going,” she mumbles.

 

Ashlyn turns in Ali’s arms, drawing her in for a long, slow kiss. “I’ll see you after class. Love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

~

 

It’s final exam review day in all of Ali’s classes so as much as she wants to look ahead to her and Ashlyn’s anniversary date, she has to stay focused. She feels pretty good about all of her exams this semester and since Ashlyn hasn’t been practicing or playing with her team, she’s been working at the library again and they resumed their habit of studying together while Ashlyn works.

 

When Ali gets out of class, she has a little time to kill so she decides to invite Heather and Crystal out for coffee. Crystal is a freshman and a new member of Kappa Delta. Ali connected with her during the rush period this fall so when it came time for her to select a little, there was no doubt in her mind who it should be.

 

“There’s my favorite little and grand little,” Heather says as she meets Ali and Crystal at the coffee shop. “So are you and Ash excited for your big anniversary date tonight?”

 

“Very excited,” Ali grins. “Not sure where we’re gonna eat yet but I think we’re gonna go get frozen yogurt after because that’s what we did on our first date.”

 

“Did you get her a present?” Crystal asks.

 

Ali nods. “I can’t believe I didn’t show you guys, oh my god.” She takes her phone out of her purse and pulls up the screenshot of the gift she ordered: matching coordinate bracelets. Both bracelets are bolo style with black rope straps. In the center, there’s a slightly curved gold bar with the coordinates to Old Well engraved on the front. They’re nice enough on their own but will pair well with Ashlyn’s favorite watch and they’re casual enough to wear every day. “It’s the coordinates to Old Well, where she asked me to be her girlfriend,” she explains.

 

“Oh my gosh, that is the cutest,” Heather says. “She’s gonna cry.”

 

“I know,” Ali grins. “Is it bad that I’m gonna enjoy that?”

 

Both of her friends shake their heads. “That’s the sign of a really good gift,” Crystal says.

 

“You’re lucky you can get those reactions out of her,” Heather says. “If I got Dave something sentimental like that he’d be like,” she drops her voice in her best impression of her boyfriend, “‘cool, thanks.’ He’s pretty stoic.”

 

“One of the benefits of dating a woman, I guess. Ash is actually pretty emotional. I think she doesn’t like to show that side too much but I get to see it, obviously.”

 

“How’s her knee doing?”

 

“Pretty good, actually. I know I told you it was really hard at first when she was on crutches but now that she’s able to walk around normally, it’s been a little better. She’s been a little on edge since the team lost in the semis which is understandable because she probably thinks it might have been different if she was able to play. So that’s made things a little prickly this week but mostly it’s okay now. It’s cute because she works as hard at physical therapy as she usually does at practice. I think it gives her something to work towards again, you know? She couldn’t work towards another championship this year but she can work towards getting back out there for next year.”

 

“Well you know we’re all rooting for her to play again soon,” Heather says.

 

“I know,” Ali grins. “And she definitely appreciates that she has so many people behind her.”

 

When they finish their coffee, Crystal heads off to class while Ali and Heather both go back to the sorority house. Ali has just a few hours before dinner so she decides to take a shower and start getting ready as soon as she gets back home.

 

~

 

Ashlyn, meanwhile, gets ready at the house she shares with her teammates. She’s in the middle of picking her outfit when Tobin comes through her open door.

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn says. “What’s up?”

 

“Just kinda bored,” Tobin says. She sits on Ashlyn’s bed and watches as Ashlyn seems to debate between two dress shirts. Both shirts are on hangers, which Ashlyn holds in her hands as she looks back and forth between the shirts. “I like the white one,” Tobin offers.

 

“Yeah, I think so too,” Ashlyn says. “It’s Ali’s favorite so I know she’ll love it.”

 

“So how’s she doing?”

 

“She’s good. You saw her when we all had dinner here last night, remember?” She studies Tobin curiously, finding her demeanor a little odd. She seems strangely tense and Ashlyn can tell there’s something on her mind. “Is something wrong?”

 

Tobin shakes her head. “No, I, uh,” she starts, “I was just wondering if she’s mentioned Christen talking about me at all? She came to a lot of games this year—”

 

“I know, I sat with her and Ali,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Yeah, so she came to a lot of games this year and we started talking more and more but now that the season is over, I haven’t seen her much and I wonder if she ever mentions me?”

 

Ashlyn’s face splits into a dimple showing grin. “Oh my god, you have a crush on her.”

 

Tobin nods, avoiding eye contact.

 

“I mean, Ali hasn’t mentioned anything specific but we’ve definitely talked about there being something between you guys. You should just go for it.”

 

“Wait, you’ve talked about it?”

 

“Yeah, dude, we actually talked about it a few weeks ago. Remember when you scored during the first game of the NCAA tournament? Chris was, like, way happier about that than about anyone else’s goals. Ali and I thought it was weird and we agreed that you’d make a cute couple.”

 

“So you think I should ask her out?”

 

“Definitely.”

 

“Cool,” Tobin grins. “If it goes wrong, I’m blaming you.”

 

“Fair enough,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

Ali decides to meet Ashlyn at her place so when she inevitably stays the night, she has her car and won’t need a ride home. She brings her gift for Ashlyn inside with her, greeting Kelley and Whitney in the living room on her way upstairs to Ashlyn’s room.

 

“Hey,” Ali grins, walking into Ashlyn’s room. “You’re wearing my favorite shirt.”

 

“Am I? I didn't know, it’s not like you mention that every time I wear it,” Ashlyn teases. “Are you ready for your present?”

 

Ali nods. She shows Ashlyn the small wrapped box in her hands but decides that she wants to go second. “Gimme.”

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes playfully as she hands over her own wrapped gifts. Ali opens the card first, a simplistic white card with black text on the front reading “today I have loved you for 365 days” in beautiful black script.

 

“Ash,” Ali says, kissing her girlfriend before she even looks inside the card. When they part, she flips the card open, reading Ashlyn’s writing.

 

_Ali,_

 

_I’ve actually loved you longer than 365 days because I loved you long before we started dating but, you know, who’s counting? (I am). I’ve loved you for 365 days plus three and a half months._

 

_I’ve always heard that being in love with your best friend is the most wonderful feeling in the world. If there’s one thing I have learned in the last year is that it’s true. You love me on my worst days as much as you love me on my best and for that, I’m eternally grateful._

 

_I know my injury has tested our relationship recently but I want you to know that I’m not sure how I would’ve made it through without you. In the hardest moments, your unconditional love and support keeps me going._

 

_I love you so much, baby, and I can’t wait to see where life takes us. Here’s to many more years._

 

_Ashlyn_

 

“Babe,” Ali whines. “You’re killing me.”

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn says, drawing Ali in for a kiss.  

 

Ali is still smiling as she tears into the first gift, a slightly heavy medium sized box. Inside, she finds two jar candles with the cutest labels she’s ever seen. Both candles have a tan label, Silver Dollar Candle Co. printed across the top, smaller print underneath saying that they’re handmade. What really makes them special, though, is that in big letters, both candles say “you’re my person” right in the middle of the label with a sketched heart on either side. At the bottom of each label, Ali finds information about the individual candles. One candle is lavender and vanilla while the other is strawberry and cream and they both smell so good that she can't wait to burn them.

 

“They had a bunch of different scents but those combinations reminded me the most of you,” Ashlyn explains.

 

“They’re awesome,” Ali says. She sets the strawberry one on Ashlyn’s bed and unscrews the lid on the other one, breathing deeply. “Ugh, this smells so good.” She does the same with the strawberries and cream, loving both scent combinations equally.

 

“You like?”

 

“I love,” Ali says. She carefully sets the candles onto the bed and goes to open the other gift, a large but skinny item. She tears into the paper, finding a white 11x17 canvas, the words “I love you more” painted in black in what she recognizes as Ashlyn’s writing.

 

“I painted it,” Ashlyn says. “I saw one at the store kind of like it but I figured it would mean more if I made it myself.” Ever since her injury, she’s been trying some other hobbies to enjoy until she can play again. Although she’s not very good yet, art is something she has quickly found she loves. She has a sketchbook and has done a few small paintings in her spare time. This, although nothing more than a canvas with words painted on, is something she’s been excited to give Ali for weeks.

 

“It does and I love it,” Ali says. She kisses Ashlyn on the lips, still holding the canvas in her hand. It’s such a simple gift but the sentiment is beautiful and she can’t wait to hang it in her room. She’s so wrapped up in staring at the words Ashlyn painted, thinking about the meaning behind them, that she almost forgets about her own gift for Ashlyn.

 

Ashlyn picks up the present Ali brought, holding the wrapped package in her hands. “May I?”

Ali nods and waits in anticipation as Ashlyn slides her thumb under a sean in the wrapping paper and rips it off. Ashlyn opens the box, taking the black and gold bracelet into her hands. She studies the engraving but seems a little confused so Ali decides to help her out. “Read the card,” she says, pointing to the small envelope inside the box.

 

Ashlyn carefully opens the envelope, taking out a small, simple card. The front says “I love your face” in big, bold letters and then in smaller letters, “and the rest of you too”. Inside, she finds Ali’s writing.

 

_Ash,_

 

_Happy anniversary, baby._

 

_Engraved in this bracelet are the coordinates to Old Well, where you asked me to be your girlfriend one year ago today. I didn’t know what to expect when we first started dating and you have surprised me in the best possible ways._

 

_I fall for you a little more every day (yes, even on days when we bicker and fight) and every day, you feel a little more like home. I have no idea what I would do without you. So, as a reminder of where our relationship officially began, I got us these matching bracelets._

 

_I love you!_

_Ali_

 

Ashlyn reads the note a second time, tears stinging the back of her eyes. “Al, this is incredible,” she breathes.

 

“I’m already wearing mine,” Ali says. She pulls up the sleeve of her denim jacket to show Ashlyn the bracelet on her wrist.

 

“I want to wear mine too,” Ashlyn says. She pulls the straps a little so she can slide the bracelet over her hand. When it’s on her wrist, she has Ali pull the ends of the straps in opposite directions to tighten it to her liking. She shakes her wrist so the gold bar settles where she wants it and studies her new bracelet, admiring the simplicity of the black and gold creation. “You really got us matching bracelets with the coordinates to where I asked you to be my girlfriend?”

 

“Yeah, why? Do you not like it?”

 

“No, of course I do. I love it, baby. It’s just really fucking gay,” Ashlyn says, eliciting a laugh from Ali.

 

“Ash, we’re girlfriends. We have sex, like, kind of a lot, and you think matching bracelets are gay?”

 

“It is,” Ashlyn says. “I love it so much but it’s pretty gay.”

 

“And it made you cry a little so what does that say about you?” Ali teases.

 

“Touché,” Ashlyn shrugs. Her dimple shows as she grins, which Ali can never resist kissing. Ashlyn’s dimpled smile is one of her favorite sights in the world. They stand together for a few moments, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

 

“Let’s go eat, I’m starving,” Ali finally says.

 

They go to one of their favorite restaurants in town. It’s pub style so it’s not overly fancy, which is perfectly fine by them. They both get burgers and fries and dig into their food the second it arrives.

 

“Oh my god, I forgot to tell you,” Ashlyn starts, “Tobin likes Christen.”

 

“I knew it,” Ali exclaims.

 

“She came to my room while I was getting ready earlier and she was so weird. I could tell she was nervous about something so I asked her what was going on and she asked if you’d mentioned Christen talking about her recently. She said she hasn’t seen her as much since season ended and she was wondering if Chris ever talks about her.”

 

“She does, yeah,” Ali says. “She tries to be subtle about it but obviously I have her figured out. Did you tell her to go for it?”

 

“Of course. We need another soccer team and Kappa Delta relationship.”  

 

“Look at us being matchmakers,” Ali laughs.

 

They both end up bringing left overs home to save room for frozen yogurt, which is just down the street from the pub. Ashlyn gets her usual combination of candy, cookies, and chocolate and caramel sauce while Ali gets just cookie dough and peanut butter cups topped with caramel. Though their combinations are similar, Ali can’t resist stealing some of Ashlyn’s again.

 

“I have no idea how the gummy bears work with all that chocolate but it does,” Ali says as Ashlyn takes a spoonful of her ice cream in retaliation.

 

“Magic,” Ashlyn says. “Crazy that it’s already been a year since I brought you here for our first date.”

 

“Been a good year, huh?”

 

“Overall, I’d say so. I mean, my ACL might have a different opinion but I think any year with you is a good year.” She knows it’s more than a little cheesy but it’s the truth. Her knee will heal and she’ll get back out on the pitch with her teammates but in the meantime, her love for Ali has grown exponentially. She looks at Ali smiling across the table, memories from exactly a year ago flooding back to her.

 

A year ago, she nervously showed up at Ali’s door with flowers, worried that she would somehow say or do the wrong thing and scare Ali away. The knowledge that Ali had feelings for her was still so new that she couldn’t quite believe it even as she knocked on Ali’s door for their first date.

 

A year later, Ali sits across from her in the same frozen yogurt place and all those nerves Ashlyn felt on the first date have been replaced by warmth and comfort. Sometimes, it still amazes her that Ali chose her and she hopes those feelings never fade. The butterflies are still there but the nerves are long gone.

 

Ali catches Ashlyn lost in thought and looks at her girlfriend curiously. “What?”

 

“I just love you,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Love you more.”

 

They finish their frozen yogurt together and when they throw their trash away, Ali brushes Ashlyn’s stomach over her white button down, feeling Ashlyn’s abs clench a little under her light touch.

 

“I take it you want me to take you home?”

 

Ali bites her bottom lip between her teeth as she nods. They could recreate that walk to Old Well on campus but right now, she just wants to be alone with her girlfriend.

 

Ashlyn starts their sex playlist as soon as they’re in her room. Music playing over her bluetooth speaker, she smiles as she and Ali stand together at the foot of her bed.

 

“Thanks for the best year ever,” Ali says. She puts her hand on the back of Ashlyn’s neck, pulling her in for a kiss. She plays with the short hair at the nape of Ashlyn’s neck as they kiss, lightly scratching Ashlyn’s scalp with her fingertips. Ashlyn hums appreciatively into their kiss and Ali pulls away, a smirk on her face. She moves her hands to Ashlyn’s chest, slowly undoing the buttons of her shirt. When the buttons are all undone, Ali pushes the shirt off of Ashlyn’s shoulders and moves her hands to touch Ashlyn’s stomach.

 

“Baby,” Ashlyn whines. Her eyes flutter closed at Ali’s light touches for a moment before she turns the tide and reaches to pull Ali’s sweater over her head. Ali is wearing a bralette so Ashlyn helps pull that over her head as well, dropping it to the floor.

 

“Yours too,” Ali demands.

 

Ashlyn strips herself of her sports bra. When that lands in the growing pile on the floor, she takes her jeans and underwear off while Ali does the same. “So beautiful, babe,” Ashlyn says, taking in Ali’s naked form. She pulls Ali in for a kiss, their bodies pressed together. The longer they kiss, the more the fire in Ashlyn’s belly burns. Her pulse quickens and she loses her breath.

 

Ali drags Ashlyn down to the bed, giggling as Ashlyn lands right on top of her. “Fuck me, baby.”

 

Ashlyn licks her lips in anticipation, crawling to keep up as Ali scoots to the head of the bed until her head lands on a pillow. Ashlyn makes a slow journey down Ali’s body, focusing on her breasts for a few minutes and loving the way Ali writhes underneath her. She nips at her hip bones before she settles between Ali’s legs, entering her with two fingers as she flicks her tongue over her clit.

 

“Holy shit,” Ali groans.

 

Ashlyn curls her fingers rhythmically while she simultaneously eats Ali out. Normally, she might try to tease Ali a little but she’s eager for her own orgasm and she’s loving Ali’s quiet moans so she doesn’t stop. A second before Ali comes, her entire body goes rigid for just a moment before relaxing completely as she comes around Ashlyn’s fingers.

 

“Holy shit,” Ali breathes. “Talk about amazing anniversary sex.”

 

Ashlyn smirks as she pulls away from Ali, licking her fingers clean and then wiping her mouth. “Glad you enjoyed,” she laughs.

 

“Now I guess it’s your turn, huh?” Ali says. When Ashlyn lies on the bed next to her, she moves to straddle her lap, leaning down to kiss her. She can still taste herself on Ashlyn’s tongue and she moans into the kiss.

 

Ali leaves hickeys all over Ashlyn’s chest and when she moves in between her legs, she leaves even more hickeys on the inside of Ashlyn’s thighs. She can feel how aroused her girlfriend is in the way she moves, the way she tries to pull her to where she wants her.

 

“Ali, please,” Ashlyn says. “I didn’t tease you this long.”

 

“Fine,” Ali says, abandoning the hickey she was working on. Ashlyn is exceedingly wet and for the first few seconds, Ali simply tries to clean her up a little so they won’t have to change the sheets before they fall asleep. Though she’s not trying very hard to stimulate Ashlyn, it does the trick anyway and she starts bucking her hips a little to meet Ali’s tongue. When Ali ups her pace, she giggles a little at Ashlyn’s sharp intake of breath.

 

“Fuck,” Ashlyn groans. “So good.”

 

Ali smirks as she continues working, not stopping until Ashlyn moans her name as she comes.

 

“Someone was worked up,” Ali teases. She cuddles against her girlfriend, rubbing light circles on Ashlyn’s arm in the way she likes.

 

“Yeah, well when your girlfriend spends thirty minutes turning your body into one giant hickey, you tend to get a little worked up,” Ashlyn says, eliciting a laugh from Ali.

 

“Consider them an extra anniversary present.”

 

“You’re the worst,” Ashlyn laughs. She holds Ali in her arms, using the hand that Ali’s not tickling to play with Ali’s hair. “I already can’t wait until our next anniversary. Shit, these hickies will probably still be there.”

 

“It’ll be hard to top this one,” Ali muses. She wonders what they’ll do next year, if they’ll have a fancier dinner or if it’ll be casual once again. Either way, it’ll be amazing as long as she’s spending it with Ashlyn.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will bring the start of some angst so buckle up ;)
> 
> as always, i’d love to know your favorite parts :)


	25. Chapter 25

 

 

A New Year’s Eve party rages at Ashlyn’s house. She’s not sure how the party ended up being this big when they initially planned on just close friends but it seems as if every athlete and Kappa Delta at UNC is in her living room.

 

Music plays through the soundbar while chatter and laughter ring through the room. Ashlyn chats with Kelley, Sydney, and Alex while Ali stands with her Kappa Delta sisters, a glass of champagne in hand.

 

“Look at Tobin and Christen,” Sydney says, gesturing to where the pair are secluded in a corner, seemingly deep in conversation.

 

Ashlyn smiles as her gaze lands on her friends. Since her talk with Tobin a few weeks ago, Christen has been hanging around the house a lot more often. Neither has said anything about the nature of their relationship but Tobin’s room is right next to Ashlyn’s and she’s heard more than she would ever want to hear. Based on the muffled moans emanating from that direction the other night, Ashlyn knows something is going on between the two. She and Ali were in the middle of watching a movie on Netflix, enjoying their time together after both returned to campus from spending Christmas with their families when they heard those unmistakable sounds.

 

“Huh, I didn’t even know Christen was back on campus,” Ali said, turning up the volume on Ashlyn’s TV.

 

Neither mentioned the incident to Tobin or Christen but since then, Christen has spent a lot more time at the house.

 

“She’s been here a lot recently,” Kelley says. “And I mean she’s been here more than Ali so that’s saying something.”

 

Ashlyn nods, taking a sip of her drink. “It’s not our place to tell, obviously, but it seems like Ali and I aren’t the only Kappa Delta and soccer relationship anymore.”

 

“God, I bet years from now after we’re all graduated everyone will wonder why the soccer team and KDs are always, like, super close. It’ll be some kind of Carolina folklore.” Alex says.

 

“Oh my god,” Kelley laughs. “You’re so right. Like, even when Ash and Ali have graduated, so many of the younger players and KDs will have become friends so it’ll just be natural for it to keep going. All because this idiot couldn’t keep it in her pants,” she says, gesturing to Ashlyn.

 

“I mean, you’ve seen Ali, right? You really expected me to keep it in my pants with someone like that coming over to cuddle in those tiny dorm beds almost every night?” Ashlyn laughs. She shifts her gaze to look at her girlfriend across the room. Tonight, Ali is clad in a gold sparkly dress, similar to the one she sent Ashlyn photos of last year. The ever present black and gold coordinate bracelet adorns her wrist and she’s wearing the stack rings Ashlyn bought for her birthday.

 

“Yeah, we get it. Ali is super hot,” Kelley says. “When are you gonna be my wingman and help me get a girl?”

 

“Please, like you need any help,” Alex laughs.

 

“I do okay,” Kelley smirks.

 

They start talking about something else but Ashlyn is distracted by Ali and the way she throws her head back in laughter at something Crystal has said. Ashlyn excuses herself from her friends and makes her way over to Ali, playfully tapping her ass as she comes up next to her.

 

“Having fun?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“You guys always have fun parties here,” Ali says.

 

“And, hey, this year when you want to sneak away together you can just go to your room,” Heather teases. “No more sprinting out the door to a cab like last year.”

 

“That was one time,” Ashlyn exclaims, eliciting a laugh from their friends.

 

“There was also the incident at the formal,” Heather says with a pointed look as she brings her drink to her lips.

 

A few months ago, Ali might have blushed bright red at Heather’s comments but now she simply shrugs and takes a drink of her champagne. “Hey, if you can’t find us later tonight you know where we’ll be.”

 

They continue chatting with their friends, different people sweeping in and out of the conversation. By the time the ball starts to drop, Ali is a little drunk on champagne and giggly. She holds Ashlyn’s hand, playfully swinging it back and forth as everyone faces the TV waiting for the ball to drop.

 

They count down along with everyone else and when the clock strikes midnight, Ali turns to Ashlyn and grins.

 

“Happy new year, baby,” Ashlyn says.

 

Ali smiles as she puts a hand behind Ashlyn’s neck and pulls her in for a deep kiss. They’re both a little drunk and everyone around them is kissing their own dates so they kiss longer and deeper than they otherwise would in front of people. Ashlyn kisses Ali deeply, resisting the urge to slide her hands up Ali’s dress. When they part, they’re both breathless as they rest their foreheads together.

 

“Happy new year,” Ali grins.

 

~

 

Now in the second semester of her sophomore year, the majority of Ali’s classes are subjects she wants to study rather than general education requirements. She has a history class, two political science courses, and one sociology class. One of her political science courses is an upper division course with a professor she’s had before and adores. It’s a comparative course about the political structure in the United States and large European countries and it’s one of the courses she’s most excited about.  

 

She knows one of her classmates, Sienna, so on the first day, they sit next to one another. When their professor finishes going over the syllabus and lets them go for the day, Ali makes small talk with Sienna.

 

“So do you have any other classes today?”

 

“No, not today but I do have to go to a study abroad meeting now. I’m looking into going to Germany for the fall semester.”

 

“Oh, wow,” Ali says. She slips her syllabus into the folder for this class and puts the folder into her backpack. “That sounds really cool. I’ve always wanted to do study abroad.”

 

“You should come to the meeting,” Sienna says. “It’s just informational so you don’t have to make a decision right now.”

 

“Sure,” Ali grins.

 

The meeting is set to take place in a building just a five minute walk from the one their class is held in so Ali and Sienna walk there together, chatting the entire way. They’re some of the first to arrive at the meeting so they take two seats next to each other in the first row and wait for the meeting to begin. Ali doesn’t have any of the information yet but already she's so excited about the possibilities. She sits in anxious anticipation, biting the inside of her cheek as the meeting begins.

 

She soon learns that the meeting is about study abroad in general and not specific to one program. Certain programs sound more tempting than others but she loves the idea of Germany since she took German all through high school and her first semester in college. Plus, it would be nice to have a friendly face in Sienna on the same trip. Sienna is a fellow political science major so they’d probably even have a lot of the same classes together, which is all the more enticing. She, of course, has tons of questions, which she asks about at the end of the session. She needs to know about financial aid, the requirements and course loads, the timing of the trip.

 

By the time the meeting ends, she’s excited and overloaded with information and decisions to make. The deadline for applications is six weeks away so while she has time, she doesn’t have a lot of it when she considers all the decisions and planning the trip will require before she commits by applying.

 

“What do you think?” Sienna asks as the meeting ends. The faculty advisor is still up at the front of the room, chatting with students that had additional questions.

 

“It sounds amazing,” Ali says. “I took German in high school and first semester freshman year so it might be cool to dust those skills off again, you know?”

 

“We could probably even be roommates there, if you want. I don’t know anyone else who is considering this particular trip.”

 

“That would be great,” Ali grins. “I still have to figure out if I can go but I really want to. I just have to look into it more, you know?”

 

“Sure, of course. How about we exchange numbers and if you decide you want to do it, you can text me?”

 

They trade phones, entering their contact information while they start the trek back to their cars. Ali can’t wait to get home and visit the study abroad website to get more specific information about this potential new adventure.

 

When she gets home, she sits cross legged in bed with her laptop resting on a throw pillow in front of her. She reads the electronic brochure for the Germany study abroad program over and over again, falling more in love with the idea the more she learns about the trip. She’ll spend most of the semester learning from some of the best professors in Frankfurt in addition to a one week stay in Berlin. She’ll have the weekends, including Friday, free to do whatever she pleases and when she goes through the photos on the website, it becomes clear that most students use their free time to travel around the continent.

 

It’s the opportunity of a lifetime and Ali would regret not taking it. She considers every facet of the trip: the financial costs; the potential impact on her and Ashlyn’s relationship; to the ability to list the trip on resumes, framing herself as a well-rounded and worldly person. After thinking on it for the weekend, she decides that the reward is greater than the costs. She texts Sienna Sunday night and starts looking for jobs on or near campus to help fund her travels.

 

~

 

Ali isn’t sure why, but she’s afraid to bring up the trip to Ashlyn. She starts her application for the program that same weekend, along with filling out job applications. Figuring the job topic will be easier to discuss, she decides to bring that up first. They’re watching Netflix in Ashlyn’s bed when she rolls over on her side, looking at her girlfriend.

 

“Think you can get me an interview at the library? I’m looking for a job.”

 

“I’m sure I can,” Ashlyn says. “What’d you do, spend too much loan money on purses?”

 

Ali rolls her eyes, playfully swatting Ashlyn’s arm. “No. I, uh, I need to save money.”

 

“Oh yeah? Why?”

 

Ali sits up in bed. She plays with the bracelet on her wrist, rubbing her thumb over the engraved bar. “I’m gonna do study abroad.”

 

“What?” Ashlyn asks, raising her eyebrows. “When?”

 

“All of fall semester. In Germany,” Ali says. She’s struggling to read Ashlyn’s emotions which worries her a little. She casts her gaze down as she continues to fidget with her bracelet.

 

“So next semester. You’re leaving next semester?” Ashlyn asks. Ali has not once mentioned study abroad as a possibility so she’s blindsided to learn that Ali plans to spend an entire semester in Germany.

 

“Yes,” Ali says.

 

“When did you decide this? Why didn’t you tell me you were considering it?” Ashlyn asks. She’s not angry but she is upset that Ali she’s just learning of this plan when Ali has already made up her mind. Ali doesn’t need her permission to do anything but it hurts a little to not be included in such a big decision making process.

 

“About two weeks ago,” Ali says. “I didn’t know how to tell you, I don’t know.”

 

“Does it have to be fall semester? Can it be spring semester?”

 

“I’ve already finished my application.”

 

“Great,” Ashlyn scoffs. She rolls her eyes a recoils when Ali tries to take her hand.

 

“Why are you being like this?” Ali demands. “It’s not like I need to ask you if I can do things. I can make my own decisions.”

 

“Gee, thanks, I had no idea you’re capable of making your own decisions,” Ashlyn snaps. “You can do whatever you want but I just don’t understand why I’m only hearing about this after you already made up your mind. Like my opinion and feelings about it don’t matter.”

 

“And what’s your opinion, huh? Because it’s pretty clear you don’t want me to go. You want me to stay here.”

 

“Of course I’d love for you to stay here but that’s not what I’m saying. I’m sure this will be a great opportunity for you but you know I was looking forward to you being able to see me play again in the fall, right? And you’ll miss my birthday and our anniversary. That’s why I asked if you could do it during the spring semester.”  

 

Ali wants to say that Ashlyn is being ridiculous but she has to admit (to herself, at least) that she’d have the same reservations if the situation were reversed. “My friend from class is going fall semester; she’s the reason I even decided to go.”

 

“So she was a bigger part of your decision than me and our relationship,” Ashlyn says, rolling her eyes.  

 

“Why are you acting like this?” Ali demands. Ashlyn has always been supportive of her hopes and dreams and although she was a little nervous to talk to her about this, she never expected her to act like this. She expected her to be a little sad about the time they’ll spend apart but she never expected it to turn into an argument.

 

“Because I’m gonna miss you,” Ashlyn says, exasperated with this entire conversation. “Because I wish you had talked to me about this first. I’m not saying I would’ve tried to change your mind because if it’s important for you to go, then I fully support you but I just wish I knew it was something you were considering before things were finalized. I would’ve included you on such a big decision, that’s all I’m saying.”

 

“I’m gonna miss you too, baby. So, so much. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you know? It’ll be my last chance to do something like this before I have to start doing law internships as I finish undergrad. And, yes, I probably should’ve talked to you first but you know this is how I operate. I like to make sense of things in my own head first and with something like this, the more I thought about it, the harder it would’ve been to change my mind.”

 

“I know and I understand,” Ashlyn says. “Sometimes I forget that we process things so differently but I really would’ve liked to know it was on the table first. I’m your girlfriend and I know it might not have sounded like it at first but I really do support you and your goals. I’m always so proud of you.”

 

“And I’m always proud of you,” Ali says. “Which is why it was a little difficult to make up my mind. I don’t want to miss any of the things you mentioned any more than you want me to miss them but it’s a great opportunity that I would regret not taking. You and I will be fine. We’ll have FaceTime dates and I’ll send you lots of postcards and German chocolate.”

 

“Now we’re talking,” Ashlyn grins.

 

~

 

Ali ends up getting a job at the library. She and Ashlyn end up with the same shift sometimes but other times, they have completely different schedules. She saves as much money as possible but as Valentine’s Day rolls around, she knows she’ll have to make an exception to buy a gift for Ashlyn and for their date night.

 

Two weeks before Valentine’s Day, she wants to start forming some plans for the holiday.

 

“So what are we thinking for Valentine’s Day?” She asks one evening as they hang out in Ashlyn’s room.

 

“Probably dinner again, right? Steakhouse?”

 

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

 

Ashlyn blushes a little as she starts speaking again. “I’ve kind of been thinking recently that, um, it might be kind of fun to try some sex toys,” she says. Ahe pulls her sleeves over her hands and blushes a little as she waits for Ali to respond. When Ali doesn’t say anything, she blushes even more. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to it’s just that I love you a lot and I feel really close to you and I’m ready to take that step if you are.”

 

Ali smiles and takes both of Ashlyn’s hands in her own. “You’re cute and sweet but you don’t need to explain; you had me at sex toys,” she says, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Of course. You know I love getting railed,” Ali says with a wink. She reaches under Ashlyn’s bed where she put her laptop earlier, settling it on her lap. She quickly finds a website as Ashlyn sits beside her, too stunned to say anything. “You gonna help me pick some?”

 

“Yeah, sorry,” Ashlyn says. “I guess I didn’t expect you to be so into this.”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be into it?” Ali asks. She sets the laptop on the bed for a moment and turns to look at her girlfriend. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m really into you and this can make our sex life better than it already is.”

 

Ashlyn smiles and leans in for a quick kiss. When they part, the blush on her cheeks has faded and she’s smirking. “Well let’s pick some stuff out, then.”

 

Ali excitedly grabs her laptop again. They scroll through the main page of the website, getting an idea of the options that are available. Ali knows the kinds of products she would like to try but before she goes anywhere specific, she looks at Ashlyn who seems nervous once again. “What do you think, babe? Anything look good?”

 

“Uh, maybe let’s start by looking at the vibrators,” Ashlyn says. “I mean, I’ll need one while you’re in Germany.”

 

“Good point,” Ali laughs. She navigates to that section of the website, again surveying the options.

 

“That one looks good,” Ashlyn says, pointing to one that catches her eye. It’s on the low end price wise but when Ali clicks on it, the reviews seem pretty good considering it’s less than $30. Ali, meanwhile, selects a small and discreet model shaped like lipstick to put in her checked bag going to Germany.

 

“You’re really gonna bring that with you?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Can’t let you have all the fun while I’m away,” Ali shrugs.

 

Their choices in the cart, Ali navigates to the strap-on section of the website. They both get a little awkward with all the options displayed in front of them but Ashlyn is quick to break the tension. “So you want me to rail you, huh?” she teases.

 

“Yes,” Ali says. “And vice versa.”

 

Ashlyn blushes once again. “You’ll be the death of me. You know that, right?”

 

“And what a sweet, sweet death it’ll be,” Ali teases, leaning in for a kiss.

 

Ashlyn smiles as Ali starts scrolling through the page. She’s been thinking about taking this step for a while so now that it's finally happening, she lets herself imagine using each toy they consider. She’s never taken this step with a girlfriend before so as much as she’s turned on by the thought of using these toys with Ali, she also loves what it says about their relationship. They trust one another implicitly and they’re taking this next step together.

 

“What do you think about this one?” Ashlyn asks, pointing to one Ali might like.

 

“Hmm, too big,” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn points to the one next to it, a smaller model but essentially the same thing. “That one?”

 

“Too small.”

 

“Okay, Goldilocks,” Ashlyn teases.

 

“Oooh, that one,” Ali says. She opens the page for a hot pink vibrating model, eliciting a laugh from her girlfriend.

 

“Really, Al?”

 

“It’s cute,” Ali says.

 

“It’s a vibrating strap on dildo, it doesn’t need to be cute.”

 

“You just don’t want to wear it because it’s pink.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “I mean, I would prefer the teal one,” she says, pointing to the other color option. “At least it’s not hot pink.”

 

“Okay but the pink one has sparkles, so.”

 

“Jesus Christ,” Ashlyn laughs. She runs a hand through her hair, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend’s priorities when choosing a dildo of all things. There’s no way she’s gonna win this one so although she’d rather not have to wear the hot pink one, Ali is clearly set on it. “Okay, fine.”

 

Ali adds her choice to the cart and goes back to the previous page to find one for Ashlyn. “What are you thinking?”

 

“Nothing, uh, too realistic,” Ashlyn says.

 

“What, you mean you don’t want this super veiny flesh colored one?” Ali asks.

 

“Definitely not,” Ashlyn laughs. “Too realistic silicone ones freak me out.”

 

Ali scrolls to the section of the non-realistic ones and pauses so Ashlyn can find one she likes. She definitely didn’t expect they’d be doing this today but she’s excited to experience this with Ashlyn.

 

“That one looks good,” Ashlyn says, pointing to a non-realistic matte black one. She’s never used one before so she has no idea what she’s doing but it looks like it’ll work and, like Ali’s, it has a vibrating function. With all of their selections made, Ali navigates to the cart, causing Ashlyn’s eyes to go wide at the cost. “We could take the vibrators out,” she says.

 

“What? No,” Ali says. “Didn’t we say we need them for when I’m studying abroad? Besides, each one of those is only $25. That’s not bad at all.”

 

“Yeah, but we can’t spend over $200 on sex toys,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Of course we can,” Ali says. “One, it’s our Valentine’s Day presents to each other. Two, It’s an investment—just think that the more we use them, the better their value.”

 

“So you’re saying that to be financially responsible we need to fuck all the time?”

 

“Exactly,” Ali says. “It’s the responsible thing to do. And, look, we’ll get free lube for spending over $100.”

 

“Oh, wow, a $10 value,” Ashlyn teases. “We’re gonna have to eat at, like, McDonald’s for Valentine’s Day if we do this.”

 

Ali shrugs. “I’d be perfectly fine with that. A dinner at a restaurant lasts, what, two hours? Think of how much use we’ll get out of these. We’ll use them until they’re worn out and we need new ones.”

 

“Oh, God,” Ashlyn says, dropping her head into her hands as she laughs. “Good thing I worked extra shifts at the library while I’ve been injured.”

 

“That’s the spirit,” Ali says. “I’ll put it on my card and you can just Venmo me some money, okay? We’ll put your address in, though.”

 

~

 

The next few days, Ashlyn can’t stop thinking about their purchases. Even in class, she finds herself thinking about using the toys with Ali which often causes her to blush. When the box finally shows up on her doorstep a week after placing their order, she texts Ali immediately.

 

_Mail’s here._

 

Ali doesn’t respond but when she walks through the door just over a minute later, Ashlyn can’t help but laugh. “Jesus, did you teleport here or something?”

 

“No, dummy, I had the tracking info so I knew it would be here today. I was already on my way over.”

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes at her girlfriend. “So, what do you think we should do tonight? Watch movies down in the living room with my housemates?” she asks, eliciting a laugh from Ali.

 

“I think we should play with our new toys.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was a pretty packed chapter. 
> 
> what do you think of their little argument? do you agree with Ash that Ali should've consulted her first or did she overreact? Any predictions for Ali's time abroad? All I'll tell you right now is that it brings the angst ;) 
> 
> also, how about the last few scenes? that's some of my favorite banter in the whole story tbh


	26. Chapter 26

 

Spring arrives with a sudden burst of warmth. One week, the temperatures are hovering in the mid 50s and the next, they’re into the 70s. 

 

Both women work towards their individual goals, their moods almost as bright as the Carolina sunshine. Ashlyn is cleared to practice soccer again in mid-March, just days after participating in the annual Kappa Delta 5k with Ali and their friends. Though Ashlyn wants to get back to full game fitness immediately, her coaches decide to bring her back slowly to prevent further injury. When they email her the drills they have planned, she’s a little frustrated at how easy the drills seem. She’s even a little offended because if anyone should know what she's capable of, it’s her coaches. 

 

When she laces up her boots for the first times in six months, however, she feels more nervous than she expected. Every time she plants her left leg, she’s afraid she’s going to get injured again. As she eases into training, she’s thankful that her coaches are giving her the time to slowly get back into competitive shape. 

 

Ali stays in town that summer, working at the library and as a cashier at a local grocery store, saving as much money as possible for her upcoming semester in Germany. She’s enjoying the summer months with Ashlyn before they have to suffer through busy schedules, distance, and time zones. 

 

She’s just gotten off of a shift at the grocery store and returned to Ashlyn’s to make dinner together when she gets a surprising text. When the notification shows up on her lock screen, she double, triple checks to make sure she’s not seeing things. For the first time in months, Kyle has texted her. 

 

_ Hey, Al. mom and dad told me you’re staying in nc this summer. mind if i come for a visit? I’m visiting DC right now so maybe I can come down this weekend? _

 

Ali’s hands shake as she re-reads the message. Her eyes fill with tears, partially blocking her vision as she reads Kyle’s words. They’ve texted now and then the last few years but more often than not, it was Ali initiating contact. She hasn’t seen him in a little over two years, a few months before she graduated high school. 

 

“You okay?” Ashlyn asks from where she’s stirring their spaghetti noodles. 

 

“Kyle texted me,” Ali says. Her hands still shaking, she taps the screen of her phone so it doesn’t lock again. “Look.” She holds her phone out to Ashlyn but her hand is so unsteady that Ashlyn ends up taking it from her so she can read the message. 

 

“Holy shit,” Ashlyn says. “You gonna say yes?” 

 

“Of course I am. He’s always welcome with me; I just hope he actually shows.” 

 

“Well if he’s in DC that’s good, right? If he’s visiting your parents that’s probably a really good sign.”

 

Ali shrugs. “Yeah, you might be right. At least he’s not in Miami right now.”

 

She takes her phone back from Ashlyn and quickly types a response. 

 

_ You’re always welcome to visit, you know that. How are you doing? When did you go to DC? _

 

Kyle replies in seconds, which is unusual for him the last few years. Whenever Ali texted him, she would sometimes wait hours, even days before getting responses, if she got one at all. 

 

_ Last night. I’m doing well but I want to talk to you in person. Can I come down Friday? _

 

_ Of course.  _

 

Ali wanders to the living room to sit on the couch, making plans with Kyle while Ashlyn finishes dinner prep. Kyle has plans Friday morning in DC so they decide they’ll meet for dinner at the diner before heading back to the sorority house. He plans on staying until at least Monday which should give them ample time to catch up and for Ali to finally introduce him and Ashlyn. 

 

“I can’t believe he’s coming,” Ali says as they sit down to eat. “Oh, God, what if he flakes again?” 

 

“Did it sound like he might flake?” 

 

Ali shakes her head. He sounded more serious than ever and if he’s with their parents right now, she wouldn’t be surprised if they didn't drive him down themselves just to make sure he visits her. “No, he sounded really excited to see me, actually. When he’s flaked before he’s never seemed all that excited to be attending whatever he was supposed to attend. This was just different, I don’t know.” 

 

“Well that sounds promising,” Ashlyn says. “Did he say if he’s sober?” 

 

“No, he won’t tell me anything. And neither would my mom when I asked her about it. They both said he was gonna talk to me in person.”

 

“When will he get here?” 

 

“Friday evening. We’re gonna go to dinner. Is it bad that I’m really nervous to see him? It’s been so long.” 

 

“Not weird at all, baby. If it’ll help your nerves, I can go with you.” 

 

Ali smiles softly, twirling noodles around her fork. “I appreciate that but I think this is something I need to do alone. It’s not that I don’t want you there but it’s been so long since I’ve seen him that I want to be able to focus on him, you know? He plans on staying until Monday so you’ll definitely meet at some point. Maybe we’ll all go out to brunch on Saturday.” 

 

“Sounds great,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

~

 

Ali is nervous the rest of the week. Although Kyle sounded excited to visit, she’s learned before not to get her hopes up too much. She’s cautiously optimistic all week but even though she tries to brace herself for him to cancel as usual, she can’t help but make a mental list of all the things she wants to tell him. 

 

Every day, he texts Ali how much he can’t wait to see her, making her feel much more confident that he’s going to show. Better yet, he texts her on Thursday night, confirming their plans and then again on Friday afternoon as he starts the drive from DC to Chapel Hill and Ali finally lets herself get excited.

 

She makes Ashlyn come over as she gets ready, completely unsure of what to wear. 

 

“Al, you really don’t need to wear anything special. He’s your brother and aren’t you going to the diner?” 

 

“Yeah but I want to look nice. I haven’t seen him in over two years. Ugh, I know I’m being crazy but I can’t help it.”

 

On Ashlyn’s recommendation, Ali ends up wearing her black tank dress. It’s a muggy July night so the light material of the dress is perfect but it feels nicer than a tank top and shorts.

 

“How do I look?” Ali asks. 

 

“Beautiful as always,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Thanks, babe,” Ali says. She gives Ashlyn a quick kiss, both giddy and nervous all at the same time. “We’ll see you tomorrow, right?” 

 

“Yep. I’ll let you two have your fun tonight and I’ll see you for brunch. I’m gonna head back home now, okay? I love you.” 

 

“Love you too,” Ali grins. 

 

Ali arrives at the restaurant nearly fifteen minutes earlier than they’d agreed upon. She sits on the side of the booth that faces the door so she’ll be able to see Kyle as soon as he walks in. Every time the door opens, Ali looks up, hoping to see Kyle’s face. 

 

When he does finally come through the door, Ali jumps up and wakes him over to their table. She stays standing, grinning as she takes in the sight before her. He’s wearing a black cut off tank and black shorts but more importantly, he looks healthy. He’s more muscular than the last time Ali saw him and although he’s near tears, Ali can tell that his eyes are clear and not bloodshot or glassy like the last time they saw each other. 

 

“Miss me?” Kyle asks as he pulls Ali in for a bear hug. 

 

Ali doesn’t say anything as she starts crying in her brother’s embrace. 

 

“Don’t cry, please don’t cry,” Kyle says. 

 

“I’ve been so worried about you.” 

 

“I know and I’m so, so sorry. Here, let’s sit.” 

 

They sit across from one another in the booth, not bothering to look at their menus yet. Ali takes a napkin from the little dispenser and wipes her eyes, thankful that she thought ahead and wore waterproof mascara. “I’ve missed you so much.” 

 

“I’ve missed you too,” Kyle says. “It’s my fault, I know, but I’ve missed you so much.” 

 

“You look so good,” Ali says. “Seems like you’ve been working out; your arms are insane.” 

 

“Oh, these little things?” Kyle asks, playfully flexing. “I’ve been sober for five months now and working out has been a big part of that.”

 

“Five months? Oh my god, Kyle, that’s amazing. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting clean?” 

 

Kyle shrugs. “I didn’t want to let you down again. I, um, I went through some really shitty and terrifying stuff and I just knew that I had to change. I couldn’t keep going the way I was, you know? So I checked myself into rehab and when I finished that, I got a gym membership and a job cutting hair and I’ve been clean ever since.”

 

Part of Ali wants to ask what happened, what prompted him to get sober but the other part of her is terrified to know what he went through. Maybe later she’ll ask but for right now, she wants to focus on happier things. 

 

They pause their conversation as their waitress comes around to take their orders and when she’s gone, Kyle looks at Ali with a massive grin on his face. “So I’ve seen on your instagram that you have a girlfriend now. When did that happen?” 

 

Ali tells Kyle the entire story about how she and Ashlyn met and fell for one another, not sparing many details. Kyle interrupts countless times to make comments (he wouldn’t be Kyle if he didn’t) that have Ali crying in laughter. He teases her a little but mostly he simply expresses how happy he is for her and how excited he is to meet Ashlyn at brunch the next day. 

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy,” Kyle says. “I mean, you’re usually pretty happy but this is on a completely different level.”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Ashlyn is… she’s amazing. She’s so funny and sweet and attractive, God, is she attractive. I feel like the best version of myself with her.” 

 

“I hear you’re going to Germany for a semester. How’s that gonna work with Ashlyn?”

 

“We’re gonna do long distance,” Ali says. “It’s four months so it’s gonna be hard but we’re planning on FaceTime dates and lots of postcards.” 

 

“Do I get some of these postcards?” Kyle asks. 

 

“Of course,” Ali grins. “Though I probably won’t refer to you as ‘baby’ on yours.” 

 

“Somehow I think I’ll live,” Kyle laughs. 

 

They continue catching up and when Ali checks the time on her phone, she’s shocked to find that they’ve been at the diner for over two hours. She pays their bill, insisting that it’s her treat since Kyle drove all this way to see her. When she waits for their waitress to return with her card, she sends a quick text to Ashlyn, updating her on their dinner. She tells Ashlyn that Kyle has been sober for five months and that he’s healthy and doing well. 

 

Kyle follows behind Ali on the way to the sorority house and when they arrive, he looks at the big house in awe. “You live here?” 

 

“With forty other women, yes. Normally I would have you stay in the guestroom but my roommate Christen is up in New Jersey meeting her girlfriend’s family for the first time. Her girlfriend plays with Ashlyn. They’re actually housemates.” 

 

“Okay so you’re just like us gay men, huh? You all just find each other like magnets.” 

 

“That’s one thing I’ve found, yeah,” Ali laughs. “A lot of the girls in the sorority are straight but Christen and I met during rush freshman year and we really clicked. We didn’t know the other was into girls until we both started dating someone. So, yeah, like magnets. She met Tobin because I kept dragging her to soccer games and parties hosted by the team so it’s kind of cool because we can go on double dates and stuff.” 

 

“She won’t mind if I stay in her bed?” 

 

“Nope. I already asked her and she said it was fine.” 

 

Ali gives Kyle a thorough tour of the house. She shows him around the living room and the kitchen, as well as the guest bedroom and the mini-library and study space on the first floor. Since she lives on the second floor, she decides to save that for last and takes him up to the third floor. The third floor has the single bedrooms as well as a few triple bedrooms and a big bathroom for everyone on the floor to share. 

 

She then takes him down to the second level and swings open her door, allowing him to go in first. 

 

“You know, if you let me glance at every bedroom in the house, I would’ve been able to guess that this is yours. It’s so your style.”

 

“I get my design taste from Mom, obviously,” Ali laughs.  

 

“Clearly,” Kyle says. He tosses his duffel bag on what must be Christen’s bed, given the giant ‘C’ hanging above it. “So what happens when you’re in Germany? Are you moving out soon?” 

 

Ali shakes her head as she sits on her bed and faces Kyle on Christen’s bed. “No, I actually really lucked out. One of our sorority sisters graduates in December. She’s in an apartment right now but since she only has a semester left, she’s gonna sublet from me.”

“So what are you looking forward to the most about going to Germany?” 

 

Ali thinks for a moment. “Probably experiencing a different culture. I’ll have weekends free to explore and go to other countries so my friend Sienna and I are thinking about going to Paris for sure and probably London, Belgium, Switzerland, and the Netherlands. I’m sure we’ll find other places we want to go while we’re there.” 

 

“That sounds awesome, Al, I’m so excited for you.”

 

“Yeah, I wish I could say that Ashlyn feels the same way,” Ali says. She pulls her pillow onto her lap and runs her pointer finger along the seam. “I mean, she’s happy for me but I think she’s still sad that I’m gonna miss her birthday and our anniversary. She was kind of upset at first because I didn’t tell her about the trip until after it was official and I think she never really got over that annoyance. Every time it comes up she’s kinda weird about it.”

 

“Do you think she might just be weird because she’s gonna miss you? That’s a long time to spend apart so it could be that,” Kyle says. 

 

Ali shrugs. “Yeah, maybe. I don’t know. Anyway, tell me more about what you’ve been up to.”

 

No matter the physical and emotional distance between them for the last few years, they fall back into their old ways easily. They talk about anything and everything, shedding tears when Kyle tells the full story of why he decided to get sober and laughing until their stomachs hurt as Ali tells stories about her time in college so far. They talk and laugh and share long neglected inside jokes, cracking themselves up over things other people probably wouldn’t understand.

 

It feels as if no time has passed, like they’re kids again. 

 

All of the anger, sadness, confusion, and hurt Ali has felt over the last few years melts away and by the time they fall asleep at four in the morning, all of it feels like a distant memory. 

 

~

 

They meet Ashlyn for brunch the next morning and as Ali introduces her two favorite people, she feels happier than she can ever remember. 

 

“Ash, this is Kyle. Kyle, this is Ash,” Ali says. 

 

“Nice to finally meet you,” Ashlyn says. She moves to shake Kyle’s hand but that’s apparently not good enough for him so he pulls her into a hug instead. 

 

“Al wouldn’t stop talking about you last night,” Kyle says as they all sit down. “She’s right that you’re even more beautiful in person.” 

 

“Please, I’ve got nothing on her,” Ashlyn grins. She takes Ali’s hand into her lap, her thumb fiddling with Ali’s ever present gemstone stack rings. 

 

“Ugh, you guys are disgusting.” 

 

Ashlyn shares a smile with Ali as they both shrug their shoulders. “That’s what all our friends say,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali watches and listens as her two favorite people in the world get to know one another. Both Ashlyn and Kyle are a little reserved at first, as if they’re unsure of how much of their personalities to show but as they settle in, they both start acting more like themselves. They have a long discussion about tattoos, both planning sleeves for themselves. 

 

“I knew you two would love each other,” Ali says. “It makes me so happy.” 

 

“Good, I’m glad,” Ashlyn says. “So what did you two do last night?” 

 

Ali and Kyle launch into a description of their night—or, at least, that’s what Ashlyn thinks it is. She’s never really had a hard time understanding Ali’s mumble before but now that Ali is reunited with her brother, it’s almost unintelligible. Ashlyn catches about half of what they say but it’s no matter to her because she loves seeing Ali this happy. 

 

Ashlyn tries to commit these moments to memory before Ali leaves for Europe. She commits to the feeling of Ali sitting beside her, holding her hand under the table to memory, burns the carefree way Ali laughs when one of them says something funny into her brain, captures Ali’s nose crinkling grin. 

 

In just over a month, Ali will fly to Germany for her semester abroad. Ashlyn is incredibly proud of her, of course, but it’s a little weird to think about what she’ll do without Ali around. She doesn't know her college experience without Ali and although Ali will still be around via text and FaceTime, it’s definitely not the same. Even when Ali sleeps at the sorority house, Ashlyn’s bed feels far too empty without her in it. She can only imagine what it’ll feel like with Ali gone for four months. 

 

Ali deserves it, though, and in the grand scheme of things, four months is nothing. So Ashlyn commits these moments (as well as other, more intimate moments) to memory so she can think back to them when she misses Ali the most. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a happier chapter today before they start long distance. Ali leaves for germany next chapter so get your tissues ready for their goodbye scene ;)
> 
> as always, let me know your thoughts and i'll try to get the next chapter up on tuesday


	27. Chapter 27

  


August is filled with last minute errands before Germany. Ashlyn accompanies Ali on trips to the mall and spends nearly every free moment at the sorority house as Ali packs, realizes she has too much stuff, unpacks, and packs again.

 

“You know you’re gonna buy stuff there,” Ashlyn says. She’s sitting on Ali’s bed as Ali sits on the floor and tries to solve the puzzle that is packing for four months in two suitcases and a carry on. “Honestly, you could leave the second suitcase empty so you can buy clothes there and have room to bring them home.”

 

“Well at one of our meetings they had a few students who have done this before and one of them said to just buy another suitcase there to bring home souvenirs and whatever else we buy. It doesn’t help that I’ll be there fall and part of winter because I have to bring some heavier clothes.”

 

“I still think you can get rid of some things, though. More room to bring back stuff for your awesome girlfriend,” Ashlyn says. “You know all my sizes and what kind of jewelry and shoes I like, right?”

 

“Of course,” Ali says. “Don’t worry, you’ll get plenty of stuff. I have to bring you home presents for your birthday, our anniversary, and I’ll pick something out for Christmas too. I get home Christmas Eve so I definitely won’t have time to shop here.”

 

“Ugh, don’t remind me that I won’t be able to see you for that long. When do you think you’ll come back to campus again?”

 

Ali shrugs as she spreads out her pile of shirts again and studies them to decide which ones to eliminate. “I’ll probably want a few days in DC with my family, especially since Kyle will be there for Christmas. I’ll probably drive back down here the 29th but obviously that could change.”

 

“Okay, cool, I’ll make sure I fly back from Florida by then. Have I told you how much I’m gonna miss you?”

 

“Hmm, maybe once or twice,” Ali says. “But do you know what’s even better than telling me how much you’ll miss me?”

 

“What’s that?” Ashlyn asks, though she knows where Ali is going with this, even just based on the smirk on her face.

 

“If you show me.”

 

~

 

Three days before Ali is set to leave, Ashlyn drives with her to DC. Since Ali needs to leave her car at home, Deb and Ken purchased Ashlyn a return flight to North Carolina. They say it’s a thank you for driving with Ali but both women know it’s because Ali’s parents understand how important it is to them to spend their last few days together and they don’t want to make Ashlyn pay for the flight herself.

 

Saying goodbye to Ashlyn is the part Ali dreads the most. She’s been living away from her parents for two years now so while it will be difficult to say goodbye to them too, it’s not the same. She’s used to being away from them and she knows that calls and video chats will be enough until she returns home.

 

It’s different with Ashlyn.

 

They’ve never been apart for that long and she’ll miss the physical parts of their relationship. She’ll miss the sex, obviously, but she’ll also miss late night and early morning cuddles and staying in bed all day when they don’t have any obligations. She’ll miss Ashlyn playing with her hair and she’ll miss tickling Ashlyn’s arm, gently running her fingers over her skin.

 

The night before she leaves, they double check that her door is locked before quietly making love for nearly two hours. By the time they fall asleep, they’re both far too exhausted to get dressed but neither minds sleeping naked together for the last time until late December.

 

Ali wakes first in the morning, too anxious about her impending flight to sleep any longer. She presses gentle kisses to Ashlyn’s freckled shoulder, both wanting Ashlyn to wake up so they can savor their last private moments together and wanting Ashlyn to keep sleeping so she can stare at her face a little longer.

 

As Ashlyn’s eyes flutter open, Ali kisses her on the lips, causing Ashlyn to close her eyes again. “Morning,” Ali says.

 

“Morning, baby.”

 

“Tell me you’re gonna miss me.”

 

“I’m gonna miss you,” Ashlyn laughs. “But you’re gonna have so much fun and I can’t wait to hear all about it, okay?”

 

“You’re gonna win another title while I’m gone, right?”

 

“I hope so but then who will I kiss after the final?” Ashlyn teases.

 

“Uh, you better not be kissing anyone else,” Ali laughs. “But just in case you get any ideas, I left you some good hickies last night.”

 

“I know, you were marking your territory,” Ashlyn says. She shifts a little and removes the blankets covering their bodies to inspect the hickies Ali left on her chest and in between her thighs. “God, Al, these things are so dark they’ll probably still be there when you get back.”

 

“I hope so,” Ali grins. She puts a hand on Ashlyn’s thigh, patting gently as she pulls her in for another kiss. When they part, Ali rests her forehead against Ashlyn’s, completely breathless as she comes back down to earth. “I hate to say it but we should probably get up; my dad should be making breakfast.”

 

Ashlyn hums as she pulls Ali into her arms, holding her tight. “Five more minutes.” She closes her eyes and relishes the feeling of Ali’s skin on hers. She breathes in the scent of Ali’s shampoo, the same shampoo she made Ali leave at school so she can use it when she misses Ali the most. “I can’t believe it’s gonna be four months before we get to wake up together again.”

 

“I know. But we’ll be okay because we’ll text a lot and we’ll talk on the phone and have virtual dates. We’ll probably get really good at dirty talk.”

 

“Oh my god,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

“Am I wrong? It’s all we’ll have. Well, that and the vibrators we got. We’ll get creative.”

 

“Okay, well maybe I’m looking forward to that,” Ashlyn says.

 

“And just think of the amazing sex we’ll have when I get back home.”

 

“I’ll be counting down the minutes.”

 

They stay curled up in bed until they absolutely have to get up but even then, they take their time getting dressed.

 

As promised, Ken has breakfast of eggs, french toast, and bacon waiting when they come downstairs. They all sit at the kitchen table together as the eat, discussing Ali’s trip and the things she hopes to do and see while in Europe. The morning passes much too quickly and before they know it, they’re on the way to the airport.

 

Ashlyn sits in the backseat with Ali, holding her hand the entire way. When they arrive at the airport, Ashlyn helps Ken unload Ali’s big suitcases and her own smaller one from the trunk while Ali says goodbye to Deb.

 

“Be careful, honey. I know you’re responsible but you never know in a different country. Don’t go around by yourself.”

 

“I know, Mom.”

 

“And make sure you call and check in. We’ll just want to know that you’re okay.”

 

“I will.”

 

Deb pulls Ali into a hug and kisses the top of her daughter’s head. “Love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

Ashlyn lifts each of the suitcases one by one onto the curb while Ken takes his turn saying goodbye. He too hugs Ali and while Ashlyn and Deb wait, Deb comes over to Ashlyn and hugs her as well. “Thank you for driving up with her.”

 

“Thanks for letting me intrude on your family time the last few days.”

 

“Not an intrusion at all, dear, you’re welcome anytime. Alex certainly loves having you here.”

 

“Well that’s good because I love being here. Thanks for everything.”

 

“Oh, don’t let her forget to take the motion sickness pill. She gets a little motion sick on flights. Make sure she takes it before she boards. I know I gave it to her but if she forgot to pack it, make sure she buys the less drowsy kind.”

 

Ashlyn chuckles as Deb’s overprotective nature. She briefly wonders if Ali will be the same way if they ever have kids and the thought makes her smile. “I won’t let her forget, promise.”

 

“Thank you. Have a safe flight yourself, okay? Be good at school without Ali around.”

 

“I will, Mom,” Ashlyn teases. “Not much trouble I can get into during soccer season and I’m sure I’ll spend most of my free time talking to Ali anyway. Don’t worry.”

 

“Oh, that reminds me, you can always text me when you have a game. We’ll tune in if we’re able.”

 

“Sounds good,” Ashlyn grins. She quickly hugs Deb again, finding that Ali is ready with each hand on one of her suitcases, her carryon left for Ashlyn to help with. “Ready?”

 

Ali nods, choking back tears. She hugs her mom one more time while Ashlyn hugs Ken, thanking him for letting her stay with them the last few days. Ali tries to compose herself as best as she can, taking a deep breath as she and Ashlyn walk into the airport together.

 

They’re both already checked in for their respective flights but Ali has to drop her suitcases off so they get in line for Ali’s airline.

 

“You okay?” Ashlyn asks.

 

Ali shrugs as she pushes her suitcase handles down and pulls them up again, doing anything she can to keep herself busy. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m excited to go but I’m not excited to leave, if that makes sense.”

 

“Makes perfect sense. It’s only four months, it’ll be okay.”

 

When they get to the front of the line, they lift each of Ali’s checked bags onto the scale, Ali breathing a sigh of relief that neither is overweight and she won’t incur an additional fee. She couldn’t have cut it any closer, though, so she knows she’ll have to go through with her plan of purchasing a third suitcase in Germany to bring home souvenirs. When they’re done at the counter, they each drag their carryons over to security screening where they wait in an even longer line.

 

“Thanks for coming with me,” Ali says. “I’m sure you had better things to do than hang out in DC for a few days.”

 

“I had other things I could’ve done, yes, but none of them more important than spending time with you.”

 

Ali smiles as she pulls Ashlyn in for a hug, relishing the feeling of being wrapped in her girlfriend’s comforting embrace. They only part when the line moves and they have to move forward. Ali gently pushes her carryon forward with her foot as she checks her phone while Ashlyn uses the handle to pull her case alongside her.

 

“When does your flight leave again?” Ali asks.

 

“Uh, about an hour and a half after yours. Not too bad. I’ll probably end up taking a nap at my gate or something since someone kept me up all night,” Ashlyn says, eliciting a laugh from Ali.

 

“And you loved every second of it. You’re gonna miss me keeping you up all night.”

 

Ashlyn hums and nods her head in agreement. “I’m sure I’ll be keeping you up all night during our FaceTime dates.”

 

“That or we’ll have to plan on them being at, like, two in the afternoon here. That’ll be eight at night for me.”

 

“Wow, time zones are the worst,” Ashlyn groans.

 

Ali shrugs, smirking as she rubs her hand on Ashlyn’s back. “I’m gonna send you so many good morning texts for you to wake up to.”

 

“Yeah?” Ashlyn asks, grinning at the thought. If she can’t wake up next to Ali for the next four month, good morning texts are the next best thing. The little things are going to become so important in their relationship while Ali is gone and Ashlyn tries to find the silver lining in having the time to cultivate those parts of their relationship even further.

 

Neither woman has any problem going through security and once they’re through and put their shoes back on, they look at the giant electronic boards to find Ali’s gate. Ashlyn’s gate hasn’t yet been assigned but it’s no matter because she’s not going there until Ali leaves anyway.

 

“Of course it’s at the end of the universe,” Ali grumbles when she finally locates her gate number. It’s at the far end of the airport from where they went through security so they have a long walk ahead of them.

 

“Less time to sit nervously at your gate,” Ashlyn shrugs. They start making their way in the direction of Ali’s gate. Ali pulls her suitcase with her right hand so Ashlyn switches her case to her left hand and laces their fingers together as they walk. They weave their way through the crowded airport together, the crowds thinning out the closer they get to Ali’s gate.

 

When they near Ali’s gate, Ali pulls Ashlyn towards one of the convenience stores. “I need to get water, magazines, and snacks for the flight,” she explains. “Want to get lunch before we go to my gate?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Ashlyn gets two liter size bottles of water and waits patiently as Ali picks out her snacks and magazines, even picking up a book she’s been meaning to buy. When they’re done, they decide to get &pizza, which Ashlyn has never had before. They create their own pizza combinations and find a small table for themselves.

 

As they eat, Ali tries to push their impending goodbye out of her head. They have just about an hour left together and she dreads their goodbye with each passing minute. She’s quiet as they eat, only giving a weak chuckle when Ashlyn says something that would normally make her laugh.

 

“What’s on your mind?” Ashlyn asks, though she knows the answer. She knows there’s only one thing on either of their minds. While Ali turned inward with her feelings, Ashlyn tried to cover hers up with jokes.

 

“I’m gonna miss you,” Ali says. Tears sting her eyes and she takes a clean napkin to wipe them away.

 

“I’ll miss you more,” Ashlyn replies. She takes Ali’s hand across the table, eyes landing on the bracelet that matches her own. “See these?” she says, pointing to their bracelets. “What did you tell me when you first gave me mine?”

 

“That it’s like we’re always together.”

 

“Right, it’s like you always have me with you and I always have you with me. Every time I look at this bracelet, I remember our first date but I think for the next few months, it’ll remind me just how quickly we’ll be back on campus together.”

 

“It’ll be worth the wait, right?”

 

“Always, baby.”

 

When they’re done eating, they go to Ali’s gate together. Many of the seats are already taken but they do manage to find two together, where they sit and wait. Ashlyn wraps an arm around Ali and Ali rests her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder, both wishing they could pause time for a little bit.

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says, closing her eyes as she kisses the top of Ali’s head. Her lips linger for a moment as she wills herself not to cry. Outside the window, Ali’s plane is already at the gate and a steady stream of passengers comes through the door by the desk, signaling that they have a about half an hour left until Ali’s flight boards.

 

“Love you more,” Ali says. “Did I tell you I packed your little ‘love you more’ painting from our anniversary? I want to put it in my room over there.”

 

“I could’ve made you a travel sized one,” Ashlyn laughs. “Instead of you taking the big one.”

 

“No, I like that one. I wrapped it up so it would be safe.”

 

“You’re cute,” Ashlyn says. She kisses the top of Ali’s head again but that’s not enough for her girlfriend who tilts her head up and puckers for a real kiss.

 

“Mmm, I’m gonna give you a million kisses when I get back,” Ali says.

 

“I’m already counting down the days.”

 

They go silent again, Ali putting her head back onto Ashlyn’s shoulder. She puts a hand on Ashlyn’s thigh, squeezing gently every so often.

 

The first boarding announcement comes too soon. When they hear it, they both stand, although Ali isn’t in the first boarding group. They wheel their suitcases over to a corner, attempting to get as much privacy as possible as they say goodbye.

 

Ashlyn is the first to start crying which causes Ali to start too. “Baby, don’t cry,” Ali coos, looping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck. Ashlyn’s hands find her waist and they stand together in each other’s arms.

 

“Can’t help it,” Ashlyn says. She sways a little with Ali in her arms, trying to control her emotions. It’s no use, though, and her body shakes a little as she cries.

 

Ali takes Ashlyn’s face in her hands, looking into her eyes. She wants to console her but she’s crying too and she knows there’s nothing she can say to make this easier.

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn laughs, trying to wipe her tears away. “I’m just gonna miss you a lot.”

 

“I’m gonna miss you too. We’ll be okay.”

 

Ashlyn nods. She pulls Ali in for a slow, lazy kiss, neither caring that they’re in the middle of a crowded airport. When they part, Ashlyn flashes a soft smile. “Countdown to December 29th starts now.”

 

“Can’t wait.”

 

The announcement for Ali’s boarding group comes over the speaker. She glances over her shoulder at the line, figuring they have another minute or two before she absolutely has to get in line. She nuzzles into Ashlyn’s chest, tears soaking through Ashlyn’s shirt. “I should go.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I love you,” Ali says.

 

“I love you more,” Ashlyn says. She kisses Ali again, taking all of her strength to pull away from her girlfriend. “Have fun.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Text me when you land.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Tell me you love me.”

 

“I love you,” Ali laughs. “Usually that’s my line.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “I may have learned a trick or two from you. Okay, I love you, now go board your plane.”

 

Ali controls her emotions as she kisses Ashlyn again and starts making her way to the front. The gate agent checks her passport and scans her ticket before sending her on her way. Just before Ali enters the hallway that will take her to her plane, she glances back at Ashlyn, waving and blowing a kiss.

 

Ali has an aisle seat. Her row mates are already seated when she boards so she drops her travel pillow onto her seat and lifts her carry on into the overhead compartment. As she sits, she digs through her purse for her phone, headphones, and eye shade. She puts her headphones on, selecting one of the playlists she and Ashlyn made together and pulls the eyeshade over her eyes.

 

She cries for at least the first hour of her flight, eyeshade covering her eyes as she tries to take a nap. By the time the flight attendants come around with drinks, she’s feeling a little better as she asks for a coke. She starts thinking of all she’ll get to do and experience during this adventure of a lifetime, focusing on the happy things instead of how much she’ll miss Ashlyn, her family, and home.

 

~

 

As soon as Ali is gone, Ashlyn lets out a deep sigh. She takes her carry on and finds the nearest flight status board, finding that her flight will leave from the exact opposite end of the terminal. “Of course,” she sighs. She hardly registers anything as she weaves her way through the airport, her thoughts with Ali as the distance between them grows by the second. When she finally reaches her own gate, she sits in a corner seat by the large windows and drops her head into her hands. She takes a shaky breath, still trying to calm herself down.

 

She knows Ali won’t see it until she lands but just to give herself something to do, she pulls out her phone and fires off a text.

 

_Miss you already. Can’t wait until you get home._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're ready for this ride ;)
> 
> this weekend and next week will obviously be pretty busy with family stuff but i'm gonna try to find time to update. Mostl likely thursday and saturday but we'll see.


	28. Chapter 28

  
  


Germany is as beautiful as Ali imagined. She’s rooming with Sienna on the trip and when she arrives at their room, Sienna is already inside. 

 

“I picked this bed, I hope that’s okay,” Sienna says, gesturing to the bed closest to the window. 

 

“That’s fine,” Ali shrugs. She wheels her suitcases near the bed Sienna left for her, unstrapping her carry on from where it’s attached to the front of one of her checked bags. She’s jetlagged beyond belief but she heard from former study abroad students that unpacking is the best way to feel at home so she wants to get started right away. She lifts one of her large suitcases onto the bed, unzips it, and starts unpacking her belongings. Right on top of everything is the canvas from Ashlyn, protectively wrapped in grocery bags. 

 

“What’s that?” Sienna asks as Ali unwraps the canvas. 

 

“My girlfriend made this for our anniversary last December,” Ali explains. She turns the painting so Sienna can see before looking around her side of the room to figure out where to put it. 

 

“Aw, that’s cute. What’s her name again? Ashley?” 

 

“Ashlyn,” Ali corrects. She tries placing the canvas a few different places before deciding to prop it against the wall on top of her dresser which is right across from her bed. It’s a prominent place and Ali smiles as she thinks about looking at it every time she’s in bed. Next, she starts unpacking her clothes, organizing her drawers just the way she does at home: bras and panties in the top drawer, t-shirts in the second, and pants in the bottom drawer. At the bottom of the first suitcase is a UNC soccer hoodie she stole from Ashlyn’s room her last night in Chapel Hill. She nearly hangs it in the wardrobe next to her dresser along with the rest of her sweaters, sweatshirts, dresses, and outerwear but thinks better of it and tosses the hoodie onto her bed. 

 

“Ugh, okay, you are way too organized,” Sienna says from where she’s lying in her bed. “I was gonna put off unpacking until tomorrow but watching you makes me feel bad for not being productive.” 

 

“Sorry,” Ali laughs. “You’ll be thankful tomorrow if you do it today.” 

 

Sienna groans as she rolls out of bed and pulls her own suitcase from where it was tucked away in a corner. “Such a good influence.” 

 

It takes just over half an hour for Ali to unpack all three of her bags, though she spends a little more time arranging things the way she likes. Just like at home, she arranges her hanging clothes by color, making a mini-rainbow. 

 

“Are you kidding?” Sienna laughs. 

 

“I know, I know. Ash makes fun of me for it too but it’s so much easier to find what I’m looking for and it looks pretty, so.” 

 

“Hey, whatever works,” Sienna says. “I’m lucky if my clothes make it onto hangers let alone putting them in a certain order.” 

 

With all of her bags unpacked, Ali flops down onto her bed. She’s lying atop Ashlyn’s sweatshirt but she’s too tired to move. “Can you believe we’re in Germany? Like, it’s real, we’re really here.” 

 

“No, I can’t believe it. I think it’s gonna take a while for it to sink in. Hey, what do you think we take a nap and then go find somewhere to get dinner? I got numbers from a few other people in the program we can meet up with.” 

 

“Sounds perfect,” Ali says. She closes her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately. 

 

~

 

They end up getting dinner with three others from the program. They walk around the area near their dorms for a little bit, not straying too far from the immediate area as they still learn their way around. They settle on a place just down the street from their building, their moods lively as they use their limited German to try to read their menus. Figuring she has time to try traditionally German dishes, Ali ends up ordering a steak and mashed potatoes, something familiar as she eases into this new culture. Everyone orders a beer and when their drinks arrive, Ali’s eyes go wide at how big the glasses are. 

 

“Uh, that’s way bigger than a pint,” Ali laughs. 

 

“Yeah, welcome to Germany,” Tyler says. He raises his glass, prompting everyone else at the table to do the same. “Prost.”

 

“Prost,” everyone repeats in unison, clinking their glasses together. 

 

Dinner is a lively affair as their small group gets to know one another better. The guys, Tyler and Dylan somehow already have funny stories of their time in Germany so far, though they’ve only been in the country for about four hours. Brooke, meanwhile, had what sounds to be the most frustrating travel experience. 

 

They trade anecdotes about themselves, discuss the types of things they have planned while in Germany, and compare class schedules. Ali learns that she has two classes with Sienna, one with both Brooke and Tyler, and none with Dylan. 

 

The more they drink, the more lively and colorful their conversation becomes. The food and beer are good but the company is better and more than once, Ali laughs so hard her stomach hurts. When they finally return to their building, Ali checks her phone, seeing that she has a missed call and a few miss texts from Ashlyn. 

 

_ Hey, just wanted to check in. How’s your room? Do you like everything so far?  _

 

Another text followed an hour later. 

 

_ Must be really jetlagged ;) miss you _

 

Ali stumbles into their room after Sienna, giggling as she trips over her own feet because she was so focused on reading Ashlyn’s text. 

 

“Easy,” Sienna laughs. She didn’t drink as much as Ali so she helps steady her roommate until Ali lies down in bed. 

 

“I’m not that drunk, I promise,” Ali says. “I was looking at my phone.” She looks down at her screen again, calling Ashlyn on FaceTime. 

 

“There’s my world traveler,” Ashlyn greets. “How do you like it so far?” 

 

“Sooo fun,” Ali says. “We just had dinner and I drank the biggest beers of my life. Look, there’s Sienna.” Ali angles her phone so Ashlyn can see Sienna rummaging through her dresser for pajamas. 

 

“Hey,” Sienna laughs. “Is she always like this when she’s drunk?” 

 

“Yes, you better get used to it. She’s usually either overly giggly and way more, uh, let’s say brazen but you won’t have to worry about that one.” 

 

“You miss it,” Ali says, pouting a little as she flips to the front camera again. 

 

“I do. I miss you a lot.” 

 

“I miss you too, baby. I wish you were here with me.” 

 

“Me too,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali lets out a massive yawn, eyes closing tightly as she also stretches her body. It’s been a long two days of traveling and getting settled and she can’t remember the last time she was this tired. Other than a four hour nap on the plane and another three hour one before dinner, she hasn’t slept at all and it’s finally catching up to her.

 

“I’ll let you go,” Ashlyn says. “Get some sleep, okay? We’ll talk later.” 

 

“Night, I love you,” Ali mumbles in the way she does when she’s really tired. 

 

Ashlyn smiles softly at her girlfriend, getting a sleepy smile in return. “Love you more.” 

 

Ashlyn ends the call and goes back downstairs to finish watching a movie with Whitney. She rejoins Whitney on the couch, surprising her by cuddling against her side. 

 

“Someone misses her girlfriend,” Whitney teases. 

 

“You have no idea. You know I’m a physically affectionate person so it’s kind of hard for me.”

 

“And you need a cuddle buddy until she gets back?” Whitney guesses. 

 

Ashlyn nods. 

 

“I guess I can help you out,” Whitney says. “Just as long as I don’t have to kiss you like Ali does and as long as we keep our clothes on.”  

 

“Deal,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Kelley is gonna give you so much shit for this; you know that, right?” 

 

“Oh, I know but I don’t really care. We’ll see how she would like it if her girlfriend of almost two years did a semester abroad.” 

 

“Please, like Kel would date someone that long,” Whitney says, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn.

 

Ashlyn sleeps in Whitney’s bed that night, thankful that she has such a good friend in Whitney. She knows the next four months will be hard and she’ll miss Ali more every day but at least she has so many wonderful friends and teammates to turn to. If nothing else, Ali’s absence will allow her to spend more time with her friends and cultivate those relationships.

 

~

 

Long distance is a big adjustment. 

 

It always is, Ali figures, but this is both of their first time navigating it so it takes a little trial and error to find what works and what doesn’t work. Ali quickly finds that sending Ashlyn good morning texts for her to wake up to is always a good idea, something that’s all but guaranteed to make Ashlyn smile. On the flip side, Ashlyn often texts Ali goodnight, though she doesn’t go to bed for another six or so hours after she sends it. 

 

Finding time to FaceTime is a different story. 

 

With Frankfurt being six hours ahead of North Carolina, times that are convenient for Ali are often inconvenient for Ashlyn and vice versa. When Ali gets out of class in the afternoon, Ashlyn is sometimes just starting her day as she heads to class and soccer practice. It’s more than a little frustrating but neither woman went into this thinking it would be easy so they coordinate their schedules as best as they can, even if they can only talk for ten minutes at a time. 

 

One evening, Ali skips going out with her friends to have a FaceTime date with Ashlyn. It’s been over a week since they were able to talk for very long and since Sienna will be out of the room, Ali figures this would be their best chance to have a virtual date to remember. 

 

She wears just Ashlyn’s sweatshirt over a black cotton thong, smirking as she stretches her bare legs out in front of her. With her laptop on her lap, she knows Ashlyn will only be able to see the sweatshirt at first and she can’t wait to surprise her with the rest of her outfit (or lack thereof). 

 

“Hi, babe,” Ali greets with a smile. “How was your day?” 

 

“Uh, it’s okay. It’s better now that I’m talking to you.” Ashlyn sets her own laptop on her bed and sits with her legs crisscrossed. “I knew I was missing that sweatshirt.” 

 

“I needed something that smells like you,” Ali shrugs. 

 

“As if you haven’t already stolen enough of my clothes.” 

 

“I have but those ones are mine now because I’ve worn and washed them so many times. This one still feels like yours.” 

 

“Whatever you say, babe,” Ashlyn says. “It looks cute on you.” 

 

“Everything looks cute on me,” Ali teases. 

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes dramatically. “You’re supposed to let me say that.” 

 

“I just saved you the trouble,” Ali shrugs. Now three and a half weeks into her program, some of the excitement has worn off and she’s been a little homesick the last few days. It comes in waves and when she’s busy, she doesn’t think about it much. But in her bed at night, her mind immediately goes to how much she misses home. Talking to Ashlyn, seeing her face, has her feeling better already. “I miss you.” 

 

“I miss you too. I’ve actually been sleeping in bed with Whitney some nights; you know how much I hate being alone. I think I’m gonna bug Kelley for cuddles tonight so I can stop torturing Whit.” 

 

Ali frowns, feeling a little guilty that she’s so far away. When she’s at school and they can see each other whenever they want, Ashlyn prefers to spend the night together more often than not so this is a big change for both of them. “I’m sorry, babe, I promise I’ll give you so many cuddles when I get home.”

 

“I can’t wait,” Ashlyn grins. “Anyway, so have you done anything cool recently?”

 

“More exploring Frankfurt,” Ali says. “I found a little coffee shop I really like and I’m getting used to the food. Oh, I think we’re going to Paris this weekend.”

 

“Ohh, that sounds awesome. Who’s going?” 

 

“Me, Sienna, Tyler, Dylan, and Brooke. They’re the ones I told you I hung out with the first night. We’ve kind of formed a little group since then so it’s nice to have people to do these things with. We’re all gonna somehow cram into a hotel room so we don’t have to pay for two. We figure we’ll hardly be in the room anyway, you know? Someone will have to sleep on the floor this weekend and then the next time we go somewhere we’ll switch.”

 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Ashlyn says. “God, Paris sounds awesome.” 

 

“Not sure it can live up to its nickname the city of love without you here with me.” 

 

“No, probably not,” Ashlyn laughs. “But one day we’ll get to go to Europe together so you better start making lists of the places we should go. You’ll be my tour guide.” 

 

“I already have a list,” Ali says. 

 

Ashlyn tilts her head, pursing her lips in amusement. “No you don’t,” she exclaims. 

 

“I do.” Ali grabs her phone from her nightstand and opens her notes app. Ever since she arrived, she’s been making notes of her favorite places, partially to be able to find them again during this trip and partly to remember them for when and if she and Ashlyn get to visit Europe together. “Look.” She holds her phone up in front of her laptop so Ashlyn can see the list. It’s all Frankfurt places so far but soon, she’ll make notes of her favorite places in Paris. 

 

“You’re something else,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Hey, you’ll be thankful for my lists when we plan a trip when we’re older.” 

 

Ashlyn squints as she tries to read the list, seeing headings in bold followed by bullet points. “Are there categories?” she asks, barely containing a laugh. 

 

“Of course there are categories,” Ali says, putting her phone down quickly. “What if I was trying to find a cool restaurant I wanted to take you to and it was all out of order?” 

 

“Uh, you’d scroll through the list until you found it.” 

 

“But this is so much easier,” Ali says. 

 

“Okay, I’m gonna trust you on this,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“So how has practice been going? I saw you guys won your first three games. How does your knee feel?” 

 

“My knee feels good. I’m starting to worry about it less and less so hopefully I should be able to get back out there within another week or two. You were here after my first few practices so you know how worried I was that I would get hurt again but now it hardly crosses my mind. I feel ready and I think my coaches can see it too.”

 

“That’s amazing, baby, I’m so proud of you. Let me know when you’ll be back out there and I’ll watch your game if there’s a stream.” 

 

“You don’t have to do that, I know you’re busy.” 

 

“I want to. I need to see my girl back out there.” 

 

Ashlyn grins, her dimple showing as Ali takes a drink of water. Though they planned on having sexy FaceTime dates before Ali left, they haven’t yet been able to find the time with their conflicting schedules. They have time tonight and now that they’re caught up on everything, Ali is more than ready to continue their night. “Oh, I gotta show you something,” she exclaims. She doesn’t really have anything to show her, other than the fact that she’s only wearing a thong with the sweatshirt but she figures she can act like she was going to show Ashlyn the pair of shoes she bought yesterday. 

 

Ali holds her laptop in her hands as she stands, smirking at an unsuspecting Ashlyn. She sets her laptop down on the bed, angling it so Ashlyn will have a perfect view of her ass when she bends down to grab the shoes from her wardrobe. 

 

“Al, oh my god,” Ashlyn groans as Ali walks away from her computer. Ali’s long, toned legs are on full display and she can see Ali’s black thong peeking out from underneath the sweatshirt—her sweatshirt. It’s one of the hottest things she’s ever seen and after nearly four weeks apart, she can’t help but let out a whine. Eyes glued to the screen, she watches as Ali bends down to retrieve something from her closet, her ass on full display. 

 

“Look,” Ali says, turning around and showing Ashlyn the shoes. When she sees Ashlyn’s expression, she can’t help but laugh. Even through a somewhat grainy FaceTime connection, she’s pretty sure she sees drool at the corner of Ashlyn’s mouth. 

 

“Oh, I’m looking,” Ashlyn says. “Have you not been wearing pants this entire time?” 

 

“Nope,” Ali grins. “Figured it would be easier than taking them off later, you know?” 

 

“Turn around again.” 

 

Ali does as she’s been told. She takes the hem of the sweatshirt in her hands, hiking it up slightly as she sways her hips. 

 

“Baaaaaby,” Ashlyn whines. “Take the shirt off.” 

 

Ali slowly inches the sweatshirt up her body, swaying her hips the entire time. When the shirt is halfway up her body, she turns to face the camera. She continues inching the sweatshirt up until her bare breasts are exposed to Ashlyn, who sucks in a shallow breath. 

 

“Fuck, Al,” Ashlyn groans. She doesn’t move a muscle, not even blinking, as Ali finally pulls the sweatshirt over her head and discards it on the floor. 

 

“Like what you see, baby?” Ali smirks. 

 

“I love what I see,” Ashlyn replies. She rolls over a little, reaching into her nightstand for her vibrator. “Play with your nipples for me.” 

 

“Like this?” Ali asks, voice low and sweet. She palms her breasts, moving her hands in small circles to stimulate her nipples. 

 

“Fuck, baby, I miss you so much. I wish those were my hands.” 

 

“Take your clothes off too; I want to see your beautiful body.” 

 

Ashlyn moves quickly, setting her laptop on her bed. She tries to make a little show of it like Ali did but she’s far too eager to continue watching Ali do what she was doing so she makes it quick. She strips her shirt and sports bra and wiggles out of her shorts and underwear, grinning as Ali licks her lips. 

 

“You are so fucking beautiful, baby,” Ali says as she looks Ashlyn up and down. “Have I ever told you that?” 

 

Ashlyn nods, biting her bottom lip, holding it between her teeth for a moment. She gets more than a little insecure sometimes, picking apart every aspect of her appearance, even her fashion and hairstyle choices. Sometimes she wishes she could look and dress more like Ali but when Ali looks at her like that, she wouldn’t change a thing. Ali makes her feel like the most beautiful person in the world and she’s not sure she could ever express how much she loves and appreciates Ali for that. 

 

“How’s your vibrator been working?” Ali asks as Ashlyn sits back down on her bed. 

 

“Why don’t I show you?” She sets her laptop on the bed next to her, in Ali’s usual spot. She lies on her side, grinning as Ali mimics her actions and sets her laptop up the same way. 

 

“You know what I would do if I were there right now?” Ali asks. 

 

“Uh, give me hickies?” 

 

“Well, that too,” Ali laughs. “I’d kiss down your neck and chest and take one of your nipples between my teeth while I pinched the other one.” 

 

Ashlyn hums, rolling her nipples between her fingers as Ali does the same. They both let out soft sighs, more and more turned on by the second. “So good, baby,” Ashlyn says. “Are you gonna watch me?” 

 

Ali nods, eyes trained on the screen as Ashlyn turns on her vibrator and puts it between her legs. 

 

“That little show you gave me has me so ready,” Ashlyn says. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment as she feels her orgasm approach but she forces them open again so she can watch Ali watching her. 

 

“Are you gonna stop when you get close to the edge?” Ali asks. “That’s what I would do to you if I were there.” 

 

“I can’t stop, baby, I’m too worked up. I’m already so close.” Just as she says that, a small moan escapes her lips. She shifts the vibrator a little, moaning Ali’s name. 

 

“Are you gonna come for me, babe?” Ali asks. “Are you gonna make yourself come while I watch?” 

 

“Yes,” Ashlyn breathes. “So… close.” 

 

“Let go,” Ali says gently. 

 

Ashlyn sighs as she comes, eyes closing as she rides out the waves of her orgasm. When she stills, she opens her eyes to see the desire on Ali’s face. 

 

Ali reaches into her nightstand for her own vibrator and slips out of her panties. “That was so hot, babe, I love watching you like that. Do you want to watch me?” 

 

Ashlyn nods eagerly. 

 

Ali puts her vibrator between her legs, getting it in just the right spot. Her eyes close and she grinds her hips a little.

 

“Do you like that, baby?” Ashlyn asks. “If I were with you I would kiss your neck while I make you come, I know how much you love that.” 

 

“Yes,” Ali moans, both a response to Ashlyn and an expression of how turned on she is. 

 

“I’m gonna have a hard time not fucking you as soon as you walk in the door when you get home,” Ashlyn says. “It’ll be so hard to wait until we get upstairs.” 

 

“God,” Ali groans. “You’re gonna make me come.” 

 

“That’s the point,” Ashlyn laughs. “Did watching me get you worked up?” 

 

Ali nods, eyes staying closed. 

 

“Imagine I’m eating you out. Imagine I’m the one playing with your nipples.” 

 

Ali feels the first tingles of her orgasm, letting out a breathy moan as she comes. Ashlyn watches her face the entire time, loving the blissful expression Ali makes as she comes. 

 

“Wow,” Ali breathes. “I love you.” 

 

“Love you too.” 

 

They pause for a moment to clean themselves up and to get dressed again. When they’re done, they both lie in bed with their laptops again. “I wish I could cuddle you right now,” Ali says. “I wish I could put my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat as you play with my hair.”

 

“Me too,” Ashlyn says. 

 

They stay up and talk for hours and by the time Ali decides to finally go to bed, it’s after one in the morning and Sienna should be home from the bar anytime. “I love and miss you so much,” Ali says. 

 

“I love and miss you more,” Ashlyn replies. “Get some sleep.” 

 

“Night, Ash.” 

 

“Night, Al.” 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trying to time these updates so I don't leave you with angst before christmas. no promises for after, though ;)


	29. Chapter 29

 

The train to Paris leaves at 6:00 Friday morning. Bleary eyed and exhausted, Ali and her friends board the train and immediately attempt to get some more sleep before they’re scheduled to arrive in Paris in four hours. Ali takes the window seat with Sienna next to her. When they’re seated, Ali puts her travel pillow around her neck, forehead leaning against the cool glass as she falls back asleep.

 

It’s a beautiful fall day in Paris. The temperature is in the high 50s and the sun shines brightly, making it feel a little warmer than it is.

 

“Where to first?” Brooke asks.

 

“Food,” Tyler and Dylan say in unison.

 

They find a small outdoor cafe with a partial view of the Eiffel tower. Ali orders a croissant and coffee while her friends elect to try other baked goods with their coffee. “I can’t believe we’re in Paris,” Ali says as they wait for their food. She looks around, smiling as she takes in their surroundings. “Here, let’s get a selfie together.”

 

Everyone gathers around Ali, who gets her selfie stick from her backpack purse to capture the moment. They do a smiling photo first and then Ali starts and Instagram story to get a funny picture. Everyone makes different faces, including Sienna who pretends to kiss Ali’s cheek.

 

_Made it to Paris,_ Ali captions the photo. She saves a copy and uploads it to her story before setting her phone down on the table so she can enjoy her breakfast.

 

After breakfast, the group gets a taxi to take them to their hotel, where they drop off their bags so they don’t have to drag them around the city. They’re kind of far away from the main part of the city and they certainly don’t know their way around so they all decide to purchase a two-day pass for a bus tour. The bus stops at all the major places and they can get on and off as they please.

 

They ride the bus around an entire trip and get off at the last stop, the Eiffel Tower. “Wow,” Ali breathes as they step off of the bus and see the iconic structure in front of them.

 

“We’re really here,” Sienna squeals.

 

“Last one to the top has to sleep on the floor,” Dylan says.

 

“What does the winner get?” Sienna asks.

 

“We’ll all pitch in to repay their admission price.”

 

“Oh, it’s on,” Tyler says.

 

Ali rolls her eyes at them, partly at how competitive they are and partly because she knows she can beat all of them. The stairmaster is a key component of her workout routine, which she’s fairly certain none of her friends can claim. They all buy their tickets at the same time and when everyone is ready, they start the trek up the stairs. Ali plays it slow and steady to start, keeping pace with everyone though she knows she could go faster. Brooke needs a break first so she pauses less than halfway up.

 

The closer they get to the top, the slower everyone’s pace becomes. Dylan is the second to take a break, followed closely by Sienna until it’s just Ali and Tyler left.

 

“How are you not tired yet?” he asks. He’s clearly winded and while Ali is tired, she’s not dragging her feet nearly as much as he is.

 

“I do the stairmaster every time I go to the gym. Gotta keep my legs in shape so my girlfriend will stay as whipped as she is.”

 

“I gotta start going to the gym more.”

 

Just a few flights later, Tyler stops to take a break while Ali continues her journey. She moves slower now that she doesn’t have anyone to keep pace with. She takes a short break every now and then until she finally reaches the top. With none of her friends around, she takes the opportunity to capture a few solo selfies with the city behind her.

 

Though she was the first to need a break, Brooke is the second to the top, followed by Tyler then Dylan and, finally, Sienna.

 

“Shit, you guys, that was awful,” Sienna says. “Who won?”

 

“Ali,” Tyler says.

 

“Of course she did,” Sienna laughs.

 

Once everyone catches their breath, they have someone take a group photo of them. While Ali is normally the one to make sure they all get selfies and group shots together, Brooke is the one who takes a lot of candids and today is no different. She captures a few candid moments of her friends at the top of the Eiffel Tower and when they finally go back down for a picnic in the park, she captures even more. With the Eiffel Tower in the background, she captures a shot of Sienna laughing at something Ali said. Ali’s back is to the camera as she faces the Eiffel Tower but Sienna’s profile is visible, looking at Ali as she laughs. Brooke includes the shot as part of her multi-photo post on instagram, tagging both Ali and Sienna.

 

~

 

Back in Chapel Hill, Ashlyn opens instagram as she drinks her morning coffee. She sees Ali’s story first, eyeing Sienna pretending to kiss Ali’s cheek suspiciously. When she scrolls through Brooke’s post (she follows all of Ali’s study abroad friends to keep up with their adventures) and sees the photo of Sienna looking at Ali in that adoring way, she immediately locks her phone.

 

She trusts Ali, that much is certain. But that doesn’t mean she trusts Sienna.

 

Recently, she’s been getting the sense that Sienna likes Ali. Nearly every photo of the two of them, Sienna is a little more touchy than Ashlyn would prefer to see someone being with her girlfriend. Even her comments on Ali’s photos are a little over the top and they often involve either the heart eyes emoji or the kissy face one.

 

She doesn’t trust Sienna and she certainly doesn’t like that she’s the one sitting in front of the Eiffel Tower with Ali.

 

If anyone should be looking at Ali like that during a picnic in front of the Eiffel Tower, it’s her, not some random girl Ali really only knows through the study abroad program.

 

Jealousy burns inside of her as she drafts a text to Ali.

 

_Paris looks fun. Talk later?_

 

_I’ll try to sneak away when we’re back at the hotel. Love you._

 

Ashlyn is annoyed almost all day. She knows she shouldn’t but she goes back and looks at Brooke’s post more than once, annoyance and jealousy building up the more she looks at the photo. She’s a little cranky all day so although she hates how much time she has to dwell on the photo, she’s glad she doesn’t have to deal with people other than a quick afternoon practice. Once practice is over, she locks herself in her room and does homework until Ali calls.

 

Ali’s contact photo appears on screen and Ashlyn answers on the first ring, nearly dropping her phone as her hands shake. It’s just a phone call, not FaceTime this time, so she holds her phone to her ear.

 

“Hi, babe,” Ali says.

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn says. “Did you sneak into the bathroom or something?”

 

“No, I’m in the hallway. Today was so fun, oh my god.”

 

“Yeah, looks like it was,” Ashlyn says, trying to control the bite in her tone. “So what did you do?”

 

“Mostly sightseeing,” Ali says. “We’re doing a hop on hop off bus tour so we saw most of the cool monuments and buildings today then tomorrow is supposed to be kind of rainy so we’re gonna do museums. I won the race to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I knew the stairmaster would pay off one day.”

 

“It already does,” Ashlyn says. “Can I, uh, talk to you about something?”

 

“Anything,” Ali replies.

 

“What’s the deal with Sienna?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs in response before she realizes that Ali can’t see her. “I don’t know, she just seems to like you. As more than a friend, I mean.”

 

“What? That’s crazy,” Ali says.

 

“Not really,” Ashlyn replies. “The way she was looking at you today in that picture Brooke posted is, like, the worst heart eyes I’ve ever seen. Friends don’t look at other friends like that. I just, I don’t know, I don’t trust her.”

 

“You don’t trust me, you mean,” Ali snaps. It’s been a long day and she’s not in the mood for this kind of discussion.

 

“Did I say that? You should know me well enough by now to know that I trust you completely. I said I don’t trust her.”

 

“You have no reason not to trust her,” Ali says.

 

“Maybe not and I’d love to be proved wrong but I just get a weird feeling. Do you change in front of her?”

 

“Jesus christ, Ash. What does it matter?”

 

“I just asked a question.”

 

Ali sighs, barely containing her frustration. “Of course I change in front of her. She’s my roommate. I change in front of Christen all the time and you don’t get all worked up over that so I don’t see why this is any different.”

 

“Look, I don’t want to fight, baby,” Ashlyn says, softening her tone. “I just get a weird feeling about her, okay? I should be the one looking at you in front of the Eiffel Tower like that. If the situation were reversed, would you really think any differently? I trust you, of course I trust you, but that doesn’t mean I trust her.”

 

“I still think you’re off base but even if you’re right, it doesn’t matter at all. I love you, not her, and you have nothing to worry about, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I sent you a postcard today.”

 

“You did?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“Yep, one of the Eiffel Tower at night. It’s really pretty. Have you gotten my other ones yet?”

 

Ashlyn looks up at the magnetic part of her desk where two postcards from Ali are displayed. “Yes, both from Frankfurt, right? They’re hanging on my desk; I’m actually looking at them right now.”

 

“You might run out of space on there by the time I get home.”

 

“Yeah, I might need to get a bulletin board or something,” Ashlyn laughs. The magnetic board is already cluttered with photos of her and Ali, cards from their anniversary, Valentine’s Day, and her birthday. She can definitely use some extra display space. “I miss you so much.”

 

“I know, I miss you too,” Ali says. “Hey, someone has a birthday coming up.”

 

“Wonder who that is,” Ashlyn says. “Oh, it sounds like I might get to play in our game on Thursday. Coach says I’m looking good and ready to get back out there.”

 

“You nervous?”

 

“A little. I mean, I haven’t played in a game for a little over a year so it would be a little nerve wracking even without an injury like that. I think it’ll come back to me, though.”

 

“You’ll be great, I know you will. I’ll try to find a stream to watch you. I should get going, though, we have another long day ahead of us.”

 

“Night, Al, love you.”

 

“Love you more.”

 

~

 

Ashlyn does play in the game on Thursday night. It’s her first game in over a year and it happens to be at home against a tough conference opponent in Notre Dame. The game starts at 7:00 in Chapel Hill which means that Ali has to stay up until 1:00 in the morning before even begins. She had an early class that morning so after a quick nap, she does everything she can to stay awake until game time.

 

It’s all worth it, though, because as soon as she watches Ashlyn take the field, excitedly running to her goal after the team huddle, Ali can’t help but smile. Ashlyn has worked so hard to get back to this point and Ali was there through it all (except the last seven weeks).

 

She was there when Ashlyn was injured, dried her tears in the car after that game.

 

She was there when Ashlyn had her surgery and woke up loopy and disoriented.

 

She was there for Ashlyn to rely on when Ashlyn couldn’t put any weight on her left leg and she was there as Ashlyn started rehab to rebuild her strength and agility.

 

Ali saw first hand all the blood, sweat, and tears Ashlyn put into her recovery and now it’s all paying off. Win or lose, this game is a big step for Ashlyn to get her confidence back and Ali couldn’t be more proud of her girlfriend.

 

As Ashlyn takes her spot on the field, Ali sends her a text that she can see after the game.

 

_Looking good, baby. I’m so proud of you._

 

She can tell Ashlyn is a little nervous, at first, and her communication with a freshman center back isn’t the best. Her connection with Whitney is as strong as ever, though, and when Ashlyn and Emily have a miscommunication, Whitney is there to clear the ball off of the line.

 

“Thanks, Whit,” Ali whispers at her screen as Ashlyn gives her a pat on the back and tries to organize her backline better.

 

The defense is a little more stable after that but Ali can tell that Ashlyn is still a little nervous. In the 20th minute, she makes an incredible diving save to push the ball wide for a corner kick. The change in Ashlyn is obvious. After the save, Ali can see Ashlyn’s confidence grow and she settles into the game.

 

The game ends in a 1-1 draw. For this team, anything but a win is often disappointing but considering it was Ashlyn’s first game back in over a year, everyone seems pretty happy with the draw.

 

_Looked good, baby. I have to go to bed now but I love you and I’m so proud._

 

Ali goes through her nighttime routine after sending Ashlyn the text and as she settles into bed, her phone lights up with a reply.

 

_Thanks for watching. Wish you were here to celebrate. Love you._

 

Ali smiles and puts her phone back on the nightstand, finally rolling over to fall asleep.

 

~

 

The day before her birthday, Ashlyn comes down to the kitchen to make lunch, finding Kelley and Heather studying together at the table. They’re whispering about something but they stop talking as soon as Ashlyn is in the room.

 

“Hey, guys,” Ashlyn says. She starts boiling water to make mac and cheese, grabs a Gatorade from the fridge, and joins Kelley and Heather at the table.

 

“So how are you doing without Ali here?” Heather asks.

 

Ashlyn shrugs. She’s not sure how much to reveal to Heather because although they’re friends, Heather is Ali’s best friend and they tell each other everything. She almost gives a generic answer but thinks better of it, figuring Heather already heard about their recent fight. “It’s hard, not gonna lie. We had a little argument the other day and it’s still kind of sitting with me.”

 

“When you argued about that Sienna girl?” Kelley asks. As soon as Ashlyn was done on the phone with Ali, she talked about the argument with Kelley, who agreed that Ashlyn has a right to distrust Sienna.

 

“Yeah, I just think she likes Ali as more than a friend. I mentioned it to Ali but she thought I was crazy.”

 

“She was worried that you don’t trust her,” Heather says. She, of course, heard Ali’s side of the story and now she wants to hear Ashlyn’s.

 

“I do trust her and I told her that a hundred times. I wouldn’t be with her if I don’t trust her. I don’t know, maybe the setting of them being in front of the Eiffel Tower made it seem like more than it was but friends don’t look at friends like that unless they have feelings for them.”

 

“That’s how you looked at Ali before you got together,” Kelley says. “And you still look at her like that.”

 

“Exactly. And, like, all of Sienna’s captions and comments on instagram just seem, I don’t know, like she likes Ali. I had a feeling even before I saw the Paris photo.”

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Heather says. “Ali definitely doesn’t see it but you might be right. But that doesn’t mean Sienna is gonna try anything. I mean, she knows that Ali is dating you. Ali certainly won’t let anything happen.”

 

“I know that and that’s why I tried to be careful not to make it sound like I don’t trust her. But it’s hard, you know? I’m here and they’re off having all of these experiences in Paris and Germany and wherever else they go and then someone looks at Ali like that and it just makes it even more difficult. Plus, I mean, Ali is normally the more jealous one in the relationship so neither of us really knows how to deal when the situation is reversed.”

 

“Oh my god, no kidding. Someone even glances at you at a party and Ali spends the next day up in my room bitching about this girl neither of you even know,” Heather laughs. “Other than the Sienna thing, how is long distance?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs again. “Her first few weeks there it was difficult to coordinate schedules and now that they’re taking more weekend trips, it’s even harder. Sometimes she’ll say we’ll talk that day and then I just don’t hear from her. I know she’s having fun and it’s a once in a lifetime experience so I’m trying not to be too needy but, again, I feel a little left behind. And then I feel bad for feeling like that.”

 

“You shouldn’t feel bad about how you feel,” Heather says. “But you should definitely talk to her about it.”

 

“I agree,” Kelley says.

 

Ashlyn knows they’re both right but she doesn’t know how she’ll bring it up with Ali without starting a fight. She certainly doesn’t want to make Ali feel guilty for taking this opportunity and she doesn’t know how to explain how she’s feeling without risking that.

 

She thinks on it all day, still unable to decide what to do. When Ali texts her happy birthday at midnight Germany time and then calls her at midnight at home, her worries are gone from her mind.

 

“Happy birthday, babe,” Ali says, her voice thick with sleep.

 

“Did you set an alarm just to call me?”

 

“Yep,” Ali says. “I had to talk to the birthday girl right at midnight. Where are you? It’s loud.”

 

“We’re our at the bar,” Ashlyn says. “I’m about to order my first legal drink.”

 

“Oooh, what are you gonna have?”

 

“Probably something light. We have early practice tomorrow so I can’t go too crazy.”

 

“Who went with you?” Ali asks, her sleepy mumble and the noise in the bar making it difficult for Ashlyn to understand her.

 

“All of my housemates and Christen and Heather.”

 

“Give them all hugs from me and tell them I miss them.”

 

“Will do. Thanks for calling. I love you.”

 

“Love you too. Happy birthday, I’ll call you later when I’m more awake.”

 

That evening, all of Ali’s friends go out to a bar down the street. She wants to go with them but she promised she would call Ashlyn for her birthday and it’s the only time that could possibly work for both of them. When Sienna leaves for her night out, Ali settles into bed to FaceTime Ashlyn.

 

“Hi,” Ashlyn grins when she accepts Ali’s call.

 

“Hey,” Ali says. “How’s your birthday?”

 

“Kind of boring without you here, not gonna lie. But, hey, I can have a drink with dinner now so that’s kind of cool.”

 

“Remember your birthday last year?”

 

“Mmm, how could I forget? We’ll have to take another trip to the coast one time. I think that’s my favorite birthday to date.”

 

“Guess I’ll have to come up with something better for your next one.”

 

“Guess so,” Ashlyn says. “Oh, I got your card in the mail today so that was good timing on your part. I can’t read what the card says because I don’t know German but I’m guessing it’s ‘happy birthday’.”

 

“Wouldn’t it be funny if it was a Christmas card or something? But, yeah, it’s a birthday one. Do you want to see your present?”

 

Ashlyn nods, a grin on her face.

 

“Well you can’t see your actual present until I bring it home to you but for now, I guess I can give you a little something.” She sets her laptop on her bed, and slowly strips her clothes to reveal a lacy bra and panty set. It’s one of Ashlyn’s favorite lingerie sets, which she brought to Germany solely for moments like this one.

 

“Best present ever,” Ashlyn says. She settles against her pillows, watching Ali’s every move as desire stirs in her belly. It certainly doesn’t compare to last year’s birthday when she and Ali spent a night in a hotel by the ocean but, all in all, it’s been a pretty damn good day, capped with one of their hottest virtual dates yet.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one last update before christmas. happy holidays, everyone! 
> 
> wanted to leave you with a (mostly) happy chapter. I should be able to update on Tuesday so it won't be too long of a wait until the next one. Any predictions?


	30. Chapter 30

 

Four days after Ashlyn’s birthday, Ali and her friends go to London for a long weekend. They’ll only have a couple of days in London and since it’s such a large city, it’s shaping up to be a whirlwind of a trip. Ali and Brooke worked tirelessly to create an itinerary for the group to ensure that they get to do something on everyone’s list. Between sightseeing, museums, pubs, and a trip to the Harry Potter studio tour (Brooke’s demand), they’ll hardly have time to sleep, figuring they can sleep on the train back to Germany.

 

They don’t even have time to sleep so Ali certainly doesn’t have time to check her phone all the time. It’s not that she means to ignore Ashlyn (or anyone else for that matter), she simply doesn’t have the time or the desire to be on her phone while exploring London.

 

When they stumble into their hotel room well after 3:00 in the morning, she finally checks the  texts she missed throughout the day. There are some from Ashlyn, Kyle, her parents, and other friends back home. She reads them all and intends to reply to everyone, starting with her parents. She attempts to reply to Kyle next but accidentally falls asleep mid text, leaving the messages from Ashlyn and her friends untouched.

 

Getting ready for another day of sightseeing is chaotic and rushed and it completely slips Ali’s mind to finish replying to everyone. She read all the messages the night before so she doesn’t even have the red notification bubble to remind her to respond.

 

When she finally checks her phone as they sit down to lunch at the Harry Potter tour, she has another text from Ashlyn.

 

_Are you mad at me?_

 

Ali almost can’t believe what she’s reading. She has no reason to be mad at Ashlyn and she can’t imagine why Ashlyn would think that. That is, until she remembers that she forgot to reply last night.

 

_No, of course not. Just super busy exploring London_

 

_Oh, okay._

 

Ali expects more of a response from Ashlyn but it never comes. She ponders saying more, her typing cursor blinking over and over on her screen. She types out a few drafts of texts but deletes them all, unsure of what to say. Before she can come up with anything worthwhile, Sienna distracts her by capturing a selfie together. She has a bit of an uneasy feeling about not saying more to Ashlyn but after ten minutes, she’s relaxed and joking with her friends once again, worries gone from her mind.

 

~

 

An ocean away, Ashlyn drops her head into her hands as she sits on her living room couch. Tears well in her eyes, which she immediately tries to wipe away.

 

“You okay?” Kelley asks, coming through the living room on her way to the kitchen. When she sees Ashlyn’s shoulders shake with sobs, she sits down next to her friend. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing… everything. Ugh, I don’t know.”

 

“Did something happen?” Kelley asks, rubbing gentle circles on Ashlyn’s back.

 

“It’s just hard,” Ashlyn says. “Yesterday I really missed Ali so I texted her a few times but she never replied. I know they’re in London this weekend so she’s super busy but, I don’t know, it takes a few seconds to reply to my texts. So I asked if she was mad at me and she just sent a one line text and I know it shouldn’t upset me so much but it does. It just seems like she doesn’t miss me as much as I miss her. Most of the time when we talk it’s me reaching out to her and I don’t know if I can do it anymore.”

 

“Oh, Ash,” Kelley breathes. “It’ll be okay. Just talk to her. Tell her that you’re feeling this way because maybe she doesn’t realize how this all makes you feel.”

 

“How could she not know? How could she not know that it’s hard to be the one left behind?”

 

Kelley shrugs. “Maybe she’s just not thinking of it that way.”

 

“And that’s the problem.”

 

“It’s never going to get better if you don’t talk to her.”

 

“I know, I know. Maybe I’ll call her when she gets back to Germany. If she answers, that is.”

 

“She’ll answer.”

 

~

 

Ali does answer. It’s her second night back in Germany after the short trip to England and she and all of her friends are getting ready for a night out. Nearly the entire study abroad program is going out tonight to celebrate the official halfway point of their semester and Ali can’t wait.

 

When Ashlyn calls just as she and Sienna are supposed to leave, Ali lets out an involuntary sigh and looks at her roommate. “I’m gonna take this. You can go ahead and I’ll just meet you there.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah,” Ali says.

 

Sienna leaves the room, closing the door behind her as Ali sits on her bed. She accepts Ashlyn’s FaceTime call, holding her phone out so Ashlyn can see her.

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn says, missing the smile she usually wears when she greets Ali. “Do you have time?”

 

“Uh, I was just about to go out but yeah.”

 

Ashlyn looks even more dejected at Ali’s words. “Don’t mean to impose,” she says quietly, eyes downcast.

 

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Ali asks.

 

Ashlyn takes a deep breath and ponders her response for a moment. The last few days, she’s thought a lot about how this conversation might go but now that it’s here, the calm, reasonable side of her is gone, leaving only her sadness and a little bit of anger. “What isn’t wrong might be the better question,” she says with a cold chuckle.

 

“What do you mean?” Ali asks, pulse quickening.

 

“This is really difficult for me, Al. And recently it’s seemed like you don’t really care.”

 

“I don’t care?” Ali asks incredulously. “What in the world would give you the impression that I don’t care?”

 

“Uh, let’s see,” Ashlyn begins, “not responding to my texts, missing when we’re supposed to talk on the phone, being combative when I bring up the possibility that maybe Sienna likes you as more than a friend.”

 

“You’re being ridiculous,” Ali says. “You know I’m busy here and I’m trying the best I can. You know what I think is happening? You’re still mad that I’m here to begin with and you could only hide it for so long.”

 

“Jesus Christ, Ali, I told you a hundred times that I was only upset that you didn’t include me in the decision making process. You didn’t care then how I felt about this whole thing and you certainly don’t care now because if you did care, you’d put a little more effort into this.”

 

“Don’t you dare say that I don’t care,” Ali says, voice cracking with emotion. “Do you know how many nights out I missed to talk to you on the phone? I was supposed to go out tonight and look, I’m still in my room talking to you.”

 

“Oh, poor baby has to sacrifice something to talk to her girlfriend. Oh, it’s difficult for you to give up a night out but do you know how difficult this all is for me? I feel left behind, Ali, and that’s not a fun feeling.”

 

“It’s not my fault you feel that way.”

 

Ashlyn rolls her eyes dramatically, eliciting a scoff from Ali. Neither says anything for a moment, both gathering their own thoughts. Finally, it’s Ashlyn who breaks the silence. “Glad to know my feelings aren’t important to you.”

 

“Oh my god, can you stop being a baby for like two seconds? Sorry I’m not around to coddle you. Silly me I thought you were an adult who could handle four months apart so I could do something that I’ve always wanted to do.”

 

“I’m not asking you to coddle me and if you would actually listen, you would know that. All I’m asking for is a little more consideration on your part. You’re having all these great adventures and I’m so happy for you but, God, you have no idea how difficult it is to be the one stuck at home. I’m going about my daily life without you here while you’re off doing whatever it is you’re doing and all I want is a little reassurance sometimes that you miss me as much as I miss you. You’re doing all this shit with Sienna and leaving me to be alone with my thoughts.”

 

“Again with the Sienna shit,” Ali exclaims. “What exactly do you think is happening there?”

 

“I think that she has feelings for you and that you won’t listen to me when I tell you that.”

 

“So what do you want me to do, huh? End a friendship and ask for a different roommate just because she _might_ have a little crush on me? Don’t you see how unreasonable that is?”

 

“Guess I’m just an unreasonable person,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Don’t do that,” Ali exclaims. “Don’t start on me then act like a kicked puppy when I call you out too. You don’t think this is difficult for me too? I hardly have a moment to myself to think let alone keep everyone at home happy. My parents are constantly on my case reminding me to check in with them and you need reassurance a hundred times a day. I’m trying to enjoy my time here and everyone wants something else from me. This is a once in a lifetime experience and I’m sick and tired of being made to feel guilty for enjoying myself. I can only do so much.”

 

“Well then maybe I should take myself out of the equation,” Ashlyn says. She takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself so things don’t get more out of hand. “Maybe it’ll be better if you have one less person to worry about.”

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying we should break up so you can enjoy your time.”

 

Ali is incredulous at this suggestion. She feels shocked, angry, and sad all at once and with no emotion to settle on, when she speaks, her tone is void of emotion. “Fine.”

 

Although she thinks it’s for the best to break up at this point, part of Ashlyn was hoping for Ali to fight a little harder. She was hoping that she would say that it’s crazy to break up just because they had a fight. She wanted her to say that she’ll try a little harder and they’ll make it through the next nine weeks no matter what they have to do. But Ali simply says “fine” and Ashlyn has to stop herself from crying. “We’ll talk when you get home, if you want.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Ashlyn hesitates for a moment, hoping that Ali will say something more. When she doesn’t, Ashlyn breaks the silence. “Bye, Al.”

 

“Bye, Ash.”

 

Ashlyn is the one to end the call and when her face disappears from the screen, Ali curls up in bed and starts sobbing. She never would’ve imagined the conversation going that way and now that it has, she’s not even sure if she can move from her place in bed.

 

Recently, she’s been wondering if they’re too young.

 

Long distance is hard on any relationship but at 20 and 21 years old, she’s spent hours wondering if they’re too young to be in a relationship this serious. None of her friends in the program are in serious relationships so when she’s surrounded by them meeting and hooking up with people on their travels, she’s envied them a little. She’s been with Ashlyn since first semester freshman year and now nearly two years later, she wonders if it was maybe too much too soon.

 

She may have been struggling with feeling too tied down recently but she never thought that she and Ashlyn would break up, not with the foundation they’ve built. She simply thought they were concerns she’d have to work through until they disappeared.

 

She sobs in bed for nearly an hour before she thinks to text Sienna that she won’t be meeting everyone at the bar. Sienna replies almost immediately.

 

_Make sure you put a scrunchie on the door if it’s not safe to come in later._

 

It’s a lighthearted joke, one she’s made before, but considering what just happened, it makes Ali cry even harder. She clutches her phone to her chest, as if she’s holding onto it means she’s holding onto Ashlyn and the connection they share—shared.

 

She feels like part of her is missing, part of her that made her happy. She wants to talk to someone about it, someone who usually comforts her and who understands her.

 

She quickly learns that the hardest part about breaking up with your best friend is not being able to talk to the person you want to talk to the most.

 

Their relationship was built on friendship and Ali told Ashlyn everything. There were never any secrets between them, which is why they were so strong for so long. Now that they’re broken up, however, Ali has lost the one person she wants to talk to.

 

Unable to call Ashlyn, Ali decides to call Kyle.

 

“Hey, Als, how’s Germany these days?”

 

“Ash and I broke up,” Ali says, voice cracking so much she’s almost unable to finish her sentence.

 

“Holy shit, Al, I’m sorry. What happened.”

 

As painful as it is, Ali launches into her description of their fight. She spares no details, from the way Ashlyn seemed off from the beginning and how she’s positive that Ashlyn never liked that she’s doing the study abroad program, no matter how many times she insists it’s because she wanted to be included in the thought process. She talks about Ashlyn’s issue with Sienna, only partly willing to admit that maybe she’s right that Sienna has feelings for her.

 

“So what do you think will happen when you get home? Do you think you’ll get back together?”

 

“I have no idea,” Ali says. Truthfully, she’s been fixated on the rest of the argument that she hasn’t taken a moment to consider what might happen when she gets home. “She just said that we’d talk so maybe it’ll be to break up in person, I don’t know.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Kyle says.

 

“I just… I don’t know what to do,” Ali says, crying again. “She’s my best friend. I didn’t ever think this would happen to us and now that it has, I have no idea what to do.”

 

“I know it sounds crazy but try to enjoy yourself as best as you can. Don’t let this ruin the rest of your trip. You’re in Germany, Ali, worry about everything else when you get home. If you’re meant to be together, then it’ll happen and if not then you can deal with it then.”

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Ali says. “It’s not gonna be easy, though.”

 

“No, of course it won’t, but you know you can always call and talk to me. I’ve got your back.”

 

This at least makes Ali feel a little better. Mostly because she knows she’ll need the support but also because of how her relationship with Kyle has been rebuilt the last few months. It’s been four months since Kyle came back into her life and all of the lingering resentment and hurt has faded away and has been replaced with trust and normalcy. “Thanks, Ky. I’m gonna go, okay?”

 

“Call me whenever you need me. Love you, Als.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

When she’s done talking to Kyle, she decides to get ready for bed. She knows her friends will still be out for another few hours so she could meet up with them if she really wanted but all she wants to do right now is mourn her breakup. She’ll give herself tonight and in the morning, she’s determined to push everything aside and enjoy herself again.

 

She settles into bed and unlocks her phone. She’s not sure why she does it, knowing she’s just torturing herself, but she opens the photo album on her phone of all pictures of her and Ashlyn. It’s something she’s looked at every now and then on her trip, usually when she misses Ashlyn the most. It normally makes her smile to scroll through the hundreds of selfies and posed photos together but tonight, the breakup fresh on her mind, it makes her cry.

 

She starts at their most recent photo together, one taken at the airport just before her flight left. She can see the sadness at their impending separation in both of their eyes but they’re both smiling, Ashlyn with her dimple showing. When the photo was taken, she never thought they’d only make it halfway through their separation before breaking up. She thought they’d work through long distance together and be reunited a few days after Christmas. She feels like she’s failed that two months younger version of herself, feels like she failed Ashlyn and their relationship.

 

The farther she scrolls back in their relationship, the harder she cries. She only makes it as far back as the pictures from Ashlyn’s 20th birthday trip to the coast before it’s too much to handle. She closes out of the photos app, locks her phone, and cries herself to sleep.

 

~

 

Ashlyn can’t believe what she’s done.

 

She can’t believe what she did and she can’t believe that Ali didn’t say anything to stop it.

 

If she were to ask Ali about her lack of emotion, she would know that Ali felt too many things at once and it came out as detached. She doesn’t know that, though, so she assumes Ali’s attitude was because she doesn’t care and that it’s just more proof that all of this was harder on her than it was on Ali.

 

At first, she’s a little too stunned to cry. It doesn’t feel real. She and Ali couldn’t possibly have broken up. If anyone could make it through something like this, it should be them. But it did happen and the more that sinks in, the more Ashlyn feels sick to her stomach.

 

She locks herself in her room, her only contact with another human when she calls her coach to tell him that she has the stomach flu and can’t stop puking. Just as she hopes, he tells her to stay home from the evening’s game so she doesn’t get the rest of the team sick. It’s the perfect cover. Thats is, until her housemates check on her before the game.

 

All four of them show up at the same time, knocking cautiously before opening her door.

 

“Hey, coach told us you’re sick,” Whitney says, peeking her head in the door.

 

“I’m not sick,” Ashlyn mumbles, face down in her pillow where she’s been crying for the last thirty minutes. “Ali and I broke up and I just can’t today. Please don’t tell anyone.”

 

Her housemates are in her room, surrounding her in an instant. “Oh no,” Kelley says.

 

“Your secret is safe with us,” Tobin says.

 

“We have to go but will you be okay alone?” Alex asks. As a friend of Ashlyn’s all the way back to their middle school days, she’s seen Ashlyn go through breakups before. It’s usually pretty rough but she knows just how much Ashlyn loved Ali so she knows this’ll be far worse.

 

“I probably won't even leave my bed.”

 

“We’ll see you later, okay?” Whitney says, patting Ashlyn on the back.

 

Ashlyn doesn’t watch the game. Instead, she cries until she’s completely worn out and falls into an exhausted sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> i'm sure you all have thoughts about this so let me hear it. i'll get the next one up this week sometime


	31. Chapter 31

  
  


Ashlyn hardly gets out of bed all weekend. 

 

Her teammates take turns checking on her and bringing her food, most of which she doesn’t eat. On Sunday evening, Kelley slides into bed with her, molding herself behind Ashlyn as the big spoon. 

 

“How are we doing?” Kelley asks gently. 

 

“Sad. I miss Ali.” 

 

“Talk to me about it, Ash, don’t keep it bottled up.” 

 

Ashlyn takes a deep breath. She doesn’t turn to face Kelley because she knows she’s going to start crying so she stays in place, letting her friend hold her. “I love her so much, Kel, it hurts so bad to not be with her anymore. Why did I do it? Why did I say we should break up?” 

 

“Because you were hurting,” Kelley says. “Because you wanted something that she wasn’t able to give you at the moment and you wanted to spare yourself more pain.” 

 

“Yeah, and we see how that turned out.”

 

“It’ll be okay, Ash. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now but whatever the outcome of all of this, you will make it through. You have some pretty kick ass friends who have your back. Quite literally at the moment.” 

 

Ashlyn finally rolls over to face her friend, finding both sincerity and pity in Kelley’s eyes. “Thank you, Kel, I love you.” 

 

“Love you too, bud. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“I think you should get a tattoo. Don’t you have, like, a million planned and you’ve been waiting to get one? It might take your mind off of all of this at the very least.” 

 

“I could get the one for my grandma,” Ashlyn says. She’s been saving money for her tattoos recently—one benefit of Ali being gone is that she’s been able to save the money she would normally spend on dates—and she’s almost certain she has enough for the piece in honor of her grandma. She wants it big and bold on her side so it’s taken a lot of saving but she’s pretty sure she can afford a decent artist at this point. “If I make an appointment, will you go with me?” 

 

“I’m not getting a tattoo, if that’s what you’re asking, but I’ll definitely sit with you. I’ll always be there for you no matter how bad you smell from not showering in days.” 

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn laughs. “Should’ve left some face masks on my door handle, huh?” 

 

“Or you could just shower,” Kelley teases. “Come on, go get in the shower and I’ll wash your sheets. Nothing hurts as bad when you have clean sheets and even if it still hurts, at least your blankets will be warm and soft and smell like whatever the hell our detergent is.” 

 

“Thanks, Kel, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

 

Feeling a little better that she has such supportive, understanding friends behind her, Ashlyn drags herself out of the bed and into the bathroom for a shower. On the bathroom counter, she finds a small paper bag from Lush with a note on it. 

 

_ Ash, use this bath bomb and take a nice, long bath. We love you.  _

 

_ -Your roomies _

 

Ashlyn smiles as she takes the bath bomb into her hand. She brings it to her nose, breathing in the calming scent. She walks over to the bathtub, plugging the drain before she turns on hot water from the bath faucet. When there’s a little water pooled in the bottom of the tub, she drops in the bath bomb and watches as it fizzes. It fills the room with a warm vanilla scent. 

 

She looks in the mirror, taking in her disheveled appearance as the tub fills with water. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying so much and her hair is matted to her head a little after not being washed for a few days. She sighs heavily, eyes darting away from her reflection. 

 

She strips her clothes and lowers herself into the hot water, instantly soothed and more relaxed than she’s been in weeks. 

 

_ Maybe it’s for the best,  _ she thinks. Even in the weeks leading up to their breakup, everything was more than a little off. For weeks, she kept hoping that maybe it was an exceptionally busy week for Ali and that things would change and when it didn’t, breaking up felt like the only option. As painful as this is, Ashlyn thinks more damage would’ve been done the longer they let things go. 

 

She thinks about their last good FaceTime date, the one on her birthday. The memories make her smile, at least, as she relaxes in the bath. When she thinks about the little show Ali gave of taking her clothes off to reveal her bra and thong set, Ashlyn’s hand finds its way in between her thighs. 

 

Within a couple of minutes, it becomes clear that it’s not gonna happen. While the memories of their sexy virtual dates are usually more than enough to help her get off, she’s not in the right frame of mind. She’s still too sad, too broken to really get into what she’s doing. She stops her movements and drops her head back against the wall, tears rolling down her face. 

 

She sits there with her eyes closed, silently crying until the water gets too cold. When that happens, she starts draining the water and stands to finally wash her hair and body. She scrubs herself a little too hard, as if she can scrub away her feelings with the washrag. When she’s done, her skin is a little red both from the too hot water and the vigorous way she washed her body. 

 

She wraps herself in her towel and makes her way back to her room, putting on fresh clothes before she goes downstairs to find her housemates and Christen all on the couches in the living room. 

 

“There she is,” Whitney says. “Feel refreshed?”

 

“Yeah, thanks for the bath bomb.” 

 

Christen stands, muttering something to Tobin about how she’ll wait for her in her room. 

 

“Chris, you don’t have to leave,” Ashlyn says. “I’m fine.” 

 

“Sorry, I just thought… maybe you wouldn’t want to see me because, well, you know.” 

 

“It’s fine, really. It’s not that kind of breakup, at least not on my end. Besides, this is as much Tobin’s place as mine and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable here.”

 

“Thanks,” Christen grins. “Ali told me what happened and I’m really sorry, Ash. I get why it must’ve been hard for you to deal with her being away.” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs, unsure of what to say. She doesn't really feel like talking about it right now. Luckily, Alex picks up on her uneasiness. “Do you want food, Ash? We could go get dinner somewhere. You could come or we could bring something home or we could order a pizza.” 

 

“Uh, pizza sounds good,” Ashlyn says. Now that she’s thinking about food, she realizes just how hungry she is. “Can we get wings and bread too?” 

 

“As you wish,” Kelley says. She pulls her laptop off of the coffee table and opens the ordering website, making sure to order enough for everyone, taking into consideration that Ashlyn hasn’t had anything to eat in a couple of days and will likely eat twice as much as normal. When it’s ordered, she divides the price by five, figuring that everyone can pitch in a little extra so Ashlyn doesn’t have to pay. “Everyone except Ash owes me twelve bucks.”

 

“Why don’t I owe you?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“It’s our treat,” Alex explains. 

 

“Come on, you guys, I’ll pay.” 

 

“Too late,” Whitney says. “I already sent her my share on venmo. Next time.” 

 

Surrounded by her friends with pizza, wings, breadsticks, and soda, Ashlyn feels better than she has in days. Her friends are always there for her when she needs them and even if she never works things out with Ali, she has a lot of people who love her.

 

~

 

Ali gives herself the first night to be sad. In the morning, though, she tries to go about business as usual. After their trip to London, they’re staying in Frankfurt to relax for the weekend so she busies herself with homework and exploring local places a little more. 

 

She’s not sure how to approach the topic with Sienna. It’ll come up eventually, she knows, but she does wonder if Ashlyn was right about Sienna being attracted to her. If that’s the case, she’s not sure how Sienna will react to the news. 

 

She talks with her friends back home about it, asking for advice. In separate conversations, Heather, Christen, and Crystal all say that she should tell Sienna. Not only will she find out about the breakup eventually, if she really is Ali’s friend, she’ll respect that this is a difficult time for her. 

 

Ali resolves herself to tell Sienna but doesn’t exactly know how to bring it up. The more she vocalizes it, the more real it feels and the harder it becomes to push out of her mind. As it turns out, she doesn’t have to wait for the perfect opportunity because the topic comes up naturally. 

 

“So how’s Ashlyn?” Sienna asks, working on homework in her own bed. 

 

“She, uh,” Ali begins, “we broke up.” 

 

Ali looks over at her friend, studying her reaction intently. Sienna’s expression doesn’t change much, though her eyes do go wide in shock. “Really?” 

 

Ali tries not to notice the hopefulness in her voice. “Yeah.” 

 

“Why?” Sienna asks, her homework completely forgotten at her side. She turns to fully face Ali, sitting cross legged in her bed.  

 

“I guess a lot of stuff just built up. It was really difficult to manage long distance with our schedules and the time difference and I guess she just, I don’t know, wanted more than I was able to give. It’s hard to keep up with everyone back home while still enjoying my time here and I tried, I definitely tried but I guess it wasn’t enough. I mean, you know that I’ve skipped nights out or left them early so I could talk to her but she said she felt forgotten about. I tried to explain how hard it is to keep up with everyone and how everyone at home expects something different and she said she was gonna take herself out of the equation, that we should break up.” 

 

“Wait,” Sienna says. “She broke up with you? That’s crazy. Who in their right mind would break up with you?” 

 

At Sienna’s words, the knot in Ali’s stomach grows. Ashlyn was right and maybe if Ali had listened to her and reassured her more that Sienna is not and will never be a factor, maybe they would still be together right now. Maybe if she’d conceded that point, things would’ve turned out differently. 

 

After almost two years together, Ali knows that sometimes Ashlyn’s insecurities get the better of her. She’s a physical person, thriving on the presence of those she loves. At school, Ashlyn prefers to spend most nights together because she’s reassured by Ali’s presence. With Ali over 4,000 miles away, she needed vocal reassurance and Ali didn’t give it to her. 

 

Ali makes an excuse about needing to shower and goes into the bathroom, turning on the water the way she likes. She strips down until she’s wearing nothing but the heart necklace Ashlyn gave her for their first Valentine’s Day and the bracelet, the same one Ashlyn has. 

 

She runs her thumb across the engraving of the coordinates to Old Well, where their relationship officially began. She can picture that night so clearly in her mind, the memories of one of the happiest days of her life flooding back as if it were yesterday. During her time in Europe so far, the bracelet has always made her feel close to Ashlyn. Now, however, it makes her feel even farther away. 

 

She never showers with the bracelet on so she carefully takes it off of her wrist and sets it on the counter. In the shower, her tears flow as easily as they did the night Ashlyn broke her heart. 

 

As she dries herself off, she considers not putting her bracelet back on. She considers tucking it away in her suitcase where it’ll be safe and out of sight. But doing so would make the breakup feel permanent and she’s not ready for that quite yet. She slips the bracelet back on her wrist and presses a gentle kiss to the gold bar, wishing more than anything that she could kiss Ashlyn right now. 

 

~

 

Ashlyn schedules her first appointment with the tattoo artist for a week to the day after the breakup. As promised, Kelley comes to the appointment with her and sits patiently as Ashlyn and Leo go over her design ideas. She has a few rough sketches of how she wants the piece to look and with Leo’s help, it becomes more than she ever dreamed it could be. 

 

It all becomes real when Leo puts the stencil on her skin, the temporary ink an outline for the careful lines he’ll make with the tattoo gun. It won’t all be completed today but the outline will be done so Ashlyn carefully studies the stencil placement in the mirror. 

 

“Holy shit, dude, that’s massive. Are you sure about this?” Kelley asks. 

 

“Positive,” Ashlyn says, grinning as she takes it all in. She can already imagine it filled in with bright, bold colors, all of her grandma’s favorite colors. “Let’s do this.” 

 

She settles herself onto Leo’s table, making herself as comfortable as possible for what is sure to be at least a six hour session. Kelley sits in a chair nearby, watching with great interest. 

 

“So do a lot of people get one that big for their first tattoo?” Kelley asks 

 

“Sometimes but not usually,” Leo says. “It’s usually a sign that a person really, really likes tattoos so it wasn’t a surprise to learn that Ashlyn wants a sleeve at some point as well.”

 

“Trust me, if I had the talent for it, I’d probably try to become a tattoo artist,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Leo finally has everything prepared, starting with a short line so Ashlyn can get a feel for everything. “You good?” he asks. 

 

“Yep,” Ashlyn says. 

 

About an hour into the appointment, Ashlyn sends Kelley home. It can’t be fun for her to sit and watch the process for so long and she assures her that she’ll be fine. 

 

“Okay, I’ll come pick you up later,” Kelley says. 

 

“I’ll text you when we’re done for the day.” 

 

As Leo works, he and Ashlyn talk and, at points, Ashlyn feels like this is more like a therapy session than a tattoo appointment. She talks more about her grandma and why this tattoo is important to her, especially why it’s important for it to be her first one. During hour three, the conversation turns to Ali and their recent breakup. 

 

“So you’re hoping to work things out when she gets home?” 

 

Ashlyn has to remind herself not to shrugs and mess up what Leo is doing. “I think so, yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen. I just couldn’t keep going the way things were, you know? It’s hard because it feels a little unfinished so if we talk when she gets back, we’ll either get closure or decide to try again.” 

 

“When does she get back?” 

 

“She’ll be back on campus a few days after Christmas.” 

 

“Okay so if I see you a week or two into the new year, I’m gonna assume that you were unable to work things out.” 

 

Ashlyn has to hold in a laugh. “Nah, I’ll be back no matter what. As soon as I can afford to get this one colored in, I’ll be calling to make another appointment. I’m hoping Christmas money will get me there.”  

 

“Sweet, this thing will look awesome when we get it filled in. I’ll keep the drawing on file for you. So we can get right down to business next time.” 

 

When they’re not talking, the buzzing of the tattoo gun and other chatter and noises throughout the shop provide the perfect white noise for Ashlyn to think about this last week. 

 

It’s been a week since they last spoke and although it still feels a little unfinished, it’s starting to feel a little more real. Ashlyn can’t remember the last time they went a week without speaking and when she looks back, she realizes they’ve never gone that long without some sort of contact. 

 

She hopes they’ll be able to work things out when Ali gets home but in case that doesn’t happen, Ashlyn has to be prepared for this to be her new normal. She has to get used to Ali not being in her life and that is what hurts most of all. 

 

The wounds of breakup still so raw, she can’t even allow herself to imagine what life will be like without Ali lest she break down in the middle of a tattoo shop. She pushes the thoughts from her mind, choosing instead to focus on her new ink and how long it’ll be until she can get it filled in with the colors she and Leo sketched out. 

 

~

 

The session lasts nearly seven hours but the end (or middle, considering it’s just the outline and basic shading) product is more than Ashlyn ever could’ve imagined. She checks out her new ink in the full length mirror at the shop as Leo removes his gloves and cleans up his station. 

 

The piece stretches down her entire side, the black ink contrasting against her skin. 

 

“What do you think?” Leo asks. 

 

“I love it,” Ashlyn says. “It’s amazing.” 

 

Leo gives her the rundown on how to care for it the next few weeks. He tells her to avoid exercises that would stretch the area too much which normally might be a problem with her being a goalkeeper but she took a knock to the ankle at practice the other day and her coaches plan to keep her out for at least a week. They don’t want to risk further injury as the team heads towards postseason so she’s being rested for the time being. The appointment couldn’t have come at a better time, both as a distraction from the breakup and during a rare window when her body gets to rest. 

 

“So I’ll see you in a few months to add some color, right?” 

 

“Definitely. I’ll see you with my Christmas money.” 

 

“And I’ll hope to hear good news about your relationship.”

 

“Thanks, man, we’ll see.” 

 

Ashlyn texts Kelley to come pick her up and when she arrives, Kelley comes into the shop to check out Ashlyn’s new ink. It’s wrapped protectively but she can see it through the clear plastic and marvels not only at the size but the beauty of it as well. She’s not one for tattoos herself but now that she sees it on Ashlyn, it’s hard to ever remember her without it. 

 

“Looks awesome, dude.” 

 

“Thanks, Kel. And thanks for suggesting I do this. It was the perfect distraction.” 

 

“Good, I’m glad.” 

 

When they get back home, Ashlyn goes to get the mail from the box while Kelley goes inside. She flips through the mail, finding some small packages, magazines, and bills for her housemates before she flips to a postcard from London. Hands shaking and breath catching in her throat, she stares at the photo of the London skyline at night as she makes her way inside. 

 

One safely inside, she drops the rest of the mail on the coffee table and sits on the couch with the postcard in her hands. 

 

“Anything for me?” Kelley asks on her way back from the kitchen with a glass of water in her hands. When Ashlyn doesn’t reply, she tries again. “Ash?” She comes up behind the couch and looks over Ashlyn’s shoulder. There’s only one person who would’ve sent Ashlyn a postcard from London recently and her heart sinks at the realization. “Are you gonna read it? You don’t have to, you know.” 

 

“It’s from before we broke up,” Ashlyn says. Taking a deep breath, she turns the postcard over in her hands, already choking up at the sight of Ali’s careful penmanship. 

 

_ Ashlyn,  _

 

_ Hey, baby. London is  _ _ amazing _ _ but it’s nowhere near as amazing as you. I’ve added so many places to the list of things we need to do together when we finally get to plan a trip to Europe together.  _

 

_ Miss you more and more every day and I can’t wait to see your beautiful face in person again.  _

 

_ All my love,  _

_ Ali _

 

Kelley averts her eyes while Ashlyn reads, not wanting to pry but it doesn’t matter; Ashlyn hands her the postcard as soon as she’s done reading (and rereading) it herself. “Oh, Ash,” Kelley says. “Come here,” she says, wrapping a crying Ashlyn in her arms and rocking slightly. “It’ll be okay.” 

 

“I miss her,” Ashlyn says, tears running down her face. 

 

“I know you do,” Kelley says. She hugs Ashlyn tighter, none of them saying another word as Ashlyn sobs against her friend’s chest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i'm posting these, i'm working on some epilogues and it's so weird to come back to edit these chapters. Mood for this breakup is Saved by Khalid (and 8teen and another sad love song and maybe just like his entire album ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)


	32. Chapter 32

  
  


Ali has never been more thankful to to have a busy schedule. 

 

In the weeks following the breakup, she hardly has time to do anything but school work and plan for the next trip with her friends, set to take place over Thanksgiving weekend to distract themselves from not being home with their families. This time, they’re heading south to Italy where they stop in Venice and Milan. They want to go to Rome but it’s much farther out of the way and the travel time alone would limit how much they’re able to do and see. 

 

It’s another whirlwind trip and Ali hardly has time to think about anything other than what’s right in front of her. 

 

Ever since their talk about Ali’s breakup, Sienna’s demeanor towards her has changed. She’s a little more openly flirty, a little more touchy. The attention is nice, at least, and although Ali doesn’t change her own behavior towards her friend, she lets it continue. 

 

Venice is one of Ali’s favorite places so far and when she picks postcards for everyone back home, she purchases an extra one—one that she would send to Ashlyn if they were still together. She can’t explain why she does it, other than it somehow feels right. When she writes out the postcards to everyone else on her list, she keeps the one that would be for Ashlyn tucked away in the travel journal she’s been keeping. 

 

Though she’s tried to keep the journal about her travels, the breakup and the aftermath is now part of her trip and she dedicated two pages to it before focusing on her sightseeing and classes once again. She tucks the blank postcard, a beautiful, romantic image of the city and the water at sunset, into the back of her travel journal and promptly forgets it’s there. 

 

They return to Frankfurt Sunday evening, just in time to go out with some of their other friends from the program. 

 

Although Ali’s preferred drink is wine, she decides to get beer while out with her friends that night. It’s much cheaper for more volume and after one of their more expensive excursions, she needs to save money wherever possible. 

 

The drunker Ali gets, the more responsive she is to Sienna’s flirting. 

 

She doesn’t think much about what she’s doing—the alcohol clouding her mind and dulling all other thoughts. Sienna is nice and pretty and, most importantly, she’s there. A little flirting can’t hurt so Ali flirts back for the first time ever, which only adds to Sienna’s flirty and touchy mood.

 

They talk and laugh with their friends, most of whom are from the program and some of whom they’ve met in Frankfurt. All the while, Ali is increasingly aware of Sienna’s advances. 

 

After two beers, Sienna moves her stool closer to Ali’s and when they go up to the bar to get another round for everyone, Sienna puts a gentle hand on Ali’s lower back. It’s fleeting, lasting no more than three seconds, but as they sit down, Ali can’t stop thinking about it. 

 

It’s been a month since she and Ashlyn broke up and it’s been three months since they last saw one another, since they last kissed and Ali longs to feel someone’s lips against her own again. 

 

She certainly doesn’t want anything serious, not so soon after the breakup, but she figures if Sienna knows that, maybe they can have a little fun. 

 

She finishes her third beer, feeling bolder and braver than before and turns to Sienna. “I’m getting a little tired,” she says, hoping Sienna will get the hint and offer to come back to their room with her. 

 

“Sure, you want to get out of here? I’ll walk you back.” 

 

~

 

Carolina loses in the quarter finals. 

 

As the higher seeded team, they host Baylor in the quarter finals. With Ashlyn in net and a talented and deep group players and their home crowd behind them, Carolina goes into the game feeling extremely confident. They’re ready to show off in front of their fans and defend their home field. 

 

Through most of the game, Carolina controls most of the possessions as well as the chances but they are unable to score against the Baylor defense. 

 

Soccer is sometimes a cruel game, score lines sometimes not reflecting the quality of play. After one North Carolina attack, Baylor starts on a counter and before Ashlyn’s defense can even get into position, a Baylor forward sends a shot into the back of the net from just inside the penalty box. Ashlyn tries to save the shot but just barely misses getting a finger on it. She lands on the grass with the ball behind her. She jumps up immediately, plucking the ball from the back of her net and punting it back towards midfield for the restart. 

 

With a loss in the quarterfinals, they fall just a victory short of a trip to the College Cup as one of four teams left standing. The loss is one of the hardest Ashlyn has ever experienced and she hurts for herself, her team, and for the seniors that wanted another title with and for their university. 

 

“I’m sorry we couldn’t do it, Kel,” Ashlyn says, hugging her friend. 

 

“It’s okay,” Kelley says, her voice cracking with emotions. “Hey, maybe I can get a professional championship next year.” 

 

“We going out tonight?” 

 

“Uh, duh,” Kelley says. “I’m gonna gather the troops. Gotta drown our sorrows somehow, right?” 

 

The team agrees on a local dive bar to meet at, one they frequent during the off season. Ashlyn dresses in a simple t-shirt and jeans and meets her housemates in the living room to order a ride to the bar. 

 

Their night starts with a round of shots for everyone and as the whiskey goes down Ashlyn’s throat, she knows it’s gonna be a long night. After the round of shots, Ashlyn orders a Jack and Coke, her mixed drink of choice. 

 

When everyone’s drinks arrive, Kelley holds her glass up in a toast. “To another season. Not the result we wanted but I am so proud of the fight we showed and of my four years at this school. I love you guys. Cheers.” 

 

“Cheers,” everyone says, clinking glasses over the table. 

 

“So do you think you guys will get drafted into the league?” Ashlyn asks as she sits across from Kelley and Tobin. Christen, as always, is next to Tobin with her own drink. 

 

“I hope so,” Kelley says. 

 

“Me too,” Tobin says. 

 

“Will you guys stay on campus if you’re picked and join your team after you graduate or will you find someone to sublet and do online classes or something?” 

 

“Uh, well if I get drafted by the Courage I’ll stay at the house but if not, I’ll probably sublet,” Kelley says. 

 

“Me too,” Tobin says. 

 

“I hope you get picked by the Courage,” Christen says, resting her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “But I’ll be so proud of you no matter what.” 

 

Ashlyn watches the couple interact with a sinking feeling in her stomach. That’s exactly the type of thing Ali would’ve said to her and she feels that fresh wound opening just a little. She can almost imagine Ali sitting next to her, comforting her about the tournament loss and commending her on the season she had, her first season back after a serious injury kept her sidelined last year. 

 

Even four thousand miles away, if they were still together, Ashlyn knows Ali would’ve spent tonight doing anything to make Ashlyn smile. 

 

With Ali on her mind again, Ashlyn downs her first drink and orders a second before anyone has finished their first round.

 

Whiskey courses through her veins but instead of feeling happy and free like she usually might when she’s drunk, she starts to feel sad. 

 

She lost Ali. She can’t even say she lost Ali, really, because she’s the one who decided they should break up. No matter which way she spins it, she still feels the pain deep within her bones. 

 

Since the breakup, she’s thrown herself into her sport. She allowed herself to be mopey for the first weekend, sure, but after that, she was focused and driven, figuring she could still fight to win another championship with her best friends, her family. 

 

She couldn’t even do that right. 

 

She gets drunker than she’s ever been. She hopes it’ll make her forget her sorrows and for a while, it does. But she can’t run from her feelings forever. When it’s clear she’s had way too much, Kelley offers to take her home while the rest of the team enjoys their night. 

 

“Come on, drunkie,” Kelley says as she wrangles Ashlyn into the backseat of their ride. She slides in behind Ashlyn, hoping more than anything that Ashlyn won’t throw up in this person’s car. 

 

When they get back home, Kelley somehow manages to get Ashlyn changed for bed and as she tucks Ashlyn into bed, Ashlyn looks at her with puppy eyes. 

 

“Stay with me. Don’t leave me.” 

 

Kelley doesn’t have the heart to say no. She promises to be back as soon as she has her own pajamas on and when she returns, she finds Ashlyn sitting against her headboard and in a completely different mood than the one she left her in. 

 

“You’re so good to me, Kel,” Ashlyn slurs. “Did you know that?”

 

“I did know that. You’re good to me too.” She sits next to Ashlyn in bed and pats her friend’s thigh. “Let’s try to sleep some of this off.”

 

Ashlyn curls up with Kelley, facing her instead of spooning. “You’re so pretty.” 

 

Kelley stifles a laugh and smiles. “You’re pretty too, Ash.” 

 

All of a sudden, Ashlyn makes a move like she’s going to kiss Kelley who pulls away a little. “Hey,” she says gently. “You don’t want this, I know you don’t. You just miss Ali.” 

 

“I don’t have Ali anymore. I don’t have anything.” 

 

Kelley gently brushes some hair from Ashlyn’s eyes. “You have me just not like that. You have so many wonderful friends and I know your family is behind you. Don’t give up hope on Ali just yet, okay? Wait until you talk things through when she gets home. Maybe she misses you as much as you miss her and you’ll be able to work things out.” 

 

“Doubt it. She’s probably already dating that bitch Sierra—Sienna—whatever the fuck her name is. She’ll come home with a new girlfriend and I’ll just be cast aside.” 

 

“Come on, Ash, do you really think that?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Come on, let’s try to get some sleep. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

 

~

 

Ali leads Sienna right to her bed. They sit side by side, both unsure of who will make the first move. In the end, it’s Sienna who kisses Ali first. She kisses Ali softly and pulls back with a big grin on her face. 

 

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” 

 

Ali doesn’t say anything, covering up her lack of response by kissing Sienna again. Sienna is a fine kisser, she learns, and she’s more into it than she ever thought she would be. She’s certainly not Ashlyn, nor does she know Ali the way Ashlyn does but it’s been months since Ali last kissed someone and she’s drunk and lonely. 

 

They make out a little in their seated position before Ali moves to lie back on her bed, pulling Sienna on top of her. Sienna lets out a surprised giggle at Ali’s sudden move, looking at Ali with fire in her eyes. 

 

Sienna holds herself over Ali as they start kissing again and more than once, Ashlyn’s name floats through Ali’s mind. When this happens, she forces her eyes open, reminding herself that it’s Sienna she’s kissing. “I like it when As—when people—kiss my neck,” Ali offers. 

 

“Oh, you do?” Sienna says, her tone full of amusement and arousal. “Like this?” she asks, demonstrating her skills as she kisses Ali’s neck briefly. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

Sienna starts kissing Ali’s neck and when Ashlyn’s name floats through Ali’s mind again, she opens her eyes, spotting the canvas displayed on her dresser. She never had the heart to take it down and now Ashlyn’s words stare her down as someone else kisses her neck. 

 

_ Love you more.  _

 

Ali closes her eyes tightly once again and tries to force all thoughts of Ashlyn from her mind. It’s no use, though, and she feels guilty for the position she’s in. “Stop,” she says gently. 

 

Sienna simply lifts her head up, still on top of Ali. “Something wrong? Did I bite your earlobe a little too hard?” 

 

“Not it’s just… I can’t. I still miss Ashlyn too much and as great as you are, you’re not her. I’m sorry but I’m still in love with her.” 

 

“Oh,” Sienna says. She climbs off of Ali and sits up in bed, prompting Ali to do the same. “I thought, um, I thought that you wanted this.” 

 

“I did—or, I thought I did—at first but I’m still in love with her and I want to try to work things out when I get home. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us for me to let this continue. I really value you as a friend but I just can’t. Not if I want any hope to get back together with her.” 

 

“Okay,” Sienna says. “I, uh, if you don’t mind, I might go back to the bar.” 

 

“Be safe.”

 

“I’ll take a cab so I don’t have to walk alone. Night, Ali.” 

 

“Night.” 

 

Ali feels guilty as Sienna leaves. She feels guilty that she might have led her on a little, though the beer really made her think she was into it tonight. Deep down, she knows she’s not interested in Sienna or anyone else, for that matter. Ashlyn still holds her heart and Ali knows it. 

 

When she’s certain Sienna is well back on her way to the bar, Ali gets out of bed and pulls the canvas off of her dresser, bringing it back to her bed. She traces every line of Ashlyn’s words, feeling as if she’s hearing Ashlyn say them again for the first time in a month. She traces the words three times over and when she’s done, she puts the canvas back where it belongs. 

 

As she gets ready for bed, Ali selects Ashlyn’s sweatshirt to wear. It’s been tucked away in her suitcase for the last month so she unzips her bag and pulls the Carolina blue crewneck from within her bag. Now three months into her semester in Germany, it doesn’t really smell like Ashlyn anymore but it feels like her and when Ali pulls it on, she feels Ashlyn’s presence wash over her. 

 

She curls up in bed, clutching the neckline of the sweatshirt in her fist as she falls into an uneasy sleep. She doesn’t know what things will be like with Sienna now. She hopes Sienna can put this behind them and that they can enjoy their last month in Germany together. More than that, though, she worries that maybe Ashlyn won’t be willing to work things out when she learns about this. 

 

When it comes down to it, if she loses Sienna as a friend, she’ll be sad but she’ll ultimately get over it. If Ashlyn doesn’t want to work things out, Ali isn’t sure how she’ll move on. 

 

Losing Sienna will hurt in the way that losing any friends hurts. Losing Ashlyn is something that will stick with her for a very, very long time and she’ll do anything to make it right. 

 

~

 

Ashlyn wakes with a pounding headache. She doesn’t remember a single thing from the midpoint of the night until she wakes up in bed. She’s not sure how she got home or how she got changed into pajamas. When she goes downstairs, she finds Kelley making pancakes and coffee, not nearly as hungover as Ashlyn is. 

 

“What happened last night? I don’t remember anything.”

 

“Well,” Kelley begins, turning and facing her friend with her spatula in hand, “do you want to know the short version or the full version?” 

 

“Full version.” 

 

“You got pretty plastered, as I’m sure you can tell.”

 

“Yep, I got that.” 

 

“I honestly have no idea what happened. One minute, you’re fine and asking me and Tobs about what we’ll do if we’re drafted into the league and the next, you’re throwing back Jack and Cokes like it’s your job.”

 

Ashlyn definitely remembers that part. “It was Christen. When she said how proud she’ll be of Tobin when she’s drafted. It just sounded so much like something Ali would’ve said to me that I started thinking missing her again and I wanted to make it stop.” 

 

“Okay, that makes a lot of sense considering what happened later in the night.”

 

Ashlyn buries her head in her hands. “Oh, god.” 

 

“Yeah,” Kelley says. She turns to flip the pancakes as she continues her story. “So you get fucking hammed. Like, worse than I’ve ever seen. When it became clear that you had way too much, I offered to take you home. So I get you into pajamas—no easy feat, by the way—and I’m about to go to my own room when you give me the worst puppy eyes ever and ask me to stay.” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “Not surprising. You know I need even more affection when I’m drunk.” 

 

“Boy do you ever,” Kelley says as she piles the pancakes onto a plate. She sets them in front of Ashlyn at the breakfast bar and starts a second batch while Ashlyn pulls three pancakes for herself and pours her coffee. “So I get into bed with you because I’m the best friend ever.”

 

“That you are.” 

 

“And you hit on me and try to kiss me.” 

 

Ashlyn chokes on her coffee. “I did what?”

 

“I get into bed with you and you’re all ‘Kel, you’re so nice to me. You’re so pretty.’ So I just think you’re being extra affectionate so I say the same back to you but them you lean forward and try to kiss me. I turned away and you’re not a fucking creep so you didn’t push. I tell you that you don’t want this because I know you didn’t really want it and that you were just trying it because you miss Ali. And then you start crying a little about how it still hurts and how you don’t have Ali and how she’s probably dating her friend from the program. And then I made you fall asleep.”

 

“God, Kel, I’m so sorry. I feel like a jackass.” 

 

“You’re not a jackass. Like I said, you didn’t push at all. You were just sad and lonely.” Kelley finishes the second batch of pancakes, leaving the plate on the counter for when their housemates finally wake up. She takes a seat next to Ashlyn and looks over at her friend. “Do you really think things are over forever with you and Ali? I still believe in you guys.” 

 

“I don’t know, Kel. It’s hard to gauge when I haven’t heard from her in a month, you know? But I’ll be willing to try if she is.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early update for you today. I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year. 
> 
> I know you probably hate that Ali made out with Sienna (I hate it too, don't worry) but it felt like something that had to happen. 
> 
> What do you think will happen with Sienna now? Will things be awkward?
> 
> Do you think Ali will tell Ashlyn what happened? If so, do you think Ashlyn will be upset or will she be smug that she was right? Or will she be happy to know that Ali stopped because she missed her? 
> 
> Lines of communication start to open next chapter. Who do you think will break the ice first and in what way? How do you think it'll go? 
> 
> Lots and lots of questions for you guys today haha but I'm curious to know where you think this is going.


	33. Chapter 33

  


Ali is anxious for days leading up to what would be her second anniversary with Ashlyn. She doesn’t know what, if anything, she should say or do. They haven’t spoken in nearly six weeks and for the first time since they met, Ali doesn’t know what to say.

 

Would it be weird to text her? Would it be weirder to let the day pass without any contact?

 

If she doesn’t text, would Ashlyn think that she doesn’t care? Would that be the final straw, something that makes this hurdle insurmountable? Does Ashlyn even want to hear from her?

 

The thoughts swirl in Ali’s head for days. Everytime she thinks she comes to a conclusion, she second guesses herself and changes her mind.

 

Her first instinct is that she should contact her in some way. It doesn’t have to be much but since she realized that she should’ve fought a little harder to keep Ashlyn, she feels as if she needs to extend the olive branch. It’s the right thing to do, she decides, but just an hour after making up her mind, she second guesses herself.

 

Ashlyn probably doesn’t want to hear from her, she decides. Ashlyn is the one who broke up with her and if she was interested in communicating on their anniversary, she could be the one to do it. If Ashlyn doesn’t say anything, Ali will let the day pass without being the one to reach out.

 

Back and forth she goes, unable to make a decision.

 

From the moment Ali wakes up on their would be anniversary, Ashlyn is on her mind. She thinks about how if she were at home, if things were normal, they’d have a nice, romantic day together. It’s a Thursday so they would both probably have class but once they were done, they’d go out for a nice dinner together and they’d probably walk by Old Well again, even though they don’t live on campus anymore.

 

They’d get a little tipsy on wine in Ashlyn’s room and kiss until kissing wasn’t enough. They’d strip each other of their clothes and they’d probably use some of the toys they purchased together for Valentine’s Day.

 

They would fall asleep naked and wrapped in each other’s arms and Ali would feel at home.

 

As Ali goes about her day in Germany, everything feels too cold and too lonely and for the first time, she can’t wait for her program to end.

 

She can hardly focus in class that day. It’s not unusual for her to have a hard time focusing in class on this particular date but this time, it’s not because she’s excited about what the evening will bring. It’s simply because she wishes she was back home with Ashlyn. She knows she won’t be able to sit around and do nothing all evening so she texts a lot of her friends in the program to arrange a girls night.

 

The only person who says they can’t come is Sienna, who has been feeling a little under the weather the last few days. She’s had a pretty bad head cold all week and isn’t up for a night out.

 

Things have been understandably awkward between Ali and Sienna ever since their kiss. Ali figures Sienna is probably a little hurt but, luckily, she doesn’t take it out on Ali. She’s a little more distant than normal but they’re roommates in a foreign country, so both women are aware that they need each other.

 

“Do you need anything before I go out?” Ali asks as she gets ready. “More tissues? Cold medicine?”

 

“Maybe a water and more tissues.”

 

Ali nods and gets a water out of their mini fridge and the extra box of tissues on top of Sienna’s dresser. “I shouldn’t be late.”

 

“Hopefully I can actually sleep tonight instead of feeling like my sinuses are trying to kill me,” Sienna says.

 

“Good luck with that,” Ali says. “I’ll be sure to be quiet when I get home.”

 

Ali meets with other girls from the program downstairs to make the short walk to the bar together. She orders a glass of red wine, swirling it around in her glass as she chats with her friends.

 

“Oh my god, did I tell you that I hooked up with Tyler last week?” Brooke says.

 

“What? No, I never heard that,” Ali says. “I mean, I’m not surprised because it always felt like you two were into each other.”

 

“Yeah, it was the night you went home early. It kind of felt like it was gonna happen for a while and he finally asked me to go back to his room with him. Dylan crashed with some other friends for the night so we definitely owe him a drink.”

 

“Do you think it’ll lead anywhere?” Ali asks.

 

Brooke shrugs, her glass against her lips as she takes a drink. “I don’t know. I would like it to, I think. He’s sweet.”

 

“Yeah, he is. You’d be cute together,” Ali says. She finishes off her first glass of wine, giving herself a moment before ordering a second one. “I, uh, Sienna and I kissed.”

 

“I know, she told me.”

 

“Did she seem upset? I feel really bad about how that all happened. I really like her but just, you know, as a friend. I was just drunk enough that it seemed like a good idea at the time but I could only think about Ashlyn. It just didn’t feel right.”

 

“She seemed to understand,” Brooke says. “She felt kind of bad if maybe you felt pressured into it because she was flirting with you but she understands that you’re not over your ex.”

 

It’s the first time anyone has ever referred to Ashlyn as her ex and it hits Ali like a freight train. She hates thinking of Ashlyn as her ex and to hear someone so casually mention it puts a lump in her throat that she tries to swallow down. She flags down the bartender and orders a second glass of wine, trying to gather her thoughts. “Today would be our second anniversary,” she says. “I’ve been wondering if I should contact her at all.”

 

“Hmm, usually not a good idea,” Brooke says. “But in your case, I don’t know. Do you want to get back together with her?”

 

“If she’s willing to, absolutely. I don’t think it’s a conversation to have while I’m still here in Germany but I’d like to try and work things out when I get home. It still feels so unfinished, you know? And I have no idea where she’s at with the whole thing because I haven’t heard from her.”

 

“Well, maybe if you text her, it’ll give you a better idea. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? If she doesn’t want to hear from you, she probably just won’t respond. But if she does respond and you can text back and forth a little, you can get a better idea of how willing she’d be to work things out.”

 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Ali says. “I don’t think I told you this but part of the reason we fought in the first place is that she could tell Sienna had a crush on me and I didn’t listen. She wasn’t, like, accusing me of anything but I think she was a little jealous of Sienna because we were doing all these things together and she could tell that Sienna liked me. I wonder a lot about what might have happened if I had reassured her more that nothing was gonna happen there. But now something has happened there and I worry that she’ll be upset by it and not want to work things out.”

 

“You’re broken up, Ali, you don’t have to feel guilty for what you did. Tell her what happened and how you stopped it because you couldn't stop thinking about her and if she really has a problem with you kissing someone else while you were broken up, then you probably shouldn’t want to be with her anyway.”

 

They both sip their drinks for a moment, Ali pondering her next move. Brooke is definitely right that she shouldn’t feel guilty about what happened with Sienna. As much as it pains her and as much as she hopes it’s not a permanent break, she’s not in a relationship right now. Ashlyn will probably be a little hurt to find out that her hunch was right and that Ali actually kissed Sienna, reciprocated her feelings no matter how briefly but she knows that if she’s honest with Ashlyn, they’ll have a chance to move forward together.

 

“So what should I do about texting her?” Ali asks

 

“Something simple, I think. Just throw the line out there and see if she bites.”

 

Ali drafts a text quickly, showing it to Brooke for approval before she hits send.

 

“Perfect.”

 

~

 

Ashlyn forces herself to go to class on their anniversary. Not only is it the last class before final exams so she might miss important information, she knows it won’t do her any good to stay at home. If she stays at home, she’ll be alone with her thoughts about their anniversary and that’s the last thing she wants.

 

She goes about her day as normally as possible and in the evening, she and her housemates make dinner together. It’s a loud, boisterous group and as they joke and dance around their kitchen, Ashlyn is finally distracted from her thoughts about Ali. At one point, Alex almost sets a kitchen towel on fire as she swings it around and it nearly goes into the flames on their gas stove. When they realize how narrowly they escaped disaster, everyone starts laughing and they place the towel a safe distance away from the stove.

 

Ashlyn is in the middle of an impromptu dance battle with Kelley when she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket. Two quick vibrations alerts her to a new text message, which she checks after Kelley is declared the winner of the dance battle.

 

Ashlyn has to double check that she’s not seeing things when she sees that Ali texted her. There in the notification on her lock screen is Ali’s name, followed by the glittery pink heart emoji and the two girls holding hands (Ashlyn never thought to take them out of Ali’s contact after the breakup).

 

She controls her expression the best she can and sneaks away into the bathroom.

 

_Been thinking about you a lot today._

 

It’s short and simple but it speaks volumes that at least Ashlyn wasn’t the only one having a bit of a rough time today. She re-reads the message, their first contact since the breakup. She types out a quick reply, hands shaking the entire time.

 

~

 

Ali is a bundle of nerves as she sends the text. She tries not to worry about it too much but after over a month without any contact, even this short text feels monumental. She leaves her phone face up on the bar, anxiously awaiting a reply.

 

“What if she doesn’t reply?”

 

Brooke shrugs. “Could mean a lot of things. It could just be as simple as she needs more time, you know?”

 

Ali finishes her third glass of wine as she waits for a response. She keeps her gaze fixed on her phone so when and if a response comes, she’ll see it immediately. It takes a few minutes, complete with a false alarm when she gets a text from Heather, and as she reads and replies to that text, a notification from Ashlyn shows up.

 

“Oh my god, she replied.”

 

She taps the banner notification and her phone opens to her text thread with Ashlyn.

 

_Glad I’m not the only one._

_How are you?_

 

Ali can’t help but smile as she types out a response.

 

_Pretty good. I’m starting to get a little home sick so I’m kind of excited to come home. How are you?_

 

_I’m okay. I don’t know if you saw but we lost in the quarter finals so that kind of sucked. Hopefully next year will be our year again._

_How’s Kyle? Is he still doing well?_

 

_He’s great I can’t wait to see him over Christmas._

 

Ali stops herself just short of saying that she can’t wait to see Ashlyn as well, unsure of how that would be received. Instead, she asks how Ashlyn’s friends are doing, though she knows the answers because she’s friends with them all on Facebook and follows them on other social media. She knows that Kelley and Tobin submitted themselves for the draft and she’s almost certain that they’ll both be selected, likely in the first round.

 

Ashlyn mentions that they’re preparing for the draft and Ali’s reply comes easily.

 

_Crazy to think that it’ll be you next year._

 

_Hopefully with one more national championship to my name_

 

They don’t talk for very long, both busy with their own evenings but the ice is broken and Ali feels better than she has in over a month. If they’re on speaking terms before she gets back home, she feels like the chances to get back together are much greater than they were before.

 

~

 

They text at least once a day for the next week. It’s not nearly as much as they texted before and they’ve yet to talk on the phone but it’s a step. The lines of communication are open and Ali is ready for the next one, which she discusses with her parents during a FaceTime session one night.

 

“Do you think it would be possible to change my return flight?”

 

“Oh, I’m sure it could be arranged,” Ken says. “Why?”

 

“I think I might fly directly to Florida. Ashlyn and I are talking again and, I don’t know, I want to try to work things out as soon as possible. I’m sure you guys are sick of hearing about how much I miss her.”

 

“Aren’t you supposed get back Christmas Eve? You’d miss Christmas with us and you’d have to make sure her family is okay with you being there,” Deb reasons.

 

“I know and I’ll still have to get my car from DC. Maybe we could just celebrate a few days late? I need to talk things through with her and I need to do it in person.”

 

“If her family is okay with the visit, I don’t have a problem with it,” Deb says. “I’m sure your brother will whine that he can’t open his presents until you get here but we can handle him.”

 

“Okay, I’ll check into it,” Ali says, grinning. “I’ll let you know what I come up with.”

 

As soon as she’s done talking to her parents, Ali sends Ashlyn’s grandma a text, figuring she should have her permission to intrude on their Christmas before she does anything to change her flight. Ali explains the situation, though she’s sure Ashlyn’s grandma knows everything, and says that it’s okay if she doesn’t want her to intrude on Christmas Eve and Christmas.

 

Instead of responding via text, Ali’s phone rings with a phone call from Ashlyn’s grandma.

 

“Ali, honey, you know you’re welcome here any time. If you can arrange it, we would love to have you.”

 

“Do you think Ashlyn would be okay with it?”

 

“I know she will be. She misses you.”

 

Ali grins at the reassurance. “You sure?”

 

“Absolutely. Let me know what you figure out, honey, we can send Chris to pick you up. She’ll be so surprised.”

 

When she’s done on the phone with Ashlyn’s grandma, she turns to the task of changing her flight. It’ll be no easy feat but she figures if all else fails, she can take her flight to DC as planned and immediately get on a flight to Orlando.

 

She calls the travel agent her parents used to book her flights and explains that she would like to change her return flight to go to Orlando instead of DC. She’s not sure if it’s possible and she’s heard stories about people trying to change flights and being charge outrageous fees. When her travel agent looks up her information however, she finds that Ali and her parents added the additional travel insurance so they could change her flight if need be.

 

The flight to Orlando is a little cheaper, which she can use as a credit for her flight to DC after her visit with Ashlyn. Within an hour of her initial conversation with her parents, Ali has permission from Ashlyn’s family to come and a ticket to Orlando.

 

~

 

Ali’s last weeks in Germany are bitter sweet. She’s fallen in love with the country and with Europe but she’s ready to go home and, more importantly, she’s ready to fix things with Ashlyn.

 

Ali’s flight leaves on December 23rd but with two layovers and flight times, she doesn’t land in Orlando until 4:00 in the evening on the 24th. She spend nearly an entire day on planes and in airports and she’s pretty jetlagged but the promise of seeing Ashlyn keeps her adrenaline going.

 

She gathers her three checked bags and her carryon onto a luggage cart and makes her way outside. Chris is idling under the sign of Ali’s airline and when he sees her, he gets out of the car to help her load her suitcases into the trunk.

 

“Thanks for picking me up,” Ali says. “I really appreciate it.”

 

“No problem at all. Ash has been texting me complaining that I’m not there yet. If she only knew.”

 

“Oh, god,” Ali laughs. “I think she’ll forgive you. Whether or not she forgives me is another story.”

 

“She’s not upset with you,” Chris says. “I think she was more upset with herself.”

 

“That makes two of us. I’m upset with myself too, I mean. I’m not upset with her.”

 

Chris doesn’t say much as he drives with is fine by Ali, who uses the time to look out the window and think about what she’ll say to Ashlyn. It’s all she’s thought about since her flight left Frankfurt and she’s imagined the conversation going so many different directions. The one thing she does know she wants to say is that she’s sorry and that she should have fought a little harder to keep Ashlyn during their argument.

 

The longer they drive, the more nervous Ali gets. By the time Chris parks in the driveway, Ali worries she might throw up. She tries to help Chris with her bags but he waves her off. “Just go see her. I can take care of these.”

 

“You sure? I can bring some in so you don’t have to make another trip.”

 

“Positive. Go see her.”

 

Ali makes her way up the front porch steps and takes a deep breath as she knocks on the door.

 

~

 

Ashlyn can’t believe Chris is running so late. It’s their family tradition to start Christmas Eve festivities around 3:00 in the afternoon and even at 5:30, he’s nowhere to be found.

 

“Are you sure we shouldn’t go check and make sure he’s alive?” Ashlyn asks as she helps her grandma set the table. Her grandpa is also nearby, filling his drink.

 

“He’s coming. He told me he had some errands to run first and he might be a little late.”

 

“Probably saved his shopping until the last minute,” Ashlyn grumbles.

 

“Probably. You know how he is.”

 

Just as Ashlyn is about to start putting out the silverware, the doorbell rings.

 

“Honey, would you get the door, please? We’re having an extra guest tonight.”

 

“Who is it?”

 

“Just go answer the door.”

 

Ashlyn does as she’s been told and goes to answer the front door. She swings the door open, expecting to see one of her grandparents’ friends or an extended family member that doesn’t usually attend these types of gatherings.

 

Instead, she finds Ali standing on the doorstep, looking more nervous than Ashlyn has ever seen her.

 

“Ali, what are you doing here?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you all love cliffhangers, right? ;)
> 
> this story is tantalizingly close to 500 comments which is very, very exciting because I've never hit 500 before.


	34. Chapter 34

  
  


Ashlyn’s words hang in between them for a moment as Ali’s presence sinks in. Ali looks so nervous that she might throw up while Ashlyn has never been more caught off guard in her life. She just got over a cold a few days ago and part of her wonders if this is a fever dream.

 

“I had to see you,” Ali says. “I couldn’t wait so I changed my flight home to come here. Is this okay?” 

 

“Yes, of course. Uh, come in.” 

 

Ashlyn leads her inside, giving Ali a moment to greet her grandma and grandpa. She watches Ali interact with them, noticing the way they seemed to be expecting her. When Chris comes through the door with two large suitcases, muttering something about how there must be too many pairs of shoes in them, Ashlyn realizes that her entire family was in on this. 

 

When Ali turns back around, she sees the confusion on Ashlyn’s face. “I wanted to talk to you so I texted gram and she arranged for Chris to pick me up at the airport.” 

 

“Let’s go to my room,” Ashlyn suggests. She’s still a little in shock about this turn of events but Ali looks so good, despite what must have been a very long flight, and Ashlyn is happy to see her. 

 

Ashlyn takes Ali to her room upstairs where they can talk privately, away from her curious family. When they’re both inside, Ashlyn turns to close her door while Ali takes a seat on the bed. Ashlyn sits across from her, both sitting with their legs crossed underneath them. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” Ali says, tears welling in her eyes. “I missed you so much.”  

 

“I missed you too.” 

 

“I should've tried harder. I should’ve fought more to keep you. I don’t know why I didn’t, really, I was an asshsole. These last two months have been so, so hard and I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” 

 

“I know, they’ve been hard for me too.” Ashlyn says. She reaches out to take Ali’s hand and when she does, Ali catches a glimpse of the black and gold bracelet on her wrist. 

 

Ali gently nudges Ashlyn’s sleeve up to look at the bracelet before pulling her own sleeve up to show Ashlyn hers. “I never took mine off,” Ali says. 

 

“Neither did I. It didn’t feel right.” 

 

Ashlyn looks Ali up and down, still trying to convince herself that this is really happening, that Ali is really here and sitting on her bed. Tears well in her eyes, which she tries in vain to wipe away. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Ali asks. 

 

“I just can’t believe you’re here. I didn't think you’d want to forgive me. I shouldn’t have been so needy, I’m really sorry.” 

 

Seeing Ashlyn cry makes Ali cry again. She leans forward, wrapping Ashlyn in her arms, feeling like she’s come home in more ways than one. Being back in the US feels like home but there’s no comparison to holding Ashlyn in her arms again. “You have no reason to be sorry. I should’ve been more considerate of how you were feeling. I knew me being gone would be hard for you and I know there’s more I could have done. You have absolutely no reason to be sorry.” 

 

They hold each other in silence for over a minute, both of them crying as they rock back and forth a little. Finally, it’s Ashlyn who breaks the silence. “I missed you so much.” 

 

“I missed you too, baby,” Ali says. The pet name slips off of her tongue easily and when she realizes what she said, she pulls back a little. She has a few things she needs to get off of her chest before this goes any further. “I, um, I have something to tell you.” 

 

“Okay,” Ashlyn says cautiously. 

 

“You were right about Sienna. After you and I broke up, she got super flirty with me. I was sad and the attention was nice so I kind of let her do it. One night—”

 

“You don’t have to disclose anything if you don’t want,” Ashlyn cuts in. “We were broken up.”

 

Ali takes Ashlyn’s hands in her own, Ashlyn’s use of past tense not lost on her. “I know but I don’t want any secrets between us. I’ll feel better if it’s out in the open.” 

 

“Okay,” Ashlyn says, nodding. Truthfully, she really doesn’t want to hear that Ali hooked up with someone else, especially if that someone else is Sienna, but Ali has a point about not keeping secrets. If they’re going to move on from this together, they need everything out in the open.

 

“One night, I got pretty drunk. I was super lonely and she was flirting so we went back to our room and started kissing. It was fine, I guess, but I stopped her when I saw the painting you made me on my dresser because I could only think about you. Everything was just off with her. I would say it was like coming home from vacation and finding all of your furniture moved slightly but that’s not a good analogy at all because you always feels like coming home whereas she felt like… a nice airbnb. Fine but fleeting.” 

 

“Okay, you lost me,” Ashlyn says. “Are you saying you had feelings for her or not?” 

 

“What I’m saying is that I’m in love with you and I never stopped being in love with you. I thought I could distract myself with her but you were the only one I could think about and we didn’t get farther than kissing.” 

 

“I still love you too,” Ashlyn says, breathing a sigh of relief that Ali didn’t actually feel anything for Sienna. “I, um, I tried to hit on Kelley. I was completely shitfaced so I don’t actually remember anything but she said I tried to kiss her. She said she stopped me and told me I was just missing you and that it’s not something I really wanted. I still can’t believe I did that but she’s been so great about it.”

 

Ali laces her fingers together with Ashlyn’s, almost feeling like nothing has changed. But things have changed and although she hates that they broke up, she thinks she learned from the last two months. She learned that she should’ve fought for Ashlyn more, that if she could have reassured her more, they might not have broken up in the first place. She also learned that she never wants to lose Ashlyn again. She’s determined to make this work, to make their relationship stronger because of this break. 

 

Ashlyn pulls Ali into her arms, holding her close. It’s been a long four months since they last got to hold one another and Ali starts crying again as she realizes just how right it feels to be in Ashlyn’s arms. “Can I kiss you?” she whispers, pulling back just enough to look into Ashlyn’s eyes. 

 

Ashlyn nods, glancing down at Ali’s lips for a split second before kissing her gently. She cradles the back of Ali’s head with one hand while the other rests on Ali’s thigh. They kiss only for a few seconds before Ashlyn pulls away to wipe Ali’s tears, which she could feel on Ali’s cheeks as they kissed. 

 

“Sorry,” Ali laughs. “I just missed you too much.” 

 

“Trust me, I’m just barely holding it together too,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Where do we go from here? Can we give this another chance?” 

 

“I think we’d be stupid not to,” Ashlyn says. “Be my girlfriend again?” 

 

Ali nods and pulls Ashlyn in for another kiss. This time, both keep their emotions in check as they get kiss slowly, savoring each and every second together. 

 

Ali isn’t sure if it’s the four month separation, the two month breakup, or the fact that she kissed someone else during that period but nothing has ever felt as right as kissing Ashlyn in this moment. She’s back where she belongs and there’s nothing she wouldn’t do to make sure they get it right this time. 

 

When Ashlyn pulls away to catch her breath, she rests her forehead against Ali’s, a massive grin on her face. “I love you.” 

 

“I love you too,” Ali says. “Say it again, it’s been too long.” 

 

Ashlyn chuckles a bit but complies with Ali’s request. “I love you.” 

 

Ali kisses Ashlyn quickly, mumbling “I love you too” against Ashlyn’s lips. 

 

“I hate to say it because I’m really enjoying be locked in my room with you but we should go downstairs and eat. I’m not sure how my grandparents would feel if we never came back downstairs.” 

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ali says. “But if you don’t mind, I think I might change out of my travel clothes and into something a little better for Christmas Eve with your family. I just have to get one of my suitcases from Chris.” 

 

Ashlyn takes Ali downstairs, where they find all four of Ali’s suitcases and her backpack in the entryway. “Please tell me we don’t have to lug all of those upstairs,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Nope, I think I packed enough stuff in my carry on. I tried to pack for my couple of days here in my carry on so I wouldn’t have to worry about my checked bags too much.” 

 

“Only a couple of days?” Ashlyn asks, more than a little disappointed that this won’t be an extended visit until they go back to school together. She takes Ali’s carry on upstairs for her, setting it on her bed and stepping aside so Ali can look for something to wear. 

 

“Yeah, I go home the 26th to celebrate Christmas with my family and get my car to drive back down to school.” 

 

“I hate that you have to leave again.” 

 

“Just a few days and then we’ll be back at school, okay?” 

 

Ashlyn nods as Ali starts going through her suitcase, picking out a maroon sweater and black leggings, stripping out of her Kappa Delta quarter zip and joggers. Ashlyn watches Ali as she changes, breath catching a little in her throat as she stares. 

 

“You better stop looking at me like that or we’ll never make it downstairs like you wanted,” Ali warns.

 

“Can’t help it,” Ashlyn says, shrugging. “I can’t wait until it’ll be acceptable to ditch my family and come up here with you.” 

 

“Well, I am pretty jet lagged so I’m sure it won’t be long before I need to sleep, or so we’ll tell your family. They’ll be okay if we share your room?”

 

“I think so but only because they love you so much. If you were anyone else, maybe not.” 

 

Together, they go downstairs and join Ashlyn’s family at the kitchen table, where everyone is about halfway through their meals. Ashlyn’s entire family is here so Ali is careful to be on her best behavior. They ask a lot about her time Germany, which Ali gladly talks about. No one brings up the breakup or questions if they’re back together, for which Ali is grateful. She knows that she and Ashlyn have more to talk about but as far as everyone else is concerned, it’s behind them.  

 

When dinner is finished, Ashlyn’s grandparents gather everyone around the tree, sitting in their recliners while Tammye prepares to pass gifts out. 

 

“Every year we each get a pair of pajamas on Christmas Eve,” Ashlyn explains. She holds Ali’s hand in her lap, dropping it only when her mom passes her a present. 

 

Once all of Ashlyn’s family has a present in their laps, they all make a move to open them but Ashlyn’s grandma stops them. “Wait, there should be one more,” she says. 

 

Tammye looks under the tree again, finding a gift with Ali’s name on top that somehow slipped almost completely under the couch. She passes it to Ali as Ali grins. “Really?” she asks, looking over at the elder Harris woman.

 

“You think I would have you as a guest in my house over Christmas and not include you?” 

 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

 

“Say ‘thank you, gram’ and open your gift.”

 

“Thank you, gram,” Ali laughs. 

 

Everyone opens their gifts at the same time, the floor becoming littered in discarded wrapping paper, gift boxes, and tissue paper. Ali’s pajama set consists of flannel pajama pants in white, red, and green and a matching red thermal top. When she peeks over at Ashlyn’s gift, she sees that they’ve been given near matching sets. Their pajama pants have the same plaid pattern but Ashlyn’s pants are black, red, and green with a matching black thermal top. 

 

“Now she usually makes everyone change into these pajamas and watch a movie together,” Ashlyn whispers in Ali’s ear. “Are you up for that or do you want to go to bed?” 

 

“How about we give it about 30 minutes and then we’ll sneak away.” 

 

They once again go up to Ashlyn’s bedroom together and change into their new pajamas, giggling about how they’re almost matching. 

 

“She would get us matching ones,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“I can’t believe how prepared she was.” 

 

“Oh, I can,” Ashlyn says. “How long ago did you tell her you were coming?” 

 

“Uh, about two weeks ago. When we started talking a little after our anniversary I knew I didn’t want to wait to see you so I ran this by my parents and then your family and then I called to change my flight.”

 

“You went through all that hassle for me?”

 

Ali smiles as she pulls Ashlyn in for a hug, resting her head against her chest. “I did it for us.” 

 

“Are you sure we can’t just lock ourselves up here while they’re distracted by the movie?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Positive. We should at least make an appearance down there. Don’t worry, I’ll tell them I need to go to bed soon enough and you can follow me up.” 

 

Ali watches less than a half an hour of the movie before she lets out a big, dramatic yawn and stretches her arms above her head. She quietly excuses herself for the night, stopping to hug Ashlyn’s grandparents and thanking them for her gift before she makes her way upstairs. Figuring she has a few minutes before Ashlyn sneaks away to join her, she strips all her clothes and curls up under the covers, scrolling through her phone so she doesn’t fall asleep. 

 

She’s been looking through her phone for about five minutes when Ashlyn comes through the door, locking it behind her. “Sleeping already?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“No,” Ali says. “Just a little cold.” 

 

“Cold? How could you be cold in these damn pajamas?” 

 

“Why don’t you pull the comforter down and find out,” Ali says. She starts a playlist on a low volume as Ashlyn tugs the comforter away, finding Ali completely naked. 

 

“Al,” Ashlyn whines.

 

“Figured I’d save us some time,” Ali says. She discards her phone on the nightstand and lies on her back, watching as Ashlyn quickly strips her own clothes. She looks Ashlyn up and down, desire stirring in her belly. She’s so focused on the rest of Ashlyn’s body that she hardly notices the large tattoo adorning her side. When she finally notices it, her eyes go wide. “What’s that?” 

 

Ashlyn looks down at her tattoo, gently running her fingers over the black ink. “Surprise, I got a tattoo. It’s not finished yet because it still has to be colored in but I’m obsessed with it.” 

 

“Is it the one for your grandma?” Ali recognizes certain parts of the design from Ashlyn’s own sketches for a tattoo dedicated to her grandma. 

 

“Yep. Turns out, she still hates it even though it’s dedicated to her. I swear that woman would have whooped my ass if I didn’t show it to her over FaceTime before she saw it in person.” 

 

“Come here,” Ali says. She rolls over to her side, grinning as Ashlyn settles into bed next to her. She runs her fingers over the black ink, familiarizing herself with this new addition to her girlfriend’s body. At the touch, Ashlyn’s skin erupts in goose bumps and Ali smirks. 

 

Ashlyn allows Ali to study her tattoo for a minute before offering more explanation about the tattoo. “Kelley made me get it,” she says. “Right after we broke up, I was super mopey and she said I should schedule a tattoo appointment to have something to look forward to. I don’t think I would have it yet if it weren’t for our breakup.” 

 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Ali says. “If I could turn back time, I would’ve done everything I could so we didn’t have to go through that.” 

 

“No, no, I didn’t tell you that to make you feel bad,” Ashlyn says. She pulls Ali in for a kiss, her hand immediately going to Ali’s hip as they kiss. The deeper they kiss, the more Ali starts shaking. It’s subtle at first but by the time Ashlyn goes to bite Ali’s lip, it’s so pronounced that she has to stop. “Are you okay?” 

 

“Yeah, sorry, this is just a lot,” Ali says. Tears sting at her eyes again and she throws her head back a little in frustration. “Sorry, I don’t mean to keep crying. I just sometimes thought that I might never get to kiss you again so this is a little overwhelming. I messed up, Ash, and I’m so sorry I didn’t try harder. You’re so important to me and I can’t believe I was such an idiot.” 

 

Ashlyn kisses where tears are streaming down Ali’s cheeks, trying and failing to keep her own emotions in check. “It’s okay, baby, I’m right here. I’m right here and we’re not gonna lose each other again.” 

 

Still shaking a little, Ali kisses Ashlyn again. A quiet fire burns in her belly as they kiss soft and slow, neither woman getting too aggressive with the other. After about fifteen minutes, Ali gently guides Ashlyn’s hand in between her legs before snaking her hand in between Ashlyn’s. 

 

They have to be almost completely silent and for the first time ever, it’s a pretty easy task. Both women are so overcome with emotions that they hardly make a sound as they stroke each other in unison. 

 

“I missed this so much, baby,” Ashlyn whispers, kissing Ali gently. 

 

Ali looks deep in Ashlyn’s eyes as she feels her orgasm building. “I love you,” she whispers. “I’m so close.” 

 

“I love you too.” 

 

The closer Ali gets to her orgasm, the less she’s able to concentrate on making Ashlyn come. By the time she’s about to come, her hand has almost completely stopped moving and she shakes in Ashlyn’s arms. She lets out a contented sigh as she comes, nuzzling into Ashlyn’s neck. “You’re perfect,” she mutters, pressing a kiss to Ashlyn’s collarbone. “Do you want to come now?” 

 

“Please,” Ashlyn breathes. 

 

Ali starts stroking Ashlyn again, moving a little more vigorously than before. With one hand in between Ashlyn’s thighs, she uses the other to stimulate her nipples, switching back and forth as Ashlyn starts letting out shaky breaths. 

 

“So good, baby,” Ashlyn encourages. “Don’t stop.” 

 

Ali knows tonight is not the time for teasing so she keeps going on the same pace, intent on making Ashlyn feel good. It’s been too long since they last had sex so it’s no surprise that it doesn’t take very long before Ashlyn comes against Ali’s fingers, whispering Ali’s name. 

 

“Okay, now I actually am exhausted,” Ali says. “It feels like three in the morning to me right now.” 

 

They put their clothes back on long enough to take turns getting ready for bed in the bathroom but once they’re both back in Ashlyn’s room, Ashlyn has a request. “Can we sleep naked tonight? I need to feel your skin.” 

 

Even if Ali wanted to say no, there’s no way she could turn Ashlyn down right now. She makes sure Ashlyn’s door is locked and pulls her pajamas off again, depositing them on Ashlyn’s desk chair where she can pull them on again in the morning. 

 

They curl up together but instead of spooning, they face each other and Ali buries her head against Ashlyn’s chest. Ashlyn is warm and her skin is softer than Ali remembers. She breathes in the familiar scent that is quintessentially Ashlyn and feels like she’s home. 

 

“Did I tell you how happy I am that you’re here?” Ashlyn asks as she lazily runs a hand through Ali’s hair. 

 

“Maybe once or twice,” Ali says. “Your grandma assured me it would be fine but I was so nervous that you wouldn’t want to see me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if that happened.” 

 

“I’m always happy to see you,” Ashlyn says. “Trust me, I was a mess without you.” 

 

“I really hated being broken up with you. Can we not do that again? It really sucked.” 

 

“Yeah, it was the worst. Let’s just stay together forever so we never have to go through that again.” 

 

“Deal,” Ali grins. 

 

The jetlag and the long flights finally catch up to her and she starts drifting off to sleep as Ashlyn plays with her hair. 

 

Ashlyn, meanwhile, has so much adrenaline that she’s pretty sure she could run a marathon right now. She continues playing with Ali’s hair long after she’s certain Ali has fallen asleep. When she woke up this morning, she never would have imagined this turn of events and she still can’t believe that Ali is here in her arms. Nearly three hours after Ali fell asleep, Ashlyn watches the clock on her nightstand strike midnight and presses a gentle kiss to the top of Ali’s head. “Merry Christmas, baby. Love you more.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you all love me again, right? 
> 
> I want to know all your feelings about this one :)


	35. Chapter 35

  
  


Ashlyn has the best dream of her life. She dreams that Ali came to Florida and that they got back together—on Christmas Eve, no less. She dreams that Ali wakes her up by kissing down her body and works hickies into the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs. She never wants to wake up from this dream. 

 

Eventually, she forces herself to open her eyes and as she gets her bearings, she realizes that none of that was a dream. Ali really is here and best of all, she really is kissing the inside of her thighs.

 

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” Ashlyn says. “I thought that was a dream.” 

 

“Not a dream,” Ali says. “I’m on Germany time so I’ve been awake for, like, an hour already. There was only so long I could look at your body before I started touching you.”

 

“What time is it?” 

 

“4:00.” 

 

“Jesus, Al,” Ashlyn sighs. “You better make me the biggest cup of coffee.” 

 

“Deal. Now will you shut up? I’m busy.” 

 

Ashlyn laughs as she glances down at where Ali has already worked a few hickies into her thighs. She’s not usually such a heavy sleeper but she thought that Ali being here was a dream so she thinks her body refused to wake up for as long as possible. Now that she’s awake, however, she realizes that this is better than any dream. 

 

Ali kisses her way back up Ashlyn’s body, giving her a long and passionate good morning kiss. When they pull apart to catch their breath, Ali pulls back a little to start tracing the lines of Ashlyn’s tattoo while the other hand plays with Ashlyn’s nipples. 

 

“You’re gonna know every line of it better than I do,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“That’s the plan,” Ali replies. She moves to kiss Ashlyn again, taking Ashlyn’s lip between her teeth. She grinds down against Ashlyn’s hips as they kiss, desire burning intensely. “I need to taste you,” she says. 

 

Ashlyn smirks as Ali kisses her way back down her body. She bends her legs at the knees and spreads out so Ali will have room to work. Ali settles onto her stomach and nips at the fresh hickies she left on Ashlyn’s thighs. She kisses her way to where Ashlyn needs her most, finally tasting her girlfriend after four months apart. 

 

“Holy shit,” Ashlyn groans. 

 

Ali smirks at Ashlyn’s reaction as she continues flicking her tongue over Ashlyn’s clit. She can feel Ashlyn’s skin heat up and she’s wet to the point that Ali has to pause to clean her before she drips onto her sheets. 

 

“Fuck, I love you,” Ashlyn says. 

 

It’s only been about a minute but Ali can tell that Ashlyn is close. There will be time for long, drawn out sex when they have a little more privacy back on campus but for now, she wants to make Ashlyn come as quickly as possible. She ups her pace, which works wonders as Ashlyn tangles her hands in Ali’s hair and comes within seconds. 

 

“Ali, God,” she moans. 

 

Ali smiles as she moves from between Ashlyn’s legs and wipes her face with the back of her hand. She kisses Ashlyn, knowing how much Ashlyn loves to taste herself on her tongue after she’s gone down on her.

 

When they part, Ali smirks. “I didn’t think you were gonna come that fast,” she teases. 

 

Ashlyn blushes a little. “Sorry, I’ve hardly even masturbated recently. I was too sad.” 

 

“Ahh, well, I did it because I was sad,” Ali says as she curls up next to Ashlyn. She lightly traces the lines of Ashlyn’s tattoo again as Ashlyn recovers from her orgasm.

 

“Did you…” Ashlyn pauses, not sure if she should ask the question. “Did you think about me?”

 

“Sometimes that was more painful than others but most of the time, yes, I thought about you. Other times I tried to stop thinking as much as possible. Usually when I was done I would be a little sad because I would start to think about how we were broken up but I think it helped me work through a lot of my emotions about it.” 

 

“So you thought about me eating you out, huh?” 

 

“God, yes. I’ve missed it so much.” 

 

“Wouldn’t it be cruel if I said we should get up before I eat you out?” Ashlyn teases. 

 

“I would kill you,” Ali says. “Please, baby, I don’t think I’ll last any longer than you did.” 

 

“Oh, I think you’ll last as long as I want you to last,” Ashlyn says, eliciting a groan from Ali, who knows she’s about to be tortured. 

 

Ashlyn starts slowly making her way down Ali’s body, trailing kisses all over Ali’s skin. She doesn’t often leave Ali many hickies but they definitely have to make up for lost time and she can’t really help herself. She wants a physical reminder that Ali is hers once again—one that only they will see. She leaves a couple of hickies on each of Ali’s breasts and when she finally makes it down to Ali’s hip bones, she nips Ali’s skin a little too hard, soothing it by sucking until there’s a deep red mark. She does the same on Ali’s other hipbone and by the time she’s done, she’s pretty sure Ali might come without even being touched. 

 

“Baby, please,” Ali whines. “I didn’t tease you like this.” 

 

Ashlyn pauses a moment, checking out the marks she’s left on Ali’s body. “Okay, now I get why you love marking me up.” 

 

“It’s good, right?” 

 

Ashlyn gently brushes the marks on Ali’s hips, admiring her work. “You’re mine. Say you’re mine,” she demands, brushing a hand in between Ali’s legs and pulling it away. “You are no one else’s.” 

 

“I’m yours, I’m all yours,” Ali whimpers. “Please show me I’m yours.” 

 

Ashlyn settles onto her stomach, wrapping her arms around Ali’s thighs. Ali is incredibly worked up and even though Ashlyn wants to torture her a little more, she decides to show her some mercy. They don’t have much time before the rest of her family will be up and they definitely need to shower. If they play their cards right, they might even be able to sneak a shower together. 

 

She eats Ali out and when Ali’s moans get a little too loud, she reaches up with one hand to cover Ali’s mouth. This simple action seems to turn Ali on even more and she moans against Ashlyn’s hand. 

 

Everything else Ali says (or moans) is muffled by Ashlyn’s hand and while Ashlyn can’t make any of it out, she knows Ali feels good. She hates that Ali so much as kissed Sienna while they were broken up but knowing that Sienna never made Ali feel this good puts a little extra fire in her belly and gives her a boost of confidence. No one else gets to know Ali like this and in Ashlyn’s mind, that’s one of the best feelings in the world. 

 

Ashlyn draws things out for a little while, finally increasing her pace and pressure after a few minutes. Ali comes with a moan against her hand, bucking her hips a little as Ashlyn cleans her with her tongue. 

 

“God, I missed that,” Ali says, eyes closed in bliss. 

 

“If we’re quiet, we might be able to shower together before anyone wakes up,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali is out of bed in an instant. She pulls her pajamas on and searches through her carryon for her wet brush. The rest of her toiletries (sans toothbrush which is already in the bathroom) are in one of her checked bags so she’ll have to settle for using Ashlyn’s shampoo. 

 

They tiptoe into the bathroom together which, luckily, is right next to Ashlyn’s room. Ashlyn starts a nice, hot shower and takes her turn brushing her teeth after Ali. “We have to be super quiet,” Ashlyn warns. “My grandparents will be awake in less than an hour and Chris is right across the hall.” 

 

“Did your parents stay last night?” Ali asks. She knows Ashlyn sometimes stays with one of them when she’s home but she mostly stays with her grandparents. 

 

“No, they both went home. They’ll be back in a few hours.” 

 

“Do they always do Christmas together? I feel like that’s unusual for divorced couples.” 

 

“Uh, not in the early years, they didn’t. But as we got older and they were more removed from all their issues as a couple, they decided that the best thing for everyone was to celebrate together. That way, Chris and I don’t have to choose between them or, like, alternate which one gets Christmas and which has Christmas Eve. How does the water feel?”

 

Ali reaches a hand into the shower, the warm water splashing against her skin. “Perfect.” She gets in first, followed closely by Ashlyn. 

 

“I love you,” Ali says, hugging Ashlyn underneath the water. 

 

“Love you more,” Ashlyn says. She pulls Ali in for a kiss, her hands on Ali’s ass. They kiss underneath the water for a few minutes for Ashlyn pushes Ali against the shower wall. Ali didn’t seem to be expecting the move at all so the back of her head hits the wall. “Shit, sorry, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Ali says. “Fuck me.” 

 

Ashlyn starts kissing Ali again, running her fingers through Ali’s folds. She works quickly, knowing they don’t have much time. She’s in a bit of a hurry but she doesn’t want it to be obvious so she’s a little more aggressive than normal, which she knows Ali always loves. 

 

It works like a charm. 

 

Ali buries her face against Ashlyn’s shoulder, biting down a little so she doesn’t get too loud. She rides Ashlyn’s hand, eyes closed in pleasure. After a minute or two, Ashlyn slips her fingers into her, stroking her g-spot and using her palm to continue stimulating her clit. Another minute of the dual sensation is all Ali needs before she comes, biting down on Ashlyn’s shoulder once again. 

 

“Do I need to hold you up?” Ashlyn teases. Ali’s legs are shaking quite a bit and she’s afraid that if she moves, Ali will fall to the ground. 

 

“Maybe for just a sec,” Ali laughs. “Fuck, that was so good.” 

 

“You love when I’m aggressive.” 

 

“God, who wouldn’t? So, so good.” 

 

They take a break to take turns washing each other’s hair before Ali turns the tables and pushes Ashlyn against the wall. She too works quickly so they can hopefully sneak out of the bathroom without being caught. She works Ashlyn expertly, knowing exactly the pace and pressure to use to work Ashlyn up. When she has Ashlyn on the edge, she quickens her pace a little, kissing Ashlyn’s neck as Ashlyn comes around her fingers. 

 

“Okay, so this is officially the best morning ever,” Ashlyn says. “Two orgasms each by 6:00? Incredible.” 

 

“Santa’s not the only one that came,” Ali says, eliciting an exasperated laugh from Ashlyn. 

 

“Oh my god,” Ashlyn laughs, grabbing at her forehead like Ali’s comment gave her a headache. “You’re such a weirdo.” 

 

“But I’m your weirdo.” 

 

“That you are,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

They share one more kiss in the shower before they turn of the water and get dressed. Just in case, Ashlyn goes out into the hall first, poking her head back into the bathroom to tell Ali that it’s safe for her to follow. They cuddle in bed for a little while longer, catching each other up on things they missed. 

 

After about fifteen minutes, Ali finally poses a question she’s been wondering about. More than once during the breakup, she wondered if Ashlyn broke up with her so she could be free to sleep with other people. No matter what, she’s still fully invested in their relationship but she does want to know if Ashlyn slept with anyone else while they were broken up. She figures she didn’t since she didn’t mention anything during their conversation last night but she wants to know for sure. 

 

“Hey, babe,” Ali says. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Did you, um, did you hook up with anyone while we were broken up? I’m just curious and no matter what, I want you to know that I’m fully committed to you and making this work.” 

 

Ashlyn gently tilts Ali’s head up so she can look in her eyes. “No. I was too sad to even think about anyone else. I mean, there was the Kelley incident but she put a halt to that before I even kissed her. And, again, that was only because I missed you so much.” 

 

“Okay,” Ali says. “Sometimes I thought about how bad it would hurt if you moved on. I mean, girls always want to get with you so it would’ve been so easy for you to find someone else.” 

 

“They can want me all they want but I can assure you that I only want you. Forever.”

 

“Okay, good,” Ali grins. “Can we go get some coffee now?” 

 

“Please,” Ashlyn says. “My grandparents might actually have some ready.”

 

They go downstairs together, finding Ashlyn’s grandparents already drinking their morning coffee at the table. “You girls are up early,” Ashlyn’s grandma says. 

 

“Germany time,” Ali says. “And I wasn’t about to let her sleep in without me.” 

 

“And we have presents to open,” Ashlyn says as she pours two cups of coffee from the pot her grandparents prepared. 

 

“Oh, that reminds me that I have something for everyone in one of my suitcases,” Ali says. “Do you have wrapping paper and stuff I could use? I have gifts for everyone.”

 

“Of course I do but you didn’t have to get us anything, sweetie.” 

 

“I wanted to,” Ali says. As soon as she changed her flight to be in Florida for Christmas, she figured she better not come empty handed. She picked everyone in Ashlyn’s close family (grandparents, parents, Chris, and Corey) a coffee mug from Germany, figuring she could never go wrong with something like that. She knows they all love coffee as much as Ashlyn does so they should all get good use out of them. 

 

“Did you get me anything?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Uh, I got you almost as much stuff as I got myself,” Ali laughs. “I have stuff from your birthday, even. Most of it I’ll give you later because there’s a lot of it and there’s no way I’m wrapping it all but I can wrap up your Christmas presents.” 

 

“I, um, I didn’t know you would be here so I don’t have anything for you,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“I didn’t expect you to have anything, it’s okay,” Ali says. “We can always do some online shopping later and find something I want.” 

 

“Oh god,” Ashlyn laughs. “I’ll need to take out more student loans.” 

 

When they’re done with their coffee, Ashlyn’s grandma shows Ali to her small sewing room just off of the living room. She hasn’t put all of her wrapping paper and gift boxes away yet and there’s a chair at a folding table. 

 

“Use whatever you need.” 

 

“Thanks,” Ali grins. She follows her back out of the room and wheels her suitcase back into the sewing room. She wraps each mug in a small box but there aren’t enough of that size so for the last two, she puts them in gift bags, which she decides can be for Chris and Corey. For Ashlyn’s grandparents and parents, she also has a small wooden nutcracker for each of them. She purchased them at a Christmas market in Frankfurt just days before coming home. They’re all hand carved and hand painted and she picked up a couple for her parents as well. 

 

For Ashlyn, she wraps some of the smaller things she purchased throughout her travels. She has a wood phone case that she thinks Ashlyn will love as well as a a bowtie she found at the Christmas market. 

 

For her big (rather, expensive) present, she wraps the Balr brand shirt she picked up at the store in Amsterdam. It’s a solid back shirt with the name printed in white. She picked the same shirt for Kyle, the only difference being that Kyle’s is black on black. It’s certainly more than she could normally afford to spend on a shirt but her parents sent her the money for Kyle’s and most of the money for Ashlyn’s to help her out a little, on the condition that Ali tell Ashlyn the shirt is from all of them.

 

By the time she’s done wrapping everything, the rest of Ashlyn’s family has arrived (or in Chris’s case, woke up) and they’re all chatting in the living room. She stacks her gifts as carefully as possible and carries them out to the tree. 

 

Ashlyn gets up to help Ali put her presents under the tree, shaking everything that has her name on it.  “Sounds like clothes,” she says when she finally gets her hand on the box with her shirt in it.

 

“Stop shaking it or I’m keeping it for myself,” Ali says. 

 

“Feisty,” Ashlyn teases.

 

“You’re such a pest,” Ali says.

 

“You love me.” 

 

“I do,” Ali says, standing on her toes a little to give her a quick kiss. 

 

Just as they’re about to sit down on the couch to open presents, they decide to take some photos in front of the tree. Ali takes one of just Ashlyn and her family before Ashlyn asks Ali to get her selfie stick so she can get in the photo too. When they’re done with the family photos, Ali and Ashlyn pose together in their matching pajamas and their arms looped around each other’s waists. 

 

As they wait for Ashlyn’s parents to sort through the presents, Ashlyn opens instagram and posts the photo of the entire family, including Ali. She keeps the caption simple, comprised of just the Christmas tree and Santa emojis. 

 

She uploads the photo and when she’s done, she wraps her arm around Ali. “Merry Christmas, baby.” 

 

“Merry Christmas,” Ali grins. “Will you text me the pictures your mom took of us?” 

 

Ashlyn takes her phone into her hand again and sends Ali the three different shots they took of just the two of them. When Ali receives the text, she too opens instagram, selecting her favorite of the three photos. 

 

_ These are my Christmas jammies,  _ she writes, followed by the dancing girls emoji. As soon as she uploads it, everyone is finally ready to open presents so she locks her phone and puts it down on the coffee table, completely forgetting about it as she enjoys Christmas with Ashlyn and her family.

 

Just like last night, Ashlyn’s grandma made sure Ali was not forgotten about or ignored. There are a few gifts for her, which they space out a little so she’s not done opening presents way before anyone else.  

 

Everyone loves their gifts from Germany and when Ashlyn opens the Balr shirt, which Ali saved for last, Ashlyn is a little speechless. “Al, oh my god. This is amazing but it’s too much.” 

 

“It’s not too much,” Ali says. “I know you’ve talked about the brand before and when we went to Amsterdam a few weeks ago after I already booked my flight here, I knew I had to get one for you. My parents actually sent me part of the money so it’s from all of us, including Kyle. Except Kyle doesn’t know because he’s getting one too.” 

 

“Tell them I said thanks,” Ashlyn says. “No wonder you threatened to keep it.” 

 

“Yeah, I’m gonna borrow it a few times.” 

 

“If I ever take it off.” 

 

Ali nearly makes a comment about how she’ll take it off of Ashlyn herself before remembering that they’re surrounded by Ashlyn’s family. She keeps the comment to herself and rests her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Merry Christmas, babe. Do you like your present?” 

 

“I love it,” Ashlyn says. “But I love you being here even more.” 

 

~

 

They stay up almost all night, savoring their time together and making love until they’re both too sensitive for more. 

 

In the morning, Ali prepares for her flight to DC. Knowing that she had a lot of suitcases to lug around, she booked her flight on Southwest so she can take two checked bags and her carryon for free, leaving the third one with Ashlyn to bring back to school for her. 

 

“I told you not to take so many bags to Germany,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“You know I wasn’t gonna listen to that,” Ali replies. “I think you’ll survive picking one bag up at the checked baggage so your lovely girlfriend doesn’t have to pay extra.” 

 

“I’ll only bring it with me because it has my presents in it.” 

 

“Try again.” 

 

“I’ll bring it with me because I love you and you’re the best,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“That’s more like it,” Ali grins. 

 

Ashlyn drives her to the airport, both of them dreading just these next few days apart. After being separated for so long, there’s nothing Ashlyn wants more than to go to DC with Ali but she reminds herself that in just three days, they’ll be back on campus together. 

 

Ashlyn helps Ali unload her suitcases out of the trunk and onto a luggage cart and pulls her in for a hug. “Love you. Can’t wait to see you in a few days.” 

 

“Love you too,” Ali grins. “Thanks for an amazing couple of days.” 

 

“And thank you for the best surprise visit ever.” 

 

Ashlyn gives Ali a goodbye kiss, lingering just a little. “See you soon.” 

 

Ali gives Ashlyn one last kiss before she finally pulls herself away to catch her flight. Leaving Ashlyn is never easy but at least this time, it’s only a few days instead of an entire semester. After her transatlantic flight earlier in the week, the flight to DC feels incredibly short and soon enough, Ali is reunited with her family. 

 

Kyle is not too happy that he had to wait to open Christmas presents for an extra day but when Ali tells him all about her few days with Ashlyn, he relaxes a little.

 

“Okay, I guess it’s worth the sacrifice then,” he says. 

 

“Poor baby had to wait to open presents while I fixed my relationship,” Ali teases. “Thank you for your grace, oh great one.” 

 

“So you two are good now?” Kyle asks. They’re sitting on the couch in the other room, waiting for their parents to set everything up so they can finally open presents. 

 

“Yeah, we’re okay. It’s still a little fresh so I wouldn’t say we’re back to normal yet but we’ll get there.” 

 

“I’m proud of you, babes. I know the last couple of months weren’t easy for you and I think you handled them about as well as you could have. And I really like Ash so I’m glad you’re back together.” 

 

“Good, me too.” 

 

~

 

Ali spends a nice few days with her family. She and Ashlyn talk every night but during the day, Ali tries to focus on her family. She’s been away from them too so she catches them up on the things she did in Europe and takes time to call Ashlyn at night before bed. 

 

On the 29th, Ali returns to North Carolina as planned. Ashlyn meets her at the sorority house to help Ali unpack. Hardly any of Ali’s sorority sisters are back yet so Ashlyn doesn’t have to share Ali too much. 

 

They stay at Ashlyn’s house that night, curling up in Ashlyn’s bed together. 

 

“God, it feels good to be home,” Ali says. “Can you be the big spoon tonight?” 

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

Ali rolls over so her back is pressed against Ashlyn’s front. Ashlyn drapes her arm over Ali, holding her tight. She hasn’t felt this content, this happy in months and she falls into an easy sleep with Ali in her arms.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> five chapters left in this one :/


	36. Chapter 36

 

“Spill,” Heather says as she, Ali, Crystal, Christen, and Becky sit down to brunch as soon as they all back on campus on New Year’s Eve. “Are you and Ash back together? You haven’t answered any of my texts about it.” 

 

“Seriously, Ali, you tell us you’re going to surprise Ashlyn with a visit and you don’t tell us how it went but you post a picture of you two wearing matching Christmas pajamas. We’ve been dying for news,” Christen says. 

 

“Well, what if I told you that the reason I never responded is because things went really, really well and we were a little busy and, anyway, it would’ve been too much to fit into a text.” 

 

“So you did get back together?” Becky asks. 

 

Ali nods, taking a sip of her coffee. “Okay, so I knock on the door and as we planned, her grandma had her answer. She was so surprised.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, get to the good part,” Crystal says. 

 

“I am,” Ali says. “So we go to her room and, god, we were both so emotional. I apologized for not fighting for her and she apologized for being too needy which made me feel really bad because I never should’ve made her think that she was asking for too much, you know? So she pulls me in for a hug and we’re both crying. Before we could get any further, I told her what happened with Sienna.”

 

“Oh my god,” Heather says. “What did she say?” 

 

“Well, first she said I didn’t have to tell her about it if I didn’t want to because we were broken up. I think she was worried that we slept together or something but I said that I wanted to tell her. And I told her what I told you guys about it. I told her that it just didn’t feel right and that she was the only one on my mind so I stopped it. So then we kiss but I’m still crying so she stops to wipe my tears. I asked if we could try again and she said that we’d be stupid not to and she asked me to be her girlfriend again. She told me she loves me and I said it back, obviously.”

 

“And then you had some nice family friendly fun,” Crystal teases. 

 

“Uh, kind of,” Ali laughs. “It was Christmas Eve so it’s not like we could stay up in her room all night and completely ignore her family. Her family was great about the whole thing. Her grandma even got me pajamas to open that night, hence the matching ones from my post. But we did sneak upstairs early and I was, like, shaking uncontrollably before she even touched me. It was just so overwhelming. But, yeah, basically any chance we got, we were in her room together. Then I had to go back to DC for a few days for Christmas with my family.” 

 

“So what are you two doing tonight? Are you coming to Julie’s party?” Christen asks. 

 

“Uh, I don’t know,” Ali says. “We talked about maybe going for a little bit but everything has been so crazy since I got back that we might just celebrate at her house.” 

 

“Mmm, while everyone else is at the party,” Crystal says. 

 

“Exactly,” Ali says. 

 

~

 

They don’t end up going out. 

 

With four housemates and such a long separation, it’s difficult to justify turning down a night with the house to themselves. Most of Ashlyn’s housemates are attending the party Julie is hosting with her housemates while Alex attends a party hosted by Serv and some of the other players on the men’s team. Left alone in the house, Ali and Ashlyn split bottle of wine as they watch New Year’s coverage on TV. 

 

This year has been challenging in more ways than one. Ali took herself out of her comfort zone by doing an entire semester abroad, 4,000 miles away from everyone and everything important to her. If that wasn’t challenging enough, it nearly tore her and Ashlyn apart. 

 

The breakup challenged her in ways she’s never been challenged before. Her previous relationships all ended for insurmountable reasons and while the experience was sad, she always knew it was for the best. With Ashlyn, however, she knew she lost the best thing that ever happened to her and that she would do anything to make it right. 

 

Curled up on the couch during a quiet New Year’s Eve, Ali starts tracing gentle circles on Ashlyn’s arm. “Hey, babe, thanks for giving this another chance with me,” she says.

 

“You know, I was just thinking about that too,” Ashlyn says. “I don’t even really think about it like that. I think of it as, like, we just took a pause, you know? I never wanted or intended for it to be a permanent break but I think it was necessary for us to take a breather at that time. I don’t know if that makes sense.” 

 

“Uh, maybe just a little,” Ali says. She’s not exactly sure what Ashlyn is getting at so she listens intently as Ashlyn continues. 

 

“I just mean that, like, we got back together on Christmas Eve but I don’t think of that as a new anniversary or anything. Our anniversary is still December 5th, just as it has always been. It’s why I said we’d talk when you got home.” 

 

Ali sits up a little straighter, turning so she can meet Ashlyn’s eyes. “Can I tell you something?” 

 

“Anything,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Right before we broke up, I kind of wondered if we’re too young to be in such a serious relationship. It was just, like, everyone on my program was hooking up with random people and it seemed like they were, I don’t know, having more fun than me? Maybe that’s not the right way to phrase it but they were making the most of their time abroad, you know? And I worried that maybe we’re too young for all of this.” 

 

“And what was your conclusion?” Ashlyn asks, a little worried to hear the answer. 

 

“I realized that we’re lucky,” Ali says. “Maybe it was fulfilling for them to do that kind of stuff but once I had to opportunity to do that kind of shit because we were broken up, I realized how much better this is than whatever it was they were doing. I trust you with everything and I see myself having a future with you and that’s more important than anything else I could’ve been doing.”

 

“God, I was hoping you weren’t gonna say something like you think we should break up again,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“No, of course not. Sorry to say but you’re stuck with me,” Ali says, pressing a kiss to Ashlyn’s cheek.  

 

“Hmmm, aren’t I the luckiest?” Ashlyn says. Ali slides her hand to the back of Ashlyn’s neck and drags her in for a long, slow kiss. 

 

After a few minutes, Ali ends up straddling Ashlyn’s lap. She still holds the back of Ashlyn’s head with one hand, her fingers lightly scratching against Ashlyn’s scalp. “Play some music,” she says. 

 

Ashlyn pauses kissing Ali long enough to find one of their playlists on her phone, music filling the room. When she’s settled again, Ali starts grinding her hips in time with the music. It’s not the first time Ali has ever given her a lap dance but it’s not the most common occurrence so it takes her by surprise. “Holy shit, Al.”

 

“You like this, baby?” Ali asks, batting her eyes as Ashlyn as she continues to roll her hips. “You like when I grind on you like this?” 

 

“You’re gonna kill me,” Ashlyn breathes. She puts her hands on Ali’s ass, feeling the way Ali’s muscles work. 

 

Ali sheds her sweatshirt, exposing her breasts to Ashlyn. Straddling Ashlyn’s waist, her chest is at the perfect height for Ashlyn to take her nipples into her mouth, which she does eagerly as Ali continues to grind her hips. 

 

“So good,” Ali says, throwing her head back a little. 

 

Ashlyn alternates between Ali’s breasts, sucking her nipples and adding a little to the still fading hickies she gave Ali a week ago. She slides her hands down Ali’s thighs and back up her ass, slipping them underneath the waistband of her sweats and panties to get a better grip on her ass. 

 

“I love you,” Ali says. She leans down, drawing Ashlyn in for a deep kiss. She continues with her lap dance for another few moments before she needs more. She takes Ashlyn’s hand, guiding it down the front of her pants. “Please, I need you.” 

 

Ashlyn starts stroking Ali with her fingers, keeping a bit of a slow pace. Ali still grinds her hips a little but now it’s in time to Ashlyn’s movements rather than to the beat of the music. Ashlyn takes one of Ali’s nipples into her mouth again, biting down a little and eliciting a loud moan from her girlfriend. 

 

“Fuck, Ash. More.”

 

Ashlyn switches to Ali’s other breast, repeating the same action. She bites a little then soothes the skin by rolling her tongue around Ali’s nipple. 

 

Ali throws her head back again, pleasure taking over as her moans get louder and louder. With Ashlyn sucking on her nipples and her skilled fingers working her clit, it takes no time for her to come undone. She rests her head against Ashlyn’s shoulder as she comes, shaking a little. 

 

“Was that good?” Ashlyn asks with an amused tone. 

 

“Almost too good,” Ali says. “Definitely gonna need to change my underwear.”  

 

“Same,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Are you wet for me babe?” Ali asks, lightly running her hands through Ashlyn’s hair, pushing her breasts in her face again. 

 

“Swimming,” Ashlyn breathes. 

 

“Let’s take care of you, then,” Ali says. She directs Ashlyn to lie on the couch. When Ashlyn is on her back, Ali lies on top of her, sliding her hand into Ashlyn’s pants. She doesn’t bother with taking Ashlyn’s clothes off and this way, if one of Ashlyn’s housemates comes home, the only piece of discarded clothing is Ali’s sweatshirt, which will be easy to pull on in a hurry. She kisses Ashlyn’s neck as she works, loving the way Ashlyn’s hands tangle in her hair. “You gonna come for me, baby?” 

 

“Yes, so close,” Ashlyn says. She tries to move her hips along with Ali’s fingers but with Ali on top of her, she can’t move much at all so she’s at Ali’s mercy. “I love yo—fuck,” she says, losing her train of thought when Ali increases her pace. She closes her eyes as her pleasure takes over. She comes against Ali’s hand, a contented sigh escaping her lips. When she recovers, she circles her arms around Ali, pulling her down against her chest. 

 

“Now what was that you were trying to say?” Ali teases. 

 

“Shut up,” Ashlyn laughs. She presses a kiss to the top of Ali’s head, relaxing with her girl in her arms for a few minutes. “I guess we should go get cleaned up a little.” 

 

“Probably,” Ali says. “But I don’t want to move.” 

 

“We’ll be quick then we’ll come back and watch the ball drop.” 

 

The watch the rest of the coverage together and when the ball drops, they share a passionate new year’s kiss. “Happy new year, baby,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Happy new year.” 

 

~

 

In February, Ali starts her first law internship, for which she was recommended by one of her professors. She’s back to real life and the more she settles back in, the more she can’t wait to get out of the sorority house. 

 

Living in the sorority house was fun during her sophomore year but now it’s more than a little grating to live with so many other people. Luckily, Christen is the best roommate ever but when they find themselves spending more time at Ashlyn and Tobin’s house than at their own place, they start talking about what they’ll do next year. 

 

Christen plans to live with a few other girls from the sorority. She’s pretty close friends with two other girls from their pledge class and since she and Tobin aren’t quite ready for that next step, she plans to live with friends. 

 

“I’m assuming you and Ash are gonna move in together?” Christen says. “If not, you’re welcome to live with us. I’m sure we could find something for four.” 

 

“Oh, I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it yet,” Ali says. “We should talk about it soon, actually. I’ve been so busy getting back into the swing of things here that I’ve hardly even thought about next year yet.” 

 

“Good thing I brought it up,” Christen says. “Let me know what you’re gonna do because, like I said, if you don’t end up living with Ash, I’m almost certain you can live with us.” 

 

When Ali meets Ashlyn for dinner that night, she decides to bring up the conversation she had with Christen. They’ll only have a few weeks to figure things out before they need to start signing or renewing leases so there’s no time to wait. 

 

“So Chris told me that she’s living with some of the girls from our sorority next year,” Ali says. 

 

“Don’t you guys already live with your entire sorority?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Yes,” Ali laughs. “But that’s in the sorority house. Most girls only live there one year so it’s a little unusual we both stayed this year. She’s gonna get either an apartment or a house with three other girls from our pledge class. She said I can live with them, if I want.” 

 

“You gonna do it?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“I could,” Ali says. “But she said she assumed that I would live with you and it got me thinking.” 

 

Ashlyn tilts her head a little as she thinks about what Ali has brought up. She’s thought about living with Ali for their senior year because with her planning on playing in the NWSL and Ali heading to law school, she’s not sure where either of them will end up after graduating from North Carolina. If they end up in different cities after senior year, it’ll be at least another three years before they’ll be able to live together so they might as well take the opportunity while they can. “So you mean you moving into the house?” 

 

“Well, not exactly,” Ali says. “What about getting an apartment together? We could decorate the way we want and we’d have privacy.” 

 

“Just us?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“That’s what I’m thinking, yeah. It’s okay if you don't like the idea; it was just a thought.” 

 

Ashlyn smiles and takes Ali’s hand across the table. “Just you and me in a little apartment? What’s not to like?”

 

Ali’s eyes light up at Ashlyn’s words. Though she tried to come into this conversation with an open mind, she realizes now just how badly she was hoping for this answer. “Really?”

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn grins. “I think it’ll be fun but mostly, I think we’re ready.” 

 

Now over a month since they got back together, they’re stronger than ever. Both have said all they needed to say about their break and it is completely behind them. Ali is certain that they are ready for the next step. “Can we look for places tonight?” 

 

“Uh, what else would we do after this conversation?” Ashlyn teases. 

 

As they finish their meal, they talk about the kinds of things they’ll look for in an apartment. Cost is a big one, of course, but so are location and closet size. They’re not too picky about how nice it is but they definitely don’t want a run down building or anything so they’re gonna look for newer builds or places that have been remodeled within their lifetimes. 

 

When they get back to Ashlyn’s after dinner, Ashlyn pulls out her laptop as they sit in bed together. They browse listings and reach out to friends who have lived in off campus apartments, asking for any advice. 

 

They get a couple of recommendations, some of which are more their style than others, but the most valuable information they get is about places they should avoid. By the time they decide to go to bed after 2:00 in the morning, they have a few places to call in the morning to inquire about costs and availability. 

 

“Can you believe we’re gonna live together?” Ali marvels as she snuggles with Ashlyn. 

 

“I don’t think it’ll sink in until we’re settled.”

 

“You won’t have to beg me to come over every time I try to stay at my own place anymore,” Ali says. 

 

“I know,” Ashlyn grins. “You’re gonna be my super hot roommate.” 

 

“What is this? A same sex relationship in the 90s?” Ali teases. “Like, ‘this is my roommate. We definitely don’t have sex’,” she says, using the voice that’s often reserved for when she talks to strangers. 

 

“This is my special friend, Ali,” Ashlyn says, playing along. “We sleep in separate bedrooms and I’ve never seen her naked because that would just be  _ weird _ . Anyway, here’s my boyfriend, Beardy McBeard.” 

 

“Stop,” Ali says. She laughs at the persona Ashlyn has concocted, her stomach hurting from laughing so much. When they calm down, she looks at Ashlyn with a soft smile on her face. “Seriously, though, I know our generation deals with some other terrifying shit but we’re so lucky that we don’t have to live that way, you know?” 

 

“Oh, definitely,” Ashlyn says. “If we were even just twenty years older or if we lived in some other places in the world, things would’ve been so much more difficult. We’re so lucky that we just get to live our lives. We can get an apartment together and when the time comes, we can get married and have a family without too much trouble.” 

 

“You want a family with me?” Ali asks, voice catching in her throat a little. They’ve talked before about their desires to have kids but they’ve never spoken about it as something they’ll do together and it takes her by surprise to hear Ashlyn mention it so casually. 

 

“Duh,” Ashlyn says. “We’ll be kick ass moms.”

 

Ali smiles and moves to lie on top of Ashlyn, pinning her arms to the mattress as she kisses her deeply. It’s well beyond when they normally go to sleep but neither woman pays any attention to the time. When they’re finally sated and too exhausted to move, they collapse next to each other, falling asleep almost instantly. 

 

~

 

The next week is spent browsing apartment listings and visiting potential options. They manage to narrow it down to three options and sit down over coffee on Saturday morning to make their final decision. 

 

“I liked this one,” Ali says, pulling up the tab on her laptop. It’s a little farther from the center of campus that they originally preferred but it has a lot of closet space, which is key. Most of the design is not really their style but bearing in mind that they’ll only live there for a year, she’s willing to sacrifice design and proximity for functionality. As an added bonus, it’s the cheapest of the three options so they’ll save rent money every month.

 

“I like this one,” Ashlyn says. Her choice is much more modern and definitely their style but it’s slightly out of budget and Ali isn’t sure if there would be enough room for all of their clothes. 

 

“I mean, that one is cool but, remember, this is only for a year. It doesn’t have to be, like, perfectly remodeled. The closet in that one is tiny and it’s more than we want to pay.” 

 

“God, does this feel a little too much like we belong on HGTV right now?” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

“Ugh, I wish we were so we could get paid while we look for apartments,” Ali says. “Seriously though, I like your pick for the aesthetic and we should definitely try to remember some of that stuff for the future but I think for one year we can deal with ugly finishings to have a bigger closet.” 

 

“But this one is so cool,” Ashlyn protests. She knows Ali is right and that they should make the responsible decision but she really loves the design of her first choice. “It’s way more us.”

 

“We’ll make our place our own with our decor and when we’re older and have more money, we can find a place like the one you like.” 

 

“I know you’re right but I don’t want to admit it,” Ashlyn says, eliciting an eye roll from Ali. 

 

“Tell me I’m right and I’m the smartest and the prettiest,” Ali says. She rests her chin in her hands, batting her eyelashes at Ashlyn across the table. She purses her lips, waiting for Ashlyn’s response. 

 

“I could tell you all that or I could tell you the truth,” Ashlyn teases, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. 

 

Ali reaches her hand out suddenly, tickling Ashlyn’s side. “You want to try that again?” She asks as Ashlyn laughs and tries to squirm away. 

 

“Okay, okay,” Ashlyn says through her laughs. She grabs ahold of Ali’s hands, stopping her movement. “You’re right and you’re the smartest  _ and  _ prettiest. And I can’t wait until we live together.” She circles her arms around Ali’s shoulders, hugging her as best as she can without completely pulling Ali off of her chair. 

 

“If you’re not nice to me, you’ll have to find someone else to live with you,” Ali teases. 

 

“I’m the nicest to you. Who else gives you orgasms and plays with your hair until you fall asleep?” 

 

“Hmm, good point, guess I have to keep you then.” 

 

Ashlyn looks back at the tab on Ali’s computer. She scrolls through the photos of one of the units, trying to imagine living there. “Can you believe we’re gonna live here?” she asks. 

 

Ali watches Ashlyn scroll through the photos, resting her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Looks homey, don’t you think?  We’ll take your bed, obviously, because mine stays at the sorority house.”

 

“We need so much shit. I only have the stuff in my room because they already had everything else here.”

 

“I really only have my desk,” Ali says. “The dorm and the house were furnished other than that.” 

 

“So we can think of it as a blank canvas. We get to pick everything out together.” 

 

“I can’t wait,” Ali says. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost forgot to update today. hope you're all still enjoying this one :)


	37. Chapter 37

  
  


After a summer spent acquiring furniture and other necessities, move in day begins bright and early.  

 

Since they both have to move out of their respective places, they spend one last night apart. Ali wakes with the sun on the morning of August 1st and dresses in athletic shorts and a UNC tank top she stole from Ashlyn two years ago. Almost all of her belongings are already packed in boxes and when she’s done with her morning routine, she packs everything else. She loads what she can into her car and meets Ashlyn at their new building. 

 

When she arrives at their building, Ashlyn is standing by her car, which is packed with boxes just like Ali’s. 

 

“Let’s go get our keys first and then we’ll start unloading,” Ashlyn says. 

 

They walk to the apartment office hand in hand, waiting in line behind a few others who are also moving in today. It takes about fifteen minutes waiting in line but when they’re finally done, they each have a set of keys to their first apartment together. 

 

“Can you believe it?” Ali asks, practically skipping back to their cars. “We’re moving into our first apartment together.” 

 

“Who would’ve ever thought this would happen when we first met?” Ashlyn asks. She trails behind her girlfriend, grinning at how excited Ali is. 

 

Ali pauses to wait for Ashlyn, taking her hand. “Well, I did kind of think that we might live together as friends sophomore year or something but I definitely didn’t think we’d live together as girlfriends.” 

 

“And here we are, keys in hand,” Ashlyn says. 

 

They take a small load of their belongings up to their apartment but before they go into their apartment, Ali insists they get a selfie in front of their door. Ashlyn wants to get a move on because they still have to get the rest of the boxes cars and then go get a moving truck to get their furniture from the garage at her old place. Nevertheless, she decides to humor Ali and poses for the photo. 

 

Ali holds up her key for the camera, smiling as she squeezes into the frame with Ashlyn. “Our first place together,” she says, pressing a kiss to Ashlyn’s cheek when she’s satisfied that they got a good shot. 

 

It doesn’t take long at all to unload their cars and when they’re finished, Ali orders a car to drive them to where they’ll pick up a moving truck for their bigger items. From there, they take the truck back to Ashlyn’s old house. 

 

“Uhauling,” Ashlyn laughs, giving Ali’s hand a quick squeeze before putting both hands back on the wheel. 

 

“Hey, we’ve been together two and a half years we’re definitely not rushing into this,” Ali says. 

 

“Oh, I know. It’s just funny. I’ve never lived with a girlfriend before.” 

 

“I’m the first and only one, right?” 

 

“Of course,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

When they arrive at the house, Alex and Serv are there waiting to help them with the rest of the moving process. All the furniture they have accumulated over the summer is in the detached garage so together, they move everything from the garage to the moving truck. When that’s done, they set to work on getting the bed, desk, dresser, and nightstand from Ashlyn’s room.

 

After getting everything from Ashlyn’s, they have to make a pit stop at the sorority house to get Ali’s desk and a few other boxes that didn’t fit in her car. 

 

By the time they gift Alex and Serv with a case of beer for their help and return the moving truck, it’s well into the afternoon so they pick up pizza and breadsticks for lunch. 

 

Sitting in their apartment, Ashlyn looks around. They still have many, many boxes to unpack but with their furniture in place, it’s starting to look and feel like home. Their furniture is a hodge podge collection of thrift store, Craigslist, and Ikea purchases but it’s  _ theirs.  _ They spent hours together hunting down pieces that would work for their style and budget. It might not be the most cohesive or the nicest but they purchased it all together and that, in Ashlyn’s mind, is the most important part. “I can’t believe I get to come home to you every day now,” she muses. “This is our place.” 

 

“Home,” Ali grins. “Tomorrow we need to go to the grocery store and maybe check out some decor at Target? I think we could find some things that will pull everything together.” 

 

“I’m down,” Ashlyn says. “Otherwise, I worry you’d pick some pink sparkly shit.” 

 

“You never know,” Ali laughs. 

 

When they’re done eating, Ali gets to work unpacking her clothes in the bedroom while Ashlyn tackles unpacking their kitchen stuff. Fifteen minutes into sorting dishes, cookware, and silverware, however, she gets bored and decides to visit Ali in the bedroom. “You know what we forgot to do?” she asks, circling her arms around Ali’s waist from behind. 

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“Break in the bed,” Ashlyn says. She kisses Ali’s shoulder and spins her around so she can look in her eyes. 

 

“Uh, babe, that bed is plenty broken in,” Ali laughs. 

 

“You know what I mean,” Ashlyn groans. “We’ve had our keys for nine hours now and we still haven’t had sex here yet.” 

 

“Oh no, how will we even remember how?” Ali teases. 

 

“I don’t know, might have to do some research.” She kisses Ali deeply, smirking into the kiss when Ali loops her arms around her neck. When they pull apart for air, Ashlyn rests her forehead against Ali’s. 

 

“Did you know that this is our bedroom?” Ali asks. “And we don’t have roommates.” 

 

“So what you’re saying is that we can be as loud as we want?” Ashlyn asks, an amused glint in her eyes. 

 

“Our neighbors are gonna hate us.” 

 

~

 

Two weeks after moving in, Ashlyn still can’t believe she gets to live with Ali. They come home to each other every night, often making dinner together. They sleep next to each other every night and in the morning, the have coffee and breakfast together. 

 

Ashlyn wants to live like this forever. 

 

She wants to live like this forever, regardless of where they live, and it scares her that once they graduate, it might be three years before they’ll be in the same city again. Next summer, she’ll enter the league and Ali will begin law school. If they end up in different cities (which is highly likely), it’ll be at least three years of long distance. If Ali doesn’t want to live wherever Ashlyn is playing, there’s no telling how long they’ll have to do long distance. 

 

Now faced with the potential three or more years of distance, Ali’s time in Germany feels like merely a trial—one they failed, no less. 

 

It weighs on her mind for a few days before she decides to bring it up. 

 

They’re still naked and a little sweaty after sex when she runs her hand through Ali’s hair, looking into her eyes. Their toys lay discarded on the floor, needing to be cleaned, but neither woman wants to move out of bed just yet. 

 

“What do you think is going to happen next year?” she asks. 

 

Ali gives her a quizzical look. “What do you mean?” 

 

“Well I hope to play professionally so I have no idea where I’ll be living and you’ll be applying to law school soon. Are we gonna do distance?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Ali says. “We might have to do distance but I have been looking into law schools near teams.” She’s done some preliminary research on what law school she would like to attend, focusing about half of her searches in areas with an NWSL team and the other half on top schools. She needs to narrow down her choices pretty quickly because she’ll need to start applying within the next few months. 

 

“You have?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Yeah, I’ve looked into schools near Boston, Orlando, Chicago, and New York. And here and DC, obviously. I haven’t looked too much at the west coast but I have some pretty good options all along the east coast.” 

 

“Are you gonna apply to those ones?” 

 

Ali shrugs. “I’m not sure yet. Some of them, probably. I’d love if we could work it out to be in the same city.”

 

“When would you have to pick a school?” Ashlyn questions. 

 

“Not until after the draft in January,” Ali says. 

 

“So you’d pick a school based on where I am? I don’t want you to go to a school you don’t want to be at just for me. As much as I love you and I’d love to avoid long distance, I want you to go to the best school for you.” 

 

Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I wouldn’t consider these schools if I couldn’t see myself being happy there. Since the teams are in big markets, most of them have some pretty good schools nearby. Obviously if I was only picking based on where I would prefer to be, I would definitely pick DC but I would like to factor you in, if it’s possible. When it comes down to it, I can go to school anywhere but there will only be one place I can be with you so that’ll be a significant part of my decision. I’d just need to, you know, be sure that you see me in your future. Like, that we’re on a path to get married one day.” 

 

Marriage is something they’ve mentioned before but they’ve never really spoken about it in concrete terms. If she’s going to make such a big decision partly based on where Ashlyn ends up, she wants to be certain that Ashlyn envisions a future with her. She bites her bottom lip as she nervously awaits Ashlyn’s response. 

 

“You want to know that you’re in my future? Baby, you are my future,” Ashlyn says. “Al, I can’t imagine my future without you in it.”

 

Ali meets Ashlyn’s gaze, lips curling into a grin. “Yeah?” 

 

“God, of course. You’re my best friend and I plan to love you for the rest of my life. I want everything with you: marriage, kids, a dog, a nice house with a yard.” 

 

“Good because I want all that with you too,” Ali grins, drawing Ashlyn in for a kiss. 

 

“I’ve thought about marrying you one day since we first started dating,” Ashlyn says. “Remember after my surgery? There’s a reason I said all that because it’s what I felt deep down. It was obviously a little soon for that discussion but I did feel it.” 

 

“I felt it then too,” Ali says, her smile growing wider.

 

“But you really don’t have to make your decision based on where I’ll be,” Ashlyn says when they pull apart. “I know distance didn’t go great the first time but I think we learned a lot from it and we’d be okay. I’d spend my offseasons with you so, really, it would only be half the year apart plus as many visits as we can manage. And maybe you could do summer internships wherever I am so we could be together most of the time anyway.” 

 

“Oh, I know. And I’m not saying for sure that I’ll pick somewhere based on where you are because if you end up in like, Houston, or something, I’ll see you in the offseason,” Ali says, eliciting a laugh from Ashlyn. “And, seriously, don’t expect me to wear anything orange. It is so not my color.” 

 

“I don’t think orange is anyone’s color. And please don’t jinx me like that.” 

 

“Sorry,” Ali laughs. “But what I’m saying is that if it’s somewhere I’ll be happy then I’m probably gonna apply in the area in case you end up there and make my decision once we know where you’ll be.”

 

“I love you so much. You know that, right?” 

 

“I love you too. I love you so much that I want to marry you one day,” Ali says, pulling Ashlyn in for a kiss.

 

They kiss slowly for a few minutes, both content just to kiss after they just spent nearly two hours worshipping each other’s bodies. Ashlyn has been particularly adamant that they have sex on nearly every surface in the apartment so they started in the kitchen with Ashlyn eating Ali out as Ali sat on the counter. After Ali came, they tried to make it to the bedroom but only made it to the hallway before Ali pressed Ashlyn against the fall and fingered her until she came. From there, Ashlyn carried Ali fireman style the rest of the way to their bedroom where they took turns using their toys on each other until they collapsed in a sweaty heap. 

 

After what has already been a long night, neither is too inclined to deepen the kiss and after a few minutes, Ashlyn pulls away and snuggles close to Ali. “Thank you for being willing to factor me into your law school decision.” 

 

“Thank you for being someone I want to factor in,” Ali says, pressing a kiss to Ashlyn’s cheek. 

 

~

 

Ashlyn’s senior season gets off to a shaky start. A lot of the team is young and relatively inexperienced and make a few nervous mistakes early in the year. As the senior goalkeeper, Ashlyn is on the pitch a lot and has to clean up more messes than in the last three years combined. Emily and Whitney, the upperclassmen center backs can only do so much when the rest of the team gets caught ball watching worse than the spectators. 

 

After their second consecutive loss and only one point through three games, a rarity to a team as talented as North Carolina, Whitney joins Ashlyn at her locker. They’ve just gotten their asses reamed by their coach and the mood in the locker room is more sour than the seniors have ever experienced outside of tournament losses. They have been selected as team captains this year and if anyone is going to encourage the team, it’s going to be them. 

 

“I think we need to talk to them,” Whitney says. “We can’t leave it like this.” 

 

Ashlyn looks at her friend, her co-captain, and nods. “I think you’re right. You might have to be the encouragement, though, because I’m pissed that they hung me out to dry yet again.” 

 

“You remember what it’s like to be new here,” Whitney says gently. “Even some of these sophomores never really had a chance last year because Kelley and Tobin’s class was so good. They’re young, they’ll settle in and we’ll be fine. We can still turn the season around. They just need some encouragement.” 

 

“This is why we’re co-captains,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

Whitney leads Ashlyn to the center of the locker room, where they stand in front of everyone. “Hey, let’s all gather for a minute,” Whitney says. 

 

The team does as she says, all gathering in front of their senior captains. The mood is so low that as Ashlyn looks around at her teammates, some appear to be close to tears after another frustrating loss and the talk with their coaches. Whitney is right, if they’re going to turn this season around, it needs to be now. 

 

“Sucks to lose, doesn’t it?” Whitney asks with a soft chuckle. “We’re better than this, I know we are. We just need to be more confident in ourselves and our teammates, okay? We’re all at this school for a reason. Not a single one of us would be here if we didn’t have the capability to continue the wonderful traditions of this program. Now before we all get ready to go home, I want us all to go around the circle and say something nice about the person to our right. Focus on play and skills that you admire.” She smiles and sits down, Ashlyn following her lead. The team forms a better circle and Whitney looks to her right, smiling at Alex. “Alex, I love how lethal you are in front of goal. I’m so glad you’re on my team because I would not want to defend against you.”

 

They go around the circle, each player complimenting the player to her right until they finally get to Ashlyn, who turns to Whitney. 

 

“Whit, you are my rock out there. You give your best every single day and it’s an honor having you as not only one of my center backs but also as my friend and co-captain.” 

 

“Thanks, Ash,” Whitney grins. 

 

Ashlyn turns back to look at the team, smiling at how much brighter the mood is after Whitney’s on the fly idea for team bonding. “Guys, I know it’s been a rough start to the season but the good thing is that we have time to turn it around. Whit is right, we need to believe in each other and ourselves more. We all know what it’s like to be underclassmen fighting to impress everyone but don’t worry about impressing people. Worry about playing the best you can for our team and for the university and everything else will follow.”

 

“I agree,” Whitney says. “Every day when we go out there, we need to fight for each other. Everyone needs to drop back and defend and when we get up field, look for the best shot. We’re not playing for ourselves out there. On the pitch, we’re not individuals, we’re a team, and we need to start playing like one. Look at Alex, she’s one of the best strikers this school has ever seen but if she doesn’t have the right shot, she passes the ball to someone who does. That unselfish play is the reason she has been so successful and why this team has been so successful since we were freshmen.” 

 

“I think I’m speaking for all of the seniors when I say that we want to cap off our careers here with another national championship,” Alex says, looking around the circle at her fellow seniors. “And I think we can do it.” 

 

“Absolutely,” Whitney grins. She stands, prompting everyone else to follow her lead. They gather in a team huddle, all putting their hands in. “Team on three.” 

 

On Whitney’s count, everyone shouts “team”, pushing their hands down before raising them in the air. 

 

~

 

After the chat with the captains, there’s a palpable shift. The team starts to gel more and when someone messes up, there’s someone right behind her to cover. Their winless streak turns right around, the team winning their next three games in near dominant fashion. After the third win, a 4-0 victory over a conference opponent, Ashlyn starts to feel like maybe they really do have a shot at another title. She voices this hope to Ali over dinner and wine one night. 

 

“I could see it,” Ali says. “I think anything is possible with our superstar senior in goal.” 

 

“Hmm, I wonder who that could be?” 

 

“She’s really cute,” Ali says. “Tall and with the best cheekbones. I wonder if she’s single.” 

 

“I hear that she’s madly in love with her girlfriend,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“She better be,” Ali laughs, giving up the ruse. “Her girlfriend is the best.” 

 

“And so humble.” 

 

They clean the dishes from their dinner together and go to their bedroom to watch a movie. The don’t yet know where life will take them after they graduate in a few months but Ashlyn is certain that Ali will be part of her journey. No matter if they have to do long distance or how long they’ll be apart, she knows they’ll make it through and have the future they dream of together.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only three chapters left :/


	38. Chapter 38

  
  


“Mmm, smells good,” Ashlyn says, coming into the kitchen to find Ali making Sunday breakfast. She comes up behind her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her from behind. She circles her arms around Ali’s waist and rests her chin on her shoulder. “What has you up so early?” 

 

“Studying” Ali says. “Figured I’d make us breakfast and get an early start on it.” 

 

“You coming to my game later?” 

 

“Of course. Do you really think I would miss the your first playoff game of the year?” 

 

Ali spins in Ashlyn’s arms, grinning at her girlfriend. Like Ali, Ashlyn is still clad in sleep clothes which, ever since they moved in together, consists only of her boxers and an old, well-worn t-shirt. When Ashlyn lived in the house with her teammates, she usually always wore shorts around the house but now that they live alone, she sticks to mainly her underwear, which Ali loves. “Good morning.” 

 

“Good morning to you too, my domestic goddess,” Ashlyn says. She pulls Ali in for a good morning kiss, resting their foreheads together when they pull apart. “I sometimes still can’t believe that we live together. Is that weird? I know it’s been a few months but it still amazes me.”

 

“You’re cute,” Ali grins. “I hope we’re still this excited to live together when we’re old and grey.” 

 

Ashlyn busts out laughing at Ali’s comment, earning herself a quizzical look. “For a sec I thought you said ‘old and gay’,” she laughs, causing Ali to laugh too. 

 

“Old and grey,” Ali says, a little louder this time. “Maybe you already are old and need your hearing checked,” she teases. “But, yes, old and gay too.” 

 

“As long as you’re the one I grow old with, I’ll be happy for the rest of my life.”  

 

They eat their breakfast together and when they’re done, Ashlyn cleans the dishes while Ali starts studying at the table. All of her law school applications have been submitted so now the focus is on finishing out this semester and then her final semester of undergrad. 

 

Although she’s normally very focused on her studies, she can’t help but be distracted as Ashlyn dances around in her underwear while washing the dishes. Music plays from Ashlyn’s phone as she dances and Ali watches her girlfriend with an easy smile on her face. “Hey, can you believe that the draft is in just over a month?” Ali asks as she gets up from the table and joins Ashlyn in the kitchen. 

 

“I’m hoping to really impress in the tournament,” Ashlyn says. “You really don’t mind choosing a law school based on where I’ll be?” 

 

“Absolutely. If we’re serious about getting married one day, which we are, then I have to make these choices. You won’t have the flexibility to choose where you play but I should be able to work anywhere and as long as we’re more settled when we decide to have kids, I don’t care where we live.” 

 

“You really are the best. You know that, right?” 

 

“Oh, I’m well aware,” Ali grins. “But feel free to tell me at least ten times a day for the rest of our lives.”

 

“Lofty order but I’ll do my best,” Ashlyn laughs. “Is an average of ten a day okay? Like, some days I’ll say it more and some days you might get on my nerves so I’ll say it less.” 

 

Ali pretends to think on it for a moment, tilting her head to the side. “Yeah, I guess that would work. I mean, except for the part where you’re annoyed with me some days.”

 

“Hopefully we have long lives ahead of us so it’s bound to happen once or twice,” Ashlyn says. “But I’ll still love you a lot even on those days so it’s okay.”

 

Ali smiles as she wraps her arms around Ashlyn’s waist, playfully grabbing her ass. “You’ve been distracting me dancing around without pants on.” 

 

“Usually I’m the one feeling you up like this.”

 

“You have such a cute butt,” Ali says. She squeezes lightly and brushes her thumb along the waistband of Ashlyn’s tight boxers. 

 

“I should not wear pants more often,” Ashlyn grins. She draws Ali into her arms, hands going to Ali’s lower back as Ali continues fondling her ass. “You like it, baby? I’ve been working extra hard in training so professional teams will want me.” 

 

“Mmm, I can tell. Your hard work is definitely paying off.” She slides her hands up to Ashlyn’s arms, gripping her biceps as she stands on her toes for a kiss. “So strong.” 

 

Ashlyn kisses Ali again, more forcefully this time. With Ali’s hands still on her biceps, Ashlyn pulls her until their bodies are flush together. She slips her hands under the waistband of Ali’s sweats and boyshort panties, squeezing her ass with both hands. “Can’t forget about your perfect ass.” 

 

“You’re obsessed,” Ali laughs. 

 

“That I am,” Ashlyn says, pulling Ali in for another kiss. They make out in the middle of their kitchen for a few minutes, music still playing from Ashlyn’s phone. Ashlyn moves her hands to cradle the back of Ali’s head, kissing her a little more forcefully than normal. Ali tries to battle for control but Ashlyn never relinquishes her dominance. Ali admiring her body has her in a mood and she’s going to stay in control. 

 

Ali’s hands snake their way to Ashlyn’s stomach, feeling her muscles through her shirt. Ashlyn really has been working hard this season and it shows in her playing and in the changes to her body. She’s always been fit but she’s on another level now as she prepares to enter the professional ranks. Ali knows it’s all about Ashlyn playing at the next level but she’s happy to reap the rewards as well. She slides her hand up Ashlyn’s shirt, fingers splayed across Ashlyn’s abdomen. 

 

“Want to go make sure you have good stamina for your game later?” Ali asks with that look in her eyes that tells Ashlyn she’s turned on. 

 

“I think you’re the one that’s gonna need good stamina.” 

 

~

 

Due to their rough start to the season, North Carolina enters the NCAA tournament as a number three seed which is unusually low for the soccer program. The seniors have never entered the tournament as anything less than a two seed so they know they have a lot to prove as a team, as a class, and as individuals hoping to play professionally. 

 

After a quick start outscoring opponents 5-1 in the first two rounds of the tournament, the next few games are a much tougher test. They face the number one seed on their side on the bracket in the quarterfinals and as Ashlyn packs for the game hosted by the higher seed, she has her first moment of doubt. She’s next on the schedule to start and she’s starting to feel the pressure. 

 

“What if we lose?” she says as she packs her bag in their bedroom. “I don’t want this to be my last game for this school.” 

 

Ali shrugs from where she’s sitting on the bed next to Ashlyn’s duffle bag. “Well, if it is your last game, you’ll know that you had a really successful career here and you’ll be off to play professionally. I know it’ll hurt to lose but you’ve had an amazing career here. You won a title freshman year and came back from a significant injury better than you ever were before. You have a lot to be proud of. I know I’m proud of you no matter the outcome.” 

 

“If we win the championship again, will you kiss me after like you did freshman year?” 

 

“I’ll do a lot more than kiss you,” Ali says, winking at her girlfriend. 

 

“Sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. God, you had me so confused. I was still processing the win and then you kiss me out of nowhere and then run away. I had no idea what to think.” 

 

“Sorry,” Ali laughs, cringing a little at how everything went down. If she’d thought about her actions more, she would’ve waited until they had a moment alone to kiss Ashlyn but her emotions were running high and she couldn’t wait anymore. At the time, she was so embarrassed but three years later, she wouldn’t change a thing. One day when their kids ask how they got together, she’ll be able to tell them that she was in love with their mom for months and finally mustered up the courage to kiss her on that rainy day in Orlando. “At least it’s a good story to tell our kids one day.” 

 

Ashlyn smiles at the mention of them having kids together. “It’s a great story and it’ll be even better if I can bookend my career here with another championship. Especially since we’re hosting the College Cup. A title in my first year played in my home state and a championship senior year hosted by our school. How perfect would that be?” 

 

“I have a really good feeling about it.” 

 

~

 

Ali watches the game from home, Christen, Crystal, and Heather by her side. After graduating in the spring, Heather and Dave stayed in the area and Ali loves still having them around. Clad in one of Ashlyn’s Carolina soccer shirts, she streams the game on the TV in the living room as they all settle onto the couch with wine. Ashlyn takes her place in goal and although the camera cuts away, Ali knows she takes the last second before the whistle to adjust her gloves one more time. It’s a nervous habit of hers and Ali can picture her slightly twisting where her gloves meet her wrist.

 

Ashlyn seems nervous the entire first half, especially after they let in a goal for a deficit. She has so much riding on this game: a tournament game against the number one seed, professional coaches are sure to be scouting her, she wants to win another championship for the school and a trip to the College Cup which will be hosted at home is on the line. Ali can see the pressure Ashlyn is feeling in her body language. 

 

At halftime when the teams head off the field and into the locker room, Ali watches as Whitney chats with Ashlyn on their way off the pitch. Knowing Whitney, she’s giving Ashlyn a pep talk when she claps Ashlyn on the back and Ashlyn smiles, Ali knows her hunch is correct. 

 

The second half is the polar opposite of the first. While Ashlyn seened nervous during the first half, as the second half resumes, Ali can see a renewed sense of confidence. 

 

It’s not a pretty win by any means but North Carolina benefits from an own goal early in the second half and then with just fifteen minutes left, they finally take the lead on a goal from Alex. 

 

Holding the lead against the number one team is no easy task and Ashlyn is called upon more than Ali would prefer. She makes some stunning saves, though, and in the end, Carolina preserves the lead. They win a trip to the College Cup, an opportunity for the seniors to play at home one last time as they chase their second career national title. 

 

~

 

The semifinal goes to penalties and after a tense few minutes, Carolina emerges victorious thanks to a save from their second goalkeeper. Ali celebrates with her friends in the stands and later that night, she celebrates with Ashlyn in their bed. 

 

Their anniversary falls on the day in between the semi finals and the finals so although they want to celebrate on their actual anniversary, they agreed ahead of time that if the team made it to finals, they would put off celebrating their anniversary until later. Ashlyn is in tournament mode and she doesn’t want any distractions. After the final, she’ll give Ali her full attention. 

 

Ashlyn starts the championship game the day after their anniversary and although she showed some nerves earlier in the tournament, she plays with incredible confidence now. She stands tall in goal, warding off attacks from the opposing team. The Tar Heels take an early two goal lead and manage to hold it the entire second half. 

 

When the final whistle sounds, Ashlyn jumps into Whitney’s arms, the two seniors and team captains celebrating with each other before they celebrate with anyone else. As a goalkeeper and center back, they have a special connection that has been cultivated over years of play together. 

 

“They did it,” Ali says, jumping up and down with her friends  as the crowd cheers for their champions. 

 

Ashlyn celebrates with her team first and when she has her national champions shirt and hat on, she makes her way over to where her Ali is waiting for her at the railing. She smiles as she approaches Ali, who takes Ashlyn’s face in her hands and kisses her soundly. They don’t get too caught up in the kiss but there’s emotion and adrenaline behind it and it still leaves Ali breathless. “I am so, so proud of you, baby,” she says when they part. 

 

“Couldn’t have done it without you. I love you.” 

 

“Love you more.” 

 

After greeting Ali and their friends, Ashlyn goes back out onto the field to celebrate with her teammates again. They play in the confetti, holding their individual trophies and posing with the larger one. A couple of times, Ashlyn returns to Ali for selfies together and for Ali to capture photos of Ashlyn and her teammates on her phone. When Ashlyn and the team finally make their way into the locker room, Ali sends a text to Ashlyn. 

 

_ So proud of you, baby. I’ll see you at home _

 

It takes Ashlyn longer than normal to get home so when she finally comes through the door, Ali is waiting anxiously in the living room for her. Ashlyn comes into their apartment, decked out in national champions gear and a big smile on her face. 

 

“There’s my favorite national champ,” Ali grins.

 

“We did it,” Ashlyn says, making her way to Ali who stands to greet her. 

 

Ali circles her arms around Ashlyn’s neck as Ashlyn hugs her tight, lifting her off the ground a little. “I knew you could do it,” Ali says. “You were amazing out there.” 

 

“I played well, didn’t I?” Ashlyn asks. She sets Ali down but keeps her in her arms. 

 

Ali hums. “So well. I can’t even tell you how proud I am of you.” 

 

“I meant what I said earlier—I could not have done this again without you. I wanted to give up after my knee injury but your support and belief in me kept me going. You helped me find my value again and made we want to be the best because that’s what you deserve.” 

 

“You’re sweet,” Ali grins. She stands on her toes, drawing Ashlyn in for a long, slow kiss. When they part, they stand in each other’s arms for a moment before Ashlyn suggests they get ready to go out with the team. 

 

They celebrate all night and when they finally return home when the bar closes, both women are drunk and giggly as they stumble into their apartment and curl up in bed together.

 

~

 

The next morning, Ali wakes Ashlyn up with gentle kisses to her shoulder. When Ashlyn’s eyes flutter open, Ali grins. “Happy belated anniversary, babe.” 

 

“Happy anniversary,” Ashlyn says. “Sorry we couldn’t celebrate the other day.” 

 

“No need to be sorry, you had a championship to win. And now I get your full attention.”

 

When they first made the decision to wait to celebrate their anniversary, Ashlyn was worried that it seemed as if she was prioritizing soccer over Ali. That wasn’t the case at all. In fact, she wanted to wait so she could give both her full attention. Their most recent anniversary was during their breakup and she wanted to make this one special to make up for the missed anniversary last year. 

 

“You always have my full attention, baby.” 

 

“Do I get my present now?” Ali asks, a grin on her face.

 

“I guess you’ve waited long enough, haven’t you?” 

 

Ashlyn goes to the hall closet, where she has Ali’s present hidden while Ali pulls her card for Ashlyn out of her bedside drawer. She sits up in bed and when Ashlyn returns with a card and a wrapped gift, Ali grins at the sight of her girlfriend. Her hair is disheveled and she’s clad in only a loose t-shirt and her underwear. Ashlyn hands Ali the card first and Ali carefully tears into the envelope. 

 

As usual, the card is fairly simple, making Ashlyn’s writing stand out. 

 

_ Ali,  _

 

_ These last three years have been some of the best of my life. They’ve tested me and our relationship more than I ever thought possible and although we’ve hit some bumps along the way, I fall more in love with you every day.  _

 

_ You are my past, present, and future and I cannot imagine spending this life with anyone but you. You are my light in the dark and the one person on the planet I trust with every part of me. You are my best friend and I think about how lucky I am every single day.  _

 

_ I am so excited to see where our future takes us. There are a lot of unknowns in our lives right now but the one thing I’m certain about is you and our love.  _

 

_ Happy anniversary, baby,  _

_ Ash _

 

“God, you write the best cards,” Ali says. She carefully displays the card on her night stand and turns to look at Ashlyn, who is holding two gift bags in her hands. She hands Ali the smaller size one first and when Ali reaches into the bag, she pulls out a bottle of massage oil. 

 

“Oooh, babe, this is great. You’re gonna give me a massage? No ulterior motives here, right?” 

 

“Nope, none at all,” Ashlyn teases. “I’ll give you a massage and you’ll give me one and then we’ll put all our clothes back on and go to sleep.” 

 

“Uh huh, and I was thinking about massages of the full release variety.” 

 

“Dirty mind,” Ashlyn winks. “Okay, open this one now,” she says, handing Ali the much larger gift bag. 

 

Ali takes the bag from her girlfriend’s hands and digs through the tissue paper, pulling out a poster in a white frame. 

 

The poster is black with a white circle towards the top, white dots filling the circle. Towards the bottom, she finds white text. 

 

_ OUR FIRST DATE _

_ THE NIGHT SKY _

_ E CAMERON AVE, CHAPEL HILL, NC 27514, USA _

_ 5TH DECEMBER, 2017 _

_ 35.9121° N, 79.0512° W _

 

“It’s pretty self explanatory but it’s what the sky looked like the night of our first date,” Ashlyn explains. “We both love our bracelets so much that I figured we needed something similar for our apartment. It’s cool because we can get them for future special events in our relationship too.” 

 

Tears well in Ali’s eyes as she looks at the gift. It’s perfect and she can already imagine it hanging above their bed. No matter where they live, this will always be a reminder of where they started. “It’s absolutely perfect. I’m speechless.”

 

“That’s a first,” Ashlyn teases.  “Do you like it?” 

 

“I love it and I love you. We should hang it above our bed.”

 

“That’s where I was thinking too,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

Ali carefully sets the frame next to her on the bed and hands Ashlyn her card. Ashlyn excitedly tears into the envelope, finding a card with a heart on the front. Inside, she finds a gift certificate to her tattoo shop and Ali’s careful penmanship. 

 

_ Ash,  _

 

_ Happy anniversary, beautiful!  _

 

_ We’ve come so far in these last three years that it’s difficult to remember my life before you. Even if I tried, I couldn’t dream up a better person for me. You are everything I could ever ask for and more and I am so lucky that you’re mine and I’m yours.  _

 

_ I am so proud of you and all you’ve accomplished these last few years and I am so excited to see everything else you accomplish. More than anything, though, I’m excited to continue this journey of life by your side.  _

 

_ All my love,  _

_ Ali _

 

“So you want me to get a new tattoo?” Ashlyn questions, holding up the gift certificate. 

 

“I love your current one and I know you’ve been talking about starting a sleeve soon so I figured you could put this towards the first part of your sleeve. I know it’s kind of lame to give gift cards but I made an exception for this.”

 

“It’s amazing, Al, I can’t wait to make my appointment.” 

 

They don’t leave their apartment all day until it’s time to go to dinner at their favorite steakhouse. They both order a drink with their dinners but since they celebrated with the team the previous night, neither wants to get drunk. They both switch to water after their first drink as they enjoy their dinner together. 

 

Halfway through dinner, Ashlyn studies Ali’s face. A year ago, they’d just gotten back on speaking terms after Ali texted her on their anniversary. Before that initial contact, Ashlyn thought that she might have lost Ali forever so when Ali showed up at her house on Christmas Eve, she promised herself never to lose Ali again. “Think we’ve made up for our missed anniversary last year?”

 

“More than,” Ali replies. “I was so nervous if I should text you or not.”

 

“I’m glad you did,” Ashlyn grins. “And I’m even more glad that it’s all behind us and we’re better than ever.” 

 

“You know what else would be a good way to make up for last year?” 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“If you rail me when we get home.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Ashlyn asks, eyebrows raised in amusement. “You didn’t get enough earlier when I ate you out in the shower?”

 

“It’s never enough, you know that,” Ali says. “You look so cute in your suit but I can’t wait to take it off of you.” 

 

Ashlyn looks around and playfully raises her hand like she’s asking for their check. Ali laughs at her girlfriend’s antics and continues eating her steak. She eats as slowly as possible in an attempt to tease Ashlyn a little. Ashlyn, meanwhile, can’t seem to finish her food quickly enough and when she finishes, she sits and waits for Ali to finish as well. 

 

Ashlyn pays their bill and when they’re all set, she holds Ali’s hand on the way to the car. Their apartment is only a few minutes away so they’ve only listened to two songs on the radio before Ashlyn pulls into their parking lot and finds a spot near their entrance. 

 

When they make it to their apartment, Ali pulls Ashlyn in for a passionate kiss as soon as the door is closed and locked behind them. Without breaking the kiss, she takes Ashlyn’s suit jacket off and starts working the buttons on her shirt. Ashlyn leads them to the bedroom as Ali works, clothes strewn all along the path to their room. 

 

By the time they make it to their room, only their underwear remain, which they strip out of while standing in front of their bed. When they’re both bare, Ashlyn pushes Ali down onto the bed, keeping her pinned down as they make out. Their chests brush as Ashlyn holds herself above Ali, their mipples hardening and adding fuel to their desire. 

 

Ashlyn maintains her dominance over Ali as they continue to get more and more heated. Ali loves it when she’s a little aggressive and Ashlyn loves being the one Ali allows to have complete control over her. In most other situations, Ali likes to be in charge so for her to be a little submissive in bed sometimes does wonders for Ashlyn’s confidence. 

 

Ashlyn makes a slow journey down Ali’s body, taking time to appreciate every inch she can reach with her mouth. When she finally settles between Ali’s legs, Ali is practically begging to come but Ashlyn doesn’t want to let it happen just yet. She laps at Ali’s clit until Ali is right at the edge and then pulls away, eliciting groans of frustration from her girlfriend. 

 

“Ash, please,” Ali whimpers. “Please.” 

 

“Not yet.” 

 

Ashlyn stays still for a few seconds before working her tongue over Ali again. It takes no time at all for Ali to show signs of an imminent orgasm and when she does, Ashlyn stops once again. 

 

“Ash, baby, you’re gonna kill me. Please just let me come” 

 

“You’ll come when I want you to come,” Ashlyn says. This time, when she goes back to work, she slides two fingers into Ali but doesn’t touch her clit at all. The different sensation drives Ali wild but it takes a little longer before she’s close to the edge again. This time, when she’s close, Ashlyn doesn’t stop. Instead, she increases her pace and starts using her tongue as well as her fingers. 

 

“Ash, fuck,” Ali moans. “Fuck.” She closes her eyes, arching her back and digging her head and heels into the mattress. As she comes, she lets a loud moan escape from her lips and not for the first time, Ashlyn is incredibly thankful that they don’t have roommates to disturb anymore. 

 

“Good, baby?” Ashlyn asks as she licks her fingers clean and wipes her chin. “We need to change the sheets.” 

 

“God, I was ready to kill you if you didn’t let me come. I would try to torture you like that but you kinda wore me out. Oh, wait, I have an idea. Wait here.”

 

Ashlyn lies on her back and waits as Ali goes back out to the living room. She returns a few seconds later with Ashlyn’s tie from earlier in her hands. “What are you gonna do with that?” 

 

“Tie you up,” Ali smirks. 

 

Between taking so long to get Ali off and Ali’s idea to tie her up, Ashlyn thinks she might come before Ali even touches her. She lets Ali tie her hands above her head and watches as Ali leaves hickies on her chest, abdomen, and inner thighs. 

 

When Ali finally kisses when Ashlyn needs her the most, Ashlyn’s eyes roll into the back of her head. She’s desperate to come and normally when she’s in this state, she might use her hands to stimulate her nipples but since they’re tied up, she figures she’ll get in trouble if she tries anything like that. She stays put, focusing on the sensations of Ali eating her out.  

 

She’s nowhere near as loud as Ali and when she comes around Ali’s tongue and fingers, she moans Ali’s name quietly. As she catches her breath, Ali moves up to the top of the bed and flops down onto her pillow. 

 

“Thanks for an amazing belated anniversary,” Ali says. “You’re kind of my favorite person.” 

 

“Kind of?” Ashlyn asks, an eyebrow quirked. 

 

“Okay, you’re definitely my favorite person. You give me mind blowing orgasms.” 

 

“And what else?” 

 

“Let’s see,” Ali begins, pretending to think as she tickles Ashlyn’s arm. “You’re supportive of my dreams and you let me steal your clothes and you make me laugh a lot. Oh, and you want to marry me one day so that’s cool.” 

 

Ashlyn grins and pulls Ali in for a quick kiss. “I love you.”

 

“I love you more.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little late today whoops. I'll get the last two chapters up this week likely on my normal update days of tuesday and thursday but if you're really nice, you might sway me to get them up earlier ;) 
> 
> those night sky posters are great gifts. I got one for my cousin and her now husband for their wedding with their wedding song as the caption and the date and location of the wedding. They both cried when I gave it to them haha.


	39. Chapter 39

  
  


“Okay, thank you for the opportunity, see you then,” Ashlyn says. She ends the call, smiling as she looks at Ali dozing on the couch. She’s using Ashlyn’s lap as a pillow and as Ashlyn sets her phone down on the coffee table, she starts playing with Ali’s hair again.  

 

“Who was that?” Ali sleepily mumbles. Anyone else might not have understood what she said but after more than three years together, Ashlyn is fluent in Ali’s mumbles. 

 

“Guess who’s been called into January camp with the senior national team,” Ashlyn says, a grin on her face. 

 

Ali is up in an instant. She sits up, grinning as she faces her girlfriend. “Really?” she asks, hope and excitement evident in her voice. 

 

“Yep. That was the head coach calling to tell me I’ve been invited for camp. Said I was really impressive in the NCAA tournament and they’d like to evaluate me with the national team.” 

 

“Ash, baby, that’s amazing. You’re gonna be so great.” She puts a gentle hand on Ashlyn’s cheek, pulling her in for a celebratory kiss. She bites at Ashlyn’s bottom lip just before pulling away. 

 

“I might be able to attend the draft now,” Ashlyn says. “The draft is in LA and I imagine it’s gonna take place on a day off of camp. I think Alex is being called in again too.” A few months ago, Alex got her first senior national call up and performed well enough in camp to earn her first two caps, scoring just minutes into her second cap after coming on in the second half. They try not to pay too much attention to draft rumors and predictions but she’s almost a sure bet to be the number one draft pick. Whitney is also entering the draft and Ashlyn can’t wait to see where her friends end up. 

 

“Any more word from professional coaches?” Ali asks. They’ve been trying to predict where Ashlyn will end up in the hope that Ali will get into a law school nearby (if she applied in the area—there are some places she didn’t apply). Their best bets for their paths aligning are DC, North Carolina, and Orlando, where Ali applied to multiple schools in the area. She also has applications out in Boston, near Sky Blue, and Chicago. Both women are hoping that Ashlyn won’t end up on the west coast because Ali didn’t apply anywhere out there, limiting her applications to the east coast. 

 

“None recently. I’m not worried about not being picked it’s more of worrying about where I end up.” She’s spoken with a few professional coaches who seemed interested but a lot of it will depend on how the draft goes and which teams need goalkeepers. With players like Alex, it’s a little easier to predict where she’ll end up because she’s likely to go as the number one pick which belongs to Portland. For Ashlyn, however, it’s essentially a toss up of where she’ll go. 

 

“I know you have your preferences and I have mine too but I think we have to remember that even if you end up somewhere far away from me, it’s not forever. Just like if I don’t get into a law school I want, I’ll be happy just to get into one even if it’s not where you are or one of my top choices. We can handle whatever comes our way and we’ll both get to follow our dreams and it would only be a few years before we’d live together permanently.”

 

Ashlyn smiles, hand resting gently on Ali’s side. “You always know what to say. I’m gonna miss you while I’m at camp.”

 

“I’ll miss you more,” Ali says. She sits up, sliding her hand underneath the sleeve of Ashlyn’s t-shirt to trace her fingers along Ashlyn’s new tattoo, the start of her full sleeve. Ashlyn got it two weeks after they celebrated their anniversary and Ali has been familiarizing herself with the new ink ever since. She already knows every inch of Ashlyn’s body so whenever she gets a tattoo, it gives her something new to explore. “I’m gonna love when this is finished.” 

 

Ashlyn looks down at the tattoo on her upper arm, still getting used to it herself. She watches Ali carefully trace every line, goosebumps erupting when she hits a particularly ticklish spot. “Me too. Mostly because you do this every time I get a new one.” 

 

“So it’s all a ploy,” Ali laughs. “An unnecessary ploy because I tickle your arm anyway.” 

 

“Not like this though. You think I can get my camp roommate to do this for me?” 

 

“She better not. This is my job,” Ali says.  

 

“Your job forever, I promise,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

~

 

In early January, Ashlyn and Alex head off to January training camp together. As much as Alex tried to prepare her for what it’s like, there’s no comparison to experiencing it first hand. Her assigned roommate is Rose, a young but established national team midfielder. Ashlyn has never met her before, always a few years behind her on youth national teams. Ashlyn is nervous, at first, but Rose puts her at ease right away. 

 

Just minutes after arriving in the hotel room, there’s a knock on the door. Ashlyn swings the door open and doesn’t have a moment to process anything before she’s nearly tackled by Tobin and Kelley. 

 

“Oh, hi,” Ashlyn laughs, steadying herself again as she hugs her friends. 

 

“I was so excited when I heard you were called up,” Kelley says. “I’ve missed you.” 

 

“I’ve missed you too,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“You deserve it, bud,” Tobin says. 

 

“Yeah,” Kelley agrees. “I know we talked on the phone but holy shit, good job in the tournament. I bet it feels good to close out your college career with another title.” 

 

“It’s the best feeling,” Ashlyn grins. “You guys want to come in?” 

 

The trio settles onto Ashlyn’s bed together while Rose sits across from them on her own bed. “So how is it living with Ali now?” Kelley asks. 

 

“It’s great,” Ashlyn grins. “I mean, we practically lived together before because you know how often she was at the house but it’s really nice now knowing that I get to come home to her every day and we don’t have to coordinate sleepovers. How’s Jersey? Your teammates seem really fun.” 

 

“Oh my god, you have no idea,” Kelley laughs. “We have probably too much fun.” 

 

“And how’s Portland, Tobs?” 

 

“I love it,” Tobin says. “Definitely my kind of place. And Chris and I have been talking recently about her moving out there once she graduates. She kind of got the idea because Ali was applying to law schools near teams you might end up with.” 

 

“Would you live together or would she get her own place near you?” Ashlyn questions. 

 

“Probably live together. I think we’ve been together long enough and it’s already a big step for her to move to Portland for me so we might as well live together.” 

 

They spend the next half hour catching up, Rose joining in as she gets to know her roommate. After ten minutes, Alex knocks on the door and they catch her up on some of the things they’ve already discussed. When it’s time for a team meeting, they all change into their matching team issued outfits and Ashlyn can’t resist sending Ali a selfie of her in her first US senior national team gear. She captions it with the little American flag emoji and the soccer ball. 

 

_ Looks so good, babe. I’m so proud of you.  _

 

_ Thanks, Al. I’m proud of me too.  _

 

~

 

The trainings are more intense than anything Ashlyn has ever experienced. The goalkeepers are the first on the pitch and the last off of it at the end of the day. They do more drills than Ashlyn could have imagined but she finds herself learning a lot not only from the coaching staff but the senior goalkeepers as well. At night, she more exhausted than ever but she’s proud of herself and proud of the skills she’s showing to the coaching staff. 

 

The draft rolls around five days after the official start of camp and Ashlyn is thankful to have the day off. She, Alex, and a few other potential draftees get dressed up together and head to the hotel where the draft is to be held. Just before the draft begins, Ashlyn calls Ali one last time. 

 

“God, I’m so nervous,” Ashlyn says when Ali answers. 

 

“It’ll be okay,” Ali says. “You’ve had a lot of interest from coaches, right? And it’s like we said, any opportunity is a good opportunity at this point. What are you wearing?” 

 

“Navy suit, light blue shirt unbuttoned at the top. I’ll send you the pictures Alex and I took before we left. What are you wearing?”

 

“The lucky Carolina soccer v-neck I stole from your freshman year and the sweatpants with your number on them. I’m streaming the draft on our living room tv.”

 

“I have to get inside but I love you and I’ll text you later, okay?” 

 

“Of course. Good luck, superstar.” 

 

Ashlyn grins as she ends the call and makes her way into the draft room. She finds Alex sitting in the second row of seats and joins her friend. “Ready for this?” Alex asks. 

 

“Ready.” 

 

After a brief introduction, Portland is put on the clock for the first pick of the draft. It’s likely to be Alex, who holds Ashlyn’s hand tightly as they wait in their seats. Since it’s the first pick, it doesn’t take very long at all and soon enough, the commissioner is back on stage with the draft card in her hand. 

 

“With the first pick in the first round of the 2021 NWSL college draft the Portland Thorns select Alex Morgan, the University of North Carolina.” 

 

Ashlyn and Alex jump to their feet as soon as they hear Alex’s name. Ashlyn hugs her friend tight as they both try to control their emotions. They’ve been through everything together since middle school and now they’re experiencing one of the best moments of their lives together. “I’m so proud of you,” Ashlyn whispers. 

 

“Hey, by being such a good goalkeeper, you made me a better forward,” Alex grins. 

 

Alex goes up to the stage, posing for a photo with her new team scarf and takes to the podium. Ashlyn snaps pictures the entire time, feeling like a proud parent as she watches one of her best friends accept the first overall pick in the draft. 

 

Out in the audience, Alex’s speech is a blur for Ashlyn who can now only think about when she might hear her own name called. She knows she won’t go in the first round (goalkeepers rarely do) but she’s hoping for the second round. Alex doesn’t come back to her seat right away, instead being guided over to the commentary table for an interview that lasts until the second pick is announced. When she finally sits back down next to Ashlyn, she’s grinning from ear to ear. 

 

“There’s my first overall pick best friend,” Ashlyn says quietly. “Check out that new swag,” she says, gesturing to the Portland quarter zip and scarf Alex was just given.

 

“Pretty sweet, huh?” 

 

They watch the rest of the first round together and when the second round starts, Ashlyn feels her palms start sweating and her pulse quicken. Sometime within the next two rounds, she’ll learn her own fate and she mentally goes over what she wants to say a few more times. The second round takes longer than the first, coaches at the tables debating who to select. By the time the seventh pick in the round comes up, Ashlyn bounces her leg nervously. 

 

“In the seventh pick of the second round of the 2021 NWSL college draft, the North Carolina Courage select goalkeeper Ashlyn Harris, University of North Carolina.”

 

Too stunned to move, Ashlyn stays seated as eyes turn to her. “That’s you,” Alex whispers, gently nudging her in the side. 

 

Ashlyn stands, feeling like she’s in a dream as she makes her way to the stage. It’s not her top choice (that honor belongs to Orlando, her hometown team) but it’s in her and Ali’s shared top three, DC being the other top choice. Like the other players before her, Ashlyn stops to pose with her new Courage scarf before stepping up to the podium and looking around the room. 

 

“I’d like to thank my family, friends, and coaches for getting to this point. None of this would’ve happened without them and I am so thankful to have wonderful people behind me. Second, I’d like to thank the Courage for taking this chance on me. Fans in North Carolina are some of the best I’ve ever experienced and I’m thrilled to begin my professional career in front of them. Last but not least, I’d like to thank my girlfriend Ali for always believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. I wouldn’t be standing up here right now without you. Your support means the world to me. Thanks, everyone, I can’t wait to start this next journey.” 

 

The next ten minutes are a whirlwind. First, she’s escorted over to the desk for a quick interview, which she feels like she fumbles through because she has so much adrenaline. After the interview, she’s swept away for photos with her new coach and with her new Courage scarf and zip up. It’s not until the break between the second and third rounds that she finally makes it back to her seat where Alex is waiting for her. 

 

“So happy for you, Ash,” Alex says, hugging her friend. 

 

“Thanks,” Ashlyn grins. “I gotta go call Ali before they start again.” 

 

Ashlyn rushes out to the hallway, accepting a few high fives along the way. When she’s in the hall, she sees a bunch of texts that she’ll worry about later. Right now, she only wants to talk to Ali. 

 

Ali answers on the first ring and Ashlyn smiles, knowing that Ali must have been waiting for her call. “You did it, baby.” 

 

“Did you like my speech?” 

 

“I loved your speech even though it made me cry a little.” 

 

“Softie,” Ashlyn teases. “So how does it feel to be dating a professional athlete?” 

 

“Feels amazing,” Ali says. “So Duke or Carolina law, huh?” 

 

“Duke? No way you’re gonna be a blue devil,” Ashlyn scoffs. 

 

“I mean, I still have to get in but it’s a really good school, babe. And I’ll get to be with you.” 

 

“Fine, I guess I can handle that,” Ashlyn teases. “But you’re not gonna be, like, trying to get our future kids to go there, are you?” 

 

“Oh no, they’ll be baby tar heels for sure. Carolina blue from head to toe.” 

 

“Good,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

“I’m so proud of you, baby. It looks like they’re about to start the next round but I love you a lot and keep kicking ass in camp, okay? We’ll celebrate when you get home.” 

 

“Love you too. Can’t wait to see you.”

 

~

 

Ali follows every social media site she can in order to get updates from camp. When the first professional action shots of Ashlyn appear on her twitter timeline, she saves all of them to her phone and sets her favorite as her lock screen. Clad in her national team gear and standing tall in goal during a scrimmage, Ashlyn looks incredible. Ali stares at her new lock screen for a few moments before taking a screenshot of it and uploading it to twitter. 

 

_ When your girlfriend is a star,  _ she captions the image, followed by the soccer ball and flexed arm emojis. She tags Ashlyn in the photo, not thinking anything of it until the favorites, retweets, and responses start coming in. There’s a higher response than normal and when she checks some of the usernames, she recognizes only a few. 

 

_ apqnfirgub goals,  _ followed by the heart eyes emoji and the two girls holding hands, comes a response from someone Ali doesn’t know. She’s a Courage fan, based on her bio, and for the first time, Ali realizes that this is something they’ll have to deal with from now on. Ashlyn has always been well known on campus, particularly during senior year, but that really only translated to people congratulating her on a good game and getting invited to a lot of parties. This is completely uncharted territory for them. 

 

Ashlyn is worth whatever comes their way and she doesn’t want her to feel guilty so when they talk that night, she doesn’t even bring it up. She does, however, watch the way both of their follower counts grow steadily after the draft and wonders what other kind of changes Ashlyn being a professional athlete will bring. 

 

No matter the changes, Ali will be there to support Ashlyn just as Ashlyn will support her as she begins law school. 

 

When Ashlyn returns home from camp, Ali has candles lit, soft music playing, and their massage oil ready in the bedroom. She greets Ashlyn at the door, looping her arms around her neck as she stands on her toes to give her a kiss. “I’m so proud of you, babe. Have I told you that?” 

 

“I didn’t even dress for the game, Al,” Ashlyn says. Despite performing well in camp, she didn’t get to dress for the game, instead sitting in the stands with injured and other non-rostered players. She knew it was a long shot to get to dress but she had some hope and she was disappointed when she learned she’d be in the stands.

 

“Still, you were invited to camp and that’s a big first step. Soon enough, you’ll be out there playing, I know you will.” 

 

“Thanks, baby. It smells good in here.” 

 

“Follow me,” Ali grins. She takes Ashlyn’s hand and leads her into their room, where she has two of their favorite candles burning and the lights off. “I figured you would need a massage after all those trainings.” 

 

“I can definitely use one,” Ashlyn says. She pulls Ali in by the waist, smiling as Ali uses her pointer finger to trace the US soccer crest on her shirt. 

 

“So official,” Ali says. “But you’re gonna have to take it off.” 

 

Ashlyn strips out of her clothes and lies on her stomach in bed. Ali is nothing if not prepared so there are already towels down in case the massage oil drips. When she’s settled, Ali climbs on top of her, straddling Ashlyn with the massage oil in her hands.

 

Ali starts by putting a little oil onto her hands and starts kneading Ashlyn’s shoulders and upper back, eliciting an appreciative moan from her girlfriend. “Good, babe?” 

 

“That feels so good,” Ashlyn mumbles, face against the pillow. “Keep going.” 

 

Ali massages Ashlyn’s shoulders and upper back for a minute before sliding her hands down and tending to Ashlyn’s lower back. “Too much pressure? Not enough?” 

 

“Uh, you can go a little harder. I didn’t realize how tense I was from camp.” 

 

Ali presses harder into Ashlyn, working her hands all over her girlfriend’s back. She massages all over Ashlyn’s back for nearly twenty minutes before she gets up and grabs the oil once again. This time, she goes right for Ashlyn’s thighs, which she kneads gently. 

 

“Feels so good, Al,” Ashlyn says. “How did you know exactly what I would need?” 

 

“Because I know you.” 

 

“Can you do my shoulders again?” 

 

Ali moves back up to Ashlyn shoulders, though she doesn’t sit on her this time because she’s covered in oil and she doesn’t want to get it on her shorts. Instead, she kneels next to her in bed and starts working on her shoulders and upper back again. After a few more minutes, Ashlyn turns her head to look at Ali. “Want a turn? Then we can go shower all this oil off.” 

 

“Mmm, please.” 

 

Ali removes her clothes and lies on her stomach in bed. Ashlyn takes her turn massaging Ali, though she has a much harder time controlling her wandering hands than Ali did. Within five minutes, her hands find their way to Ali’s ass. 

 

“I knew you were gonna do that,” Ali laughs. 

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn says. She lies down on top of Ali and presses a kiss to her cheek. “Couldn’t control myself.” 

 

“If you get off of me, we can go take our shower together.” 

 

Ashlyn jumps out of bed, reaching her hand down to help Ali up as well. She leads the way into their bathroom and starts the shower while Ali sets up her phone and bluetooth speaker to continue playing their music. When she sets her phone down on the counter, Ashlyn circles her arms around her waist, pulling her close. “Missed you.” 

 

“Missed you too,” Ali grins. “My professional athlete girlfriend. So many people are already fawning over you, did you see that?”

 

“Yeah, some of the fans after practice were a little flirty,” Ashlyn laughs. “But you’re my only so they don’t have a chance.” 

 

“It’s kinda hot, actually. They’re all asking for selfies with you or commenting on your instagram and at the end of it all, you come home to me.” 

 

“Aren’t you lucky,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

“The luckiest. Come on, let’s rinse off this oil.” 

 

They enjoy a long, hot shower together and when they’re done, they’re both sated and ready to curl up in bed and watch a movie together. Ali falls asleep in Ashlyn’s arms while Ashlyn, still on Pacific time, finishes the movie they started. When it’s over, she adjusts herself as best as she can without waking Ali and watches her girlfriend sleep for a few minutes. 

 

They’ve been talking about their future a lot recently and now that she knows she’ll still be in the area, the picture has become a little more clear. Soon, Ali will receive her law school acceptances and another piece will fall into place. 

 

They only have three months until graduation but in many ways, both personally and professionally, they’re just getting started. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to update yesterday but it completely slipped my mind whoops. 
> 
> With next chapter being the last official chapter of their college journey, how would you like me to post the epilogue chapters? Last time I did them as additions to the main story but for playing house I made a separate story in the series. I'm leaning towards adding them as chapters here and maybe changing the chapter names from chapter x to epilogue x. Would that be helpful? I also have a deleted chapter to post.


	40. Chapter 40

  
  


Ali has her pick of law schools. 

 

She doesn’t get into a few (which gets under her skin more than it should) but for the most part, she’s in control of where she goes. She gets into both the Duke and North Carolina programs and although she’s dedicated to UNC, she chooses Duke. It’s the better program overall and she’s already done the UNC experience so she looks forward to a new environment, even though it’s just minutes from her current one. 

 

Ashlyn, however, can’t get over Ali choosing Duke. Duke is one of their biggest rivals and part of her hates that Ali is going to be a Blue Devil. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stick with Carolina?” she asks one night as Ali further looks into her new program. They’re on the couch, Ali with her feet propped in Ashlyn’s lap as she looks over information from her new school. 

 

“Babe, we’ve been over this,” Ali laughs. “Not many people even get into a top law school like Duke. I’ll always be dedicated to Carolina, don’t worry. We can even go to basketball games there decked out in Tar Heel blue, if you want.” 

 

“What if you find a Duke girlfriend?” 

 

Ali rolls her eyes and moves to sit on Ashlyn’s lap. She runs a hand through the longer hair on top of Ashlyn’s head and looks her in the eyes. “That would require either breaking up with or cheating on you, neither of which is ever going to happen. But you know, I’ve been thinking…” 

 

“About breaking up with me?” Ashlyn teases. 

 

“I just said that’s never going to happen,” Ali laughs, poking Ashlyn in the side. “I’ve been thinking that I want a tattoo.” 

 

Ashlyn’s not sure what she was expecting but this certainly isn’t it. As much as Ali loves her tattoos, she’s never expressed interest in getting any herself. “Yeah, sure you do, Al,” she teases. 

 

“I’m serious,” Ali protests. “My time here has been some of the best of my life and I want something to commemorate everything that’s happened here. I fell in love with you here and became so much more comfortable with myself. I love my sorority and I’ve met some of my best friends in it. Kyle came back into my life, I did study abroad and I’ve expanded my horizons more than I thought possible. We graduate in two weeks and I kind of want to do it as a graduation present to myself.” 

 

“So what do you want to get? And where?”

 

“I’m thinking something simple like the logo,” Ali says. “As for where, you’ll have to wait and see when you come to my appointment with me tomorrow.” 

 

“Tomorrow?” Ashlyn asks, eyebrows raised in surprise. “You’re getting a tattoo tomorrow?” 

 

“With your artist, yeah. It shouldn’t take long so I figured you wouldn’t mind coming with me.” 

 

“I’d love to go with you, I’m just surprised,” Ashlyn says. “Good surprise, though.” 

 

~

 

Ali’s appointment is early the next morning. When she scheduled, she picked the earliest possible appointment, figuring it would give her less time to freak out over what she’s about to do. Ashlyn grumbles a little about the early morning wake up call on a weekend but when she remembers why they’re getting up so early, she perks right up. The thought of Ali with a tattoo is an exciting enough prospect as it is but considering Ali won’t tell her where it’ll be gives Ashlyn the impression that the location is sure to drive her wild. 

 

Her hunch is correct. 

 

She soon learns that Ali and Leo did their consult over the phone when Ali made the appointment so when they arrive, Leo shows her the small stencil and asks if she wants any changes to the size or positioning. 

 

“Nope, we’re all set,” Ali grins. She gets on his work table and lies on her back, pulling down the waistband of her joggers. Leo positions the stencil right on Ali’s hipbone and Ashlyn sucks in a breath. 

 

“Jesus, Al,” Ashlyn says. She eyes the spot on Ali’s hip, the temporary outlines giving her an idea of what the final, permanent product will be. They haven’t even started and she already can’t wait to kiss it.

 

“I knew you would like it,” Ali laughs. “I didn’t tell you last night because I wanted it to be a surprised today.” 

 

Leo hands Ali a small mirror, asking if the positioning looks okay. 

 

“Perfect,” Ali grins. 

 

Since the tattoo is so small and not very detailed, the entire appointment takes a little less than an hour. When it’s done, Ashlyn stands with Ali by the full length mirror as they check out her new ink. 

 

“Somehow you just got even hotter,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“That’s how I felt when you started getting your tattoos.” 

 

“Are you gonna get more?” Ashlyn asks, excitement evident on her face. 

 

“Maybe,” Ali shrugs. “We’ll see how I do with this one first.” 

 

“I can’t wait until I can kiss it.” 

 

Ali smirks, images of Ashlyn loving on the freshly inked part of her body floating through her mind. Ashlyn already loves on her hips quite a bit and now her tattoo will give her something to focus on and Ali worries that she might have to pull Ashlyn away from it more than once. “Mmm, I can’t wait until you can kiss it either.”

 

~

 

Graduation sneaks up on them. 

 

Amidst all the term papers, final projects and exams, Ashlyn is already in season with the Courage (luckily she has mostly online classes this semester) and they’re preparing to move into a new apartment. Not knowing where they would end up after graduation, they only signed a one year lease on their current place and although they could stay where they are, they agreed to leave Chapel Hill and find something in between the training grounds and Duke. Just hours after graduation, Ashlyn has a home game and on Sunday, they’ll move into their new place together while they still have their families around to help. 

 

“Ugh, why did we decide to move right after finals?” Ali grumbles as they attempt to pack and study at the same time. Ali is currently taking a break from writing her capstone paper and is packing boxes while Ashlyn works on her online exam. 

 

“We’re masochists, that’s why,” Ashlyn says without looking away from her computer. “And I just accidentally typed masochists as I said that.” She shakes her head, deleting the mistake and continues typing out her intended answer. 

 

“Sorry, I’ll let you concentrate.” 

 

Somehow, despite how busy they both are, they manage to finish everything on time and the night before graduation, they go out to a celebratory dinner with their families. Both families drove (sans Kyle, who flew in from New York, where he’s been living for the last year), a much shorter journey for Ali’s parents than Ashlyn’s. 

 

“We’re so proud of you girls,” Deb beams as soon as everyone gets their drinks. “You have both worked so hard for this and I can’t wait to see your work recognized tomorrow.” 

 

“Thanks, Mom,” Ali grins. 

 

Deb initiates a toast to Ali and Ashlyn and after everyone clinks their glasses and takes a drink, the families go back to mingling. It’s the first time they’ve all met so they spend the dinner getting to know each other and make plans to sit together at graduation.

 

Ali and Ashlyn only have room to host one person at their apartment so after dinner, they bring Kyle back to their place while everyone else heads to the hotel. 

 

“Can you believe we made it to graduation?” Ashlyn asks as they get ready the next morning. 

 

“It doesn’t feel real. It feels like we should still be freshmen or something,” Ali says. “Like it was just yesterday that you let me sleep in your bed for the first time.” 

 

“I really played that one right, didn’t I?” Ashlyn laughs. “Note to all future students: let the cute girl from next door sleep in your bed the second night at school and she’ll fall in love with you.” 

 

“You should write a book,” Ali teases. 

 

They get ready as quickly as possible—Ashlyn in a black suit, white button down, and Carolina blue tie and Ali in a black floral dress—and drive to the arena where their graduation will be held. When they arrive, they finally put on their caps, gowns, and regalia. 

 

“Does your neck hurt with all that shit around it?” Ashlyn teases. Ali is decked out in regalia. She has the highest honor cords, a study abroad medallion, a Kappa Delta sash, and honors college cords. Ashlyn can hardly see her gown underneath all of her regalia. 

 

“You didn’t do too bad yourself,” Ali says. Like Ali, Ashlyn earned honors cords (though she has a different color signifying a lower GPA) and she has a student athlete sash. She worked hard in the classroom and on their field and Ali couldn’t be more proud of her girlfriend. She reaches her hands out, gently straightening Ashlyn’s student athlete sash. “We’re a power couple,” she grins. 

 

“Killing it,” Ashlyn says, her dimple showing as she smiles. “I can’t wait to see what’s next.” 

 

~

 

They don’t get to sit together at the ceremony. Names are called by degree and since they have different majors, they can’t sit together. It’s a little ironic, Ali thinks. They went through their college experience side by side and now during their final act as undergraduates, they can’t sit together.

 

Once they separate to get in their respective lines, Ali easily locates the political science sign and joins her classmates. Sienna is also graduating and when Ali gets in line, Sienna is the first one to greet her. 

 

Although they got close during their time as roommates in Germany (too close, considering their almost hookup), they’ve gone back to mostly acquaintances since they got back home. They talk on social media every so often and text rather infrequently. They both look back on their time in Germany with fondness and Ali is thankful that things aren’t super awkward between them. 

 

“Countdown to paying back student loans starts now,” Sienna jokes. 

 

“Not for me; I just get to pile more on top of my current ones. Luckily I had a half ride so it shouldn’t be too bad. My law school loans, on the other hand…” 

 

“Hey, at least you’ll be making a lot of money. I still can’t decide if I’ll do grad school or not.” 

 

“Run away,” Ali laughs. “These study abroad medallions are pretty sweet.”   

 

“They better be; that trip was so expensive. We deserve a medal for all we had to pay. Is Ashlyn graduating today?”

 

“Yeah, luckily we’re both in the early graduation because she has a game tonight. We’re gonna take pictures after, go to lunch with our families, and then go get ready for her game. Then tomorrow we move into our new place right in between Duke and the stadium.”  

 

“Jesus,” Sienna laughs. “My only plan for the rest of the weekend is to get drunk with my friends and my sister tonight but now I feel like I gotta get my life together.” 

 

“Trust me, I wish we didn’t have any other responsibilities this weekend. Real life comes at you fast.”

 

Just as they fall into a slightly awkward silence, neither really knowing what more to say to the other, Whitney joins the rest of the political science graduates. She saves Ali from potentially very awkward silence and Ali has never been happier to see her. 

 

“Hey, Ali,” Whitney greets. “I got stuck in the worst traffic.” 

 

“Oh, I know, I made Ash leave fifteen minutes earlier than we originally planned because I knew it would be horrible. You coming to her game tonight?”

 

Whitney shakes her head, a string of her tassel getting caught in her lipstick. She brushes the tassel away from her face. “I’d love to but my flight to Chicago leaves super early tomorrow and I still have to finish packing. I start training with the team on Monday.” 

 

Whitney was selected by Chicago in the college draft and while Alex elected to finish her last semester online so she could join Portland for preseason, Whitney decided to wait until after graduation to join her professional team. Like Ali, she has aspirations to attend law school one day but for the moment, she’s thrilled to continue her soccer career at the professional level. 

 

They chat a little while longer and when it’s time to line up to march into the arena, Whitney gets behind Ali so they’ll end up sitting next to each other. 

 

The ceremony is shorter than Ali expected. The communication students are among the first undergrads to walk across the stage, the video screens projecting their name, degree, and academic accomplishments. In the case of student athletes, their athletic accomplishments are also noted. 

 

When Ashlyn’s name is called and she walks across the stage, Ali sneaks some photos of her and of the video board, beaming with pride at how much Ashlyn has accomplished in the last four years. Her bulleted accomplishments are so numerous that the font is noticeably smaller than anyone else’s just to fit them all on screen. After her name and degree, the list is extensive, noting that she graduates cum laude, is a member of the ACC academic honor roll and ACC all-academic team, is a two time NCAA national champion, a one time ACC tournament champion, and was a second round draft pick in the NWSL college draft. 

 

“The font was so small that I could hardly even read all her stuff up there,” Whitney half-jokes once Ashlyn has returned to her seat. 

 

“I think she even has me beat because they don’t list sororities or anything like that.”

 

“Should’ve played soccer,” Whitney teases. 

 

When it comes time for the political science graduates, Ali nervously adjusts her cap as they wait in line. She and Ashlyn both decorated the top of their caps and the bow on the back corner of hers makes it slide backwards a lot. Hers is rather generic with sparkles and their graduation year (she didn’t dare put anything relating to Duke Law given the rivalry between the two schools) and a bow on the back with her initials on it. Ashlyn’s is a little more understated with the North Carolina logo on the side where her tassel begins and the Courage logo on the other side, where she’ll turn her tassel. 

 

When she’s next in line, she hands the person her card, which they scan the barcode on, the system they use for pulling up the slides about each graduate. She takes her card back and hands it to the next person, the ones actually reading the names. 

As she walks across the stage, she can hear Ashlyn’s voice emanating from the sea of students and her family cheering from the crowd. She smiles as she shakes hands with everyone and accepts her diploma cover, the smile never leaving her face.

 

She did it. They did it. 

 

As a freshman moving away from home for the first time and not knowing anyone at school, there were a lot of unknowns. She knew what she wanted to do in life but that was about it and she jumped into a new environment without a safety net. She figured she would make some amazing friends along the way but she never imagined she’d meet the person she plans on spending her life with on just her second night at school. 

 

Ashlyn helped make this place a home and she’ll forever be grateful to this university for bringing them together. 

 

When the ceremony is over, she finds Ashlyn, putting both hands on her cheeks and pulling her in for a kiss. “I’m so proud of you.”

 

“I’m proud of you too,” Ashlyn grins. “Let’s find the fam.” 

 

They take some photos in and around the arena and although they certainly have enough in these locations, there’s one more location on Ali’s list. She holds Ashlyn’s hand and together, they lead their family to Old Well. “This is where Ash asked me to be her girlfriend,” Ali explains. “It wouldn’t feel right to not take pictures here.” 

 

“Gay,” Kyle teases. 

 

There are a few other graduates taking photos so they wait their turn. Ashlyn never lets go of Ali’s hand and playfully swings their arms as they wait. “This really is the best place on campus,” she says, grinning at Ali. It’s a beautiful spring day and as she looks around at the heart of campus, she feels happy, content, and ready for their next adventures. 

 

She’s still settling into her role as a backup keeper on her professional team and she knows Ali will face adjustments when she begins law school in a few weeks. They’re still finding their way in the world but Ali is a certainty in her life. As they wait their turn to take photos by Old Well, she thinks about their future. Suddenly, she finds herself imagining coming back to this very spot in a few years and asking Ali to be her wife. 

 

“Ash, you alive in there?” Ali asks, pulling Ashlyn out of her reverie. 

 

“Yeah, sorry.” 

 

“It’s our turn,” Ali says. She walks with Ashlyn up to the structure, both turning to face their families. For the first few photos, they stand with their arms around each other’s waists and then Ali turns slightly and puts her hand on Ashlyn’s chest, smiling from ear to ear. 

 

When they’ve taken enough photos in their caps and gowns, they pass them off to their families and pose in their dress clothes. They get a few more pictures taken and when it seems like they’re done, Ashlyn circles her arms around Ali’s waist and pulls her in, looking into her eyes. Neither woman is aware that Kyle is still snapping photos with his camera and when he shows them his shots later that evening, both women are thankful for the candid images. “I love you.” 

 

“I love you more,” Ali grins. “I know we’re only moving, like, thirty minutes away and we can come back whenever we want but I’m gonna miss this place.” 

 

“Good thing we already have these bracelets so we always have part of it with us,” Ashlyn says. “And I’m glad we’ll still be in the area for a while even though I’d eventually like to play for Orlando.” She is incredibly grateful to the Courage for the opportunity to continue to the next level and improve her game. She’ll stay with them for as long as they’ll have her but deep down, she wants to play for her home team. She’ll never express this desire to anyone but Ali and her family, lest she seem ungrateful for her current opportunities, but she hopes that eventually, she’ll be in Pride purple and playing in front of her friends and family every week.

 

“You’ll get there. I know they probably want you there as badly as you want to be there, it’s just a matter of them needing a goalkeeper.” 

 

“You’ll go with me?”

 

“Anywhere, baby. I’ll go with you anywhere.”

 

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this story. I loved writing this one so thank you for loving it as much as I do.


	41. deleted chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally chapter 18, set during their freshman year. I decided to save it as a deleted chapter to move the story along a little more

  
  


Nearly the entire soccer team ends up participating in the Kappa Delta 5k. After their first morning running together, Ali asked Ashlyn if she would pass along the info to her teammates, many of whom agreed to participate. On St. Patrick’s Day, Ali and Ashlyn get up early to meet their friends at the center of campus, where the event is scheduled to begin and end. 

 

Kelley, Alex, and Whitney are the first ones they spot so Ali excitedly waves them down and leads Ashlyn to where they’re standing. “Hey, thanks for doing this,” Ali says, greeting each of them with a hug. 

 

“It’s a good cause and I’m always down to get a t-shirt,” Kelley says. “How’d you get Ash to agree to this? I don’t know if you know this but goalkeepers are notorious for hating to run.” 

 

Ali shrugs, not willing to say exactly how she got Ashlyn to agree to run a 5k. They’ve ran every Sunday morning together for a month now and every single time has ended in the shower together. It’s to the point that Ali is pretty sure she inadvertently conditioned Ashlyn to expect shower sex after working out together. 

 

Ashlyn, however, has no qualms about oversharing. “It’s amazing what she can get me to do when she promises we can take a shower together after. I’ve been promised a nice, long shower together when we’re done and I intend to make the best of it.” 

 

Ali shoots Ashlyn an annoyed look, crossing her arms over her chest. “That promise is only good if you keep your mouth shut. Check the fine print on the girlfriend contract.” 

 

“God, you are such a lawyer,” Ashlyn laughs. When she sees that Ali is clearly annoyed, she kisses her cheek gently. “Sorry, babe.” 

 

“Are you guys coming to the party tonight? O’Reilly and I are ready to celebrate our Irish roots.” Kelley says.

 

“Can’t. I have to work tonight.” 

 

“They should just close the library tonight. It’s not like anyone is gonna be there,” Alex says. 

 

“You’re not wrong but that means this will be the easiest shift ever so I don’t mind too much. I can party with you guys any time.” 

 

“Listen to you, miss maturity. Is that what happens when you have a wife?” Kelley teases. 

 

“Kinda,” Ashlyn laughs. 

 

The group walks over to the check-in table, receiving their t-shirts and pulling them on over their tank tops. They’re just about to take a group photo together when Ali spots Heather and Becky next to the water table and Christen chatting with Tobin and Julie. Ali excuses herself to gather their other friends. 

 

They take a bunch of different photos on Heather’s phone and when the official photographer spots the large group, she requests them to pose again. By the time they’re done, the run is almost set to begin so Heather excuses herself to go where they have a small sound system set up next to the starting (and, later, finish) line. Ali watches as someone hands Heather a microphone and Heather begins speaking. 

 

“Hi, everyone, we’ll get started in just a minute. I’m Heather O’Reilly, I’m the student president of Kappa Delta here at UNC and I would like to thank everyone for coming today and supporting this cause. A massive thank you to Underground Printing for designing and donating these wonderful shirts for today and to our fellow Greek organizations on campus for helping us get the word out. This is one of our best turnouts yet and I can’t wait to see our final totals. Now let’s do this!” 

 

Heather hands the microphone back and when they get the signal to start, she takes the lead, keeping a slow pace until her friends catch up from their place in the middle of the pack. 

 

“God, I’m so glad there’s such a good turnout,” Heather says as they jog together. “You never know with it actually being on St. Patrick’s Day this year.” 

 

“Gotta work off all that green beer we’re gonna drink later,” Kelley says. 

 

“You know, I almost said something like that in my speech but we have some weird rules about drinking. Like we can’t drink in our letters or have it in the house so I figured it wouldn’t be cool to talk about it at an event we’re sponsoring. But, yeah, I’m gonna drink all the green beer tonight.” 

 

The group splits up a little the longer they run. Heather and Becky end up spotting Allie and some other girls from the sorority so they run to catch up with them while Tobin, Christen, and Julie end up dropping back a little. Towards the end, Alex and Kelley let their competitive nature take over and they decide to race each other to the finish line, leaving Ashlyn, Ali, and Whitney together. 

 

“You’ve complained about running less today that you do at practice,” Whitney says. 

 

“Ashlyn complaining? I can’t picture it,” Ali teases. “Trust me, she did enough complaining on our Sunday morning runs for the last month.”

 

“I’m so excited to sleep in tomorrow morning. No more running at the ass crack of dawn on Sunday mornings.” 

 

“I’m gonna wake you up just for fun,” Ali says. 

 

“Try it and I’ll kick you out of bed. It’s a long way down so you better put pillows on the floor if you’re gonna try that,” Ashlyn teases. 

 

“Oh, she’s out for blood,” Ali laughs. “Poor baby had to get up early to run once a week for a month how will she ever recover?” 

 

“Sounds like some shower sex is gonna do the trick,” Whitney says. 

 

“I hate you both.” 

 

When they cross the finish line, they hang around for a bit to link up with their other friends, chatting excitedly about what a successful event it was and celebrating their accomplishment of running a 5k. Someone offers a selfie stick so they get their group together and take a selfie with the finish line in the background. Just before they leave, Ali asks Whitney to take a photo of her and Ashlyn in front of the finish line. 

 

They stand underneath the banner bearing the word “finish” with the Kappa Delta letters on either side. They both point up at the banner, Ali’s mouth open in excitement and Ashlyn grinning as Whitney snaps a picture. 

 

“Frame worthy,” Whitney says. 

 

“Thanks, Whit,” Ali says, closing the gap to take her phone from Whitney’s outstretched hand. “And thanks again for coming; it means a lot to have the team’s support for this kind of stuff.” 

 

“Honestly, I had a great time. I’m sure I’ll sign up next year too. I should get going but I’ll see you guys soon.”

 

They say their goodbyes with Whitney and start the trek back to the dorms hand in hand.  It’s early afternoon now and with the sun shining and few clouds, it’s starting to warm up considerably. 

 

Ali is sweaty and tired and she can’t wait to shower with Ashlyn any more than Ashlyn can wait to shower together but as they walk through campus with their hands laced together on such a beautiful day, she feels more content than she’s ever felt. 

 

~

 

“Alex, I swear to god, you better have a damn good reason to be calling me at nine in the morning after I worked until two last night,” Ashlyn says into her phone as she answers her friend’s call. Even Ali, the earlier riser in the relationship, is still asleep after spending the majority of her night in the library as Ashlyn reshelved books. 

 

“Trust me, it’s a doozy,” Alex says in a whisper, the sound of running water almost overpowering her voice. “Remember how I said my parents were flying in last night? Well, I didn’t think they’d be too interested in seeing the dorm and I’m staying in the hotel with them anyway so I can spend time with them so it’s not like they even have a reason to come to the dorm, right? But now they’re, like, adamant about seeing it so I need your help.” 

 

“Your side of the room is clean, if that’s what you mean.” 

 

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Alex says. “They’ll know I don’t stay there if it’s clean. When did you ever see my room clean at home?” 

 

“Never.” 

 

“Exactly. So can you maybe, like, I don’t know, make my side of the room look lived in? Put some random textbooks on my desk and stuff. Doesn’t Ali take the same math class as me just at a different time? You could put her textbook on my desk and stuff like that.” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. What time do you think you’ll be here?” 

 

“I’m supposed to be showering right now then we’re going to lunch so not for a while. I owe you.” 

 

Ashlyn ends the call with Alex, rolling her eyes dramatically. 

 

“Who was that?” Ali mumbles. 

 

“Alex. Her parents are coming to see the room and we need to make it look like she actually lives here. Want to help me mess up her bed?”

 

“Why do you need me to—oh,” Ali says. “Yeah, okay. It’s what she gets for waking us up, right?”

 

“I love that we’re on the same wavelength.”  

 

They move from Ashlyn’s bed to Alex’s bed, marvelling for a moment at how different the room looks from this angle. After being so used to Ashlyn’s side of the room (Ali’s bed in her room is on the wall farthest from the door like Ashlyn’s bed), everything just seems slightly off from this angle. 

 

“What do you think?” Ali asks. 

 

“I think her bed isn’t broken in enough and that we should probably help her out.” 

 

“Oh yeah?” Ali says. Her heart starts beating faster by the second as her excitement builds and she hopes Ashlyn never stops having that effect on her. 

 

Ashlyn nods, brushing Ali’s bottom lip with her thumb. She looks into Ali’s eyes, getting lost for a moment as they hold each other’s gaze. “I love you.” 

 

“I love you too,” Ali says. She kisses Ashlyn softly, both of them content to take things slow as they continue to wake up. Neither is in a rush so they take their time, taking full advantage of a lazy morning. When they’re ready for more, Ali trails kisses along Ashlyn’s jaw and sucks as a sensitive spot behind her ear, drawing breathy moans from her girlfriend. 

 

Ali smirks at Ashlyn’s reaction and sucks the sensitive spot a little harder for a moment before trailing kisses down to Ashlyn’s neck. She snakes a hand under Ashlyn’s sweatshirt, lightly trailing her fingers over Ashlyn’s skin until she reaches her chest, cupping one of her breasts lightly and rolling her palm over Ashlyn’s nipple. Ashlyn’s back arches off the bed at Ali’s touches and she sucks in a breath. 

 

Unable to wait much longer, Ali sits up and removes her sleep shirt, prompting Ashlyn to do the same. Ashlyn has hardly managed to toss her shirt to the floor when Ali pushes her back into a laying position, straddling her lap. She takes one of Ashlyn’s nipples into her mouth, using her hand to stimulate the other one while Ashlyn writhes beneath her. 

 

“Fuck me, Al,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali pauses what she’s doing to help take Ashlyn’s tight boxer briefs off. With Ashlyn’s last garment removed, Ali lightly trails her fingers up and down Ashlyn’s bare thighs while she switches over to sucking and biting at her other nipple. Ashlyn squirms a little underneath her and Ali can’t help but smirk once again at the effect she has on her girlfriend. She teases Ashlyn a little longer, gently running her fingers over her thighs before finally bringing it between Ashlyn’s legs. 

 

Ashlyn is wetter than she expected, worked up from the agonizing pace they’ve kept since moving into Alex’s bed. Ali figures they’ve wasted enough time and she certainly doesn’t want to be walked in on by Alex and her parents so she strokes Ashlyn quickly while alternating between Ashlyn’s breasts with her mouth. 

 

“Fuck, baby, so good,” Ashlyn says. 

 

Ali works Ashlyn’s clit with her fingers for a few minutes before pausing, eliciting a groan of frustration from her girlfriend. 

 

“Al, please,” Ashlyn whines, lifting her head off the pillow a little to see why Ali stopped.

 

“Relax,” Ali laughs. “I only stopped so I can put my fingers inside you.”

 

Ashlyn sighs as she drops her head back onto the pillow. Ali enters her with two fingers, curling them in just the right way so they continuously hit her g-spot, pushing her closer and closer to orgasm. “Shit,” Ashlyn groans. “Don’t stop.” 

 

Ali starts kissing Ashlyn’s neck as she pumps into her girlfriend. Even if Ashlyn weren’t vocalising how close she is, Ali would be able to tell based on how she’s bearing down on her fingers, making it harder for her to move. Ali can tell just how close Ashlyn is so it’s no surprise when she comes a few seconds later, moaning her name. 

 

“I think it gets better every time,” Ashlyn muses as Ali rolls off of her and licks her fingers clean. 

 

“Practice makes perfect,” Ali grins. 

 

Ashlyn nods her head in agreement and rolls on top of Ali, ready to repay the favor. She figures they don’t have much time now so she pulls Ali sleep shorts and panties off in one move and takes one of her nipples into her mouth. One hand goes under Ali’s ass for a moment, gripping tightly before removing it and putting it between Ali’s legs. 

 

“Someone enjoyed getting me off,” she teases, feeling the wetness pooled between Ali’s legs. 

 

“Just a little,” Ali laughs. 

 

Ashlyn runs her fingers through Ali’s folds before removing them and bringing them to her mouth to lick them clean. Ali always enjoys watching Ashlyn do that after she’s made her come so she figures she can’t go wrong doing it before. 

 

“Jesus, Ash,” Ali moans.

 

Ashlyn makes a show of sucking her fingers clean before putting her hand between Ali’s legs again and drawing Ali in for a kiss, allowing her to taste herself. Though she’s only just started touching her, the buildup of making Ashlyn come first and tasting herself on Ashlyn’s tongue has Ali close to the edge after just a few strokes of Ashlyn’s fingers. 

 

Ali moans her pleasure, grinding her hips in time with Ashlyn’s movements. She bucks her hips so much that Ashlyn wonders if she’d even noticed if she stopped moving her fingers. 

 

“Baby, let me do the work,” Ashlyn says. She uses her other hand to pin Ali’s hips down to the bed, upping her pace to make up for the lost friction that was created by Ali’s movements.

 

The faster pace works wonders and Ali comes suddenly and silently, her mouth hanging open. Ashlyn strokes her gently through her orgasm and when she stills, she cleans her fingers with her mouth once again.

 

“Guess we probably don’t have too long to lie here before they arrive, huh?” Ali says. 

 

“Probably not,” Ashlyn agrees. “I would say we should shower together but I know we’d get distracted. How about you go shower and I’ll finish trashing the rest of Alex’s side. Oh, she mentioned that you two have the same math textbook so we should put yours on her desk. Would you mind if I get it from your backpack while you shower?” 

 

“No, of course not. She’s really not playing games here.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “Her parents aren’t, like, prudes or anything but they definitely wouldn’t approve of her staying at Serv’s most nights.” 

 

“Yeah, I get that. I’m sure my parents wouldn’t want to hear how many nights I spend with you.” 

 

“No, probably not.” 

 

Ali climbs down the ladder from Alex’s bed first, picking her clothes up off of the floor and heading into the bathroom. Ashlyn pulls her own clothes on and follows right behind, brushing her teeth after Ali before leaving Ali alone in the bathroom to shower. 

 

Ashlyn does the best she can to make it look like Alex stays in the room. She messes up the clothes in her small dresser (though most of her clothes are at Serv’s) and even finds some of the clothes Ali has left in the room to put into Alex’s empty hamper. She puts Ali’s math textbook on Alex’s desk and takes a couple of partially full water bottles from her side of the room and puts them on Alex’s desk, on her dresser, and even one up in bed. By the time Ali returns to the room in fresh clothes and with wet hair, Ashlyn thinks she’s done a pretty good job at making it look like Alex actually lives in the room. 

 

Ashlyn takes her turn showering and when she returns, she and Ali go up to her bed to watch Netflix until the Morgans arrive. They sit with their backs against the long wall and the laptop in  front of them, their new documentary playing on Ali’s laptop. They’re only about 15 minutes into it when the door opens and Alex peeks her head inside, as if she’s checking Ashlyn’s handiwork before allowing her parents in. Her eyes dart around the room quickly and when she seems satisfied, she leads her parents inside. 

 

“Mom, Dad, you remember Ash,” Alex says. “And that’s her girlfriend, Ali.” 

 

Alex’s dad nods. “Nice to see you, Ash, and nice to meet you, Ali.”

 

“You too,” Ali and Ashlyn say in unison. 

 

As her parents look around the room, their attention caught by the family photos on the bulletin board, Alex’s eyes land on her bed. As she looks at her now messy bed, Ashlyn shoots Ali a smirk, which is caught by Alex when she turns back around. 

 

Alex narrows her eyes immediately and when Ali and Ashlyn avoid eye contact with her, she rolls her eyes, knowing exactly what they did. 

 

“So how is it living together?” Alex’s mom asks, looking Ashlyn’s direction. 

 

“Oh, it’s great,” Ashlyn says. “You know, Alex is such a quiet roommate that half the time I wouldn’t even know she’s here.” 

 

“Alex is quiet?” Alex’s dad asks. “Must be turning over a new leaf in college.” 

 

“I’ve been trying meditation and yoga,” Alex says shooting Ashlyn an annoyed look. “Really helps center me. So, yeah, that’s my room. Like I said, there’s not much to see. It’s basically the same as the one you moved me into over the summer just a different building.” She corrals her parents out of the room, saying she wants to give them a tour of the campus. Just before she follows them out of the room, she turns back to face Ali and Ashlyn who can’t contain their giggles. “I know what you did and I hate you guys.” 

 

“Hey, you said make it look lived in,” Ashlyn says. “Don’t worry, we’ll wash your sheets.” 

 

Alex rolls her eyes once more and closes the door behind her, leaving Ali and Ashlyn in a fit of laughter.

 

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is set a few years after they graduate college. I tried to write a chapter when Ash gets traded to Orlando but it's not turning out the way I want so here's how that goes: she gets traded after her second season with the Courage, while Ali still has one year left in law school. Ali joins her in Orlando after graduating law school. Maybe I'll be able to finish that chapter eventually but for now I hope that's enough to fill in the gaps.

 

Ali makes no secret when she’s ready for Ashlyn to propose. She’s been out of law school and working for a year and now that they’re settled into life in Orlando, she’s ready to take the next step. Once they reach their seventh anniversary, her hints become more frequent and less subtle and Ashlyn knows that if she doesn’t propose soon, Ali might take matters into her own hands. 

 

The problem isn’t that she doesn’t want to propose—she’s just as ready as Ali is to take the next step—but she has a specific proposal in mind that hinges on the league schedule. Ever since the took photos by Old Well on their graduation day from North Carolina, she’s planned on proposing there. It’s where their relationship began and that spot holds such a special place in both of their hearts that she can’t imagine proposing anywhere else. 

 

She already has a ring and she knows exactly where she’ll propose so all she had to decide is when. It would be much too obvious what she’s up to if she suggested making a trip up to campus for a weekend so she ultimately decides to use her soccer schedule to her favor. They have a lot of friends still in the area so usually whenever Ashlyn plays against the Courage in North Carolina, Ali makes the trip up as well to go to the game and have dinner with their friends after. This year, Ashlyn will suggest a quick visit to campus before they meet their friends for dinner (which will actually be a mini engagement party this year) and propose in the same place she asked Ali to be her girlfriend nearly eight years earlier. 

 

She hopes for an early season visit to the Courage because she’s not sure Ali will wait much longer and when the schedule comes out, she’s pleased to find they’ll make the trip northeast just five weeks into the season. 

 

Now all she has to do is wait and deal with Ali’s ‘hints’. The former is much easier than the latter. 

 

Most times, she loves how persistent Ali is but now, she wishes she’d relax a little and trust that she’s planning something great. 

 

“Ohh, look at this ring,” Ali says one night when they’re in bed. A beautiful engagement ring and wedding band set came up as an advertisement on an article she’s reading and she can’t resist showing her girlfriend. 

 

“Pretty,” Ashlyn says, trying not to show too much emotion as she looks at Ali’s computer screen. 

 

“Maybe it’s a sign you should get it for me.”

 

“Maybe it’s a sign that you look at rings too much and your computer is giving you ads because of it. And it’s a sign you need to update your adblocker.” 

 

Ali rolls her eyes and closes her laptop. “Babe,” she whines. “Don’t you think my ring finger looks a little naked?” She holds her hand out in front of them, imagining what it would be like to have an engagement ring on. 

 

“I happen to love when you’re naked,” Ashlyn smirks. 

 

“Maybe if I don’t have sex with you until I have a ring, you’ll finally propose,” Ali says, crossing her arms over her chest. 

 

“Baby, can you just be patient? It’s gonna happen.” 

 

“Soon?” 

 

“Soon,” Ashlyn says, sealing her promise with a kiss. 

 

“Like, how soon?” 

 

“Jeez, Al,” Ashlyn laughs. “Really soon. I can’t wait to get engaged to you either but we’re both just so busy right now, you know?” she says, hoping to throw Ali off. Ali is very observant so Ashlyn worries she might suspect something and be digging for whatever information she can get. The game in North Carolina is just a week away and everything is set for a beautiful proposal. Their friends all know the deal and they have a private room at a restaurant booked for a small engagement party. Ashlyn even has Kyle flying in from LA to hide and take photos of the moment she proposes. It’s going to be perfect and she can’t wait to see the look on Ali’s face. “It’ll happen soon, baby, I promise. The beginning of the season is a little crazy getting back into practices, games, and recovery but I don’t plan on making you wait too long or you might go out and find a new girlfriend.” 

 

“I just might,” Ali teases. “Maybe my new girlfriend would propose.” 

 

“And maybe my new girlfriend wouldn’t be such a nag,” Ashlyn deadpans. 

 

“You don’t get a new girlfriend. Only me.” 

 

“Guess I just have to propose to the girlfriend I have.” 

 

~

 

Ashlyn prepares for the game against the Courage just like any other. Over the years, she’s developed the ability to compartmentalize when she’s on the field so while she often loses herself to daydreaming about the proposal when she’s not training, it doesn’t cross her mind on the field. 

 

After their last practice at home before the trip to North Carolina, Sydney joins Ashlyn at her locker. Sydney was a senior at UNC when Ashlyn was a freshman and they’ve been friends ever since. Syd has seen Ali and Ashlyn’s relationship develop from the beginning and might be even more excited for Ashlyn to propose than Ali. 

 

“Are you nervous for this weekend?” 

 

Ashlyn shakes her head. “No, not more than any other game.” The words are just out of her mouth when she realizes that Syd was talking about the proposal, not the game against the Courage. “Oh. Um, not really. I know she’s gonna say yes because she keeps begging me to propose so I’m more worried about saying everything I want to say. I want it to be memorable.” 

 

“It’ll be memorable and special no matter what, especially considering how much that place means to you guys. Besides, she’ll be thrilled just to get that rock on her finger.” 

 

“You’re not wrong,” Ashlyn laughs. “I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be but obviously that could change once it’s finally happening. We’re more than ready for this step. Honestly, getting married is kind of a formality at this point. We already have a life together.” 

 

Syd goes back to her own locker to change, leaving Ashlyn alone with her thoughts. Tomorrow, she and her team will fly to North Carolina (Ali too, though her flight isn’t until after she gets off of work) and Ashlyn will propose to the love of her life the day after that. 

 

She gathers everything she’ll need for a quick shower and as she rinses the sweat and dirt away, she loses herself in thinking about the proposal. She hopes that she’s done enough to throw Ali off so she doesn’t expect anything to happen this weekend because she can’t wait to see the look of surprise on her face. She wonders who will cry first and after just a moment of consideration, there’s no doubt in her mind that it’ll be her. 

 

They both have to pack for the weekend that evening and while Ali goes to the bathroom to get their toiletry bags, Ashlyn sneaks the ring box into her carry on. It’s the first thing she’s packed for this trip and by far the most important. 

 

Ali returns from the bathroom, handing over Ashlyn’s toiletry bag and dropping her own into her suitcase. 

 

“Thanks, babe,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

Ali crosses the room to their closet, studying the contents. “What are you wearing Saturday night?” she asks, turning back to look at Ashlyn. 

 

“The place Heather picked is on the dressier side of casual so I was thinking about a suit but no tie.”

 

Ali nods and turns back towards the closet. Ashlyn’s outfit plan in mind, she looks to her dresses and selects a black short sleeve swing dress. As far as swing dresses go, it’s a little nicer with a slightly sheer material covering the lining as opposed to a simple cotton fabric. She selects a long necklace to go with it and, of course, her still ever present coordinate bracelet. The only time she doesn’t have her bracelet on is when she’s in the shower and even then, it feels like part of her arm is missing. 

 

“How about this?” she asks, showing Ashlyn the outfit she picked. 

 

“Mmm, I love that dress on you,” Ashlyn says. The dress is still on the hanger but she knows from Ali wearing it before that it doesn’t quite reach her knees, leaving her legs on display. The lining is an inch or two shorter than the sheer top layer and it’s just enough to tease her all night. 

 

“I know you do,” Ali grins. “And I love how you basically drool looking at my legs when I wear it.” 

 

“Torturous woman,” Ashlyn says as Ali leans in for a kiss. As they kiss, she realizes that in less than 48 hours, they’ll be engaged. The thoughts makes her smile into the kiss until they’re forced to pull apart. 

 

“Smiling because you’re imagining me in the dress?” Ali teases. 

 

“Something like that.” 

 

~

 

In a sea of Carolina blue, red, and gold, Ali is among a handful wearing Pride colors. She wears Ashlyn’s jersey, Harris 24 displayed on her back and the Orlando crest and sponsor on the front. With the light blue jersey, she wears black leggings, purple Nike shoes, and an Orlando baseball style hat. She sits with Heather, Becky, and Crystal, all of whom stayed in the area after graduating. They’re in the Orlando supporter section and all around her, there are people wearing Harris jerseys. The sight makes her smile and when she settles into her seat behind two women wearing Ashlyn’s jersey, she overhears a bit of their conversation. 

 

Both are watching Ashlyn warm up with great interest, snapping photos every so often. 

 

“She’s so hot,” one of the women says. 

 

“I know,” the other agrees. “I hope we can meet her after.” 

 

Ali smirks as she half listens to their conversation. Both women seem to have massive crushes on her girlfriend and while she might (would) be jealous if they were flirting with Ashlyn in person, she smiles knowing they don’t have a chance in hell. 

 

Ever since she began playing professionally, Ashlyn has garnered more and more of attention, both professional and personal, and it’s not uncommon for Ali to overhear conversations like this. It’s something they’ve both gotten used to and while Ashlyn hardly pays any attention to fans like these, Ali loves knowing that out of all the people who want her girlfriend, Ashlyn only wants her. It’s a great feeling. 

 

The game, like all others in the league, is competitive and hard fought. In the end, the Courage win 2-1 and although it’s early in the season and there’s still time to solidify their place at the top of the table, Ali knows that Ashlyn and the rest of the Pride are disappointed with the loss. They have big aspirations as a club and anything but a win is a disappointment. 

 

Nevertheless, Ashlyn stays after the game to sign a little, drifting towards a group of young girls with signs bearing her name and number. Although she’s sad about the loss, thoughts of the proposal and the kids in front of her brighten her mood considerably. She smiles as she takes pictures with the young fans and signs their shirts, jerseys, and posters for them, even giving away her gloves to a young goalkeeper, whose sign declares that her birthday wish is to get Ashlyn’s gloves. 

 

“Here you go, sweetie,” she says, signing the gloves as she hands them over. “Happy birthday.”

 

The girl, no more than ten, looks shocked for a moment and doesn’t say a word. When her friends realize that she’s gone silent, they give her a little nudge, bringing her back to earth. “Th-thank you. Will you take a selfie with me?” 

 

“Sure,” Ashlyn smiles. She poses for a picture with the girl, her hand on her shoulder as the girl’s mom smiles even wider than her daughter behind the camera. Just before Ashlyn moves down the line, the mom mouths a thank you, and Ashlyn smiles as she nods in her direction. 

 

She doesn’t sign nearly as long as she normally would because she has big, important plans for the night but she does sign for about fifteen minutes before heading back to the locker room. 

 

The team is still shaking off the loss, chatting excitedly about the rest of the night when Ashlyn enters. 

 

“Ali is going to be so excited,” Alanna comments. 

 

“She better be,” Syd laughs. “Ash has put a lot of work into this.”

 

Ashlyn goes through her post-game routine quickly and rides the team bus back to the hotel. When she arrives, the first thing she does is take her stuff out of the room she previously shared with Steph and into Ali’s room two floors below. 

 

“Hi, babe,” Ali greets when Ashlyn arrives. “I’m almost done with the bathroom. Do you need to get in there to get ready?” 

 

“Uh, I think I can manage out here.” 

 

Ashlyn puts on a little makeup and gets dressed in her navy suit and light blue dress shirt, which she leaves open at the top and rolls to the elbows. With Ali still in the bathroom, she slips the ring box into the inside pocket of her jacket and checks herself out in the mirror to make sure it’s not too visible in the fitted suit. Even knowing it’s there, she can’t see it but she knows that she’ll have to stop Ali if she tries to fix her lapels, which always leads to Ali sliding her hands down her chest to her waist. If Ali does this, there’s no doubt in Ashlyn’s mind that she’ll feel the box. To prevent this, she ensures that her lapels are perfect before Ali comes out of the bathroom. 

 

“You look great,” Ali says, playfully grabbing at Ashlyn’s ass. 

 

Just to throw Ali off even more, Ashlyn decides in that moment to act like she’s more upset about the loss than she actually is. “Thanks,” she says, not even cracking a smile. “I can’t believe we lost today.” 

 

“I know,” Ali says. “But it's still early in the season, right? There’s so much time.” 

 

Ashlyn shrugs. “I know but I’m just pissed. We need these results and we haven’t been getting them. I don’t know, we just need to step up more than we are.” She pauses and grabs her phone and wallet off of the dresser. “Hey, since we’re ready a little early, do you want to go for a walk on campus? Might help clear my head and the restaurant is just off campus.” When she and Heather planned tonight, the location of the restaurant was a key component. Since the entire night hinges on this walk around campus, the restaurant needed to be in Chapel Hill and not in Cary, where the Courage stadium is.

 

“Sure,” Ali says. “It’s been too long since we’ve visited.” 

 

They order a car to take them to Chapel Hill and get dropped off within a five minute walk of the heart of campus. “Which way should we go?” Ashlyn asks, hoping against all hope that Ali will play along and say towards Old Well rather than the dorms or anywhere else. It’s a pretty safe bet and when Ali starts walking towards the well, tugging Ashlyn along, Ashlyn smiles. 

 

“It’s a beautiful night,” Ali comments, looking at their surroundings. It’s officially summer break so there aren’t too many people around and everything feels peaceful on this late spring night. 

 

“It is,” Ashlyn agrees. “Not as beautiful as you, though.” 

 

“Are you ever going to stop being so cheesy?” Ali teases. 

 

“Nope, never.” 

 

Ashlyn doesn’t trust herself to say much more without giving herself away so she’s quiet as they continue to walk. When they arrive at Old Well, she spots where she told Kyle to hide and ensures that Ali never has a clear view of her brother hiding behind the tree. 

 

“Nothing beats campus in the spring,” Ali comments. 

 

“Can you believe it’s been seven and a half years since our first walk here?” Ashlyn asks. She shifts a little to get herself and Ali at the angle and and Kyle planned out for the proposal. 

 

“No, I can’t. You were so cute and nervous.”

 

“Hey, that was a big moment for me,” Ashlyn says. “I asked the prettiest girl to be my girlfriend that night of course I was nervous.” That night, she wasn’t sure how Ali would respond to her question but now seven and a half years later, there’s no doubt in her mind what Ali will say when she asks her to be her wife. 

 

“Am I still the prettiest?” 

 

Ashlyn pretends to think for a moment, eliciting a soft laugh from Ali. “Now I’d say most beautiful.”

 

“I’ll take it,” Ali grins. 

 

“Oh, I wasn’t done,” Ashlyn says. “Most beautiful, funniest, smartest, and the best person I know. I had no idea what I was getting into back then and although I had high hopes for our relationship, I didn’t know that we’d be standing here together over seven years later. You’re my best friend, Al, and I can’t believe how lucky I am.” 

 

Ali is quiet as Ashlyn talks, more and more aware of what’s happening with each passing second. She hangs on Ashlyn’s every word, her pulse quickening as she waits for the words she’s longed to hear. 

 

“Even at 19, I knew I’d done something right to get to go on a single date with you and I told myself that I’d do my best to make you happier than you ever thought possible because that’s how you made—make—me feel. No one makes me feel the way you do and no one challenges me to be my best self like you do. I love you more than anything.” She reaches into her jacket pocket, pulling out the ring box and popping it open as she drops to one knee. “Will you marry me?” Ashlyn asks, voice cracking with emotion. 

 

Ali’s hand flies to her mouth when she sees the ring, a rose gold vintage inspired piece with a large round diamond in the center and two marquise cut smaller stones on set in a sideways v on either side, followed on both sides by an even smaller round diamond.

 

“Yes, of course,” Ali breathes. 

 

Ashlyn’s hands shake as she takes the ring out of the box, continuing to shake she she slides the ring onto Ali’s finger. When it’s finally in place, Ali pulls Ashlyn up off of her knee and loops her arms around her neck for a deep, passionate kiss. When they part, Ali playfully swats Ashlyn’s arm. 

 

“What was that for?” 

 

“I thought you were still gonna make me wait,” she says. “You made it seem like this was still a few months away.” 

 

“All part of the plan, babe. Do you like your ring?” She asks, taking Ali’s left hand so they can both admire the new jewelry. 

 

“I love it,” Ali grins. “Not as much as I love you, though.” 

 

“And I’m the cheesy one.” 

 

“I get a pass to be cheesy because you just proposed to me. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

 

“You make all the rules.” 

 

“You love it,” Ali says, pulling Ashlyn in for another kiss. “We’re engaged.” 

 

“You’re gonna be my wife.” 

 

“Hmm, no, you’re gonna be my wife,” Ali counters. 

 

“Whatever you say, babe,” Ashlyn laughs. She holds Ali in her arms as they enjoy their moment together. After taking a few minutes to let this all sink in, she finally signals to Kyle to come out from behind the tree and join them. 

 

“Hey, you guys make a cute couple,” Kyle says, changing his voice a little as he sneaks up on Ali. 

 

Ali turns around, bouncing a little on her toes at the sight of her brother. “I’m engaged,” she exclaims, stopping herself from leaping into his arms when she spots the camera around his neck. 

 

“I know, I saw the whole thing,” Kyle laughs. “I got some really cute shots. Good job on the angles, Ash.” He grabs hold of his camera and opens the previews, scrolling back until he gets to the actual proposal. With Ashlyn down on one knee, Ali’s hand covers her mouth, the love and excitement evident on both of their faces. 

 

“We need that framed,” Ali says. 

 

“I got you,” Kyle says. 

 

“I can’t believe you were in on this and you didn’t tell me. When did you learn to keep secrets?” 

 

“Hey, I can keep a secret when it’s as cool and important as this. Though it was kind of difficult to keep it quiet every time you bitched about how long she was taking.” 

 

“I wasn’t bitching, I was just—”

 

“You were bitching,” Kyle teases. 

 

“Worth the wait?” Ashlyn asks, sliding an arm around her fianceé’s waist. 

 

“Of course,” Ali grins. “But now I kind of don’t want to go to dinner so we could just go celebrate in our room. Or, hey, you think we could get into the old dorms? It’s closer.” 

 

“God,” Ashlyn laughs as Kyle rolls his eyes. “Honestly, I have no idea how we even had sex in those tiny loft beds.”

 

“Lots of determination. Being 18 and horny helped too.” 

 

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” Kyle says. “For real though, order the car so we can go eat.” 

 

All of their friends fawn over Ali’s ring and the proposal story, even though they already knew exactly how Ashlyn was going to do it. Many of Ashlyn’s former teammates and friends are not able to attend because they’re with their own teams but Kelley was able to make the trip down after she and Sky Blue played in DC the previous night. Ashlyn wasn’t expecting her and in a night where she planned everything down to the minute, it’s nice to have a little surprise for herself. 

 

“I can’t believe you made it,” she says, hugging her friend. 

 

“I had to,” Kelley says. “If it was at all possible to make it work, I was gonna be here. Congrats, bud, I’m so happy for you two.”

 

They celebrate with their friends over dinner and when they’re done eating, they go to the bar next door for drinks. By the time they finally make it back to their room, both Ali and Ashlyn are more than tipsy, giggling as they help each other out of their clothes for a private celebration. 

 

Ali models just her ring for Ashlyn, who nearly blacks out by the time Ali finally lets her come. 

 

When they’re finally sated and exhausted, they fall asleep tangled in each other’s arms.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, I'd love to know what you think. Hope you're following along as they grow together and build their family :)


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ali and ashlyn face some hurdles as they start their family

 

 

Soon after the wedding, they start the process of buying their first home. Until this point, they’ve always lived in apartments and while they love their current place, neither wants to wait too long to have a baby and they definitely don’t want to move for a long while after they start their family. 

 

Knowing that they’ll be starting a family soon, their priorities in finding a new place are different than they’ve ever been. With each house they look at, they look for a yard big enough for their kids to play, good school systems (though they still might opt for private school), and enough bedrooms to grow. 

 

Ultimately, they find a three bedroom house (they both agreed that while they definitely want more than two kids, a four bedroom place seems unnecessary at this point in time) with a spacious backyard and lots of living space. With just two weeks left in the offseason, they move into their new home and although they’re not quite ready for kids after being married all of three months, they get a dog within a week of moving in. 

 

Loki is a six week old fawn colored frenchie. He’s very affectionate and when Ashlyn leaves for away games, he hardly leaves Ali’s side, keeping her company at home. A tiny ball of energy, he keeps them on their toes and for a while, they’re content with their lives as dog moms. After facing one too many social media posts of her friends’ kids, however, Ali decides it’s time to start their family as well. 

 

“I want a baby,” she says one night over dinner. She planned on bringing it up in a casual way, maybe segueing into it naturally but she’s a little nervous and couldn’t help but blurt it out. “I’m ready. Are you ready?” 

 

“Really?” Ashlyn asks, eyes lighting up as she looks at her wife of over a year. 

 

Ali nods, biting her bottom lip. It’s been weighing on her mind a lot and recently, it’s seemed as if she can’t get away from babies. Everywhere she looks in the store, she sees moms with kids and when she’s online, almost all of the advertisements are baby themed. She’s always wanted to be a mom and she finally feels ready to take that step. She has a great partner in Ashlyn, they have a house, and a loving pup who is sure to be best friends with their baby. 

 

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Ashlyn says. “Let’s do it.” 

 

“How?” Ali asks. They’ve both done a little research before on the methods that would be available when the time comes so really, the only thing left to do is discuss how they’ll go about building their family. 

 

“Well, didn’t we both like the idea of reciprocal IVF? That sounded cute.” 

 

“I do love that idea but it’s really expensive,” Ali says. “I always thought, I don’t know, that we could do that later. Like, save money and do it like that for our second or third baby. I definitely do want to carry a baby with your DNA but we just got married and bought a house so maybe for right now, that’s not the way to go.” 

 

“Fine with me,” Ashlyn shrugs. “If that’s what you feel is right.” 

 

“I think it’s right. I can’t explain it but I think it’s right.” 

 

~

 

They want the baby to be born the following off season but with enough time left for Ashlyn to settle into being a mom before the league starts up again. With this plan in mind, they do their first round of treatment in mid February, just after Valentine’s Day. 

 

Two weeks later, they get a late present when they learn that Ali is pregnant. 

 

“Oh my god,” Ali breathes. “I know I felt good about this but I didn’t expect it to work on the first try.” 

 

“Believe it, baby,” Ashlyn grins. She takes Ali into her arms, lifting her off the ground and spinning around. When she puts Ali down, she looks into her eyes, tears already forming. “We’re gonna be moms. Holy shit we’re gonna be moms.” Her hand sneaks under Ali’s shirt and she brushes her thumb over Ali’s stomach. “My kid’s in there. Wild.” 

 

“Hope you’re ready for me to get super fat and cranky,” Ali says, tears in her own eyes as well. 

 

“Can’t wait.” 

 

~

 

The pregnancy symptoms hit Ali like a train. Two days after the positive test, the nausea kicks in and doesn’t really stop. It’s nearly debilitating and although she’s constantly sick and exhausted, she still drags herself to work every day. It’s all part of being pregnant and as long as the baby is growing the way it should, she doesn’t mind the nausea. 

 

At their eight week ultrasound (really, it’s nine weeks because their schedules didn’t work out during the previous week), the ultrasound tech, Naomi, looks at the screen with great interest. “You want the good news or the neutral news first?”

 

“Uh, good,” Ali says. 

 

“Well, it seems as if you’re expecting twins.” Naomi says. She points to the screen where there are two sacs visible on screen. “Here’s baby A and this one hiding down here is baby B and this brings me to the other news because if you look right here, we can see that they share a placenta.” 

 

“Is that bad?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“In most cases, no. Mostly it just means we know they’re identical.” 

 

“So you’re saying there are two babies?” Ali asks. She’s so stunned that she doesn’t know what to think. 

 

“Two babies, yes,” Naomi laughs. She loves giving people news that they’re expecting twins because everyone has a different reaction. “I’ll give you two a moment.”

 

Naomi steps out of the room, leaving Ali and Ashlyn alone in the examination room. 

 

“Oh my god, twins,” Ashlyn exclaims. “Can you believe it?” She’s nearly bouncing up and down she’s so excited about this news. Ali, meanwhile, still has no idea what to think or feel. “Al, you okay?” 

 

“Two babies at one time,” she says quietly as she looks where the ultrasound is frozen on the screen. “How are we supposed to handle two babies at once?” 

 

“We have about seven months to figure it out. Seriously, how cool? Two for the price of one.”

 

“Yeah, that’s great if we’re talking purses, Ash, but these are babies we’re talking about. What if we screw up? It’s so much more to handle.” 

 

“Babe,” Ashlyn begins, taking Ali’s hand and gently rubbing her thumb over Ali’s skin, “I know this is overwhelming but we’ve always wanted a big family, right? Well, this is a great start.”

 

Ali shakes her head, tears forming in her eyes as she imagines potentially screwing up not only one but two babies. “We can’t do this.” 

 

“Of course we can, baby. They’re gonna be fine. Sure, it’s more to handle and we’ll screw up at times—all parents do—but guess what? These kids are so lucky. They have two moms who love them more than anything and that’s what matters. And just think about how perfect it is: two moms and two babies.” 

 

“I guess I won’t have to worry about you being a baby hog,” Ali says. She looks back at the ultrasound screen, feeling the love in her heart doubling. She already loved what she thought was one baby more than she ever thought possible and now it feels like her heart is going to burst with love and excitement. “We’ll buy them matching outfits.” 

 

“So many matching outfits.” 

 

“I’m never gonna get back in shape after this.” 

 

Ashlyn playfully rolls her eyes, grip tightening on her wife’s hand. “Maybe, maybe not. Honestly, I don’t care. You’re giving me two babies and that’s more beautiful than anything in the world.” 

 

~

 

The early stages of Ali’s pregnancy progress normally. Ashlyn dotes on her more than she ever has and is in constant awe of what her wife’s body is doing. Their friends and family are excited and they even both post that they’re expecting twins on social media, much to the delight of Ashlyn’s fans. They learn that the babies are boys at the 20 week appointment and they joke that they have 20 weeks left to brace themselves for the chaos that will be their lives once the babies arrive.

 

In this span, their biggest crisis is when Ali’s bracelet gets caught on something and the band rips. She hasn’t taken the bracelet off in nearly nine years and it was only a matter of time before it broke. When Ashlyn returns home from practice that afternoon, she walks in to find Ali sobbing on the couch. 

 

“Baby what’s wrong?” she asks, rushing to Ali’s side. 

 

“It broke,” Ali sobs. 

 

For a moment, Ashlyn panics that maybe Ali is referring to her water, a horrifying prospect considering she’s only 23 weeks, but then she sees the bracelet in Ali’s hands instead of on her wrist. “Your bracelet? Honey, we can get it fixed.” 

 

“We can?” Ali asks, looking up at Ashlyn with tears in her eyes. Ashlyn uses her thumbs to gently wipe Ali’s tears away. 

 

“Of course. It just needs a new strap, right? We can probably get it fixed today.” She continues to dry Ali’s tears and just as soon as everything started, it stops. They go to the jewler together and show them the bracelet, asking if they have a similar strap they can use. It takes no time at all and within ten minutes, Ali’s bracelet is back on her wrist where it belongs. 

 

“Sorry I’m such a crazy person,” Ali says as they leave the store. “I don’t know why I didn’t realize that we could fix it. I have baby brain.” 

 

“Hey, if this is the worst we have to deal with, we’re pretty lucky.” 

 

She spoke too soon. 

 

~

 

Ali’s energy returns a little in the second trimester and when they go to the 25 week appointment, she’s giddy with excitement at the prospect of seeing their boys again. 

 

Something seems off from the moment Doctor Guerrero starts the ultrasound. She’s quieter than normal and while she usually points out each baby and announces their measurements, she is mostly silent and her expression is unreadable. As she moves the wand around on Ali’s belly, her expression becomes more and more concerning. 

 

“Is something wrong?” Ashlyn asks. She holds Ali’s hand, bracing herself for what the doctor is about to say. Ali shoots her a look, worry evident on her face as well. For once, Ali is stunned into silence.

 

“Well, with twins who share a placenta like yours, we always watch to see if they’re developing twin to twin transfusion syndrome. Basically, one twin doesn’t have enough blood flow or amniotic fluid and the other has too much. It’s fairly common and occurs in about 15% of identical twin pregnancies. Now, I want to preface this by saying that at least at the moment, your case isn’t too extreme which will be key in the long term health of your babies. You’re currently at stage one but I’d say you’re borderline stage two out of five.” 

 

“What does this mean? Are they going to be okay?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“I can’t promise that because there are considerable risks to both babies but, again, it’s key that we caught this before your case got too extreme. The risks for each baby are different: the donor twin is at risk for developing anemia and the recipient twin is at risk for respiratory, heart, and brain defects. It can be fatal to one or both babies.”

 

“Fatal?” Ashlyn chokes out. She holds Ali’s hand tighter than she ever has before, her heart pounding as she tries to take this information in. She feels like she’s going to crumble but when she looks down at her wife she sees only stoicism. It’s as if a switch has been flipped. No longer is Ali quiet and unable to speak. Ashlyn can see the protectiveness in her eyes in almost a primal way. Her motherly instincts are kicking in and she’s going to fight for their boys. 

 

“What do we have to do?” Ali asks. She feels her heart pounding in her chest at the knowledge they can lose one or both of their babies but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t fight to get them through this. She knows she’ll get all her emotions out later but for now, she owes it to her babies to keep herself in check so they can go over their options. 

 

“I’ll get you in contact with a specialist to go over your options fully. You have quite a few options, all with varying degrees of success and risk. I can’t say for certain because I’m not a specialist but I would put you at stage one right now. In some cases, it stays that way and simply requires frequent monitoring. In others, it progresses and there are actions you can take. Since you appear to be borderline stage two, it’s safe to assume that it is progressing, unfortunately, but we caught it early enough that your babies might be perfectly fine after intervention.” 

 

Doctor Guerrero gives them a referral for a specialist and before they even leave the office, they call to schedule an appointment for later that week. Now that they’ve learned all they can learn from their usual doctor, Ashlyn is the one who is too stunned to speak and she stares off into space as Ali makes the appointment. 

 

From everything Doctor Guerrero told them, Doctor Thompson is well versed in the condition and comes highly recommended. 

 

They leave the office with new sonogram photos, their hearts feeling much heavier than when they arrived for their appointment. While they would usually excitedly study the new photos of the babies on their way home, today there is only silence as Ali clutches the photos in the passenger seat. She runs her pointer finger over their babies’ profiles, tracing their faces in an effort to calm herself down.

 

As soon as they arrive back home, Ali finally lets herself break down. She lies down on their bed, unable to control her tears as her emotions catch up to her. Even the simplest of dreams to hold their babies in their arms is in jeopardy and although the doctor assured her that it’s nothing she did or didn’t do, she can’t help but feel like it’s her fault. 

 

Ashlyn watches helplessly for a few minutes before Ali finally takes a deep breath and looks up at her. 

 

“I’m failing them,” Ali says through her tears. “I have one job and I’m failing them.” 

 

“You are not failing them,” Ashlyn assures as she lies next to Ali. She rubs Ali’s back, trying to soothe her wife. “You heard Doctor Guerrero, there was nothing we could have done to cause or prevent this; it just happens.” Ali continues to sob and although Ashlyn is having trouble keeping herself together, she knows she needs to comfort her wife. Her strong, beautiful wife who has so joyfully taken on every change pregnancy has brought. Ali is giving Ashlyn two of the most precious gifts and although Ashlyn wants to breakdown herself, she knows she has to be strong for her wife. Ali was so strong in the doctor’s office as they learned about the condition and their options and now it’s Ashlyn’s turn. “Al, will you look at me, please?” 

 

Ali dries her tears as best as she can and meets Ashlyn’s eyes. 

 

“I know it’s scary but we will do everything in our power to make sure they end up safely in our arms. Both of them. We will get to hold these babies. No matter how early they come or how long they have to stay in the hospital once they’re born, we will get to hold them in our arms and we will take them home with us. Their grandparents will dote on them and we’ll learn all the little things that will help us tell them apart even if no one else can. We are so, so lucky that we caught this early enough.” 

 

“What if Doctor Thompson says I have to deliver?” Ali asks. “I’m only 25 weeks, they’re not ready yet. Or what if—” she cuts herself off, not able to voice her biggest fear. Statistics are slightly on their side but she can’t bring herself to voice the fear that they will lose their babies. She worries that even if they lose one baby, she will never be able to look at the surviving twin the same knowing that their family is incomplete, knowing that there should be an identical counterpart. 

 

“We’re going to do everything the doctors tell us, okay? You’re already the best mom in the entire world and I know that you will fight for these babies. We won’t lose them.”

 

“I love you,” Ali says.

 

“I love you too,” Ashlyn says. She moves her hand from Ali’s back to her belly just as both of the babies start kicking. It’s such a simple thing but Ashlyn can see the calming effect it has on her wife. The physical reminder that their babies are healthy and still (mostly) safe does wonders for both of their moods. “See? They’re telling you that they’re going to be okay. And just think of it this way, when they’re older and fighting over toys we’ll be able to use this against them. We’ll be able to tell them that if they shared a placenta they can share their damn toys.”

 

Ali laughs so hard that a different kind of tears begin to stream from her eyes and Ashlyn smiles, knowing she’s gotten through to her wife. 

 

Ashlyn scoots down the bed, lifting Ali’s shirt so she can get to her belly. She puts a hand over where each twin is and puts her mouth close to Ali’s skin as she speaks. “Hey, sweet peas,” she grins. “Now, I know our nightly talks usually involve me telling stories about your beautiful mommy but tonight, I had something else to talk to you about. Little guy over here,” she says, rubbing the spot on Ali’s belly where baby B is, “it’s so nice of you to share with your brother but, honestly, this is the one time it’s okay to be a little selfish. We need you both to get big and strong so we can hold you in our arms, okay?” 

 

Ali smiles as she listens to her wife talk to their babies. It’s a nightly ritual at this point and even when Ashlyn is at away games, she always has Ali put the phone to her belly so she can talk to their boys. Ali reaches a hand down, gently running it through Ashlyn’s hair.

 

The babies kick wherever Ashlyn presses her hands so Ashlyn moves them all around Ali’s belly, laughing when she feels a baby kick against her palm. It makes Ali laugh too and although they have a stressful few months ahead of them, during which many more tears will be shed, she’s hopeful that they’ll all make it through this ordeal. 

 

~

 

The days in between appointments pass far too slowly for either woman’s liking. With so much on their minds, their house is a little quieter and more subdued over the intervening days. The day before the appointment with Doctor Thompson, Ali finally feels ready to research the condition online to get a better idea of what they’re dealing with. Heart beating in her chest, she does a web search for the condition. Some of what she finds is comforting, but most of it is not. 

 

“Whatcha doing?” Ashlyn asks when she gets home from practice. Even after so long together, her heart still flutters at the sight of Ali. Makeup free and wearing sweats and her glasses, she’s still the most beautiful woman Ashlyn has ever seen. 

 

“Looking up TTTS,” Ali says. 

 

“Babe,” Ashlyn groans as she kicks off her shoes and joins Ali on the couch. “We agreed we weren’t going to look because it’ll just freak us out more. Doctor Thompson will tell us everything we need to know.” 

 

“I know, I know, but I couldn’t help it. You had to go to practice and I was left alone with my thoughts and I just had to know more.” 

 

Ashlyn can’t argue with this reasoning. With as much stress as she’s feeling about this whole ordeal, she knows Ali is feeling it ten fold. Instead of debating about whether or not it’s wise to turn to the internet, she settles next to her wife and presses a kiss to her temple. “So what have you learned?” 

 

“Well, I learned more about each stage, particularly the first two because that’s where we are.” 

 

“And?” 

 

“And I’m still terrified,” Ali admits. “Without treatment, about 70% of babies die.” 

 

“Okay but we won’t be in that category because we’re going to work out a plan with Doctor Thompson.” 

 

“I know but it’s not comforting to see that this can be so… I can’t even say it,” Ali says as tears start to form in her eyes. 

 

Ashlyn wraps her arm around Ali’s shoulder, pulling her close. “It’s okay, baby, we’re going to do everything we possibly can.” She doesn’t dare say that this is why they agreed to avoid internet searches for the time being, instead offering comforting, encouraging words. “These babies are so strong just like their Mommy. Beautiful, too. I know I’m going to melt the first time I see them smile.”

 

“Remember how freaked out I was when we found out we’re having twins?” Ali asks, looking up at her wife. “It took me a minute to realize just how lucky we are. And now I feel guilty like maybe if I had been as excited as you from the start then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

 

“Babe, you can’t do that to yourself. It’s not your fault and it’s normal to be a little freaked out when you learn you’re having twins. We’ll do whatever we need to do for these babies. Doctor Guerrero was hopeful that they’ll be okay and we should be too. They’re going to be trouble and there will be times when they drive us crazy but just think of all the love we’ll get to experience. Plus, our arms are going to get jacked carrying two babies around.” 

 

“Babe, if your arms get any more toned, you would only be able to wear tanks,” Ali teases. 

 

“As if you’d complain about that,” Ashlyn laughs. “You love my arms.” 

 

“Will you flex right now? It might make me feel better.” 

 

Ashlyn laughs as she moves back from Ali a little and rolls her t-shirt sleeves up to show off her biceps. Ali hums appreciatively, licking her lips. “Like I’m a piece of meat,” Ashlyn says, rolling her eyes.

 

“You love it,” Ali says, pulling Ashlyn in for a kiss. “And now I’m imagining our babies in your arms which is sexy in a completely different way.” 

 

“You know I’m going to be obsessed with them. I already am. And I’ll never be able to repay you for doing this.”

 

“Babe, I’ve told you a hundred times this is not a debt you have to repay. These are our babies and even though we didn’t create them together, they’re still a symbol of our love. I mean, you can still feel free to shower me with love and maybe even gifts because it is a lot of work making twins but it’s not a debt.” 

 

“I love you,” Ashlyn says. “And I love you and you,” she adds, palming Ali’s belly. “We’re going to figure this out tomorrow, sweeties. We’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re okay.” 

 

~

  
  


Within minutes of arriving at Doctor Thompson’s office, it’s clear they’re in the right place. To start, they learn that the experienced doctor has dealt with ten previous cases of TTTS and of the twenty babies affected in those cases, she was able to save all but three. She’s never lost a baby in a case they’ve discovered as early as they discovered Ali’s. 

 

They go through a thorough examination and when they’re done, Doctor Thompson sits back down with the nervous parents to be in her office. 

 

“As Doctor Guerrero told me, you are borderline stage two but based on the comparison between the measurements and photos she sent over and the ones from today, I’d say you’ll be at stage two soon. I cannot express to you enough how important it is that we caught this early—it significantly raises the babies’ chances of survival and lowers the possibility of future complications. In most cases, the recipient twin is the most likely to show signs of heart failure because of the overload of fluids. One of the checks I just performed was a fetal echocardiogram and as of right now, your recipient baby’s heart is still functioning normally which is a great sign. Basically, the result means that it has not yet gotten so extreme that your baby is at immediate  risk for heart failure.” 

 

“Where do we go from here?” Ali questions, only slightly encouraged by Doctor Thompson’s words.

 

“Since your case is still in the early stages, you have a few different options. We can and will continue to monitor the babies’ development. We do not have to act immediately if you don’t want. If you do want to act, there are two procedures I would recommend. The first is amnioreduction for the recipient baby which will remove excess amniotic fluid from baby A’s, who is your recipient baby, sac. If necessary, this can be done multiple times throughout your pregnancy. If that doesn’t work or if you prefer, we can do laser surgery to sever the abnormal connected blood vessels. This would essentially create two placentas instead of one giving nutrients unequally. The final option is delivery which at your gestation is our very last resort.”

 

“Which option has the best survival rates?” Ali asks. They did a little more research last night before coming in and she still can’t believe that they’re discussing things like survival rates as opposed to what color they should paint the nursery. This is their reality, though, and she’ll do whatever it takes to save their babies.

 

“Laser surgery generally has higher rates of survival for both babies but it’s often done on more severe cases. If you want, we could start with amnioreduction and if the condition worsens again, we could consider laser surgery. That’s generally what I recommend at your stage.” 

 

“Do people often need laser surgery anyway?” 

 

“Sometimes, yes. But sometimes it’s enough to repeat the amnioreduction. It’s different in each case.”

 

Ali shares a look with Ashlyn, trying to assess where she is on this whole thing. 

 

“Do we want to risk it not working and then needing to do the laser anyway?” Ashlyn questions. She knows her wife and she knows that if they try amnioreduction and it doesn’t work, Ali will be hard on herself for putting the babies at risk once again. It might be better to go for the more invasive but more promising option right from the start.

 

“How soon could I get in for surgery?” Ali questions.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to break this one down into two chapters. I'll get the second part up later this week


	44. Chapter 44

 

Ten days after the initial diagnosis, Ali undergoes fetoscopic laser ablation. Her parents are both in town to help her and Ashlyn and while Ali is back in surgery, her parents wait with Ashlyn in the waiting room.

 

In the end, there was no doubt in their mind that this was the right course of action. When they had their consult right before the surgery, they learned that the babies’ condition worsened and they know they made the right choice. It’s their best option not only for the babies’ survival but to reduce the risk of developmental or physical disabilities. At the very least, the procedure will buy them more time and the closer they can get to Ali’s due date, the better off the babies will be.

 

“So how are you doing?” Deb asks as they get settled in the waiting room. “We’ve obviously talked to Alex about all of this but how are you doing?”

 

“Uh, it’s hard,” Ashlyn admits. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I mean, you know some of the stuff I went through as a kid but this is on a whole other level. They’re my babies and there’s nothing I can do to protect them. And on top of that, Ali has been so hard on herself and I wish I could take her worries away.”

 

Even doctor’s appointments, which used to be so exciting for the couple, now bring dread and anxiety. While they used to wait excitedly to hear about their babies’ developments, now it feels like they can hardly breathe until they hear their heartbeats. Even then, they have to brace themselves for bad news that the conditioned worsened and put the boys at even more risk.

 

“Oh, we know. Ken and I had that exact conversation last night. You’ll never stop wishing you could take your kids’ pain away, even when they’re grown up and having babies of their own. So she’s been harder on herself than she admitted to us, huh?”

 

Ashlyn nods. “She’s hardly slept since we got the diagnosis early last week. She definitely hasn’t been herself. I wish I could make it easier on her.”

 

Deb takes Ashlyn’s hand in her own, giving a gentle squeeze. “Trust me, you’ve done more than you know. When we spoke, she said she doesn’t know how she would do this without you. She said you’ve been so hopeful but I’m not surprised to hear that you’ve had a hard time as well.”

 

“Well that’s the thing,” Ashlyn says. “I know that if they’re anything like Ali, they’re tough as nails so I am hopeful. We have great doctors and I know that this procedure was the right decision. I’m trying to focus on the good things because I am still so excited.” Even through the simple act of talking about this with someone other than Ali makes Ashlyn feel like some of the weight has been lifted from her shoulders. It’s still not easy but they have an excellent support system behind them.

 

“Have you picked their names yet?” Deb questions.

 

“We have a few ideas,” Ashlyn says coyly. “But Ali will kill me if I told you. Nothing is official yet because we want to see them first. This whole ordeal kind of forced us to discuss names in case she delivers early. It’s actually pretty unlikely that she’ll carry to term now. The first goal is 28 weeks and each week after that is a bonus.”

 

The nearly two hour procedure feels like an eternity out in the waiting room and when Doctor Thompson comes out to tell them how it went, Ashlyn jumps to her feet with Deb and Ken following behind her.

 

“No unexpected complications,” Doctor Thompson says, much to everyone’s relief. “She’s still waking up and should be more alert soon. Babies’ heart rates are good and we’ll continue monitoring them for any signs of distress.”

 

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” Ashlyn asks, nervously fiddling with her wedding ring. “Please tell me they’ll be okay.”

 

“Nothing is guaranteed but I can assure you that this gives them the best possible chances. We’ll monitor them until Ali goes home in a day or two and then continue monitoring them once a week until she delivers. We should start to see the donor twin start to catch up with the recipient which would be a sign that the procedure was successful. Any other questions?”

 

“Can I see her?”  

 

Since Ali is just coming out of surgery, Doctor Thompson only allows Ashlyn to see her for the moment. Ashlyn says goodbye to Deb and Ken, promising she’ll give Ali a hug and kiss from them. Doctor Thompson leads Ashlyn to Ali’s room and steps aside to give them a moment of privacy.

 

“You awake?” Ashlyn asks as she comes into the room.

 

“Yeah,” Ali says, voice raspier than normal. “Water, please.”

 

Ashlyn moves to the tray next to Ali’s bed and grabs the styrofoam cup with a straw. She holds the straw to Ali’s lips, allowing her to take a long, slow sip. “Better?”

 

“Much. Babies are okay.”

 

“I know, Doctor Thompson told me,” Ashlyn says. She gently lowers herself down onto Ali’s bed and takes her hand. “They’re tough little ones.”

 

“Tough and sweet. No toxic masculinity in our house, right?”

 

When they first found out they were having boys, they had a long discussion about how they’d raise them. They’ve noticed that girls are often told they can be whatever they want but boys are still put into boxes of being strong and masculine. They don’t want that for their boys and they’ll raise them to know that it’s safe and healthy to show their emotions.

 

“Right,” Ashlyn grins. “How do you feel?”

 

“Uh, my belly is still a little numb where they went in and I know it’ll burt soon but it’s a small price to pay for our babies, right?”

 

Not for the first time, Ashlyn sits there in awe of her wife. Not only has she had to deal with nausea, hormones, and a rapidly changing body, now she’s had to undergo surgery to secure the health of their babies and she still only thinks of them. She’s the strongest person Ashlyn has ever known and she knows that if their roles were reversed, she’d have a much harder time handling everything. “You’re incredible,” she says. “I don’t know how you do it.”

 

Ali shrugs. “I’m a mom. I’d give up my life to save theirs and I know you’d do the same.”

 

“I would but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t complain about everything more than you do.”

 

“I think you underestimate yourself,” Ali says, bringing a hand to cup Ashlyn’s cheek. “I never thought I’d be okay with constant nausea but when it started, all I could think about was our babies. Just like now, all I’m worried about is their health. It’s why we agreed on the more invasive but more promising treatment.”

 

“Now we just have to hope it worked.”

 

~

 

Ali stays two nights in the hospital which means that Ashlyn stays two nights in the hospital as well. Neither baby shows signs of distress over those two days. In fact, their condition improves, a sign that the surgery was a success. Slowly but surely, baby B starts catching up with his brother as his growth rate increases and baby A’s slows.

 

They reach the 28 week milestone, after which they have to be prepared for the babies to come at any time. Patients with TTTS often deliver prematurely and they’ve been lucky to get this far. Both women are constantly on edge about the possibility of the babies coming, particularly Ashlyn who is ready to snap into action at a moment’s notice. Even when she takes a shower, she doesn’t play music anymore so if Ali calls for her, she’ll be able to hear.

 

Den and Ken don’t go home to Virginia. In fact, they purchase a second home near Ali and Ashlyn in Orlando. They’ve been talking recently about getting a second place in Florida to escape winters up north and ever since learning that they’re about to become grandparents—to twins, no less—their talks became more and more serious. With the babies’ health in jeopardy and an early delivery all but guaranteed, they decide that they want to be as close as possible to their girls and grandsons.

 

In one of the easiest decisions of her life, Ashlyn takes the rest of the NWSL season off after Ali’s surgery. The risk of her delivering is so high that Ashlyn doesn’t want to risk missing the birth of her babies. It would be just her luck to be at an away game in Seattle when Ali goes into labor and miss their sons’ birth.

 

Ali goes into labor just a few days shy of the 32 week milestone. It starts in the middle of the night so she practices her breathing exercises and she wakes Ashlyn. “Babe,” she says, gently shaking Ashlyn’s shoulder. She wishes she could’ve gone at least another week or two before going into labor but they started preparing for labor with their doctors at 28 weeks so they know what to expect as much as possible. Since she didn’t make it until 35 weeks, their next target, she knows they’ll deliver via c-section and that the babies will be taken to the NICU for observation and treatments as soon as they’re born.

 

“What?” Ashlyn says, eyes still closed as she tries to continue sleeping.

 

“I’m in labor,” Ali says.

 

Ashlyn shoots up, sitting against the headboard and looking thoroughly frazzled. “Oh, shit, okay, let’s go have some babies.” She starts to get out of bed but Ali grabs her hand, stopping her.

 

“Relax, babe, we still have a little time. My contractions are about nine minutes apart.”

 

“Nine? Only two more minutes closer together and we’re supposed to go. We don’t have time. Oh, god, we’re having the babies today.”

 

“I hope we get to hold them,” Ali says, cradling her belly. “I don’t know how I’ll handle not being able to hold my babies.” All of a sudden, their roles are switched and Ali is the more panicked of the two. Upon seeing her wife get worked up, Ashlyn calms and takes Ali’s face into her hands.

 

“They’ll be okay,” Ashlyn assures. “Even if we can’t hold them right away, we’ll still get to enjoy staring at their cute little faces, right?”

 

“They’re gonna be the cutest,” Ali says.

 

“Of course they will, they’ll look like their mommy.”

 

They notify their families that Ali is in labor but since the babies will go right to the NICU, they assure Ashlyn’s family that they don’t need to make the drive to the hospital just yet.

 

“You think they’ll listen?” Ali asks once Ashlyn is off the phone with her grandma.

 

“Not a chance in hell.”

 

Three hours after Ali first woke Ashlyn up, her contractions are close enough together to go to the hospital. Everything is in Ali’s car, including both of their hospital bags, the babies’ bag, and the car seats, even though they know they won’t be bringing them home anytime soon.

 

As they get checked in, Ali is hit with the worst contraction yet and she grips the counter in front of her so hard that her knuckles turn white. Ashlyn rubs her back gently, providing emotional support and wishing she could take her wife’s pain away.

 

Since they plan on a c-section, they don’t waste much time once Ali is in her room. They prep her for surgery almost immediately and Ashlyn pulls full scrubs and a hairnet on. Dressed head to toe in scrubs, she pulls out her phone and records a quick video to send to their family in the waiting room.

 

“Getting ready to have some babies,” she says, looking into the camera. She moves the camera up and down, showing off her new outfit. When she’s done, she flips the camera the other way to show Ali on the bed. “Are you ready?” she asks.

 

Ali turns to look at her wife, giving a thumbs up for the video. “Let’s do this.”

 

After what feels like an eternity in the operating room, Ashlyn hears the sharp cries of a baby. She peers over the curtain hiding the proceedings and sees a tiny baby boy in the doctor’s hands. “Baby A has arrived,” Doctor Guerrero announces.

 

“How’s he look?” Ali asks, groggy from the medication she’s on.

 

“Tiny,” Ashlyn says. “But he’s got some lungs.”

 

A nurse quickly brings the baby over to show Ali. Ali takes in his little face, melting at the sight of their son. She only gets to see him for a few seconds before the nurse has to take him down to the NICU but as soon as he’s gone, she hears more cries emanating from where Doctor Guerrero is working.

 

“Here’s baby B,” she says.

 

Once again, a nurse brings the baby over for the anxious moms to see. Baby B, their donor twin, is even smaller than his brother. He’s not crying as much as his brother which appears to be cause for concern as they take him to the NICU. “He’s so small,” Ali cries, tears rolling down her cheeks as Doctor Guerrero finishes the procedure.

 

“Tiny but mighty,” Ashlyn says. Per their plan and the doctor’s recommendation, she stays with Ali instead of following the twins. They’re sure to be running tests on the babies and if she were down there, she’d likely just be in the way. Ali needs the comforting and when she’s able, they’ll both go down to the NICU to see their babies.

 

It takes nearly an hour for them to let Ali go down and when they do, sit sits anxiously in her wheelchair as a nurse wheels her down the hall and Ashlyn walks by her side.

 

The NICU is eerily peaceful and when they see their babies, Ashlyn’s breath catches in her throat.  

 

Nurses hovering over their babies, the first thing Ashlyn notices is that they’re in the same bed. Both boys fit easily in one bed and the larger baby has an arm over his brother’s chest. Despite all the machines and wires, it’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen.

 

“Do twins normally go in the same bed?” she asks as they take in the sight of their babies snuggled up together.

 

“Not very often,” the nurse, Pam, explains. “We couldn’t get baby B to calm down and in cases with twins, it usually helps to put them in the same bed. As soon as we put him with his brother, he settled down and we were able to finish getting him all set up.”

 

They learn that baby A weighs three pounds seven ounces while his brother weighs in at two pounds twelve ounces. He’s unbelievably tiny and Ali’s heart hurts that she couldn't keep them safe a little while longer.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, reaching her hand up to rest across her babies’ chests.

 

Ashlyn gives her wife a quiet moment with the babies before crouching down and putting her hand on her shoulder. “You did everything right,” she says, kissing her wife’s temple. “You kept them cooking as long as you possibly could.”

 

“They’re too small,” Ali says, voice cracking with emotion as she turns to look at her wife.

 

Ashlyn moves closer to Ali, wrapping an arm around her wife’s shoulder. She knows this ordeal has been tough on Ali both physically and emotionally. Since they found out about the condition, Ali has been incredibly hard on herself and it’s been up to Ashlyn to remind her that there’s nothing she could have done differently. “Just think of it this way,” Ashlyn begins, not taking her eyes off of their new baby boys in their shared bed. “We get a few extra weeks of them. At the end of our lives, I think we’ll be happy that we got to know them for a few more weeks than we were supposed to.”

 

“Can we hold them?” Ali asks, looking up at the nurse.

 

“Yes, we’re actually going to have you do kangaroo care which is where you hold them against your skin. It helps keep them warm and comforted so they can sleep and continue growing. Did you go over this with your doctor in your birth plan?”

 

“They told me to wear a button down if I wanted to do it too,” Ashlyn says, gesturing to her shirt.

 

“Exactly,” Pam grins. She takes the first baby out of the bed and gives him to Ali, who has already pulled the front of her hospital gown down to hold them.

 

“Hi, sweet boy,” Ali coos.

 

Ashlyn gets herself settled into a chair and unbuttons her shirt as well, exposing her chest. Pam hands her the smaller baby, who feels fragile in her hands.

 

They take a quiet few moments with their babies before asking Pam to take a quick picture to send to their families. After taking the photo, Pam leaves to check on other babies, leaving the new parents alone with their boys.

 

“They need names,” Ali says.

 

“I know it sounds crazy because he’s so small but this one feels like a teddy,” Ashlyn says. “I can already tell he loves to cuddle.”

 

“Theodore?” Ali asks. It’s not one of the names they discussed but she does kind of like it.

 

“Maybe more like Theo,” Ashlyn offers. She unlocks her phone and looks up the potential name, finding that it means ‘gift’.

 

“Oh, I like Theo,” Ali says. “You know what name I still really like?”

 

“Hmm?” Ashlyn asks, as she looks through the name page for Theo.

 

“Max. Max and Theo has a nice ring to it, I think.”

 

“What does Max mean again?” Ashlyn questions. She loves the combination. It feels like a good pair because they’re both short, cool names but they’re not overly matching so the babies will feel like they have their own identities.

 

“Not sure. Look it up,” Ali says, waiting as Ashlyn opens her phone again.

 

“Oh, wow,” Ashlyn breathes. “So Max means ‘greatest’ and Theo means ‘gift’ so together they’d be greatest gift.”

 

“It’s perfect,” Ali grins. “Hi, little Max,” she coos, looking down at the baby on her chest.

 

“And hello to you, Theo,” Ashlyn says.

 

“How are we doing over here?” Pam questions when she circles back around to them. She has a few stuffed animals in her hands, which she holds where Ali and Ashlyn can see them.

 

“They have names now,” Ali grins.

 

“Oh, perfect, we’ll get those written on their cards in just a sec. First, you can pick one of these for each baby,” she says, holding out the stuffed animals. Upon closer inspection, Ali realizes that each one is a crochet octopus, all in different colors.

 

“I like the green and yellow ones,” Ali says. “Do all babies get these?”

 

“Ones in the NICU, yes,” Pam says as she puts two of the animals in Ali’s preferred colors in the incubator. “The thought is that the tentacles remind preemies of the umbilical cord and makes them feel like they’re still in the womb. We’ve seen that it help calm babies when they grab ahold of them so it prevents distress and helps them continue to develop. It also stops them from grabbing at their breathing and feeding tubes because they’re softer and easy to get ahold of. They’re made and donated by people in the community.”

 

“Oh, wow,” Ashlyn says. “That’s amazing. Give them our thanks.”

 

After about thirty minutes, Ali and Ashlyn decide to switch babies. After holding Max for so long, Theo feels even smaller in Ali’s hands but he snuggles to her immediately and she realizes why Ashlyn wanted to nickname him Teddy. “Hey, Teddy, our snuggly boy.”

 

“See?” Ashlyn laughs. “No wonder they had to put him in a bed with Max.”

 

“He loves his brother.”

 

“And his moms,” Ashlyn adds.

 

~

 

They spend nearly 24 hours a day at the hospital with their boys. Some days, they don’t leave at all and instead sleep in the NICU and others, they return home only to shower and sleep. Of the two, Theo faces the most challenges. While Max is able to breathe on his own after two weeks, Theo still needs the help and the oxygen tube remains. Kangaroo care is essential for both babies but especially for Theo, who is the most calm when he’s in one of his mothers’ arms. When he’s against their chests, he falls asleep easily which helps him conserve all his energy so he can grow.

 

As difficult as it is to see their babies struggle, the new mothers love the bonding time with the boys. Ashlyn won’t get to experience breast feeding like Ali will but she quickly learns that holding her babies against her skin is as close as she’ll get to that experience. Sometimes while Ali pumps, Ashlyn holds both babies on her chest, relaxing so much with her boys in her arms that she nearly falls asleep a couple of times.

 

“You okay over there?” Ali teases when Ashlyn has been quiet a little too long. She looks over to her wife, who is reclining with her eyes closed and the babies on her chest. It’s quite the sight and before any of her loves can move a muscle, she snaps a few photos on her phone.

 

“I saw that,” Ashlyn says, turning her head slightly to look at Ali.

 

“I love seeing you with them. It’s cute.”

 

“They’re the sweetest,” Ashlyn says. She kisses each boy’s head in turn, prompting Max to open his eyes a little. “Good morning, baby, did you have a good nap? Are you getting bigger so Mommy and I can take you home?” There’s no timetable quite yet on when they’ll be able to take the babies home but the estimate is often that preemies are ready to go home close to their due date. They were eight and a half weeks early and their original due date isn’t until the second week in November so they know they have a long road ahead of them. Ashlyn privately hopes that they’ll be home by her birthday.

 

~

 

Ashlyn doesn’t quite get her birthday wish.

 

Although they make incredible progress in the five weeks between their birth and Ashlyn’s birthday, they face some setbacks too. Max is the first to start bottle feeding but one night when Ali and Ashlyn are at home, they get a call that his heart rate dropped unexpectedly. It corrected itself quickly but there is cause for concern that it could be indicative of a larger problem.

 

They rush to the hospital to be with their boys, waiting anxiously for the doctors to perform some tests on Max to figure out what’s going on.

 

“I hate this,” Ashlyn says. “I wish I could just make them better so we could take them home. We should be getting up in the middle of the night for feedings and diaper changes, not to rush to the hospital.”

 

“Me too,” Ali says. She rests her head on Ashlyn’s shoulder as they watch Theo sleep peacefully, distracting themselves while they wait for news about Max.

 

After what seems like an eternity, a doctor brings Max back from where they were performing tests. He passes him into Ali’s waiting arms, who relaxes slightly with her baby safe in her arms. “Well, we didn’t find anything wrong with his heart.”

 

“Something was wrong or else this wouldn’t have happened,” Ashlyn jumps in.

 

“Honestly, this is something that happens with preemies, especially ones who have just transitioned to breast or bottle feeding. He’s been bottle feeding for two days, right?”

 

Ali and Ashlyn both nod.

 

“It’s likely that he was overexerting himself bottle feeding. I think if we put the feeding tube back in and wait another couple of days before giving him another bottle, he should be okay.”

 

“This isn’t because he was the recipient twin? Aren’t they more at risk for heart problems?” Ali questions.

 

“They are, yes, but I don’t see any evidence of that here. It appears to be a normal preemie complication. We’ll monitor him over the next few days before we try bottle feeding again.”

 

“Thanks, doc,” Ashlyn says.

 

The doctor leaves and when they’re alone, Ali looks down at Max who is sleeping peacefully against her chest. If she didn’t know any better, she'd never guess that just two hours ago, his heart rate dropped to dangerous levels. “You scared us, sweetie.”

 

“Maybe he just wanted us to come back and hold him,” Ashlyn says. She runs her hand over his back, loving the way his warm, soft skin feels against her palm.

 

“If that’s the case, he got his wish because there’s no way we’re leaving again tonight.”

 

Before Ashlyn even gets a chance to hold the sleeping baby, a nurse stops by to put a feeding tube back in. It’s nearly time for their next feeding and she wants to do it before he gets fussy. He cries and squirms as she works and Ashlyn’s heart breaks for the helpless baby. When the nurse is done, Ashlyn takes Max into her arms, gently rocking and shushing to get him to calm down.

 

“Like magic,” Ali says as Ashlyn manages to calm the baby in mere seconds. “You have a magic touch.”

 

“Not the first time you’ve said that to me,” Ashlyn teases. She winks at her wife who rolls her eyes in response.

 

“Not in front of the kids,” Ali playfully chastises.

 

Max’s setback puts him at almost the same spot as his brother. While it once seemed as if Max would be able to come home a little earlier than Theo, that is no longer the case.

 

Ashlyn hopes that they would come home by her birthday but with Max’s setback and Theo still playing catch up, that doesn’t happen. They do, however, get moved from the NICU to the nursery two days before her birthday and then three days after celebrating her 30th birthday (at the hospital with the babies, of course), the boys are finally cleared to go home.

 

After six long weeks spending nearly 24 hours a day at the hospital, the nurses and doctors have almost become a second family. Just before they leave, they take the boys down to the NICU one last time to say goodbye to the nurses, promising that they’ll bring the boys by for visits every now and then.

 

Each mom carries a baby and as they leave the hospital, it hits Ashlyn just how lucky they were to have twins and how much it’ll change things at home. They’ve been in such a weird limbo these last six weeks because although they spent most of their time with the babies, when they were at home, not much was different. They didn’t wake to the sounds of crying babies or sort through massive piles baby clothes in the laundry. Now, however, they’ll have the full experience of being moms to twins.

 

“You think we can bring some of those nurses home to help us out?” she asks as they secure both car seats in the car.

 

“No, but we can call my parents whenever we want.”

 

When they arrive home, they’re immediately greeted by Loki, who sniffs at the babies curiously.

 

“We brought your brothers home,” Ali says, scratching behind the dog’s ears as she takes Theo out of his car seat. Loki jumps on Ali, standing on his hind legs and putting his front paws on Ali’s legs. He sniffs the baby, wagging his tail excitedly.

 

“I have one too,” Ashlyn says, calling the dog over to meet Max. Loki sniffs Max for a few seconds before Ashlyn stands, the baby cradled in her arms. “I think he doesn’t know what to think about them,” she says, walking with Ali to the couch. “He didn’t even try to kiss them and you know he loves giving us kisses.”

 

“Probably better that he didn’t. At least for now,” Ali says. They both settle on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table and a baby lying on their thighs. “I can’t get over this twin thing. Like, we obviously knew there would be two of them but I feel like it’s so different actually getting to see and hold them.”

 

“They have a built in best friend, that’s for sure. And these cheeks are no joke,” Ashlyn says, gently squishing Max’s chubby cheeks between her pointer finger and thumb. “Half of their body weight is in their cheeks.”

 

“It’s too much,” Ali grins. “Even Teddy is getting chubby. I’m obsessed.”

 

“Should’ve made one or two more.”

 

“No,” Ali laughs. “Oh, God, can you imagine four babies at a time? No thank you.”

 

They hang out downstairs with the babies for a while, mostly catching up on shows they’ve missed recently while the boys sleep either in their laps or in the motorized swings they got at their baby shower. After nearly two months of back and forth to the hospital to see their babies, it’s nice to finally have them at home and both Ali and Ashlyn savor these moments as a family.

 

In the morning, they alternate turns in the shower and even give the boys a bath too. They have a photographer friend coming over to do a newborn shoot with the twins, something they’ve been eagerly anticipating.

 

When it first became clear that the babies would come home soon, they debated whether or not a newborn shoot was worth it. The boys are six weeks old already so it’s not as if they could use the photos for any sort of birth announcement. Ultimately, they decided that they spend day and night worrying about their babies’ health for six weeks so they want to show their little fighters off to the world and take their first family photos.

 

Gabby specializes in newborn photos so when she arrives, she has example photos for Ali and Ashlyn to look through while the boys finish their naps.

 

“You took all of these?” Ashlyn asks in awe as they flip through the photos.

 

“Of course,” Gabby smiles. “It’s the best job in the world getting to hang out with babies and seeing how happy their families are. The twin photos are in the back if you want to try any of those poses.”

 

Ali flips towards the back of the book, where she finds photos of twins posed together, some of which feature other family as well. “That one,” she says, pointing to a picture of twins cradled in a wicker basket lined with a blanket. They have their arms around each other and it reminds her of the first time they saw their babies in the NICU, Max with his arm over his brother’s chest.

 

“We can definitely do that one. That’s one I do with a lot of twins. I mean, how can you resist that pose?”

 

They pick out a few other poses they want to try of just the babies and some they want to do as a family and when the babies wake up from their nap, Ali and Ashlyn go to get them ready while Gabby goes out to her car to bring in her light rig and any props they may need.

 

Gabby works quickly to get the babies into position and manages to catch a few shots with their eyes open before they drift back off to sleep. “The good thing about newborn photography compared to other kids is that it doesn’t really matter when they fall asleep. Older kids, you have to work so hard to keep their attention.”

 

Ashlyn stands with her arm around Ali’s waist, watching as Gabby breezes through photos of their boys. Both babies are naked for the first photos, not even wearing a diaper so they have to move quickly to avoid any cleanup. They looks so cute snuggled up together and she still can’t believe that they’re moms. “You made them,” she marvels, glancing over at her wife who looks similarly in awe of the babies.

 

“I did,” Ali grins. She leans her head against Ashlyn’s shoulder, smiling as they watch the photoshoot. They’ve talked about having kids for almost as long as they’ve been together and now they have two beautiful babies who are finally at home where they belong. “We have the cutest babies.”

 

“All you,” Ashlyn says, pressing a kiss to Ali’s hairline.

 

The photoshoot takes under two hours and before she leaves, Gabby uploads the pictures to her computer so they can scroll through the shots. She doesn’t normally edit them on the spot for clients but since Ali and Ashlyn are friends and they asked her to stay for dinner anyway, she works on a few of their favorites as Ali prepares dinner.

 

“Is it okay if you send me those ones to post?” Ashlyn asks, pointing to a family one and one of just the twins. In the family pose, both babies are cradled in Ali’s arm while she has her arms around Ali from behind. Both women are looking down at the babies in awe. The photo of the twins is one of the first ones they took, their naked boys cradled in the basket with their arms around each other. They’re both on their sides facing each other, strategically positioned so nothing is on display that shouldn’t be.

 

“Absolutely.”

 

Ashlyn uploads the pictures to social media, thoughtfully typing out a caption.

 

_Together, their names mean ‘greatest gift’. We are certainly feeling that today, our first full day at home with them. Mommies love you, Max and Theo._

 

She tags Ali in the post and gives Gabby photo credit. As soon as she posts, she’s flooded with notifications, including some from her family and friends. Sydney comments that she can’t wait to come over and meet them while Kelley says that she better be the favorite aunt.

 

When Theo’s sharp cries cut through the room, she scoops him out of the swing and bounces with him in her arms. “It’s okay, baby,” she coos. “Mama’s got you.” She paces the living room with the crying baby, managing to calm him slightly.

 

“He must be hungry,” Ali says from where she’s working in the kitchen. “Here, I’ll nurse him and you can get a bottle ready for Max.” Even before they left the hospital, they learned that this is the best, most efficient way to tackle feeding two hungry babies. Each time they feed, they alternate which one gets nursed and which one gets a bottle of already pumped milk. When one is hungrier than the other like this, the one with the more immediate need is often the one nursed.

 

“Sorry,” Ashlyn says as she passes by Gabby. “Can I get you anything? Wine? Beer?”

 

“Just water would be nice, thanks.”

 

Ashlyn gets a glass of water for Gabby while she warms a bottle for Max. “Thanks for coming over today. I know it was kind of short notice since we didn’t know for sure they’d be coming home but I think if we had waited to call you, we would have forgotten to do it.”

 

“No trouble at all. I was looking forward to meeting them so this was the perfect opportunity. They’re the cutest.”

 

Ashlyn grins, looking down at Max eagerly drinking down the bottle she’s holding. “Yeah, they’re pretty great. I think we’ll keep them.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super long chapter today. Hope you all enjoyed :) any specific storylines you'd like to see in these continuation chapters? I have a few ready but can always use more prompts.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashlyn plays her first game with the twins in the stands

  
  


Despite being born two months early with a lot of catching up to do, both boys exceed expectations early on. By the time the new NWSL season rolls around, the seven month old babies are much more alert and active. They’re a handful although Ashlyn wants them at her game, she worries about Ali handling them alone in a crowded stadium. 

 

“You really don’t have to bring them tonight if you don’t want,” Ashlyn says as she gets ready to leave for the stadium. She wants them at the game more than anything because she wouldn’t be anywhere without Ali and the twins have given her even more to play for but she knows how hard they are to wrangle now. She doesn’t want to put that responsibility solely on her wife, for whom it would be much easier to watch from home. 

 

“It’s the first game of the season and your first since last August. I’m not missing the game and if I’m not missing the game, they’re not missing the game,” Ali replies. “We’ll be in a box with Dom and Cassius, it’ll be okay.” 

 

Ashlyn ends up picking a graphic t-shirt and her black Orlando snapback so when Ali goes to get the boys ready after their nap, she gets both of their Orlando snapbacks as well, pairing them with their jerseys. Both boys have two jerseys: one with Harris on the back and the other with Mama, both featuring Ashlyn’s number. She decides to dress Max in his Harris one and Theo in his Mama one and settles their hats on their heads before bringing them downstairs. 

 

“Cutest little mascots,” Ashlyn says from where she’s eating her usual pregame meal in the kitchen. 

 

“Can you keep an eye on them for a sec? I’m gonna go get dressed,” Ali says. She too picks a Harris jersey and when she comes downstairs, Ashlyn smirks at the sight of her wife. “What?” Ali asks. 

 

“I love when you wear my jersey,” Ashlyn grins. 

 

Ali smiles, looping her arms around Ashlyn’s neck to give her a kiss. She’s been wearing Ashlyn’s clothes since the first night they met but there’s something about when she wears one of her jerseys that makes Ashlyn go wild. “Maybe you can take it off of me later. You go get three points, we’ll put the babies to sleep, and then we’ll take some time for us.”

 

“Mmm, sounds like the perfect day. I should get going but I’ll see you after the game. You should bring them down to the field at the end, I know the girls will love to see them.” 

 

“Yeah, we’ll come down. Good luck, baby, I love you.” 

 

“Love you too,” Ashlyn grins, pulling Ali in for another kiss. When they part, Ashlyn goes to where the boys are lying on the playmat in the living room and gives each one a goodbye kiss. She smiles at the snapbacks that match hers and snaps a quick selfie with the babies. 

 

_ Gameday ready,  _ she captions the photo as she heads out the front door. 

 

Ali doesn’t have to leave for about another hour, which is generally the amount of time it takes to get two babies ready to leave the house. Now that Ashlyn has gotten the full effect of their outfits, she takes the snapbacks off and puts them with the backpack they use as a diaper bag. With Theo on the playmat, she nurses Max, who was starting to get a little fussy. 

 

“Hi, sweetie,” Ali says, looking down at Max as she feeds him. She gently strokes his cheek with her finger, distracting him from the task at hand and eliciting a smile. It’s been a long seven months of breastfeeding and pumping not only one baby but two babies and she knows these days are coming to an end sooner rather than later. She wants to make it to at least a year but she plans to let the babies dictate if they want to stop before then. They haven’t lost interest just yet and she soaks up every moment she can. 

 

“Hungry boy today, huh?” Ali asks when Max eats a little more than normal. “Are you growing?” She holds him up by her face, peppering him with kisses before moving to burp him over her shoulder. 

 

Even Theo eats more than normal and Ali makes a mental note that the next time they use a bottle, they might need to give an extra ounce or two. 

 

Just before leaving the house, she changes both of their diapers and double checks the backpack that she has everything she’ll need. When she arrives at the stadium, she parks in the VIP section reserved for players, staff, and family and straps the boys into the double stroller. 

 

“Hey, Ali, nice to see you again,” James, the security guy says. 

 

“You too,” Ali grins. “I’m still sad we missed the end of last season but, you know, we had more important things to worry about.” 

 

James walks with her to the door and holds it open for her. “Ash was showing off pictures of the boys on her way in earlier. She’s very excited you’re bringing them today.” 

 

“Wish me luck that they handle this environment well. Otherwise, we might be going right back home.” 

 

The private parking lot and entrance can only get Ali so far and soon, she emerges from the private hallway and into the main stadium. From the moment she’s among the fans, she attracts attention. A double stroller with identical twins attracts enough attention as it is but when she’s constantly recognized as Ashlyn’s wife, it’s on a different level. 

 

She keeps moving as best as she can, pausing only briefly when she needs to explain that, no, they can’t take pictures with the babies. Since they’ve never taken the babies to a game before, this is the first time she’s fielded this question and it makes her uncomfortable that people would even ask such a thing. She walks a little quicker and when she finally makes it to the box where Dom is watching warm ups with Cassius, she breathes a sigh of relief. 

 

“Creeps asking if they can take pictures with the babies,” she grumbles. 

 

“That happens all the time,” Dom says. 

 

“Like, who asks for a selfie with a stranger’s kids? What would possess people to do that?”

 

“Beats me,” Dom shrugs. 

 

“Hi, babies,” Cassius coos. The four year old loves playing with the babies and Ali hopes he’ll help keep the boys occupied during the game. At the sight of their friend, both boys start kicking their legs, their way of asking to get out of the stroller. 

 

Ali sets up a soft blanket for the boys to play on and unstraps the twins, setting them down on the blanket. Both babies are now able to sit up on their own and they’re more alert as they try to grab at everything.

 

“Crawling yet?” Dom asks. 

 

“No, not yet,” Ali says. “I know a lot of babies start crawling around now but since they were preemies, they’re doing things at their own pace. Our pediatrician always reminds us that their adjusted age is about two months than they actually are so it’s actually pretty good that they’re even sitting up at this point.” 

 

“No rush,” Dom says. “It was easier when we could keep Cash contained and you have two of them so enjoy not chasing after them while you can.” 

 

“Yeah, exactly. We’re not worried because we know they’ll get there eventually and every baby develops at their own pace.” 

 

With the twins occupied by toys and Cassius, Ali sneaks a quick photo from behind of them sitting next to each other in their jerseys. She posts the photo to social media, typing out a quick caption. 

 

_ Ready to cheer on their favorite player @ashlynharris24 _

 

While the kids play on the blanket, Ali and Dom watch the teams walk out for the start of the match. Now team captain, Ashlyn leads the Pride players, looking focused and ready to go. The game is just about to begin when, out of the corner of her eye, she sees Max excitedly waving a toy around. He accidentally hits Theo in the head with it, causing Theo to immediately burst into tears.

 

“Oh, buddy,” Ali says. She reaches down to take the crying baby into her arms, bouncing and shushing. “It’s okay, sweetie. It’s okay.” Theo, still their cuddle bug, nuzzles into Ali’s neck, his tears seeping through Ali’s jersey. She presses a gentle kiss to his head, right where the toy hit. 

 

His brother crying startles Max, who begins to wail as well. Ali takes him into her arms too, cuddling both babies close. 

 

The babies feed off of each other, both crying no matter Ali’s efforts to soothe them. When trying to comfort them doesn’t work, she decides to try the distraction method. She leaves the room, bringing the babies out into their closed off seats in the stadium. Here, the sights and sounds of the game distract the babies from their crying. 

 

“You see Mama?” Ali asks, bouncing the twins as she tries to get them looking towards Ashlyn in goal. In the chaos, she missed the first ten minutes of the game and is pleased to see that the Pride is already up a goal. “This is what Mama does when she’s not at home changing your diapers. Pretty cool, huh? And you know what? The first place I ever kissed her was right down there by the field.” 

 

Ali looks towards the section she sat in during the championship game their freshman year. The memories are still so vibrant in her mind that she can’t quite believe that it was over eleven years ago now. Eleven years, marriage, and twins later, Ali is more in love with Ashlyn than she’s ever been and she’s so thankful she finally gathered the courage to act on her feelings that rainy night.

 

The babies are starting to get heavy, especially when she holds them both at the same time, so as soon as they’re calm, she goes back inside and sets them back on their blanket. She’s just put her attention back on the game when Ashlyn makes her first save of the night. 

 

“No rust there,” Dom comments. 

 

“She was so excited to play again, especially in front of the twins.”

 

“Syd and I were like that too. It makes it all more meaningful.” 

 

For the first half, the babies are pretty content to have Cassius playing with them. But during halftime, they start to get fussy, ready for a feeding. Ali reaches into the diaper bag, searching for the bottles she thought she packed. “Shoot,” she mutters at the realization that she left them on the counter. “Hey, Dom, you don’t mind if I nurse in here, do you? I thought I packed bottles but apparently not.” 

 

“No, not at all. I’m gonna take Cash to the bathroom and to get food. Need anything?” 

 

“A water would be great, thanks.” 

 

Dom leaves Ali and the twins alone. She strips out of her jersey, leaving her in a nursing tank and bra.  Well aware of the window overlooking the field and potentially curious fans, she throws a blanket over her shoulder before pulling down the front of her tank and bra. “Good thing Mommy has these or you’d be hungry, huh?” She says as she brings Theo under the blanket. “Mama would’ve been in trouble if she forgot bottles like this. She’d have to take you home.” 

 

She feeds both boys in turn and when Max is about halfway done, Dom returns with Cassius, some waters, and popcorn. 

 

The Pride win their season opener 3-1 and when it’s over, Ali and Dom bring the kids down to the field. 

 

Ashlyn is in the middle of talking to Megan, a Seattle player, when she spots Ali coming towards her with a baby on both hips. She’s wearing her jersey and she’s smiling when she greets Ashlyn’s teammates as she passes. “What a sight,” Ashlyn says, pointing to Ali. 

 

“I gotta get my hands on those babes,” Megan says. She and Ashlyn walk towards Ali and when they’re within ready, Ashlyn takes both babies from her wife. 

 

“Did you watch me play?” she coos, kissing their cheeks. “I think they got even cuter.” 

 

“In the last three hours?” Ali laughs. 

 

“Yep.” 

 

Ashlyn hands Theo to Megan, who is immediately enamored with the happy baby. “You’re right, they are the cutest ever.” 

 

They’re soon joined by some of Ashlyn’s teammates, who always love having the babies around. They take turns holding them and argue amongst themselves which one is which until Alanna finally asks Ashlyn. 

 

“You have Max,” she says. “Toni has Theo.” 

 

“How do you tell them apart?” Toni asks. 

 

“It’s pretty easy, actually. Theo is smaller and he has a little birthmark on the back of his hand. They have pretty different personalities so it’s easy to tell them apart that way too.” 

 

“Except the days when it seems like they switch personalities,” Ali says. “For some reason, they start acting like the other. They’re pretty convincing so that’ll be fun when they’re older and try to trick us.”

 

“They’re gonna be little monsters,” Ashlyn says. “I’m gonna teach them everything I know.” 

 

“No you’re not,” Ali laughs. “You’re already the more overprotective one. There’s no way you’re gonna teach them how to be troublemakers. Anyway, we should get going because they’re about to get cranky and they still need a bath. But first, I want a family pic.” 

 

Ashlyn takes Theo into her arms while Ali passes her phone to Alanna, who hands over Max. Miraculously, both boys still have their hats on and with so many teammates making noises behind Alanna, they’re able to get the babies’ attention for the photo. 

 

“Cutest cuties,” Ali says as she makes sure she’s happy with the pictures they got. 

 

“Ready to go home?” Ashlyn asks. “These boys are getting sleepy.” 

 

They say goodbye to Ashlyn’s teammates and when they get the stroller from where Ali left it by the team tunnel. She still has to shower and change so she kisses Ali and the babies goodbye, promising not to be too far behind them. 

 

Once at home, Ali knows that Ashlyn will be bummed if she misses bathtime so she feeds the babies first and by the time she’s done, Ashlyn pulls in the driveway. Now dressed in joggers and her t-shirt from earlier, she looks relaxed and happy as she greets her family. She scoops both babies into her arms and carries them upstairs to the bathtub with Ali following closely behind.

 

“Thanks for bringing them today,” Ashlyn says as they get the boys ready for their bath. “It was so nice knowing you were all there watching and cheering for me.” 

 

“Like I said, we wouldn’t have missed it. They obviously didn’t understand what was happening but they did seem pretty entranced by everything when I took them out into the stadium. I think they’ll love it when they’re older.” 

 

“I hope so because you know I’m gonna get them playing as soon as they’re old enough.” 

 

Both babies love bathtime and as soon as they’re in the water, they start splashing and grabbing for their toys. Splashing is a recent development and, at first, it was generally aimed at one another but tonight, they seem to team up to launch all the water at their moms, causing both babies to laugh uncontrollably. 

 

“You little stinkers,” Ashlyn coos. She puts a hand in the water and gently splashes them back. Both babies apparently think this is hilarious and start laughing even harder. When they’re a little more settled, they babble at each other in a way that they seem to understand but their moms cannot decipher. 

 

“Twins really do have their own language,” Ali says, laughing along with the babies. As they watch the twins enjoy themselves in the bath, she thinks back to how scared she was when she first learned they were having twins. Back then, the prospect seemed daunting and she worried about learning how to be a mom with two babies instead of one. She worried about not being able to give each baby enough love and attention but those fears have been unfounded. 

 

It’s not the easiest life and she knows she’ll face challenges when Ashlyn leaves for away games but she wouldn’t change a thing. She watches as Ashlyn records a quick video of the babies splashing, laughing, and babbling. 

 

“I can’t believe this is our life,” Ali says once Ashlyn stops the recording. “These kids are too much.” 

 

“They’re the best.” 

 

Finally tired of being splashed, Ashlyn starts washing Max’s hair while Ali works on a wiggly Theo who is still trying to splash water out of the tub. Neither baby has a ton of hair yet, though what they do have is as dark as Ali’s. 

 

“Nothing better than clean babies,” Ashlyn says as she pulls Max out of the tub and wraps him in his shark towel. She holds him in her arms and breathes in that wonderful clean baby scent. “You smell so good, baby.” His sleepiness catching up to him, he snuggles against her chest as she kisses his forehead. 

 

They dress the babies in lightweight pajamas with their sleep sacks on top, which they’ve found the babies prefer to standard blanket sleepers because it’s closer to a swaddle but they can still move their legs.

 

“They’re so snuggly,” Ali says as they settle into bed together. They won’t fall asleep just yet but they love cuddling the twins as they fall asleep and then put them in their cribs after. It’s the nightly routine that works for them and the babies, all four family members (and Loki) taking all the snuggles they can get. 

 

Max falls asleep right on Ashlyn’s chest while Theo sleeps nestled in between his moms. When they twins are sound asleep, Ali and Ashlyn carry them to their nursery and put them in their cribs for the rest of the night. 

 

With the babies in their beds, Ashlyn quickly closes the door behind them and pulls Ali in for a hug. She molds their bodies together and draws Ali in for a long, slow kiss that leaves both of them breathless. When they part, Ashlyn has a smirk on her face. “Now, if I remember correctly, I was promised that I could help take this jersey off of you tonight.” 

 

“Hmm, I think you might be right. You should take me to bed and show me how much you love when I wear your jersey.” 

 

Ashlyn takes Ali’s hand and leads her down the hall to their bedroom. They have to be quiet with sleeping babies just down the hall, which is sometimes a struggle for Ali. 

 

Still full of adrenaline from the game, Ashlyn worships every inch of her wife’s body, paying extra attention to the places that drive Ali wild and her personal favorite spots, including the UNC tattoo on her hip. Luckily, they’re beyond the point when Ali felt self conscious about her post-baby body, which Ashlyn spent a lot of time reassuring her about their first few times having sex after the babies arrived. Seven months later, Ali is back to her confident self but Ashlyn still makes sure to remind her how beautiful she is. 

 

When they’re both satisfied and exhausted, Ali curls up with her head on Ashlyn’s chest, a spot she’s had to share with the twins recently. “The babies take after me,” she sleepily mumbles. “They love sleeping on your chest too.” 

 

Ashlyn smiles as she presses a kiss to Ali’s head. “Night, Al, love you.” When Ali doesn’t respond and she starts snoring a little, Ashlyn realizes just how tired she must have been. She kisses Ali’s head again and settles against her pillow, knowing they only have a few hours to sleep before the babies will need a feeding a diaper change. 

  
  



	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang reunites for tobin and christen's wedding

  


Months after the twins’ first birthday, Christen and Tobin finally get married in Portland. Ali and Ashlyn are both in the wedding and as much as they’ll miss the twins, they’re excited for a kid-free getaway. Between the babies arriving early and the NWSL season, Ali and Ashlyn haven’t had a vacation in a while and they’re looking forward to four days of celebrating with their friends and alone time for themselves.

 

“Did you pack extra diapers?” Ali asks as they pack for the boys to stay with her parents.

 

“We’re just gonna take the whole damn box. If they go through that many then they have other problems to worry about.”

 

“Do we have enough milk for their bottles at night?”

 

Ali achieved her goal of nursing until the twins turned one two months ago and they’ve slowly been weaned ever since. They still get bottles at night but instead of breastmilk, they get store bought most nights. Theo is taking the change a little better than Max, who constantly tries to pull down the neckline of Ali’s shirt when he’s hungry.

 

As much as she wants to give her poor boobs a break after nursing twins for a year, she feels a little guilty when he so clearly requests to be nursed. Most times, she gives in, figuring that he’s not ready to be fully weaned and, frankly, she still loves that bonding time. Max getting his way often prompts Theo to copy his brother so he usually ends up getting nursed as well.

 

“Your mom bought some. Are you bringing the pump?”

 

“You think I should? I’d probably dry up over the next four days do you think? Max wouldn’t be too happy but it might be a good chance to fully wean him. Next time he tries I could tell him there’s nothing left.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs as she picks outfits for the babies to wear while at their grandparents’. “Honestly, whatever you think is best. You know your body and if you want to stop, this would be a good time to make that happen.”

 

Ali bites her lip, torn between her motherly instincts and wanting her body back. She stands over Max’s crib, watching him sleep peacefully as she weighs her options. Between pregnancy and breastfeeding, the twins have ruled her body for nearly two years now but, in the end, her duty as a mom overrules everything else. “I’m gonna bring it. We’ll just dump it all so we don’t have to try to bring it home or anything but I don’t want to force him to stop if he’s not ready.”

 

“I knew you were gonna say that,” Ashlyn says. She crosses the room to where Ali is standing in front of Max’s crib and circles her arms around her waist. She presses a gentle kiss to the side of Ali’s neck. “You’re the best mom. You know that, right?”

 

“They have the two best moms.” She studies her sleeping baby, clad in the shark pajamas Ashlyn picked. “I’m going to miss them.”

 

“Me too. It’s hard being away from them. I thought it might get easier as the season went on but, honestly, it only got more difficult.”

 

“I wish they could come with us but we need this time, right? It’s been too long since we’ve been able to focus on each other.”

 

“Mmm, I plan to focus on you and your body a lot while we’re gone.”

 

Ali smiles as she turns around in Ashlyn’s arms. “You know, that’s one benefit of breastfeeding twins for so long.”

 

“Believe me, I’ve noticed. I think you’re more ripped than you were before. I bust my ass training every day and my stomach still isn’t as defined as yours. If I could breastfeed without the pregnancy part first, I’d be so on board.”

 

They go back to packing before the boys wake up and when Ali tries to pack too much, Ashlyn stops her. “Babe, it’s only four days and your parents already have a ton of stuff there. Plus, they have the key to our house so if they need anything, they can get it.”

 

“You know I overpack for everything.”

 

“I know and I always try to stop you.”

 

“So you’re saying I don’t need to pack the nightlight?”

 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying because they already have one. They have a room at your parents’ stocked almost as well as this one. They’ll be fine. We’ll bring diapers, wipes, bottles, extra clothes, and a few toys and even that is over packing.”

 

“But they need different shoes to match all of their outfits.”

 

“They’re not even walking yet,” Ashlyn laughs. “Their black moccasins will be fine.”

 

“You’re no fun,” Ali playfully pouts.

 

“Yeah, let’s see if you’re still saying that this weekend.”

 

~

 

Leaving the babies is never easy and when they drop them off with Ali’s parents, they take nearly an hour to say goodbye. When they finally make it out of the house, Ali struggles to hold her emotions together.

 

“It’s okay, Al,” Ashlyn says, taking her wife’s hand as she drives.

 

“Is it too late to bring them with us?”

 

“I mean, they’re under two so I guess we technically could. Do you want to get them and go back home to get their birth certificates real quick?”

 

“No, it’s fine. It just sucks to leave them.”

 

“Trust me, I know. Remember my first time away from them? I cried so hard after we facetimed that first night.”

 

“You did?” Ali asks.

 

“Of course I did,” Ashlyn says, thinking back to her first trip away from the babies for a national team camp. “They were still so small and I felt guilty for leaving them and that you had to take care of them by yourself while I was gone. It wasn’t pretty. But it makes coming home so much sweeter.”

 

She returned home on a flight that left mere hours after the game, not willing to spend another moment away from her family if she didn’t have to. She thought the babies would be sleeping when she got home but instead, she found Ali getting them ready for bed. In their master bedroom, Ali was standing by the bed with both babies lying in front of her as she dressed them for bed after their bath. Ashlyn paused in the doorway, not alerting Ali to her presence and watched as Ali pressed down on the beds with her hands and make popping noises with her lips to make the babies laugh. Both babies were cracking up at their mom’s antics and when Ashlyn finally joined her family, Ali grinned from ear to ear as Ashlyn snuggled the babies close.

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. And we need the break.”

 

Ali calms down after that and on the plane, she orders a glass of wine to start their trip off right.

 

When they land in Portland, they quickly check into the hotel before Ali has to meet Christen and her other bridesmaids to get mani pedis. Ashlyn, meanwhile, joins Tobin, Kelley, and Whitney for—what else—soccer. Alex is one of Tobin’s bridesmaids as well but she joined Christen and her bridesmaids at the nail salon.

 

Despite the distance between the friends (Tobin plays in Portland and Kelley in Utah while Whitney attends law school back in North Carolina) they fall back into their old ways easily. Of the former housemates only Ashlyn and Alex are married (for now, at least) and Ashlyn is the only one with kids. Of Ali’s friends, Heather is married and after years of infertility, is finally expecting her and Dave’s first baby in the spring.

 

“Babies didn’t want to come see their favorite Auntie Kel?” Kelley asks as they kick the ball around.

 

“Yeah, they told me they didn’t want to see you,” Ashlyn teases. “No, I’m sure they would’ve been happier to come with us but we need some time for ourselves. It’s why we’re staying a couple of extra days.”

 

“If you were straight, I’d say you’d probably make baby number three while you’re here,” Kelley says.

 

“And thank god we’re not,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

“Do you want more kids?” Tobin asks.

 

“Of course but not right now. If we tried again right now, that’d be three kids in two years and that sounds way too crazy. We’ll probably wait another year or two before we have another. How about you and Chris? Any plans to join the mom club?”

 

“Not immediately, no. We still want to be able to travel and all that. Maybe someday but not for a while.”

 

“We probably could have waited a while to have kids too but we were too excited. I wouldn’t change a thing and I know that sounds like I’m trying to convince you but I’m really not. I’m just saying that for us, it was right to have kids when we did.”

 

“I get you, don’t worry.”

 

Their two a side pickup game gets far too competitive and when they’re done, Ashlyn and Kelley are victorious.

 

“You were supposed to let me win, I’m getting married tomorrow,” Tobin says.

 

“Sorry, bud, too competitive for that,” Kelley says, patting her friend on the back.

 

“And don’t forget that you didn’t let me win for my wedding. I guess it’s good luck for us to lose the pickup game right before we get married.”

 

“Better be,” Tobin says.

 

~

 

Ashlyn hardly sees Ali the next day. They wake up early and order room service and when they’re done, Ali is off to get her hair done and get ready at the wedding venue. Ashlyn, meanwhile, has to run a few errands as part of her bridesmaid duties and when she’s done, it’s time for her to go to the venue to get ready with Tobin and her bridesmaids.

 

“Thanks for not making me wear a dress,” Ashlyn says as she changes into her suit. While The rest of the bridesmaids are wearing different styles of dresses all in navy, Ashlyn is in a navy suit, light grey shirt, and mid grey bow tie.

 

“Please, like you would have agreed to be in the wedding if we tried to put you in a dress.”

 

“You can try mine on if you want,” Kelley teases.

 

“Hard pass,” Ashlyn laughs. She looks in the full length mirror, working to straighten her bowtie. “I don’t even know why I’m bothering, the first thing Ali will do when she sees me is fix my tie. I swear she messes it up just so she can fix it.”

 

“I do the same thing to Serv,” Alex says. “Mostly because I always get a kiss when I do it.”

 

“I think that’s why Ali does it too. It’s cute.” She gives up on her tie and goes to the table, sipping her glass of whiskey. “So you ready for marriage, Tobs?”

 

“So ready,” Tobin says. “It feels like we’re already married so it’s cool to finally make it official.”

 

When it’s almost time for the ceremony to start, everyone goes out into the hallway, where they join Christen’s bridesmaids. As Ashlyn predicted, the first thing Ali does is straighten her tie and when she’s satisfied, she rests her hands on Ashlyn’s chest and pulls her in for a kiss. “You look gorgeous, baby,” Ali says.

 

“So do you,” Ashlyn smiles. Ali’s dress fits her like a glove and the neckline shows off the cleavage breastfeeding has given her. “Your boobs look so good.”

 

“Thanks,” Ali laughs. “Usually you’re complimenting my ass.”

 

“Turn around and let me see.”

 

Ali does a little twirl for Ashlyn, who looks her wife up and down. “Yeah, your ass looks great too.”

 

“You’re gonna miss my boobs when I’m done breastfeeding, aren’t you?”

 

Ashlyn shrugs, a smirk playing on her lips. “Not really. I’ll actually get to play with them again.”

 

“And it’ll be nice when I don’t have to do things like pump while wearing a bridesmaids dress,” Ali says. “I gave Heather a bunch of tips when we got our nails done yesterday.

 

Ashlyn looks behind them to where Heather is paired with Whitney to walk down the aisle. They know the struggles she and Dave faced to have a baby and ever since they shared the news of the baby, Heather has seemed happier than ever. “You look great, Heather,” Ashlyn says. “I can’t wait to have another baby in our squad.”

 

“Thanks, Ash,” Heather grins. “We’ll have lots of playdates whenever I can get down to Orlando and when you come up to North Carolina.”

 

“I want in on this,” Whitney says.

 

“You and Ryan should have a baby,” Ali says. “We hardly have any mom friends so we either need to make friends with kids or you guys gotta step up.”

 

“Yeah, we basically have Syd and Dom and my cousin and his wife,” Ashlyn says.

 

“Ugh, I would but you know how law school is. It’s draining enough as it is without pregnancy and then a baby. Once I’m settled in my career, though, we’ll probably have that conversation. Besides, he still needs to put a ring on it.”

 

Before anyone can say anything more, the wedding planner gets everyone’s attention. They’re about to start so she needs everyone facing forward and ready to walk down the aisle. Ashlyn links arms with Ali, smiling at her wife the entire time. “You’re beautiful, baby,” she whispers just as the music starts.

 

The ceremony is short and sweet and when it’s over, all the bridesmaids and close family join the brides for photos while the rest of the guests go to the hotel, where the reception will be hosted. Dinner begins as soon as the wedding party gets to the reception space and after that, Ashlyn is ready to dance. As the first song begins, she takes Ali’s hand and leads her out to the dance floor. Both women are decently tipsy after drinking all day and they’re child-free for the first time in they don’t even know how long so they’re ready to let loose.

 

“Did I tell you how hot you look tonight?” Ali asks, swaying her hips to the music.

 

“Multiple times, yes,” Ashlyn grins.

 

“Just making sure.”

 

Ali turns around and grinds her ass against Ashlyn’s front. Ashlyn’s hands roam Ali’s body a little before settling onto her hips. They don’t get too heated but since they never get out much anymore, Ashlyn definitely feels the desire stirring in her belly. After the first few songs, they decide to get a drink, both opting for shots so they don’t have to be away from the dance floor for too long.

 

“God, I forgot how that shit tastes,” Ali says, putting her shot glass back on the bar. “I think that’s the first liquor I’ve had since before the babies.”

 

“We really do need to get out more,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

They dance a little while longer, both by themselves and with their friends. After about an hour, Ali folds herself into Ashlyn’s arms for a slow song. “Can we go to our room?” she asks.

 

“You tired? Or do you have to pump?”

 

Ali shakes her head and leans close to whisper in Ashlyn’s ear. “I just want to be alone with you. You know how I get when I’ve been drinking.”

 

“Believe me, I know,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

Although Ashlyn was enjoying dancing with her wife, there’s no way she can deny this request. She’s never been able to deny Ali before and now that their chances are limited with two one year olds at home, she’s almost as eager as Ali is to get some alone time. “So you just want to cuddle and chat?” she teases once they’re in their room.

 

“Very funny,” Ali says. She reaches out to undo Ashlyn’s bow tie, discarding it on the ground. When the tie is on the floor, she tries to work the buttons on Ashlyn’s shirt but she’s a little too drunk and fumbles with them until Ashlyn finally helps.

 

“You didn’t even drink that much,” Ashlyn says.

 

“I know,” Ali whines. “I’m a lightweight now.”

 

Ashlyn shrugs out of her suit jacket and shirt, prompting Ali to run her hands all over her bare abdomen. “So hot, baby. I love your body.”

 

Ashlyn grins as she reaches behind Ali’s back to unzip her dress. Both women let the dress fall to the floor, the fabric pooling around Ali’s feet until she drags Ashlyn towards the bed.

 

“Someone’s eager,” Ashlyn teases.

 

“I want you, baby.”

 

Ashlyn sheds her pants to even the playing field a little and pins Ali’s arms to the bed as she kisses her. She bites kisses her way down Ali’s jaw and neck until she reaches her bare breasts. Since Ali is still nursing, she can’t bite or suck as much as she would like but she does roll her tongue over one nipple while stimulating the other with her hand, causing Ali’s back to arch off the bed.

 

“Feels so good,” Ali says. “Take your bra off too.”

 

Ashlyn complies with Ali’s request, straddling Ali’s hips as she sits up to pull her bra over her head. The position gives Ali the perfect view of Ashlyn’s breasts bouncing free of the sports bra and she can’t resist reaching up to touch them. She cups them in her hands, smiling as Ashlyn’s nipples harden against her palms. She rolls them between her fingers, eliciting a soft moan from her wife.

 

Ashlyn starts rolling her hips a little, prompting Ali to slide her hands down Ashlyn’s body. She slips one underneath the waistband of Ashlyn’s underwear and slowly begins to stroke Ashlyn with her fingers. It’s not the most comfortable position for either of them so after a minute, she stops.

 

“Hey, I was enjoying that,” Ashlyn protests. “Tease.”

 

“Relax,” Ali laughs. “Take these off,” she says, playfully snapping the band of Ashlyn’s boxers.

 

“Yours too,” Ashlyn says. She eyes Ali’s navy lace thong, which she bought specifically because it matched her dress. Ashlyn made fun of her for it at the time but it’s actually a really nice color on Ali and Ashlyn loves her in any kind of lace.

 

When they’re both bare, Ali gets Ashlyn lying on her back and kisses her deeply as she works with her fingers again. She starts slow, upping the pace and pressure every so often. When she hits a certain angle, Ashlyn moans into their kiss, which fuels Ali even more. She breaks the kiss but stays close enough that when she speaks, her lips brush against Ashlyn who instinctually tries to reconnect their lips. “You like that, baby?”

 

Ashlyn hums in response, too caught up in pleasure to use her words. As she feels her orgasm build, she closes her eyes and presses her head deeper against the pillow. She comes against Ali’s fingers, her body going rigid for a moment before relaxing completely.

 

Ali licks her fingers clean as she watches her blissed out wife catch her breath.

 

“We’ve either just has so much practice that we’re amazing at sex or it really is true that women hit their peak in their 30s,” Ashlyn says as Ali moves to lie next to her.

 

“I think it’s both.”

 

“Mmm, you’re probably right.”

 

Ashlyn moves to resume her position from earlier, swinging her leg over Ali to straddle her waist. She palms her breasts, causing Ali to wince. Ashlyn immediately moves her hands away and looks at her wife with concern on her face. “You okay?” she asks gently.

 

“They’re getting a little too full,” Ali says. “I know you love playing with them but it’s probably best to leave them alone for now.”

 

Ashlyn doesn’t try touching them again. The last thing she ever wants is to cause Ali any pain or discomfort, especially when she’s trying to pleasure her. Instead of focusing on Ali’s breasts, she focuses on kissing her way down Ali’s abdomen and doesn’t stop until she’s in between her legs. She knows Ali needs to pump soon so she keeps up a decent pace until Ali comes, moaning Ashlyn’s name.

 

“Love you,” Ali grins.

 

“Love you more.”

 

Ashlyn sits up against the headboard while Ali grabs her pump off of the night stand to alleviate the discomfort she’s feeling. If the babies were with them, she likely would have already fed them since she last pumped (they still like to nurse before they go down for their afternoon nap) but since she’s away from them, it was easy to forget about pumping until it became too painful to ignore. “Real sexy pillow talk with me pumping like this, huh?” she says.

 

“You’re sexy no matter what,” Ashlyn says, causing Ali to roll her eyes dramatically. “It’s true. You’re beautiful and even if you sitting there with breast pumps isn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, it always makes me think about how you made two babies for us and that is really sexy.”

 

“You were obsessed with me when I was pregnant.”

 

“I’m always obsessed with you but yes. It’ll be great when we have another one and we don’t have to worry the whole time. I think we’ll both get to enjoy it more.”

 

“I know I will,” Ali says.

 

When Ali finishes pumping, she carries the bags into the bathroom and dumps them down the sink. “So you think we could go back down there?” she asks when she joins Ashlyn in the main part of the room again.

 

“Probably. It’s still kind of early.”

 

Ali pulls her dress back on and grabs a clean pair of panties from her suitcase, prompting Ashlyn to get ready again as well. When they finally make it to the party again, no one seems surprised at all by their extended absence.

 

“Really, guys?” Heather laughs as Ali and Ashlyn rejoin the group. “Still pulling that stunt, huh?”

 

“Hey, we have two kids at home, we take it when we can get it,” Ali says, fresh drink already in hand. “See how it is when your baby comes then multiply that by two.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

They dance with their friends the rest of the night and after the DJ plays the last song, the brides have one more request. As he cues their final request, Tobin and Christen gather all their UNC friends in the center of the dance floor. The North Carolina fight song plays from the speakers and everyone in the circle sings along as they stand with their arms around each other.

 

No matter the distance or the changes in their lives, the friends are as close as ever and celebrate the end of the wedding by honoring the institution that brought them together.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thanks for reading :)


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the twins gets hurt, leading Ali to a surprising decision

  
  


Life with twin boys is as chaotic as Ali and Ashlyn expected. Soon enough, the long days and nights of raising two infants give way to having mobile children and both moms struggle to keep up with their energetic boys who seem to love causing trouble.

 

Although they’re identical, the twins have very different personalities with only a few similarities. Max is generally the braver of the two and is often the one to try new things first. He’s quieter compared to his brother but he’s also more temperamental, especially as they try to become more independent. 

 

Theo, always living up to the nickname Ashlyn bestowed upon him at birth, is more affectionate and social than his brother. He loves cuddling, particularly with his moms and twin brother. He’s the more emotional of the two but even when Ali and Ashlyn struggle to soothe him, his twin’s presence never fails to calm him. Just like when he got worked up when he and Max were placed in separate hospital bassinets, Theo always seems calmer and happier with Max by his side. 

 

Full of rambunctious energy, both boys need to be watched at all times so, really, it shouldn’t be surprising that the one time Ali takes her eyes off of them, she hears a crash. She’s emptying the dishwasher in the kitchen while two and a half year old Max and Theo play in the living room. The floor plan of their home is completely open so it’s not uncommon for her and Ashlyn to do tasks in the kitchen while keeping an eye on the boys in the living room. The crash, followed by a shrill scream, happens during the few seconds Ali has her back to them to put plates away. 

 

She immediately runs out into the living room to find Max standing on the arm of the couch and Theo lying on the hardwood floor beneath him, sobbing as he clutches his arm. They’re both wearing their superhero capes so it doesn’t take Ali long to figure out what they were doing. 

 

“What happened?” she asks, her tone gentle enough to be meant for injured Theo and firm enough to be meant for Max who, based on the guilty look on his face, seems to be the culprit behind the fall. 

 

“Pushed me,” Theo chokes out between his sobs. He’s still clutching his arm and it only takes a glance from Ali to know that it’s broken. 

 

Ali lifts Theo off of the ground and settles him onto her hip, careful to avoid hurting his arm anymore than it already is. “Max,” she begins, attempting to control her anger, “did you push your brother off of the couch?”

 

Max nods slowly. Even at two he knows it’s no use lying to his mothers, especially Ali. 

 

“Why did you do that?” Ali demands. She holds her injured son tight to her chest in an attempt to calm the little boy. 

 

“Superman fly,” Max mumbles, not meeting Ali’s eyes. 

 

“We will discuss this later,” Ali says. “We have to take Teddy to the hospital.” 

 

Getting the boys into the car is hard enough as it is without an injured, clingy Theo refusing to leave Ali’s arms. “Baby,” she says softly, “we have to put you in your car seat so a doctor can fix your arm, okay?”

 

“Mommy hold me,” Theo cries, using his good arm to cling to Ali’s neck. 

 

“I will later, baby, I promise.”

 

After another five minutes of soothing and bribing Theo with a pack of gushers (the boys’ favorite treat and a sure fire way to get them to comply) from Ali’s purse, the three of them are on the road to the hospital. Once they’re moving, Ali calls Ashlyn over the car speakers. Ashlyn is in Utah this weekend for the Pride’s game against the Royals. Ali wishes she was here to help her deal with this trip to the emergency room.

 

“Hey, babe,” Ashlyn greets. “Everything okay?” 

 

“Uhhh, not really,” Ali laughs. “Long story short, Theo broke his arm playing superheroes. Your other son pushed him because apparently he wasn’t moving quickly enough for him. I wish you were here to help me handle this.” She pauses for a second as she chews on her bottom lip. Sure, the kids have had injuries before but it’s never been anything a bandaid and a little extra loving couldn’t fix. This is totally uncharted territory for them. “I just—I took my eyes off of them for two seconds and now sweet Theo is hurt. I should have been watching them better.”

 

“Hey,” Ashlyn says gently. “These things happen. Honestly, we’re probably lucky that we’ve lasted this long with twin boys before one of them broke something. It’ll all be okay.” 

 

Ali takes a deep, calming breath. In the back of her mind, she knew that something like this was bound to happen eventually but that didn’t make it any less heartbreaking to see her son sobbing on the ground with a broken arm. As their mother, she is supposed to protect them from harm and knowing that this happened on her watch has been eating away at her since it happened. Hearing Ashlyn’s reassurances does wonders to relax her mind.

 

“Do you want me to fly back after the game tonight instead of tomorrow afternoon?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“No, I think we’ll be okay. We’ll call you later and see you when you get back home.” 

 

“Got it. Give my baby a kiss for me.” 

 

“Will do,” Ali promises. “We’re here now, I gotta go.” 

 

Theo eagerly climbs into Ali’s arms when she helps him out of his car seat so she carries him inside while Max holds Ali’s hand as he walks next to them. He’s been quieter than normal and based on the fact that she saw him holding Theo’s good hand during the ride to the hospital, she knows he feels guilty. 

 

Since Theo’s injury is relatively minor compared to some of the other people in the waiting room, they have to wait for a little while before a doctor finally calls them back. In the meantime, Ali holds Theo on her lap while she quietly lectures Max about his actions. 

 

“Sorry, Mommy,” Max says. He too climbs onto Ali’s lap so she adjusts Theo a little to hold both boys in her arms. 

 

“I’m not the one you need to say sorry to.” 

 

“Sorry,” Max says, looking at his brother. He moves to hug Theo but momentarily forgets about his arm and nearly ends up bumping it which pushes the injured boy to tears again. 

 

There’s another mom and crying child sitting in the row of chairs across from them so Ali and the other mom share a knowing, sympathetic glance as they each try to comfort their injured kids. 

 

Luckily, they’re called back a few seconds later so Ali has Max walk by her side again as she greets the doctor. As suspected, Theo’s arm is broken but the doctor assures Ali that it’s a fairly clean break and there was no damage to the young boy’s growth plates, which is a big relief to Ali. When it comes time to pick a cast color, Theo picks purple. He loves going to his mama’s soccer games and pretty much every time he’s given a choice for colors, he chooses purple. 

 

“That’s my brave boy,” Ali coos once the cast is on. She takes Theo into her arms, kissing his cheek over and over again. 

 

“He was very brave,” the doctor agrees. “I think a brave boy like that has earned a sticker.” He moves to grab a small wire basket on the counter that’s filled with stickers and offers it to the little boy for him to search through. 

 

“Max too?” Theo asks, glancing between both adults for permission. 

 

“Of course,” the doctor smiles. “We can’t leave him out.” 

 

Both boys select stickers (superheroes, of course) and excitedly stick them onto each other while Ali and the doctor finish up. Theo’s sticker goes right onto his cast, which he proudly shows off to Ali and the doctor. 

 

“Looking good, bud,” Ali says. It’s still hard to see her little boy in a cast but seeing him smiling and proudly showing off his cast is a big improvement over the tears and clinginess of an hour ago. 

 

When they arrive back home, the twins run off to play together like nothing ever happened. While it makes Ali happy to see that Max has bounced back so quickly, it makes her a little sad that the twins are so independent now. She's not sure why but the entire incident has roused her desire to have another baby, to feel completely needed once again. 

 

She and Ashlyn have recently started considering expanding their family one more time but they’d put it off for a bit because their lives are so hectic with twin boys and both of their careers. The twins are nearly three now and become more and more independent every day and while they have debated back and forth on whether or not they should have another baby, it’s now painfully clear to Ali that she wants another baby. 

 

They run through their normal nighttime routine that night, the only change being the plastic wrap on Theo’s cast to protect it from getting wet in the bath. When Ali video chats with Ashlyn that night, she smiles sweetly as she studies her wife’s face. 

 

“I want another baby,” Ali blurts. 

 

“Wait a second,” Ashlyn laughs as she looks at her wife. “You made a trip to the hospital today because our kid has a broken arm thanks to our other kid and now you want to add to that chaos? Most people would have the opposite response to that.” 

 

Ali laughs at Ashlyn’s words. “I don’t understand it either,” she replies. She holds Ashlyn’s gaze, gently toying with her wedding ring. “But, I don’t know, I want another one. As soon as his cast was on it was like he didn’t need me anymore.” 

 

“They’ll always need us.” 

 

“I know,” Ali replies, smiling softly. “But I miss having a baby and I know you do too. I really want a girl and we’ve always talked about having three or four kids so why not now? We’re not getting any younger.” 

 

“No, definitely not,” Ashlyn chuckles. She meets Ali’s eyes and if she wasn’t already on board, the hopeful excitement in her wife’s eyes would be enough to convince her. Although Ali has been the one leading the charge on wanting a girl, it's something Ashlyn desperately wants as well. “There’s always the chance we’ll end up with another boy.” 

 

“I would be fine with that,” Ali assures. “I know it’ll be chaotic but there will never be an easy time to have another baby when we already have our two little hellions. I think we’re as ready as we can be. Plus, the boys are almost three and I want them all to be close in age.” 

 

Ashlyn agrees with everything Ali said and just like that, they agree that they’ll work on expanding their family. They table the discussion until Ashlyn gets home the next afternoon and after spending the day loving on her family, Ashlyn brings up the topic again. 

 

“So tomorrow we should call to schedule an appointment with the fertility doctor, right? Get them monitoring your ovulation and things like that?” 

 

“Well,” Ali begins, facing her wife, “I wanted to talk to you about that.” 

 

“Oh, yeah?” Ashlyn asks, her eyebrows quirked. “Why?” 

 

“I want to carry your baby.” 

 

Ashlyn takes a moment to process what Ali has just said. Reciprocal IVF is something they considered before they had the twins but they ultimately decided against it. She didn’t really think it would come back up again because she assumed that they would continue with what they know works. “You do?” 

 

Ali nods, biting her bottom lip a little. “I just, I don’t know, you always talk about how much you love seeing how much the boys look like me and now I want to have a baby that looks like you.” 

 

“But the boys are so cute. Why mess with a good thing?” 

 

“Because you have my third favorite face in the world and I want us to pass down those genes too.” 

 

“Wait,” Ashlyn says. “Third favorite face? Why not second favorite? The boys are identical, they have the same face.” 

 

Ali shakes her head in amusement. Of course out of everything she just said, Ashlyn gets hung up on this one comment. “Are you trying to out lawyer me?” she laughs. 

 

“Yes.”

 

“Fine, you have my second favorite face,” Ali says, gently cupping Ashlyn’s cheek. “Happy?” she relents. She knows that if she didn’t concede this point, they’re both so competitive that they would have argued this topic until they forgot all about what they’re supposed to be discussing. 

 

Ashlyn sighs dramatically, eliciting an eye roll from her wife. “I guess. I used to be your first favorite face, you know.” 

 

“I know, honey,” Ali says with mock sympathy. “And that’s why I want a baby with your face. Pass down those great cheekbones and your dimple.” 

 

“You don’t worry that the kids would feel like half siblings or anything? We obviously wouldn’t treat any of them different than the others but how are they gonna feel?” 

 

“I think they’ll never know any different, honestly. They’ll be raised in the same house by the same people so as far as I’m concerned, they’ll be just like me and Kyle and you and Chris. And if anyone ever tries to make them feel like they’re not full siblings just because they don’t share all of their DNA, I will personally drag that person to hell and back.” 

 

“You’re hot when you’re protective,” Ashlyn says. She tries to kiss Ali, who gives in briefly before pulling away.

 

“Can we focus please?” Ali laughs. Ashlyn keeps derailing this conversation and she just wants to know if she’s on board with this plan. “What do you think about doing reciprocal IVF? We don’t have to if you don’t want.” 

 

“Is it important to you?” 

 

Ali nods.

 

“Then it’s important to me too.” 

 

~

 

Since they plan to move forward with Ali carrying Ashlyn’s egg, they have to wait to start the process until after the soccer season is over. Ashlyn can’t train or play while on the medication to stimulate her ovaries so they have to wait. 

 

The season ends just a few weeks after the twins’ third birthday in September and the very same night of her last game for the year, Ashlyn starts the shots for egg retrieval. It’s not a glamorous process by any means but as long as she doesn’t have to actually carry a baby, she’s happy. 

 

In the end, they fertilize enough of Ashlyn’s eggs for nine rounds of IVF. Since they already have twins, they’re cautious and only transfer one at a time. This, or course, lowers their chances for their transfers to be successful so both women are aware that it might take a little longer to get pregnant than it would for couples that transfer two embryos at a time. They go through five months of transfers before they finally get a positive pregnancy test, much to their delight. 

 

Although it wasn’t as important to use this method to Ashlyn as it was to Ali, the more the news sinks in that Ali is pregnant with her baby, the more pride she feels. “Wow,” she grins. “Wow.” 

 

“Excited?” Ali asks. 

 

“More than I could ever put into words. We need to tell the boys.”

 

“I can’t believe they’re gonna be big brothers,” Ali says. 

 

They decide to tell the boys about the new baby when they’re all gathered in the living room for family movie night. It’s a day the boys always look forward to and they know that it’s the perfect time to announce that there will be another baby. Max and Theo are in their sleeping bags on the floor while Ali and Ashlyn are cuddled together on the couch. 

 

They intentionally picked a movie about a family welcoming a new baby so before they start the movie, they decide to have the big discussion. 

 

“Hey, boys,” Ashlyn says, getting their attention. “Mommy and I wanted to talk to you about something before we start the movie.” 

 

“This is an extra special movie,” Ali says. “It’s about a family and they have a new baby. You know why it’s special?” 

 

“Why?” Theo asks. 

 

“It’s special because we’re gonna have a new baby in our family,” Ashlyn finishes. “Mommy is pregnant.” Although they'll go more in depth with their friends and other family members, they decided to keep the announcement as simple as possible with the twins. They wouldn’t understand the difference either way and it didn’t feel like something that was important to announce to them. 

 

“Is it a brother?” Max asks excitedly. “I like brothers.”

 

“We don’t know yet,” Ashlyn replies, smiling at the excited three year old. “Mommy and I are kind of hoping it’s a girl but we’ll be happy either way.”

 

Max thinks for a moment. “Then I hope it’s a girl too,” he declares. 

 

“Me too,” Theo says.

 

It’s unsurprising to Ashlyn that Max would change his mind about wanting upon learning that they want a girl but it still warms her heart. Both twins are extremely caring and she knows this baby is lucky to have such awesome big brothers to help guide them through life. 

 

“My sweet boys,” Ali says, smiling at the twins. “You’re going to be great big brothers.” 

 

~

 

Ali is not sure why but both she and Ashlyn are convinced they’re having another boy so when they finally find out that they’re actually having a girl, they look at each other in shock. 

 

“Are you serious? You’re not messing with us?” Ali asks as she turns her attention back to doctor Guerrero. 

 

Doctor Guerrero laughs. “I would never mess with you like that, especially knowing how badly you two want a girl.” She turns to the keyboard on the cart next to her and types ‘it’s a girl!’ on the sonogram photos and prints out a few copies for the excited moms. 

 

“We’re getting our girl,” Ali says, holding back tears as they look at the photos of their baby girl. She’ll be joining the family in just twenty weeks and while there’s still so much to get ready she can’t wait to hold their daughter. She loves their boys more than anything but she looks forward to having another feminine presence in the house. 

 

~

 

Twenty-one weeks later, baby Piper joins the family. The pregnancy couldn’t have been more different from the previous one, right down to Piper arriving after her due date. She comes just two weeks before Christmas and as they hold their daughter for the first time, Ali smiles at Ashlyn. “Sorry I didn’t wrap your Christmas present,” she jokes. 

 

“What’s the return policy on one of these?” 

 

“Sorry, didn’t get a receipt. I think we’re stuck with her.” 

 

“Somehow I think we’ll survive,” Ashlyn says. “Can I hold her?” 

 

Ashlyn passes the baby to Ashlyn, who starts to get emotional as she stares at her daughter’s face. She sees so many of her own features all on this tiny, perfect face. She’s never been the most confident in her looks, always finding something to pick apart but seeing those same features on her daughter’s face already has her feeling more confident. Tears well in her eyes and Ali rubs gentle circles on her back. 

 

“She’s perfect, Al. Thank you.” 

 

“See? We both make beautiful babies.” 

 

They enjoy quiet time with the new baby for an hour before Ashlyn finally goes to the waiting room to bring the boys to meet their baby sister. Theo, always the more cautious one, clings to Ashlyn as they enter the room while Max runs right up to Ali and Piper. 

 

“This is Piper, your baby sister,” Ali says, holding up the baby so the twins can see. 

 

“Hi, baby,” Max greets. “She’s little.” 

 

“She’s very little,” Ali smiles. “When you and Theo were born, you were even smaller. Can you believe that?” 

 

“We’re big boys now,” Max declares. 

 

“Yes you are,” Ali says. She helps him climb onto the bed and presses a kiss to his dark hair while Ashlyn carries Theo over. He’s still clinging to her and won’t let her put him down on the bed so she sits down with him in her arms. 

 

“Who do you think the baby looks like?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

The boys take a moment to think before Max speaks. “Loki,” he says. 

 

“Loki?” Ali asks while Ashlyn stifles a laugh. “Why does she look like Loki?”

 

“Loki is cute and she’s cute.” 

 

“Solid logic, bud,” Ashlyn says as she shares an amused look with Ali.

 

~

 

By Christmas, Piper has already settled into life with her big big brothers. She’s only been home for ten days and already seems completely unperturbed by her loud, overbearing big brothers. She’s so laid back despite the crazy environment that Ali seriously wonders if there might be something wrong with her hearing. By far their most relaxed child, Piper is more than content to sleep in her swing while chaos unfolds around her. Even her cries reflect her quiet, content nature as they’re so quiet Ali and Ashlyn often have a hard time hearing her. 

 

“You keep Mommy sane, don’t you,” Ali coos as she holds Piper while opening Christmas presents. Max and Theo are extra hyper this morning and although she loves seeing them so excited, she’s exhausted after giving birth less than two weeks ago. 

 

“You need to take a nap?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“No, I’m okay for right now.”

 

Ashlyn nods and goes back to her task of passing out presents. It’s been a while since they’ve done one for Piper so she finds one with her name on it. “Max, this is for your sister. Can you open it and show her what it is?” 

 

Max takes on this job gladly and tears into the wrapping paper. He tosses the paper aside and holds up a fleece sleepsack for his sister to see. 

 

“I think she likes it,” Ali says. 

 

Not to be outdone, Theo speaks up. “My turn, my turn.” 

 

“You want to open one of your presents or one of Piper’s?” Ashlyn asks

 

“Piper’s.” 

 

Ashlyn easily locates a present for Piper at the top of the pile. Since they didn’t officially decide on a name until after she was born, most of her presents were wrapped after her birth and ended up on top. She gives one to Theo, who tears into the paper to find a stuffed elephant. 

 

“Ohh, an elephant for Piper,” Ali says, playing up the excitement. “Thanks, boys, you’re both great helpers with your baby sister.” 

 

The twins both grin at the compliment and turn their attention back to the presents under the tree, eager to open another one of their presents. 

 

The morning passes in a blur of opening presents and cleaning up messes of wrapping paper. Max and Theo try out all of their new toys and although the noise level stays higher than normal throughout the day, Piper sleeps peacefully through it all. 

 

~

 

“Your brothers are crazy,” Ali whispers one day as she changes Piper’s diaper. 

 

Piper is nine months old and she’s as laid back and happy as ever. Max and Theo were absolute menaces that morning and tried to flush an entire roll of toilet paper, causing the toilet to clog and overflow. Then when it was time for them to go down for a nap, both boys threw massive temper tantrums and only fell asleep when they’d worn themselves out. When the boys finally fell asleep and Ali felt like pulling her hair out, there was Piper smiling away in her playpen and Ali relaxed instantly at their easy going, quiet baby. “How about we take a nap before Mama gets home from practice and the boys wake up? Then there really won’t be any quiet.” 

 

Piper babbles what Ali takes to be a positive response. 

 

Ali works quickly to get the baby into a fresh diaper. She snaps the bottom of her onesie and pulls her leggings back up before lifting her off of the changing table and carrying her down the hall to the master bedroom. She pauses for a moment as she passes Max and Theo’s room, listening carefully for any sign that they’ve woken up. When she’s met with only silence, she breathes a sigh of relief and continues her way down the hall with Piper on her hip. As she passes the family photos hanging in the hallway, Piper points to the frames. 

 

Piper seems particularly interested in a photo of Ali and Ashlyn from the day they got engaged. It was taken by Kyle just as Ashlyn got down on one knee and presented Ali with the ring. Excitement is evident on both of their faces and it’s one of Ali’s all time favorite photos. Piper reaches a hand out, touching the glass covering her moms’ smiling faces. 

 

“Who is that?” Ali asks. “Is that Mommy and Mama?” 

 

“Mama,” Piper repeats as she turns her attention away from the picture to look at Ali. 

 

Ali’s face lights up in a smile as she looks at her daughter in awe. It’s Piper’s first word and Ali can’t believe just how fast her little girl is growing and learning. It actually took her by surprise because the twins seemed to have a language all of their own and didn’t say anything discernible until eleven months. “Good girl,” Ali coos. She kisses the top of Piper’s head and breathes in the baby scent that she loves so much. “That’s me and Mama when we got engaged.” 

 

Ali takes another step closer to the bedroom and pauses at a photo of the whole family from their most recent professional photos, taken when Piper was just three months old. “Can you say Mama?” Ali encourages as she points to herself and Ashlyn in the photo. 

 

“Mama,” Piper repeats, grinning at how excited her mom is. 

 

“You are so smart,” Ali encourages. She turns back to the photo hanging on the wall. “And there’s Max and Theo.” She points to each boy as she says their names. “You’re a little outnumbered, little lady, but don’t worry because you have two mommies so it all evens out.”

 

She continues down the hall, finally swinging her and Ashlyn’s bedroom door open. After all the stress and chaos of the morning, she and Piper fall asleep almost as soon as they’re snuggled in bed. They must sleep for hours because Ali doesn’t wake up until she hears Ashlyn arrive home. Just a few minutes later, Ashlyn slowly opens the door and tiptoes into the room. 

 

“It’s okay, I’m awake,” Ali says. Piper is slowly starting to wake up too so Ali presses a gentle kiss to her cheek as Ashlyn changes her clothes. 

 

When Ashlyn is changed into a fresh t-shirt and joggers, she joins Ali and Piper in bed, giving each one a kiss. “How was your day?” 

 

“Your sons were nightmares,” Ali notes. “Oh, but watch this,” she says. She shifts so both she and Piper are sitting together. “Pipes, can you say Mama?” 

 

“Mama,” Piper repeats with a grin. 

 

“Look at you,” Ashlyn coos. She takes the nine month old into her arms a gives her a big, noisy kiss. “When did that happen?” 

 

“Just before we took our nap. We were looking at the pictures in the hallway and she repeated it when I showed her the picture from our engagement.” 

 

“Big girl,” Ashlyn grins. “Did you help mommy deal with your brothers this morning, huh? I heard they were off the walls.” 

 

Piper babbles her response, grinning as Ashlyn holds her in the air like she’s flying. 

 

“So are you ready to go to work tomorrow?” Ashlyn asks, looking at her wife as she continues playing with Piper. “Since the boys were out of control, I mean.” 

 

Ali shrugs as she considers the question. They’re about to start working on a big case which will require longer hours and as much as she loves her job, she’s starting to hate the long, difficult days. As much as the kids drive her crazy sometimes, she knows they’re only young for a short period of time and she wants more time at home with them. “Not really,” she says. “I kind of want to maybe look into going part-time. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently because I want to be home more. At least while the kids are young.”

 

“I think the kids would love that, if that’s what you want to do. You can always go back to full time when the kids are all in school.”

 

“Exactly. I still love what I do but I love the kids more.” 

 

It’s something she’s thought about for months now and she’s never been able to make up her mind. With Ashlyn’s support, though, she realizes that this is the best decision for them and their family. The profession will always be there but the kids won’t be little forever and she wants all the time with them she can get, even when they drive her up the wall. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone still enjoying these? I have three left after this but tbh I almost decided to leave it with the last one I posted ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ of course if you're still reading and enjoying I'll get the last few up


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ashlyn makes a grand gesture. ali isn't too pleased

 

For years, Ali maintains that she will never drive a minivan. No matter how many kids she and Ashlyn have, she plans to make an SUV work for their family and lifestyle. Even with twins from the start, which proves to be more cumbersome in an SUV than she ever thought, she’s still not ready to make the switch to a van. When she gets pregnant with Piper, however, it becomes increasingly clear that she needs to consider her longtime stance on minivans.

 

The family has just returned home from a weekend stay with family in Ashlyn’s hometown. After helping the twins out of the car (it sits a little too high for the three year olds to get out themselves), Ali and Ashlyn turn to the task of unloading the cramped car. The trunk space is so lacking that they had to store items underneath the twins’ feet and since they need the doors open all the way to unload, they can’t pull into the garage next to Ashlyn’s car until they’re done.

 

“Ugh, we need a van,” Ali grumbles as she struggles to unload everything from the back seat. It’s an off the cuff comment, made out of frustration more than anything else and after Ashlyn mutters an agreement, Ali doesn’t think anything else of it.

 

Ashlyn, however, thinks about the comment all night. The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes just how practical a van would be for their growing family. To start, neither of them has third row seating in their current vehicles so when the new baby arrives in five months, it’ll be impossibly tight with two car seats and an infant seat in a single row.

 

Ali falls asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow and while she sleeps, Ashlyn researches vans. Almost any model would make their lives easier with two kids and another on the way but there are some styles she likes more than other.

 

Hours pass and, eventually, some of the models blur together but as she finally goes to sleep well after midnight (a rarity now), she has one thought on her mind. She’s going to surprise Ali.

 

Nearly fifteen years after they first met, Ashlyn loves a grand gesture now as much as ever. Between work, raising twins, and making their third baby, Ali doesn’t have the time nor energy to worry about something like this and Ashlyn loves doing anything that will make Ali’s life easier.

 

In the morning, Ali heads off to work and as soon as she’s gone for the day, Ashlyn gets the kids ready to go look at vans. They go to a couple of dealerships first but she saves her favorite model for last. It’s not the best looking car by any means (it’s still a van) but it’s certainly nice and even the twins seem excited when they take a look inside.

 

The objects of their affection are the screens on the back of the front headrests, which the salesperson says can be used to watch movies, shows, or even play games using the wifi capabilities of the vehicle.

 

“It’ll certainly keep them busy on road trips,” Ashlyn says as the boys poke around on the screens.

 

There are more practical features that Ashlyn could’ve ever imagined. To start, there’s a third row with three seats and the middle row can be configured different ways to fit their needs. The passenger side bucket seat can slide towards the middle row of the vehicle to sit right next to the driver side seat. The salesperson explains that this configuration makes it easier to access the back row of seats, which Ashlyn knows will come in handy when the new baby comes and one or both of the twins moves to the back. With the seat in its original position, there is a third seat stored in the floor that can easily be pulled up to accommodate an extra passenger for a total seating capacity of eight.

 

It’s exactly what they need for their growing family.

 

“What do you think?” She asks the twins as they sit in the middle row. “Should we get it?”

 

“Yeah,” Max exclaims, excitedly jumping from his seat into Ashlyn’s arms. Ashlyn’s reflexes kick in at the unexpected movement and she catches the boy easily, holding him in her arms.

 

“What do you think, Teddy?” She asks, looking at Theo in the far seat. “Do you like it?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Do you have it available in black?” She asks, turning to the salesperson.

 

“Of course,” the salesperson smiles. He takes them to the parking lot to show Ashlyn the black version of the van. It’s certainly still a van but it’s much more their style than the red model and she knows this is the one Ali would pick for herself.

 

“Would we be able to take it for a test drive? I’d have to put the car seats in.”

 

The salesperson assures her it’s not a problem and while he goes to get the keys, she gets the twins’ car seats from her jeep. The ride is smooth and even though it feels like she’s driving a bus, it’s surprisingly easy to maneuver. If there were any doubts in her mind, they’d be gone and before they even make it back to the dealership, they start discussing pricing.

 

Ashlyn signs a three year lease and after calling in some help from Syd and Dom to get her jeep home, she gets the boys and their carseats into the van for the short drive home. She takes a slightly longer way home and when she pulls into the driveway, Dom has already parked the Jeep in the garage with Syd waiting in their own car on Ali’s side of the driveway. Ashlyn pulls into the driveway behind her Jeep and smiles as the boys easily get out of the car themselves.

 

“Thanks, guys, I owe you,” she says, hugging Syd and Dom goodbye. “Ali is going to love it.”

 

~

 

Ali arrives home after a long day of work, craving a glass of wine that she can’t have. When she pulls onto their street, she sees an extra car in the driveway and groans at the thought of having company over tonight. Dreading the thought of entertaining guests, she walks in the door and finds Ashlyn making dinner with soft music playing from her phone.

 

“Hey, babe, who’s here?”

 

“Huh?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“There’s another car in the driveway. Do we have company?”

 

“Oh, that,” Ashlyn grins as she turns around to face her wife. “Surprise.”

 

Ali narrows her eyes in confusion. “Seriously, who’s here?”

 

“No one. That’s the surprise. I got a van. Well, we got a van, technically.”

 

“You did what?” Ali asks, incredulous.

 

“Well yesterday you said we need a van and the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much easier it would be for us. So I did a little research and went to pick one out today. It’s really nice, want to go check it out?”

 

“Sorry, I must be going crazy because I could swear that you just said that you purchased a car without my input.”

 

“Leased a car,” Ashlyn says as she quickly comes to the realization that her plan backfired. “Are you mad? I thought it would be a nice surprise.”

 

“No, no, I’m not mad,” Ali says with a tone that contradicts her words. She pours herself a glass of water, wishing now more than ever that she could have a glass (or a bottle) of wine. “Of course I’m not mad. I mean, why would I be mad that my wife made such a big decision without me. Who could be mad about coming home to a $40,000 purchase without having any say in the matter.”

 

“You said you wanted a van,” Ashlyn reasons as she tries her hardest not to get too defensive and set Ali off even more.

 

“It was just a comment. We’ve seen cute pictures of other dogs and said we should get them but that doesn’t mean we’re getting a second dog. It was just talk. You did not seriously think this would make me happy, did you?”

 

“Of course I thought it would make you happy, why else would I have done it? I really didn’t think it would be an issue.”

 

“Well then that’s the problem right there, you didn’t think. Let’s try to figure out what else you didn’t think about, shall we? Did you look at reviews? Other options? Or, hey, how about this one: did you think about the fact that I still have a year left on my lease and you have two? Did you think about how we might get out of those leases so we don’t have three car payments? I’d bet our savings that you didn’t consider the leases but if I did that, we wouldn’t have money to pay for the damn thing.”

 

“Jesus fucking christ, Ali, do you think I’m fucking stupid or something?” Ashlyn says, all of her earlier composure long gone. She watches in horror as Ali’s eyes immediately fill with tears at her harsh words and tone.    

 

“Don’t swear at me like that,” Ali says, voice wavering. “It’s been a long day this is the last thing I need.”

 

“That’s exactly why I did this,” Ashlyn says. “So you wouldn’t have to stress. But no, you get to come in here and berate me for trying to do something nice and helpful and then you get upset when I fight back. I can never win when you’re like that.”

 

“You better watch it,” Ali warns. “Don’t you even think about using my emotions against me because in case you forgot, it’s hard to control them when I’m four months pregnant.”  She takes a seat at the island, dropping her head into her hands.

 

“Again, one of the reasons I did this. What are we going to do with our cars in five months, huh? Stick three car seats in a single row? That’s not even possible so what should we do? Drive both of our cars places? Super efficient. Maybe you should think about that while you yell at me for not considering our current leases, which I did think about, by the way. Contrary to what you believe, you’re not the only one capable of making an adult decision in this house.”

 

“Stop,” Ali snaps. “You don’t need to be so mean.”

 

“Me?” Ashlyn asks, eyes going wide. “I’m the one that’s being mean? Incredible, truly incredible.”

 

Neither woman says anything more as Theo comes into the kitchen, looking a little scared after all the yelling. His moms might bicker from time to time and get into playful spats but it’s rare for them to actually yell and he approaches the situation with caution. “Mama, I’m hungry,” he says quietly.

 

“I know, baby, dinner is almost ready,” Ashlyn assures. “Why don’t you and Max go wash your hands, okay?”

 

Theo disappears back to the room he shares with Max while Ashlyn finishes making the spaghetti and meatballs and cheesy garlic bread for dinner. As she moves about the kitchen cooking and setting the table, Ali merely sits at the island with her head in her hands, offering no help. A large part of Ashlyn wants to make a sarcastic comment thanking her for all the help getting dinner ready but she’s already in the doghouse and doesn’t want to make it worse. Instead, she doesn’t say a word, brushing around Ali without so much as a glance.

 

Dinner is tense and would be silent if it weren’t for the twins. Ali and Ashlyn both talk to them as normally as possible but hardly acknowledge the other. The boys go off to their room to play after dinner, leaving Ali and Ashlyn alone in the kitchen.

 

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel stupid,” Ali says softly as she passes dirty dishes to Ashlyn who is standing at the sink rinsing and loading into the dishwasher. “You know I’d never do that.”

 

“Could’ve fooled me.”

 

“Don’t do that,” Ali snaps. “God, I’m trying to talk to you and you have to be a jerk.”

 

“Guess that’s just who I am, then. A moron who doesn’t say or do anything right.”

 

Ali lets out a cold laugh, shaking her head. “You’re insufferable. I’m going to give the boys a bath.”

 

“Fine,” Ashlyn says without emotion.

 

Ashlyn takes her time cleaning up the mess from dinner. Ali, meanwhile, gives the twins a bubble bath in effort to keep them calm and relaxed.

 

“How was your day, buddies?”

 

“We got a new car,” Max exclaims, blissfully unaware that the subject is what his moms were fighting about.

 

“I saw that,” Ali says.

 

“Mommy, do you and Mama still like each other?” Theo asks. His brown eyes are wide and innocent and Ali can see a little worry in them. It pains her that she’s partially to blame.

 

“Of course, baby. Sometimes people fight but we still like each other. You and Maxy fight over toys sometimes but you still love each other, right?”

 

This explanation works wonders to ease the sensitive boy’s mind. It’s enough to make him forget all about the subject and her starts playing with the bubbles with Max without a care in the world.

 

Partially because the boys are enjoying themselves and partially because this is the happiest Ali has felt all day, she lets them play in the bath for longer than normal as she sits by and watches. Soon enough, though, her back starts to hurt from sitting on the little stool for so long and she has to make the boys get out of the tub. With no sign of her wife, she gets the boys ready for bed alone, Ashlyn finally appearing when it’s time to put them to bed for the night.

 

Their own nighttime routine is painfully silent, neither woman saying a word until after Ali is already settled in bed.

 

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” Ashlyn asks.

 

“No, it’s fine.”

 

Ashlyn slides into bed next to her wife and leaves an unusually large space between them. She knows better than to try to get to the bottom of the issue tonight so she’s quiet. They’re both far too wound up to have a rational discussion and she hopes that maybe things will be easier in the morning. With a quick kiss to Ali’s cheek, she rolls back over to her side of the bed. “Night, love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

~

 

Ali doesn’t sleep well at all. She hates fighting with Ashlyn and this was a doozy. Her stomach feels like it’s in knots, the anxiety keeping her awake most of the night. She just recently got over her morning sickness but the anxiety certainly doesn't help and when she gets up in the morning, she heads right for the toilet.

 

Ashlyn, to her credit, follows behind Ali like everything is normal. She holds Ali’s hair and rubs her back while Ali empties her stomach. “Great way to start the day,” Ali says with an eye roll.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I hope that was it.”

 

Neither woman mentions their argument as they go about their morning routines as normally as possible. In the afternoon, Ashlyn will be flying to Portland for the weekend’s game which means that when they say goodbye as Ali heads to work, they’re saying goodbye for a few days. Ali is so mad that Ashlyn wouldn’t be surprised for her to root for the Thorns this weekend but she keeps that thought to herself. She also doesn’t expect Ali to have any interest in even looking at the van this weekend. Just in case she comes around, she uses it to drop the boys off with Deb and Ken (both of whom seem to have heard about the argument) and drives it back home to take her Jeep to the airport.

 

Being in Portland for the weekend is the perfect distraction from her fight with Ali. She hangs out with her teammates before the game and after the game, she goes to Tobin and Christen’s place. She tells them all about the fight and her intentions in getting the van and they both agree that while it makes sense for their family, she probably should’ve included Ali in the decision. They also agree that Ashlyn probably should have tried harder to keep her cool because it would’ve been much easier for her to remain calm and rational than a four months pregnant Ali.

 

“I hate that you’re right,” Ashlyn says. “Why couldn’t you have told me what I wanted to hear?”

 

“Because real friends don’t do that and let you get in even more trouble,” Christen says.

 

~

 

Ashlyn gets home Sunday afternoon, just before the twins go down for a much needed nap. With the twins asleep and her emotions settled, she decides to revisit the argument with Ali. This time, with a much calmer head.

 

“I really was trying to be helpful,” Ashlyn says.

 

“I know.”

 

“If we can’t get out of your lease, it’s honestly not that difficult to find someone to take it over.”

 

“My lease?” Ali asks, her eyebrows quirked. “So I have to give up my car for a van and you still get to drive your Jeep?”

 

“Ali, please, just let me talk. I don’t care which car we get rid of. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll gladly get rid of my Jeep and drive the van. I just wanted to make everything easier for you. Did you look at it while I was gone?”

 

Ali shakes her head no.

 

“Stubborn as always,” Ashlyn teases. “Will you come look at it now? I get that you’re mad but remember that in five months, this little one will be here and we’ll need the extra room,” she says as she puts a hand on Ali’s still small bump. “Please just come look.”

 

They take the baby monitor outside so they’ll be able to hear if the boys wake up. Ashlyn starts in the front of the car with the navigation system and the sunroof, which she knows Ali will love. When they’re done in the front, she uses the remote to open the sliding doors to the back. She shows off the sliding seat system, how easy it is for the twins to get in and out while they deal with the baby carrier when the new baby comes.

 

Without saying much, Ali goes all the way into the back row, sitting as Ashlyn shows off the capabilities of the van. Nearly every function will make their lives easier and she feels herself softening, even smiling at how excited Ashlyn is over a minivan of all things. If someone had told her ten years ago that one day Ashlyn would be excitedly showing off a minivan, Ali would have thought they were out of their mind. When Ashlyn is done giving her grand tour, she climbs into the back with Ali and uses the key fob to close the doors again.

 

“So?”

 

“It’s nice,” Ali says. “And we do need the space. I mean, if we didn’t keep having kids we could survive with our SUVs but obviously that’s not happening.”

 

“Yeah, a little late for that,” Ashlyn laughs.

 

“You did your research?”

 

“Babe, how long have we been together? You think after all this time I wouldn’t look at every single review the way you would? This thing is safe as hell, it runs great, and every review mentioned how functional it is for families. After this one, we could have three more kids and still fit everyone in here.”

 

“Yeah, not happening. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I just had a really bad day that day and even though I knew I was being over the top, I couldn’t help it.”

 

“It’s okay. I know this baby makes you a little crazy sometimes. Seriously, though, look at how much room there is back here.”

 

“Enough room to do this,” Ali says, taking Ashlyn’s face in her hands and kissing her deeply. She hates fighting with her and she hates it even more when they leave things unresolved for so long. She pours her apology into the kiss and smirks as Ashlyn gently lowers her down onto her back across the row of seats.

 

They kiss with passion and emotion, all of their kisses from the last three days saved up for this moment. Ashlyn keeps Ali pinned to the seats and snakes her hand underneath Ali’s t-shirt, sliding up from her belly to her breasts. Ali’s back arches up at the contact and as her brain catches up with what’s happening, she gently pushes Ashlyn away, completely breathless. “We can’t do this here.”

 

“Plenty of room,” Ashlyn says.  

 

“Not what I mean,” Ali laughs. “The neighbors are gonna see.”

 

Ashlyn reluctantly sits up, helping Ali do the same. “Tell me you love the van.”

 

“I love the van but I love you more. Want to go finish what we started?”

 

Ashlyn gets out of her seat, excitedly jumping out of the door. “See how easy it is to get in and out? Much nicer than an SUV.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, keep walking until you get to our bed.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> couldn't resist a little argument chapter ;) started with the idea of good intentions but terrible execution on Ashlyn's part and this is what I ended up with. You all made it through the breakup chapters earlier in the story so this was probably easy for you, right? :P


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the twins start soccer

 

The twins take to soccer as soon as they’re signed up at four years old. They’ve spent their entire lives around the sport so when Ali and Ashlyn finally sign them up for a local program, neither boy can contain his excitement. 

 

“I’m gonna be like Mama,” Theo declares. 

 

“I’m gonna be like Kelley,” Max says. 

 

Ashlyn shares a look with Ali, smiling at how excited the twins are. Soccer has given her everything she has (she never would’ve ended up at UNC and met Ali if she didn’t play) and she’s thrilled to share this love with her babies. “Goalkeeper and fullback, I can work with that,” she says. They the boys are so young that they still might change their minds about where they want to play but she’s glad at least one of them is interested in goalkeeping.

 

“When do we go?” Max asks. 

 

“Your first practice is in a little less than an hour,” Ali smiles. When they discussed how and when to tell them, she and Ashlyn agreed that the closer they could tell them to their first practice, the better. Otherwise, they would’ve had to answer questions about how much longer for days or even weeks. “Here are your shirts,” she says, handing each boy the screen printed team t-shirts. “We need you both to put these on with your black shorts. Can you do that?”

 

The boys each take their shirts from Ali and run off to their room to change. 

 

“Do you want me to take them and you can stay home with Piper or do you want to go and I’ll stay with her?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Can we all go? I definitely need to get out of the house and I don’t think either one of us wants to miss their first ever soccer practice.” 

 

“Sure,” Ashlyn shrugs. “She’s already six weeks old so it’s about damn time she sees soccer in person, even if it is under fives.” 

 

“Thank god my parents will be down here this summer to help with the kids at your games. The boys are finally interested in watching but it’s still hard to keep four year olds still for that long. I’ll need the extra hands with three kids.” 

 

“Honestly, I don’t know what we’d do without them,” Ashlyn says. Ali’s parents spend about six months a year at their place in Orlando but recently, there’s been more talk about them permanently retiring in their second home. This summer will be a trial run of them living in Florida full time, though there’s no doubt in either woman’s mind that once they’re near their grandkids full time, there’s no way they’ll want to move back to DC.  

 

Piper stays crying in need of a diaper change so Ashlyn takes the baby upstairs, stopping to peek in on the boys when she passes their room. 

 

“Those are mine,” Theo says. 

 

“They’re mine,” Max counters. 

 

Ashlyn pokes her head into the room just in time to see Theo attempt to rip a pair of black athletic shirts from his brother’s hands, despite the fact that he’s holding the exact same pair in his own hands. 

 

Theo successfully snatched the shorts away from Max who begins to cry. “Hey, what’s going on?” Ashlyn says gently. 

 

“He took my shorts,” Max says, trying to control his tears.

“They’re mine,” Theo says. 

 

“Don’t you have the same ones in your hand already?” Ashlyn questions. 

 

“I like these ones better,” Theo says. 

 

“They’re the exact same and Max had those ones first so can you please give them to him? You both need shorts to wear or we can’t go to soccer.” 

 

The mention of missing soccer practice works like a charm. Theo reluctantly hands the shorts over to his brother and pulls on the other pair. Satisfied that they’re finally getting ready instead of fighting, Ashlyn continues on her way to Piper’s room for a quick diaper change. When she goes back downstairs, she finds the boys putting their shoes on while Ali prepares the diaper bag. 

 

“Pipes has a clean diaper and is ready to go. Do you need any help?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“Uh, I think I have everything. Can you put Piper in her carrier and get the twins in the car?” 

 

The drive to the soccer fields is short and when they arrive, Max jumps right into practice with his new team. Theo, meanwhile, is a little reluctant to leave his moms’ sides. 

 

“Go out there, sweetie,” Ali says. 

 

“Don’t want to,” Theo mumbles, looking down at his feet. 

 

Ashlyn shares a quick look with her wife. Theo is much more reserved and careful than his twin so it comes as no surprise that he’s hesitant to jump into practice the way his brother did. Ashlyn crouches next to the boy and meets his gaze. “What’s wrong, bud? I thought you wanted to play soccer?” 

 

“I’m just a little kid sometimes I get scared.” 

 

Ashlyn does her best to stop herself from laughing. Ali, meanwhile, covers her laugh with a cough as she bounces Piper in her arms. “It’s okay to be scared of new people,” Ashlyn says. “But I think you should give your teammates and your coach a chance. I bet they’re all really nice and soccer is so much fun, I know you’ll love it.”

 

“Are you and Mommy going to watch?” 

 

Ashlyn smiles as she takes Theo’s hand. “Of course, baby. Sissy is gonna watch too. She’ll love watching her big brothers play like you love watching me play.” 

 

It takes a little more convincing from both of his moms but Theo finally agrees to go practice with the team. Ashlyn walks with him to the touchline, where the team is gathered and playing a game to get to know everyone while they warm up. He still seems a little nervous as he approaches the group but Max makes room so they can sit next to each other, which eases the other boy. 

 

“My sweet baby,” Ali says when Ashlyn returns to their spot on the sidelines. 

 

“I am sweet, aren’t I?” Ashlyn grins. 

 

“I meant Teddy,” Ali laughs. 

 

“And here I thought you were being nice to me.” 

 

“Nice try.” 

 

“He really is the sweetest,” Ashlyn says. Now that they’ve stretched and warmed up, the coaches direct the kids in a drill where they dribble the ball a few feet before they turn around and dribble back. Theo shows no signs of his earlier reluctance to join the group and does pretty well in the drill, just like Max. They’ve grown up around the sport and have played with Ashlyn and her teammates both in their backyard and in the stadium so it’s not surprising that the Harris twins seem to be a little more comfortable with a ball at their feet than the other kids.

 

~

 

After three practices, the boys have their first official game. The entire team dresses in their matching blue shirts with black shorts and black socks. Both Max and Theo have the child version of the cleats Ashlyn wears, which she ordered through her contacts at Umbro. She figured they’d each want their favorite colors so for Max, she got fire engine red and for Theo, she picked Orlando purple. Sitting on the sidelines before the twins’ first game, she and Ali help them put their shin guards and cleats on. 

 

Ashlyn has always shared her love of the sport with the twins and now that they’re about to play their first ever game, she can’t stop smiling. Just before she sends them over to their coach, she gathers both boys by her and Ali (and Piper, who is sleeping in a baby carrier on Ali’s chest). 

 

“You excited?” she asks, looking back and forth between the twins. 

 

“Yeah,” the twins say in unison. 

 

“Mommy and I are really proud of you. Go out and do your best, okay? High-five and then go with your team.” She holds her hand out, getting an excited high-five from both boys who then run off to their team. 

 

“I think you’re more excited than they are,” Ali teases. Although they didn’t have to be at the fields until the afternoon, Ashlyn woke early to prepare for the day. After a quick shower, she set to work on laying the boys’ soccer uniforms out for them and made a big breakfast for the family. As they ate, Ashlyn gave the twins some last minute advice as and encouragement for their game. Ali always loves seeing Ashlyn with their kids but something about sharing this love of soccer makes it that much sweeter.

 

“I have no shame in admitting that,” Ashlyn says. “My three favorite things in the world are you, our kids, and soccer so to get to share this sport with them is really special.”

 

Ali pulls her sunglasses up to the top of her head and pulls Ashlyn in for a quick kiss. “You’re cute,” she says when they part. 

 

As the game begins, Ashlyn’s excitement turns into nervous energy which pulls her competitive spirit out. She paces by Ali while the kids play, muttering under her breath whenever she thinks the ref made a bad call. 

 

Ali watches her wife in both horror and amusement. She knows better than anyone how competitive Ashlyn is but she never expected that she would be this fired up about their four year olds’ soccer game. When the green team just barely loses the ball over the touchline but the ref lets play continue rather than calling for a throw in (the last throw in was met with confusion from both teams, the kids not really understanding how they work even though they went over them at practice), Ashlyn says something about the ref needing his eyes checked. She’s a little too loud and earns glances from some of the other parents nearby. 

 

Ali closes the gap between her and Ashlyn and pats her on the stomach, usually a sure fire way to calm Ashlyn down. “Babe, they’re four. Can you please stop yelling at the ref like it’s a World Cup final?” She lightly scratches her hand over Ashlyn’s t-shirt, giving her wife a soft smile. 

 

“I wasn’t yelling. I was just saying that the ref obviously needs his eyes checked. It should’ve been a throw in for us.” 

 

Ali shoots her wife an exasperated look, eliciting a sigh from Ashlyn. 

 

“Okay, fine, I’ll be quiet.” 

 

“Now that would be a first,” Ali teases. She pats Ashlyn’ stomach again and presses a gentle kiss to the top of Piper’s hat covered head as she starts to wake from her nap. 

 

“You know, you do the same damn thing to the dog,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“You always rub my stomach like you do the dog.”

 

“It’s not my fault it works on both of you when you need to calm down,” Ali shrugs. “You want me to scratch behind your ears too?” 

 

“That sounds nice, actually,” Ashlyn grins. “How’s my girl doing?” She rubs her hand over the hat on Piper’s head and takes her feet into her hands, bouncing them a little. 

 

“Not long until she’ll be out there too,” Ali muses. 

 

“I don’t even want to think about her getting bigger. I want her to stay little forever. I want them all to stay little forever.”

 

“I know,” Ali says. “The boys are getting too big. Playing soccer now and they’ll start kindergarten in September.” 

 

“Stop,” Ashlyn groans. They watch their boys out on the field, smiling proudly. Both of the twins end up scoring a goal (they don’t play with goalkeepers this young so Theo has to settle for being on the field for the time being) and when the game is over, they run over to their moms. 

 

“Did you see me?” Theo asks as he wraps his arms around Ashlyn’s legs. 

 

“Did you see me?” Max echos. 

 

“We saw both of you,” Ali grins. “You did such a good job.”

 

“Yeah, nice goals, boys,” Ashlyn says. “You score more goals than me.” 

 

“That’s because you stop them, Mama,” Theo says in an exasperated tone that reminds her so much of Ali’s. “You’re not supposed to score goals.” 

 

Ashlyn gently smacks her forehead, as if he just reminded her of something important. “Of course, silly me.” 

 

“Silly Mama,” Max says. 

 

“What do you think our soccer superstars get ice cream after dinner?” Ali says. 

 

“I’d love so—,” Ashlyn begins, stopping herself when she realizes that Ali meant the twins. “Yeah, what do you think?” 

 

Both twins nod eagerly and sit down on the grass to trade their cleats and soccer socks for ankle socks and street shoes. When they’re ready, the entire family loads into the van and head to one of their favorite restaurants for dinner. The boys talk excitedly about their game while they eat and Ashlyn’s heart swells with pride over how much they love the sport too. They might stick with it for a week, a month, a year, or even decades as she has. No matter how long they play, she’s happy to share this mutual love with her babies. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as of now, there's only one of these chapters left, which i'll try to get up this weekend


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> family vacation to the rocky mountains

  
  


“Do we have everything?”

 

Ashlyn looks down at the checklist on her phone, verifying that they packed everything they’ll need for their first vacation as a family of six. Just eight months earlier, they welcomed their fourth child, finally completing their family. Piper is such an easy going kid that they started the process to have another baby after her first birthday and after a few rounds of IVF, welcomed baby Emery the following spring. 

 

“More diapers and wipes than we could need even though we could go to the store, check; clothes, socks, and underwear for the kids, check; clothes, socks, and underwear for us, check; stroller, check; tablets to keep them busy on the plane, check,” Ashlyn says, reading through the list. “Hey, you think we should buy earplugs in bulk and give them to the people around us on the plane?” 

 

“Not a bad idea,” Ali laughs. “But we definitely don’t have time to stop and buy any. At least my parents are coming to help us.”

 

“Yeah, I have no idea how we’d pull off a trip like this without them.” 

 

When they first came up with the idea to go to Vail, Colorado for their family vacation, they quickly realized that they would need some extra help on this particular trip so they invited Ali’s parents. This way, they can trade off which adults go skiing and snowboarding with the twins and which ones stay with the two youngest kids. Even Kyle is flying in from LA to join the family fun.  

 

“I still can’t believe you got me to agree to go somewhere snowy,” Ashlyn says. 

 

“Yeah, well, when you live somewhere tropical, you have to go somewhere different and we’ve never been to Colorado as a family. Speaking of the snow, we have coats for all the kids, right?”

 

Ashlyn cringes a little as she glances to the chair in their bedroom where the kids’ coats are all stacked far away from the suitcases ready by the door. She crosses the room and deposits them into the still mostly empty second checked bag. “We do now.” 

 

“This is why we make lists,” Ali says. 

 

“I knew that suitcase wasn’t full enough. God, we need a lot of stuff.”

 

Ali shrugs, taking in the sight of four carry ons (the twins, now seven, like to bring their superhero suitcases which are filled with entertainment for the plane ride) and two full sized checked bags. “It’s honestly not that bad considering all the winter gear we have to bring.” 

 

“All the winter gear we had to buy for this one trip, you mean.”

 

“You’ll survive,” Ali says, pressing a gentle kiss to Ashlyn’s lips. “And the kids will love playing in the snow.” 

 

As she speaks, Emery starts fussing from her place in the bouncer in the corner. Ashlyn goes to the baby, scooping her into her arms. “Look, the mention of snow made her cry. She’s never seen temperatures lower than 70, she won’t know what to do.” 

 

“But think of how cute she’ll look in her snowsuit.” 

 

“She’s cute in anything,” Ashlyn says, kissing the baby’s cheek. “Aren’t you, my sweet girl?” 

 

Emery babbles a response, smiling at her mom. She, like Piper, inherited Ashlyn’s dimple but while Piper has only one, Emery has two. Everyone melts whenever she smiles, her moms most of all. 

 

“I’ll go get the big kids to put their shoes on so we can go,” Ali offers. “Can you change her and then we’ll start hauling everything downstairs?” 

 

Ali sets off to the twins’ room, where they’re racing hot wheels with Piper. “Ready to go on vacation?” she asks excitedly. 

 

Both Max and Theo shoot up, promptly forgetting about their toys. “Yeah,” Theo exclaims. 

 

“Okay, then I need you all to put your socks and shoes on. Do you need help, Pipes?” 

 

“I’m a big girl,” Piper declares, shaking her head. 

 

“Of course,” Ali smiles at the three year old. She leaves the kids to get themselves ready and returns to her and Ashlyn’s room to start moving suitcases downstairs. 

 

“Fresh babe,” Ashlyn says, coming into the room with a babbling Emery on her hip. She grabs on of the twins’ suitcases with her other hand and sets off downstairs while Ali brings one of the full size cases. She puts the suitcase by the door and the baby on her playmat in the living room so she can bring down the other large suitcase, leaving the other small case for Ali. 

 

It takes over thirty minutes to get everyone out of the house and into the van and as they pull away from the driveway, Ali is thankful that they built in the extra time they would need to get on the road. No matter where they’re going, they plan to leave at least fifteen minutes early because with four kids they know they’ll never actually get out on time. 

 

The family chats excitedly about their upcoming trip on the way to the airport and when they arrive, Ali straps Piper and Emery into the double umbrella stroller and calls her parents to tell them where they’re parked. Ashlyn, meanwhile, unloads the suitcases. “You know the drill, boys,” she says as she pulls their small suitcases from the trunk. “You wanted to bring your own suitcases so you’re responsible for them, okay?”

 

“We know,” Max says with an eye roll. 

 

“Don’t roll your eyes at her; she was just reminding you,” Ali says. “Sass monster,” she mutters under her breath.  

 

“Sorry.” 

 

Just as Ashlyn gets everything unloaded from the trunk, Ali’s parents walk up with their own suitcase. 

 

“What do you need help with?” Deb asks. 

 

The adults divide up responsibilities as fairly as possible. Ali pushes the stroller while Ashlyn takes a big suitcase with Emery’s car seat on top and her carry on. Ken takes his and Deb’s checked bag and Ali’s carry on and Deb takes the other checked bag with Piper’s car seat on top and makes a chain with Max and Theo while they walk through the parking garage. Things get a little easier once they get inside and drop off the three checked bags and the car seats. 

 

“So what are we going to do on vacation?” Ken asks the kids once they’re waiting at their gate. 

 

“Play in the snow,” Max says. 

 

“Mommy and Mama said we can go snowboarding,” Theo says. 

 

“I think I’ll stick to skis,” Deb smiles. 

 

With so many people in their group, they take up an entire six seat row on the plane and even still, Ken has to sit in an aisle seat in front of everyone else. When the plane first takes off, Emery gets a little fussy, worrying Ashlyn that she’s on her way to a meltdown in the middle of a crowded flight. 

 

“It’s okay,” she coos, bouncing the baby on her lap. 

 

“Look, sweetie,” Ali says. She holds one of the baby’s favorite toys in front of her, shaking it so it rattles the way she likes. 

 

Emery smiles at the sight of the toy and reaches out to take it from Ali. This placates her for a while but after thirty minutes or so, she grows bored of the toy and starts getting restless once again. This time, she continues crying no matter their tactics and after about five minutes, someone in the row behind them taps Ashlyn on the shoulder. 

 

“Control your kid,” he says, voice full of annoyance. 

 

“Are you kidding me?” Ali says, whipping her head around to stare down a fifty something year old man. 

 

“Al, it’s okay,” Ashlyn says. “It’s not worth it.” 

 

Ali settles back against her seat with an annoyed sigh. “She’s not even being that loud and what are we supposed to do? Reason with an eight month old?” 

 

“I know.” 

 

“I just hate when people are rude to families on planes. Bring headphones if you don’t want to be disturbed.” 

 

“Al, I know. It’s okay. Anyway, I think I figured out what’s wrong while you were getting ready to start swinging on that guy. I think she’s teething. Look at how red her gums are.”

 

Ali peeks inside Emery’s mouth and, sure enough, her gums are red and irritated and she’s drooling more than normal. With at least something to go on, she reaches under her seat for the backpack they use as a diaper bag. She easily finds a teether and gives it to the baby who begins gnawing on it immediately. 

 

“Does that feel good, baby?” Ashlyn coos as Emery visibly relaxes after just a few seconds of chewing on the toy. “Yeah, you were just in pain and didn’t have another way to tell us, huh? Mean people don’t understand that.”

 

“I don’t like mean people,” Piper says.

 

“Me neither,” Ashlyn replies, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. 

 

The rest of the flight passes without major incident and when they arrive, they’re so focused on making sure they’re not forgetting anything that Ali forgets all about the guy behind them. She’s ready for a nice family vacation and his comment is the farthest thing from her mind. 

 

~

 

“Whoa,” Max says as they arrive at the rental house. Situated just two minutes from town, the large home somehow feels secluded and private. It boasts five bedrooms and a spacious entryway and living room. It’s clear the house is mostly used as a rental because there are few personal items around. To Ali, this is a huge bonus because that means there’s less for the kids to get into and possibly break during their stay. 

 

There’s a large master suite with a balcony looking at the mountains on the top floor, which Deb and Ken insist Ali and Ashlyn take. Down the hall, they find a room with two twin beds and then another room with a queen bed, a crib, and a beautiful view of the mountains. 

 

“We can sleep in here with Emery if you want,” Deb says.

 

“You don’t have to,” Ali replies. “We can totally sleep in here with her.”

 

“Nope. You’re on vacation which means you get a break.” 

 

Ali knows there’s no point in arguing with her stubborn mom (it’s where she got her own stubbornness, after all) and they continue the tour of the house. At the end of the hall on the top floor is a bedroom with three sets of bunk beds, which the twins have already decided need to be turned into forts. 

 

“This one’s my bed,” Max exclaims as Ali, Ashlyn, and Deb walk into the room with Piper and Emery.

 

“And this is mine,” Theo says from the bed closest to the window. 

 

“Which one does Piper get?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

“That one,” Max says, pointing to the bunk bed across from the ones he and Theo picked. 

 

Piper runs to the bed they chose for her and sits down on the bottom bunk, an unwavering smile on her face. 

 

They leave the kids to play in their room so they can explore the rest of the house. The main floor features a massive kitchen, a deck looking out at the mountains, and the living room. On the bottom floor is another bedroom, bathroom, and living room which they decide can be Kyle’s space for the week. It’s a sanctuary away from the rowdy kids, which Ali knows he’ll appreciate at the end of a long day.

 

“That hot tub is gonna feel so nice after we go skiing and snowboarding,” Ashlyn says, pointing out the window to the hot tub on the deck. 

 

“I’m tempted to get in right now,” Ali says. 

 

“Me too but if we don’t feed the kids soon, they’re gonna start eating the furniture.” 

 

They end up leaving the kids with Deb and Ken and head out to the grocery store to get food and snacks for the week. On the way back to the house, they stop and pick up pizza and breadsticks. 

 

Sitting around the massive dinner table, the kids talk excitedly about the forts Ken helped them make in the bunkbed room. Ali has never seen the seven year olds so excited to go to sleep and, as always, Piper follows their lead. As soon as they’re done eating dinner, all three older kids go up to their room, leaving just Emery with the adults. She, like her parents and grandparents, is tired after a long day of traveling and getting settled. She’s more cuddly than normal and seems to enjoy the quiet now that her older siblings are occupied playing in the bunkbed room. 

 

“Sweet Emmy,” Ali says as she cradles the sleepy baby in her arms. “Better get all my cuddles in now because when Uncle Kyle gets here in the morning, he’s not gonna put you down.”

 

Kyle last saw the baby two months ago and since then, she has started crawling and become so much more aware of the world around her. Her personality is rapidly developing and Ali wishes she could stop time and keep Emmy as a baby forever. Like Theo, she loves to cuddle and it’s becoming clear that she loves making people laugh. Even at such a young age, she has figured out how to make people laugh by making funny faces or trying to put two pacifiers in her mouth at the same time. Ali never thought they could have another baby as easy as Piper but they hit the jackpot once again. Although she knows their family is complete, Piper and Emery are so easy that she could almost be swayed to have another. 

 

“Rest up, baby,” Ashlyn says, watching as Ali rocks Emmy to sleep. “We have a long few days ahead of us.” 

 

~

 

When Kyle’s flight arrives the following morning, Deb and Ken set off to the airport to pick him up, bringing him to the house where Ali and Ashlyn are getting the kids ready for a day on the slopes. The plan for the morning is for Ali, Ashlyn, and Kyle to take the twins snowboarding while Deb and Ken take Piper and Emery to a small hill for some sledding. The entire group will meet back at the house for lunch and will plan out the rest of their day. 

 

“Where are my babes,” Kyle says as he comes in through the front door. He leaves his suitcases in the entryway and doesn’t explore the house beyond looking for his nieces and nephews. He starts up the stairs and finds Ali and Ashlyn getting the girls dressed in the master bedroom. 

 

“Uncle Kyle,” Piper exclaims. She runs away from Ashlyn, who was in the middle of pulling the three year old’s sweat pants on. Without the waistband in its proper place, her pants fall down around her ankles as she hugs Kyle’s legs. 

 

“Hey, Pipes,” he grins. He helps her pull her pants all the way up and scoops her into his arms. “You ready to play in the snow?” 

 

“I go sledding,” Piper says. 

 

“What? That’s so cool. You’ll have to show me how it’s done later.” 

 

“How about you show Uncle Kyle the house,” Ali suggests. “I’m sure he wants to see it.” 

 

“Yeah, can you show me around?” 

 

“Come on,” Piper says. She wriggles out of his arms and takes his hand to lead him through the rest of the house but before they go, Kyle takes Emmy from Ali’s arms, loving on the baby as he follows Piper around their vacation home. 

 

By the time the family makes it out of the house, they only have a few hours before lunch time so Ali, Ashlyn, and Kyle head right to the slopes with the twins. They all select snowboards for the day and decide to take on a beginner hill to see how the boys do before they try to move to bigger hills. 

 

“I’m gonna smoke both of you,” Ashlyn says to Ali and Kyle as they prepare for their first ride of the day. Ali, who is used to Ashlyn’s competitiveness, doesn’t respond but Kyle takes it as a challenge, getting both of them riled up and ready for some of the bigger hills. 

 

For never having experienced anything like this before, both boys do pretty well on the smallest hill so after two practice runs, the group of five decides to tackle the next hill. This hill, unlike the one before it, features some boxes, rails, and jumps, which Ashlyn eyes longingly. They stick with this hill for over an hour and on their agreed upon last run before going back to the house for lunch, Ashlyn finally decides to try some tricks on the equipment. 

 

She rides the rail perfectly fine and goes into the jump with speed and far too much confidence on her side. Launching herself into the air, she attempts a frontside 360, skipping the 180 entirely for a bigger trick. Having never tried such a move before, she loses herself in the air and comes down onto her shoulder, instantly feeling it pop out of place. “Ow, fuck.” 

 

“Do not repeat that,” Ali says, looking at the twins as their eyes go wide at hearing language they’re not usually privy to. She, Kyle, and the boys go to Ashlyn as she sits up. 

 

“You’re gonna hate this, Al,” Ashlyn says. As a former goalkeeper, she’s well versed in shoulder injuries. She’s dislocated her shoulder more times than she can count and knows exactly how to pop it back into place. She reaches up with her good arm and pushed it right back in place before finally looking over at her wife who looks horrified. 

 

“What did you just do?”

 

“Popped it back in place. No big deal. I’ll just ice it when we get back to the house and keep it as still as possible. If it’s really bad, we can look for a sling at the drugstore.”  

 

“You have to go to the doctor,” Ali says. 

 

“It’ll be okay. There’s really nothing more a doctor would do for me than put it back in place. I’ve done it before.”

 

“You are something else,” Ali says, shaking her head. She takes off Ashlyn’s snowboard for her and helps her stand to walk the twenty or so feet to the end of the hill. They turn in their boards, ending the two hour long rental, and return to the house. 

 

“How was snowboarding?” Deb asks as she makes lunch with the girls playing in the living room. 

 

Ali shoots Ashlyn a look, wordlessly telling her that she’s the one who has to answer the question. Before Ashlyn can open her mouth, however, Max speaks up. “Mama tried this really cool trick and fell on her arm. She said a bad word and now Mommy is mad.” 

 

“I’m not mad, sweetie,” Ali says. “I just wish she would’ve let me take her to a doctor instead of putting her shoulder back in place herself.” 

 

“Baby, it’s fine,” Ashlyn says, pressing a gentle kiss to her wife’s cheek. She makes her way over the the freezer, luckily finding a few ice cube trays. She grabs one of the sandwich bags they bought to package snacks in and fills it with ice. She ices her shoulder throughout lunch, the ice slightly easing the pain. 

 

After lunch, the twins are eager to get back on the slopes so Deb, Ken, and Kyle agree to take them back out while Ali and Ashlyn stay home with the girls, both of whom are ready to go down for a nap after the long morning. Emery in the crib and Piper in Deb and Ken’s bed, both girls fall asleep easily. Ali switches on the baby monitor and takes the receiver when she and Ashlyn leave the room. 

 

“Are you mad?” Ashlyn asks. 

 

Ali shakes her head and molds herself to Ashlyn’s body in a hug, being careful not to disturb Ashlyn’s shoulder. “I just hate it when you’re hurt. How do you feel?” 

 

“I’ve had worse,” Ashlyn says. “You know what might feel good?” 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“If we go in the hottub. Might not have another chance for just us.” 

 

“Let’s go,” Ali grins. 

 

Both women change into their bathing suits and when they’re done, Ali brings the baby monitor and a bluetooth speaker to play music from her phone while Ashlyn grabs two beers from the fridge. She joins Ali in the hottub, sighing contentedly as she sinks into the water. 

 

“You know I hate cold weather but this place really is awesome,” Ashlyn says. She looks around at their surroundings, at the snow covering the yard and the nearby mountains. It’s a change of pace from their normal surroundings and she already feels refreshed after less than 24 hours in town. 

 

“It’s beautiful here.” 

 

“Not as beautiful as you,” Ashlyn says, eliciting an eye roll from Ali. 

 

“How many times are you gonna give me that line throughout our lives?” Ali asks with a smile on her face. No matter how many times she hears it, it never fails to make her smile. 

 

“For the rest of our lives. You know this.” 

 

“You’re cute.” She moves to Ashlyn and sits on her lap, leaning back against her wife as they fall into a comfortable silence. She sits in that position for nearly ten minutes before she turns around, straddling Ashlyn’s lap as she runs a hand through her wife’s damp hair. 

 

“Thanks for planning such a great vacation,” Ashlyn says. “And for convincing me to go somewhere with snow.” 

 

“I never thought I’d hear you appreciate the snow,” Ali says. “The kids are definitely enjoying it.” 

 

“I am too. Dislocated shoulder notwithstanding.” 

 

“Poor baby just had to try to show off,” Ali says. She cups Ashlyn’s cheek, pulling her in for a deep kiss. “I wish we could buy this place,” she says when they part. “Can you imagine being able to bring the family here whenever we want? We could invite your family too.” 

 

“It would be great,” Ashlyn agrees. “But we have four kids to put through school, so.” 

 

“Yeah,” Ali laughs. “Why did we have so many kids?” 

 

“Because we make the best ones and we both know that if money and age weren’t factors, we’d probably have even more. There’s nothing better.” 

 

“Mmm, I know,” Ali says. She snuggles against Ashlyn’s good shoulder, completely relaxed in her wife’s embrace. “We’re so lucky.” 

 

“Don’t I know it,” Ashlyn grins, pressing a kiss to Ali’s forehead. 

 

They stay in the hottub until their hands and feet are wrinkled and head right to their room to take advantage of the rest of their alone time. 

 

~

 

Since Ashlyn needs to keep her shoulder still, she doesn’t make it back out onto the slopes during the vacation, instead doing things with the girls. Most times, Ali stays with her, making sure to dote on her wife. She knows Ashlyn is sad that she can’t be out there snowboarding with the twins so she ensures that they make the most of the trip. They explore the town together and go out for ice cream with the girls while everyone else is out on the slopes.  

 

On their last night in town, they have a family game night at the vacation house, utilizing the games the owners provide for their guests. With the fireplace on, they sit around the table and play any game the kids desire. Surrounded by the people she loves most, Ali has one of the best nights she’s ever had. There’s more laughter and love than she knows what to do with and as she and Ashlyn get ready for bed that night, they agree that this is the first but certainly not the last trip to the Rocky mountains. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one
> 
> Thank you all for reading. It's been great to read all your comments even when you weren't too happy with me at times ;) 
> 
> If you have any questions about how their lives turn out or things that happen with the kids, I'd be happy to answer them (and who knows, it might inspire another chapter or two!)


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